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Has your daughter ever experienced a memory from the past thatâs so vivid she can recall it as if it happened yesterday? Maybe itâs a cringe-worthy moment she wishes she could erase or maybe itâs an incredible experience that redefined her.
Either way, THAT moment may be playing a crucial role in your daughterâs behavior, development, and relationships without her awareness.
Iâve certainly had my fair share of cringe-worthy and redefining moments and today weâre diving headfirst into one of them. But fear not, the more important part of this conversation is the powerful exercise your daughter is going to learn so she can honor all her experiences and use them to take inspired action towards measurable growth.
Hey parents,
Iâm so happy to be with you all â from the US, to Canada, Europe, Asia, South America and Australia, thank you so much for being part of the Cultivating Resilient Teens community today as we talk about and unpack your daughterâs âstories.â And by stories Iâm referring to your daughterâs interpretation of her past experiences and how she explains or describes them to you.
StoriesMaybe your daughter is long winded, and shares every single detail, or maybe she just throws out a few details on the fly. Either way, all your daughterâs adventures in lifeâŠthe beautiful ones and the painful ones are ultimately filtered through her internal operating system, or personal decoding system, and then shared via her unique narrative.
But in this fast-paced, distraction-filled world it can be tough as parents to:· Identify which details or events to pay attention to
· And how to remain a steady presence when your daughterâs dealing with an unsettling situation
So today I want to share with you the importance of listening deeply as your daughterâs story is unfoldingâŠhow your daughter refers to her role, or talks about herself, when sheâs sharing her story with you.
The Heart of the MatterBecause this is where the real information lies, or what I call the the heart of the matter. By identifying the heart of the matter youâll be able to quickly provide your daughter with what she really needs.
Please donât let your daughter go through another day just zoning out, numbing out, or disconnecting from her unique gift because inspired action doesnât happen by accident, nor does growth.
ResourcesIf youâre not sure where your daughter may need support right now now, please take the quick quiz Discover: Is Your Teen Daughter Resilient Enough for All of Lifeâs Adventures? so you can identify the heart of the matter and where to best support her.
Okay my friends, from near and far, until next time, hereâs to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of lifeâs adventures.
Links
Episode - 16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?
Brene Brown Quote from The Gifts of Imperfection âLoving ourselves through the process is the bravest thing weâll ever do.â
Discover: Is Your Teen Daughter Resilient Enough for All of Lifeâs Adventures?
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Have you seen it yet? That moment when your daughter comes home from school after the long break and looks at you with wary eyes, a furrowed brow and lips that appear to be moving but sheâs stumbling over her words and thereâs no audible sound.
I feel like weâve all been there. That moment in time where you want to clearly articulate the thoughts swirling around in your head and release the mixed emotions weighing you down, but the sense of overwhelm creates a frustrating mental block and prevents you from saying anything at all.
The clients in my 90 Days to a More Resilient Teencoaching program are reporting that the all the big emotions, especially their mixed emotions about being back in school after a long break is causing them to grapple with their desire to see their friends and get back to a productive routine AND manage their long list of expectations, and the inevitable social uncertainties and âwhat ifsâ.
Thatâs why weâre going to talk about 3 simple tips thatâll make your daughterâs mind work FOR her instead of against her by dissolving her mental blocks, so she has the clarity she needs to walk confidently into her future. Youâll find the full episode and more resources for parenting your teenage daughter at cultivatingresilientteens.com
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Fehlende Folgen?
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Iâve never been a fan of new yearâs resolutions. Maybe itâs because the conversations I had with my mom were more about reinventing ourselves. And so, Iâve always been a believer that you donât need to wait until tomorrow, next month or for a big milestone â you can begin again â anytime.
Beginning again is simply about tuning in and being honest with yourself. Which, Iâll admit, wasnât always easy for me. Growing up I was labeled as the âshyâ girl. But in reality, my shy demeanor was a byproduct of being highly sensitive.
And, if your daughter is a big feeler, please know that itâs a natural instinct to want to ignore or disengage from lifeâs challenges, especially if they feel too big and unsolvable.
The game changing point and the first step to cultivating a resilient teen for all her adventures in life is to develop self K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E or a clear sense of self.
This approach helped me embrace my gifts so I could begin again with an open-heart and clear mind and be who I wanted to be and show up how I wanted to show up in life.
Thatâs why Iâm excited to share a fan favorite strategy with you in todayâs episode. Itâs a strategy that you and your daughter can start using right now â no need to wait until the ball drops at midnight or you open up your 2024 calendar.
