Energetic Perspectives Series: How to recognize and clear out the subtle forces that are holding you back from the momentum, and fulfillment that was meant for you.

31 Mai 2022 · Field Guide To Awesome

00:38:52

🔥 First up will be Level 1: Victim energy and "I Lose".

How to recognize and clear out the subtle forces that are holding you back from the momentum, and fulfillment that was meant for you.

🔥 No one likes to be a victim. Nor do they like to feel or think of themselves as one. Even if life and biz are mostly great, you likely have subtle influences of this energy that prevent you from accessing opportunities that are right in front of you.

🔥 I'll be talking about how this "victim" energy, also known as Level 1 Perspective may show up for you, how to recognize it, how to stop being at the effect of it and break the cycle - so you can clear out the subtle forces that are holding you back from the momentum, and fulfillment that was meant for you.

Listen in to hear about this 1st energetic perspective:

How it feelswhat it looks like if you are stuck thereor are subtly affected by it (this is the tricky one) (minor head injury example)It isn't an all or nothing stateIt isn't always obviousIt's not good, nor bad (a place of hiding and a place of rest)it has both disadvantages AND advantagesStrategies (disruption & fiery passion) to get out of it and access the higher level energetic perspectives that will bring you where you want to go faster and more enjoyably.And so much more!

Remember: It's not what you say or do, but your intention behind it that matters

*****

If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:

At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success

Book a call with me.

We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.

If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.

If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina

*********

Would you like to be interviewed on the Field Guide To Awesome Podcast?

Are you a Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?

If so, I'd love to interview you!

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TRANSCRIPT

87 - Energetic Perspectives Series: How to recognize and clear out the subtle forces that are holding you back from the momentum, and fulfillment that was meant for you.

[00:00:00]

[00:00:55] Trina: Welcome back to the field guide to awesome folks. Last week I spoke [00:01:00] about the seven different perspectives of lying that we all experience at some point or another. including How we recognize them in ourselves. And the worst type of lie that we need to recognize as soon as possible and stop it before it causes any more damage.

So if you missed it, go back and check it out.

But don't go yet, folks.

This week we are. Diving in to the energetic perspective series.

Each episode in the series will be focused on one aspect of the seven levels of perspective. Why is this important? You were about to find out this is going to be awesome.

Well, this first level is not so awesome. But we need to recognize. Figure out what it looks like, [00:02:00] and I'm going to also be sharing with you some strategies on how to get past it. All right. My name is Trina and I am a success and self-mastery coach. And today we are going to be talking about level one, victim energy, and the perspective of "I lose". What a fun way to start an episode. Right. No one likes to be a victim, nor do they like to feel or think of themselves as one. I know I don't. I know you don't - being a victim Isn't fun. Right? So who is this for? This is for you because there are times in your life when you will experience some of what I talk about here.

All right. [00:03:00] So have you ever been stuck in a pattern where you felt like you had no choice or stuck in a situation where. Well, maybe not you, maybe you don't recognize it as being stuck, but where you're doing mostly well or heck doing fantastic. Right? You still have some work to do. All right. Because serial success makers who are mostly working in their know and flow.

But still know that there's something more for them. All right. They can struggle to integrate this into their lives or those of you who are working towards something that seems to take a step back for every step forward you take. All right. It's like the goalpost is moving and Hey, even if you know exactly what you [00:04:00] need to do, but it's either not catching on or it's exhausting.

It's exhausting. You all out of proportion to the perceived tax. All right. You likely have the subtle influences of this energy that prevent you from accessing opportunities that are right in front of you. I swear. These opportunities are right in front of you. You just can't see them yet. Okay. And Hey human.

Yeah. You, you have experienced this kind of low energetic state that I'm talking about, even if it's a small. All right. And we're going to talk really briefly, a little later on today about how even like a small bit of this energy can pull you out of alignment and the hide major growth from you. Okay.

And so. I'm going to be talking about this victim energy, as well as it's also known as level [00:05:00] one perspective, how it will show up for you, how to recognize it and how to stop being at the effect of it. And break the cycle. So you can clear out the subtle forces that are holding you back from the momentum, the fulfillment, and happiness, that was meant for you. All right. So some things to keep in mind that it's not an all or nothing state, you could be regularly operating a successful business, building strong, compassionate relationships, leading like a boss and still into intuitively innovating solutions. But even a little bit of this energy's perspective can limit the health, happiness, wealth, and fulfillment that is possible for you.

And this perspective, isn't always obvious. If you're really stuck in it, it is pretty obvious. But if it's just a little bit in your energy and it's just a little [00:06:00] bit in there, it's easy to miss it and put the onus on something else. So for example, it's easy to look at a person or a situation that's vexing you and putting the onus on them.

If only the situation was different or the person was different. Life would be easier, right. This, there wouldn't be a problem. All right. So I'll be sharing some of the things that might be subtle influences that are pulling you out of alignment. And again, what I'm going to share with you

in this episode, at least these are things that aren't fun to look at. But I want you to keep in mind that none of them are good or bad. They all have advantages and disadvantages. All right. It's all in the perspective of how you look at them. And I'm [00:07:00] also not talking about blowing sunshine up your butt or guests, you, or gaslighting yourself because there are legitimate benefits to some of these.

I mean, we wouldn't do anything if it didn't benefit us in some way, even if it's not in the. That we desire to go. All right. It's serving us in some way also. Remember, it's not what you say or do, but it's your intention behind what you say or do that matters. Okay. Okay. So before we jump into the icy dark depths of level, one perspective, let's talk a little bit about what energy leadership.

Okay. Energy leadership was developed by Bruce D. Schneider. He's a renowned coach and founder of my Alma mater IPEC Institute for professional excellence in coaching and Luke Iorio who's the president [00:08:00] of iPEC described energy leadership like this. All right. As individuals, we view the world through filters based on our experiences, our values, our assumptions, and our perspectives.

And those filters will either limit what we see, like tunnel vision or expand what we see, oh, like a prison. And all of that together will impact how we perceive and what we think about our circumstances. Whatever those circumstances are. And this in turn impacts how we show up in different situations.

Okay. So the energy leadership index assessment, there's also an assessment by the way. So as I go through this, you can recognize, or not things that you experienced in your life and in your business. But there is an actual assessment that you can go through and be debriefed by a master practitioner.

like moi. All right. That will [00:09:00] help reveal what specific filters you've developed and how those filters are influencing the results that you're achieving. Okay. But you don't need the assessment to go through and do a self-assessment. All right. So that's what I'm giving you here. This is a process, that helps you develop a personally effective style of leadership that positively influences and changes. Not only yourself. But also those with whom you work, , you live with, people around you. Okay. And also your company, your business as a whole. And this is a research-backed system and it's utilized by companies like Boeing, Ikea, the us coast guard, as well as thousands of individuals and everyday leaders from all walks of life.

Okay, so this kind of energy leadership puts you in touch with the missing link between your ambitions and your ability to achieve them. I'm about to talk [00:10:00] about some uncomfortable things. So brace yourself. All right. If any of the things that I talk about start to feel like they're triggering you.

Give yourself some great. Give yourself some space and a great big self-hug. All right. It's going to be okay. And remember your focus is your energetic makeup. All right. That we're just looking at your energy right now, or you're looking at your energy. And so some things will resonate with you more than others.

