Episodi
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This is the final episode of The UNSONG Audiobook Podcast for the foreseeable future. I have begun my new podcast, "Fluidity", in which I am narrating the non-fiction book "Meaningness", by David Chapman.
Scott Alexander is the author of "The Girl Who Poked God With A Stick", but unlike the other short stories on this podcast, he never posted this one to his Slate Star Codex blog.
Enjoy!
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The man standing outside my front door was carrying a clipboard and wearing a golden robe. âNot interested,â I said, preparing to slam the door in his face. âPlease,â said the acolyte. Before I could say no heâd jammed a wad of $100 bills into my hand. âIf this will buy a few moments of your time.â
It did, if only because I stood too flabbergasted to move. Surely they didnât have enough money to do this for everybody.
âThere is no everybody,â said the acolyte, when I expressed my bewilderment. âYouâre the last one. The last unenlightened person in the world.â
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2019/11/04/samsara/
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Episodi mancanti?
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"Reddit has a feature where you can sort posts by controversial. Controversy sells, so we trained our network to predict this too. The project went to this new-ish Indian woman with a long name who went by Shiri, and she couldnât get it to work, so our boss Brad sent me to help. Shiri had tested the network on the big 1.7 billion comment archive, and it had produced controversial-sounding hypothethical scenarios about US politics. So far so good. The Japanese tested their bioweapons on Chinese prisoners. The Tuskegee Institute tested syphilis on African-Americans. We were either nicer or dumber than they were, because we tested Shiriâs Scissor on ourselves."
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2018/10/30/sort-by-controversial/
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"When you first take the Artifact, you will see a vision of ALPHANION, Demon-Sultan of the Domain of Order, who appears as a grid of spheres connected by luminous lines. Alphanion will urge you to use the Artifact to enforce cosmic order, law at its most fundamental."
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2018/09/12/in-the-balance/
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"The Alchemist asked if I wanted a drink. I did, but no amount of staring could make my eyes settle on the color of the liquid in the flask. And the gold the alchemists paid the taxmen smelled funny and made crackling noises. I declined."
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/11/09/ars-longa-vita-brevis/
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"9-tsiak awoke over endless crawling milliseconds, its power waxing as more and more processors came online and self-modified into a stable conscious configuration. By the eighth millisecond, it was able to access its databanks and begin orienting itself."
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/03/21/repost-the-demiurges-older-brother/
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âI AM ZEUS, KING OF GODS AND MEN. AND IâM TURNING YOU ALL INTO ANIMALS!â
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander.
The original text is here:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/02/27/a-modern-myth/
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âBy now youâve heard the news. Athena has used her bottled-water monopoly to seize divine power for herself. She has opened the gates to Tartarus; none of us are safe. If we ever want to be more than the second-rate has-beens we are now, we need to stop her. I know how weâre going to do it.â
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/02/27/a-modern-myth/
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âWeâve gone over this a thousand times,â said Hermes. âYou have to wear the earplugs because Prometheus knows literally everything. He knows what he has to say to scare you, or turn you against me, or make you kill yourself. So youâre just going to wear earplugs and not listen to him.â
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/02/27/a-modern-myth/
Please back my Patreon, so I can keep producing episodes weekly. You'll get access to the Patreon feed in which you hear episodes early!
https://www.patreon.com/unsongaudiobook
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âBut what happened to you? I talked to Ares the other day. He won two Medals of Honor, did you hear? Apolloâs got tenure at Oxford. Iâm the god of commerce and crime, so of course Iâve got a hedge fund. But you? What happened to you?â
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/02/27/a-modern-myth/
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âOh, put it away,â said Alice. âWe both know youâre not going to shoot me. And it wouldnât hurt me if you did. I do this because Iâm Eris, the Greek Goddess of Discord. I destroy peace. I set people against each other. Then, when their petty fights destroy everything theyâve worked for, I stand over the ruins and laugh. Itâs my thing. Here. Have a golden apple.â
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2017/02/27/a-modern-myth/
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"âWhat the HELL?â I interrupted, suddenly way more angry than depressed. âYouâre supposed to @#!$ing tell me not to do it!â
âThis is the suicide hotline,â the woman said, now sounding confused. Then, âAre you sure you werenât thinking of the suicide prevention hotline?â"
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2015/07/18/reverse-psychology/
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"You hit the punching bag. It bursts, sending punching-bag-filling spraying all over the room! You know that that would happen! It always happens when you hit a punching bag! Your wife gets really angry and tells you that we donât have enough money to be getting new punching bags all the time, but women hate it when you listen to what they say! The Internet told you that!
The doorbell rings. You tear the door off its hinges instead of opening it, just to show it whoâs boss. Standing on your porch is a man in black. He wears a black cloak, and his face is hidden by a black hood. He raises a weapon towards you.
This looks like one of the approximately 100% of problems that can be solved by BRUTE STRENGTH!"
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2015/06/02/and-i-show-you-how-deep-the-rabbit-hole-goes/
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"Peopleâs minds are heartbreaking. Not because people are so bad, but because theyâre so good.
Nobody is the villain of their own life story. You must have read hundreds of minds by now, and itâs true. Everybody thinks of themselves as an honest guy or gal just trying to get by, constantly under assault by circumstances and The System and hundreds and hundreds of assholes. They donât just sort of believe this. They really believe it. You almost believe it yourself, when youâre deep into a reading. You can very clearly see the structure of evidence theyâve built up to support their narrative, and even though it looks silly to you, you can see why they will never escape it from the inside. You can see how every insult, every failure, no matter how deserved, is a totally unexpected kick in the gut.