You can find the full episode and more resources for parenting your teenage daughter at https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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We all know that comparison is a confidence killer. But âwhat ifâ you flip the coin and look at the other side of comparison as a catalyst, a sign, that youâre ready to create more for yourself? Begin again.
The cool thing about learning how to flip the coin and begin again is itâs not as hard as your daughter might think it is and hereâs whyâŠher experiences â all of them - the messy ones and the amazing ones serve as a personal signpost, to offer guidance for all her adventures in life.
The million-dollar question isâŠis your daughter paying attention to the signs as she moves through her journey, or is she just going through the motions, allowing her external environment to dictate her mood and her past to dictate her future?
In todayâs episode weâre going to unpack why itâs so important for your daughter to learn how to stop, look and listen so she can become adept at interpreting what each life lesson, each signpost, is offering. Because when sheâs tuned in and exercising agency over her adventures in life, sheâll naturally see her significance, that she matters and that see that she has something unique to offer the world.
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Is it time to calm your daughter's exam anxiety?
Hey Parents,
Parenting teenagers is no small feat, but being a parent during final exams is akin to stepping into the realm of unsung heroes. I remember thinking that I could write my final psych paper while also listening to Princeâs new album, Purple Rain. I also remember my mom walking into my room, shaking her head, and telling me this approach wasnât going to work.
Unfortunately, my lack of self-awareness at the time left me sitting with a blank sheet of paper for the better half of my Sunday afternoon until I finally turned off the tape and got to work.
But hey, I memorized all the lyrics â that counts for something, right?
Anyway, the funny - not funny thing is the real issue, what was ACTUALLY keeping me from writing my paper, was never addressed.
The focus was only on time management. And while time management is important, thereâs something more important because itâs probably keeping your daughter from doing what she needs to do.
A crucial skill she hasnât learned â yet.
So, in todayâs episode, weâre going to address that crucial skill â mind management. Weâre going to dive into 3 Stress-Busting Steps that will prime your daughterâs mind so she can maximize her mind and her time.
Youâll find the full episode and more resources for parenting your teenage daughter at https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/podcast/
Links: Ep â 41 The 3 Main Issues That Cause Social Anxiety and How to âGrow Throughâ These Challenges
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Hey parents, is your daughterâs social life running her or is she running her social life?
Teenage girls come to me all the time feeling confused, hurt, and distraught by other peopleâs behavior. When someone says or does something thatâs inconsistent with your perception of them, or different from how you believe theyâre supposed to behave, it creates internal conflict. And internal conflict turns around and creates anxiety.As you might imagine, I hear a lot about the daily lives of teenage girls in my 90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program. So, if youâre not sure if your daughterâs social life is running her or if sheâs running her social life, or why this is even important, stay tuned.
For years my clients, teenage girls, have reported that their social scenarios consume 60% or more of their emotional bandwidth. Meaning, if thereâs something stirring within her tribe or thereâs a perceived social conflict, itâs really hard to concentrate in class, or be fully present with you at home.
The 3 Main Issues: Rank, Reputation and Rumors
Wouldnât it be nice if social conflicts were less impactful or just disappeared altogether! Iâm here to tell you, as strange as it may sound, that these conflicts offer an opportunity for your daughter to grow through what sheâs going through.
Yes, itâs true. With the right tools, your daughter will cultivate her confidence, resilience, and integrity when she sees that she can handle and grow from any conflict.
While there are a zillion social scenarios that can be anxiety provoking, there are three that I repeatedly hear about. Because when theyâre active, they turn a mild social
conflict into a scary, intimidating one.The Entrance Strategy
The good news is, this episode introduces you to an effective, simple strategy your daughter can use anytime and anywhere!
Whatâs The Entrance Strategy? The Entrance Strategy consists of 3 clarifying and empowering questions that will give your daughter what she needs to âgrow throughâ whatâs sheâs going through.Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Hey parents,
Does your daughterâs anxiety come from thinking about her future, or trying to control it?
Itâs no mystery that uncertainty has the power to ignite the strongest human emotions â anxiety and fear.
And if fear and anxiety are the âkryptoniteâ that are keeping your daughter from establishing the friendships she craves or developing a strong sense of self, stay tuned.
This episode is designed to help you empower your teenage daughter so sheâs:
· ready to handle anything that comes her way
· and cultivate friendships that make her laugh until she cries (in a good way, of course!)
Okay, I donât know about you, but I my relationship with anxiety and fear are definitely a work-in-progress.
And as a parent and teen coach, my private coaching clients consistently share stories with me where fear is almost always the cause, or undercurrent, thatâs fueling their anxiety.
