Episodi

  • Knowing Your Mental Health Red Flags

    Knowing Your Mental Health Red Flags

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    We talk a lot about mental health these days which I’m so grateful for. It’s brilliant that we as a society are more aware of this topic and it’s no longer taboo to talk openly about things like anxiety and depression.

    While I believe these conversations are extremely valuable, we often place the focus on mental illness as opposed to mental health itself.

    I’d like to open the discussion on how to recognise the mental health red flags so we can catch ourselves and take action before we spiral downward.

    I recently had a conversation with my dear friend Mandy and we brainstormed the idea of implementing a traffic light system to identify our mental states. The green light represents everything going well, orange indicates that things are beginning to slip, and the red light signifies waving flags, urging immediate action.

    One resource I've turned to repeatedly is the Beyond Blue website. One page in particular offers a fantastic description of the mental health continuum, showing that mental health isn't black and white. Picture it as a timeline with stages ranging from healthy to crisis, allowing for a personalised understanding of your mental health journey.

    Green Light - Healthy: In this stage, we operate smoothly. We think clearly, feel capable, and maintain positive connections and routines.

    Orange Light - Unsettled: We might feel irritable or have trouble concentrating in this stage. The key is to acknowledge these feelings early, especially as we approach high-stress periods like the busy holiday season.

    Red Light - Struggling: When you’re in the red zone, emotions might include distress, hopelessness or brain fog. At this point, you might feel like you need professional support from a counsellor, psychologist, coach or trusted friend.

    Because we’re all different, your green, orange and red lights will look different to someone else. For me, being overly stressed or losing touch with my intuition is a sign that I’m in the orange zone. Spiraling negative thoughts, not wanting to take calls or go out at all indicate more severe struggles in the red zone.

    Creating lists of what helps during each phase is a proactive step you can take. Maybe going for a walk, calling a friend or taking a long bath are things that help draw you back to feeling yourself.

    Remember, there's no shame in asking for help. Vulnerability not only liberates you but also grants others permission to share their struggles too. You are worthy of feeling good and are a valuable part of our world.


    Beyond Blue Website

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  • Your Level Of Uncomfortable Matters

    Your Level Of Uncomfortable Matters

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    Moving away from the familiar is generally very uncomfortable.

    As someone who has experienced a lifetime of perfectionism and people pleasing, I know just how hard it is to let go of control and branch out into something beyond my comfort zone.

    But what if discomfort is actually the best thing for us?

    At the time of recording this, I found myself reflecting on the story of Australian man Nedd Brockmann, who embarked on what he called 'Nedd's Uncomfortable Challenge' and completed it. He ran an astounding 1,000 miles around Sydney Olympic Park, aiming to set a new record in 10 days.

    Although he completed it in 12 days, his determination and the $3 million + raised for charity speak volumes about the strength that comes with embracing discomfort. Witnessing this has made me ponder: how could someone put themselves through such pain and so many injuries when they didn’t have to? What's required to have that level of mental and physical toughness, and what was his why?

    It got me wondering about my own life and the ways in which I push myself (or fail) to get uncomfortable. And what it means to navigate our own discomforts, particularly as mothers?

    Today, we're exploring:

    - Bridging Discomfort and Motherhood
    - Understanding Our Discomforts
    - My Uncomfortable: Embracing a Slower Pace
    - Subtle Shifts and the Power of No
    - Crafting Our Unique Journeys

    Here’s the lesson I hope to impart: your uncomfortableness, however it manifests, is just as valid and transformative as running a thousand miles. It's unique to you. Whether it's scaling unprecedented heights or simply learning to be gentler on ourselves as parents, it’s crucial to embrace our journey authentically and with compassion.

    And perhaps, in doing so, we’ll find our own version of Nedd’s courage—a courage to face and champion our personal challenges with everything we’ve got.

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

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  • Let's Talk About The Midlife Unraveling

    Let's Talk About The Midlife Unraveling

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    I’ve been feeling different in the past few years. There has been one internal shift, big question and hard decision after another to contend with. I’m thinking more deeply about what I want to do with my life, and who I want to surround myself with.

    I’m referring to the midlife unravelling. Notice how I specifically didn’t use the term 'midlife crisis'? That’s because, for many of us, the experience of reaching our 40s and beyond is less about crisis and more about unravelling—a gentle peeling back of the layers we've built over the years.

    The term 'midlife crisis' often carries a negative connotation, suggesting disarray and upheaval. But what if we view it through a different lens? To me, the term 'unravelling' seems to better capture this phase—it's an inevitable shedding of old defences and identities that no longer serve us, and an invitation to step into our true selves.

    One of the gifts of these midlife years is the wisdom to recognise that we have a choice—we can rethink, redefine, and reimagine what our futures holds. Yes, it's an ongoing work in progress with no definite answers, but isn’t that liberating in its own way?