Okay. And so I invite you to disregard the things that don't resonate at all with you at no point. As I talk about this, am I saying that you have this, although you likely have at some point in yours. Okay. So you might be able to remember back to a time when you've experienced some of these things, but I'm not finger-pointing and saying that you have this, but that these [00:11:00] are the qualities and characteristics that are common in this level. One perspective type of energy. Okay. So disregard the things that don't resonate and take note of the things that do. Okay. So this level of energy is catabolic. Ooh. I just threw out a big word. Catabolic energy is energy that breaks you down. All right. It's the process that the body uses to generate energy, to counteract a stressor.

All right. And the body will find available energy within you. All right. That's stored within you and pulls it to generate the action or the energy that you. Okay. They'll pull that stored energy from some other place in your life. All right. So a person who is at the effect of level one is under stress [00:12:00] and catabolic energy is most easily seen in our stress response.

So when we're experiencing. These are likely some of the experiences that we may have now noticed we're not always under stress. All right. And so we might not see them, but when you are under stress, these are more apparent. So if a person has any energy in this level, they are a victim of, or when I use the word victim, I mean, at the effect of like, oh, it's happening to me.

Alright of certain events, thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and perceptions that hold them back from success. And so again, when I use the word victim, I'm talking about someone who is at the effect of something. So emotionally a level one feels bad. All right. It feels bad. And the amount of [00:13:00] desire, engagement, and action for life or specific aspects of it is very, very low accordingly level one energy.

It may show up as avoiding certain situations or difficult issues, not taking action and then avoiding making decisions now. If you're an entrepreneur, you know how damaging it can be if you're not, if you're avoiding things because you are afraid of them. If you're not taking action for some reason. All right.

What ha have you ever experienced a time in your life or your business where you were afraid to take an action or you didn't make a decision and then. It was too late to make a decision and you suffered some kind of consequence. All right. So oftentimes making a decision in business, it's it behooves an [00:14:00] entrepreneur, a CEO, a leader to make a decision fast, get the results fast because then you can make a different decision.

All right. It's not failing. All right, you get results, you get feedback. And so you make a decision. You get a fast result, you make another decision. at this level of energy, The stress about making those decisions. It results from a feeling of helplessness. I'm helpless to make a difference in any given situation or circumstance.

It may show up also as a feeling of powerlessness, often feeling that things are just happening, all right to them, and they don't have any control over the situation. It's a feeling of lack of control. Someone at this level might feel tired all of the [00:15:00] time. They might feel stuck and held back from success.

Like something is holding them back from the success that they, they see that they want. Okay. They may feel stuck, blocked, and unable to move forward. You see the next step, but you just can't make yourself take that next. in the safety, security, and anonymity, I didn't say that word right. Of your own home or raise your hand if you've ever felt that way, like stuck, blocked, unable to move forward even though you know, the exact next step.

All right. So even if you're just listening to my voice, I am raising my hand. I have felt this. Okay. Everybody has. It's not that you're not aware of what the next step is. You can't make yourself do it. An example of this is doing lives. All right. You [00:16:00] know, you need to do a live, you know, you have amazing things to say, but you can't push that live button.

You just can't make yourself push it. All right. So that's an example of that. Let's see, they might experience circular thinking. They get lost in thoughts, but they don't move, but the thoughts don't move them forward. And it's another word for rumination. They feel trapped by external circumstances.

It's something external to them that is holding them back. All right. There's not enough money. I in a remote location, people aren't close enough. I don't know who to ask for. All right. So external circumstances and something external to them that is holding them back, they might feel guilt for things that they've done or not done.

Right. Who's never felt guilt. I better not imagine seeing any hands go up. Okay. So, you know, guilt [00:17:00] can happen for things that you do or things that you've not done. Let's see, fear of failure and fear of success. I used to think that I never had the fear of success, but it's not true. When you think about building a business, when you think about bringing in a massive income, that feels great.

When you think about serving clients and serving a massive amount of clients, that feels great, but then there's also the subtle and sometimes unconscious fear of like, how do you need to show up differently to serve those clients? What systems do you need to have in place? To serve those clients.

You know, what is your money story? Like, you know, what does money mean to you? Right. So the fear of success comes up too. Oh, the fear of trying. Why bother [00:18:00] when nothing changed? And that may be the evidence up to a certain point, right? Why nothing I do about this particular situation ever changes.

So I just got to suck it up buttercup. Right? This is what it is. All right. So there's a couple of different ways of thinking about it is what it is. But when it comes to the perspective of why bother when nothing changes and the emotion behind it is one of defeat and giving up, all right. That's where that energy and under that phrase comes from.

Okay. And overwhelm a person at this level of energy might be feeling some overwhelm. All right. And have difficulty focusing. All right. And [00:19:00] what that might look like is having a really big project due, but having no ability to focus on it until they do a totally unrelated task, how many people has had, have had some kind of big thing that they needed to do, they couldn't make themselves doing it.

And all of a sudden they find themselves cleaning, washing dishes, doing laundry. All right. That's me when I'm in this level one, if I find myself doing household chores, I know I am avoiding something. And also procrastination now procrastination is not laziness. And in fact, I think I compare or combine procrastination with self-worth theory and perfection.

Okay. So, procrastination shows up here a feeling of lack of choice and options. And that brings us to [00:20:00] lack mindset, not enough of anything, especially time and money to go around. And again, we talked about this a little bit before, but avoidance of difficult issues, difficulty making decisions.

So, and also no, or low productivity. Right. And this might look like being busy all the time, but at the end of the day, you found out that you were so busy thinking about all of the things and doing menial and various tasks, nothing was actually accomplished. All right. This is kind of common. All right.

Feeling helpless to make a difference feeling like you're losing at life and business.

And avoiding confrontations. This means looks like having avoiding, having difficult conversations with team members with vendors or with clients or with family members. Okay. Avoiding those confrontations, avoiding having those [00:21:00] difficult conversations and avoiding embarrassment because oftentimes embarrassment feels like that.

It feels like death. All right. This is a big one because the embarrassment that I'm talking about is the embarrassment that is prolonged. It's prolonged by continuous thinking about it, I'm thinking about what embarrassed the person, but they can't escape it because they keep reminding themselves about it.

So if something embarrassing happened, think yes, that was embarrassing. But now. I stopped thinking about it. I'm going to think about something else. I know. I know easy to say, hard to do. We're going to get to that in just a couple of minutes. All right. Just a couple more things at this level, a person in level one in the victim perspective, they feel unappreciated undervalued.

All right. And the thing is, [00:22:00] it's not other people who are undervaluing them, they are undervaluing themselves. Right. And they're just trying to get through the day and they're lonely in a crowded room. You could be surrounded by awesome people, but feel lonely, feel like you're alone and invisible and misunderstood.

And sometimes at this level, a person is lacking. Or they've forgotten their purpose, man. Okay. Oh, that was rough. If you are still with me through that slog of level one, how kudos pat yourself on the back, give yourself a great big hug. Okay. Being in level one is not fun Even though the list we went through might have shown you some of the things that we don't like to recognize in ourselves.

I want to remind you that no level of energy is inherently good or bad, all [00:23:00] have advantages and disadvantages, and now we're going to get to what those are. Well, the disadvantages are pretty apparent, pretty apparent right here. But the advantages for level one center. And this is a really abbreviated list.

And I'll get to the why in just a moment, level one energy, the advantages are, it allows people to protect themselves from harm. All right. You don't try or do anything because you, you protecting yourself from failing. They can receive attention and sympathy from others. If you've been on social media for any amount of time, I am sure you've seen some posts that seem as if they are trying to elicit attention and sympathy from others.

