Episodi

  • #65: How to talk about sex, before, during, and after pregnancy and post-partum - Relationship Series Part 3 with Mike and Ellen Melon

    #65: How to talk about sex, before, during, and after pregnancy and post-partum - Relationship Series Part 3 with Mike and Ellen Melon

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    Part 3 of 7! This season on To Hump a Pillow, I invite my fiance Mike to the podcast in a 7-Episode Relationship Series to discuss challenging conversations that occur in couple-hood. We'll deep-dive into 7 deliciously uncomfortable topics:

    How to talk about envious and jealous feelings How to talk about money and finances, spending habits Sex life - how it's changed over our relationship and how to ask for what you need On taking things too personally Maintaining individualism and ensuring alone time Day to day compromising Coparenting in a blended family

    In this episode, Mike and I discuss difficult feelings and values around money, like:

    The beginning of our sex life (early dating), first sexual experience First trimester sex Second/third trimester sex Post-partum sex life and how to navigate the emotional and physical mess Things that get in the way of our sex life

    For questions regarding this topic, please email [email protected]

    Episodes I've called out in the episode:

    #60. The trick to using dating apps - a real convo with my boyfriend Mike #19. Finding self-love with The 4 Agreements #14. How sex changes in partnerships for first time parents, genito-pelvic pain, and arousal disorder - with Dr. Natalie Rosen #9. Vaginal tearing during child labor: Sex, anatomy, fear, and lessons learned - with Alyssa #7. The messages I received about sex when I was young - Part 1 of 2 - with Ellen Melon

    ____________________

    For more info on 1-on-1 coaching program:

    https://www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Coach Ellen Melon links:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

  • #64: How to talk about money, finances, spending habits - Relationship Series Part 2 with Mike and Ellen Melon

    #64: How to talk about money, finances, spending habits - Relationship Series Part 2 with Mike and Ellen Melon

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    Dear listeners, pardon my absence! After taking a year off of the podcast, being pregnant, buying a house, having a baby, getting engaged, I am back and ready to share some new content on the podcast.

    This season on To Hump a Pillow, I invite my fiance Mike to the podcast in a 7-Episode Relationship Series to discuss challenging conversations that occur in couple-hood. We'll deep-dive into 7 deliciously uncomfortable topics:

    How to talk about envious and jealous feelings How to talk about money and finances, spending habits Sex life - how it's changed over our relationship and how to ask for what you need On taking things too personally Maintaining individualism and ensuring alone time Day to day compromising Coparenting in a blended family

    In this episode, Mike and I discuss difficult feelings and values around money, like:

    Money mindset How money was discussed in our homes, upbringing Our challenges with talking about money As a woman, making my own money to be able to make empowered decisions Spending money seperately, together, and on large purchases

    For questions regarding this topic, please email [email protected]

    ____________________

    For more info on 1-on-1 coaching program:

    https://www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Coach Ellen Melon links:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

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  • #63: How to talk about jealousy and envy - Relationship Series Part 1 with Mike and Ellen Melon

    #63: How to talk about jealousy and envy - Relationship Series Part 1 with Mike and Ellen Melon

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    Dear listeners, pardon my absence! After taking a year off of the podcast, being pregnant, buying a house, having a baby, getting engaged, I am back and ready to share some new content on the podcast.

    This season on To Hump a Pillow, I invite my fiance Mike to the podcast in a 7-Episode Relationship Series to discuss challenging conversations that occur in couple-hood. We'll deep-dive into 7 deliciously uncomfortable topics:

    How to talk about envious and jealous feelings How to talk about money and finances Sex life - how it's changed over our relationship and how to ask for what you need On taking things too personally Maintaining individualism and ensuring alone time Day to day compromising Coparenting in a blended family

    In this episode, Mike and I discuss difficult feelings around envy and jealousy. We'll discuss:

    dating and setting the expectation that it’s okay to talk about previous relationships within boundaries the difference between jealousy and envy and personal examples of how to navigate those feeling in our relationship when it comes up how jealousy and envy feel in the body (body mapping excercise) so that we know when it comes up

    For questions regarding jealousy and envy in your life, please email questions to [email protected]

    ____________________

    For more info on 1-on-1 coaching program:

    https://www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Coach Ellen Melon links:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

  • #62. How to find a place for grief - with Coach Ellen Melon

    #62. How to find a place for grief - with Coach Ellen Melon

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    How do you integrate painful losses into your life while living?

