Episodi
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Are you a people pleaser? Maybe you’ve seen its impact on leadership or experienced first-hand how people pleasers can be drawn to toxic relationships. Are people pleasers really happy anyway?
Pleasing others isn’t always a bad thing, but when it becomes such a significant part of your personality, it can trigger anxiety and bring its associated trauma. So what happens when you stop that people-pleasing behaviour?
In this episode, we meet comedian, author, educator and broadcaster, Nelly Thomas, who helps us realise the value of reaching the zero ducks stage. And you know we’re not talking about ducks, autocorrect!
Nelly’s story is one of backing ourselves as she tells us, up front, about her mental health journey and how she has learned to value herself in the face of the outside world’s demands. Because once we take responsibility for looking after ourselves, those unreasonable demands just become white noise.
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We think they’re worth their weight in gold, but as we always say, don’t just take our word for it! Mentoring is on the minds of lots of Google searchers with questions like “who mentored Gordon Ramsay, “who mentored Justin Bieber,” and even “who mentored Jesus?”
We don’t have the answers to any of those questions by as your trusty guides in this mental health story called Reframe Of Mind we (Louise and Andy) were really keen to find out how mentors can make a difference and how a mentorship can help you. As we push ahead building our own little empire with Welcome Change Media, we were especially interested to find out how mentors help to create success with startup businesses like our own.
This episode’s guests include Indiginerd founder, Cienan Muir, female economy expert, Jacinta Carboon and 2021 NSW Young Australian of the Year, Nathan Parker, amongst others. Each guest has their own relationship to mentoring and being mentored and perfectly illustrate why mentoring is important not only in leadership, but in the workplace in general.
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Of all the types of storytelling surrounding us, Indigenous storytelling, through its oral storytelling origins, has endured on this continent for over sixty thousand years. As traditional stories and knowledge has been passed down from generation to generation, Indigenous peoples have increasingly adapted as new formats become available.
Yorta Yorta/Ngarrindjeri man, Cienan Muir is on the leading edge of Indigenous storytelling, using gaming and pop culture as methods to tell traditional stories and engage young Indigenous people. As founder of Indiginerd, a space to celebrate Indigenous creativity, he launched Indigicon as a platform for Indigenous people to come together and share their stories.
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Change can be triggering in a lot of ways. Whether you’ve made a commitment to change or it came out of the blue, there are things along the way that can jump up to surprise us, or we’ve been happily avoiding. Sometimes we adapt, knowing what was can never be again.
Louise and Andy tread through the minefield of grief and major change in this episode and both have a little cry along the way, because adapting to change can be just as difficult as deciding to step into something new.
If you’ve ever told yourself the tarot reader wasn’t that good because they told you something you didn’t want to hear, or had that unsteady “what now?” feeling when your world was turned upside down it might be time to unlearn a few things and draw on your strengths to adapt and settle into the, dare we say it, “new normal”.
Wisdom in this episode, exploring the psychology of adapting to change, comes courtesy of Associate Professor Kimberley Norris Associate Head of Learning and Teaching in Psychology at the University of Tasmania; Australia’s Dr Happy Tim Sharp, founder of The Happiness Institute; Diversity trans re-lator, speaker, educator and coach, Sally Goldner AM; bestselling small business author, entrepreneur and global presenter, Andrew Griffiths; Professor Alex Maritz from La Trobe Business School, New Zealand Endurance Athlete and Longevity Coach Lisa Tamati and behavioural consultant and Director of Positive Minds Australia Madhavi Nawana-Parker.
With so many strong voices around them, Andy and Louise invite you to join them as they work through the tears and continue their healing journey.
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How’s your support network?
Surrounding ourselves with the right people could mean the difference between feeling affirmed and inspired or feeling like you can’t do anything right.
Imagine if a sports coach told their team they were trash when they needed to get more goals out of them instead of building them up with positive reinforcement. They probably wouldn’t be winning any comps any time soon.
A good team brings out the best in everyone and it doesn’t only apply to sport. A good team uses everyone’s strengths for the common good, and a good leader will recognise this and nurture those strengths.
Someone who made this happen in a big way is Lisa Alexander, former Diamonds head coach for Netball Australia.
If you’re looking for an example of a healthy, supportive, high performance culture, look no further than the era in Australian netball that saw a Commonwealth Games victory, world championship wins and a stack of other victories over Lisa’s nine-year coaching stint. The Australian Diamonds were ranked number one in the world at the time she departed as head coach.
There’s a reason why Lisa was named 2015 coach of the year, and in this episode, Andy and Louise chat with Lisa not only about why it’s so important to have good people around you, but what that looks like in the real world.