If you think about how uneasy you feel when everything around you is unpredictable, itâs human nature to seek control where you can - or - where you think you can.
Welcome back to the cultivating resilient teens podcast where you can always find the show notes and resources on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.
Podcast Resources
Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?
Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios
Anxiety Quote: âOur anxiety does not come from thinking about the future, but from wanting to control itâ by Author Kahlil Gibran
Book: Enough As She Is by Rachel Simmons
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Hey Parents,
Is your teenage daughter feeling a bit overwhelmed by âall the thingsâ right now?
whatâs going on around her? how she fits into her world?and how to be okay with missing something?The fear of missing out and the fear of messing up are REAL for teenage girls.
And seem to be a hot button issue right now.
Thankfully weâre back to in-person learning here in the US, though, like every new beginning, there are some residual pandemic issues that are still being ironed out.
One of the issues Iâm hearing a lot about from the teenage girls enrolled in my 90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Programis that even though theyâre surrounded by their peers, they are feeling socially disconnected and lonely.
So, I was curious to learn more.
Why, even though they are physically together again, and ready for new and deeper relationships, these girls are reporting:
a lack of confidence as to how to take the next step and often feel stifled by the fear and uncertainty their efforts wonât be reciprocatedWelcome back to the cultivating resilient teens podcast where you can find the full show notes and resources at cultivatingresilientteens.com.
Recap
Okay, letâs quickly recap todayâs key points.
If your daughter is like most teenage girls, she may be feeling socially disconnected and a bit lonely, even though sheâs back to in-person learning.
The most effective way to begin to build the deeper connection sheâs ready for, is to simply be aware of if sheâs bringing her past wounds into her present environment and try the 3-2-1 strategy so she can redirect, reconnect and redesign her relationships.
And, if seeing her struggle this triggering for you, simply recognize thatâs a natural response and try asking her what would be helpful in this situation.
Lastly, please, please, please remember that when you approach âall the thingsâ with the attitude that youâre here to learn, you canât do this wrong.
Itâs truly about learning and growing together.
Until next time, hereâs to cultivating a more resilient teen.
Podcast Resources:
90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program
cultivatingresilientteens.com
Ep â 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships Are Falling Apart
Ep â 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughterâs Confidence
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Hey parents,
Have you ever heard the saying ⊠âwhat you resist persistsâ?
I mean, could it really be true that, in your daughterâs attempt to push away all those unwanted things, she only attracts more unwanted things?
The father of analytical psychology, Carl Jung, suggests that in your attempt to âresistâ certain situations, by focusing on what you donât want, you actually cause those unwanted things to persist, or even grow.
Welcome back the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast where I want to invite you and your daughter to try a quick brain game with me.
You can close your eyes, or simply use your mindâs eye to visualize something you desire ⊠a giant scoop of ice cream, a beautiful sunset, or a fun event with friends.
Now, DONâT imagine a giant pink elephant.
Okay ⊠did a giant pink elephant just photo bomb your image?
This is just one small example of the power your daughter has over her mind.
And why two key concepts play a huge role in her ability to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of lifeâs adventures.
Find the complete show notes and the two key concepts on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.
Podcast Resources:
Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?
Ep â 37 How to Handle Your Daughterâs Toughest Social Challenge
90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program
Being Sensitive Can Be a Challenge ⊠This Strategy Set Me Free!
Episode #11 Help Your Daughter Stay Focused in a World Full of Distractions with a 3 Step Solution
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Hey parents,
I have a question for you ⊠what throws your teenage daughter off more - her big emotions OR the after-effects that follow her reaction to her big emotions?
Welcome back to the cultivating resilient teens podcast.
If youâre listening today, you probably recognize the value in understanding, and learning how to manage emotions capable of rocking your household and social circles.
So, todayâs episode is offering you a âWhat to do Whenâ Guide thatâs designed to help you and your daughter effectively handle the big emotions that stem from her toughest social challenges.
And hopefully this guide is applicable with some of the other tough stuff too.
Because with all the âgears in motionâ during the adolescent years, having tools that minimize the guilt and guesswork are golden.
(Remember, all the resources shared in the podcast, including the full show notes, can be found on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.)
Thank You
Before we get into the guide, I want to send a shout out to the parents who courageously shared their daughterâs toughest social challenges with me.
Even though your daughterâs experiences were not easy for her - or you - it felt good to see each of you find an approach that moved the needle in a positive, feel-good direction.
A Common Theme
Although each girlâs âtoughest social challengeâ story felt unique, there was an obvious theme.