    Grief is something we in the United States are known to do poorly. Perhaps it's the European decent that curved our culture's inability to feel feelings, perhaps it's industrial era-based where we learned that there's no time in our 40 hour work week to sit with grief, or perhaps our modern day fear machines (the media) have signaled to our bodies, 'It's not safe here - eject from your body.'

    Whatever got us here, grief is an important part of our learning to be resilient and self-compassionate. And it's part of the human contract with life — As Dr Susan David says, “Discomfort is the price of admission to meaningful life.”

    In this episode, I provide some education and philosophy on grief, the definitions, different types of grief. I also share about my year-long season of grief, showcasing how I found a place for grief, having successfully learned how to do it and how to integrate it.

    Grief is something we must all feel and move through in order to have the highest level of relationships with people we connect with and love. For, it is in our relationship to the self that we treat and extend to others.

    For more info on the Remember Your Worth coaching program:

    https://www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Coach Ellen Melon links:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

    ____________________

  • #61. What does sex & relationship coaching look like - with former client Addison

    #61. What does sex & relationship coaching look like - with former client Addison

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    In this episode we get to hear from a former client on his experience working with a sex and relationship coach. Addison and I worked for 4 months together back in January, meeting every 2 weeks via Zoom. Listen to the challenges he overcame in this episode.

    I’m a coach who specializes in working with people pleasers, codependents, and people with anxious-attachement styles.

    If you are someone who identifies with those labels, some challenges you might be having are


    Being angry and blamey — sick of playing the victim and ready to stop being so judgemental all the time Tired of seeking external validation, or tired of being a person who gets into relationships and says, “okay how can I mold myself so this person likes me” Fixated on every little thing — your perfectionism gets in the way of you living life because you’re so busy hustling for worthiness and what you produce How much control you need to have on everything, all the time and it’s ruining your life and relationships Tired of leaning on coping mechanisms- ways in which you numb out, like emotional eating, netflix bingeing, shopping, drugs and alcohol Tired of the harsh and critical voice inside your head that’s hating on you all the time

    If this sounds like you, it’s time to remember your worth. It’s time to cultivate happiness, authenticity, and self compassion, because my dear you have been performing what you think everyone else wants you to be and have lost your truest self and desires. Let’s call your authentic self back shall we?

    For more info on the Remember Your Worth coaching program:

    https://www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Coach Ellen Melon links:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

    ____________________

  • #60. The trick to using dating apps - a real convo with my boyfriend Mike

    #60. The trick to using dating apps - a real convo with my boyfriend Mike

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    Welcome back to To Hump A Pillow! We're kicking off Season 4, our 20 episode season with episode #60 — on dating apps.

    When most of us think about dating apps, we roll our eyes at the thought of what a task that can be. “Dating apps suck” — a common refrain from most of my clients. I've said those word myself! What if the app isn’t the problem? What if you’re the problem? I’ve always wanted to do an episode about dating apps, and now I’ve got the data and experience (my own and from clients) to create meaningful content around this topic. In this episode I’ve brought my boyfriend of 6 months, Mike, to discuss our experiences of dating apps — the different intentions for getting on dating apps over the course of our dating journeys, including before we met, our experience of meeting on Hinge, and how using dating apps felt after being in long term relationships. Lastly, I’ll walk through my dating app framework I use with clients who are single, thinking about dating, new to a relationship or just wanting to explore hook ups. Dating App Framework: intention: what part of me wants to download a dating app? what part of me is holding me back from trying dating apps? profile creation: what meaningful and authentic stuff can I put out there? swiping considerations: what parameters do you have in place for swiping? what red flags are you looking for? what green flags? communications and boundaries: how do want to protect your time and energy by setting boundaries on communications? how long do you want to talk on the app until there's a sense of trust built? when is the right time to meet up?

    This framework is mostly geared toward people with an anxious-attachment style, historically quick to have sex, and often attract emotionally immature partners, people that are only physically attractive (vanity-based dating), or emotionally unavailable partners.

