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Welcome back to The Divorce Chapter where we rewrite the divorce plot twist āļø
In this episode, weāre tackling something that can make divorce feel like a never-ending battleā¦.when your ex tries to turn family, friends, and mutual acquaintances against you.
Divorce is hard enough, but dealing with an ex who manipulates those around you takes it to a whole new level. This episode is all about understanding these toxic tactics and finding ways to protect yourself.
Weāll cover:
- Flying Monkeys: Just like in The Wizard of Oz, these are people your ex recruits to spread misinformation, manipulate, or guilt-trip you, often without knowing the full picture.
- Triangulation: How your ex might play people off each other, creating sides to keep you isolated and confused.
- How to Spot the Tactics: Recognising when family or friends suddenly become distant, share personal details they shouldnāt know, or start relaying your exās narrative.
- Steps to Protect Yourself: From setting boundaries and documenting everything to emotionally detaching from the drama, I share practical strategies to regain your peace and strength.
If youāre facing an ex whoās manipulating the people around you, this episode will help you recognise these tactics, protect your mental health, and take back your power.
And next week, weāre diving into Part 2 on managing things when your ex turns the kids against you. Donāt miss it!
I hope the episode is useful for you.
And whilst weāre talking empowerment weāre a couple of chapters in to Novemberās book over in the Divorce Book Club.
How to Heal a Broken Heart: From Rock Bottom to Reinvention *via ugly crying on the bathroom floor, by Rosie Green š
You can check out the book here:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08GG7BC79/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
This is the story of Rosie's own divorce shitshow interspersed with advice, book recommendations and sprinkled throughout with humour.
ā¤ļø
I bloody love it so far!Iād love to have you join us for this one. Itās never too late to join as all the back catalogue of episodes are available to all members š
Link to join below ā¬ļø
Do let me know if you want any more details about the book club - or indeed about anything divorce/break-up related.
Until next week then you absolute QUEEN š sending you loads of love,
Sarah x
šø
P.S. If you found this episode helpful, please take a moment to rate and review. Your support means so much and helps others find the podcast ā¤ļø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
Hello Queen š
Have you ever found yourself obsessing over someone?
Youāre not alone.
This week on The Divorce Chapter podcast, Iām diving into a topic that many of us have experienced but may not fully understand: limerence.
Limerence is that intense, almost obsessive desire for someone, often built on fantasy rather than reality, and it can seriously mess with your emotional healing after a divorce.
In this episode, I break down:
- What limerence is and how it differs from love. Spoiler alert: itās not love; itās obsession
- How limerence shows up after divorce.
- Why we get stuck in these patterns.
- 9 steps to break free from limerence.
If youāre struggling to move on from an ex or find yourself idealising someone new, this episode will help you understand whyāand give you the tools to start healing.
These are the links to my references in the episode
Love and Limerence by OG Dorothy Tennov:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0812862864/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
Dr L/ Dr Tom Bellamyās website and book Living with Limerence:https://livingwithlimerence.com/what-is-limerence/
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B085RN5XGS/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
And whilst weāre talking empowerment through the shitshow, weāve chosen Novemberās book over in the Divorce Book Club.
How to Heal a Broken Heart: From Rock Bottom to Reinvention *via ugly crying on the bathroom floor, by Rosie Green š
You can check out the book here:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08GG7BC79/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
This is the story of Rosie's own divorce shitshow interspersed with advice, book recommendations and sprinkled throughout with humour.
ā¤ļø
I CANāT WAIT!Iād love to have you join us for this one š
We start on 1 November š
Link to join below ā¬ļø
Do let me know if you want any more details about the book club - or indeed about anything divorce/break-up related.
Until next week then you absolute QUEEN š sending you loads of love,
Sarah x
šø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
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Hello and welcome to this weekās episode where Iām super delighted to introduce you to Amanda Bell.
Amanda is a divorce lawyer by background, and with her co-founder Victoria, has created an AMAZING, affordable platform designed to help you navigate the entire divorce process with confidence and clarity. Whether youāre facing legal challenges, co-parenting with a high-conflict ex, or trying to get a handle on your finances, Separate Space offers expert guidance every step of the way.