When your daughter is lied to by friends she trusts and believes has her back - is clearly one of the hardest experiences to navigate for passionate, connection seeking teens.
And, Iâll be honest with you, I almost ditched this podcast idea.
Maybe you can relate, because if youâre like me, being lied to touches on a pretty tender place inside me that doesnât really enjoy, and certainly resists being poked at, if you know what I mean.
The Power of Self-Compassion
So, rather than spending time dissecting why teenage girls lie to one another; a conversation that I believe is most productive between coach and client in a safe, co-creative environment â I want to introduce you to the work of Dr. Kristin Neff because navigating, healing, and supporting those tender places inside your daughter needs a solid dose of self-compassion.
Find the Full Show Notes, including Your âWhat to do Whenâ Guide, visit my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.
Podcast Resources:
Wikipedia, Self-Compassion
Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power to Thrive | Kristin Neff, Ph.D.
Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?
90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program
https://thriveglobal.com/stories/how-to-raise-a-socially-intelligent-and-resilient-teenager/
Episode #6 3 Simple Steps to Quiet Your Daughterâs Inner Critic and Boost her Self-Confidence
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Hey parents,
Iâm interrupting the regularly scheduled podcast to bring up a concerning issue I experienced, the clients enrolled in my 90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program are talking about, and maybe itâs coming up for your daughter, too.
As weâre moving through the covid pandemic - a time that challenged us collectively and impacted each of us a little differently â there appears to be a heightened sense of awareness thatâs positive in some ways and a bit damaging, in others.
Whatâs Happening
As you know, most teenage girls already feel like theyâre over scrutinized and judged.
So, when your daughter feels a heightened sense of what other people may be thinking and saying, a chain reaction often occurs that looks something like âŠ
Overthinking or distorted thinking about comments / situationsSecond guessing herself and her role in the interactionsAnd unexplained fatigue or an overall lack of motivationI think we can all agree that now more than ever, your daughter needs and deserves to experience moments of joy and spontaneity to make up for all the missed opportunities.
And, I wanted to say, that the next episode will be part three of the deep dive into your daughterâs sense of self with the âWhat to do Whenâ Guide.
Because I think your shared experiences â thank you for trusting me with your personal stories - are definitely going to help other parents and teens realize theyâre not alone on this often-tumultuous journey.
Actually, the âWhat to do Whenâ Guide is morphing into a series of its own, so stay tuned as I break down the problems and solutions into smaller, more digestible pieces.
Todayâs Question
Okay, letâs get into todayâs question âŠ
how many times has your daughter replayed a past situation in her head and wondered what would have happened if she responded or reacted differently?
As I was reflecting on the situations my private coaching clients are experiencing, I wanted to invite you and your daughter to take a moment and assess what youâre feeling and observing too.
It seems the upside to the pandemic is that overall, people seem less tense and are more cordial.
But the pandemic also seems to have opened the door to increased scrutiny of others.
The intense feeling of being overly assessed by your peers or by strangers, usually doesnât feel good, and will certainly have an impact on your daughterâs sense of self and her social scenarios.
Tuning In
Personally speaking, as a parent and teen coach I really do my best to stay in tune with my thoughts and emotions and use effective tools and strategies to keep a clear mind so I can show up in the world in a way that feels good to me.
But because Iâm also a human, Iâm not immune to the tough emotions that get triggered when I feel like Iâm being judged or totally misunderstood.
And last week, I got a taste for what my clients have been talking about.
I think you'll enjoy hearing how my situation helped me understand, on a personal level, what my clients have been talking about.
Find the full Show Notes on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.Podcast Resources:
90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Hey parents,
How much do your daughterâs friendships influence HER attitude, mood and motivation?
As a parent and teen coach I hear a lot of stories about how other peopleâs actions and reactions seem to affect my clientâs well-being.
Of course, itâs natural for connection seeking teens to be influenced by their environment, especially their social scenarios.
The hard part is, humans, not just teenage girls, are naturally fickle.
So, if your daughter is always acting or reacting to whatâs happening in her external environment, in the moment, she may feel like sheâs constantly bouncing around like a ping pong ball ⊠up one minute, down the next.
And truth be told, even if her wild emotions give her a boost of energy, itâs not a healthy habit sheâll want to keep around.
Heads Up
Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast
This is the second podcast of a three-part series where weâre diving deeper into what it looks like to develop your daughterâs sense of self and how she can design social scenarios that align with who she truly is or who she desires to be.
Find the complete show notes, resources, and links to previous episodes on my website, cultivating resilient teens.com.
