Episodi
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It's the first week of school for many students and families. The excitement of a new school year comes with new relationships, new beginnings, and setting goals. For many folks, especially those who grew up in conservative religious environments, setting goals can carry an enormous amount of anxiety with it. This week, Julia and Jeremiah explore what it might look like to engage with the back-to-school season without the pressure of setting goals. We discuss: The pressure to be excited The anxiety of heaven being the ultimate goal The loss of play Setting new definitions on success Setting boundaries with the urgency desire Check out Episode #77: Summer Series: Taking a Break From...Setting Goals on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website
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Episodi mancanti?
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Social media has the capacity to bring out the worst in us as communicators. Julia and Jeremiah talk about strategies for communicating as effectively as possible on social media, which can include taking a break from it altogether. We explore: Real life examples of how to not conduct yourself on social media Virtue signaling and shame How to resolve conflict on social media effectively. The dangers of short form content. Building community, both virtually and in real life Check out Episode #76: Summer Series: Taking a Break from...Social Media on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website.
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Our work as relationship therapists invites couples to consider the variety of ways that their relationship could look, based on the values, traits, and preferences of the people in that relationship. Plenty of couples choose monogamy because it best aligns with these characteristics. However, performative monogamy refers to cultural aspects that reinforce explicit and implicit expectations of sexual exclusivity. On that note, we're talking this week about the performativity of weddings. Evangelical weddings take this a step further as the marriage and wedding ceremony represent the socially sanctioned way for two people to become sexual persons. We're joined by our marketing and communications director, Maddie, for this episode. The three of us talk about: Weddings as a status symbol The quirks of Evangelical wedding KitchenAid Mixers and other ways that society rewards those who get married Giving away the bride and patriarchy The cringey practices of weddings, like morning after breakfasts and garters. Surviving weddings Check out Episode #75: Summer Series...Taking a Break from the Performativity of Weddings on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the Sexvangelicals website.
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One of the biggest myths about sexuality is that the more sex you're having, the better the relationship is. Perhaps that's true, perhaps that isn't. But the myths around quantity place extreme pressures to perform sex, and a lot of panic around seasons with a lower quantity of sex. This week, as we continue our summer series "Taking a Break From...", Julia and Jeremiah talk about: Sexual sabbaticals The anxiety around sexual sabbaticals The pressures around sex in Evangelical contexts Transitions into sexuality, and ensuing pressures The decrease of sexual activity among gen-Z The ebbs and flows of sexuality throughout the course of a relationship Check out Episode #74: Summer Series: Taking a Break from Sex on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website.
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Happy first official week of summer! We recognize that for many folks, summer requires a reorganization of scheduling and routines for parents, who have three months in which they cannot rely on schools to partner with them in rearing their children. While some parents see these three months as exciting, others face these months with growing trepidation. This week, we're talking about how to create structures that can hopefully make parenting a little less overwhelming for the next few months. Julia and Jeremiah talk about: Setting Realistic Expectations The Expectations of Parenting in Evangelical Communities Fear-Based and Performative Parenting Policing Parenting Letting Your Kids Be Bored How to Collaborate and Share the Responsibility with Your Co-Parent and Your Community Check out Episode #73: Summer Series: Taking a Break from the Expectations of Parenting on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast
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This week, Sexvangelicals has teamed up with the I was a Teenage Fundamentalist podcast, to bring you their thought-provoking conversation with Tracey Phalen. She herself was a teenage fundamentalist, and details her experience as a member of the Last Days Ministries. The episode begs the question, was Keith Green a cult leader?
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Many folks who grew up in the 90s and 00s grew up with an extreme amount of sex negativity. Regardless of whether or not they grew up in Evangelical churches, Gen-X and millennials were impacted by a culture and policy that reinforced negative messages about bodies, sexuality, and gender. And it's on us to make sure that future generations aren't saddled with equally negative messages and practices about sexuality and relationships. We talk with Lindsay, Meg, and Sarai from the Holy Ghosting Podcast @holyghostingpod about how they have navigated talking with their kids in more effective, affirming, and healing ways. Check out our conversations about: Project 2025 Imposter Syndrome Discussing and Demystifying Masturbation Shame Engaging with Sexuality at Different Ages The Pain of Saving Yourself Relational v. Behavioral Demphasizing the Importance of Sex The Gravity of the Deadly Sexual Sins The New Generation and Liberation Check out Episode 71: How to Talk with Your Kids About Sexuality When You Grew Up in an Evangelical Community, with Lindsay, Meg, and Sarai from the Holy Ghosting Pod on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website.
