Episodi
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Welcome Foreplay listeners! Today's episode is another in our 'School of Love' series that we are close to completing. We are talking today about how to stay and keep focused on the pursuing partner as they express their vulnerability. Listen in as George and Laurie breakdown the steps a couple needs to have completed before getting to this point and how both partners can stay focused on the pursuer's pain. This is a place where withdrawers are now able to give their pursuing partner love that they never received before. This can be scary territory for both but this is also the place where a new, positive and secure cycle is created. The key here is responsiveness. Focus on ways to respond to your partner's pain that helps them feel seen, heard and understood. These are key attachment needs that are important to us ALL.
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"I'm always the one to bring up issues. I want our relationship to be better so I work to address the discomfort between us. Somehow this is a problem and I am now seen as THE problem, a nag, someone that can be tuned out. I've worked so hard here. Help!!!" If this sounds familiar, then this episode on the pursuer's position in the relationship is for you! Join our experts today as they focus on the inside world of the emotional pursuer and help them with the change event that leads to healing in the relationship. George and Laurie work to get underneath the layers of the pursuer's protest to help them and the emotional withdrawer in their life understand the pain, anguish and desperation of the pursuer. This softening event is the gamechanger for pursuers and our recovering emotional withdrawers are pivotal in this change! Learn how to manage rejection and communicate the underlying need with safety and vulnerability. Our hosts' roleplay highlights for listeners exactly what this conversation can sound like. Make sure to come back for our follow up show on the sexual pursuer next time. As always, keep it hot y'all!
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Will sex ever happen between us? If this has been a sticking point in your relationship then this episode is for you! Join our hosts today as we talk through what it looks like when the sexual withdrawer is re-engaged. The negative cycle is de-escalated, a new positive cycle has been created and there is enough safety to uncover the wants and needs of the sexual relationship. Give this show a listen to hear what the conversation between a de-escalated and more secure couple sounds like and how to make this happen. Our hosts remind you that pressure serves no purpose in the bedroom and a truly de-escalated couple will keep pressure around sex low and slow. It's important to remember that sometimes we have to go slow, to go fast. Make sure to give us a rate and review and keep it hot, y'all!
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In today's episode, join hosts Laurie and George as they uncover the ultimate move that creates lasting change in couples. The changemaker for a negative cycle is when the withdrawing partner is able to stay in their fear and uncover their unmet need. In the negative cycle the old move to sense the discomfort and move away immediately begins to be replaced with a new ability to tolerate and remain present. Staying in the fear, with your partner close at hand allows you to ask, "What do I need here? Can you help me with it?" This new experience sends a message through the body and brain that this is now safe and we are rewarded with closeness and comfort where there was once isolation. We are not meant to be alone! George reminds withdrawers that you must risk if you want the reward. Our hosts role play, guides listeners in this meaningful conversation and reminds them, this is possible in your relationship! Therapists--Join us in Nashville January 25-27th for our Sex and EFT training to help your couples with their negative sexual cycle.
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In today's episode, Laurie and George answer a listener's mailbag question. We love getting these write-ins and acknowledge the courage it takes to ask for help! Our listener is a burned out or almost burned out sexual pursuer that is frustrated and saddened by their sexless marriage. Covid, menopause, adult children at home are circumstances this couple is facing and blocks for intimate connection. George and Laurie give expert advice on how to navigate this situation, some of the physiological challenges impacting this couple and how to craft a thoughtful, caring and loving conversation to bridge the gap. Both pursuers and withdrawers will gain insight into the lives of their partners and we remember to blame the cycle to de-escalate the tension and encourage vulnerable conversation. Need help in your relationship? Send us a question on our website www.foreplayrst.com
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You've probably waited years for your partner to hear you and make the changes you've needed. So why does that change now make you feel pissed off? The answer: mistrust is part of the change process. Learning how to manage this mistrust is imperative for couples when they are changing their negative cycle. In today's episode join our hosts Laurie and George in a fantastic conversation on what happens to us when our partners start to make the changes we've been asking for, for years and why that can cause mistrust. You'll learn what's happening in your brain when there is a red light, yellow light or green light in connection and strategies to promote regulation and connection. Remember, our brains are wired to protect and they want to hold on to the negative information for safety. Leaning into the mistrust and planning for this with your partner as you're changing together will help you navigate this new territory and be more successful. Therapists looking to get more training on the sexual cycle make sure to head over to our website www.foreplayrst.com to learn more about our training in Nashville this January!
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Run, don't walk to listen to today's episode! Laurie and George lay out a transformational conversation between partners: when the sexual withdrawer begins to reenage. Re-engagement means, the sexual withdrawer is aware that something is not working, sees the negative cycle and their part in it and begins to open up to their partner about their underlying needs. This is a pivotal conversation and can be a gamechanger for couples that have been trapped in a negative sexual cycle. Both withdrawing and pursuing partners will find value in the expert commentary laid out by our hosts. Did you know that knowing what you need and sending clearer signals to your partner is a sign of secure attachment? For so many of us, being direct with what we want, need, like and desire has been off limits but it is a major component to secure and successful love. Join us today and drop a review of this episode so we know how we're doing!
