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Just because your marriage isn't what you thought it would be, or what you think it should be, or what you'd hoped it might be, doesn't mean you're stuck being unhappy forever. The good news is there are practical steps you can take to increase the joy in your life. And, the best news is you don't have to take them on your own.
Here is the theme verse of this episode:
"With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible"
(Jesus - Matthew 19:26)If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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Shame is one of the most powerful, influential emotions we can experience. It's also one feeling that's very difficult to admit or discuss. In this episode I define shame, talk about where it comes from, and most importantly, share how we can be set free from it.
Here are a few of the key bible verses I reference:
âI have sinned against youâonly against youâ and done what you consider evil. So you are right in judging me; you are justified in condemning me.â
(Psalm 51:4, GNT)
âTherefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of Godâ
(Hebrews 12:2).
âAnd whoever believes on Him will not be put to shameâ
(Paul- Romans 9:33, 10:11; Peter- 1 Peter 2:6).If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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You might be surprised at how much you "self talk," and how much it affects you. In this episode I explain self talk, demonstrate how it can impact your life, and share how God can help you change it- which in turn will change your life.
Here are a few (there are many more!) verses from Scripture which address the issue of self talk:
âBe careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.â (Prov. 4:23, GNT)âAnd do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mindâŠâ (Romans 12:2)
ââŠbringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of ChristâŠâ
(2 Cor. 10:3-6)ââŠput offâŠthe old manâŠand be renewed in the spirit of your mind, andâŠput on the new manâŠâ (Eph. 4:22-24)
âFinally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble,
whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthyâmeditate on (think about) these things.â (Philippians 4:8)If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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God calls us as Christ followers to help others. Jesus is our perfect example of this. However, not all "helping" is helpful. In fact, sometimes our helping can actually be harmful. In this episode I explain what this unhelpful helping, also known as "enabling," looks like. I also discuss the deep reasons why we enable. And, I share some strategies you can implement to begin to stop enabling.
God can meet your need for:
safety/security (Psalm 16:8)
peace (John 16:33)
connection/companionship (Matthew 28:20)
provision (Philippians 4:19)
control/order (Isaiah 41:10)
self-esteem/respect/identity (Psalm 139:14; 2 Cor. 5:17)
purpose (Romans 8:28)
love!!! (1 John 3:1, 4:16)If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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I've learned that despite the fact the we know God forgives us, many of us struggle to forgive ourselves. What makes this so hard? Is forgiving ourselves even the right thing to do? If so, how in the world do we go about doing it?
In this episode I reference a website I use all the time and find very helpful:
www.blueletterbible.org. Check it out.
A couple of relevant verses about forgiveness:
"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus"
(Romans 8:1).
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9).If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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God designed the marriage relationship to be the most intimate of all. Yet, sometimes we don't feel the closeness and connection we'd like to experience with our spouses. In this episode, I offer three practical strategies you can begin to implement today, which I guarantee will help you grow closer and more connected to each other.
Here are the key biblical references I mention in this episode:
âTherefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.â (Genesis 2:24)
âYou must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.â (James 1:19)
âSpeaking the truth in loveâŠâ (Ephesians 4:15)
âWherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.â
(Matthew 6:21)
âDraw near to God and He will draw near to you.â (James 4:8)If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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We all have our fears-we may not even be aware of some of them. They're impacting our lives more than we realize, and we tend to try to cope with them in unhelpful, unhealthy ways. In this episode, I share some healthy responses to fear, and explain how God can help us deal with it.
âFear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.â
(Isaiah 41:10)
âI sought the Lord, and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears.â
(Psalm 34:4)If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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Marriage is challenging for all of us, because no spouse is perfect. But, some spouses are extremely difficult- even to the point of being "toxic." In this episode, I describe characteristics of a toxic spouse, and I offer some practical strategies to implement to help you cope in a very difficult situation.
Some excerpts from the Bible describing God's plan for marriage:
âLove is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
It does not demand its own way.
It is not irritable,
and it keeps no record of being wronged.â
(1 Cor. 13:4-5)âwivesâŠsubmit to your husbands as to the LordâŠ
husbandsâŠlove your wivesâŠas Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for herâŠhusbands ought to love their wives
as they love their own bodiesâŠ
each man must love his wife as he loves himself,
and the wife must respect her husband.â (Eph. 5:22-33)
ââŠhusbands must give honor to your wives.