    Here's what I've settled on: I want to grow continuously and cherish each version of myself. This time isn't just about enduring change but embracing it with open arms and an open heart.

    So, if you're also navigating this midlife unravelling, remember, you're not alone. This evolution is an opportunity for transformation, and within it lies the potential for profound personal growth.

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

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  • Letting Go: Tips to Release What Holds You Back

    Letting Go: Tips to Release What Holds You Back

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    Sometimes, we prefer to stay in our suffering.

    The pain we’re familiar with can be a lot less scary than the unknown - which potentially comes with rejection, failure or even success (yes, that can be scary too!)

    This could be relationships, habits, friendships, old beliefs
 and sometimes they’re paralysing to let go of, even when we know in our hearts that we should.

    So how do we find the courage to release what holds us back? Today, I’m sharing with you five different tips that I came up with that will support you in the letting go journey and making changes you need to get into alignment with your true self.

    I’ll take you through how to:

    1. Use Past Evidence
    2. Follow Your Feelings and Intuition
    3. Get Clear on Your Desires
    4. Be Courageous
    5. Find Power in Letting Go

    Letting go is rarely instant. It’s a gradual process that might require revisiting over and over, especially with significant changes like ending a long-term relationship or changing careers. However, equipped with the right mindset and these tips, you can navigate through the process of letting go with grace and self-assurance.

    I understand that there's a big spectrum of things that you might be letting go of, but remember: trusting yourself and your inner knowing, even when it’s outside your comfort zone, will only lead to healing and growth.

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

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  • How to Make Time for Creativity

    How to Make Time for Creativity

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    A lot of us would never call ourselves creative.

    We think that if we can’t paint, write or draw, then we’re definitely not creative.

    That was me for many years. At a young age, I decided that because I was the academic one in the family and not good at art like my sister, I wasn’t and never would be creative.

    Thankfully, I no longer believe this lie. I now recognise the unique ways in which I create and that if I put myself in a box, I’ll miss out on all the wonderful experiences I could have.

    We are all innately creative beings, and there are no rules around what is creative and what is not. The beauty of creativity lies in its boundless nature; it's whatever we wish to manifest.

    If you’re struggling to recognise your own creativity or carve out time for self-expression, then this episode is for you.

    I ask you to consider what self expression looks like in your world. It doesn't have to be any of those things that are traditionally seen as ‘artistic’. It's any sort of thing that makes you feel good and more like you.

    And while I know time is precious and not always easy to find, I encourage you to prioritise your creativity as an important appointment. Limit distractions and give yourself permission to close the door and shut out the world for a moment. Or integrate creativity into your daily routines, whatever that looks like for you.

    Making time for creativity is not just about producing art; it’s about enhancing our lives, nurturing our souls and expressing who we truly are. Remember, your creative journey is unique to you, and there’s no right or wrong way to embark on it. Embrace your creativity and let it flourish.

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

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  • My Experience With Antidepressants

    My Experience With Antidepressants

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    Life comes with its fair share of ups and downs, but there are moments when the downs can feel overwhelming - insurmountable even.

    Personally, I’ve had a few episodes of poor mental health in my lifetime - patches of anxiety and depression that I’ve learnt how to manage. However, in 2022, I got to my lowest point with it, even experiencing symptoms of psychosis.

    When I first considered going on antidepressants during this time, it felt like a big, daunting step. And though I would encourage anyone else in my life to not feel shame, the idea of going on antidepressants still made me nervous.

    Today, I want to shine a light on this topic so that anyone feeling shame around taking medication can begin to shed that feeling and know they’re not alone.

    I’m sharing my personal experience with antidepressants, both while taking them and after deciding to come off the medication.

    While on antidepressants, I actually found that I could begin to reclaim parts of my life that had felt lost to depression. I had more energy, more clarity and slowly but surely, more hope.

    Yet, as effective as they were, I always knew that I didn’t want to be on medication forever if I could help it. After a period of stability and having learnt tools to manage my mental health, I decided to come off the antidepressants completely, without tapering the dose.

    It’s been intense: agitation, fatigue, difficulty sleeping - and a lot of crying. I’ve even gotten to the point of being unable to parent. Yet, I have hope. My research shows these are common symptoms, and I’m looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel.

    Of course, there are times I question myself: What if my symptoms return? What if I’m unable to cope?

    I may go back on them, and I know that’s totally okay. If you are currently on antidepressants, know that you are not alone. There’s no shame in taking medication, whether it’s for a short period or for the rest of your life. Each person’s experience with mental health is unique, and so too are the tools they use to navigate it.

    I hope that sharing my experience can offer some insight and comfort if you are struggling. I know that as we continue to support one another and share our stories, we can together dismantle the stigmas and shame surrounding mental health.

