Episodi
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lovely listeners of the lavender menace!!! thank you so much for being so patient and eager for our return. after yet another unintentional multi-month long hiatus, we have sooo much to share with y'all. (+ a reminder to keep emailing us your hot takes to our email inbox @ [email protected])
this episode's hot takes include lamenting gay people's ignorance of queer history, telling y'all that you shouldn't ask us for job advice, and reiterating the importance of reading Stone Butch Blues
brat summer is over now, but we hope the woke media allows for us to give you all our brat review...! spoiler: we love it. especially girl so confusing ft. lorde.
timestamp - 37:42 brat ranking begins
Renaissance's Kamala Harris essay: https://open.substack.com/pub/thelavendermenace/p/american-politics-or-the-lack-thereof
our friend Matt's brat album review that Sunny references: https://tunnelcity.substack.com/p/brat-new-words
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table of contents:
1. Good Luck Babe! is so fucking goodddddd
2. is Chappell Roan queer? bi? lesbian?!
3. recommendations to get your Gen X mom (who doesn't read books) to care about feminist and lesbian shit
4. hot take: straight people shouldn't be using certain gay terms
5. pre-Sunnaissance Sunnaissance instagram DMs
6. "queer" as identity label vs. being gay and going outside
7. our review of Cowboy Carter... and our song rankings. TLDL: underwhelming and disappointing
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Episodi mancanti?
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Reviewing inane comments under Sunny's video "The Problem With Lesbian Romance" https://youtu.be/AkGbysZRB_w?si=Y9jqARsgJTQp6ZWJ & talking about how Renaissance's interpretation of the 2001 lesbian rom-com Kissing Jessica Stein is the one true understanding of the film. Get bonus episodes & early access on our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheLavenderMenace
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Hello listeners! Here is a new episode where we talk about feminism at length… who’s surprised? But before we get into the feminism of it all, we discuss various facets and corners in the world of media piracy and consuming digital content in response to a listener email.
We continue to wonder how observations and opinions that lead us to receive so much internet hate are now popular takes to have and peddle out again and again. We also talk about at length the importance of feminism and learning from various branches of feminism. TLDR: We are communists and we are feminists but that does not make us exclusively marxist-feminists. We kinda cover all the bases on women’s issues for this episode. Let us know what you think by emailing or DMing us.
For the media this episode, we discuss our memory of and thoughts on Jen Beagin’s novel Big Swiss. Renaissance read it just a couple months before the episode recording and l Sunny read a couple years ago. Has our love for unhinged lesbians struck again? Listen to find out!
At the end of the episode Sunny recommends Come And Get It by Kiley Reid and Renaissance recommends the seminal documentary Paris is Burning (1990). Listen to the end of the episode to hear our pitches.
Thank you again for listening!
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It's our year end wrap up episode! Discussing the movies, music, and books consumed in 2023.
episode timestamps:
Intro 0:00
11:00 movies! Number of films watched compared to previous years, Letterboxd stats/logs, watching each other’s recommendations or watching films together like The Children’s Hour, Duck Butter, Theater Camp, Born in Flames,and Bottoms. Renaissance watched Studio Ghibli for the first time and has unpopular opinions (disliked Spirited Away which is a childhood favorite of Sunny’s)
33:14 sex and the city, orientalism, which derry girls character we are, more movies
44:42 we need to talk about Bottoms. Also gay movies (Shiva Baby in theaters!) Shiva Baby vs. Bottoms. Plus Sunny’s standout films of the year, Poor Things (2023), Robot Dreams (2023), The Zone of Interest (2023)
1:04:04 current music flops
1:09:41 our Spotify wrapped stats and songs
1:51:51 Breaking up with Taylor swift </3
1:57:40 books of 2023
2:01:56 stone butch blues
2:29:02 pod updates :)
Thanks for joining us for this episode! Find us on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/TheLavenderMenacePod, Substack https://thelavendermenace.substack.com, Letterboxd https://letterboxd.com/thelavenderpod/, & Twitter https://twitter.com/TheLavenderPod. Send your hot takes to thelavendermenacepodcast at gmail dot com. Support us on Patreon for bonus content and early access: https://www.patreon.com/TheLavenderMenace
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Post-hiatus episode recorded in the summer for our beloved listeners! In which we discuss a listener-submitted hot-take about misogyny within leftist discourse and the failure of people to effectively address patriarchy or take sexism seriously. Then we hard-shifted to a hot-take about making lesbian friends, trying to date women as a woman using dating apps flooded with straight women, and the lesbian dating landscape within the scope of Twitter and the Internet. Of course, for media, we discussed our thoughts on Barbie (2023) and all the discourse that was surrounding it after its immediate release. In the spirit of the shortcomings of the film, Renaissance recommends the John Waters' film Hairspray (1988) and Sunny recommends the literary fiction novel Dykette by Jenny Fran Davis, which is a bit controversial!