    Coach Ellen Melon links:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

    ____________________

  • #59. How ayahuasca has enhanced our lives - with Hypnotherapist, Kate Bandmann

    #59. How ayahuasca has enhanced our lives - with Hypnotherapist, Kate Bandmann

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    Ayahuasca is a powerful medicinal medicine that comes from the Amazon. It has been around for centuries, needs to be taken seriously, and is not for everyone. In this episode, fellow coach and healer, Kate Bandmann and I discuss our ayahuasca experiences — the terror and discomfort to the enhancements and growths.

    This is the last episode of Season 3! I'll see you in the fall when we kick off Season 4!

    Interested in work with a coach on your relationship style and sex life? Check out more info here: https://www.ellenmelon.com/1on1

    Find Kate here:

    https://www.instagram.com/elevate.integrate.therapy/

    https://msha.ke/elevateintegratetherapy/

    ____________________

    Coach Ellen Melon links:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

    ____________________

  • #58. Childhood emotional neglect, shame, and school shootings - A perspective on self-hate - with Coach Ellen Melon

    #58. Childhood emotional neglect, shame, and school shootings - A perspective on self-hate - with Coach Ellen Melon

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    In this episode, I fly solo in offering a different perspective on the Texas School Shooting. Yes, maybe it’s gun law reform and yes, it’s also hurting children in angry bodies. As more people feel disconnected, they grow angrier. Happy, secure children who have a sense of self don’t shoot up schools. It’s time to teach people how to process their childhood and FEEL THEIR FEELINGS.

    I will discuss:

    My own experience of middle school and high school and what I noticed What is emotional neglect and emotional immature parents? 10 Themes of emotional neglect Mother wound Perfectionism as a byproduct of shame Belonging & Connection Shame, Empathy, Guilt, Humiliation and Embarrassment Cultivating authenticity

    10 Themes of Emotional Neglect (from Dr Jonice Webbs “Running on Empty” Book):

    Feelings of Emptiness Counter-Dependence Unrealistic Self-Appraisal No Compassion for Self, Plenty for Others Guilt and Shame: What is Wrong With Me? Self-Directed Anger, Self-Blame Fatal Flaw (If People Really Know Me They Won’t Like Me) Difficulty Nurturing Self and Others Poor Self-Discipline Alexithymia: Poor Awareness and Understanding of Emotions Coach Ellen Melon links:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

    ____________________

    Books discussed:

    Running on Empty by Jonice Webb PhD with Christine Musello PsyD

    Adult children of emotionally immature parents : how to heal from distant, rejecting, or self-involved parents by Lindsay C. Gibson

    Atlas of the Heart by Brene Brown

  • #57. What is your feeling on porn? - with Coach Jessica Childs

    #57. What is your feeling on porn? - with Coach Jessica Childs

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon
    What are you thoughts and feelings on porn? How do you use it in your life? In this episode Sex Coach, Jessica Childs and I discuss our own relationship with porn. Episode adopted from Erotic Ed, a YouTube Channel that was deleted. Orignial recording date: 7/8/21

    Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Links we talked about:

    Episode #10. Thinking about a career in sex work? Common misconceptions about the sex work industry - with Alice Little

    10 Skills for Repair Blog Post: https://www.somaticainstitute.com/blog/10-steps-to-successful-relationship-repair/

    Dipsea: https://www.dipseastories.com/blog/the-new-look-and-feel-of-dipsea/

    ____________________

    Coach Ellen Melon links:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

  • #56. Relationship Tips: Skills for Repair - with Coach Jessica Childs

    #56. Relationship Tips: Skills for Repair - with Coach Jessica Childs

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    Do you avoid conflict? Does it feel like you're walking on eggshells in your home, in your relationships? Then you need some education around repair.

    In this episode I pull out the Erotic Ed Archives — a YouTube Channel Show hosted by S x Coaches, Jessica and Ellen Melon – where we discuss the fundamentals of a repair conversation. Repair meaning, a hard conversation after an argument or rupture between 2 people. It's important to learn repair because it is a skill of empathetic listening and self awareness that will greatly enhance your relationships. We'll talk about our own experiences with repair, our own examples of avoiding conflict, and walk through the 10 Steps of Repair, created by Celeste & Danielle of Somatica Institute.

    Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Links we talked about:

    ____________________

    Coach Ellen Melon links:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

    ____________________

  • #55. Penis size and satisfying women - with Sex Educator and Author, Kenneth Play

    #55. Penis size and satisfying women - with Sex Educator and Author, Kenneth Play

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    For those of you who struggle with not being enough — your body type, your penis size, your ethnicity — this is an episode for you.

    In this episode I interview international sex expert and sex educator, Kenneth Play. Named the “world’s greatest sex hacker” by GQ, he has been featured by more than one hundred media outlets, including The New York Times, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, Huffington Post, and Nightline.

    Kenneth is an Asian immigrant with an average-sized penis who lived most of his early life with crippling sexual insecurity. Determined to overcome this anxiety, he dedicated his life to studying the complexities of academic sex research, exploring the mysteries of Tantra, immersing himself in the forbidden world of BDSM, and even joining the lustful chaos of underground sex parties.

    We’ll talk about his journey as a young man, his current lifestyle and relationships, penis size, and squirting, He pulls a lot from his new book, BEYOND SATISFIED: A sex hacker’s guide to endless orgasms, mind blowing connection, and lasting confidence.

    In Beyond Satisfied, Kenneth shares the sex hacking secrets he’s successfully taught millions of men. This book is a cross between Bruce Lee’s mixed martial arts approach and Tim Ferriss’ 80/20 rule—but for sex. Far from just another “find her clitoris” guide, Beyond Satisfied distills hard science and hands-on experience into techniques that any man can successfully put into practice.

    Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Links we talked about:

    https://kennethplay.com/

    https://book.kennethplay.com/beyond-satisfied-bookll

    https://go.kennethplay.com/sex-hacker-pro-deal

    https://www.instagram.com/kenneth_play/

    https://www.facebook.com/kennethplaypage/

    Hacienda - desire/belonging, responsible hedonism, high novelty needs vs high security needs

    “Open Smarter” by Dr Zhana

    Squirtingsurvey.com: https://kenneth-play.mykajabi.com/encore-1620413533

    ____________________

    Coach Ellen Melon links:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

    ____________________

  • #54.

    #54. "Dating Sucks But You Don't" - An authentic conversation with Dating Coach for Men, Connell Barrett

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    How do you show up as the genuine YOU in dating? How do you know when you’re performing? How can you ensure you’re being authentic?

    In this illuminating episode, I invite Connell Barrett, Men’s Dating Coach, to talk about his book, about his journey toward becoming a dating coach, and his own relationship experiences. We talk about confidence and how it relates to trust — the foundation of a sustainable relationship.

    Connell Barrett is the author of the best selling book Dating Sucks But You Don't and a renowned dating coach for men, helping them to be their most authentic selves in a way that doesn't creep out women or treat them as a notch on the bedpost. His communication framework, called ACE — Authenticity, Clarity and Expressiveness — teaches men how to channel their most confident self. Because women love confident men.

    Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Links we talked about:

    https://datingtransformation.com/

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/howtobeyourbestself/

    https://www.instagram.com/datingtransformation/

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt-JnM8eimynPRxpQDgsirg

    ____________________

    Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

    ____________________

  • #53. How-to do intimacy and vulnerability in friendships - with best friend Amy Edler - Part 3 of 3

    #53. How-to do intimacy and vulnerability in friendships - with best friend Amy Edler - Part 3 of 3

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    “We have to belong to ourselves as much as we need to belong to others. Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.” — Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart

    Belonging is the key to intimate friendships. Never once have I felt the need to change myself or be someone else around Amy, Tom, or Hailey. I’ve always been able to be authentically received by them.

    Who is your support team? Who are the people who know how to hold you (metaphorically and physically) when you’re having a tough day? When you’re experiencing shame? Not enough-ness? Guilt? Anger? Grief?

    It took me a long time to find these people and cultivate what we have, but here is a 3 Part Series with my support team and a peek behind the curtain into what our conversations look like (via phone because they all live outside MN).