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

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  • Daring To Set Boundaries

    Daring To Set Boundaries

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    Do you ever feel like a doormat? You spend all day pouring out love, time and energy into meeting everyone else’s needs and by the end of the day, you feel like you’ve been walked all over.

    Your needs go unnoticed. Your needs don’t matter. It’s no wonder so many of us struggle with feelings of resentment and anger. A lot of the time, it all comes down to a matter of boundaries.

    For many women, boundaries is an uncomfortable topic but it’s also a really important one. A huge breakthrough for me in this area was learning that it's not just okay, but vitally important for my well-being to meet my own needs by putting boundaries in place.

    Boundaries are lines we draw to protect ourselves and our children, ensuring our physical, emotional, and mental safety. They are meant to protect your time, energy, and what you give away and you are worthy of them. Your worth is inherent and you don't need to prove your worth to anyone. A boundary ensures your needs are met because unmet needs can have serious ramifications.

    Physical and Emotional Boundaries

    There are physical boundaries we can put in place, but there are also emotional ones that protect us. If you feel like you’re getting beyond your window of tolerance, setting a boundary will help you feel safe and regulate your nervous system.

    Your boundaries don’t require anyone’s sign-off. Other people may not understand and it may even challenge them, but you can't take care of someone else's feelings while setting your boundaries.

    People-Pleasing and Perfectionism

    It can feel uncomfortable to set boundaries, especially for people pleasers or perfectionists. Brene Brown says, "Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others." The point of a boundary is to take care of yourself.

    Boundaries require practice; they are not walls and they can change. It's about deepening your awareness of what feels good in the moment and continually reevaluating.

    Boundaries with your partner: Let’s say your partner wants to discuss business right when you're about to go to bed. You’re tired and not in the right frame of mind. A good boundary could be, "Darling, I know this is important, but can we discuss it in the morning when I'm more alert?"

    Boundaries with your children: Kids love to push boundaries and it’s your prerogative to keep those boundaries firm or to be flexible. Whether you choose to stay firm on your boundaries, or go against them, make this a conscious choice.

    Boundaries for personal time: Simple things like going to the toilet or taking a shower in peace can be crucial boundaries. Your personal space is important and setting clear boundaries will not only help you, but also model this to your children too.

    Start noticing as you go about your day what you need and when you start to feel pushed beyond your limits. Understanding these sensations will help you recognise when a boundary is necessary.

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

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  • How And Why I Gave Up Wine O'Clock

    How And Why I Gave Up Wine O'Clock

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    I’m tackling a bit of a sensitive topic today and if you’re currently relying on that nightly glass (or two) of wine to unwind after a long, stressful day, it may even hit a raw nerve to hear me talk about why, and how, I gave up wine o’clock.

    In Australia, we have such an alcohol fueled culture, which makes it harder to recognise the dangers of wine o'clock in mummy wine culture. It’s become normal to reach for a drink to cope, relax, escape, celebrate, socialise, drown your sorrows, and every other reason we find.

    Sure, wine relaxed me in the short term, but drinking also came with a lot of guilt, poor sleep, and a bunch of other negative effects - hello hangover! And when stress showed up in my life, more alcohol did too.

    So on Christmas morning of 2021, I decided enough was enough and I was going to stop drinking for 12 months, maybe longer. I'd been longing for the courage to decide for almost two years but before then, I didn’t believe I could completely give up. That morning, I felt immense relief and pride in myself that I had drawn the line in the sand.

    Initially, I thought giving up alcohol would be all about willpower and making the conscious decision to stop. But while willpower played a role, I quickly realised that for lasting change, I needed to go deeper.

    Going Beyond Willpower to Subconscious Beliefs

    In August 2021, I started the alcohol experiment conducted by This Naked Mind to explore my relationship with alcohol. A light bulb moment came on day one of the experiment when I reflected on the question, “Why do I drink?”.

    You see, you can use your thoughts and willpower to change your habits. But, this approach only scratches the surface. The real transformation begins when you uncover those deeply ingrained ideas that drive your behaviours. For me, there was a subconscious belief that alcohol was essential for relaxation and coping with stress, a belief that had to be reprogrammed.

    When the subconscious and the conscious minds agree, willpower is no longer needed because you're no longer fighting against yourself. After doing the alcohol experiment, I realised that I didn’t even want to drink. My body didn’t like it, my mind didn’t like it and the benefits of being sober far outweighed the challenges.