Thanks for joining us for this episode! You can find us on Twitter, YouTube, Substack, Instagram, Tik Tok, and Letterboxd if you want to connect! Send your hot takes to [email protected] and support us on Patreon for bonus content and early access: https://www.patreon.com/TheLavenderMenace
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Uncut livestream recording where we discuss the genocide against Palestinians we are witnessing right now and countering of Zionist propaganda. From student organizing to the non-existence of American democracy, this moment of mass, unprecedented radicalization regarding settler colonialism and capitalism has been incredible to witness. https://bdsmovement.net/
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It's time to revisit Olivia Rodrigo, and the potential beef regarding her and other female artists (that we kind of know nothing about.) What we do know is that we fuck with Vampire! And we do not fuck with Morgan Wallen, because truly, who the fuck is he??? Listener submitted hot-takes for this episode include: Am I the asshole, work friends edition, lesbophobic bisexual friends, the isolation of being a lesbian in STEM, and the politics of calling yourself a femme. Can bisexual women call themselves femmes? Why are femme lesbians protective of the usage of that terminology? Who has the power to determine whether other people can or should use certain labels or not? And for our shared media review and analysis of this episode, we discuss a 1971 film called Harold and Maude, and lament contemporary film-making at length. They don't make real ass original movies anymore!!! Renaissance is an aspiring Letterboxd influencer, and you should follow them on there @disobedientgays. Sunny talks Storygraph vs. Goodreads and we get into the efficacy of half star reviews, before getting into recommendations, where Renaissance recommends the 1958 German film Girls in Uniform, and Sunny recommends the non-fiction essay collection Lesbian Choices by Claudia Card. Thanks for joining us for this episode! You can find us on Twitter, YouTube, Substack, Instagram, Tik Tok, and Letterboxd. Send your hot takes to [email protected] and support us on Patreon for bonus content and early access: https://www.patreon.com/TheLavenderMenace
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Shorter episode for y'all!!! Featuring: boygenius concert etiquette hot-take and trying to beat the annoying teenager allegations, and discussing the relevancy and role of "Taylor's Version" album rereleases. Controversial listener submitted opinion: idgaf. Of course, gaylor content re: The (gay) Way I Loved You, Hayley Kiyoko and Taylor's relationship, leading us to consider whether perhaps Taylor Swift is the Eliza of her lesbian friends?!! Sunny pours one out for the situationship proletariat (FOOLISH ONE vault track), and Renaissance brings up some notes on certain Speak Now (Taylor's Version) tracks... namely, that there are elements missing and we are suffering from it. To round out the episode, we talk about some apps we've been using and that you should (or should not) also use. Thanks for joining us for this episode! You can find us on Twitter, YouTube, Substack, Instagram, Tik Tok, and Letterboxd if you want to connect! Send your hot takes to [email protected] and support us on Patreon for bonus content and early access: https://www.patreon.com/TheLavenderMenace
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In this Sunnaissance IRL (California edition!) episode, we're discussing post-modern gender theory and queer/feminist studies in response to a listener-submitted hot take about the counterrevolutionary nature of contemporary usage of 'nonbinary' identity. We talk about Judith Butler and other feminists theorizing around gendered oppression and its relevance and role in social discourse over the decades. We do get into whacking the she/they's who say inane shit like "my boyfriend (a cis het man btw) is fruity for dating me because i use they/them pronouns" and "i want to look like a boy in a dress" vs. the material reality of gender non-conformity and gender transition. Sunny brings up a bad tweet thread from a they/them lesbian speaking over a trans woman dunking on overly online trans discourse. In response to another emailed hot take, we talk about the ridiculousness of opposing Palestinian liberation in the name of the (nonexistent) LGBT rights granted by israel, and the occupation's supposed defense of 'human rights,' being 'the only democracy in the middle east' (lmao). Very unserious talking points that are deeply entrenched in the american political sphere. For shared media analysis we discuss the very fun movie Party Girl (1995), while lamenting the state of contemporary filmmaking (as we always do). Renaissance recommends the artist Remi Wolf, and Sunny recommends the deranged woman novel- set in Riverside, California! Where Renaissance recently graduated from if you missed that- Exalted by Anna Dorn. Thanks for joining us for this episode! You can find us on Twitter, YouTube, Substack, Instagram, Tik Tok, and Letterboxd if you want to connect! Send your hot takes to [email protected] and support us on Patreon for bonus content and early access: https://www.patreon.com/TheLavenderMenace