Treat your wife with understanding as you live togetherâŠ
Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.â (1 Peter 3:7)If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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Temptation is something we all deal with. What makes it so difficult? What can we do to avoid giving in to it? How can God help us? In this episode, I offer some answers to these critical questions.
Jesus' challenge to do "whatever it takes" to avoid giving in to temptation can be found in Matthew 5:29-30.
God's promise to get us out of any temptation we face can be found in I Corinthians 10:13.
The apostle Paulâs encouragement to us to fill our minds with good things can be found in Philippians 4:8.
Paulâs experience with his "thorn in the flesh" is discussed in II Corinthians chapter 12:7-10.
God's invitation for us to come to him boldly is recorded Hebrews 4:15-16.
If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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Do you ever feel confused, ashamed, or frustrated about how you feel? Have you ever wondered why you feel a certain way? Are you struggling with how to deal with your emotions? Should you deny them, ignore them, or go with them? In this episode, I address the issue of what to do with our feelings, and how we can learn to manage them in a godly, biblical way.
Here's what God says about our hearts:
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind" (Jeremiah 17:9-10).
Some instances when Jesus exhibited various emotions:
John 11:1-44 (the death of Lazarus)
Luke 22:39-46; Matthew 26:36-46 (Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane)
John 2:13-17; Matthew 21:12-13 (Jesus clears our the temple)
Jesus understands what we go through:
"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are- yet He did not sin" (Hebrews 4:15).
David's prayer can be ours as well:
"Create in me a clean heart, O Lord" (Psalm 51:10).If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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Have you been through a tough season of suffering? Are you experiencing significant suffering right now? In this episode, I wrestle with why we suffer, and share realities about suffering that can help us get through it.
Some of the Scripture I reference in this episode:
âBeloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christâs sufferings, that when His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joyâ (1 Peter 4:12-13).
âAnd we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purposeâ (Romans 8:28).
âAnd not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hopeâ (Romans 5:3-4).
âFor to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His stepsâ (1 Peter 2:21).
âAnd after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, & establish youâ
(1 Peter 5:10).
âHe will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed awayâ (Revelation 21:4).
âBlessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflictionâŠâ (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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Are you struggling with feelings of loneliness? All of us do. In this episode, I explain how, with God's help, you can not only cope with these feelings, but even allow Him to use them for good in your life.
Some of the biblical references I use in this episode include:
Psalm 31:1 (David's cry to the Lord)
Matthew 27:46 (Jesus' cry to His Father)
Psalm 139 (your homework!)
Psalm 145:18 (God's promise to those who call on Him)
I encourage you to read more about the life and ministry of Elizabeth Elliot.If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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What makes you mad? How do you handle your angry feelings? Is it sometimes OK to get angry? What does God say about anger? In this episode, I examine reasons we get angry, I discuss "righteous" vs. "unrighteous" anger, and I share some practical strategies to help you better manage your angry feelings.
Some of the Scriptural references included in this episode:
âPeople with understanding control their anger;
a hot temper shows great foolishness.â
(Proverbs 14:29, NLT)
âHuman anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.â
(James 1:20, NLT)
âBut I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.â
(Jesus - Matthew 5:22, NLT)
âBe angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.â
(Ephesians 4:26, ESV)
âGod is a just judge, and God is angry with the wicked every day.â (Psalm 7:11, NKJV)
âAnd when He had looked around at them with anger, being grieved by the hardness of their hearts, He said to the man, âStretch out your hand.â And he stretched it out, and his hand was restored as whole as the other.â
(Mark 3:5, NKJV)
âBut when Jesus saw it, He was greatly displeased and said to them, âLet the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.ââ
(Mark 10:14, NKJV)
âWhoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.â
(Proverbs 16:32, ESV)If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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The holidays are often a difficult season for many of us. One in which we experience a variety of emotions. We can be torn between how we want to feel, what we think we should feel, and what we actually experience. In this episode, I examine some specific reasons why our holidays can be so difficult. I also present three intentional strategies we can implement to help us better enjoy them.
The biblical references mentioned in this episode include:
"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world" (John 16:33).
"But let your 'yes' be 'yes,' and your 'no,' 'no.' For whatever is more than these is from the evil one." (Matthew 5:37).
"If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth" (Colossians 3:1-2).If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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Are you feeling stuck in an unhappy, unhealthy relationship that seems like itâs never going to get better? Do you sometimes feel no matter how hard you try, you can never change? In this episode, I examine five ways in which you might be contributing to your own problems, and I offer some practical suggestions for how, with Godâs help, you can move forward.