. The advantage for a person who is experiencing this level is they don't have to assume responsibility of any negative life events. It wasn't my fault. It was something [00:24:00] outside that did it, right. It's not my fault. And in regards to the disadvantages again, they are pretty apparent.

None of what I talked about earlier in this episode has feels any kind of good, but for a person with a lot of level, one energy, they have little to no engagement in roles and tasks. When we talk about being in business and working, doing work, there's no engagement. All right. There's no ownership of tasks.

They encounter great difficulty effecting change, creating change, and improving life circumstances because the why change, why change? Just the nothing I do will make a difference. So why try? And they lack the ability to lead themselves and others. So, no matter what [00:25:00] you are a leader, you're a leader, no matter what you do or how you act, all right, people will see what you do and how you act.

And, you know, even if you're just leading yourself, Okay, but you're not going to effectively lead yourself. You're not going to effectively lead your team or your clients in that way.

All right. Take a deep breath. We're going to get to better things now. Okay. So now we're going to talk about the strategies to shift to a higher level of energy. Ready. Okay. . Being a level one, does suck. All right. It is rough, but the good news is you have strategies you can use to pull yourself out [00:26:00] of level one and into higher levels of energy.

Okay. And so those are, this one is going to sound a little trite, but bear with me, focus on the present and let go of the past. I know, so easy to say hard to do, but recognizing that just because the past was a certain way, you can choose to think, believe, feel, and act differently in the future.

So just recognize it or write it on a sticky note, slap it up on someplace where you're going to see it. Okay. Because of this takes work to integrate. All right. Focus on the present what's happening right now. What's happening in this present? One of the things that I take my clients through is grounding, centering somatic exercises.

Close your eyes? What do you taste? What does the inside of your mouth [00:27:00] tastes like? Do you need to brush your teeth? Does it taste like your tea? Does it taste like your coffee?. All right. Does it still tastes like lunch or does it taste clean? All right. What do you smell? What does your head feel like? What are your shoulders feel like?

What are the clothes feel like on your body right now? Can you feel your butt in your seat? Can you feel your feet on the floor? All right. Focus on the present. Become deeply present. All right, the next one, focus on what is in your immediate control and take immediate action, even if it's a tiny, tiny, small step forward.

All right. What is in your immediate control? You know, maybe it is, you can brush your teeth, but maybe it is you can stand [00:28:00] up, change your physical state. Changing your physical state is a huge, huge strategy. All right. Maybe it is in your immediate control. I can take a deep breath.

All right. What is in your immediate control and take immediate action. What is the next step you can do within the next five seconds? That will take five minutes or less. All right. And do that step, no matter how tiny it is, find ways to fill your well and put on your oxygen mask. All right. Make sure you put your oxygen mask on first.

And so this can look again I'm sure you've heard these suggestions. All right. And I'm not just regurgitating them. These will legitimately change your physical state. All right. Getting six to eight hours of sleep, [00:29:00] eating healthy, bringing more physical movement into your daily life, and making meditation or prayer. If that's your thing, part of your daily routine and exploring interests, hobbies, and clubs. All right. Evaluate your current relationships and explore new friendships. All right. Spend time with those who lift you up and set boundaries with those who bring you down boundaries. Are there things that one needs to respect for themselves?

It doesn't matter what anybody else does. My boundary is my boundary. If somebody else crosses it or impinges upon it, I get to decide what I no longer tolerate. Okay. And so when we talk about spending more time with those that lift you up and setting boundaries with those that bring you down, this isn't about ending relationships, unless [00:30:00] that feels right to you.

This is about making a conscious decision about who you spend time. Realizing this isn't a judgment on the other person. It's focusing on how you feel when you are around them. So if you're around somebody who always brings you down or who, you know, is like a psychic vampire, you can decide not to spend time around them and you don't have to give a reason.

You can tell them the truth that I'm choosing to do this right now. You know, I value your friendship, but this is where I need to be right now, journal and create lists. All right. And that might look like doing daily gratitudes. I have very good friends who I see all the time putting up their daily gratitudes and you can do it publicly, or you can do it privately.

All right. Make lists about simple things, profound things about yourself and others list your skills and your [00:31:00] accomplishments to date. All right. Be as objective as you can, especially when you're talking about your skills and accomplishments. It's so easy to to forget about past accomplishments and discount skills that you've already achieved and built up because if you could do it, everybody else can, and that's not true. All right. Ask someone you trust for help. All right. Don't just ask for help blindly, because you're going to get a whole bunch of advice that you do not want. So find someone that you trust and ask for help.

All right. And again, I want to go back to goals and accomplishments because there are some people who, once they accomplish things or they get really good at something, they take it for granted [00:32:00] and they tend to discount it as something that everyone else can do. And really that is not the case at all.

All right. And another list is identifying the I'm not good enough thoughts. All right. Identify your inner critic. Pay attention to when you find yourself thinking things like I'm not good, I'm not smart or talented or skilled enough. Just make a note. All right, who am I to do this?

And challenge those thoughts. Don't just take it as fact, who am I to do this? Who am I to do this? It's like, who am I to do this? I'm the only one to do this. I'm the best one to do this. I'm the one to do this because, okay. And perhaps the hardest part of getting out of level one, is because I just talked about a whole bunch of [00:33:00] strategies, which are super awesome.

Okay. But one of the biggest challenges of getting out of the level one perspective is being stuck in a pattern of inertia. All right. And if that's the case, it's time for a disruption creating some kind of fire underneath your butt. And when, when someone is stuck at this level of this perspective, it can feel like you're caught in a cycle.

Like you can't get out. Awareness of the pattern is great. Being aware of it is great and it provides choices, but you can't stop there. Okay. You can't stop with just awareness awareness paired with inaction equals self torture. All right. So don't do that to yourself.. Practicing disrupting this level one state will increase your capacity to access the higher levels of energy things.

Get better things, get funner, things, get [00:34:00] more compassionate things, get more powerful things. Get more intuitive. All right. So that means you need to continually choose to disrupt any level. One pattern you see in yourself, light, a fire, whether it's under your butt or in your soul, what's pissing you off about the situation or how you're feeling or what the situation is.

What do you no longer have availability for. What are you done with what is on your not to do list now, right? What's the line in the sand, the final straw that will goose you into moving into action, light that fire. Initially it may even feel like anger and force. All right. And that may feel uncomfortable at first.[00:35:00]

I may feel uncomfortable in a different way from the discomfort that you're experiencing now, but it will get you out of the swampy mire and into the action that characterizes a level, two perspective energy. Okay. And we're going to talk about that in the next episode. Remember, everyone's energetic profile is normal for them.

And yours is normal for you to, okay. What you're going through is normal. It may not be fun. It may not feel good, but you do have strategies now to get yourself out and remember, you don't need to do this alone. If you want help or you want to explore what that might look like, reach out to me and book a call.

All right. And it will be a no strings attached call. We will just have a conversation. [00:36:00] All right. And see where it goes from there. And inevitably you will leave with personalized strategies that will help you move out of this level one and access. What is possible for. Right. So have a wonderful day and I will talk to you later.