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Happy pride month! The hot takes for this episode feature a very belated discussion on the Matty Healy x Taylor Swift controversy, our response to a listener's questioning of their own identity as a lesbian, and offering advice on reading difficult texts— basically how to read theory!!! We also discuss our perspectives as POC on the constant presence of white people's racism, with Renaissance's unique view as someone growing up surrounded by white family members. In response to another hot take, we discuss (in the vein of Taylor's dalliances with Matty Healy) the ethics of consuming problematic artists’ art— especially as it relates pop music and the film industry and how much whose art you consume reflects your politics. When Woody Allen gets brought up, Sunny reads an excerpt from the novel Post-traumatic by Chantal V. Johnson that features a conversation at a dinner party about discourse surrounding consuming the art of known abusers and rapists. For the shared media analysis portion of this episode, we list and discuss every piece of media present in our queer American literature syllabi, ranging from Willa Cather to Carmen Maria Machado, while also discussing pieces of media such as Audre Lorde's essay collection Sister Outsider, the documentary on depicting transness in Hollywood called Disclosure, and much much more. Michael Bronski's A Queer History of the United States made up many of Sunny's assigned readings for class, and (spoiler alert!!!) very bad lectures and discussions were had in Renaissance's class. At the end of the episode, Renaissance recommends the early 2000s lesbian rom-com Kissing Jessica Stein (2001), and Sunny jointly recommends the film Daisies (1966) and the Jen Beagin novel Big Swiss. Thanks for joining us for this episode! You can find us on Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, Substack, Tik Tok, and Letterboxd if you want to connect! Send your hot takes to [email protected] and support us on Patreon for bonus content and early access: https://www.patreon.com/TheLavenderMenace
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Hello Beloved listeners (a little nod to the butchfemme zine you should totally check out the first 2 issues + adorable lesbian merch of belovedzine.com)! Here is a special liminal space episode for you (post-break Taylor break up but before this M*tty H**ly mess)! Our hot-takes this episode are all bound by GAYLOR! This episode was recorded pre-Matty Healy's... inclusion into Taylor Swift's rotation but after her breakup from Joe, but we WILL be talking about the former soon, on Patreon (same place where we talked about Joe breakup Gaylor implications.) This episode is a hot-take exclusive one. We respond to quite a few listeners' emails (submit yours to [email protected] to perhaps get it featured and discussed on a future episode!!!) and speak to the heart of gay Swiftian iconography and lyrical parallels as picked up by y'all, and how people on the internet really hate when we talk about it. The 1st hot-take is a close reading of Oscar Wilde and possible allusions/references to him in the Lavender Haze music video and lyrics. Very compelling observations for a brilliant listener <3 The 2nd hot-take is about the consequences of speculating sexualities and coming out/”outing” politics, as submitted by listeners who seem to literally be the embodiment of the Heartstopper British lesbians. We’re living in a time where coming out can both be self-serving (Pete Buttigieg) and possibly make you the victim of public hate crimes, and as LGBT people today it can be difficult to parse out where we fall. Our 3rd hot-take comes from a listener getting backlash on TikTok on their video close-reading lyrics in Lover. This sparks a conversation about heteronormativity and the dynamics between gaylors and “anti-gaylor” Swifties and homophobic harassment in fan spaces. We swiftly (tongue-and-cheek) transition towards questions about how fans who grew up with Taylor view her versus how kids today see Taylor (new wave of 2nd generation Swifties, who is scared?) Our 4th hot-take comes from a hashtag Real Femme who witnessed what they refer to as Swiftgate in real time. AKA our most recent cancellation in which for multiple days in a row, Twitter was dogpiling and harassing us. This listener raises an important question: are Taylor haters more annoying than even the most insufferable gaylors? We say YES but feel free to come to your own conclusions. Part 2 of the hot-take speaks to 'sapphic spaces' and different manifestations of lesbophobia in queer spaces. The attitude that lesbians are automatically probably hostile towards trans people draws, most likely, from the tenuous idea of radical feminism and lesbian spaces in the 20th century. Essentially, people need to learn their history and read more theory and shit... Not like we've said that before.