Lisa Alexander is currently head of high performance and assistant coach for the London Pulse.
For more resources and show notes please visit www.reframeofmind.com.au
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Nobody is immune from big emotions, and if we’re feeling depressed or anxious, it can feel like those big feelings are only feeding our low mood.
But what about grief? That’s a whole other beast that not only exposes us to big, raw feelings, but can also lead to significant changes in behaviour as anger and stress leads to conflict and, in some cases, for relationships to break down altogether.
So how do we deal with these big emotions as we’re coping with loss. Even if these big emotions aren’t related to bereavement, is there a better way to manage or control our emotions, and is controlling our emotions actually what we need?
What if there was a way to embrace our big emotions and give ourselves the chance to understand what they are and why we feel them so we can process them way before their bottled-up energy explodes?
In this episode of Reframe of Mind, Director of Positive Minds Australia, Madhavi Nawana-Parker explores emotional intelligence, or EQ, and helps us to heal our inner child, rebuilding our emotional foundations, unlearning the patterns or our generation, and those who went before us. Louise and Andy share their personal stories of dealing with big emotions, too, with their own experiences of grief (spoiler: their experiences are just as messy as anybody else’s!)
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Everything happens for a reason. That’s what toxic positivity will tell you, and it’s the reason we’ve not only been focused on dismantling toxic positivity throughout the series so far, but thought we’d dedicate a whole episode to it! It did, after all, take out the Angsty awards in episode one.
So, what is considered toxic positivity? At best, it’s misplaced optimism, at worst it’s the dismissive statements that minimise or ignore a person’s experience. Would you be able to pick the signs when you see or hear it, and can you identify what is more useful instead? Because at the other end of the scale, optimism is something that IS useful, if we can wade out of the toxic positivity.
In this episode, Andy and Louise talk to Australia’s Dr Happy, Dr Tim Sharp, from the Happiness Institute, who explores the concept of positive psychology, without the toxic bits, as well as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) expert, Dr Lisa Saulsman from the University of Western Australia, who unpacks some useful approaches to help us not only sit with our uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, but to find a way out of rumination and into action.
Other guests include Chronic Illness Wellness Coach and person living with MS, Teisha Rose; author and CEO consultant, Lucy Bloom; and Director of The Matilda Centre for Research in Mental Health and Substance Use, Professor Maree Teesson, who each share their personal experience dealing with Toxic positivity and opting for optimism instead.
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Change your behaviour, change your brain.
Sometimes it feels like our troubleshooting mind gets out of control and before long, we’re down a rabbit hole of limitation, stuck in a storm of thoughts and feelings, unable to think our way out of the maze. But what if instead of trying to change our thoughts first, we changed the behaviour instead? Supported by the robust principles of neuroscience to kick start our the pathways to change.
We could dare to lean into possibilities, instead of limitations.
Take stroke for example. It’s not that long ago that people believed recovery of lost sensation wasn’t possible, and we were focused on compensation rather than rehabilitation.
But recovery IS possible, and in this episode of Reframe of Mind, Louise and Andy bring together two guests that have personal experiences with stroke rehabilitation and recovery.
New Zealand, ultra marathon runner Lisa Tamati, has first hand experience helping her mum recover from the damaging effects of stroke and a brain aneurysm. She recounts the impact of dealing with life after stroke, a raft of negative prognosis, and how through research on neuroplasticity and stroke recovery exercises, her mum was able to make a full recovery from stroke and regain abilities.
And world leading Australian neuroscientist, Professor Leeanne Carey, has dedicated her career to occupational therapy, stroke rehabilitation and recovery research and helps us to understand how the brain recovers from the trauma of stroke and relearns through interconnected pathways.
Leeanne is the Founding Head of the Neurorehabilitation and Recovery research group, Stroke Division, Florey Institute of Neuroscience and Mental Health and Discipline Lead of Occupational Therapy in the School of Allied Health, La Trobe University, Melbourne, Australia, and she deep dives into stroke recovery and rehabilitation, neuroplasticity, sensation therapy, and walks us through the process of restoring movement and recalibrating our neural networks.
If we are open to believing there might be another way, and to the discovery of learning, then we can achieve change.
As Leeanne tells us: “Reframe of mind is about adapting and learning. Neuroplasticity is the mechanism that supports that. With a little bit of know-how, how-to, we can achieve that change.”
Show notes, resources and transcript available at www.reframeofmind.com.au
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How curious are you?
