Episodi
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Here's a little Valentine's Day love with a throwback to one of our favourite early episode and to remind you all that we love you.
CW: Attempted Suicide, Substance Use, Sex work
The Now What Pod talks with Kaitlin Bick, a survivor of domestic sex trafficking. Kaitlin shares her story from meeting her trafficker, developing a relationship with him, being trafficked, and finally leaving, and now advocating for others. Kaitlin’s enthusiasm, positivity, and resilience to deliver a message of hope to other survivors and those who are struggling.
About Kaitlin:
Kaitlin Bick is a survivor of domestic sex trafficking. She is a former substance user who uses both her lived and professional experience to support and advocate for others.
For the past four years, Kaitlin has worked on the frontline with survivors of human trafficking and precariously-housed individuals, ensuring that all their basic needs are being met. She uses her enthusiasm, positivity, and resilience to deliver a message of hope to other survivors and those who are struggling.
Kaitlin facilitates workshops and training to service providers and community members and is dedicated to bringing awareness to domestic human trafficking and ending homelessness.
Resources:
For more information about Human Trafficking
Canada Suicide Prevention Service
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The Now What Pod chats with Leslie about the moment she decided to end her marriage. Despite being high school sweethearts, and married with 3 children, Leslie threw her husband out of the house after discovering he’d been cheating on her. Listen as Leslie describes how he began pulling away, the way he made her feel insignificant throughout their marriage, and how she found out he’d been unfaithful to her. Leslie talks about the challenge of suddenly becoming a single mother and full-time student, and what it means to be a strong independent woman.
Topics Discussed:
Meeting her Future HusbandMarriage with Young ChildrenFinding Out He’d been CheatingThrowing Him Out of the HouseMarriage CounselingParenting after DivorceThe Importance of Support SystemsEmotional AbuseNarcissism
Resources:
Emotional Abusehttps://www.betterhelp.com/advice/abuse/youre-not-crazy-but-emotional-abuse-can-make-you-think-you-are/?utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_c&utm_term=PerformanceMax&utm_content=&network=x&placement=&target=&matchtype=&utm_campaign=17990185911&ad_type=responsive_pmax&adposition=&gclid=Cj0KCQiA1ZGcBhCoARIsAGQ0kkrt48OaqASHR5K-5YLkXUszes6TX6Pq43gBgmw-uhnElrJj8TwIkDUaAv1OEALw_wcB
Narcissismhttps://www.webmd.com/mental-health/narcissism-symptoms-signs
Taylor Swift Dance Party https://www.theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-taylor-swift-dance-parties-midnights/
Taylor Swift Broke Ticketmasterhttps://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2022/11/taylor-swift-ticketmaster-presale-concert-tickets/672181/
About Leslie:
Leslie has been a primary teacher at schools in Scarborough for 17 years. Teaching is a third career as she was a fisheries biologist after graduating university, then became a stay at-home-mother, teaching music in the community, while raising 3 children. She went back to school to get her teaching certification at the age of 44 and is passionate about her teaching career. While studying to become a teacher, Leslie separated from her husband of 20 years, who had also been her high-school boyfriend. Leslie’s hobbies include music, playing a few instruments and singing, and outdoor activities such as hiking and kayaking.
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Episodi mancanti?
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The Now What Pod sits down to chat with Kareema for another episode in our “Bad Boyfriend Month”. Kareema tells us the story of how her religious beliefs led her to getting married young to somebody she’d known for only 3 months. Kareema sensed early on that something wasn't right within her marriage, but ignored her intuition and tried to be patient. It wasn’t long before her husband had managed to isolate her from her friends and community, and began mistreating her. Kareema shares the story of how she finally left, and began finding herself again.
Topics DiscussedMeeting her Ex-husbandQuickie MarriageThe influence of Islam on the decision to marryHealthy MarriageGaslighting Being isolated from her friends and familyDeciding to end the marriageSupport from family Co-parentingFinding herself again after marriage
Resources:
Gaslighting
https://canadianwomen.org/blog/gaslighting-how-to-recognize-this-form-of-emotional-abuse/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAg_KbBhDLARIsANx7wAy1WRrcpc_Pz8vWC28zSAg0Lq33LXK3dVy3AOfqzFQ1KXEW_7BCGJoaArQlEALw_wcB
Types of Abuse
https://reachma.org/blog/6-different-types-of-abuse/
What is a Healthy Relationship?
https://www.awhl.org/what-is-a-healthy-relationship
Domestic Violence Resources for those who are or know someone who is seeking help (Canada)
https://www.casw-acts.ca/en/resources/domestic-violence-resources#resources
Domestic Violence Resources for those who are or know someone who is seeking help (US)
https://ncadv.org/RESOURCES
The Now What Pod Episode Quotes:
“I feel like within the first 6 months that I knew something wasn't right”
“Keep everything silent. Don't say anything”
“What kind of Muslim woman am I?”