    Giving up wine o'clock wasn't easy, but it was one of the best decisions I've made for myself and my family. It allowed me to find new ways to love and care for myself, without the crutch of alcohol. If you're feeling stuck in a similar cycle, know that change is possible. You can rewire those subconscious beliefs and find healthier ways to cope with the beautiful chaos of motherhood.

    https://www.soberinthecountry.org/

    Watch my video story in Sober in the Country's Amplification Project here

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

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  • Can I Really Do This? Navigating The Mother Load

    Can I Really Do This? Navigating The Mother Load

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    A question most mothers will ask themselves at one point or another is, "Can I really do this?" Balancing motherhood, work, personal growth, and other responsibilities can feel overwhelming, so today I want to share some strategies that have helped me navigate a challenging few months.

    I recently went through 9 weeks of solo parenting while my husband was away, during which time I also had multiple gallbladder attacks, underwent surgery, and dealt with ongoing health issues with our children. Everything started piling up and it started to wear me down.

    Signs of Reaching the Limit
    Stress manifests in many ways—irritability, frustration, and heightened anxiety, to name a few. When I noticed these signs, in particular the feeling of resentment, appearing more frequently, I knew something needed to change. I was short-tempered, and my mental health was slipping because I wasn't making enough time for self-care.

    Around three or four weeks ago, I hit a wall but it seemed that the only solution was to push through. During this time, the resentment and bitterness that I was feeling indicated to me that I was out of alignment.

    Setting Boundaries
    One of the first things I had to work on was setting better boundaries, especially during times when I was solo parenting and didn't have space away from the kids. I've worked hard to establish simple but effective boundaries like not being disturbed when I'm in the shower or on the toilet!

    It's important to be brave enough to enforce boundaries, even if they seem trivial. For instance, I've told my children that my office and bedroom are off-limits for their playtime because I need these spaces to function effectively and peacefully.

    Shared Responsibility
    Resentment often comes from feeling that you're carrying too much of a load. This could be physical tasks, but it can also be the mental and emotional load of feeling responsible for everything.

    I’m so grateful to have been recommended the Fair Play method by Eve Rodsky, which involves dividing household responsibilities more equitably. We went through the cards together to decide who takes responsibility for various tasks and it helped us gain clarity, understand each other and distribute the load more fairly.

    Balancing Work and Motherhood
    Lastly, I had to address my capacity for work. Like many mothers, I love my children more than anything, but my work also brings me joy and a sense of purpose. However, it's challenging to find the right balance. I've learned that I need to be realistic about how much work I can handle without compromising my well-being and ability to be a present, happy mother. Remember, it’s crucial to find joy and fulfilment in both your personal and professional roles.

    What thoughts and feelings do you experience when you’re out of alignment?

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

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  • Motherhood and Identity

    Motherhood and Identity

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    Motherhood is a profound experience that brings about countless changes. For many women, it comes with a huge identity shift, sometimes even an identity crisis. Before having children, you might have felt like a confident, capable individual with a strong sense of self - but the transition into motherhood can come as quite a shock. A lot of women feel out of control, overwhelmed, isolated and like they no longer have a sense of self.

    In 2018, I hit a wall—an experience I term as "falling into the black hole." I felt lost, my confidence shattered, and my identity blurred. Transitioning from an ambitious career woman to a mother gave me so much joy, but it was also incredibly challenging. I was left grappling with the question— "Who am I now?"

    Who Are You Really?

    Motherhood not only alters your routines but also your inner world and this transformation involves meeting and embracing a new version of yourself. The truth is, the roles we identify with—wife, mother, daughter, colleague, friend —don’t define us.

    You are not just the roles you play or the titles you bear. You are not merely your thoughts, physical body, feelings, behaviour, or career. When you strip all of those things away, you are a soul—a spiritual entity living a human experience.

    Navigating the Enormous Changes

    Nikki McCahon, a leader in matrescence education, writes about the various changes women go through when entering motherhood. It’s not just a matter of things changing physically. In various ways, we all experience an upheaval in our psychological, relational, spiritual, cultural, career, economic, and political lives. It's no surprise that amidst all these changes, you might feel lost, questioning what you’re doing wrong. But know that these changes are part of an immense, transformative process and you are not alone.

    Reflect and Reconnect to Your True Self

    If you’re struggling with your sense of identity in motherhood, ask yourself these questions:

    When do I feel like me?

    What do I love?

    What am I good at?

    What comes naturally to me?

    Even amidst the chaos of motherhood, take a few minutes to journal or reflect on these questions. Remember, you are worthy and valuable simply because you are you. Your worthiness is never in question, even if your confidence wavers.

    Connecting with yourself at a soul level, away from labels and titles, is vital. Recognise the need to update your self-image to reflect who you are now, not who you were before having children. Allow yourself to explore and remember who you truly are underneath the daily roles and responsibilities.

    If you feel the need for support, consider seeking guidance from someone external to help navigate your way through these changes. Establishing a new direction and understanding your true self can be profoundly empowering. And above all, know that even in those dark moments, you have the innate capacity to reconnect with your essence and embrace this evolved version of yourself.