Thanks for joining us for this episode! You can find us on Twitter https://twitter.com/TheLavenderPod, Substack https://thelavendermenace.substack.com/, Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thelavendermenacepod/, Tik Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@thelavendermenacepod, and Letterboxd https://letterboxd.com/thelavenderpod/ if you want to connect!
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Hello listeners! New episode for you! We respond to a hot take about top/bottom distinctions in the lesbian community from an “elder gay” and how it differs from historically rooted high femme/stone butch identities. Ultimately, these labels exist to describe and identify sexual preference and compatibility. Also, disclaimer– although Sunny talks about penetrative sex primarily, that's not necessarily what all lesbian sex looks like lol. Our second hot take is responding to the idea of “beauty neutrality” and the myth of “inclusive standards of beauty.” Our shared media this episode is SZA’s discography! As usual, we go from bottom to top with our song rankings and give explanations for different placements along the way. Sunny is a top SZA streamer and Renaissance is a new listener so no matter your own familiarity with SZA’s work, you’ll still be able to engage. We end the episode with recommendations. Sunny recommends a hyperpop-y artist (à la FKA twigs) shygirl. Renaissance recommends Mae Martin’s new Netflix stand-up comedy special SAP. Hope you all enjoy this episode and once again please email us your thoughts and hot takes at [email protected] and find more of us here: Patreon Twitter Instagram Youtube
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Heyyyyyy and welcome to episode 18 of season 4. A few of you listeners sent in some fun and interesting queer discourse related questions, so we get into the social consequences, ramifications, implications etc. of the lesbian masterdoc and its circulation across the internet, especially towards the beginning of the pandemic. Relatedly, we discuss the nature of "comphet" in how it's being used and thrown around by people in ways that are deeply questionable, and compulsory heterosexuality's origin as a term in contrast to its use in day to day rhetoric contemporarily. We also talk about the ethics of taking a college class about Marxism or communism and reading theory for class. Another hot take included an opinion on gay men being tokenized by women vs. lesbian isolation experiences (hence, more queer discourse.) Our shared media we watched for this episode was the new Rian Johnson of Knives Out (we reviewed Glass Onion in a Patreon bonus episode here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/our-glass-onion-77444305 we also have a recently uploaded episode reviewing each other's media recommendations from the end portions of previous episodes!! Check it out baes) project, starring Natasha Lyonne— Poker Face, available on Peacock (or anywhere you can find it on the internet. Who said that??) Also, Alice Ju, you are a genius. For media recommendations, Sunny tells listeners and Renaissance to read Quicksand by Nella Larsen, and we complain about not being able to consume as much media. We haven't been reading books or watching movies or TV like we used to and it's really sad!!! But such is life... Thanks for joining us for this episode! You can find us on Twitter, YouTube, Substack, Instagram, Tik Tok, and Letterboxd if you want to connect! Send your hot takes to [email protected] and support us on Patreon for bonus content and early access: https://www.patreon.com/TheLavenderMenace
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Welcome to episode 17 of season 4, in which we answer 3 listener submitted hot takes. The first hot take we talk about #StopCopCity and the frustrations that come from liberal and conservative pro-cop rhetoric, the break neck speed of the attention economy, and the goldfish memory of people who go through the same social justice learning every 2 years. The second hot take is an article submitted by a listener about a bisexual woman's feeling of isolation as a mom and wife in a cishet nuclear family suburban dynamic. What to do when you’re in that sticky cross section of knowing your identity but not knowing what it means? To be is an active verb my friends! The third hot take is a visit to a recurring motif on the pod: the perils of questioning your sexuality in high school. Godspeed young comrades! 🫡 Submit your hot-takes to [email protected] 💌🤓
The media we review is season one of HBOmax's ‘Sort Of.’ It is a queer Canadian TV show following the life of a non-binary Pakistani Sabi who works as a nanny and a bartender. Spoiler Alert: we did NOT enjoy it! Underrepresented protagonist does not a good show make.