You can check out Separate Space website here: https://www.separatespace.co.uk/
And their Instagram here:https://www.instagram.com/separatespace/
In the episode we go into:
- The concept behind Separate Space: an accessible tool designed to empower individuals with the information and resources they need to navigate divorce.
- Why divorce impacts every part of your life, not just the legal side, and how the Separate Space platform helps manage both the emotional and practical aspects of the process.
- How Separate Space offers a personalised pathway for your unique divorce journey, helping you handle everything from financial planning to co-parenting dynamics, even if you canāt afford one-to-one legal advice right now.
- The importance of understanding your financial situation, why pensions matter, and how to protect yourself legally during a separation.
- Amanda's advice for anyone facing a sudden or complex divorce: get informed, take control, and donāt rush into decisions without understanding the long-term impact.
I honestly canāt recommend this platform enough - I WISH Iād had something like thisā¦. It really is a torch in the divorce shitstorm š¦
Check out the episode to hear all about Separate Space and how this may help you š©·
And whilst weāre talking empowerment through the shitshow, weāve chosen Novemberās book over in the Divorce Book Club.
How to Heal a Broken Heart: From Rock Bottom to Reinvention *via ugly crying on the bathroom floor, by Rosie Green š
You can check out the book here:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08GG7BC79/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
This is the story of Rosie's own divorce shitshow interspersed with advice, book recommendations and sprinkled throughout with humour.
ā¤ļø
I CANāT WAIT!Iād love to have you join us for this one š
We start on 1 November š
Link to join below ā¬ļø
Do let me know if you want any more details about the book club - or indeed about anything divorce/break-up related.
Until next week then you absolute QUEEN š sending you loads of love,
Sarah x
šø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
In this episode, Iām unpacking what a trauma bond is, how they form, andāmost importantlyāhow you can break free from one.
If youāve ever felt trapped in a toxic relationship where you know itās bad for you but you just canāt seem to let go, this episode is for you. Trauma bonds are emotional ties that form in abusive relationships, keeping you hooked even when you know itās hurting you.
Weāre going to talk about:
- What a trauma bond actually is (think emotional addiction).
- How they develop through a cycle of abuse and reconciliation.
- Why breaking free is SO hard, but also absolutely necessary.
Iāll walk you through seven steps to start untangling yourself from a trauma bond, from creating physical and emotional distance, to rebuilding your self-worth, and even rewiring your brain to break the addictive cycle. Weāll also touch on how to grieve the loss of the relationship, and why sometimes we need professional help to get through it.
If youāve been struggling to let go of a toxic ex, this is your episode. I promise, youāre not alone, and with the right tools and mindset, you can move on and reclaim your life.
Iād love to hear what you thinkā¦.. If you find the episode helpful, it would mean the world to me if you left a review or shared it with someone who might need it. š
Until next week please take care of you, and sending you loads of love,
Sarah x
šø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
In honour of World Mental Health Day on 10 October 2024 and the theme of:
āIt is time to prioritise mental health in the workplaceā
In this weekās episode, weāre looking at a topic that doesnāt get nearly enough attention: how divorce can impact your work and career.
If youāve ever felt like youāre expected to just "keep going" at work while dealing with the emotional shitshow of a breakup, youāre not alone.
In this episode, I talk about:
š©āš¼Why divorce grief should NOT be so absent from compassionate leave policies
š©āš¼How to manage your mental health during and after divorce while still holding down a job
š©āš¼The long-term effects divorce can have on your careerāand how to overcome them
š©āš¼How divorce can actually be a catalyst for career reinvention too
We all know that divorce is tough enough on its own without the added pressure of having to show up and perform at work as if everything is fine.I share my personal experience and some practical tips on how to cope with the emotional fallout of divorce, especially when youāre expected to āpush throughā at work.
If youāve ever wondered how to set boundaries, ask for support, or use this life-changing event as an opportunity for professional growth, this episode is for you!
Iād love to hear what you thinkā¦.. If you find the episode helpful, it would mean the world to me if you left a review or shared it with someone who might need it. š
Take care of yourself, and rememberāyour mental health comes first.
And whilst weāre all about becoming even more badassā¦. Weāve started Octoberās book over in the Divorce Book Club.
How to Feel Better: 4 Steps to Self-Coach your way to a Happier, more Authentic Life, by Ruth Kudzi.