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

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  • Why Your Words Matter + Motherhood Affirmations

    Why Your Words Matter + Motherhood Affirmations

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    Words are not just sounds; they are vibrations that shape our entire world. Believe it or not, the stories you tell yourself are ruling your life and these stories can either empower you or hold you back. The choice is completely up to you.

    We all have those repetitive stories - the ones embedded in our minds from past experiences, conditioning, and the environments we grew up in. These narratives feel so true because they've been echoed in our minds for years.

    But when was the last time you took a step back to observe those stories? Take a moment to reflect on which stories are true and which you should discard. Remember, you are the author of your life. Your story can always be edited.

    Listen to Your Inner Dialogue

    Often, our internal stories affirm our negative beliefs. Have you noticed how one negative thought can spiral into many more? Whatever we focus on, we move toward.

    Start by noticing your inner dialogue. Observe the thoughts that pop into your mind and the words you say out loud. Are these thoughts serving you or holding you back?

    Take note of patterns when you hear yourself being self-critical or when you use words that are self-limiting. By catching these moments, you can begin to rewrite them. For example, instead of saying, "I can't do this," shift your language to, "I'm learning and getting better at this."

    It’s not about being fake or succumbing to toxic positivity. It’s about becoming aware of your inner dialogue and catching yourself when you set limiting boundaries for yourself. It’s about noticing your thoughts and recognising that they are just stories. Thoughts aren’t always the truth.


    Re-frame Stories Through Affirmations

    I use affirmations every day to reframe my thoughts, especially when I’m feeling more vulnerable. For me, I know that when I’m tired or sick or when my family is sick, the catastrophising goes downhill quite quickly, so using affirmations is a powerful way to bring my thoughts back into alignment. Here are some of my favourites:

    I always have time for what’s important to me.

    Everything is working out for me.

    Life is happening for me, not to me.

    There's always tomorrow.

    Speaking out these affirmations helps foster a more positive internal dialogue and almost instantly changes the way I feel in my body. Again, it’s not about ignoring how you feel, it’s about choosing to re-frame the story in a more empowering way.

    I’ve seen these principles at work in my own life and in the lives of those I coach. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, instead of saying, "I’m so busy," try saying "I'm managing my time well, and I’m in control.” This subtle shift in language can drastically alter how you feel and how you approach your day.

    Be Kind to Yourself

    As you go through this process, be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s about making consistent, small adjustments. Observing your thoughts without judgment will create a more compassionate inner environment.

    Every day is a new opport

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

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  • 43rd Birthday: Reflecting On The Last Year

    43rd Birthday: Reflecting On The Last Year

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    As I celebrate my 43rd birthday, I find myself reflecting on the journey of the past year. It’s been a period filled with growth, challenges, and ultimately, a great deal of personal development.

    From Farm to Town Life

    One of the most significant changes in the past year has been our move from the farm to town life in Goondiwindi. For almost a decade, our family lived on a farm near Moonie, engaged in a agricultural business we ran with my parents and family. However, in 2023, we made the challenging decision to relocate to town during the school terms, and then full time in town in 2024.

    The Freedom and Challenges of Town Life

    I’ve greatly enjoyed being able to grab a coffee in town, an indulgence that seemed so simple yet luxurious. It’s the little things you notice the most.

    Working with a personal trainer has been another highlight. What started as a weight-loss journey evolved into something much more profound, impacting my physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

    While town life has its perks, it also brought its own set of challenges. Adjusting to the separation from the farm was tough. My connection to the land runs deep, and leaving behind what we thought would be our forever home was heart-wrenching.

    Growing Through Personal Challenges

    My personal journey over the past year has been marked by several health challenges, including a knee injury that required multiple surgeries. This taught me patience and the importance of prioritising my well-being. It also made me realise the significance of daily movement and a balanced lifestyle for my mental health.

    Solo parenting has been yet another hurdle. With Adam at the farm during the week, I have been in charge of parenting the boys and being there for all the after school activities.

    I’ve realised that I’m easily overstimulated, especially from the chaos when my boys come home from school. Discovering that I'm a highly sensitive person has helped me understand why I become easily overstimulated and what steps I need to take to manage it.

    Support Systems and Personal Growth

    Reaching out for help has been crucial. Whether it’s hiring a cleaner or having someone assist with house chores, these supports have been invaluable. They have allowed me to focus on my children and my personal growth without feeling overwhelmed by daily tasks.

    Additionally, mentors and health practitioners have played essential roles in my journey. Focusing on foundational aspects like sleep, hydration, nutrition, and mental health has been life-changing.

    Embracing Creativity and the Big Picture

    This year, I’ve also made space for my creative side, whether it’s through singing or simply going for a walk and allowing my mind to wander. These activities nourish my soul.

