Episodi
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Trigger Disclaimer: This episode contains information about sexual abuse.
This show offers up the extremely candid story of childhood sexual abuse, told through the lens of the same young man, now it mid adulthood. Having experienced abuse within his family, and amongst those they had trusted most, the young boy does eventually report his reality and then seen his abuser convicted and jailed. The storyteller explains to us how he ignored much of the trauma for the majority of his adult life without confronting the long term impacts of this horror.
It was only upon his own son reaching a similar age to his (when he first experiences the abuse) that the trauma and emotional turmoil rose up and led to a two year+ recovery.
My guest honestly shares his story today to help the parents of children everywhere. He actively works to help adults know what to look out for and how to help young people at risk in all areas of life. Not only does he share an honest reflection of his experience but he openly aids the listener in discovering how to recognise and support children facing trauma or abuse.
This show covers critical signs of trauma in children's behaviour, including what to watch for in physical and psychological changes. The speaker shares personal experiences that highlight the connection between childhood trauma and adult life, emphasising the role of open communication and vulnerability and how critical therapy is in the healing journey.
In some parts this is not an easy story to hear but it is deeply raw and powerful, and one that many will be able to learn empathy for and within. These conversations were unheard for a long time. Not anymore.
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Our Guest reveals his name at the end of the show and shares where you can find him:
https://johncardamone.com.au/
Get John's Free BeCalmer One Page Guide Here: https://johncardamone.com.au/free-disclosure-response-framework/
Find John on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-cardamone-86632738/
#empathy #Trauma #ChildhoodTrauma #MentalHealth #Parenting #Support
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What Interviewing a Suspected Serial Killer and His Victims Taught One Man About Empathy.
"The first time he called, I was home with family on a Saturday afternoon in 2022. I asked if he had time later to continue our conversation. âYeah, I have nothing planned,â he laughed."
It was a funny line. His name was Billy Chemirmir, and he was in the Dallas County jail awaiting trial on eighteen counts of capital murder.
In this candid and honest episode, this journalist talks to the honest reality and emotional turmoil of following the case of a Serial Killer and meeting his victims families for over 6 years. Talking about what this taught him about relationships and human behaviour this makes for an eye-opening story.
"Iâd spent years devoted to telling my readers about the mental and emotional scars these murders created. I wouldnât be doing my job if I didnât give Chemirmir a chance to comment on his own case. I believed the evidence against him was strong, but Iâve been wrong before. Iâd approached his victims with care and empathy. I had to try to offer him the same."
Chemirmir was serving his sentences in an East Texas prison when, one year ago on September 19, he was stabbed and beaten to death by his cellmate. He bled out overnight on the prison floor. His body wasnât found until the next morning. While the killer is gone, the trauma he left behind lingers. Our guest explains that he could never understand what he was thinking as he killed his victims but through empathy and patience, he asked those who do understand to help him explain the consequences of that trauma to othersâto tell their stories, with care and compassion.
My guest does announce his identity towards the end of the show and tells us about his own podcast unveiling the entire case as a crime drama podcast, The Unforgotten. I have started listening to it already and highly recommend it:
You can find the podcast on all the major platforms, but here's a good sharable link: link.chtbl.com/TheUnforgotten
You can find out more about our guest at charliescudder.com
The Texas Monthly story that introduced me to my guest is here: https://www.texasmonthly.com/news-politics/texas-serial-killer-trial-victims-empathy/
#empathy #journalism #ethics #serialkiller #murder #prison
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Episodi mancanti?
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Can you imagine waking up one day and being thrown out of the country you have grown up in? Can you imagine having to call your girlfriend to say "goodbye" and that you will never see her again, and then getting on a plane with only your father, leaving your mother and sister to be flown to an entirely different country to never see them again? Can you imagine the tenacity you need to be called an "alien" and not carry that as your identity?
My guest on this show sheds an unheard light on what it's like to live as an illegal immigrant in the USA. To avoid the law, to go under the radar and to watch your family be systematically tricked into revealing their status and then being imprisoned for doing so. With a deep sense of forgiveness, and an inspiring grit to get up and 'go again' he unpacks how he faced homelessness, loss and dejection and then turned it all around to build a career, a marriage and a new life.
The meaning of resilience may exist right here in this conversation.
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Can you imagine growing up in a home where you have to compete with your siblings in order to be able to eat, go to school, and sleep? Our guest today can, as that was her reality growing up in a polygamist home in Nigeria with eight siblings.