You can check out the book here:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1801292582/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
Ruth is an amazing Coach who Iāve met and she just has SO Much knowledge ā¤ļø
Iād love to have you join us š
We started on 1 October but itās NEVER too late to join as the whole back catalogue is available for all members š
Link to join below ā¬ļø
Do let me know if you want any more details about the book club - or indeed about anything divorce/break-up related.
Until next week then you absolute QUEEN š sending you loads of love,
Sarah x
šø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
If youāve ever felt lost, wondering āWho am I now?ā after your marriage ended, trust meā¦youāre not alone. Letās be real: divorce can shake us to our core, leaving us feeling like weāve lost sight of who we truly are. We spend years filling roles like āwife,ā āmother,ā or even āperfect partner,ā and often forget the badass woman we once were.
But hereās the good news: divorce is your chance to reinvent yourself, and in this episode, Iām diving deep into exactly how to do that.
We explore how to shed the labels that no longer serve you and embrace the most empowered, authentic version of yourself. Iām talking about stepping into your new identity with confidence and fierceness, like BeyoncĆ© stepping into Sasha Fierce š„
Iāll guide you through visualising the highest version of yourself, creating your very own alter ego to embody that badass queen inside you, and showing up as her in every aspect of your life. This is about more than just "moving on"...itās about reclaiming your power, rewriting your narrative, and building a future that excites you.
So buckle up, and letās learn to be it until you see it, transforming your post-divorce life into the best chapter yet.
And whilst weāre all about becoming even more badassā¦. Weāve started Octoberās book over in the Divorce Book Club.
How to Feel Better: 4 Steps to Self-Coach your way to a Happier, more Authentic Life, by Ruth Kudzi.
You can check out the book here:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1801292582/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
Ruth is an amazing Coach who Iāve met and she just has SO Much knowledge ā¤ļø
Iād love to have you join us. We started on 4 October but itās NEVER too late to join as the whole back catalogue is available for all members š
Link to join below ā¬ļø
Do let me know if you want any more details about the book club - or indeed about anything divorce/break-up related.
Until next week then you absolute QUEEN š sending you loads of love,
Sarah x
šø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
In this weekās episode of the Divorce Chapter, I dive deep into the topic of emotional affairs and the āsilentā betrayal. While physical affairs often steal the spotlight, 'invisible' emotional betrayal can be just as devastating, if not more so.
I explore how these affairs often start as innocent friendships, slowly evolving into something more significant, ultimately crossing boundaries of trust and intimacy. Weāll discuss the signs of an emotional affair, the betrayal it represents, and the lasting impact it can have.
But most importantly, I focus on how we can heal after discovering an emotional affair. If youāve walked away from a cheating partner, I share tools for validating your emotions, rebuilding trust in yourself, and creating a new future. Whether itās self-compassion, setting boundaries, or finding closure within yourself, healing is possibleāand Iām here to guide you through the process.
Letās talk about reclaiming your power, because you deserve better š
And whilst weāre all about turning divorce into our superpowerā¦. Weāve chosen Octoberās book over in the Divorce Book Club.
How to Feel Better: 4 Steps to Self-Coach your way to a Happier, more Authentic Life, by Ruth Kudzi.
You can check out the book here:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1801292582/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
Ruth is an amazing Coach who Iāve met and she just has SO Much knowledge ā¤ļø
Iād love to have you join us š
We start on 1 October.
Link to join below ā¬ļø
Do let me know if you want any more details about the book club - or indeed about anything divorce/break-up related.
Until next week then you absolute QUEEN š sending you loads of love,
Sarah x
šø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
Have you ever felt like youāre stuck in a loop after your divorce? Replaying the past over and over again? Wondering why itās so hard to let go and move forward?
In this episode, I get real about the emotional and psychological blocks we face post-divorceāfear of loneliness, guilt, shame, and that never-ending āwhat ifā thinking.
Iāve been there, too. I know how hard it can be to stop reliving the past and start embracing the future. Thatās why Iām diving deep into why these blocks happen and, more importantly, how to kick them to the curb so you can truly move on.