About Kareema:My name is Kareema. I’m a 26 year old recruiter for a national non-profit organization. I have 1 son that will be 7 years old in November. I believe very heavily in healing, self awareness, and constant development of self. In my free time I enjoy making TikTok content, spending time with friends, and engaging in various forms of self care activities.
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CW: Domestic Violence
Annesa has earned herself 400,000+ followers on TikTok for her advocacy against Domestic Violence. This week, she sits down with The Now What Pod to vulnerably share her own personal experience as a survivor. She tells us about being raised in a traditional Bengali family, how she met a man who sold her a dream and married him fast and young, only to have those dreams shattered a few weeks into the marriage. She explains the role that culture and religion played in her life before, during, and after her marriage. Now, Annesa is inspiring women and bringing light to important issues within the South Asian community.
Topics Discussed:Meeting “The One”Red flags Love bombing Getting engaged The first time he hit herFamily response to abuseThe Decision to LeaveSouth Asian CultureHealing after Domestic Violence
Resources:
Love Bombinghttps://www.healthline.com/health/love-bombing
Trauma Bondhttps://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/ending-domestic-violence/what-is-trauma-bonding?gclid=CjwKCAiA68ebBhB-EiwALVC-Np87S0Gc5GVl6C4D6SdwiDMvKVqxyoGrwzspChIRp756VsvKeeILfhoCn1AQAvD_BwE
Domestic Violence Resources for those who are or know someone who is seeking help (Canada)
https://www.casw-acts.ca/en/resources/domestic-violence-resources#resources
Domestic Violence Resources for those who are or know someone who is seeking help (US)
https://ncadv.org/RESOURCES
About Annesa:Annesa is a Nurse, Survivor, and Advocate based in Austin, TX. She brings awareness to social issues in the South Asian community that are often stigmatized and looked past. She hopes to continue to inspire and bring light to important issues the community faces in order to help the next generation of men and women of this community.
IG: @ovo_nesaTikTok: @ovo_nesaEmail: [email protected]
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In this second episode of “Bad Boyfriend” Month, the Now What Pod sits down to chat with Bre about her past relationship with a narcissist. She walks us through their courtship and engagement, to finding out he’d actually been defrauding her.
Topics Discussed:
Love Bombing
Discovering she’d been defrauded
Breaking up
Getting back together
Lies and Manipulation
Rebuilding her finances
Picking herself back up
Resources:
Love Bombing
https://www.healthline.com/health/love-bombing
Financial Abuse
https://www.verywellmind.com/financial-abuse-4155224
About Brea:
Bre(She/Her) is an empathic professional counselor who strives to create a comforting and safe space to grow. Bre received her Master's in Clinical Mental Health Counseling in Ohio and has since worked in a variety of settings helping people overcome anxiety, depression, trauma. She specializes in adolescent issues and parenting, LGBTQ and sexuality, and emotional regulation.
When not working you can find Bre enjoying the outdoors, specifically in or near water kayaking, waterskiing, and swimming. She also enjoys reading, gardening, and spending time with friends, family, and her dog.
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The Now What Pod talks with Heather about her experience of being in a long-term relationship with a serial romance scammer. She walks us through how they met and fell in love. They lived happily for a couple of years before things started to unravel, and she soon discovered his secrets.
Topics Discussed:Meeting her boyfriend Finding out his real identity Reporting it to the Police Confronting the NarcissistMoving forwardLove BombingNarcissistic Abuse
Resources:
Toronto Life: The Twisted Mind of a Serial Romance Scammer
https://torontolife.com/city/the-twisted-mind-of-a-serial-romance-scammer/
CBC News: Online Romeo jailed for Swindling Women
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/online-romeo-jailed-for-swindling-women-1.1246344
Narcissistic Abuse Cycle
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/narcissistic-abuse-cycle/
The Now What Pod Episode Quotes:
“Well, if he comes back and you’re afraid just call 911”
“The feelings I had…didn't just go away”
“He’s just a bad person”
“He had a pretty good life with me.”