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In today's episode, we're sounding the school bell and bringing listeners back into our 'School of Love.' This show focuses on motivating emotional withdrawers to be more open. If you're the pursuing partner you may find yourself screaming with excitement right now, withdrawers...not so much. Which is completely okay! Join our experts George and Laurie today as we make space for the withdrawing partner to: identify your protective move, understand why you do what you do, honor that protection and try something new. We get it, taking the risk to share emotion and let your partner in is tough stuff but we also know first hand the amazing change that can take place in relationships when the withdrawing partner is able to take this step. Make sure you grab your notebooks and pencils, our hosts drop great insight that you won't want to miss. Need a little more support? There is still time to sign up for our virtual couples retreat on October 4th. Head to www.foreplayrst.com for more details.
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In adult partnered relationships we ask each other hundreds of questions on a regular basis. Most often, the questions we ask surround logistical needs, who's doing what and what time do we need to be there? So many of us underuse curiosity and open-ended meaningful questions. We get it! Life is busy and in efforts to get it all done, getting solid on the plans is a necessity. But as purveyors of bettering relationships and sex lives across the world, we are challenging our listeners to start asking each other about...SEX! Make sure to head to our website to check out the article from The Knot which inspired our show today, listing '12 Sex Questions for Couples'. Do you know what puts your partner in the mood? Do they like it gentle or rough? Anything new they want to try in bed? We know that if you don't ask you'll never know!
Any other questions you would add to this list? Head over to our Instagram @foreplay_sextherapypodcast and drop them in our comments. We can't wait to hear what you come up with!
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It's said that one of the biggest problems in communication is that we listen to respond rather than truly hearing what someone is saying. Sometimes, an even bigger issue is that we can't get a full sentence out before we are interrupted! Join our hosts today as they lead listeners through a conversation on interruptions and how to stop. George reminds us that information you want to interrupt with is probably valuable but the timing is off. Timing is key to creating more success in your communication with your love. When it comes to vulnerability, interruptions can flood the mind and they stop one of the most valuable communication tools...curiosity. Curiosity, as Dr. Laurie remarks, helps drain the poison from the partner that is feeling and working to express emotion. If interruptions cause problems in your communication with your spouse, make sure to listen to this show and take notes!
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You may find you and your partner fighting about the
dishwasher, kids, money or sex. But what are you really fighting about? That's
what experts answer on this episode as they highlight the emotional cycle,
the sexual cycle and the impact of both. Couples are really set up to miss each
other and argue. It's an unfair reality that so many of us know. Some of us
need verbal communication and a strong emotional connection to feel close and
others need physical touch to create safety and connection. And when these
things conflict we experience misattunement. Join our hosts today as they talk
through a role play conversation highlighting this dilemma and the best ways to
repair it. The ability to repair is what makes couples great and able to handle
whatever conflict is thrown their way. Next time you find yourself arguing over
the dishes, maybe it's time to explore the cycles and if they are colliding.
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We all know the standard: missionary, doggystyle, woman on top but have you ever heard of these...the Stand and Deliver, the Pearly Gates, the Pretzel? Maybe you're scratching your head right now. We hope you're at least intrigued and ready to join us on this fun, playful episode where we are talking all things sex positions! Inspired by an article in a recent issue of Men's Health by Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of "She Comes First," George and Laurie are introducing listeners to these positions and many more. Our sexpert, Dr. Laurie breaks down how these positions increase pleasure for both partners and can increase the quality of orgasm, lover connection and maybe even some laughter to the bedroom. This is a spicy episode that you'll definitely want to listen to with the lover in your life!
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Male orgasms--seems pretty straightforward right? Think again. Join our experts on today's show to learn all about the male orgasm and how to make it better! George and Laurie take you through some of the mechanics of the male orgasm and introduce listeners to several strategies to increase the time, duration and pleasure of the male 'O'. Did you know that eating more greens and reducing your overall stress will lead to increased sensation during sex? There is so much more going on for men and their bodies than meets the eye. Listen as we explore the erogenous zones to hit, incorporating kegels (yes, kegels) into your routine and how to focus less on performance and more on the overall experience. Open up this conversation about orgasms with your love and how you can help each other get that better, hotter 'O' the next time you hit the sheets. Keep it hot y'all!