    Reflecting on this past year, I’m filled with gratitude for the journey and the lessons learned. Each challenge has been a stepping stone to deeper self-awareness and growth. As I step into another year of my life, I carry with me the understand

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

    Let’s meet: Book a discovery call with me

    Subscribe: Join my mailing list

    Website: http://www.benitabensch.com

    Freebie: Affirmation Email Series

    Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/benitabensch

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  • Writing Your Own Rules of Motherhood

    Writing Your Own Rules of Motherhood

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    What does it mean to be the “perfect” mother?

    And is this a standard that we should even remotely be trying to live up to?

    For some background, listen to episode 26 where I chat with Dr. Sophie Brock, a mentor of mine who specialises in this area and with whom I completed my Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification. She has a fantastic podcast called "The Good Enough Mother" that you should definitely check out.

    Firstly, let's acknowledge the pressure. Social media, movies, even our own upbringings bombard us with unrealistic expectations of what motherhood should look like. This constant comparison can be a recipe for guilt, shame, and exhaustion.

    Professor Andrea O'Reilly outlines eight societal rules of perfect motherhood that contribute to this myth. These include the idea that mothers must be the sole caregivers, available 24/7, prioritise their children's needs above all else, and constantly strive for perfection. It's an impossible standard!

    Here's the liberating truth: there is no such thing as a perfect mother. Dr. Sophie Brock shares that internalising these pressures can lead to significant stress, anxiety, and depression.

    The good news is, we can rewrite the rules!

    Here's how to get started:

    Identify your triggers. Notice when you feel that familiar guilt or shame. Is it mealtimes? Screen time? Make a note of these situations.Challenge your thoughts. These triggers are clues that you're holding yourself to an unrealistic standard.Rewrite your rule. For each trigger, write down a new rule that reflects your values and priorities as a mother. For example, "I am a good enough mother when I get healthy food on the table most nights, not every night."Embrace "good enough." Remember, your worth is not defined by your mothering. You are inherently good enough.

    This journey of rewriting the rules is empowering. It allows you to create a motherhood experience that works for you and your family.

    Remember, you are strong, capable, and enough exactly as you are.


    Links:
    Episode 26 with Dr Sophie Brock

    The Good Enough Mother Podcast

    Amy Taylor-Kabbaz

    Nikki McCahon

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

    Let’s meet: Book a discovery call with me

    Subscribe: Join my mailing list

    Website: http://www.benitabensch.com

    Freebie: Affirmation Email Series

    Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/benitabensch

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/benitabensch

  • Managing Your Mind When Sickness Invades Your Home

    Managing Your Mind When Sickness Invades Your Home

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    Being a mum is amazing, but let's be honest, it's also very hard work! And when sickness hits your house, it can feel like everything explodes into chaos. I know for me personally, I find not only my physical health deteriorates if I’m unwell, but my mental health really takes a dive.

    So I thought it may be helpful to share some strategies that I have to help improve your mindset when those germs come knocking.

    What I’ve found to be powerful: shift your focus. Our thoughts are powerful things. Instead of stewing about how ill you feel, find some gratitude. Maybe you're grateful your kids are finally sleeping through the night (even if it's because they're knocked out by a cold). Think positive thoughts! Imagine yourself getting healthier with every sunrise.

    Feeling like you're gonna lose it?

    Take a deep breath! Deep breathing is amazing for calming your nerves and reminding you that this too shall pass. You’re not in any immediate threat and you are safe. Getting some sunshine and fresh air works wonders too.

    Need a little mood boost?

    Turn on some happy music, listen to a guided meditation, or find some funny videos online. Anything that makes you smile is a win.

    The bottom line is this: you're not alone. Every mum faces these battles. By using these simple tips, you can weather the storm of sickness and come out the other side feeling calmer and more positive.

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

    Let’s meet: Book a discovery call with me

    Subscribe: Join my mailing list

    Website: http://www.benitabensch.com

    Freebie: Affirmation Email Series

    Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/benitabensch

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/benitabensch

  • What Singing Lessons Have Taught Me About Taking Up Space

    What Singing Lessons Have Taught Me About Taking Up Space

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    As a Mum of four, coach and multiple business owner, I spend most of my days listening, nurturing, and getting things done. There's not always a lot of room for, well, me.

    This year, I decided to change that. I started thinking about what I could do as a hobby that was purely for myself. It didn’t have to be connected to any particular career aspirations or life goals, it just had to feel like it was just for me.

    The more I thought about it, I decided singing lessons would be something I’d like to try, although the thought of it made my palms sweaty. But I was determined to step out of my comfort zone and discover more about myself as a person.

    I’d always enjoyed singing as a young girl (didn’t we all dance and sing into the hairbrush as a teen?) and I signed up for singing lessons with the amazing Jayden who is seriously the most encouraging human ever.