[00:36:20] Outro

[00:36:20] Trina: next week, the energetic perspective series continues with level two. This is where movement starts to happen in a forceful and fiery energy. With the perspective of I win. Entrepreneurial leaders can be successful in this energy. But it's not sustainable. We are going to talk about how level two shows up and how to turn this conflagration of force conflict and "my way, or the highway" intentionality into the fiery passion that gets your momentum going. It's going to be a fantastic episode folks so tune in next week you won't want to miss it[00:37:00]

[00:38:00]

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How to find your resourceful state when you are feeling you should be further along by now (Level 3 Perspective)
28 Jun 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
🔥 This is for you if you are feeling you should be further along than you are by now.
🔥 Life starts to feel good when you notice you are starting to make progress. Whether that’s in your career or business, and your daily life. Things feel like they are starting to flow a bit more.
🔥 But there’s still a bit of strategizing, tolerating and dealing with minor frustrations that hold you back from making the kind of progress that feels deeply satisfying. It feels like you should be further along by now. That can be frustrating, and feel like you are treading water, and consistently hitting your upper limit without breaking through.
🔥 That’s why we are talking about what the level 3 perspective looks and feels like in every-day life, the advantages and disadvantages, as well as some strategies that can help you expand into higher levels of energy, and using level 3 as a resourceful state to keep your momentum going.
Listen in to hear about how Level 3:
Shows up in life and bizHow being stuck here holds you back from both the success you've been working towards and overall life fulfillment.Strategies to turn this state from one of frustration and toleration into a resourceful state so you can access the higher level energetic perspectives that will bring you where you want to go faster and more enjoyably.and so much more!

*****
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
*********
Would you like to be interviewed on the Field Guide To Awesome Podcast?
Are you a Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?
If so, I'd love to interview you!
Apply to be interviewed here on The Field Guide To Awesome podcast:
https://bit.ly/fg2aguestapplication
You can find me on social media:
Facebook Group: The Field Guide To Awesome Podcast Tribe
www.facebook.com/groups/thefieldguidetoawesomepodcasttribe/
The Field Guide To Awesome: Your Energetic Path To Flow free FB group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/fieldguidetoawesome