“He cost me so much money”
“It was all a lie”
“I still have gaps in my story”
“I want the deep love”
“My story is just a real cautionary love tale”
About Heather Rovet:
Heather Rovet was born and raised in Toronto where she currently lives. She is a real estate broker and entrepreneur. She is rebuilding her life one day at a time. She is writing a book about what she went through in the hopes that it will help others who find themselves in abusive and manipulative relationships. As well she has co-founded a podcast, Hello Cougar, which is dropping it’s first episode soon!
Find her on social:
@heatherrovet
@hellocougarpodcast
@thespringteam
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This week, The Now What Pod is joined by author Emily Barth Isler. Emily shares her story of being diagnosed and living with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). She describes the challenges of learning to harness her OCD as a Superpower, including the painstaking decision to take or not take medication for it. The interview includes discussion of mental health and hormones, her journey with going on and off medication, being in therapy, pop culture portrayal of OCD, and so much more.
Topics Discussed:
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Synesthesia
Seeking Help for Mental Health
Medication for Mental Health
Deciding to Take Medication
Anxiety Symptoms
Going on and off Medication
Mental Health and Hormones
Opening up to others about OCD
Trauma Responses
Disclosing Mental Health
Pop Culture Portrayal of OCD
Resources:
Order Emily’s Book: https://amzn.to/3DxGZ1O
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20354432#:~:text=Obsessive%2Dcompulsive%20disorder%20(OCD)%20features%20a%20pattern%20of%20unwanted,activities%20and%20cause%20significant%20distress.
Synesthesia https://www.webmd.com/brain/what-is-synesthesia#:~:text=Synesthesia%20Test-,What%20Is%20Synesthesia%3F,%22Alex%22%20and%20see%20green.
The Now What Pod Episode Quotes:
“There will be times when you will not feel that way.”
“This isn't forever. You are not going to feel like this forever. Feel it today, and cry, and hug me tight. This is okay. Feel these feelings… but I want to remind you that you won't always feel like this”
“It would be helpful if we all viewed mental health on a spectrum”
“Not everybody deserves my story”
“I’m sad for the people that still feel like they have to whisper it, that they're going to therapy”
About Emily Barth Isler:
Emily Barth Isler is the author of the award-winning book AfterMath, a middle grade novel about grief, resilience, friendship, math, and mime. Activist and comedian Amy Schumer calls the book "a gift to the culture." Emily lives in Los Angeles, California, with her husband and their two kids. A former child actress, she performed all over the world in theatre, film, and TV. In addition to books, Emily writes about sustainable, eco-friendly beauty and skincare, and has also written web sitcoms, parenting columns, and personal essays. She has a B.A. in Film Studies from Wesleyan University, and really, really loves television.
Website: www.emilybarthisler.com
IG: @emilybarthisler
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This week, Nathalie Cholette sits down to chat with The Now What Pod. Nathalie tells her story of starting out as a vibrant girl, in love with life, and of how, through endless expectations imposed on her from an early age, she lost her voice. Nathalie describes losing her identity, the decision to leave her marriage, and how she ventured to reconnect with her authentic self, and now seeks to inspire others to reclaim their voice.
Topics Discussed:
Gratitude
Mindfulness Practice
Being “too” much
Living up to expectations
The Straight Agenda
Mindful Self- Compassion
Self-Abandonment
Finding Your Identity
Dating after divorce
Resources:
Order Nathalie’s Book: https://www.nathaliecholette.com/writer
Kristin Neff: Mindful Self-Compassion https://self-compassion.org/
She-Hulk https://disneyplusoriginals.disney.com/show/she-hulk/
Allison’s Story of Traumatic Brain Injury https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/026-allison-s-story-of-traumatic-brain-injury/id1559319776?i=1000536248879
The Now What Pod Episode Quotes:
“Underneath all that anger was a lot of shit I hadn’t dealt with”
”Anger is a secondary emotion”
“I had been living a life based on expectations”
“I wasn’t lacking anything, except myself. I didn't know who I was”
“We receive messages that we need to be good at all of our roles”
“ How do you find yourself back?”
“The people who leave you feeling lighter, those are your safe people.”