Hereās what you can expect from this episode:
- The fear of being alone and why it keeps us clinging to the past
- How guilt and shame show up and block our growth
- The āwhat ifā trap and why it makes moving on feel impossible
- Practical tools like cord cutting and mindset shifts to help you reclaim your life
Iād love to hear your thoughts after you listen! Do let me know which block resonates with you the most, and what youāre doing to overcome it. Weāre all in this together, and Iām here to support you every step of the way.
I hope you take something away from the episode, and please, if you do enjoy it, please please please help a gal out and rate and review the episode! Thank you š„°
And if youāre wanting to go even more into clearing what holds us back, why not check out Octoberās book in the Divorce Book Club: How to Feel Better: 4 Steps to Self-Coach your way to a Happier, more Authentic Life, by Ruth Kudzi.
You can check out the book here:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1801292582/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
Ruth is an amazing Coach who Iāve met and she just has SO Much knowledge ā¤ļø
The book blurb states:
When we feel broken we look to be fixed, we consume books, have therapy, diet, whatever it takes! BUT true self development is not about being 'fixed' it's about accepting the parts of yourself and then enhancing who we already are.
Focusing on evidence-based approaches, Ruth will teach you how to not just read about, but truly integrate personal development work. She'll take you through 4 key questions that encourage both self-reflection and include action-oriented tasks that will help you create sustainable results.
1. What do you want?
2. Where are you now?
3. How do you get to where you want to be?
4. How do you stay there?
Iād love to see you over there š
We start on 1 October.
Link to join below ā¬ļø
Do let me know if you want any more details about the book club - or indeed about anything divorce/break-up related.
Until next week then you absolute QUEEN š sending you loads of love,
Sarah x
šø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
OK so this week is a bit of a hopefully powerful, but definitely no-holds-barred conversation about reclaiming your strength and exposing male privilege in relationships. I may go ever so slightly off-piste on my soapbox (!) but I genuinely feel that it is important that we talk about this stuff.
We talk in the episode about how male privilege impacts not just relationships, but society as a whole. What are the āmodernā views on gender norms? And what does this mean for power and control of women? We touch on issues like the rise of the "trad wife" trend and how societal shifts still struggle to break free from patriarchal values.
Using the Power and Control Wheel, we look at the influence of male privilege in abusive dynamics and how this can fuel this control over women - but also how this is almost facilitated by our societal culture.
As a bit of an intro to all of this, we also touch on why Friday the 13th is secretly a day of female power (and how to reclaim it!) š
Whether youāre navigating the challenges of divorce, supporting a friend through it, or simply interested in a bit of thought-provoking conversation on how women can reclaim their power, challenge traditional roles, and rewrite their stories, especially post-divorce, this episode offers some insights into recognising different forms of control and inspiring women to take charge of their lives with confidence.
This is an example of the Power and Control Wheel:
https://www.norfolk.gov.uk/article/43699/Power-and-control-wheel
Also, as always, please please please do seek the proper support:
Women's Aid: Offers support services and a directory of local domestic abuse services.
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
Refuge: Provides emergency housing, support, and advocacy for women and children escaping domestic violence.
https://refuge.org.uk/
National Domestic Abuse Helpline: A 24-hour helpline offering confidential support and advice.
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/contact-us/
These are all UK based ones but please do look out for support services in the country/State you are in.
I hope you take something away from the episode, and please, if you do enjoy it, please please please help a gal out and rate and review the episode! Thank you š„°
And if youāre wanting to go even more into taking back our power and owning our independence, why not check out Septemberās book (Getting Past your Breakup by Susan J Elliott) in the Divorce Book Club; the link is down below ā¬ļø
Do let me know if you want any more details about the book club - or indeed about anything divorce/break-up related.
Until next week then you absolute QUEEN š sending you loads of love,
Sarah x
šø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
Ever wish you could rewrite the past? Sadly, we canāt turn back time, but we can definitely rewrite our futureāand thatās exactly what weāre diving into today.
In this episode, I break down Dr. Ramani Durvasulaās game-changing book, āItās Not Youā. This book is an absolute MUST-read if youāve ever found yourself tangled up with a narcissist, whether itās an ex, a parent, or even a boss.
In this overview of the book, we pull out the different types of narcissism, and look at how to identify these toxic traits; as well as the devastating impact they can have, and most importantly, how to reclaim your life.
If youāre ready to stop playing the narcissistās game and start writing your own story, this episode is for you.