For recommendations on this episode, Renaissance shares the short film Le Pupille (2022) dir. Alice Rohrwacher on Disney+, a sweet film about an all girls Catholic school. Perfect for those of you doing lent right now. Sunny recommends a contemporary novel: The Very Nice Box by Eve Gleichman and Laura Blackett (listen for the pitch at the end of the episode, it’s worth it).
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Helloooo lovely listeners of the pod! This is episode 16 of season 4 and even though the episode was recorded over a month ago, like our Marxist foremothers, we are topical as ever. Some shop talk at the top of the episode: 1) RIP to twitter account asunnybooknook (fly high… gone but never forgotten), 2) Renaissance substack essay 3) new butch-femme zine on the scene!
First we start with a hottake about how butch is not a dirty word. We love and support butches with the fervor of American Megachurch Televangelicalism and that is our God given duty. Everyone love your local butch! Secondly, we talk about the performance of “sapphism” in Fletcher and Miley Cyrus’s NYC performance. We explore the DYKEotomy of “out queer artists” versus “artists who make queer art.” TLDR; stop telling us to “stream out queer artists” when said queer artists are not as talented or gay as Taylor Swift. Last hottake is about “Stalinism” and people making their unwillingness to listen and learn YOUR problem in your space! Either get with the program or don’t act entitled to my time.
The joint media discussed is Something to Talk About by Meryl Wilsner. Sunny read the novel in 2021, recommended it in early 2022, and Renaissance read it in December 2023– and gets hot on the mic. Sorry, literary studies moment… Not all “representation” is good! But we already knew that. Sunny formally recommends Sedating Elaine by Dawn Winter, another dark modern contemporary evil woman dating woman novel (a classic genre). Renaissance recommends The Indie Movie™ Frances Ha (2012) directed by Noah Baumbach and starring Greta Gerwig. It’s possible that many of you have already watched this but we wanted to put it in the books.
Hope you all enjoy this episode and once again please email us your thoughts and hot takes!
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hello listeners! first i come to you with news of The Lavender Menace match making service currently live on the Patreon! SINGLES/NON-MONOG ONLY!!! also butches please fill out the form... the numbers are in your favor right now.
episode 15 of season 4 was filmed in december 2022 and is a part of the collection of Sunnaissance IRL video content. we respond to a hot take that references The Will to Change by bell hooks and the necessity of communicating with men. we return to the question of how to decenter men without falling into the fallacies of lesbian separatism (a really good question). then we respond to a hot take about bisexual people not having a slur and also the bi vs pan distinction when moving in online spaces.
our shared media portion of the episode is the Céline Sciamma directed film Petite Maman (2022). we were very excited to talk about this movie because we got to watch it on the big screen together in a theater to ourselves. we find ourselves at the beautiful intersection of Sunny's love for speculative fiction and Renaissance's love for French Romanticism (psst... read Renaissance's Taylor Swift x Romanticism essay on substack). it should not be a surprise that our passions overlap in a movie about mother-daughter relationships. a classic motif of the reviewed content here.
like usual, we end the episode recommending each other pieces of media. Renaissance recommends A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014) directed by Ana Lily Amirpour. It is a contemporary Iranian noir vampire film with a proclivity for showing feminist acts of violence. (yay!!) Sunny references The Never Learn by Layne Fargo in response to the film. Sunny recommends the (FRENCH) graphic novel Thieves by Lucie Bryon. "It's kind of like Heartstopper if it was French and for girls" - Sunny describing the book.
hope you enjoy this episode!