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Mother's Day was this weekend, and is a complicated holiday for many folks. On the one hand, the celebration of women's expected unpaid labor for one singular day seems trite, at best. On another hand, women navigate a myriad of challenges on the pathway to motherhood, from obnoxious questions about timing, to pregnancy loss.
Ideally, parenting is a collaborative relationship between two (or more) parents, with each parent contributing an equal amount to the development of their children. We talk with Lindsay, Meg, and Sarai from the Holy Ghosting Podcast (@holyghostingpod) about their experiences co-parenting, both while in religious communities, and during the deconstruction process. We discuss:
Co-Parenting Wins Deconstructing Human Depravity as a Parent Trusting Yourself Outside of Religion Choice in Motherhood Abortion Stillbirth Lack of Structure and Support Creating Space for Grief The Myth of "Spiritual Warfare" Not Believing is Not an Option Pre-Existing Conditions and Shame Mirroring Healthy Disagreements in Coparenting Parenting Post-Deconstruction Check out Episode 70: How to Navigate Co-Parenting Post Deconstruction, with Lindsay, Meg, and Sarai from the Holy Ghosting Pod on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the Sexvangelicals website. -
Pride month next month is going to be especially important.
Based on the threats from Project 2025 and the behavior of other religious nationalist groups, federal bills that prevent states from discriminating against queer folks are at risk. Coming out, already a stress-inducing process, especially for folks in conservative areas, would have far greater anxiety connected with it under a second Trump administration. We invite singer-songwriter Adaline, founder of the nonprofit Bad Believer, to help explore the anxieties that come with coming out. Adaline talks with us about: Her new album, Hymnal No Hate Like Christian Love Erasing Love Rebecca St. James & Waiting Not Being a Part of Your Own Story The Mythmaking of Purity Culture Autonomy and Choosing Yourself Love Songs Radical Acceptance, Jesus, and Unconditional Love Hymnal was released March 22. Download it today! Also, check out this episode and all other episodes of Sexvangelicals on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website. -
One of the most common targets of Evangelical, Mormon, and Pentecostal (EMPish) communities in the 21st century are queer people. The moralizing of straight, married relationships places people who are attracted to folks of the same sex/gender and folks who are curious about sexual experiences with same sex/gendered people in terrible double binds. Folks can accept and practice sexuality in alignment with their sexual orientation in the face of name-calling, loss of relationships with family members, and threats of violence. Or they can squelch or hide their sexuality, or practice their sexuality in more secretive ways, which itself can have negative impacts. Coming out in EMPish communities carries a ton of undue emotional and relational pressure. To help us navigate that, we've invited singer-songwriter and founder of non-profit Bad Believer (@badbelievercommunity), Adaline (@adalinemusic), to share how she navigated her own coming out process. We talk with Adaline about her first album, Hymnal, as well as: Body Talk and EMPish Communities Hierarchy in Sin Binaries and Sexuality Co-Opting Coming Out Stories for Her Songs "Part of You" and "Waist Down" Building Personal Strength Trusting Desires Family Systems: When Your Pastor is Also Your Father Embracing Your Body Sensuality and the Music Video Coming Out and Guilt Her Nonprofit, Bad Believer
Check out Episode #68: Coming Out in Evangelical Families, with Singer-Songwriter, Adaline, part 1 of 2, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Show notes and transcript are on the SV website -
What are the messages that we wish we learned about masculinity? What are messages that we'd like to teach younger generations about masculinity, and in conjunction, how we might do relationships more effectively, more collaboratively? We are thrilled to have Zach Wagner (@zacharycwagner), author of Non-Toxic Masculinity, on Sexvangelicals this week. Zach talks with us about: The Books of Deconstruction The Narrative of Sex and Conquest Broadening the Script Male Sexuality Injecting Shame Shame & Desire EMPish Communities and Being “Counter-Cultural” Internalized Narratives Desire Starting Sex Ed Early Check out Episode #67: Banned Books: Non-Toxic Masculinity, by Zach Wagner, part 2 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website.
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Healing from Purity Culture involves conversations of how Evangelical communities have created undue amounts of anxiety and pressure for men as well as women. We talk with Zachary Wagner (@zacharycwagner), author of the new book Non-Toxic Masculinity, about the importance of deconstructing simplistic, reductive practices of manhood and reimagining new ways that men can conceptualize themselves and create meaningful relationships. Zach talks with us about: Why Does the Book Matter Now: Generational Understandings of Masculinity The Power of the Purity Movement Purity Books The Effects of Christian Literature Purity Culture and Sex Violence as a Result of Purity Culture Purity Camp Reducing Each Other's Humanity Healing Check out Episode #66: Banned Books: Non Toxic Masculinity, with Zach Wagner, part 1 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website: www.sexvangelicals.com
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Are you interested in writing a memoir? Then this episode is especially for you! We're excited to have Tia Levings @tialevingsswriter, author of the upcoming book A Well Trained Wife, as our guest for Sexvangelicals this week. Tia talks with us about: Hero’s Journey Not Exploiting Your Own Story Babies and Resilience The Nuance in Deconstruction Finding Light in the Dark Honoring Our Instincts Slowing Down Write the Book The Books of Deconstruction Check out Episode #65 Banned Books: A Well Trained Wife, with Tia Levings, part 2 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website.