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The 'School of Love' is still on summer break and we can't help but think of it as the Summer of Love! While we're on break we are trying to keep things light and fun before our September session begins. Join us today as we discuss all things orgasm! Hosts, Dr. Laurie Watson and George Faller invite listeners to a conversation on the art of the 'O' and strategies that will really get things going. This is a no pressure show! Just because we're talking about orgasms doesn't mean you should run from this podcast to the bedroom with these expectations in hand. Rather we encourage you to think about what sets you up for success and helps your body get to this pleasure point. You'll walk away with some tips and tricks from our experts and tools to promote a positive and confident mindset. We encourage you to keep things fun, playful and light here and keep the pressure low. Remember pressure kills pleasure! Make sure to leave us a rating a review and head over to our IG @foreplay_sextherapypodcast and tell us what you think. We love hearing from you all!
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What memories does summertime bring up for you? For some the season might make you reminisce about long sunny days, swimming in a pool, sweet smells and your first love. It is a season through which sights, sounds, and smells can bring up right back to pivotal and formative moments. This episode is all about summer luvin' and how it 'had me a blast.' Hosts George Faller and Dr. Laurie Watson walk listeners through questions partners can ask each other using their B.E.S.T sex script and why this steamy season often gets us in the mood. Did you know that longer days and more physical activity lead to greater arousal? It's true! Thirty minutes after physical activity, the body is more primed and available for arousal than before. Listeners will walk away from this episode with ideas on how to have summer relaxation all year long, create bonding moments with your spouse to increase your emotional connection and more ways to keep things hot! Head to our website www.foreplayrst.com for a list of questions from today's episode. There you can also find more info on our virtual couples therapy retreat on October 4th.
Please check out our episode sponsors (and help support our mission!):
RocketMoney.com -- track your money and stop those pesky annual renewals that you no longer use!
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In this episode, Laurie and George answer a mailbag question from a Foreplay listener. She asks the hosts for help with her partner who is turned off by her bodily fluids during sex. A self-described sexual pursuer, she begins to worry about her withdrawing partner and the future of their relationship. George and Laurie work to reassure this listener that this is a common concern in relationships. Not everyone loves this exchange and that is okay! Listen as our hosts, guide a role play that will help this couple communicate about these issues and take the heat off the topic. This expert conversation will help both partners gain insight, get to the root of the issue, be curious and create a safe space to explore these differences. Don't miss these gems from the show: Change your language. Don't just focus on what you're getting or not getting rather share the longing underneath. Anxiety can cause you to obliterate the otherness of your partner. It's okay to have differences and they don't need to be wrong or bad. Both partners can grow and stretch in their sexual worlds. This is a lifelong adventure. Want more hands-on guidance from Laurie and George? Make sure to join us on October 4th for our virtual couples retreat!t
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It's time for a summer break from the 'School of Love.' Throw away your notebooks and let's dish on how to spice things up this summer! Are you tired of your stale routines and want to explore new things? Join us today as we talk about role reversals! We're helping the visual sexual responder take some risks and try seducing. Not sure what that means? Jump in with Laurie and George to find out what role you usually take on in your sexual relationship, how to switch it up and how to repair if the risk goes wrong. Included in this episode are novel ideas on how to initiate sex, increase desire and build empathy for each other. We're all about helping you have better relationships and better sex, take a break from your studies and soak it in. We also honor the life and legacy of Dr. Ruth, a pioneer in the field of sex therapy and a woman that made us all more comfortable with talking about the bedroom. Keep it hot y'all!
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How can you know when you've united against the cycle? We've got you covered in this episode on the signs to look for and how to test for de-escalation. George and Laurie work through a role play and give an example conversation of what it sounds like when couples move from the you vs. me space to you and me vs. the cycle. We want to be on the lookout for seeing the cycle as a whole rather than a one off event, knowing your move and why and seeing how your move affects your partner. These three steps are the key to de-escalation and the ability to move into more vulnerability and deeper change in your relationship. You cannot miss this step if you want to achieve true, sustainable healing in your relationship. Not sure how to do this? Make sure you join George and Laurie for their virtual couples retreat on October 4th. If you're a couples therapist unsure how to incorporate the sexual cycle in your work, join us for an in-person training in Nashville in January. Head to our website for registration details. www.foreplayrst.com
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Foriawellness.com - get 20% off your first order! Try their Awaken and Arousal oil to enhance your experience in bed!
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We've worked in the last few episodes to name, externalize and unite against the emotional and sexual cycles that pit partners against one another. This episode is all couples finding common ground. On this common ground couples have more safety and are able to unlock empathy and deeply care about each other's pain. This is where true change and healing begins to take place. Each time partners encounter the cycle, they get better at naming it and coming back to the common ground space. Conversations become easier, less exhausting and more fulfilling because there is new experience of compassion, care and empathy available. Here we might let the pursuing partner know, "I understand where this protest is coming from. You make sense to me hear and I care about what you go through." We might signal to the withdrawing partner, "I understand how this makes you want to run and slowing down might make you feel safer." What might you want to say to your partner in this shared space? This school of love episode is bound to show partners that change is possible and how to keep working to create common ground together. Keep it hot, y'all!
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