“reconnecting to myself has been the biggest gift that I could have given to myself “
“I've rediscovered my worth and I'm living a life of purpose”
About Nathalie:
Nathalie Cholette is a Speech-Language Pathologist with a background in mindfulness, who has dedicated her life to helping children find their voice. She speaks and writes openly about her experiences as a woman who, like many others, started out vibrant, lost in the wonder of her human experience, in love with the freedom of life, and of how, through endless expectations imposed on her from an early age, she lost her soulful voice.
Nathalie hails from Toronto and is a mother of two teenage daughters. She is hungry and passionate about sharing her personal and professional experiences so that other women can reclaim their voice, stand in their own power, as well as become vehicles of positive change in the world.
Website: https://www.nathaliecholette.com/writer
IG: @nathalie_cholette_
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This week, The Now What Pod sits down to chat with @anotherstrongwidow, Janice Bell. Janice’s husband was diagnosed with cancer when she was pregnant with their third child. The following 6 months would be harrowing, as Janice cared for three children under four years old, and her ailing husband. Six months after his diagnosis, her husband died. Then, Janice herself began to experience unusual symptoms, and would have to fight to prove that she was not just an anxious widowed new mother, but that her symptoms were very real, and very serious.
Topics Discussed:
Grief Life as a young widowCaring for a sick spouseFinding a Family Doctor in CanadaCervical Cancer SymptomsBeing diagnosed with cancerWomen’s HealthGaslighting by medical professionalsHealth Anxiety
Resources:
What is Cervical Cancer?
https://cancer.ca/en/cancer-information/cancer-types/cervical/what-is-cervical-cancer
The Now What Pod Episode Quotes:
“There’s no Guidebook for all of these feelings”
About JaniceLife throws curve balls constantly; that’s what living is – learning how to dodge them. It’s ok, I had the ultimate dodgeball partner, and we had been accomplishing challenges of all sizes seamlessly together for over thirteen years.
In February of 2019, I was thirty-five weeks pregnant with our third child when we got the ultimate curveball of all – cancer.
Chris died in August of 2019. I struggle with his loss, but also the trauma of cancer itself and what I went through during his diagnosed period.
Eighteen months after my husband Chris died, I received my cancer diagnosis of an advanced cervical tumour. I fought to be listened to, was turned away from the hospital, and was seen as a newly widowed young mother with health anxiety.
This is my story as I move forward, rediscover who I am, and rebuild my life from (almost) scratch. If I can help someone else feel less alone and close my wounds a little bit, then I have accomplished what I’ve set out to do.
IG: @anotherstrongwidow
Website: anotherstrongwidow.com
Support The Now What Pod
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Amber joins The Now What Pod to talk about supporting her children after the death of her ex-husband. Amber married her childhood sweetheart and had 3 beautiful children. After the dissolution of the marriage, her ex-husband succumbed to addiction and later died of an overdose. Amber talks about parenting her children through grief, and the burdens of solo-parenting.
Topics Discussed:
Life after divorce
Men's Mental Health
Drug addiction
Attending her ex-husband's funeral
Supporting children through grief
Supporting children through divorce
Resources:
Get Help with Substance Abuse
https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/substance-use/get-help-problematic-substance-use.html
Child Bereavement Canada
https://childrensgrieffoundation.org/resources?gclid=Cj0KCQjwkOqZBhDNARIsAACsbfIN7_e1MugdfxZQ4JaP-C7WjKzM7_UIVDuRisteQwbC-gLxLl4NEIgaAureEALw_wcB
The Now What Pod Episode Quotes:
“I didn't know how I was going to break it to the kids”
“How are they gonna be okay without him?”
“He hid a lot of what he struggled with”
“I was angry at him for leaving his kids. I was angry at him for leaving me to raise them alone, and I was angry at him for not pulling himself together”
“How am I still standing? I don't know”
“We just keep on trucking”
About Amber:
Amber is a business owner and a busy mom of 3. She is a retirement and investment specialist and is active in the hockey and baseball communities in the GTA.
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Buy Us a Coffee
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Dr. E’Toyare “Torie” Williams joins The Now What Pod to share her expertise in the area of Adverse Childhood Experiences. In this episode, you’ll learn more about how what ACEs are, why they matter, and what your ACEs score is.
Topics Discussed:
What are ACEs?
Childhood Trauma
Generaltional Trauma
Getting therapy for ACEs
ACEs Awareness
The ACEs quiz: What’s your score?