I hope you take something away from the episode, and please, if you do enjoy it, please please please help a gal out and rate and review the episode! Thank you š„°
And if youāre wanting to go deeper into this book or any of the past books - plus get VIP access to Septemberās book (Getting Past your Breakup by Susan J Elliott) the link is down below ā¬ļø
Do let me know if you want any more details about the book club - or indeed about anything divorce/break-up related.
Until next week then, sending you loads of love,
Sarah x
šø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
After a divorce, many of us expect the worst of our emotional struggles to be over. But, as I've come to understand through my own journey and conversations with others, the first relationship after a divorce can bring a heartbreak thatās unexpected and uniquely f*cking painful.
In this episode, I dive into why this post-divorce heartbreak can feel even more intense than the divorce itself. I explore the emotional layers involved, from unresolved trauma to the pressures we put on ourselves to find happiness again. Most importantly, I discuss ways to navigate this pain and use it as a catalyst for healing and growth.
I hope you take something away from the episode, and please, if you do enjoy it, please please please help a gal out and rate and review the episode! Thank you š„°
And if youāre ready for next level healing and truly turning the divorce plot twist into a magical happily ever after, why not come and join us in the Divorce Book Clubā¦.
We start Septemberās book on 1 September but all back episodes are there for all members to catch up if you need it.
So Septemberās book isā¦.. (drum roll)
Getting Past your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You by Susan J Elliott.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0738213284/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
The blurb says:
Itās overāand it really hurts. But as unbelievable as it may seem when you are in the throes of heartache, you can move past your breakup. Forget about trying to win your ex back. Forget about losing yourself and trying to make this person love you. Forget it! Starting today, this breakup is the best time to change your life for the better, inside and out.
Getting Past Your Breakup is a proven roadmap for overcoming the painful end of any romantic relationship, even divorce. Through her workshops and popular blog, Susan Elliott has helped thousands of clients and readers transform their love lives. Now, sheāll help you put your energy back where it belongsāon you. Her plan includes:
ā¢ The rules of disengagement: how and why to go āno contactā with your ex
ā¢ How to work through grief, move past fear, and take back your life
ā¢ The secret to breaking the pattern of failed relationships
ā¢ What to do when you canāt stop thinking about your ex, texting, calling, checking social networking sites, or driving by the houseNow, THAT sounds like a super build to me! Do let me know if you want any more details about the book club - or indeed about anything divorce/break-up related.
The link to join etc. is also below ā¬ļø
Until next week then, sending you loads of love,
Sarah x
šø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
In this episode of "The Divorce Chapter" podcast, I reflect on the challenges of coping with anniversaries after a divorce. As someone who's been through the utter shitshow of a marriage ending, I know first-hand how difficult these days can be, especially in that first year.
Anniversaries, such as your wedding date or other significant milestones shared with your ex, can bring a FLOOD of emotionsāsadness, anger, or even a sense of loss for the future you once planned.
I delve into why these dates are so emotionally charged, and how they can trigger feelings of grief and nostalgia. I also share my own experiences with significant anniversaries, like how I dealt with my first wedding anniversary post-divorce by escaping to Cyprus and then making a decision to change my goddamn life.
Hopefully youāll be able to get a few ideas too about how to plan ahead to reclaim the date and reclaim gorgeous YOU ā¤ļø
In the episode, I also celebrate a new anniversary - the first one of this podcast. I never ever thought Iād be saying that but here we are and itās all thanks to you as a wonderful listener.
Thank you thank you thank you š„°
Hereās to another year of our next chapter šø
So much love,
Sarah x
P.S. Weāve also chosen Septemberās book over in the Divorce Book Club.
Getting Past your Breakup by Susan J Elliott has cropped up on my TBR list for the book club several times so it must be a sign š
The blurb says:
Itās overāand it really hurts. But as unbelievable as it may seem when you are in the throes of heartache, you can move past your breakup. Forget about trying to win your ex back. Forget about losing yourself and trying to make this person love you. Forget it! Starting today, this breakup is the best time to change your life for the better, inside and out.
You can check out the book here:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0738213284/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
Iād love to see you over there šWe start 1 September.