Growing up in the slums, our guest was exposed to young girls being raped and teenage pregnancies from an early age. While many may have accepted this reality to be their future, this ambitious young girl did not. She was determined to give herself an education and change her life, after being inspired by what she saw on television at her neighbour's home.
She would travel to school each morning, a little later than others as she had to sell bread rolls in the market to pay for her transport to school, determined to study and to go to university to get an education. Her hard work paid off as she was able to apply for and successfully receive a scholarship for her bachelor's degree in mathematics and statistics - no easy feat for a someone who literally paid for their own schooling as a child! However the difficulties had really only just began...
From sleeping in lecture halls, unable to afford accommodation, to working in a multi-level marketing firm due to the lack of job opportunities, our guest had to fight for survival as she went through university and ultimately got her degree. Today, she has come a long way to where she now plans on reading for a further master's degree in data science and finance as well as a PhD in order to build a startup that empowers young girls, teenagers, and female entrepreneurs.
What would you do if education was not considered to a human right for females but an uphill battle that most people lose? Would you fight to pay your own fees from as young as 9 years old. Tune in to hear how one woman fought for her own growth and ultimately is out there changing the world for the girls coming up behind her...âŠ
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Do women's lives always matter? It's a question with such a seemingly obvious answer and yet in so many parts of the world this is not a given. Our guests in this show shares her powerful - and yet often controversial - work in women's rights with specific focus on the right to choose an abortion, safely. She explains the stories of women from around the world who do not have the right to choose and the impact of abuse, rape and ill health on the ultimate lives of women everywhere.
Running an organisation that drives education as to the role of choice, in whether or not to continue with a pregnancy, she not only unpacks the stark reality for many women globally (imagine having to sneak into an illegal, unsafe, clinic to save your life for a pregnancy that will otherwise kill you?) but she gives us new data and insight into the journey ahead to equalise the lives of women and their unborn babies going forward.
If having a baby will result in your own death, should you have the right to end that pregnancy? Listen in to find out more....
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Can you imagine leaving home for work not knowing if you'd come back alive to your children and family? Every single day.
Today's guest faces that reality. The reality of not knowing whether she'd live to see another day as soon as she steps out of her home every day.
Living amidst The Anglophone Crisis where Cameroon is losing all of its sons and daughters in the conflict, our guest emphasises the need for dialogue in order for this Crisis to end.
Businesses are being shut down, leading to a drastic food and security problem, with increases in hunger making people more and more vulnerable, looking for any way out they can find. Crime rates, prostitution, and homelessness have increased because people are desperate.
It is in fact normal to find people living in caves, under trees, or in abandoned buildings, as these are the closest to safety shelters they can find after losing their homes, incomes, and caregivers.
Despite the horrifying reality that she faces on a daily basis, our guest urges the rest of the world to help support their journey to peace and help them by listening to the realities of the women and families in these communities as she believes that the journey begins with their voices reaching the world. How much longer can we ignore what is happening on the other side of the world? When will empathy lead to action?
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In this episode, we are joined by a woman living deep in Northern Nigeria with the terror of Boko Haram. She joins the show today because she sees her story as her superpower and that sharing her story far and wide is important for her because âYou never can tell who you are influencing, you never can tell who will empathise with your story and somehow make a change or be encouraged to do something.â
Our guest's story begins with her older brother who tragically passes away when she is just 17 years old. Even after his death, he continues to inspire her and she fondly remembers him as a shooting star that lived fast, brought warmth and left afterwards.
Where our guest lives, around one in every five girls have never been in school. She passionately shares why she sees education as being the basic tool to lead to meaningful change in her community's future and how she believes, quite rightly, that "... educating a girl changes everything."
Despite living in a violent and poverty driven reality, that could make it difficult to find positivity and inspiration, our guest shares how inspiring it is for young girls in her community to see other educated young women change their lives and confidently live their own path. She explains how such girls and women are seen as role models and why they need more of them.
If I were to sum up today's episode in one word, it would be 'hopeful' as that's what our guest and her community are feeling as they dare to make a difference. For many of us we could not imagine finding the energy to create change and momentum under such circumstances, our guests proves us how this can and should be done.
Our guests was happy to share her identity with us and she explains that today she, Jefiter, runs a non-profit called "Life Aid for Community Development" that focuses on empowering these young girls and women in Nigeria. Creating hope and opportunity where there is none.
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Can you imagine living, knowing you are going to die?
This show allows us to step into the shoes of Africa's longest living triple organ transplant survivor and to follow her lifelong journey to becoming âwellâ (and staying alive!). As she talks us through her entire childhood and youth spent wishing that she could breathe as her friends did, she shares what true gratefulness for health, for life and for breath really means.