Resources:
https://www.bevictorieus.com/
https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/index.html
https://www.ajpmonline.org/article/S0749-3797(98)00017-8/fulltext
https://developingchild.harvard.edu/media-coverage/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean/
The Now What Pod Episode Quotes:
“We’re talking about life. Nobody is perfect”
“The key word is Trauma”
About Dr E’Toyare Williams:
https://www.bevictorieus.com/
I am Dr. E’Toyare Williams, an Educational consultant, Certified Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, and Mentor. As a current Director of Special Education with 20 years of experience. I am a HUGE advocate for Adverse Childhood Experience (ACEs). I completed my dissertation on the topic after addressing my own childhood trauma growing up. I have not only learned more about the psychological effects of ACEs on young minds, but also about the long-term health complications that can come from recurring exposure to ACEs. Now that I understand how toxic stress affects the minds and bodies of children, I want to educate others about ACEs while helping children build social-emotional skills and resilience and teachers with personal and professional development on ACEs.
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Diana joins The Now What Pod to share her story of surviving The Troubled Teen Industry. She describes herself the trauma she experienced as a child when her father was killed by a drunk driver, and how in part, that trauma led to her “acting out” as a teenager. Her mother, desperate for help, then sent Diana to a residential treatment program designed to reform youth. Diana would spend the next three years of her life enduring isolation, abuse, and brainwashing. She now bravely shares her story to help raise awareness about this industry.
Topics Discussed:
The Troubled Teen IndustryChildhood traumaArriving at Ivy RidgeLife in “treatment”Lasting effects of the Troubled Teen IndustryAdvocacyResources:
Breaking Code Silence
https://www.breakingcodesilence.org/
Trapped in Treatment https://podsauce.com/articles/paris-hilton-shares-her-survival-story-in-trapped-in-treatment/
The Now What Pod Episode Quotes:
“This is a Cult, I’m being lied to”
“What are you doing to make up for what you did to us?”
“This is why I don't forgive them is because we were young. Our brains were still forming. We were still trying to understand the world and make sense of our existence.”
“I'm not gonna lie. I'm afraid of pain, but I do know that unless I like look at it and deal with it, it's not gonna go away.”
About Diana Nowak:
Diana is a survivor of the troubled teen industry (also referred to as the TTI), where she spent over three years in her youth. In addition to being an advocate for other survivors, she is now a writer, tutor, and manager of her company’s event coordinating department in Chicago. In her free time, she collaborates on documentaries and photography projects to try to bring an end to the TTI’s corrupt programs and schools.
Support The Now What Pod’s drive to upgrade our audio equipment
Buy Us a Coffee
Patreon - and access special episodes and content
Want to be a guest on The Now What Pod?
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Nina Purewal faced an unexpected tragedy as a teenager. She joins The Now What Pod to talk about the impact the murder-suicide of her father and brother had on her life and how it ultimately led her to an ashram in Northern California. Her loss and work to heal inspired not only a lifelong love of mindfulness & meditation but also a change in career, best-selling book and more.
Topics Discussed:
•Jen & Tesha spend some time talking current events (CW abortion)
•Introductions and talk about Nina's body of work
•How sharing stories help us let go of the shame around mental health & grief
•The story of her father's & brother's death, how public it was and how it felt for Nina. Survivor's guilt
•Nina's relationship with her mother and how supportive she was.
•The pressure to just keep going and keep living. Finishing high school and going through university and getting a degree and working in corporate without ever having fully dealt with the trauma.
•Leaving it all to go to an ashram for a year with her mother and how that led to the work she does now
•Letting go of the "shoulds" and not letting society dictate what makes a happy or successful life and how to parent kids who can see past that.