Link to join below ā¬ļø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
In this episode, I look into the often-overlooked signs of abuse in relationships (after touching on Betrayal Blindness too). Abuse isn't always obvious; it can be subtle, manipulative, and deeply damaging. Thatās why Iāve highlighted 15 key indicators that you or someone you know might be in an abusive relationship.
1. Physical Violence
2. Verbal Abuse
3. Emotional Manipulation (plus DARVO explained)
4. Isolation
5. Control
6. Jealousy
7. Blame Shifting
8. Intimidation.
9. Financial Abuse
10. Sexual Abuse
11. Gaslighting
12. Threats
13. Punishing Behaviour
14. Digital/Technology Abuse
15. Unpredictable Behaviour
Each of these signs is a red flag in a relationship and can lead to a destructive cycle of abuse. My aim in this episode is to help recognise the signs and the patterns, whether thatās in your own relationships or in those around you. I really want to empower listeners to identify and break free from these harmful dynamics.
But I do know itās not easy to get out and I also know that post separation abuse is another added worryā¦. So please please please do seek the proper support:
Women's Aid: Offers support services and a directory of local domestic abuse services.https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
Refuge: Provides emergency housing, support, and advocacy for women and children escaping domestic violence.
https://refuge.org.uk/
National Domestic Abuse Helpline: A 24-hour helpline offering confidential support and advice.
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/contact-us/
These are all UK based ones but please do look out for support services in the country/State you are in.And also, this month in the Divorce Book Club we are reading Itās Not You: How to Identify and Heal from Narcissistic People by Dr Ramani Durvasula. Dr Ramani is an expert in narcissistic abuse (including non-intimate relationships like a parent or your boss) and this book is also amazing for highlighting abuse in relationships. You can check out the book here:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1785045024/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
Iād love to see you over there š
We started 1 August (but itās never too late to join as access to all previous books and chapters available to all members)
Link to join below ā¬ļø
So until next week,
Sending you SO much love and please take care of you
Sarah x
šø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
In this episode of "The Divorce Chapter" podcast, we welcome the brilliant Chantelle Dyson, a certified life coach, educator, speaker, and podcast host.
Chantelle, who divorced in her 20s after only a year of marriage, shares her journey of self-discovery and personal growth.
She discusses the societal pressures that often dictate life choices, such as marriage and children, and emphasises the importance of understanding and defining happiness on our own terms.
Chantelle explains how her divorce prompted a deep dive into personal development, leading her to slow down and embrace a more intentional and fulfilling life. She also touches on the challenges of loneliness, particularly the kind that stems from not sharing meaningful experiences with others, and offers insights into how she has navigated these feelings.
Throughout the episode, Chantelle's story is one of resilience and empowerment, encouraging us to take control of our lives and make conscious, fulfilling choices.
The books that Chantelle recommends in the episode:
Lost Connections by Johann Hari
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1408878720/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
You were not born to suffer Blake D Bauerhttp://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1525246119/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
And you can find Chantelle here:www.chantellethecoach.com
And on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/chantellethecoach/
I hope you love hearing Chantelle talk as much as I loved chatting with her š
So until next week,
Sending you SO much love
Sarah x
šø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
In this episode of The Divorce Chapter podcast, Iāve been a bit inspired by my 52nd birthday tomorrow, and so giving you "52 Things to Do on Your Own."
Following my divorce, I had to really relearn being on my own, and this escalated even more in the Panny-D. Now, I want to inspire you to find your own joy in alone time, whether you're navigating life after a breakup or simply looking to embrace your independence.
In this episode, you'll discover:
- Practical suggestions for enriching your solo time
- Self-care practices that rejuvenate your spirit
- Creative ideas to ignite your passions
- Adventurous activities to push your boundaries
Some ideas are as simple as taking a peaceful walk or reading a book, while others are more adventurous like planning a solo holiday or exploring an art gallery. This list is all about finding what makes you happy and reclaiming your independence.
