Episodi
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Sorry for the delay. Apparently we set something on the server to "bad'. We aren't sure when it happened, before or after we watched the movie, because woof. Frankenstein implies parts. Is our job (nonpaid) to just watch anything anyone slaps a name onto? Would we buy Amityville Bibles and sneakers? Why do we give our enemy agency? These answers aren't in this episode. They are in our souls.
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It's in Amityville. People are on an elevator. There are thankfully no fart jokes. Beyond that, what is there to talk about? We take an hour to try and figure that out.
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Episodi mancanti?
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Not to be confused with Subspecies, which we said a while ago we would dive into once we were caught up. We should never have made that promise. Sisyphus may have come to appreciate his neverending toils like an office drone on year 20 of an entry level position, but the rock of Amityville gets heavier and heavier.
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Ride Share is almost a clever title, because the movie carpools a bunch of stuff from the maker's other works, just crams them all into a buggy then we watch as they all say which way to go and we never get anywhere and the windows won't roll down and the AC is broke. If you thought driving scenes were going to be the worst of this, you've underestimated this franchise.
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An anthology, with sort of a wraparound. There's an outhouse. Green screen. Probably made during some stage of lockdown. Who knows? Who cares? Poop jokes. All in the name of Amityville.
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This one popped up on some but not all lists of Amityville films, because finding all of the Amityville films is the only way to unlock the clues that lead to the Great Amityville Treasure, buried long ago by Lutzbeard of Brolin, the greatest pirate Long Island has ever known. But why? We had to find out (contractually)!
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When looking under every rock for these movies, we somehow forgot to look to the 70's European market, where things like copyrights and titles were to be shared like they were sharing their wine, their drugs, their bodies. It was a Bertolucci-esque bacchanalia of "sequels" and imposters dancing across screens for cheap coin. Per Professor Nigel Crump, "They made a lot of knockoff crap."
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We close out the Scream franchise. It goes as expected. A correction for the end of the episode, we will be going back to Amityville before out next franchise, which is announced at the end of the show. How many more Amityvilles are there now? Find out next episode, and then again once we actually get to the end again.
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The first of the post-Craven installments, and the relaunch of the franchise in the era of terms like "elevated horror" and "requel". A new cast takes the lead, while the old cast still tries to be front and center at least a little. People are stabbed. Phone calls are made.
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Wes Craven's final film, plus a return to the franchise in general after over a decade past that third one. I wonder if we'll have anything to talk about? Oh, the original file came in at almost three hours, so it seems so. We trimmed stuff like pauses for passing sirens, coughing fits, and some long silent stares that don't make for good radio and got it down to still our longest episode. Enjoy!
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Tom and Pat get back into alignment on this entry, that either closed out the trilogy or ground the series to a halt for years. But we still find things to disagree about, like the professional podcasters we are.
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Someone has taken their love of sequels too far. Or not far enough. Either way, we debate this follow up to the genre pivot point from the previous year. And speaking of rehashes, we had to re-record the main discussion, but mostly captured the magic of the first try hopefully. Does the movie? Results may vary.
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Kicking off another sidequest while the Amityville series recharges (and boy howdy did it!), we take on a series loved by one of us, not so much by the other. While we both agree this first one is a masterpiece, we still manage to fight about something. Still haven't hit that dealbreaker yet, though.
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Sometimes a long running but all over the place franchise will have a small budget entry sneak out and be one of the best the series has ever had, concentrating on character and theme and not just cheap gags or fan service. But for every Godzilla Minus One, there are dozens of death toilets. We close out this batch of Amityville movies with one that sets the bar at a new low. Sigh.
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An in-franchise semi-remake about house flippers. We keep track of these things, I suppose. This one has a bigger budget than the usual stuff, but does that mean a bump in quality? Yes, but a hill in Delaware is nothing in Appalachia.
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Two overlong franchises full of knock offs and spin offs finally hook up. Is it super hot and steamy, like a good coffee, or is it exhausting and tepid, like a bad coffee? Does it spend much time on either franchise? Both? The answers will very likely not surprise you!
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And we're back to our core franchise. What was waiting for us? A family quarantine project. Yes, it's a narrative, but it's also another home video that got distribution by name dropping Amityville. Seriously, if anyone out there is an aspiring film maker, you can get distribution.
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Finally we wrap things up with the Hulu reboot, which calls back to the franchise in several ways while completely reimagining in others. Will there be more? We have no way to know, because one year in most franchises is a bare minimum gap, but we've come to expect several a year from our flagship franchise, which we return to next time. But for now, let's just enjoy a little more time in Hell before our suffering really returns.
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It definitely feels like this franchise has had more endings that others. And here's another, the last of the Gary Tunnicliffe era, before the big budget relaunch by Hulu, which does completely close out this season for now. With one of the smallest budgets in the franchise, it relies on lore, ideas, thematic explorations, and yet another corrupt cop mystery.
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This week we watch the first of the series to not feature Doug Bradley. An entry produced primarily to retain the rights, and filmed on what would be a shoestring budget if you weren't for some reason watching every Amityville movie. But hey, as they say, just finishing a movie is an accomplishment, especially when there's the chance from the get go it might never get released.Not known at the time of recording, let us also say goodbye to Anthony Hickox, director of Hellraiser III, as well as Waxwork I & 2, Sundown, and plenty of other fun flicks.
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