Before we get rolling today, I want to give you a little heads up that todayâs topic, if youâre listing with your daughter, may evoke an eye roll before a head nod, and hereâs why.
Most teenage girls have:
· beliefs
· hopes
· and expectations
that influence how they go about creating and keeping friendships.
Unfortunately, thereâs not a whole lot of information or conversation about how those beliefs, hopes and expectations come to fruition.
Though, theyâre often the result of their upbringing, environment, and past social experiences.
So hereâs the hard part, if your daughter isnât aware of what her beliefs, hopes and expectations are - and how they influence her relationships - sheâs going to bounce.
If sheâs getting the attention that meets her expectations, sheâll bounce up.
And when she doesnât get the reaction or response she wants, her mood will dip.
ME and WE
As you might imagine, relying on other people to moderate her mood and motivation level is exhausting, and will leave her feeling pretty powerless.
The good news is it doesnât have to be that way.
When your daughter is clear with her core friendship values, sheâll be able to establish a clear boundary between ME and WE.
3 Red Flags
In order to set clear boundaries, youâll want to be aware of a few situations, or red flags, that cause things to get messy.
You can read about the 3 Red Flags and the Simple Solution to Raising a Socially Resilient Teen on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.Keeping in Real
Like Iâve said before, ya all are what make this podcast REAL and meaningful.
Thank you for being here, for spending the time to build this community, for sharing this podcast with your friends, for trusting me to work with you and your daughter and for coming together so we can collectively empower teenage girls to build confidence integrity and resilience for all of lifeâs adventures.
I look forward to talking with you about âWhat to do When âŠ?â because when you have a guide to handle lifeâs toughest social challenges with grace and ease, youâll feel good about your responses and eliminate the guilt and guesswork.
Until next time my friends, know that Iâm thinking of you!
Podcast Resources:
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Hey parents,
I wanted to share a personal conversation I had with a dear friend Iâve known for over 30 years because she raised a great question thatâs relatable to anyone raising teens.My girlfriend and I met when we were in the thick of our teenage years and now, weâre both raising teens, so we naturally we found ourselves talking about all the social complexities teens experience, particularly when it comes to concept of defining your daughterâs ideal âtribe.â
Iâm so grateful my girlfriend brought up this issue because, honestly, as a new podcaster, itâs really easy to get caught up in what the experts say youâre supposed to do to have a successful podcast.
The Proverbial Box
Between you and I, Iâve never thrived when Iâve had to operate inside the âproverbialâ box.
And when it comes to defining a tribe that feels good to your daughter â that doesnât fit inside a box either.
Which may cause some confusion if sheâs comparing her interests to what she sees on her media platforms.
Because the larger and fancier the group photo, the more she may think ⊠huge tribe = happiness.
But deep down, we all know that what we think we need isnât always what we really need.
The Million Dollar Question
And thatâs why Iâd like to ask you ⊠how does YOUR daughter define her tribe?
Find the full Podcast Episode, including what you can do as parents, at cultivatingresilientteens.com
Lastly, one of the best parts of this podcast is YOU.
And our community is growing quickly.
Itâs super cool to see youâre listening across the globe because we all share this common trait â weâre stronger when we feel connected to one another.
So, if youâd take a moment and post one strategy youâve found helpful on the iTunes podcast app, that would be awesome.
Your interaction helps other parents, just like us, find the show.
Okay, thatâs all for today.
I look forward to connecting with you next time.
Podcast Resources:
Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?
Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Hey Parents, does your teenage daughter doubt herself or feel like thereâs something fundamentally wrong with her when things donât work out?
Itâs so easy to weave the âUgh, whatâs wrong with ME?â narrative into an emotionally triggering situation.
The Good News
The good news is, thereâs an effective way for your daughter to deactivate doubt, get stronger and feel more self-confident.
Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast where you can find the full show notes at cultivatingresilientteens.com.
Whatâs Really Going On?
So, as we move into the summer months, whether your daughter will be part of a
new clubcampteamOR is planning to be more of a free-range chicken and in charge of her daily activities, itâs worth taking the time to continue to learn about her developing sense of self and how to design healthy social scenarios.
Because, understanding how she sees herself, what she thinks about herself and how she talks to and about herself will give you the clues YOU NEED to empower her to build her confidence, integrity and resilience for all of lifeâs adventures.
The Figure it Out Formula
The secret in the secret formula is this â it takes you right to the heart of the matter.
And getting to the heart of the matter will help keep your daughter out of the weeds.