I used a previous social media post on this so have linked this here for ease (and as I referenced it):
https://www.instagram.com/p/CeT5pyeDEJJ/?img_index=1
So have a listen to get inspired and perhaps add a few new activities to your own list. Whether you're newly single or just looking for ways to enjoy your own company, this episode hopefully offers plenty of ideas to keep you entertained and fulfilled.Oh, and in the episode I mention a Nutella Cheesecake so sharing this here š„°
You will need:
1 tub of Nutella
Bag of chocolate digestive biscuits
A little bit of butter
2 tubs of cream cheese
1) Put 250 grams of the biscuits in a bowl - bash them up until crumb like (just think of it as your exās head š)
2) Melt a spoonful of butter and mix that with the biscuits
3) Put a tablespoon of Nutella in the biscuit mix and mix together
4) Put the biscuit mix in a tin and put it in the fridge whilst you make the cheesy chocolatey bit
5) Put both tubs of cream cheese in a bowl and mix the rest of the Nutella together
6) Once all mixed together and it tastes good, put it on top of the biscuit mix
7) Leave in the fridge overnight and bish bash bosh you are done ā¤ļø
You can put a chocolate orange on top or grate white chocolate on top but whatever you want!!
So, do enjoy that. You can always eat it whilst reading the book for August in the book club too š
Itās Not You: How to Identify and Heal from Narcissistic People by Dr Ramani Durvasula. Dr Ramani is an expert in narcissistic abuse (including non-intimate relationships like a parent or your boss!)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1785045024/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
Iād love to see you over there š
We started 1 August (but never too late to join as access to all previous books and chapters available to all members)
Link to join below ā¬ļø
So until next week,
Sending you SO much love
Sa
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
In this episode of The Divorce Chapter, I look at finding "happily ever after" after divorce, particularly focusing on the potential for new relationships and maybe even saying āI doā again.
Inspired by my goddaughter's wedding today, I reflect on the value of love and commitment, even after the heartbreak of a failed marriage. My marriage broke down because my ex-husband didnāt value marriage as I did, not because marriage itself is screwed as a concept.
In this episode, I share some personal anecdotes, practical advice, and uplifting insights to help you think about navigating the world of new relationships post-divorce.
Hereās a sneak peek of what we cover:
- The importance of taking time to heal
- Rediscovering and loving yourself first
- Setting boundaries and knowing your worth
- The necessity of vulnerability in building new relationships
- Practical steps to move forward with an open heart
āEvery relationship is unique, and just because one marriage didnāt work out doesnāt mean the concept of marriage is flawed.ā
I honestly believe that our past doesnāt define our future, and thereās always hope for a beautiful new chapter in our lives. Whether you're resolutely single like me or if you do want to venture into marriage 2.0, this episode has something for everyone.
I hope you enjoy it šø
(and if you do love it then please please please could you rate and review the episode too š)
Sending you SO much love
Sarah x
šø
P.S. For more on moving on a creating our new chapter, we have chosen Augustās book over in the Divorce Book Club;
Itās Not You: How to Identify and Heal from Narcissistic People by Dr Ramani Durvasula. Dr Ramani is an expert in narcissistic abuse (including non-intimate relationships like a parent or your boss!)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1785045024/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
Iād love to see you over there š
We start 1 August
Link to join below ā¬ļø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
In this episode, we take a look at hyper-independence, a common but often overlooked issue that many of us face after going through a divorce.
It maybe starts as a new found independence and autonomy after breaking free from a co-dependent toxic relationshipā¦. But soon ends up going to the other extreme where we refuse to ask for help, and become SO self-reliantā¦. To the point it can just get too overwhelming.
If youāve ever found yourself feeling like you need to handle EVERYTHING on your own, this episode is for you.
What to Expect in This Episode:
Understanding Hyper-Independence: What is hyper-independence and how does it differ from healthy self-reliance?I share my own journey from codependency to hyper-independence and some of the lessons Iāve learned along the way in getting back to healthy independence.Learn actionable strategies to strike a balance of healthy independence.Divorce can be a challenging journey, but you really donāt have to navigate it alone.
This episode is packed with insights and advice to help you find your path to healthy independence and emotional well-being.
I hope you enjoy it šø
(and if you do love it then please please please could you rate and review the episode too š)
Sending you SO much love
Sarah x
šø
P.S. For more on moving on a creating our new chapter, we have chosen Augustās book over in the Divorce Book Club;
Itās Not You: How to Identify and Heal from Narcissistic People by Dr Ramani Durvasula. Dr Ramani is an expert in narcissistic abuse (including non-intimate relationships like a parent or your boss!)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1785045024/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
Iād love to see you over there š
We start 1 August
Link to join below ā¬ļø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
In this weekās episode of The Divorce Chapter podcast, I had a fantastic conversation with Elisa Lindstrom, a decluttering expert and founder of "Dear Loves Just Breathe."