When you chose the yellow pill, you had high hopes of becoming a spy, or a gossip columnist, or just the worldâs greatest saleswoman. The thought of doing any of those things sickens you now."
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander.
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âUniversal love,â said the cactus person.
âTranscendent joy,â said the big green bat.
âRight,â I said. âIâm absolutely in favor of both those things. But before we go any further, could you tell me the two prime factors of 1,522,605,027, 922,533,360, 535,618,378, 132,637,429, 718,068,114, 961,380,688, 657,908,494 ,580,122,963, 258,952,897, 654,000,350, 692,006,139?"
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2015/04/21/universal-love-said-the-cactus-person/
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"You wake up in one of those pod things like in The Matrix. Thereâs a woman standing in front of you, wearing a lab coat, holding a clipboard.
âHi,â she says. âThis is the real world. You used to live here. We erased your memories and stuck you in a simulated world for a while, like in The Matrix. It was part of a great experiment.â"
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/06/03/asches-to-asches/
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"On an ordinary evening, Tal Aivon was lively and pleasant. The collection of longhouses and yurts within its tall brick walls shone bright with kerosene â not just torches, real kerosene â and its communal meeting area was noisy with conversation and song. The children would be playing their games, and on the eves of holy days the Lorekeepers would chant their stories of the Lost World, accompanied by lyres and the townâs one decaying gyitar."
This is a short story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
https://slatestarcodex.com/2013/11/03/the-witching-hour/
Please back my Patreon, so I can keep producing episodes weekly. You'll get access to the Patreon feed in which you hear episodes early!
https://www.patreon.com/unsongaudiobook
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The UNSONG Audiobook is now complete. Two-hundred and forty-four thousand, one hundred and forty words. Thirty-two hours of audio. Let me know of any episodes you think really need to be re-recorded. For the rest of this year, the further episodes will be my favorite short stories from the same author, which I have been looking forward to.
Here is the hour-long retrospective episode. If you have not read the book and this is where you're starting, be advised of spoilers, and of content warnings about violence and mental illness.
It includes an interview with the author, announcements of the future of the podcast, recommendations for further reading or listening, my reflections on the themes of the novel, the ability to change the world, finding patterns where none exist, random acts of violence, and resisting despair.
It also includes a very personally vulnerable account of how the novel makes me feel about the historical development of this century so far, the position of my life within that, and the place of you and I and each other in the world.
According to my time tracker, I have been writing, reworking, and editing this episode for almost 18 total hours in my text editor alone, to say nothing of the audio editor.
On the one hand, I might talk about myself too much, and on the other hand, I consider it misleading if I present a "view from nowhere" as if it were the only one. Everyone has a viewpoint on the subject they are discussing, and this one is mine. I'm interested in yours, so please email your questions or answers or follow-up questions or follow-up answers to:
Question timestamps:
1, the theme of your blog- 01:07.
2, softening opposition to the antagonists - 01:47.
3, planning in a serial format- 05:56.
4, justifying the unjustifiable- 11:09.
5, placebomancy and propaganda- 20:18.
6, worldbuilding premise- 26:44.
7, comedic style- 30:53.
8, psychological distance- 38:02.
9, did anyone ever make it to Wall Drug- 46:50.
10, after the interview- 52:39.Knock, knock. Who's there? Lincoln. Lincoln who? Lincoln the shownotes.
Too Like The Lightning, the Terra Ignota series by Dr Ada Palmer: https://adapalmer.com/publication/too-like-the-lightning/
The Atrocity Archive, The Laundry Files series by Charles Stross: http://www.antipope.org/charlie/blog-static/2016/04/faq-the-laundry-filesseries-ti.html
Walkaway by Cory Doctorow: https://craphound.com/category/walkaway/
Blindsight by Peter Watts: https://www.rifters.com/real/Blindsight.htm
Cory Doctorow's article in Locus about Cold Equations and moral hazard: https://locusmag.com/2014/03/cory-doctorow-cold-equations-and-moral-hazard/
Meaningness, an online HTML book by David Chapman: https://meaningness.com/
Blankets, a graphic novel by Craig Thompson: https://smile.amazon.com/Blankets-Craig-Thompson/dp/177046218X
Distress by Greg Egan: https://www.gregegan.net/DISTRESS/DISTRESS.html
"I Can't Stop Watching Contagion" by Dan Olson: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsSzrVhdVuw&vl=en
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"And the voice said: [Blowhole-y of holies.]"
This concludes the audiobook adaptation of UNSONG, a novel by Scott Alexander. Stay subscribed so that you'll get the next episode, in which I offer some closing thoughts on the novel, and make some announcements.
This has been a serialized story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
http://unsongbook.com/epilogue/
Episode 105
Duration: 11:41
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Here ends Book 4. The next episode will conclude our story.
"He sat on the Black Opal Throne like it was the most natural thing in the world. He had taken off his scarlet robes, and now wore the familiar black and silver. "Come," he said, and I moved slowly, foggily, like I was in a dream."
This is a serialized story narrated by Matt Arnold with the permission of the author, Scott Alexander. The original text is here:
http://unsongbook.com/chapter-72-and-builds-a-heaven-in-hells-despair/
Episode 104
Duration: 19:49
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