89 - How to find your resourceful state when you are feeling you should be further along by now - Level 3 Energetic Perspective
[00:00:00]
[00:00:00] Trina: welcome back to the field guide to awesome folks.[00:01:00] The last episode, number 88. Was where we continued the energetic perspective series with the level two perspective, specifically how to recognize when your fiery attitude will burn you and how to shift it into a fiery passion that can sustain you.
It was all about how level, two perspective, energy potential shows up in your day to day experience when you're under stress, along with the advantages and disadvantages, every level has them. We explored several strategies you can use to reduce your time being stuck here and access higher levels of energy, just like we're doing with level three.
All right. So if you missed it, go ahead and check out episode 88. This week, we are continuing the series and diving into level three,
this episode is for you. If you are feeling you should be further along than you are by now. Likely you are deep into strategizing tolerating and dealing with minor frustrations that are holding you back [00:02:00] from making the kind of progress that feels deeply satisfying.
And that's why we're talking about the level three perspective. What it looks like, what it feels like in everyday life and in business and the advantages and disadvantages as well as some, as well as some strategies that can help you expand into the higher levels of energy and using level three as a resource state to keep your momentum going.
level three energy is the energy of coping. With the core thought of I win you win two and that's okay. But I win first. Let's do a quick review of the levels so far, it helps to put things in perspective.
Level one, energy was all about stagnation and being the victim of life. And now when I say victim, it means that life is happening at you. The shift from level one to level two comes from the fiery need for change ignites within. . [00:03:00] So that firey need for change burns and pushes you into the next level.
Shifting from level two to level three, which is what we're talking about today happens when you start to take ownership of your own emotions, your own thoughts and your own life experience. Just as a reminder, we as humans go up and down through these levels of energy throughout the day. So no one is always a level one, no one is always a level two, no one is always a level three or any other level.
It depends on how we respond to life events and stressors. So how long we spend in each of those levels can change depending on how resilient we are. And so an example of that is say, you wake up feeling great it's gonna be a great day. It's gonna be a great day.
Right. But then you spill coffee on your white shirt. Oh, coffee on my white shirt. Oh, this is terrible. It's stained. It's ruined forever. [00:04:00] And what am I gonna wear now? Okay. And so that's just an example of how you can go from feeling great from one of the higher levels of energy to level two or level one.
Okay. So how long you spend there, this depends on how resilient you are. We all experience these every day. But with level three, things start to feel much better. Level three begins the anabolic energy in the scale of levels of energy and anabolic energy is the kind of energy that builds you up that helps you grow all right levels.
One and two were catabolic where they broke you. Okay. You had energy, you got things done, especially in level two, but it was the kind of energy that wouldn't sllow you last in the long term, because it would burn you out. Okay. Anabolic energy helps you build and grow [00:05:00] and it feels good. Okay. At this level, people tend to take responsibility for their thoughts, emotions, actions.
They know that what they think and feel is really up to them. And nobody else you can't make me feel a certain way unless I give you permission. I think that's an Eleanor Roosevelt bastardization quote I ruined her quote, but no one can make me feel any way that I don't desire to feel. Okay. The focus of level three is on winning through achieving your goals.
And meeting your own agenda first cause you got business to do and you gotta reach those goals. You win first, but if other people win as a result, that's great. Okay. But it's your goals first? Okay, and this isn't good or bad. It's just [00:06:00] an attitude. It's just where your focus is at that moment. Okay.
And so level three energy also has a lot of coping going on. All right. Coping in this context is to deal with an attempt to overcome problems and difficulties, because we see a lot of problems and difficulties, a lot of hurdles to jump in level three energy. Judging is judging things as good or bad black or white.
Discernment is the awareness of the situation without a story attached. You'll notice as we move up through the levels of energy that Discernment increases as we go up through the levels of energy and judgment decreases. In level one and two, there was a lot of judgment as good or bad. Coping at this level occurs because the person still has some judging going on.
All right. We are judging creatures, but in level three, there's still a little bit of judging going on. There's a problem. [00:07:00] How can I fix it? We're problem focused. Dealing with little hurdles. It's like watching your feet as you walk instead of gazing ahead as you walk and think of that too. If if you are a driver, if you drive, you don't look at, as you're driving the road just a few feet ahead, you look out into the distance.
Okay. And so in level three, we're still looking at the mid-distance. We're not looking out far enough. Okay. And the difference between this and winning at level two is that the intention of those operating from level three perspective is to have the other person win as well. But again, only after securing the win for themselves first.
In other words, the intention of level three is I win. And hopefully you win too, but either way I win primary goal. And I've said that a couple of times, but that is the primary thought. People who have a lot [00:08:00] of level three energy are masters at rationalization and rationalization. It sounds like a big word.
And it sounds like a bad word, but it's not okay. It's just a big word. They will motivate themselves and others by finding ways to. Release, forgive, tolerate, compromise, and explain away resentments, explain away stresses, disappointments, and other burdens in order to encourage cooperation and productivity.
There was a lot in there. I'm gonna talk a little bit more about each of those as we go on. All right. That was jam packed. All right. So again, this. Energy, these qualities that I'm bringing up now, you may not experience all of them, but if some of them do make a note, all right, because those are the things that you'll be working on.
People with predominant level three energy may still blame others, but [00:09:00] they rationalize other people's behavior to forgive them. Remember I said that big word, $10,000 word rationalization. We explain away other people's behavior so that it makes us feel a little better. An example of this is they didn't know what they were doing or saying, or they didn't mean it.
They didn't know any better. Okay. Whether or not that's true. We don't know. But at this level we, we say this because, Hey, it is what it is. All right. They didn't mean it. Okay. They didn't know any better when we use those phrases or phrases like that. It helps release catabolic energy. All right. Because if we believe that they meant it.
Ooh, we could get a little mad. If that we believe that they knew better, then why did they do that? [00:10:00] All right. So to let go of that energy, which does not serve you, if you decide that it doesn't serve you , you rationalize it. They didn't know better. They didn't know what they were saying. They didn't mean it.
Okay. And that's a coping mechanism. It's how we get through A person at this level may also feel unfulfilled and disappointed about their lot in life, where they are right now, as things didn't turn out exactly as they had planned, you had big plans. It doesn't look like you're experiencing it now.
Okay. At work, a person may rationalize conflict with others to be able to maintain the peace, which is very important at a, for a person who is in level. all right. And allow themselves to continue to be productive. Keeping the peace and being productive is very important. They may actually seek to repair, damaged [00:11:00] relationships and conflicts with others.
And, and sometimes this may come with like, Hey, what went wrong here? Why did this happen? Was it something I said, was it a belief that they had maybe a misconception it's trying to solve problems within those relationships? All right. And if you're experiencing level three energy, you know that what you feel is up to you and not others.
Right? And so this is a big shift from levels one and two, where you perceive the cause for what you thought felt and did to be outside of yourself. And at levels one and two. The cause for the problems is outside and you were just the receiver. So in other words, level one and two other events or people cause you to feel, think, and do things a certain way.
They did this. So that's why I did this, or they did this. And that's why I feel this way. And level three, you take full responsibility for your thoughts, emotions, and. [00:12:00] This is amazing. All right, cuz that's what you have control over. You choose how you want to react and your focus is on winning and your own agenda.
First. I know I keep saying this again and again, but it's important. So if other people win, that's great, but only if you win first and there's a little of what's in it for me feeling. Okay. And so that's one of the ways you can see what level of energy yours, like what's in it for me. What am I gonna get out of it?
At this level you believe, and I, I'm going to talk again about what's in it for me a little bit more when we get to level five. All right. But it there's a whole different intention behind it. Okay. So at this level, you believe that life is what you make it, and you're ready to do what it takes to reach success and, and you take action for the most part.
Okay. We're gonna talk a little bit more about that in just a. In business or at [00:13:00] work, it feels like you're not fully committed. All right. You may think you are, but you're holding back in some way. And this can look like maybe feeling like you have a good plan, but only doing it. If you're sure it will work, there has to be some certainty.
All right. There has to be certainty. And this holds people back from moving forward. All right. It feels like they have to overcome one hurdle after another. It just feels like one problem. After another, putting out one fire after another, feel like a fireman chasing and putting out fires or a cat herder.
All right. Chasing those cats, trying to herd them all in the right direction. And in business, they may rationalize conflict with others to maintain peace peace and productivity. Like I said earlier are very important to somebody [00:14:00] experiencing level three. And again, they may explain away resentments stress, disappointment to encourage cooperation and productivity.
I'm gonna use another word that sometimes has some negative connotations, but in this aspect, I'm using it in a nonjudgmental way. All right. Motivate and manipulate. They use these coping strategies to motivate and manipulate. themselves and others by coping, releasing, and forgiving.
