Episodi
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It's the "Pen"-ultimate episode of Season 3, and Lady Whistledown's situation is more precarious than ever. Can Penelope convince Colin to become Lord Whistledown or must she accept her fate as "just a Bridgerton," which (let's be real, girl) is not the end of the world? Will Cressida send the whole house of cards toppling to the ground for a shot at a better life? Will the Mondriches snub yet ANOTHER invitation to tea in some weird, misguided power play -- Just kidding, we don't give a crap about them and we will not waste more than 90 seconds of your valuable time discussing them. It's all up for debate for at least one more week until we bring you the exciting (?) conclusion of Bridgerton: Season 3!
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Apologies, dear listeners, for the unexpected delay in bringing these latest episodes to you but we assure you that it was worth the wait! All hell is breaking loose in the world of Bridgerton as pressure is building on Lady Whistledown to reveal herself and we suddenly have not one but two couples ready to take that stroll down the aisle. If this show knows how to do anything correctly, it's how to make a goddamn mess out of anything that is going smoothly, so we're bracing ourselves for the needlessly dramatic conclusion sure to come.
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Episodi mancanti?
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We're halfway through the season and all of Colin and Penelope's building sexual tension finally comes to head...or should we say, a finger? (Or two.) It's zero to sixty from a diddle in the carriage to a ring on the finger, but who cares how we got there once we get there? With four episodes to go, we await the inevitable second act twist in which Lady Whistledown must reveal her secret. We're also looking forward to Cressida's potential redemption arc, Francesca and John exchanging perhaps four or five words at a time, and discovering what the beef is between Lady Danbury and her dashing brother Marcus. All this to come in our next installments of The Bridgerton Project! Stay with us! There's safety in numbers!
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Despite inflating our hopes last week with that steamy kiss, Mission Polination slows down this week to the pace of an escaping hot air balloon. And speaking of hot air, both Cressida and Penelope are full of it as they compete for Lord Debling's affections, and we get nothing but air from Francesca, who finds her soulmate in John Stirling and simply breathes in his presence for a few moments before excusing herself to go home early. Damn, this show is sexy.
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Things take a turn for the worse this week as Penelope is forced to out her own charm school scandal in Lady Whistledown and we discover that the Featherington sisters know even less about making babies than Daphne Bridgerton, which is...an accomplishment. But there's a sliver of hope for all you Polinators out there because our featured couple FINALLY does something besides air sharing and longing glances across a crowded room...
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Break out your antihistamines, gentle listeners, because it's Polin season on Bridgerton! We may have accidentally taken a drowsy formula because so far, Episode 1 has threatened to put us right to sleep. The only thing putting a pep in our step at this stage is Colin's inexplicable glow-up and Portia Featherington's determination to get buns in her daughters' ovens ASAP. Otherwise, we'll just be waiting here patiently for the whole Lady Whistledown situation to blow up in Penelope's face, though we won't be holding our breath...
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We made it to the finish line of what can only be described as both a marathon AND a sprint -- Fair listeners, we bring you the final installment of Bridgerton, Season 2, just in time for the drop of Season 3! We'll get you all caught up on Kate and Anthony (will they or won't they??), the most scandalous Featherington scam to date (trade rubies for palladium and it's basically a Hiram Lodge fanfiction), and is Lady Whistledown about to be unmasked?? Don't miss this final recap before we get ready to dive into the newest season of Bridgerton, which we will selflessly continue to cover for all you incomparable diamonds out there.
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Mamma mia, here we go again. A little deja vu to start the second season of Bridgerton, as we get introduced to several new characters whose names we will struggle to remember as well as a number of perfectly reasonable misunderstandings that will surely lead to heartbreak and drama in the second half. Still, if there's one thing we can say with absolute certainty at this point (something we never thought we'd say at this stage in Season 1), it's that Anthony Bridgerton must be protected at all costs, muttonchops or no muttonchops!
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And just like that, we are wrapping up Season 1 of Bridgerton, and let's just say, we had some THOUGHTS. Despite having just over 4 hours of show time, we are unsure of what we accomplished here in the second half of this first season besides a ton of parties, several man-child hissy fits, and a (possible) murder??? Oh, and we also found out who Lady Whistledown is, and if you want to know, too, you'll just have to listen and find out.