Resources:
From the Intro
Supreme Court Overturns Roe v Wade https://www.npr.org/2022/06/24/1102305878/supreme-court-abortion-roe-v-wade-decision-overturn
Abortion Rights Coalition Canada https://www.arcc-cdac.ca/
Action Canada for Sexual & Health Rights https://www.actioncanadashr.org/
National Network of Abortion Funds https://abortionfunds.org/
From the episode
Nina's Website https://www.pureminds.ca/
It's Ok to Ask Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/its-ok-to-ask/id1596680248
Let That Sh*t Go by Nina Purewal & Kate Petriw https://amzn.to/3Nnjryw
When The Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress by Gabor Mate https://amzn.to/3OuXVcu
About Nina Purewal:
Nina Purewal faced an unexpected childhood tragedy, which inspired her mindfulness and meditation journey over twenty years ago. After climbing the corporate ladder in sales & marketing for nearly a decade, she took a sabbatical and moved to California to unplug and live in an ashram for a year to further her learning of ancient wisdom and letting go. It’s been her greatest passion to help others find happiness through adversity. With that, she founded Pure Minds, a social enterprise that conducts mindfulness and meditation workshops for the corporate sector, with over 45 clients. She is the co-author of the International Bestseller, Let That Sh*t Go and has also partnered with A Kids Company About as a podcast host and kids meditation mentor. Find Nina on Instagram at @nina.pure.minds
Get on our email list
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Buy Us a Coffee
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Serena was born with a silver spoon in her mouth, but it tarnished. Her life fell apart when she was just four years old. After her parents divorce, Serena’s brother went to live with her father, while she remained with her mother. Then one day, when left unsupervised, her older brother died in a tragic accident. This event precipitated years of being bounced around between family members. Not living with her biological parents, Serena felt a drive to be self-sufficient, and has found entrepreneurial success. In the episode of The Now What Pod, Serena joins us to share her story.
Topics Discussed:
Serena’s childhoodThe AccidentLearning of her Brother’s DeathHow children process deathSurvivalBecoming Financially IndependentBeing an entrepreneur during the pandemicBecoming a mom during Covid Shared CustodyResources:
Buy Serena’s Book https://amzn.to/3navFzT
About Serena Holmes:
Serena Holmes is the CEO of multi-award winning brand experience agency Tigris Events. She has spearheaded more than 12,000 brand building activations across Canada over the last 18 years.
In addition, she recently transitioned her real estate license and launched her first book, The Accidental Entrepreneur – which is part memoir, part “nuts and bolts” business book.
The book chronicles Serena’s experience going from surviving a difficult childhood to thriving as a self-styled, private enterprise, thriving entrepreneur.
Support The Now What Pod’s drive to upgrade our audio equipment
Buy Us a Coffee
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CW: abortion
The Now What Pod is joined by post-abortion life coach, Amanda Star Kingsley. After an unexpected pregnancy, Amanda, a married mother of three, chose to have an abortion. Amanda discovered that this was a complex and emotional experience. In this episode, we discuss abortion laws, deciding to have an abortion, the stigma of abortion, abortion access, and healing after abortion.
Topics Discussed:
U.S. Abortion LawsThe Decision to have an AbortionStigma of Abortion Life After AbortionSupporting and Feeling Supported Planned ParenthoodAbortion AccessPost-Abortion coachingResources:
Roe vs.Wade https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roe_v._Wade
Working Moms imdb.com/title/tt6143796/
Planned Parenthood Toronto https://ppt.on.ca/
Planned Parenthood US https://www.plannedparenthood.org/
About Amanda Star Kingsley:
Amanda Kingsley is a Certified Feminist Life Coach and Doula. She is the host of the Speaking Light Into Abortion podcast. And the Author of ‘What I Wish: 100 love notes to help you survive, come alive, and thrive after abortion.’ After her own unanticipated abortion as a mother of three, she recognized the need for a wider conversation around the complex emotional landscape of life after abortion. She reminds her audience that it’s okay to feel all the feelings after abortion, and that we can honor our decisions by living the life we made our choice for. You can learn more and connect with her at www.amandastarkingsley.com
IG @amandastarkingsley
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CW: Suicidal ideation, sexual abuse, alcohol abuse, domestic violence
Charlene joins The Now What Pod to talk about the impact that the sexual abuse she experienced as a child had on her. As a teen and adult, Charlene struggled with alcohol abuse, mental illness, and suicidal ideology. The one day, just 2 days before she planned to take her own life, everything changed. She flipped the script and was able to begin the healing process, and find her purpose.