Now let's talk a little bit about forgiving at, cause I've mentioned forgiveness a couple of times so far., but I really wanna bring it up here. That forgiveness at this level is an example is somebody says, oh, please forgive me.
Forgive me. And you're like, okay, I forgive you. But inside you really don't forgive. All right. It's not that you don't want to forgive, but there's still [00:15:00] something in there tugging at your heart tugging at your mind, tugging at your anger strings a little bit. Okay. So you're not fully forgiving.
You say you forgive, but you're still feeling it. All right. We're going to talk about what true forgiveness is when we get to level four. Okay. In the next episode. All right. And so. Like we said, you're a master of rationalizations. You rationalize other people's behavior to forgive them. And you think of it as people are generally good.
People are generally good. They just don't know any better. Okay. They're all idiots. forgiving it again. Forgiving it. Level three. May still include blaming others. They say that the past isn't important, even if they don't believe it yet. And here. Is where we get into some more depth people in level three are not super clear on their personal values.
And what's really [00:16:00] important to them. Okay. They tend to feel unfulfilled and disappointed about where they are in life. And like I mentioned earlier, since things haven't turned out the way they planned and a common thought here, I can do better. All right. I, oh gosh, I can do better. All right. Now let's talk about relationships.
There's a certain dance between a person at level three and their partner. All right, though, each understands their roles. Like, you know, what you do and what they like. And all of that, you don't really understand the other person and they tend to try to fix the other person instead of trying to grow together.
Okay. They have specific roles in the relationship, but they may not understand their partner very well. Again, in level three there's still a bit judgemental of others in situations. So if you feel a judgment coming on [00:17:00] about somebody else, Of this is level three energy, but they do believe even though they have judgments, they do believe that everyone is different and that's okay.
It's like, oh, I wouldn't do that, but that's okay. It's that's them. Okay. Now let's get into. Something that I think is very important, especially when it comes to dealing with your levels of energy and how to get things to stop pulling you out of alignment. Tolerating. All right. A person at level three, tolerates, a lot of stuff.
They may think that what I can't see. Oh, I know it's there, but I'm not looking at it. What I can't see can't hurt me. They might say to themselves, I am in control of my life and I know how to play the game. All right. But they're tolerating. Less than ideal situations to make do with good enough. All right.
So [00:18:00] tolerating dealing with good enough is a huge part of level three.
So let's talk about the advantages and disadvantages of level three. First, the advantages, the first one is you don't allow other people to stand in the way of what you want, you know, what you want and you'll go for it. Mostly. Okay. And you also have the ability to avoid block and release the negativity of others.
It's like, oh, keep your negativity over there. And you're able to engage people easily at level three and you don't stop until you get what you want. All right. So this is a great advantage. All right. You keep going. And when you can access the higher levels of energy, you can start using level three as a tool or a resource with the less of the disadvantages.
So [00:19:00] let's talk a little bit about the disadvantages, the things that when you can use level three as a tool, these are the things that fall away. All right. In regards to the disadvantages. You could be a bit manipulative and self concerning. Trying to manage the situation and what's in it for me.
All right. Hopes and promises. Aren't really given from the heart, but from the head it's like, oh yeah, yeah, I'll do that. I'll do that. But it's like, oh yes, I will do that. Very different energy. And also with level three, you're not so concerned if things don't work out because you did your best. I did my best.
All right. Okay. So let me ask you, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to but answer it for [00:20:00] yourself. How does this level three energy show up for you? How does it show up in your life? In your business? Okay. What else do you notice about your level three energy in yourself?
Especially when you're under stress, when you're under stress, some of the more the disadvantages show up more often. All right. When you're under stress. So how do those show up for you? And what would be the benefit of reducing or increasing your level three energy. Okay. And so here I promised some strategies for reducing or releasing catabolic energy and increasing the anabolic energy of level three.
All right. And so the first couple. Sounds like some remedial homework, a little bit focus on recognizing when you are experiencing level one and two energy. [00:21:00] Okay. So go back and listen to those episodes and to see what shows up for you. All right. And then focus on reducing the amount of time you spend at the effect of level one and level two.
This is a recurring strategy for each of the higher levels of energy. Okay. Because level one and level two. They're ground in deep. Okay. They're in there deep and it's almost like new level new devil. I can assure you. It's often the same devil just with better accoutrements. Okay. So perhaps it's wearing silk this time.
Maybe it's wearing diamonds, maybe it's wearing pearls at each additional level, but it shows up a little bit in each level. So when you reduce the effect of level one and level two, you have more access to the anabolic energy and the higher levels of energy. So check out episodes 87 for level one [00:22:00] and 88 for level two, to see how they show up for you.
All right. And an overview of the strategies so that you can work through them. And the next one is move away from me, focused to we focused, explore ways to serve others. So how can you help someone else? Win first. Okay. That can be a big one. All right. So move away from me, focused to we and explore ways to serve.
All right. Find ways to help other people win first win before you do all right. Cause think about it. How does helping others succeed first actually help you win in the long term? All right. And so this is kind of the intention in level three. All [00:23:00] right. You still get to win. All right. But how does helping other people win first?
Give you what you need in the long term. Okay. And now we're getting back to tolerating, find ways to reduce or eliminate the things that you tolerate. All right. The things that are less than ideal situations. Again, people at level three tolerate a lot. Those tolerations distract you and take energy away.
They're getting by with good enough. So stop tolerating making due with almost good enough because when you tolerate with something that is almost good enough. It's good enough. to stay at the level you currently are. All right, but it won't get you to the next level. So identify what you're tolerating in life in business, then up level it.
[00:24:00] And one of the ways you can do that is figuring out what you're tolerating, figure out what your tolerations are within your immediate control, the things that are within your immediate control. Then create a plan and follow through on it. All right. And systematically eliminating each of your tolerations because they're distractions, they're pulling your attention away.
Ah, and that brings us too going all in now, you know, it's almost like a cliche at this point, isn't it? But going all in. Is a fantastic strategy for level three, because oftentimes when people are at level three, like I said earlier, they're willing to make a plan and to go for it as long as they have some certainty that they'll succeed at the end.
All right. Sometimes you just need to go all in and trust the process. All right. So [00:25:00] explore what it would be like to go all in, in both life and business. okay. What would it feel like to fully commit to your business goals? Okay. How would fully committing to your goals, change how you experience both your business and your life.
And the next one is rediscover your personal life values, right? You say, oh, I know what my values are. I know what they are. Great. Reinvestigate re-explore rediscover your personal life values because sometimes things change. You might have some that remain the same and you might have some that change because of your life experience.
How do each of those values show up for you? What does it feel like when your values are being honored? What does it feel like when your values are not honored? All right. What is most important to you? How do they show up when you're honoring [00:26:00] them and when they are in conflict with other people's values?
Yeah. That's a lot of work. All right. And then work to understand others' life's values, right? So it's fully understanding yourself. And then once you understand yourself, going in to understand , what others values are in life. Okay. By understanding what is important to you and learning what drives others, you'll realize that you don't need to fix them, right?
You don't need to fix other people, let them fix themselves. Focus on yourself. All right. You can have your values and they can have their values. And this is where personal boundaries start. All right. Personal boundaries is our really big topic books. Encyclopedias could be written [00:27:00] about boundaries. I'm gonna save it for another episode, but for now the most basic thing to understand about boundaries is that they are your personal boundaries and no one else needs to respect them.
Other than you. All right. They are a commitment to yourself. And so, yeah, what, I'm gonna expand a little bit on that here, because these boundaries are yours. Nobody else needs to respect them. So if you have a particular political boundary or a business boundary, you need to be very clear. What happens if somebody else crosses it crosses that boundary.
All right. And then they're gonna have to be okay with the consequences and consequences is another $10,000 word that has some negative connotations, but oftentimes the boundary is letting them know, Hey, I don't [00:28:00] accept calls after 5:00 PM. My business. Is done for the day or you can leave a message and I will respond in a period of time.
Or I respectfully ask that we not discuss this topic at this point in time. Okay.
So you get to decide what your boundaries are. And then you need to follow through if the person decides to continue talking about the topic that you ask them, not to discuss at this point in time, you need to remove yourself from the situation. Okay. That's just one. That's just an example. All right.
So I'm gonna save that for another episode. So, so far we looked at what level three looks like and feels like along with how it may show up in life and business. And we also looked at the advantages and disadvantages of level three [00:29:00] energy. Remember we each experience all of the levels of energy every day in varying amounts.
The more you work through and use these strategies, and work through the catabolic responses. The easier it will be to expand into the higher levels of energy. And so the next episode in the series will dive into how most people experience level four perspective energy. And this is the level of love, compassion and service.