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"While this story is my own memoir, the situations in this book are far from unique. With me stands a choir of invisible fundamentalist women, too silenced to tell their stories for themselves." We're honored to have Tia Levings (@tialevingswriter), author of the upcoming book A Well Trained Wife, as our podcast guest this week. Tia shares her research, wisdom, and immense bravery with us; we focus our conversations around: How the Evangelical Church is a Microcosm of a Bigger System Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop: Perfectionism Books that Encourage Evangelical Family Structures Tradwives Dating Under Purity Culture Covenant Marriage Cosigning Misery The Wellness Industry and Christianity Assigning Credit to Yourself Instead of God
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There's a lot of memoirs, social media comments, and dialogue about leaving the evangelical church. However, as our guest, Sarah McCammon (@sarahmccammon_journalist) says, "you can't really understand the leaving without understanding loving and living the evangelical church."
Sarah is the author of the new book The Exvangelicals. She talks with us about: The history of Christianity and politics What religion may offer The Bill Clinton Era and Purity Culture Evangelical Relationships Performing Gender Loving and Living (and Leaving) the Evangelical Church Grief Connection and Trauma Bonding Healing Through Storytelling Check out Episode #63: Banned Books: The Exvangelicals, with Sarah McCammon, part 2 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website -
It's been really fascinating to watch the ways that Evangelical, Mormon, and Pentecostal (EMPish) cultures have begun to be deconstructed and discussed on a wider cultural level. While some still struggle to accurately name the direct correlation between EMPish cultures and the construction of the modern-day Republican Party, NPR national correspondent Sarah McCammon (@sarahmccammon_journalist) discusses the strategy and implementation of rigid conservative values in her new book The Exvangelicals: Loving, Living, and Leaving the White Evangelical Church. In part 1 of a 2 part interview, Sarah talks with us about: Trump and Evangelicals The rise of the religious Nones Two target audiences The purpose of The Exvangelicals Fear of Judgement Empathy and Honesty Why People Stay in EMPish Spaces Lack of Goodbyes Christianity and Inclusivity Promises Unfulfilled Salem Witch Trials and Christian Textbooks The Exvangelicals comes out this week--buy it on Amazon! Check out Episode #62: Banned Books: The Exvangelicals, with Sarah McCammon, part 1 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website
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One of the most common relational processes that the deconstructing world talks about is boundaries. Evangelical circles encourage the elimination of boundaries. Sexuality is public, as Purity Culture invites people in leadership positions to make a variety of comments about people's bodies. Accountability groups and testimonials favor people who describe the most intimate parts of their stories.
When making sense of these harmful systems, it's easy to go the opposite direction with boundaries; in fact, quite a few people in the deconstructing community invite people to do this. But as we talk about with Laura Anderson, author of When Religion Hurts You, the construction of boundaries is a complex, nuanced process, something more complicated than just "Setting those boundaries". Laura talks with us about: Leaving religious spaces Trust development post-religion Boundary rigidity Differences being dangerous Pop psychology messages around boundaries Trauma in the context of relationships The practice of slowing down Healing ourselves first Accommodations and understanding Check out Episode #61: Banned Books, with Laura Anderson, part 2 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the Sexvangelicals website. -
What is religious abuse? Dr. Laura Anderson, in her new book When Religion Hurts You, defines it as: "The improper use of religious beliefs, teachings, doctrines, and relationships against another person. This might include harassment, humiliation, mind control, psychological abuse, isolation, threats, intimidation, minimizing, denying, blaming, asserting spiritual authority, and making it difficult to leave the religious community."
If you're experienced one or more of the above, our interview with Laura provides some strategies for processing and navigating these experiences. Laura talks with us about: Addressing Religious Trauma Downplaying Trauma How Diagnosing Blames the Individual Focusing on the Body Eating Disorders and EMPish Communities Acknowledging Before Healing Two-Choice Dilemmas Honoring Grief The Demonization of Anger Check out Episode #60: Banned Books: When Religion Hurts You, with Laura Anderson (part 1 of 2) on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. - Mostra di più