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Oh, god -- it's happening. We're doing it. That's right, people. It is finally time for us to sink our teeth into the Netflix sensation known as Bridgerton. Our ambitious goal is to get fully up to speed on the first two seasons by the time Season 3 premieres in May, so hold on to your feathered hats because here we go! In Part 1 of our series, we get into the Who's Who of this cast of MANY similar-looking characters and summarize the events of the first 4 episodes of Season 1. So, if you're new to Bridgerton or you're a devoted fan who needs a refresher before starting Season 3 next month, join us on this delightfully succinct, strictly need-to-know recap journey. xoxo the Ladies Whistledown
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If you're looking for a creative writing prompt, we recommend you watch The Strays and then write a novel to fill in all the blanks because this movie leaves quite a bit to the imagination. Perhaps if they had spent less time on itchy scalps, late-night Chinese food orders, and the most awkward game of Scrabble you've ever seen, we might be more satisfied with the story being told. But alas, here we are again...just scratching our heads.
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One of the best "How NOT To" guides we've ever seen on how to rob a millionaire, Shattered is going to teach you everything you don't want to do on your next Robin Hood-inspired adventure, starting with rule #1: Leave your stepfather OUT OF IT. And if you don't feel like watching the entire thing, just check out the two-minute trailer, which manages to spoil pretty much every plot twist that might have made this movie interesting...and then come listen to us fill you in on the rest (of which, there is not much).
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Should have called this movie The Lost Plot, because we sure as hell couldn't find it. The movie shamelessly teased us with the promise of an exciting plot twist or a dangerous encounter only to give us...a worm. And an appreciation for our own mothers, who could never even come close to the insanely selfish matriarchs featured in The Lost Daughter. What a snoozefest. Save yourself some time, and just listen to us tell you about it.
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Hop on board the crazy train with us this Easter and give this eggs-ellent movie a chance! What more do you need to celebrate the most solemn and holy high holiday of the Catholic religion than an elementary school bus massacre, a token pair of fake breasts (that bait you into thinking this might be a sexy movie -- it's not), and a mentally unstable man in a bunny suit with an unlimited arsenal of weapons? All of that has to be in the Bible somewhere. And if you like this movie, apparently it's the second movie in a trilogy, so good luck with the rest of them.
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We've said it before, we'll say it again: We are HERE for Lindsay Lohan's comeback. And while Irish Wish might have SOME flaws (i.e. confusing lore, total lack of chemistry between almost all of the characters, a criminally underutilized Jane Seymour, and corny rom-com tropes), Lindsay and her uber-charming opposite played by Ed Speleers save this film from being total garbage. Be careful what you wish for -- because regardless of what it is, St. Bridgette is gonna do whatever the hell she wants.
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Ahh, a movie that finally dares to posit the question...if most people are afraid of the dark, why not make the entire movie dark? Like, SO DARK that they can't even see the ACTUAL scary things that are going on. It's brilliant. It's bold. It's impossible to watch within a one-mile radius of a light source. So close your eyes and let us guide you through the poorly lit journey that is Polaroid, a movie about voodoo photography that never quite...develops into its full potential.
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Now that we're all nice and turned on by our sexy February line-up, we'd like to keep the spice levels high with a movie that features graphic snail sex and 45 seconds of Jacob Elordi. That's right. You're WELCOME. One of our favorites from the archives, Deep Water is a must-see and if you're not convinced, you will be by the end of this episode.
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Forget Valentine's Day -- Leap Year is obviously the sexiest, most romantic holiday of them all, and we have the movie to prove it. This film has it all: zero nudity, zero sex, and zero chemistry, plus enough tired rom com tropes you could choke to death on them. Even Dawn's "favorite" leading lady, Amy Adams, can't save this excruciating nothingburger from boring us to tears, so forgive us while we Irish goodbye the heck out of here.
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We're closing out our ~threesome~ of sexy February movies with the 1998 classic erotic thriller, Wild Things, only one of us found this movie erotic or thrilling (hint: it's Dawn). While we did not necessarily agree on whether or not this was a good movie worthy of praise, we definitely agreed on this: Bill Murray carried this whole film on his back (with a not-so-modest assist from Denise Richards' breasts). If you followed along with us on our ménage a trois of sexy picks this month, be sure to stick around to the end of this episode to hear which was our favorite! We'll see you in the Leap Year!
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If you were thinking about suggesting a threesome to your partner this Valentine's Day because you are sexually dissatisfied with your relationship and are unwilling to talk to them about it, THINK AGAIN. Just like having a baby to save a failing marriage, this is a BAD PLAN and if you don't want to take our word for it, watch Happy Ending. This dull and cringe-worthy slog of a movie is far worse than a mildly uncomfortable conversation with your partner, and you're much more likely to get an orgasm out of the latter. Happy Valentine's Day, y'all! And for the love of god, communicate with your partners!
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