Do you tend to focus on what can go wrong, or fantasise about what could go right, and if you make a mistake, do you tend to beat yourself up or take it as an opportunity to learn?
Letting go of the need to be in control of every detail can be hard, especially when there’s a lot riding on the outcome, but what if letting go of control brought even more of what you wanted than you could ever have imagined?
Award-winning keynote speaker and author, Lucy Bloom, chats to Louise and Andy about the lessons life has served up for her in business and in dealing with her disability. In a bold realisation, Lucy realised that she has just as much control over what can go right as opposed to what could go wrong, which shifted her perspective on what it means to just get in and have a go.
Show notes, resources and transcript available at www.reframeofmind.com.au
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‘Music isn’t just entertainment’. As Professor Bill Thompson told us ‘It has a profound effect on virtually everything about us as human beings. How we relate to others, how we see ourselves, our psychological wellbeing and music can have a genuine impact on the brain’.
Music is used in lots of ways to evoke emotions, whether it’s to set the scene in film and TV storytelling, or by advertisers to convince us to buy their product because it will make us feel a certain way.
Maybe you’ve used it to boost your mood or affirm how you feel when something significant has happened in your life. And what about the physical act of participating in music?
In this episode of Reframe of Mind, Louise and Andy explore the importance of music for mental health, how music can improve mood, and how music and emotions are connected. They are joined by guests including Professor Bill Thompson from the Department of Psychology and Director of the Music, Sound and Performance Lab at Macquarie University and Professor Muireann Irish, cognitive neuropsychologist at the Brain and Mind Centre at the University of Sydney who share stories and research on the positive impact music can make.
Louise and Andy have both held professional roles as radio station music directors and they deep dive into their love (and sometimes hate) of music and share the personal impact it has had on their lives. Or more accurately, (hilariously, if we do say so) over-share stories about bonking playlists, Andy’s Abba obsession, Louise’s musical messages from dead pets, milking the dopamine out of radio hits and that time they got in trouble at a Neil Diamond concert.
Check out www.reframeofmind.com.au for show notes and transcript.
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What’s your favourite kind of music? How do you feel when the opposite of your favourite music plays compared to when you hear your favourite tunes?
In this episode, Andy and Louise chat to Distinguished Professor of the Department of Psychology, and Director of the Music, Sound and Performance Lab at Macquarie University, Bill Thompson, and cognitive neuropsychologist at the Brain and Mind Centre at the University of Sydney, Muireann Irish about the influence music has on our mood and memory for neurotypical people as well as people living with dementia.
Music isn’t only something most of derive pleasure from, but can also provide a doorway to memory and enhance our mood.
Louise and Andy recall their time programming music for commercial radio stations and also explore their own personal connection to music and how it positively impacts their lives in this music-free music special… not counting our theme some and incidental music, that is, but after all, what would life be without a tune?
Show notes, resources and transcript available at www.reframeofmind.com.au
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Good decision making is plastered all over self help and business books as the key to success, but if we could reliably make good decisions for ourselves every time, why don’t we? That feeling of being stuck in the mud of indecision, especially when depression is at play, and the indecision just seems to hold us there and dig that hole even deeper for us is the point at which we get to that “now or never” point.
Does decision making always need to be about solving a problem? If you’re asking yourself “how do I overcome chronic indecision and make progress” you probably feel like you’ve been cornered by that old foe, the imposter syndrome, and the procrastination tactics that surface when it comes out to play.
We make simple decisions every day, but even they can take a hit if we’re feeling off balance. Sometimes delayed decisions are better decisions, and slowing down our decision making helps us to uncover some shortcuts that might not serve us well in all situations.
In this episode, we broaden the discussion around decision making, and the impact our mood and emotions can have on the choices we make. Louise talks about some of the decisions she’s made in her life, in which she uprooted her life many times to progress her career in commercial radio, moving to new locations and resetting her social circle with each move, and when it comes to personal relationships past their use-by date, Louise describes the feeling of being that frog in the boiling pot.
Andy explores the choices he made with relation to his family, and how his choice to shake up the nature of those relationships came at the end of repeated behavioural patterns and expectations that existed well before he lost either of his parents. Having declared “I’m done” he now contemplates a life in which those people are absent either through death, or an inability to renegotiate family structure and boundaries.
Scientia Professor, Joe Forgas, from the University of New South Wales joins the voices of Cognitive Neuropsychologist at the Brain and Mind Centre at the University of Sydney Muireann Irish, author and coach Teisha Rose, Director of The Matilda Centre for Research in Mental Health and Substance Use Maree Teesson and best selling Australian small business author Andrew Griffiths.