Ah, Level four is a great place to be. It's going to be a fantastic episode folks so tune in next week you won't want to miss it
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How to recognize when your fiery attitude will burn you & how to shift it into fiery passion that sustains you (Level 2 Perspective)
14 Jun 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
🔥 Strong forceful leaders get things done and can have terrific business success for a time. This level of energy is not sustainable in the long run.
🔥 Being seen as a "strong leader" can seem admirable, yet characteristics of anger, forcefulness, and dictatorial leadership can leak through and damage not only your business but also your health and relationships.
🔥 In This episode I'm sharing how to recognize when your fiery attitude will burn you, and how to shift it into fiery passion that sustains you. There are many subtle things to look for in yourself that you CAN shift. That's why I'm sharing the subtle signs to look for - because we need to become aware of them before we can address them. I'll also be sharing some strategies you can use TODAY to increase harmony in your life AND business.
Listen in to hear about how this 2nd energetic perspective:
feels likewhat it looks like if you are stuck thereor are subtly affected by it (this is the tricky one)Strategies to get out of it and access the higher level energetic perspectives that will bring you where you want to go faster and more enjoyably.and so much more!
Remember: It's not what you say or do, but your intention behind it that matters
*****
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
*********
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Transcript:
88 - Energetic Perspectives Series: How to recognize when your fiery attitude will burn you & how to shift it into fiery passion that sustains you
[00:00:00]
[00:00:55] Trina: Welcome back to the field guide to awesome folks. Last episode, we [00:01:00] began the energetic perspective series, starting with level one perspective. I spoke about how to recognize and clear out the subtle forces that are holding you back from the momentum and fulfillment. That was meant for you. It was all about how level one perspective, energy potential shows up.
Along with its advantages and disadvantages, every level has them. Then we explored several strategies you can use to reduce your time being stuck here and access higher levels of energy. If you missed it make sure to go back and check it out because this week we are continuing the series and diving into level two
welcome everybody. Welcome. Welcome. Today I'm talking about how to recognize when your fiery attitude will burn you and how to shift it into a fiery passion that can sustain. Let's jump in. Welcome to the energetic perspective series. Each [00:02:00] episode in the series will be focused on one aspect of each of the seven levels of perspective and intention.
Each of these seven levels determine our experience and the outcomes we get, as we move through the day. Welcome to level two energy, which is all about the fighter and I win. You lose thinking we're gonna be looking at what level two looks and feels like and how it may show up in your life and business experience, as well as the advantages and disadvantages of level two energy and perspective.
Again, every level has advantages and disadvantages. The characteristics I'm about to discuss often do not feel good and few, like to see them in themselves. I know I don't. All right. So remember, as we go through what this level, two perspective energy looks like and feels like some of the characteristics may resonate and others may not.
So [00:03:00] disregard the characteristics that don't resonate and make note of the ones that do. Okay. Cause remember awareness creates choice. And when we have choices, we can choose to shift our perspective consistently and increase our capacity to access the higher levels of energy. And at the end, I'm going to wrap it up by sharing with you some strategies you can use to shift to a higher level of energy.
So prepare yourself for some suck. Alright. But don't worry. There are things that you can do to shift. All right. So for real, for real, oh, let's dive in level one. Energy was all about the stagnation and feeling. The effect of life being the victim of life, things that happen at you. All right. And so there's still a bit of this in level two.
The shift from level one to level two comes when the discomfort of staying where you are, is [00:04:00] more painful than making a move to change it. It's kind of like the poker in the butt. All right. It's as if a fire was lit inside you at first, that fire is a thing that grows on its own into a conflagration.
When that anger is not directed, it can be destructive. In other words, catabolic. So level two is still considered catabolic. However, when you have access to higher levels of perspective, it can be used as a tool, but its results and effect are very different from what you're going to hear about today.
We're gonna talk more about that when we explore the higher levels of more anabolic energy. All right, right now, the characteristics that you're gonna be hearing about is when somebody is really stuck in level two, it's the predominant energy of not only in the workplace, but life in general. Okay.
Level two. Energy is characterized by conflict, internal or external. And the core [00:05:00] emotion here is, is anger. All right. There's a lot of anger inside and this energy contains thinking of. Agonism struggle. Resistance, blame, frustration, defiance. All right. So from a level two perspective, everything tends to be viewed as black or white, right.
Or wrong, good or bad. All right. These judgments result, and it's not, your judgment is bad. It's judging things as black and white, good or bad. All right. These judgements result in limited options since the full scope of available possibilities is not apparent. You just can't see them with that kind of thinking to the person operating with this level of energy.
They often manage and operate by force control or coercion. They may appear to be very confident. All right. Always thinking that their way is the right way they can get caught up in focusing on what's wrong. What's broken and potentially who or what is to blame. And while initial [00:06:00] results may look successful, this way of leading others and organizations will ultimately fail.
It's not sustainable. All right. The effort expended to live and act in constant catabolic energy will train them and those around them to. Just fight and struggle. All right. So one of the things that I wanted to mention also is that with this level of energy it, Let's put it this way. There are strong forceful leaders out there who are very successful even while working with this level two energy. They get things done. They can have terrific business success. For a time. This level of energy is not sustainable in the long run. And being seen as a strong leader can seem really admirable.
All right. Yet the characteristics of anger, forcefulness, [00:07:00] dictatorial, leadership, it can leak through and damage not only your business, but also your health and your relationships. All right. So this is part of why this is so important.
I just wanted to get that in there cuz I know we, we see many leaders out in the world, entrepreneurial business, world leaders who, who lead by this level two energy. And you know, they make money, they have success, but they don't feel that success. Right. They don't feel it. And the people that they lead certainly don't feel that success.
Let's dive back in to the pool. With this level two energy people can be angry and they blame themselves and, and others for their lives, the past for any negative thoughts and emotions. So there's a lot of blame that happens in level two. Blame is also apparent in level one, but in level two, I mean, it's, it's an angry blame.
All right. They're not taking [00:08:00] ownership of. Feeling their emotions. All right. So people with predominant level two energy are usually not as happy or fulfilled or emotionally satisfied as they could be. All right. Their work and home life is neither as productive, nor as exciting or fulfilling as, as they'd like
that doesn't feel good. And they usually don't feel like they're contributing. And they don't feel appreciated. All right. And so kind of think about how that worked. They don't feel like they're contributing and they're not feeling appreciated. And at the same time they may feel taken advantage of.
All right. So think of times, when did you feel taken advantage of all right. And so does it mean that they're not being taken advantage of? No. It means that they're feeling that way. All right. Many people at this level refuse to open up fully because they don't trust their partner, their team, the persons that they're with completely.
So they hold [00:09:00] back. Most people with this energy still feel that their life is not where they'd like it to be. In comparison to level one en energy people with this second level of energy are very they're very willing to do something about it though. Okay. So level one, they're just sitting in the suck in level two, they're feeling the suck and they're ready to do something about it, cuz it's that fire, that passion that moves them into action.
All right. And so many people with this level of energy perspective intention because of a past experience or circumstance that they've been through they haven't fully completely released it. Okay. And again, level two is catabolic. So that means that it breaks you down it's energy and it gets you into the move.
But it's going to break you down instead of allowing you to grow. And so with this conflict, anger, and force, they see threats everywhere. All right. So a little bit of paranoia. All right. They [00:10:00] see threats everywhere and they experience antagonism. They struggle. And they're always in attack mode. They're constantly working, who are my workaholics out there.
Raise your hand virtually. I can't see them, but admit to yourself. Okay. So are you a workaholic? All right. Are you constantly working? What is the reason behind not being able to take time off or to take time to refill your well, they're trying to do it all on their own. They tend to micromanage if they do have a team and remember I'm going through all of these characteristics, and if you have one, it doesn't mean that you have them all, you might recognize one or two of these or more of these.
Okay. But. These are just tendencies. They also experience a lot of defensiveness and self-protection. They experience resistance, frustration, and defiance as I said earlier. All right. Pushing. There's a lot [00:11:00] of pushing and fighting. All right. They get stuck in perfectionism rather than progress.
Okay. Things have to be perfect and they're pushing, pushing, pushing, and not allowing themselves to experience progress. All right. And so in business, this might look like forever getting stuck in making things perfect and not getting their offer or product out to their customers, black and white thinking, right.
Or wrong, good or bad other judgments result in limited options. And they can't see the possibilities that are always there. And opportunities are always right in front of you. But when someone has this closed off thinking and judgment, they're not able to see what's right and out in front of them.
All right. They're stuck in win or lose. I win. So you must lose thinking. All right. I win heck with you all. Thinking. Okay. It feels like a dog-eat-dog world and it feels like nobody cares about [00:12:00] getting to know the real them. All right. Oh gosh, that doesn't feel good. They still experience loneliness in a crowd.