Topics Discussed:
The sexual abuse: Charlene talks about how she came to be living with her grandparents, and how the abuse at the hands of her grandfather began. Alcohol abuse: Charlene talks about leaning on alcohol as a coping mechanismWriting as an outletSuicidal ideation, attepting suicideDomestic violence: Charlene entered into unhealthy relationships while seeking validationTrying to outrun her problems by moving far awayCreating Happiness for herselfInsecurities as a woman and motherHandling setbacksGratitude, Morning Routines, Starting your day in a clear balanceSupporting others: How can we hold space for others, allowing them to feel their feelings without trying to fix it.Resources:
www.ascensionwellnessstudio.com
www.charlenemadden-speaker.com
The 5AM Club
https://www.amazon.ca/AM-Club-Morning-Elevate-Life/dp/1443456624
Miracle Morning: https://www.amazon.ca/Miracle-Morning-Not-So-Obvious-Guaranteed-Transform/dp/0979019710/ref=asc_df_0979019710/?tag=googleshopc0c-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=292938044607&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=12146600924608737235&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1002468&hvtargid=pla-345853580821&psc=1
About Charlene Madden:
Charlene Madden has admittedly spent most of her life living in a state of darkness. After experiencing over 9 years of sexualized trauma at the hands of her grandfather, a decade of domestic violence, and 3+ decades of mental illness and suicidal ideology, she was just 2 days away from taking her life when she attended a women's workshop where everything changed. She was able to take off her blinders, begin the healing process, and find her Purpose by turning her Mess into a Message of Hope, Evolution, and Transformation that she now shares with people all over the world. Charlene is a Mother of 3 amazing children, a wife, daughter, Reiki Practitioner, Women's Empowerment Coach.
Connect with Charlene:
https://www.instagram.com/charlene_anne_madden
https://www.facebook.com/charleneannemadden
https://www.facebook.com/igniteyourlifebc
https://twitter.com/MaddenAuthor
https://ca.linkedin.com/in/charlene-madden-speaker-and-author
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Sherente, a Two Spirit member of the Narragansett tribe, joins The Now What Pod to share their story of overcoming the discrimination they faced when they decided to compete in a dance traditionally performed only by women. Sherenté talks about their two spirit identity and how they are breaking barriers while fighting for Indigenous visibility. Sherente takes the time to explain what it means to be a two-spirit and to teach us about Narragansett culture and history in this thought provoking episode.
Topics Discussed:
Two Spirit: What does it mean to be Two Spirit? What was the traditional role of two-spirits in the Narragansett community?
Identifying as Two Spirit: Sherente shares their journey of coming out, being accepted
Powwows and Pow Wow Dances: Sherente describes Powwows, both historically and at present. They share their experience deciding to compete in a dance traditionally performed by women.
Narragansett Culture and History
Narragansett People: A brief history of the Narragansett People
Resources:
Complete the Circle https://www.uri.edu/tedx/talks/sherente-harris-complete-the-circle/
Documentary: Being Thunder https://www.imdb.com/title/tt14908696/
About Sherenté Harris:
Sherenté Mishitashin Harris intertwines stories of cultural existence with their Two Spirit identity, to evoke emotion, spark dialogue, and amplify ideologies that are too often silenced. Sherenté’s efforts oppose the prolonged issue of Indigenous invisibility. Sherenté is Niantic Narragansett and a citizen of the Narragansett Tribal Nation. Named a 2019 LGBT History Month Icon, Sherenté is also a 2018 Presidential and Rhode Island Foundation Carter Roger Williams Scholar and is currently enrolled in a five year dual degree program at Brown University and Rhode Island School of Design.
S/he can be found on IG @sherente
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The Now What Pod talks with Instamom, Melissa Rainer. Melissa shared her motherhood journey, from stepmom, to bio mom, and then legal mom. Melissa dishes the real real of being a stepmom, and the challenges she faced before finally adopting her step children.
Resources:
Instamom Pod https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/instamom-podcast/id1587915577
About Melissa Rainer:
Melissa was a stepmom first, BioMom second, and now legal mom forever. She shares her story on her podcast Instamom from the beginning of becoming a stepmom and is working through to how she was able to adopt her stepdaughters. She always felt alone in her feelings of being a stepmom, which lead her to start the podcast. Being a primary parent without any legal standing really caused a lot of stressful situations. They have been a legal family for a year now but the difficulty of working through abandonment, disparagement & broken hearts is never ending.
Follow Melissa @instamompod
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This week, The Now What Pod meets with Megan Hillukka who is a bereaved mother, with 7 children, one who died at 15 months old. When Megan was 36 weeks pregnant her daughter, Aria, died. Megan was caught between saying goodbye to one child, while welcoming a new child into the world. In this episode, Megan shares her experience with the death of her daughter, and what she has learned about grief. She now uses her experience to coach other grieving moms, and shares so much of her wisdom with us.