Show notes, resources and transcript available at www.reframeofmind.com.au
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We all want personal growth, right? But knowing what’s needed to improve and develop isn’t always easy.
Maybe life is starting to feel a bit robotic, and as much as you know doing something new could be good for you, trying out new things comes with its own risks. Add anxiety or depression to the mix, and it can feel even harder to find the self-motivation to get out of our comfort zone. Maybe it’s less about anxiety or depression and you just want to improve your performance, because looking after our mental health isn’t always about addressing mental illness.
The psychology around the reasons for pushing ourselves beyond our limits is well documented and highly observable in the field of endurance sports. Even if you’re not “sports minded” the science is there for everyone to benefit from in all kinds of environments.
So, what is your comfort zone? How do you approach your goals, large or small?
Without engaging with cliches like “just pushing through to the next level” which if approached the wrong way, could just lead to burnout, the lessons New Zealand Ultra Marathon Runner, Lisa Tamati, has learned and applied from her own experiences are lessons for us all in backing yourself and pushing beyond what we or anyone else might think is possible.
Lisa has run over 140 ultra-marathons, won a string of National Titles and a number of podium places in international events, and if you think she’s just going to be one of those brassy motivational sporting types who’s full of their hype, you couldn’t be further from the truth.
Lisa shares her story with Louise and Andy in this episode of Reframe of mind to show that through discomfort, we can truly grow.
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What motivates change? Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, is quoted as saying “change is the only constant in life” but we don’t want to get too hoity toity with academic quotes… suffice to say change does seem to be the thing we still fear the most from day to day. Sometimes it’s drastic, sometimes it’s simply unexpected, both of which are examples of the types of change that are forced upon us.
But what if you’re in a situation you know doesn’t serve you any more? You know you need to change, yet you keep on keeping on, hoping things will just get better. Before long you’re asking “how do you motivate yourself to change?”
The decisions we make inevitably affect our relationship with others and what motivates people to change varies. Do we always wait until we’ve just had enough, or can we move towards something new in a proactive way, instead of running away from something? Do we have to wait until we hit the ‘I’m f**king done’ moment before we act?
Motivation to change your life is coupled with motivating ourselves to change our behaviour. Choosing change, instead of letting change choose us takes courage, but is also one of the most liberating things we can do for ourselves.
So, what’s the best way to self motivate? Louise and Andy chat about their experiences making change in their lives along with helpful insights from leading scientists and psychologists.
We take an honest look at some of our personal experiences, with the help of some expert guests, to uncover if we’ve ever really made a deliberate choice to change or if the motivations for change have more often come from a place of ‘I just can’t do this anymore’.
We’ll also discuss what changes you can make in your life now that will help you later on down the road and find out just how important it is for us to know our own motivations so that when change is forced upon us—like when someone dies or we lose a job—we’re ready for it.
This episode features advice and commentary from Professor Leeanne Carey, world leading Australian neuroscientist in occupational therapy and stroke rehabilitation and recovery research at the Florey Institute; Associate Professor Kimberley Norris, School of Psychological Sciences, University of Tasmania; Professor Maree Teesson AC, Director of The Matilda Centre for Research in Mental Health and Substance Use; Daphne Kapetas, CEO, Founder & Chemist of La Joie Skin; Sally Goldner AM, Diversity Trans re-lator, speaker and educator; And 2021 NSW Young Australian of the Year Nathan Parker.
For show notes, transcript and further resources, check out: www.reframeofmind.com.au
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Mindset. It’s starting to sound like a buzzword now, right? With catchy book titles promising you’ll change your life if you change your thinking and any number of people out there making inspirational posts about just changing your mindset makes it all sound kind of like the platitudes of toxic positivity in the end.
But what if what you feel like is a negative mindset had a rational purpose for its existence? What if we looked just a little bit deeper than the conversations around psychology and looked at observable brain structure to understand how our brain does what it does to evolve from repetitive negative states to really change our mind?
In this episode, we look at the science of changing your thinking with some of Australia’s leading women in STEM.
World leading Australian neuroscientist, Professor Leeanne Carey, has dedicated her career to occupational therapy, stroke rehabilitation and recovery research and helps us to understand how the brain recovers from the trauma of stroke, re-learning through specific pathways. Professor
Muireann Irish is Professor of Cognitive Neuroscience at the Brain and Mind Centre, University of Sydney, and has observed brain function with a particular focus on dementia, uncovering all kinds of interesting facts about how we remember, through her research.
Dr Lisa Saulsman, Senior Lecturer and Deputy Clinical Director with the School of Psychological Science at University of Western Australia, brings her expertise in the field of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT )to complement the neuroscience.