The Figure it Out Formula goes like this ⊠turn your left palm over so itâs facing upwards.
Find the 5 Steps to the complete show notes, including The Figure it Out Formula on my website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/podcast/
Podcast Resources:
Ep â 27 3 Insights Every Teenage Girl Needs to Ace Tricky Social Situations
Ep â 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughterâs Confidence
Ep 29 - A Bite-Sized Solution to Protect your Daughterâs Most Important Asset
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Hey Parents,
Does your teenage daughter have a plan to stay confident and mentally clear when sheâs emotionally triggered?
After making a very long list on a giant piece of paper, the teenage girls in my social media group just sat back with that deer-in-headlights look.
I think they were more stunned than I was at the list theyâd created.
The task was to identify all the all the âpartsâ of social media they deal with on a daily basis.
What confuses them.
What makes them feel bad.
And, whatâs fun, too.
We definitely didnât want to forget about the fun stuff, because being able to instantly connect with your friends can be great.
And seeing each other on the map is pretty cool, too.
Well, except when itâs not.
Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast.
Having a Plan
Where today weâre going to offer your daughter a 3 Step Road Map to navigate the ups and downs of her media relationships so she can keep a strong sense of self and continue to design healthy social scenarios.
Because as parents, you know, itâs a rough ride for everyone when your daughter:
· discovers her tribe has assembled without her
· or someone sheâs reached out to is active but not responding
We obviously didnât have these devices when you and I were teens.
Though, that deep gut punching feeling you get when youâve been betrayed by someone in your tribe hasnât changed.
And having the ability to manage all those big emotions doesnât just magically happen.
So, letâs give your daughter a step-by-step plan so she can interact on her social platforms while maintaining a strong sense of self and designing healthy social scenarios.
Please take the time to share the 3 Step Road Map with your daughter, you'll be glad you did.
Find the 3 Steps and the full Show Notes on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.comPodcast Resources:
Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?
Episode #18 2 Key Elements Your Daughter Needs to Design Healthy Social Scenarios
Quote from Oprah âYou get in life what you have the courage to ask for.â
90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Hey Parents,
Have you ever asked your daughter how sheâs doing and heard something like ⊠âitâs complicatedâ or âyou wonât understand!â
As youâre working through the âletting goâ and âlosing controlâ part of raising a teenager (two of the toughest parts if you ask me), getting a non-answer when youâre trying to connect is tough because:
it feels like it widens the divideand pulls heavily on your heartstringsAs a parent of teens, I get it.
Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast, itâs an honor to spend this time with you.
If youâre feeling like you havenât quite found a solution to how to empower your daughter to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of lifeâs adventures, this episode is for you.
And hopefully itâll make it easier for you and your daughter to learn and grow together, too.
Signature System
After years of working with teens and their families, I think youâll see that the 4 Steps to Cultivating a Resilient Teen:
Developing a strong sense of selfCreating meaningful educational experiencesDesigning healthy social scenariosFostering a connective family lifeNot only offer your daughter the tools she needs to step into her personal power, recognize when to lead and when to follow, and mitigate the negative effects of social media.
They also help you learn how to navigate these teen rites of passage.
If youâre not familiar with my signature system, the 4 Steps to Cultivating a Resilient Teen, youâll find more information and the full show notes for this podcast on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com.
Whatâs Happening
Okay, hereâs the downlow on ⊠âitâs complicatedâ or âyou wonât understand.â
The likelihood that these statements are true, is pretty high.
Itâs less about trying to drive you crazy or push you away, and more about your daughter feeling overwhelmed and confused herself.
And as a caring, resourceful and hardworking parent, you likely encourage your daughter to be a critical thinker in order to solve her problems.
Critical thinking is an essential life skill.
But sometimes relationships are messy, and miscommunications happen - and thereâs not a clear answer or approach.
You may even see the wheels turning as your daughter attempts to figure out or fix her situation.
And recognize that she's caught in a negative thought loop, which, as you know, isnât helpful.
If youâre not familiar with how negative thought loops influence your daughterâs mood and motivation, you may want to familiarize yourself with the top 6 thinking errors in Ep â 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughterâs Confidence.
It's a Dance
So here you are, trying to connect with and support your daughter, but youâre not sure whether to step in or step back â a bit of a dance.
Find out if a growth mindset will make life easier for your daughter, as well as, learn how to dance with agility and grace. Get the complete show notes on my website, Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast.