Biblical references I mention in this episode:
âFear not, for I am with you;
be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, I will help you,
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.â
(Isaiah 41:10)
âTrust in the Lord with all your heart,
and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He will direct your paths.â
(Proverbs 3:5-6)
âWhen pride comes, then comes shame;
But with the humble is wisdom.â
(Proverb 11:2)
âGod opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.â
(James 4:6)
âIf we confess our sins,
He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins,
and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.â
(1 John 1:9)
âThere is therefore now no condemnation
for those who are in Christ Jesus.â
(Romans 8:1)
âBehold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
And in the hidden part
You will make me to know wisdom.â
(Psalm 51:6)
âSearch me, God, and know my heart;
Put me to the test and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there is any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.â
(Psalm 139:23-24)If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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What is the "secret" to being emotionally healthy?
Why are some relationships better and more satisfying than others?
How come some people are so much easier to get along with than others
(and, vice-versa)?
In this episode, I discuss the one essential factor I believe answers these questions.
The bad news is not everyone has it; but, the good news is each of us can develop it.
Here are some of the Scripture references I include in this episode:
âBehold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.â
(Psalm 51:6)âKeep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.â
(Proverbs 4:23)âAnd why do you look at the speck in your brotherâs eye,
but do not consider the plank in your own eye?
Or how can you say to your brother, âLet me remove the speck from your eyeâ;
and look, a plank is in your own eye?
Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye,
and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brotherâs eye.â
(Jesus - Matthew 7:1-5)
The heart is deceitful above all things,
And desperately wicked;
Who can know it?
I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mindâ
(Jeremiah 17:9-10).âEvery way of a man is right in his own eyes,
But the Lord weighs the hearts.â
(Proverbs 21:2)âSearch me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlastingâ
(Psalm 139:23-24).If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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If you could go back in time and tell your younger self the 3 most important things you need to know about marriage, what would you say? In this episode, I reveal what I would say. Whether you're not yet married but someday hope to be, you're newly married, or you've been married for a long time, I believe these 3 truths can revolutionize your perspective on marriage, and help you and your spouse enjoy your relationship more than you ever have before.
Biblical references from this episode:
1 Thessalonians 4:3
Genesis 1:31
Philippians 2:4
John 1:16If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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Are you struggling with anxiety? Do you ever wonder why you're so anxious? Are you frustrated and discouraged because you can't seem to get over it? In this episode, Robb analyzes reasons why we experience anxiety, discusses what God, in His Word, says about anxiety, and shares several practical strategies to cope with it, including a surprising perspective you may not have considered before.
Some of the biblical passages referred to in this episode are:
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God" (Philippians 4:6).
"And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground" (Luke 22:44).
"Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you,
Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand" (Isaiah 41:10).
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6).
"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30).
The exercise I mentioned to specifically cope with a panic attack is called the "333 Rule." Learn more about it at https://thriveworks.com/help-with/anxiety/what-is-3-3-3-rule-for-anxiety/.If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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Do you sometimes feel frustrated, embarrassed, or ashamed about things you say or do? Do you ever wonder why you do things you don't want to do, and why you seem unable to change? In this episode, Robb discusses one primary reason we say and do things we wish we didn't. He talks about how our pasts influence our present, and what that can look like. And, he shares some practical steps we can take to get free from our pasts.
In this episode, I reference the bible passages below which I encourage you to read, study, meditate upon, and even memorize. God can use these truths to help you view your past the way He does- and this can set you free.
âIf we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins
and to cleanse us from all unrighteousnessâ (1 John 1:9).âIf anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;
old things have passed away;
behold all things have become newâ (Corinthians 5:17).âForgetting those things which are behind
and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,
I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesusâ
(Philippians 3:13-14).âThere is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesusâ
(Romans 8:1).If you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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Are you in a relationship with, or married to, a narcissist? Are you looking for some help navigating this challenging relationship? In this episode, Robb shares a biblical perspective on narcissism, discusses common narcissistic behaviors, explains why narcissists behave the way they do, and provides six specific strategies you can begin to implement right away to give you hope and help in your relationship and your life.
Two books I recommend which I believe will be very helpful to you:
"Is It Abuse" by Darby Strickland
"Boundaries" by Henry Cloud and John TownsendIf you're interested in learning more about me, or to schedule a counseling appointment (either in person, or remotely using Zoom), or to arrange a speaking engagement, reach out to me at my website at www.robboram.com, or text or call me at (805) 312-8715.
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