Associate Professor Kimberley Norris, Head of Discipline and Director of Post Graduate Programs for the School of Psychological Sciences at the University of Tasmania completes the picture with her expansive knowledge in adaptation and change.
If you’re ready to ask questions, these women have answers to help us all on life’s journey.
Show notes, resources and transcript available at www.reframeofmind.com.au
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We’ve all heard the cliche “the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward”, but when the risk doesn’t work out, are there still rewards to be found?
It’s inevitable in life that we are going to be faced with having to decide to take a risk or not, whether it’s taking a risk in love, in our career, achieving a goal, moving to a new city or starting a business for example.
But is there a difference between real risk and perceived risk? And how does the perception of risk affect our mental health?
In this episode of Reframe of Mind, podcast hosts Louise Poole & Andy Le Roy explore those uncomfortable feelings of stepping outside your comfort zone and share personal experiences from matters of the heart, to leaving jobs with no plan in place, to starting a business, and look at both the perceived risk of those choices, like humiliation and failure, and the real risks like physical threats and financial loss.
They are joined by Psychologist and Associate Professor Kimberley Norris, University of Tasmania, who tells us about the importance of risk in maintaining happiness and Scientia Professor Joe Forgas AM, University of NSW, who shares some observations on our ability to forecast future emotions.
We also hear from New Zealand Explorer Brando Yelavich who speaks on why taking a risk is important, Former South Australian tactical police officer Derek McManus who explains how risk is managed, and ask Dr Dinesh Palipana OAM and 2021 Queensland Australian of the Year if the risk he took in backing himself, pursuing a career in medicine, and becoming Queensland’s first quadriplegic doctor was worth it.
Show notes, resources and transcript available at www.reframeofmind.com.au
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Love an adventure? Ever felt like you just needed to disconnect from the noise of the world and be with yourself to make sense of everything?
Brando Yelavich did exactly that when he was nineteen years old, resulting in him being the first person to walk around the coastline of New Zealand, but it wasn’t without risk and also nearly ended his life.
Since that first adventure, he has cycled the width of Australia, kayaked around Vancouver Island (look it up, it’s massive!) and crossed the polar icecap in Greenland, amongst other wild adventures.
Brando chats to us about his adventures, what he has learned, and gave us a new perspective on ADHD, describing how he has learned to appreciate and use it to achieve his goals.
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It’s almost like the term itself has fallen into buzz word territory, but our core values are what run us, whether we know it or not. When was the last time you looked at your values, if ever? Mindfulness coach, Annie Harvey was 50 years old when she was asked that question and had never considered the question, but has unlocked so much more of her potential since understanding what her values are. She even had the nerve to set Louise and Andy some homework, but luckily they love a quiz!
In this episode, Andy and Louise talk through their own journey with exploring core values, and we also hear from Annie Harvey, Dinesh Palipana and Andrew Griffiths on just how important identifying your values is.
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How does choosing to make yourself the most expensive in your profession fit into the mental health landscape?
At this point in their mental health journey, Louise and Andy talk to Andrew Griffiths about his book “Someone Has To Be The Most Expensive, Why Not Make It You?” and discover this proposition involves more than a renegade approach of “I’ll just charge what I want”. It involves a much deeper exploration of who we are and what’s important to us.
Are we really prepared to put in what it takes to become the next ‘overnight millionaire’ or would a more modest goal that doesn’t take away from our lifestyle be a better choice?
Andrew talks about his journey to business and entrepreneurial success, including the incidents and choices earlier in life that helped shape him into Australia’s #1 best-selling small business author.
Show notes, resources and transcript available at www.reframeofmind.com.au
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How important are other people’s opinions to you? Seeking advice and support is one thing, but sometimes placing too much value on someone else’s opinion can have the opposite effect and limit us instead. It’s easy to become sensitive to or obsessed with what other people think, and worrying about it is something that can be hard to stop once that train has left the station.
Keeping ourselves mentally durable or tough helps bring the stability we need to meet our goals, so taking a lead from people who have tapped into this mindset seems like a great place to start.
In this episode, Andy and Louise deconstruct some old beliefs they once held, busting the impact of other people’s opinions as the draw from the perspective of guests who have overcome extreme events, and others who have used this mindset to their advantage in other, more common contexts.
Why is Louise not fond of straws, and how accomplished did Andy become at playing saxophone?
The mental health journey isn’t always traumatic, but if there’s trauma to be unpacked, you know they’ll go there.
Show notes, resources and transcript available at www.reframeofmind.com.au
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