Podcast ResourcesLifeâs Random Bits | Parenting is Like Dancing | 9.7.2017
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success | Carol Dweck
5 Keys to the Right Mindset for Growth and Success | Bob Choat | 7.3.2015
Episode #2 How to Rais
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Hey Parents,
Is your teenage daughter âfreaking outâ about whatâs next?
Youâre probably noticing that spring fever is in the air, which undoubtedly signals one thing - transitions are on the horizon.
Whether itâs her transition into middle school, high school, college or beyond, youâre likely seeing any number of behavioral changes in your daughter.Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens podcast, where you can always find the full Show Notes and resources for every podcast episode at cultivatingresilientteens.com
The Problem
Although weâre being kinda playful about your daughter âfreaking outâ about whatâs next, we know youâve been through some tough times, and that stress and anxiety are at an all-time high for teenagers.
According to Dr. Sarah McKay, Author of The Womenâsâ Brain Book: The Neuroscience of Health, Hormones and Happiness, âWe all respond to stress in a variety of ways, and whether an event is a âstressorâ varies from person to person.â And Dr. McKay goes on to say that âWe feel stressed when real or imagined pressures exceed or perceived ability to cope.â
Everything You Need
So, today weâre offering a simple Formula that will boost your daughterâs resilience by giving her what she needs to make calm, logical and confident decisions about her future.
If youâve been listening for a while, youâve heard us lovingly nudge your daughter to devote some quality time to developing a strong sense of self.
Because, as parents, you know that a strong sense of self will likely:
- steer your daughter away from âiffyâ or âriskyâ social situations
- help her avoid iceberg beliefsthat can sabotage relationship
- and help her create a path that promotes personal growthOkay, now ⊠letâs imagine for a minute, that your daughter wakes up every morning READY for whatever comes her way - would it be worth it?
Everyone wants to bounce back from lifeâs challenges and detours, and we bet your daughter feels that way, too.
And, if youâre familiar with the saying that âworrying is like a rocking chair: it will give you something to do but you wonât get you anywhere.â
Simple A-B-C Formula
Youâll see that the three critical actions in the A-B-C Formula enable your daughter make calm, logical and confident decisions about her future â truly, the best way for her to bounce back!
Itâs easier than you may think so head over to my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com and get the three critical actions - and cultivate a more resilient teenager.
Podcast Resources:
Dr. Sara McKay |The Womenâsâ Brain Book: The Neuroscience of Health, Hormones and Happiness
Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?
Ep â 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughterâs Confidence
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Hey Parents, Whatâs your daughter most important asset?
Welcome back the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast.
Today weâre diving in a little deeper to an issue we touched on in last weekâs podcast, Ep â 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughterâs Confidence.
Because, interestingly, even though your daughter may think sheâs the only feeling one insecure or being left out, I promise you that no one is immune to those tricky thought errors we talked about last week.
Thought Error #5
Especially Thought Error #5, using âlabelsâ to classify herself or others, can really be detrimental to your daughterâs growth.
So, today weâre offering a bite-sized solution to protect your daughterâs most important asset â her sense of self.
As weâve talked about in previous episodes, developing a strong sense of self is one of the most important ways to empower your teenage daughter to build confidence, integrity and resilience for all of her adventures in life.
Think About it This Way
Because when you think about it, every single thing she says and does â her attitude, her happiness, her motivation, her relationships, her success â all revolve around how your daughter:
sees herselfwhat she thinks about herselfand how she talks TO and ABOUT herselfSo, building a solid personal foundation, or a strong sense of self, will enable her to understand critical thought habits and patterns.
4 Steps to Cultivating a Resilient Teen
And right now, your daughterâs life is primarily influenced by, what I refer to as, the 4 Steps to Cultivating a Resilient Teen:
her sense of selfhow meaningful her educational experiences arethe nature of your parent / daughter connectionAnd her social network â the people she surrounds herselfSo, if your daughterâs life experiences and the people sheâs around are throwing around labels, to classify her, or others, itâs going to influence how she sees herself and talks to and about herself.
Due to the negative emotions âlabelingâ brings up, weâre focusing instead on how to equip your daughter with the GRIT and GUMPTION she needs to win this war-on-words.
The Heart of the Matter
So, letâs get to the heart of the matter with two thoughtful questions ...
Find the complete Show Notes on my website, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/podcast/
Podcast ResourcesEp â 28 How to Break Free from Thinking Errors that Wreck Your Daughterâs Confidence
Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?
90 Minutes to Clarity and Strategies that Work
90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Hey parents,
Is your teenage daughter a hard worker who gets frustrated and feels defeated when things donât go her way?