She shares her reality as she celebrated her 30th birthday party and prepared to say goodbye to everyone in her life, creating a âfarewellâ party, feeling sure she wouldnât make it to the end of the year. However life threw her a new (welcome) curveball, as her 3 decade journey was slowing to the confines of her bedroom, when the phone rang and the search for 3 working, matching organs arrived.
Her path to life is both inspiring and powerfully full of motivation as she shares the most simple and deeply human realities of living life to your full potential.
Today, Tina coaches and inspires others to find the joy in the life they have as well as helping them (and their families) face the medical challenges they may face as part of their own journey.
If you would like to hear more about her journey, her coaching or her work with others waiting for transplants or surgery, you can find her here https://www.tinabalive.com or on LinkedIn here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tinabalive/ and on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tinabalive/
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This episode comes from India where our guest tell us of his decision to leave his corporate career to become a âMentor Fatherâ to over 38 abandoned, abused or orphaned girls. Having found the true meaning and purpose of his life he explains how he has devoted his heart, mind, soul and wealth as a full-time volunteer and a âMentor Fatherâ for over 10 years.
Telling of his journey to change the path of child brides,abadoned children and cast aside female youth, he talks of his belief that all children are âlotuses waiting to blossomâ if they are given the support, guidance, care and time to do so, He shares how him and his wife are leading these young women to change their destinies by teaching them the life skills they need to face a world as an independent, educated young adults.
Having seen hundreds of girls pass through this âfamily livingâ structure he talks about what makes âfamilyâ family, even when there are no blood ties.
As inspiring as he is committed, he enables us to understand the true meaning of purpose, service and parenthood in the most open minded of lenses and how true kindness can create a ripple effect onto the generations to come.
You can read more of this story and the journeys of the unbelievable young women rebuilding their futures in Deepakâs book, Wings to Fly. It is available to purchase on Amazon with funds going towards sustaining this critical work for young women and girls into the future. https://www.amazon.com/Wings-Fly-Nurturing-Dreams-Come/dp/B0B5HQF4CR The book intends to inspire one to make significant contributions to society, nature and the universe in multiple ways
If you would like to find out more about Deepakâs work with Udayan Care and support their continued efforts you can find out more via his LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/deepak-sharma-udayancare/ or via www.udayancare.org
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"Daddy fell asleep, mummy"
Our guest this week shares the moment when her husband fell "asleep" reading a bedtime story to her 6 year old daughter, and never woke up.
She tells us how she moved on from being the person she "used to be" as she said goodbye to her high school love and became a single mom. Realising that "the person I was prior to this night, knew nothing about the world I had to go through and so I had to lose myself" she tells of the story of her and her daughter as they faced a new journey as a lone duo.
After 23 years she inspires us with how she led herself to a new chapter of her story and that, whilst the memories don't ever fade, she now has a "wonderful life" that she never imagined could find her. With new love, a second child and the discovery of a faith and community that led her forward, this story is fraught with sadness but balanced with the strength, inspiration and wisdom of a woman who has found a path to joy after trauma.
Our guest shares what the term 'widow' means to her and why it never felt it fitted her outlook and how new friendships can help us find a new identity in life. As her story continues it takes a twist, half way through the show and 20 years later, as her son collapses at work and they discover a rare neurological disease impacting his brain and ability to live well. Facing brain surgery with her teenager, and ultimately finding out that the diagnosis runs in the family, she embarks on a long medical journey that tests her braveness and belief in the path laid out for all of us.
Our guest chooses to share her identity at the end of the show. Cathy is now coaching others facing grief, trauma and medical complexity. You can find her via the below links and access her story and support:
https://cathygcoach.com/
https://www.instagram.com/cathygirardeau
https://www.facebook.com/cathy.girardeau
https://www.linkedin.com/in/cathy-girardeau-acc-508363
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Can you ever overcome the loss of your children? Does time ever really heal anything at all? Are we all getting "grief all wrong" and what does this mean?
Our guests today shares the story of the tragic accident that saw his teenage children, Ruby and Hart, killed by a drunk driver just four years ago. He honestly recounts his journey to share this experience widely with others to help more people understand grief in ways that society doesn't talk about.
With themes of isolation, loneliness and forgiveness (can you ever forgive the person who killed your children?) and the stereotypes around grief, he offers profound wisdom and experience around the grieving process. He shares how the media has played a role in a cultural understanding of grief that is not supportive of our need to honour, love and name those we have lost.