    So many clients ask me: “How do I cultivate intimate friendships?” In a society wrought with fears and securities, it’s so hard to trust anyone. It’s hard to create a foundation of safety. Both parties need to be willing to take the risk and both parties need to be open and willing to hear how the other person wants to be loved.

    In this 3 Part Series, we talk to my 3 close friends — Tom, Amy, Hailey — checking in about the state of our friendship. What’s working? What’s not? What’s hard? What’s easy? They are raw recordings containing laughter, vulnerability, compassion, and love. We are all showing up with a lot of trust in these interviews. If you need a glimpse into hard and fulfilling relationship conversations, please listen.

    Part 1 with Tom:

    In this episode, we discuss our rift in friendship over time — we questioned why friendships of the opposite gender experience distance when a new dating perspective comes into play. We talk about our college experience and how our friendship developed due to close proximity and collaboration in art projects. We also talk about why this friendship is important and what we’d like to see for ourselves in the future.

    Part 2 with Hailey:

    In this episode, Hailey and I talk about female friendships of our past — what worked and what didn’t — recognizing that a lot of those friendships were centered around drama. We revisit a very hard conversation and disagreement about vaccines to showcase how to hold both compassion (and understanding) and disagreement in both hands lovingly. We close out with what we love about our friendship and what improvement can be made.

    Hailey and I co-peer a support group every other Sunday called “Anxious Attached Hearts Club” for those with anxious attachment who need a place to work it out and find more security in their community.

    Part 3 with Amy:

    In this episode, you’ll see what a 12 year friendship looks like. I met Amy in college, so we discuss the early years of our friendship, getting to know each other, how we are both control freaks, how I tried to rescue Amy often in college (especially in her relationships). We discuss the ways in which we feel supported by each other — what we go to each other for. We’ll discuss the areas in which we can step up our friendship and define what vulnerability and intimacy means for us in our friendship. We end with some sentiments and a conversation on trust.

    Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Links we talked about:

    1on1 coaching: www.ellenmelon.com/1on1

    PARTS 1:

    https://tohumpapillow.libsyn.com/51-how-to-intimacy-and-vulnerability-in-friendships-with-dear-friend-tom-wixo-part-1-of-3

    PART 2:

    https://tohumpapillow.libsyn.com/52-how-to-do-intimacy-and-vulnerability-in-friendships-with-best-friend-hailey-hosler-part-2-of-3

    PART 3:

    https://tohumpapillow.libsyn.com/53-how-to-do-intimacy-and-vulnerability-in-friendships-with-best-friend-amy-edler-part-3-of-3

  • #52. How-to do intimacy and vulnerability in friendships - with best friend Hailey Hosler - Part 2 of 3

    #52. How-to do intimacy and vulnerability in friendships - with best friend Hailey Hosler - Part 2 of 3

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    “We have to belong to ourselves as much as we need to belong to others. Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.” — Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart

    Belonging is the key to intimate friendships. Never once have I felt the need to change myself or be someone else around Amy, Tom, or Hailey. I’ve always been able to be authentically received by them.

    Who is your support team? Who are the people who know how to hold you (metaphorically and physically) when you’re having a tough day? When you’re experiencing shame? Not enough-ness? Guilt? Anger? Grief?

    It took me a long time to find these people and cultivate what we have, but here is a 3 Part Series with my support team and a peek behind the curtain into what our conversations look like (via phone because they all live outside MN).

    So many clients ask me: “How do I cultivate intimate friendships?” In a society wrought with fears and securities, it’s so hard to trust anyone. It’s hard to create a foundation of safety. Both parties need to be willing to take the risk and both parties need to be open and willing to hear how the other person wants to be loved.

    In this 3 Part Series, we talk to my 3 close friends — Tom, Amy, Hailey — checking in about the state of our friendship. What’s working? What’s not? What’s hard? What’s easy? They are raw recordings containing laughter, vulnerability, compassion, and love. We are all showing up with a lot of trust in these interviews. If you need a glimpse into hard and fulfilling relationship conversations, please listen.

    Part 1 with Tom:

    In this episode, we discuss our rift in friendship over time — we questioned why friendships of the opposite gender experience distance when a new dating perspective comes into play. We talk about our college experience and how our friendship developed due to close proximity and collaboration in art projects. We also talk about why this friendship is important and what we’d like to see for ourselves in the future.