Topics Discussed:
Aria: Megan tells us all about her daughter Aria, who died suddenly at 15 months old.
After Aria Died: In the aftermath of Aria’s death, Megan suffered from PTSD. She desperately wanted to care for her kids and be the best mother she could be, but struggled with grieving and did not want to be left alone with her children
Keeping Aria as part of the family: Megan talks about how her family keeps Aria’s memory alive by continuing to talk about her often
Grief in Social situations: Megan describes how she navigates social situations where people do not know what to say. Initially, Megan withdrew from social situations and chose to surround herself with only a few people. She also talks about how she manages telling new people about Aria.
Grieving: Through her experience of the death of her daughter Aria, Megan has learned how to feel her emotions, be aware of her thoughts and how much they matter, and learned that grief is with her the rest of her life, and she can ride the waves of it.
Coaching mothers through grief: Megan now encourages and supports grieving mothers. She helps others learn how to process and move through the emotions of grief through tapping and meditations, and provides a place of safety and compassion. Megan teaches us about she she calls clean grief and dirty grief.
Resources:
Grieving Moms Podcast:
https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/grieving-moms-podcast/id1473859194
Grieving Moms Haven www.grievingmomshaven.com/bundle/hope
About Megan Hillukka:
Megan Hillukka is a bereaved mother, with 7 children, one who died at 15 months old. Megan encourages and supports grieving mothers that though the worst thing has happened to them, their life is not over. Through her experience of the death of her daughter Aria, Megan has learned how to feel her emotions, be aware of her thoughts and how much they matter, and learned that grief is with her the rest of her life, and she can ride the waves of it. Because Megan has done the deep work of grief, she now has room for joy, laughter, hope, and so much fun in her life. She will never forget her daughter Aria and they talk about her often as a family. She helps moms learn how to process and move through the emotions of grief through tapping and meditations, and provides a place of safety and compassion within grief, so that they too can feel themselves again and hope for their future.
Support The Now What Pod’s drive to upgrade our audio equipment
Buy Us a Coffee
Patreon - and access special episodes and content
Shop our merch
Want to be a guest on The Now What Pod?
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Nova Reeves joins The Now What Pod to discuss the murder of her mother by “The Green River Killer”. As a child, Nova was frequently left responsible for the care of her younger sisters, while her mother struggled with drug use and undiagnosed mental health issues. Then, one day her mother disappeared and was never seen again.
In this episode, Nova shares the impact that her upbringing, and her mother’s murder has had on her life, and how she has learned to grieve the death of somebody she had already lost.
Topics Discussed:
Upbringing: Nova talks about her upbringing with a mentally ill mother, and being thrust in the role of caregiver for her younger siblings.
Grieving the Loss of her Mother: Nova has begun healing from wounds left by her mother. As part of her grieving process she has tried to unearth who her mother was by learning as much as she could about her. For Nova, writing poetry about her mother as played a major role in her healing.
Impact: Nove discusses how her early experiences have led to struggling with intimacy and boundaries.
Bipolar Disorder and PTSD: Nova shares what life is like for her living as an adult with Bipolar Disorder, and PTSD
Being a BIrth Mother: Nova describes the rationale beyond her own decision to place her child in an open adoption, and what her relationship is like with her son.
Generational trauma: In this episode, we learn who Marta was. Nova shares information about her mother's childhood and upbringing, and the threads of generation trauma are obvious.
Resources:
Bipolar Disorderhttps://mdsc.ca/edu/what-is-bipolar-disorder/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwmuiTBhDoARIsAPiv6L_7xDApvVoRM-1AdPRvxjPyng2GPLdPR7wZLMULdSQhQ0FX1nyPWD8aAgcnEALw_wcB
Catching Killers: television serieshttps://www.imdb.com/title/tt15723914/
MMVR murder victims reconciliation (texas): Murder Victims’ Families for Reconciliationhttp://ami.mvfr-tx.tripod.com/
Viva Victims advocacyhttps://outto.us/mnstrm/main
About Nova Reeves:
Nova Reeves is an American poet and birth mother from the San Francisco area. Her work can be accessed by emailing [email protected] to acquire a copy of her zine, entitled "Mother, Meadow, Stones". Additional work can be accessed by googling Nova Reeves and The Opiate Magazine for poetry, Nova Reeves and the Tacoma Tribune, for an op-ed on the death penalty, and Nova Reeves also on the podcast This is Actually Happening.
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