    Let me tell you, those first few lessons were rough. My inner critic was having a field day – who did I think I was, belting out tunes in a room, even if it was a soundproof shed. But Jayden kept pushing me to "take up space," to embrace the sound of my own voice, wobbly notes and all.

    And guess what? It's been incredible.

    Singing lessons have become more than just learning proper technique and focusing on my breathing. They've become a way to reconnect with my playful side, to let go of control and just have fun making weird noises (yes, weird noises are part of the curriculum).

    More importantly, it's shown my kids a different side of me. They see me learning something new, embracing challenges, and maybe even butchering a song or two. I’m not attached to the outcome and I know practice is progress. They’re learning that too. It's a powerful message – that it's okay to pursue your passions, no matter your age or skill level.

    This weekend, I'm even doing a performance with Jayden's other students! Nervous? Absolutely. But also excited to step outside my comfort zone and, well, take up some space.

    So, I pose a challenge to you: how are you taking up space in your life? Are there dreams you've put on hold?

    Maybe it's time to dust them off and give them a go. You might be surprised at what you discover about yourself.

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

    Let’s meet: Book a discovery call with me

    Subscribe: Join my mailing list

    Website: http://www.benitabensch.com

    Freebie: Affirmation Email Series

    Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/benitabensch

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  • Taking A Podcasting Break And Why

    Taking A Podcasting Break And Why

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    “Is this decision serving me to my greater good?”

    This is one of the questions I want to leave you with as I take a break from this podcast.

    I have found making the decision to put the podcast, and other parts of my business on hold to be incredibly difficult, and I understand that readjusting your priorities can be hard, but you are important and your health is important.

    Adam and I are off to forge our own path in our farming business and as we make plans and decide what that will look like for us and our family I want to be there for all of it by having the headspace and capacity to be fully present, and to be emotionally available for my family.

    My deepest gratitude and heartfelt thanks to you for tuning into ME + MOTHERHOOD over this year and for joining in on the conversations.

    Benita x



    Be kind to yourself as you listen to this. If this, or any, ME + MOTHERHOOD podcast episode ‘triggers you’ or raise issues for you, I urge you to reach out and speak to a professional on any one of these related support lines:

    Lifeline: 13 11 14Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467Blue Knot Helpline: 1300 657 380PANDA National Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Helpline: 1300 726 306

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

    Let’s meet: Book a discovery call with me

    Subscribe: Join my mailing list

    Website: http://www.benitabensch.com

    Freebie: Affirmation Email Series

    Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/benitabensch

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/benitabensch

  • Dr Sophie Brock On The Perfect Mother Myth And Social Construct Of Motherhood

    Dr Sophie Brock On The Perfect Mother Myth And Social Construct Of Motherhood

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    Dr Sophie Brock is a motherhood studies sociologist and mother living in Sydney, Australia. She provides analysis of motherhood in our culture and the ways individual experiences of mothers are shaped by broader social constructs.

    Sophie's work contributes to changing the cultural conversation on motherhood and the individual experiences of mothers to create a world where mothers feel empowered, supported and valued.

    In this episode we cover:

    Dr Sophie’s Fish Tank of Motherhood analogy for understanding social constructThe power of rewriting the narrative around motherhood, shifting from victimhood to agency and the concept of the “good enough mother”The impact of societal constructs and culture on experiences of motherhood and the need for questioning of societal norms and expectationsThe “perfect mother myth” and addressing anger, understanding triggers and finding productive ways to respond

    As you navigate your own motherhood journey and the challenges of being a mum, it’s crucial to remember that you are not alone. Together, we can debunk harmful narratives, validate our experiences and work towards a society where mothers feel supported and valued.

    The wisdom and practical experience that Dr Sophie shares in this episode is going to be incredibly impactful on your motherhood journey

    Benita x



    Connect with Dr Sophie Brock:

    The 'Fish-Tank' of Motherhood Model

    The Good Enough Mother Podcast



    Be kind to yourself as you listen to this. If this, or any, ME + MOTHERHOOD podcast episode ‘triggers you’ or raise issues for you, I urge you to reach out and speak to a professional on any one of these related support lines:

    Lifeline: 13 11 14Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467Blue Knot Helpline: 1300 657 380PANDA National Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Helpline: 1300 726 306

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

    Let’s meet: Book a discovery call with me

    Subscribe: Join my mailing list

    Website: http://www.benitabensch.com

    Freebie: Affirmation Email Series

    Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/benitabensch

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/benitabensch

  • My Motherhood Story: Steph Schmidt

    My Motherhood Story: Steph Schmidt

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    “Our challenges now will be their strengths in the future” shares Steph Schmidt on navigating her motherhood journey.

    Steph is a psychologist working in farmer mental health and grassroots and community based strategies. She is also a mother to 3 boys and alongside her husband runs a sheep and cropping farm in South Australia.