If mind management sounds like some type of voo-doo, though you see your daughter repeating the same behaviors over and over, but expects a different result, this podcast is for her.
Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast where you can find the full show notes on my website, cultivatingresilientteens.com
Todayâs episode is inspired by an incredibly ambitious, bright, and determined past client who knew exactly what she wanted.
But there was just one âkey elementâ missing.
And no matter how hard she tried, she continued to find herself back where she started.
But letâs not be too hard on her because the key element that kept her stuck isnât a core competency you learn in school.
And standardized testing dismisses it, too.
However, this element definitely has an impact on your daughterâs performance.
So today weâre going to introduce the 6 most common thinking errors that may wreck your daughterâs confidence.
And, how to break free with 2 Strategies that work.
Letâs start with the 6 thinking errors the teenage girls in my private coaching practice say are the hardest to handle.
1.) Believing itâs always âAll or Nothingâ
All or nothing sounds like:
Iâm never the one who gets picked to lead the project
2.) âCatastrophizingâ her situations
Catastrophizing sounds like:
This is so stressful because if I donât say the right thing, everyoneâs going to think Iâm weird
3.) âShouldingâ all over herself
Shoulding sounds like:
I should eat lunch with those girls because if I donât, theyâll think Iâm rude
Get information about the additional thought errors that wreck your daughter's confidence and 2 Strategies that Work on my website Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast
Because if you take anything away from our conversation today, itâs that developing strong sense of self is one of the greatest gifts your daughter can give herself.
And developing a strong sense of self begins with observing your thinking habits and patterns and the effect they have on your behavior, choices, relationships and mood.
Podcast Resources: Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast
90 Days to a More Resilient Teen Coaching Program
Ep â 24 How to Help Your Teenage Daughter Develop What Really Matters
Episode #16 Does Your Teenage Daughter Need a Strong Sense of Self to be Successful in Life?
The Teenage Brain and COVID. Telling Stories Might Help | Dr. Sarah Mckay | March 25, 2021
Here's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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Hey Parents,
Does your teenage daughter feel like she has to choose between being liked or being respected?
Welcome back to the Cultivating Resilient Teens Podcast where weâre going to offer a âShort, Sweet and Spot Onâ episode, as listener Me and Xoxo, shared in a recent iTunes podcast review.
Thank you, Me and Xoxo, for taking the time to share your thoughts and for being part of the Cultivating Resilient Teens community!
Okay, letâs get to it, because I want to clear up the myth that your daughter has to choose between being liked or respected.
One of my clients shared that a âWho are You?â style check list has been going around social media.
The list had multiple boxes where you check off things youâve done or that apply to you personally.
And although it didnât seem like that big of a deal at first, my client not only felt like she was pigeon-holing herself into a misconstrued persona, but there was a whole lot of judgment coming out of this seemingly harmless activity.
My client understood that she had the choice to participate or pass, but she said the social pressure felt really intense.
And one of her friends teased her by saying ⊠âJust fill it out, I mean, what do you have to hide?
Ah, Iâm here to tell you, these tricky social situations arenât easy to navigate for teenage girls.
What You Can Do Instead
As we talked about in last weekâs podcast Ep â 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships Are Falling Apart
Your daughterâs style of communication matters:
· how she talks to and about herself · and how she talks to and about her friendsAnd, if your daughterâs put in a situation where she feels pressured to share personal information that that seems intrusive and downright uncomfortable, we want to equip her with the tools thatâll help her stay confident, in her integrity, and strengthen her resilience.
3 Insights to Ace Tricky Social Situations
In order to prevent or de-escalate the drama that comes from tricky social situations, weâre going to share 3 Insights that will help your daughter tap into her personal power.
Because even though the âWhat do you have to hide?â situation seemed playful, my client didnât want to pigeonhole herself into a certain persona or share information she considered personal.
Feeling liked and respected is an inside job. Learning to say what you mean and mean what you say in a clear, respectful and assertive manner will keep your daughter out of unnecessary drama.Who your daughter wants to be, desires to become, and what she wants to share with the world is her choice, period.Yes, learning how to design healthy social scenarios is perhaps one of the most important rites-of-passage your daughter will encounter over the next few years.
So, equipping her with effective navigation skills are worth her time and effort.
Full Show Notes and Podcast Resources can be found at, https://cultivatingresilientteens.com/
Ep â 26 How to Support Your Daughter When Her Friendships Are Falling Apart
How to Raise a Socially Intelligent and Resilient Teenager 5 Simple Questions That Will Set Your Teenager Up for SuccessHere's to cultivating a more resilient teen for all of life's adventures!
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