    Part 2 with Hailey:

    In this episode, Hailey and I talk about female friendships of our past — what worked and what didn’t — recognizing that a lot of those friendships were centered around drama. We revisit a very hard conversation and disagreement about vaccines to showcase how to hold both compassion (and understanding) and disagreement in both hands lovingly. We close out with what we love about our friendship and what improvement can be made.

    Hailey and I co-peer a support group every other Sunday called “Anxious Attached Hearts Club” for those with anxious attachment who need a place to work it out and find more security in their community.

    Part 3 with Amy:

    In this episode, you’ll see what a 12 year friendship looks like. I met Amy in college, so we discuss the early years of our friendship, getting to know each other, how we are both control freaks, how I tried to rescue Amy often in college (especially in her relationships). We discuss the ways in which we feel supported by each other — what we go to each other for. We’ll discuss the areas in which we can step up our friendship and define what vulnerability and intimacy means for us in our friendship. We end with some sentiments and a conversation on trust.

    Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    Anxious Attached Hearts Club info here: https://calendly.com/ellenmelon/anxious-attached-hearts-club?

    ____________________

    PARTS 1:

    https://tohumpapillow.libsyn.com/51-how-to-intimacy-and-vulnerability-in-friendships-with-dear-friend-tom-wixo-part-1-of-3

    PART 2:

    https://tohumpapillow.libsyn.com/52-how-to-do-intimacy-and-vulnerability-in-friendships-with-best-friend-hailey-hosler-part-2-of-3

    PART 3:

    https://tohumpapillow.libsyn.com/53-how-to-do-intimacy-and-vulnerability-in-friendships-with-best-friend-amy-edler-part-3-of-3

    __________

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

    ____________________

  • #51. How-to do intimacy and vulnerability in friendships - with dear friend Tom Wixo - Part 1 of 3

    #51. How-to do intimacy and vulnerability in friendships - with dear friend Tom Wixo - Part 1 of 3

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon
    Who is your support team? Who are the people who know how to hold you (metaphorically and physically) when you’re having a tough day? When you’re experiencing shame? Not enough-ness? Guilt? Anger? Grief? It took me a long time to find these people and cultivate what we have, but here is a 3 Part Series with my support team and a peek behind the curtain into what our conversations look like (via phone because they all live outside MN).

    So many clients ask me: “How do I cultivate intimate friendships?” In a society wrought with fears and securities, it’s so hard to trust anyone. It’s hard to create a foundation of safety. Both parties need to be willing to take the risk and both parties need to be open and willing to hear how the other person wants to be loved.

    In this 3 Part Series, we talk to my 3 close friends — Tom, Amy, Hailey — checking in about the state of our friendship. What’s working? What’s not? What’s hard? What’s easy? They are raw recordings containing laughter, vulnerability, compassion, and love. We are all showing up with a lot of trust in these interviews. If you need a glimpse into hard and fulfilling relationship conversations, please listen.

    Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Links we talked about:

    #13. How dating and sex has changed from your early 20s to approaching 30s - an honest conversation with my dear friend Tom

    ____________________

    Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

    ____________________

  • #50.

    #50. "Fawn: When No Looks Like Yes" — Authentic sexuality and receiving pleasure - with Sex-Educator & Researcher, Nischa Phair, Part 2 of 2

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    In this episode, I invite Nischa Phair back for a deep dive on receiving pleasure, authentic sexuality and how they are related. Nischa tells us about how pleasure “is relational thing” — it is an outward thing that we share. She talks about how authentic sexuality is a commitment to a process — something we might not always practice well, but try our best next time. She also speaks to some other off-topics like “collapsing the vanilla-kink duality,” “tend and befriend” behavior, and how breath and pleasure work together. All of these topics can be found in her book: FAWN: When No Looks Like Yes, available where books are sold.

    Don’t forget to catch Part 1: #49. "Fawn: When No Looks Like Yes" — Her new book on the nervous system, ignoring red flags, and fawning — where we unpack the definition of fawning. How our nervous system is informed by the outside world. What happens in our body when we fawn — a shut down below the diaphragm. She tells us how this might be the reason women are without libido and disconnected from their pleasure and erotic energy. Nischa tells us her story and direct experiences of fawning.

    Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Links we talked about:

    https://www.nischaphair.com/site/about

    https://www.instagram.com/nischaphair/

    Buy the book: https://www.nischaphair.com/fawn-book

    ____________________

    Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

    ____________________

  • #49.

    #49. "Fawn: When No Looks Like Yes" — Her new book on the nervous system, ignoring red flags, and fawning - with Sex-Educator & Researcher, Nischa Phair, Part 1 of 2

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Links we talked about:

    https://www.nischaphair.com/site/about

    https://www.instagram.com/nischaphair/

    Buy the book: https://www.nischaphair.com/fawn-book

    ____________________

    Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

    ____________________

    Sources:

    Nicole LePera Instagram Post on Fawning: https://www.instagram.com/p/CTw_nUglQW7/

  • #48.

    #48. "The Pleasure is All Yours" - her new book and the importance of somatic work - with Dr Rachel Allyn, Holistic Psychologist

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon
    Isn’t pleasure supposed to be gluttonous? Is too much pleasure a bad thing? Maybe. But not enough pleasure might be worse. “Pleasure” is a word many associate with sexual experiences. But pleasure sits alongside joy, gratitude, and our erotic energy – all the stuff that makes us feel alive.

    In this episode, Dr Rachel Allyn and I discuss how sex and pleasure were discussed in her home growing up, and what exactly is somatic therapy? Dr Rachel will tell us about her framework and practice of Bodyfullness and unpack what’s in her new book!

    About the book, “The Pleasure is All Yours”:

    Reconnect and reclaim your inner sense of pleasure and joy through the embodiment practices of bodyfulness, which put you in touch with the natural wisdom of your body and enhance your connection with others.

    In this timely guide, holistic psychologist, relationship and sex therapist, and yoga teacher Dr. Rachel Allyn introduces bodyfulness, an expansion of mindfulness and embodiment method that awakens the body's own capacity for healing and joy.

    Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Links we talked about:

    https://www.drrachelallyn.com/

    https://www.thepleasureisallyoursbook.com/

    ____________________

    Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

    ____________________

  • #47. Informal sex stories - with Erotic Ed Somatic Coaches Jessica Childs and Ellen Melon

    #47. Informal sex stories - with Erotic Ed Somatic Coaches Jessica Childs and Ellen Melon

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    In this episode, sex coaches Jessica Childs and Ellen Melon compare sexual experiences. Raw, informal, honest, we share insight on what sex and intimacy are...messy, complex, playful, silly, and erotic.

    Originally recorded for Erotic Ed YouTube Channel on 8/5/21.

    Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Links we talked about:

    https://www.facebook.com/OracleIntimacy

    Pleasure Priestess Program here: https://www.ellenmelon.com/1on1

    ____________________

    Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

    ____________________

  • #46. Self-compassion practice: How to talk to your inner child - with Erotic Ed Somatic Coaches Jessica Childs & Ellen Melon

    #46. Self-compassion practice: How to talk to your inner child - with Erotic Ed Somatic Coaches Jessica Childs & Ellen Melon

    · To Hump A Pillow with Coach Ellen Melon

    Do you know how to talk to yourself nicely during hard or frustrating times? During times of anger or being triggered? Did you know that our level of emotional neglect directly impacts our ability to self-regulate and self soothe (in healthy ways)? Interested in tools and ways to show yourself compassion? In this episode, Somatic coaches, Jessica Childs and Ellen Melon walk through what self compassion is and how it sounds. Learn how to nurture yourself – the way you never got from your parents. Originally recorded on August 18 2021 for video.

    Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Stitcher. Click link in bio for listening options.

    Interested in working with a Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach? Apply for 1on1 or couples coaching with me: www.ellenmelon.com/intimacy-coaching

    ____________________

    Links we talked about:

    https://www.facebook.com/OracleIntimacy

    Pleasure Priestess Program here: https://www.ellenmelon.com/1on1

    ____________________

    Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach and Un-Educator, Ellen Melon can be found:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ellenmelonshow/

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ellenmelonshow

    Website: https://www.ellenmelon.com

    ____________________

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