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Happy new year and welcome to episode 14 of season 4!!! It's the beginning of 2023, which means that it's time to reminisce on all the movies, books, shows, albums, and LGBT internet drama we discussed and reviewed in the previous year. But first, we answer a listener submitted hot-take from Clair, who tells us about their experiences with being accused of transphobia on the basis of being a lesbian while bisexuals are presumed to be trans allies by nature of their sexual identities. In discussing the sexualization of butches and mascs as it relates to issues of trans allyship, Sunny brings up our friend and oomf of the pod, @gabbyisbutch. We reflect on our album rankings of 2022 releases and whether our opinions have changed since recording our reviews, and add up the different forms of media we've consumed and discussed in previous episodes. For 2023, Renaissance pitches reading more bad books for our shared media portions of the pod, and Sunny pitches a dating app match-making situation for our listeners via Google Form. Let us know your thoughts by connecting with us on socials or emailing us at [email protected]. We go over our respective 2022 media consumption and reading/movie watching goals for 2023, with Renaissance logging 200+ films on Letterboxd and Sunny not hitting their Goodreads reading goal of 250 books. (They read 235.) Here's to another slayful media consumption and production year for The Lavender Menace! Thank you for joining us <3
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Catching up on some hot take submissions from the past couple months, we discuss the politics of "coming out," especially within the context of online queer fanbases bullying celebrities out of the closet re: Kit Connor (whom we mistakenly call the name of an American Girl Doll in this episode lol), Becky Albertalli, and the misusage of the term "queerbait" in the current media landscape. Sunny complains extensively about the popular liberal queer assimilationist politics especially as mediated by the internet, and references the following books this episode— The Society of the Spectacle by Guy DeBord, Lesbian Choices by Claudia Card, The Persistent Desire: A Butch-Femme Reader edited by Joan Nestle, and probably some other titles. We talk about using the word "dyke," the loneliness of lesbianism and isolation of navigating the world as someone who doesn't center men, history of autistic lesbians, and online queer community vs. IRL lesbian spaces (and the lack of them.) We discuss an essay collection we both adored but that Renaissance connected with on a spiritual and psychic level; Girls Can Kiss Now by Jill Gutowitz. We talk all about the lesbian pop culture hilarity it compasses, as well as how earnest and genuine the writing feels. Jill, please come on the podcast! For media recommendations, Sunny really enjoyed watching an Irish lesbian film A Date For Mad Mary (2016) in their COVID quarantine era, and Renaissance raves about Tár (2022). Thanks for joining us for this episode! You can find us on Twitter, YouTube, Substack, Instagram, Tik Tok, and Letterboxd if you want to connect! Send your hot takes to [email protected] and support us on Patreon for bonus content and early access: https://www.patreon.com/TheLavenderMenace
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Welcome to season 4, episode 12, in which we discuss a listener-submitted-hot-take regarding the difficulties of fatphobia and butch identity, leading us into a discussion on current standards of beauty and also butch/femme dynamics (DIRE!) in the lesbian dating scene. Also, link to gf's lesbian literature blog: https://bassabibliophile.weebly.com/ Sunny recommends the highly informative book "Fearing The Black Body" by Sabrina Strings for a deeper understanding of fatphobia in relationship to race and gender in history. Our second hot take comes from an international listener commenting on the asinine nature of discourse surrounding the ethics of sexuality speculation, which of course, we agree with. For the shared media review segment of the pod, we talk about how much we disliked Netflix's new teen movie 'Do Revenge' (2022), and how so many of the queer contemporary teen movies fall short of the classics. As a wholesome British lesbian book recommendation, Sunny talks about Iona Iverson's Rules For Commuting by Clare Pooley, and Renaissance recommends their own A League of Their Own inspired playlists. Sunny plays a game of trying to guess which Taylor Swift songs are on Renaissance's Carson x Greta playlist, found here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6JeK4NZdGfDy0G0FO3j6K1?si=547607d0c79c45e4 and Sunny plugs her 100 song gaylor playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3dJxgeQLqhVGU6ru4Gfeff?si=67869b653e2a4c66
Thanks for joining us for this episode! You can find us on Twitter, YouTube, Substack, Instagram, Tik Tok, and Letterboxd if you want to connect! Send your hot takes to [email protected] and support us on Patreon for bonus content and early access: https://www.patreon.com/TheLavenderMenace
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