He shares the power of using the names of the dead and why the phrase "I have no words" can be the most unsettling and uncomfortable of all.
Is there such a thing of "fairness" in life and if not, how do we face life's greatest tragedies and continue living for the future? He shares how we might live around the "holes in our heart" to accept new love and experiences.
Tune in to this incredibly powerful and open story. Our guests shares with an open and incredibly well articulated wisdom that can help so many in pain, or living with those experiencing tragic loss.
You can follow our guest Colin here @colincampbellwriter and find his book at www.colincampbellauthor.com
Colin now has his own solo show making waves around the world: www.griefaonemanshitshow.com
Colin and his wife Gail created a foundation in honor of their children, Ruby and Hart. It raises money to send free books and their authors to underserved schools. Support their work here: https://rubyandhartfoundation.com/
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When you dream of having a baby you don't often stop to wonder what that dream really entails.
For many new mothers post natal depression is an unexpected and often unknown reality of becoming a mum. Our guest in this episode shares her journey as the sadness she felt postpartum led her all the way to hospitalised care. Within a traditional community, that found the reality hard to understand, she shares how she accessed the help she needed. Surrounded by endless advice from relatives (none of which was that she should seek professional help) our guest shares her road to finding her health and joy again.
Balancing themes of professional identity, the role of becoming a wife and mother in the more traditional Arab world and the critical reality of isolation and loneliness, she allows us to empathise the strength, braveness and sadness that comes with the truth of motherhood.
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"Mummy, who will die first, me or my cousin?"
Losing a child is reality that many people feel they could never survive. In this episode our guest talks us through her own journey facing the acute illness and loss of her young daughter. She recounts the conversations they had around life and death, and how terminal illness becomes a "truth serum" that leads to living life consciously connected to the things you love. She talks about pain and laughter and how they intertwine, and the complex balance of parenting one very sick child and another healthy child who has had their life thrown upside down as all energies focus on the recovery of their sibling.
She introduces us to a social educational concept called "The Circle of Love" and how this deeply African concept went from being a local school project to becoming a way she would live her life.
In listening to our guest, she teaches us that spending time with a child who is dying is a the secret to finding the true joy of living in the moment and she share how rare disease completely changes the way you see the role of community and friendship. She shares the unexpected meeting of strangers, the generosity of people all over the world and how a very special group of doctors rallied around her family.
Her story takes an additional turn when her niece is also diagnosed with a terminal illness in her teens, and how as a mother and aunt, she faces the unimaginable question from her daughter, "mummy, who will die first, me or my cousin?"
A difficult story which teaches us deep empathy for the journey and strength that comes with parenthood and supporting the people we love, and the power of generosity and conversation when facing life's most difficult moments.
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A mum of three joins the show to talk about the realities, opportunities and challenges associated with being the mum to teenagers who she terms as "Wonderfully Wired" - which she uses to refer to her own children, and those of others, who experience giftedness or neurodiversity in some form.
She bravely unpacks how learning for children with neurodiversity is often seen as a draw back but that in her opinion it also comes with powerful viewpoints and talents that can be missed if we are not looking carefully. She shares with us to the "gifts" of dyslexia and how labels can deeply reframe our mindset introducing us to the term 'trade off weaknesses.'
Hear our guest speak about the parenthood identity (and pressure) that we place on ourselves, how we navigate teen life and identity, and how we make decisions around our school systems that often don't fit children on the neurodiverse journey. She raises some poignant questions around what our children need, how we address these as parents and the type of support we can offer them. She questions what the message is that neurodiverse children are getting in school, and how this impacts their own self image and confidence.
Raw and honest, with a profound professional opinion to back up this story, tune on in. Not only will you understand a unique and calm perspective on our role and capacity as mothers, but you will gain powerful insights into parenthood of teens and how to raise gifted children in a whole new light.
If you want to hear more about coping strategies, research and opportunities in remedial care, progress and encouragement for neurodiverse children check out www.wonderfullywired.online or follow wonderfullywiredbyelle on Instagram.
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When you lose someone close to you it often prompts us to reconsider "what would I do if I knew my own days were numbered?" In this episode our guest asked himself this exact question and decided that whilst he had loved his corporate life, it was time for a change and he headed on a sabbatical to train as a Field Guide on a safari camp in Africa.
When his year ended he wasn't ready to come home and his journey into a brand new culture - with wild animals and local staff alike - took flight, changing his future forever.