In our discussion, Elisa shares her personal journey, where she began her own decluttering journey amidst a challenging divorce.
Elisa's insights into the emotional and practical aspects of decluttering are invaluable, especially for those navigating a difficult divorce.
Key Highlights:
- The emotional challenges of decluttering during a divorce.
- Practical tips on what to declutter (and what not to).
- Handling emotionally charged items like wedding photos and gifts.
- Creating a peaceful and intentional home environment post-divorce.
- Information on Elisaās decluttering programs.
Elisa emphasizes the importance of intentionally creating a home that feels safe and full of love, which is essential during and after a divorce. Her advice is not just about organising your space but also about finding peace and reconnecting with yourself.
Donāt forget to check out her website too for more information on her decluttering programmes.
www.dearlovesjustbreathe.com
The book Elisa mentions in the episode too is:
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0809225379/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
I hope you enjoy the episode - and if you do, please share it with someone who might benefit from it ā¤ļø
Loads of Love
Sarah x
šø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
In this empowering episode, we go deep into the concepts of self-care, self-love, and self-worth, and explore how they are crucial in overcoming codependency, especially in the aftermath of divorce.
We cover:
šThe FabergĆ© Egg Analogy: Learn how to recognise and protect your unique value.
šUnderstanding Key Concepts: Differentiate between self-care, self-love, and self-worth, and understand their importance in your healing journey.
šBreaking Free from Codependency: Discover practical steps to reclaim your self and set healthy boundaries.
This episode is all about helping you to see your value, practice self-care, and embrace self-love as you navigate life post-divorce.And most of all, help you find that fuck YES energy to turn the divorce plot twist into happy ever after šŖ
Thank you for listening to the episodeā¦. If you enjoy it, Iād love it if youād leave a review and/or share the show with someone you think it would help š„°
I want everyone to find themselves again (especially given each of us are 1 in 400 trillion š¤·š½āāļø)
Loads of Love
Sarah x
šø
P.S. We started a new book in the Divorce Book Club this week but youāre never too late to join.
How to Do You by Jacqueline Hurstā¦.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B098GSZ11T/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
If you fancy joining us, check it out here ā¬ļø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter -
Send us a text
In this episode of the Divorce Chapter podcast, I dive deep into the often overlooked and insidious issue of financial abuse.
I share my own experience of being financially controlled and manipulated by my ex-husband and discuss how financial abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of age, gender, or economic status.
Youāll hear about the various forms it can take, from controlling access to money and sabotaging employment to accumulating debt in someone elseās name.
I delve into the warning signs to watch for, the profound impact it can have on victims, and the steps you can take to protect yourself or someone you know.
Whether youāre currently experiencing financial abuse, suspect it might be happening, or simply want to be informed, this episode is packed with valuable insights and resources.
Women's Aid: Offers support services and a directory of local domestic abuse services.
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
Refuge: Provides emergency housing, support, and advocacy for women and children escaping domestic violence.
https://refuge.org.uk/
National Domestic Abuse Helpline: A 24-hour helpline offering confidential support and advice.
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/contact-us/
Turn2us is a national charity offering information and practical support to people facing financial insecurity.
https://www.turn2us.org.uk/
Tune in to understand how financial abuse works, how to recognise it, and most importantly, how to protect yourself and seek help.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone wanting to learn more about this critical issue and how to safeguard against it.
PLEASE reach out if you need support šø
Sending you SO much love
Sarah x
šø
P.S. For more on moving on a creating our new chapter, we have chosen Julyās book over in the Divorce Book Club; itās How to Do You by Jacqueline Hurst; you can check it out here -http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B098GSZ11T/ref=nosim?tag=thedivorceb00-21
Iād love to see you over there š
We start 1 July.
Link to join below ā¬ļø
THE DIVORCE BOOK CLUB
https://patreon.com/thedivorcebookclub
FREE Guide to the 10 MUST read divorce books after divorce
https://thedivorcebookclub.com/free-resources/
INSTAGRAM
https://www.instagram.com/thedivorcechapter - Mostra di più