    Steph openly admits that she has found motherhood to be the hardest thing she has ever done, and has navigated raising 3 sparkler boys on a busy farm whilst battling postnatal depression.

    In this episode we cover:

    Navigating the ups and downs of motherhood and embracing the different seasons that come with itThe challenges and joys Steph has experienced balancing farmwork, solo parenting and prioritising what is most important in lifeEmbracing authenticity while sharing personal experiences and respecting the privacy of othersWhat Steph knows about motherhood now that she wishes she knew back at the beginning of her journeySteph’s experience with postnatal depression

    Steph is incredibly open and honest about the challenges and joys that she has faced on her motherhood journey so far and I know that you will take so much of her wisdom with you.

    Benita x



    Connect with Steph’s Story: https://www.gidgetfoundation.org.au/stories/stephanie-schmidts-story




    Be kind to yourself as you listen to this. If this, or any, ME + MOTHERHOOD podcast episode ‘triggers you’ or raise issues for you, I urge you to reach out and speak to a professional on any one of these related support lines:

    Lifeline: 13 11 14Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467Blue Knot Helpline: 1300 657 380PANDA National Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Helpline: 1300 726 306

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

    Let’s meet: Book a discovery call with me

    Subscribe: Join my mailing list

    Website: http://www.benitabensch.com

    Freebie: Affirmation Email Series

    Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/benitabensch

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/benitabensch

  • Your Two Most Powerful Words

    Your Two Most Powerful Words

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    “I am”

    Have you ever thought about the power and potency of these words?

    What we impress on our subconscious mind is what comes to reality for us.

    The power that words hold for us can easily be overlooked or thrown to the side, and in the last 18 months I have become aware that since I was a teenager I have been managing a tendency towards anxiety and made the conscious decision to never say “I am anxious”.

    Why?

    Because when I say those words, I feel my heart skip a beat and the anxiety within me.

    This is a short episode to help you understand the importance of these two powerful words and how you can use everyday language to empower yourself and be the person you want to be.

    Benita x



    Be kind to yourself as you listen to this. If this, or any, ME + MOTHERHOOD podcast episode ‘triggers you’ or raise issues for you, I urge you to reach out and speak to a professional on any one of these related support lines:

    Lifeline: 13 11 14Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467Blue Knot Helpline: 1300 657 380PANDA National Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Helpline: 1300 726 306

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

    Let’s meet: Book a discovery call with me

    Subscribe: Join my mailing list

    Website: http://www.benitabensch.com

    Freebie: Affirmation Email Series

    Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/benitabensch

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/benitabensch

  • Sunny Roberts On How To Keep Your Relationship Alive Post-Kids

    Sunny Roberts On How To Keep Your Relationship Alive Post-Kids

    · ME + MOTHERHOOD with Benita Bensch

    Sunny Roberts is deeply passionate about helping women return to their feminine energy. Born and raised in Germany and working in a corporate career she spent her 20s operating in masculine push mode and burnt out at 28 which led her to become a yoga and mindfulness teacher.

    Becoming a mum of two boys she found herself struggling in her own marriage of 7 years and was ready to give up when she discovered that embracing her feminine energy was the key to lasting connection and love in her relationship.

    Today she is on a mission to help other women have the same awakening. Sunny deeply believes that every woman deserves to feel loved and cherished in her relationship. What separates Sunny from others in this space is that she actually lives what she talks about.

    In this episode we cover:

    Navigating the challenges of parenthood and maintaining a healthy relationship amidst the chaos.How Sunny rediscovered and embraced her femininity as a means of improving personal satisfaction and relationship dynamics.The importance of prioritising your time and effort in nurturing the relationship between partners as parents.Seeking help and support from professionals to facilitate important conversations and navigate relationship difficulties.The transformative journey of self-discovery and identity redefinition in the context of motherhood and partnership.

    This is a beautiful conversation focused around the stages of relationships and challenges faced by parents and how you can navigate through these seasons.

    I know you will love getting to know Sunny and our conversation.

    Benita x

    Connect with Sunny:

    Instagram: @wholehearted.woman

    Join the Wholehearted Woman Facebook Community



    Be kind to yourself as you listen to this. If this, or any, ME + MOTHERHOOD podcast episode ‘triggers you’ or raise issues for you, I urge you to reach out and speak to a professional on any one of these related support lines:

    Lifeline: 13 11 14Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467Blue Knot Helpline: 1300 657 380PANDA National Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Helpline: 1300 726 306

    Find free printable affirmations and affirmation phone wallpaper graphics from RESOURCES at www.benitabensch.com

    Let’s meet: Book a discovery call with me

    Subscribe: Join my mailing list

    Website: http://www.benitabensch.com

    Freebie: Affirmation Email Series

    Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/benitabensch

    Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/benitabensch

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