Taking the isolation and reflection as a gift he reviewed his previous life choices and decided that a life in Africa, and the people within it, had brought him a whole new perspective on life within his new identity as a "Brit in The Bush". As his journey continued he encountered a magical street dog, Rita, who "became obsessed with me" and changed his life forever. Against all of our guests prior plans, Rita decides to adopt him (!) and in so doing significantly changes his outlook, his work and even his home.
On a new journey, with Rita the dog in tow, our guest shares life lessons and the secret power of dogs in changing and healing our lives.
If you would like to support South African street dogs and create more happy endings like Rita's please check out https://oscarsarc.org/ and donate today.
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Kicking off Season 2 with a never seen before format, this show features two family members together, openly discussing their journey with transgender identity, acceptance and confidence. As the daughter of the family, a young woman shares her journey to finding her identity as a female, having being born a male, and takes us through a candid explanation of her reality to get to this moment. Her father joins her to share his perspective and experience of that same path and talks to the complexities in their conservative family and community, as well as the emotional pain of losing a son (and his birth name) whilst celebrating the joy of gaining a daughter. We touch on religion, judgement and the role of community as well as the power of honesty and courage. This show is, raw, deeply eye opening and full of inspiring and smile prompting moments. These stories deserve to be heard and the world needs to start listening.
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Driven by his passion for mental health, a young professional steps out to gain practical experience after earning his psychology degree. Amidst the challenges of the COVID-19 pandemic, fate leads him to an opportunity to work with refugees, where he encounters an entirely parallel community living in his city. Deeply moved by their plight, he witnesses firsthand the diverse array of issues they grapple with as they build a new life in Malaysia. Of the many realities he discovers he unpacks the unfair stereotypes that people place on refugees, as well as the powerful emotional overwhelm for refugee professionals as they leave senior roles at home and move into blue collar roles after escaping their countries. This episode gives a new level of understanding into a community that is so often forgotten.
Help create a difference by supporting the work on NGO's who are helping refugee women and children where they need it most: https://dignityforchildren.org
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In this episode a young man shares his story of his struggles with a debilitating stutter throughout his childhood, feeling trapped and voiceless in his own body. Feeling a failure and amidst peak puberty and relentless teasing, he longs for change and looks ahead for a time when he can stand up and finally share his opinion.
Fate intervenes and his family relocates from the UAE to India, where he is forced to adapt and confront his fears head on in a whole new way. He shares his determination to find his voice and build his confidence, pushing himself beyond his limits and overcoming huge obstacles to become a stronger person and find his voice.
Later he faced again with huge change but this time, he welcomes it and experiences a remarkable change, finding his voice and sharing it with audiences widely for the first time ever. Inspiring and empowering this story will drive you to sit in the shoes of a stutterer head on.
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ï»żIn this extremely emotional and unique episode, you will step into the world of a new mother just two days after giving birth, as she shares her unbelievable story for the first time ever.
Having just given birth to her baby boy, her days postpartum are thrown into turmoil when a brain tumor diagnosis shatters her reality and leads her to a journey of tenacity as she fights to find Dr's who will take her case, visas to allow her to travel to reach them and the financial and emotional demands to make it all a reality. Determined to survive, she undergoes a risky surgery in the UK, a country far from home, defying the odds of death or paralysis to ensure she can continue to be a mother for her children.
Her resilience pays off as she wakes from surgery, albeit with less of her senses than she had before, and a life changing diagnosis for her hearing. As life moved seemingly back to normal, a second diagnosis throws her journey back into trauma. Only this time the diagnosis is not for her but her baby.
Amidst the chaos of the Covid pandemic, she goes on a harrowing journey, racing against time to save her baby boy's life. The rest of the story remains in the episode so tune in and hear her out. This show will not only drive your empathy, but your emotions, as you follow this mother's journey of strength, resilience and unimaginable braveness.
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In a dimly lit nightclub, our guest once danced to the rhythm of the night as a DJ. Little did he know, that the same rhythm would lead him down a long path of anxiety, addiction, and escapism. Seeking refuge from the darkness, he traded neon lights for the comforting aroma of the coffee, opening his own store and hoping to escape the demons of the drugs he had discovered in the night hours.
Unfortunately, the reality of running a business caused infinitely more stress which led him into a far more habitual addiction to the drugs he saw as his 'way out'. Battling his demons, and after eventually opening up to his loved ones, he ignited a flicker of hope toward recovery - just before the pandemic left him home alone to fight for his future. Tune in and hear how overcoming the drugs themselves was only just the beginning. Listen to what life as an addict truly feels like and how living with the addiction will shift your life forever.
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