That was a big thing in level one. They feel most people use them then discard them when they're done. And they must control all aspects of life. They also hold grudges against self and others. Forgiveness must be earned. All right. But here with, even if the forgiveness is, is earned, They're still holding on to the grudge.
The grudge is still there. All right. In general, they're disappointed in life . And one of the characteristics that we see a lot here is a person with this level of intention. With this level of perspective, this level of energy, they also engage in a lot of numbing behaviors because in level one, there was just like the numbness and.
Of enui. All right. You, [00:13:00] this is just what it is. And level two, all of a sudden there's new energy, there's new fire. And, you know, at first, like fire, it burns and it hurts. It hurts inside too. Okay. And so with like this influx of high emotion of strong, powerful emotions, There also comes a need for numbing.
All right, because it's too much, you gotta make it a little easier and our brains naturally do this. And so numbing behaviors are basically normally fun. Relaxing are otherwise enjoyable behaviors that are used to escape. Undesired tasks, experiences and feelings. And so you, how often have you found yourself, cuz this is a common human trait.
How often have you found yourself? You're supposed to be doing something that was work and that, you know, felt hard or was scary in some way, even if it [00:14:00] was very subtle, all of a sudden you find yourself surfing, social media, washing dishes. Doing another errand cleaning out a closet. Now those things, I mentioned, washing dishes, organizing a closet.
If I am doing those things I know. And, and, and I didn't like purposefully do them intend to do them. I know that I am avoiding something. That is either scary. That feels hard that I don't wanna do that. I don't understand. All right. So. That's kind of, one of my triggers is when I'm washing dishes or it's really bad if I'm organizing a closet cuz that's a big project that I am avoiding something and I'm doing a numbing behavior.
All right. And so numbing behaviors that leads to the next one, thinking that all good things in life are bad for you [00:15:00] because once those numbing behaviors are stopped, The things that you were escaping from return are still there. All right. Ignoring things. Don't make them go away. So the things we avoid do not go away.
Sometimes they get worse if we ignore them. And so it's kind of a faulty cause and effect logic going on there. Like the scrolling social media is bad. Watching TV, Netflix and chill is bad. All right. Those things aren't bad. They are neutral. They're they can be very fun, but doing those things when you should be doing something else and your brain knows you should be doing something else, you know, I'm using that evil word should when the fun activity ends, the unpleasant uncomfortable activity still is there and still needs to be.
Okay. Whew. All right. So back to some [00:16:00] other characteristics the need to punish others for taking advantage of them. So remember we talked about they feel that they're taking advantage of and yeah. Then they feel like they need to punish them. Push me one more time. And I'll explode the straw that broke the camel's back.
All right. And lack mindset is very strong in level two, and it feels like there's not enough to go around. They still feel like they aren't making enough money, that they don't have enough clients. They're not the right type of clients. Clients don't have money to pay them, or they're not getting paid.
What they're worth. Or even that they don't know enough somehow there's not enough of something and it frustrates and angers them. Okay. And there's also the emotional roller coaster between struggle and anger and when things are going good, they're going very good. All right. When they're at a high that's great.
But it doesn't last long and money is the same way. They may get a windfall, but they [00:17:00] lose it very quickly. It goes to bills. It goes to pay off something. All right. So money doesn't feel like it sticks around. that was a lot of suck, right? A lot of suck right there, but let's talk about the advantages because there are advantages and disadvantages.
Most of what we Have heard about level two feels like a disadvantage, right. But there are advantages. And the advantage of level two is that it enables people to get a lot done by themselves. All right. When you don't got anybody else, you know, you can do it or nobody does it as good as you, so you get a lot done and it can also motivate others temporarily.
All right. So anger, forcefulness, you need to get this done. And the, your employee or your friend or whoever is like, okay, I'll do it. And they do it and they do it. They do [00:18:00] it just to get it done. In that aspect, think about like, if you're forceful about trying to get somebody to get something done, like, you know, even a parent and a child, a parent, like being level two at their kid, get that done.
The person is just going to do the work. Right. But there may not be quality. The person is not going to enjoy the work. Your team member, child, friend, coworker is going to be miserable. All right. And so that's going to break down relationships. But back to the advantages. A person at this level is usually very good at playing the game the way it was taught to them.
The game of life, the game of business they're this is the step I'm gonna do this step. And this is what works and I'm following the rules. Okay. The disadvantages of this level energy, it, it can alienate other people and cause them to be motivated by anger or fear.
Because of that other people [00:19:00] are not inspired and your team members, aren't inspired your kids. Aren't inspired. And you know, it's just, they're just trying to get it done because they're either afraid of you or afraid of the person at level two or. They're pissed off and they just let's just get it done.
All right. And so oftentimes quality isn't there. Level two forcefulness can cause them to, to be dissatisfied and unproductive. Even with level two energy. I wanna remind you that no level of energy is inherently good or bad. All have advantages and disadvantages. Like I just spoke about the difference is in whether the person is a victim of the level of energy at the effect of it, or can use the level two energy as a tool.
As a resource. All right. And without being trapped by the emotions and beliefs of level two, so you can use the energy and not be trapped by the [00:20:00] emotions and beliefs. So you can, sometimes you need to use a stern voice like this really needs to be done right now, or I'm disappointed with how this turned out.
All right, but then still use the other levels of energy to, how can we make this better? All right. What are the, the other options? All right. And so I don't wanna give any spoilers, but it does get better and you can integrate this level, two energy with the higher levels of energy and use it as a tool.
The great thing about level two energy is that it is like lighting a fire of anger and the anger and level two feels better than the apathy and victim. Stiffness of level one. So when someone is stuck in level one, nothing much happens not until the level one person gets uncomfortable enough, irritated enough, or angry [00:21:00] enough to make a change.
And that's when the person's energy begins to shift from level one to level two. All right. And so on your own, when you have time, Ask yourself some questions, like how has some, how have some of these characteristics shown up in your life and in your business? Being aware of it is the first step.
All right. The more you explore and address and release these issues, the easier it will be to access higher levels of energy. I did promise some strategies for reducing the level two energy and making room to expand into the higher levels of more anabolic energy.
All right. Much of the work here is identifying your limiting beliefs, understanding how they are holding you back and adopting new ways of thinking about. Opportunities open up to you as you let go of black and white thinking and start exploring the gray [00:22:00] areas. What possibilities and opportunities open up to you when you go into the gray?
All right. The in between spaces. You actually also start making progress on your goals by embracing progress. Instead of perfection, perfection is impossible. And if anybody waited until a product or a service was perfect, it would never make it to market. All right. So think of software where apple, whether it's apple or Microsoft, the first releases are always full of bugs.
Not everything works the way it should. And then the software giants, they release updates and upgrades to improve their product in incrementally. All right. And so basically just you have to get what you have out there and make improvements based on the feedback from your clients, from your customers.[00:23:00]
All right. Failures, no longer hold you back from success. You have to change how you think about failure. All right. It's adopting a win or learn mindset. All right. Instead of a success failure mindset, now it's easy to say. It's harder to do to shift that internally within you.
To change how you feel. And, and to change your intentions, it's not just what you say and do it's your intention that changes your energy. All right. So if your business effort meets expectations, fantastic. And if it falls short of expectations, Yeah, it doesn't feel great.
All right. Until you realize you have either learned how not to do it again, or how to fix things going forward, and that's still fantastic. All right. So think of Edison, who we credit for [00:24:00] in inventing the light bulb, but was actually somebody else. But after his 900th and 99th unsuccessful attempt, someone spoke to him about failure.
And Edison's response was that he had only found 999 ways of not doing it. So thank goodness he didn't stop until he got it right. Because we'd all be sitting in the dark. All right. The next one is changing your concept of competition. All right. Competition disappears. When you start exploring abundance thinking just because somebody else wins, it doesn't mean that you lose.
And I'm not talking about a certificate of merit. All right. Just because somebody else wins you like on Facebook, on social media, you see someone celebrating their financial windfall or a financial success in their business. All [00:25:00] right. I myself celebrate them because yay. More wealth for more people.
I know that just because they got this financial success or they got this wonderful thing in their life, this, this gift of abundance, it doesn't mean that my abundance is not waiting for. Okay. Just because you win and just because you win, it doesn't mean that there's any less to go around for others.
And that's also important. You know, when we're talking about money mindset, just because somebody is giving you money doesn't mean that there's less to go around for others or that there's less value for others. All right. Competition is just a construct. Even if your business is in the same niche as a sea of others.
All right. Even if there are people who are kind of [00:26:00] like you or very closely like you, how are you different? And you are all right, what is your secret superpower? I almost hate using that word, but you know, there is something secret and unique about you. All right. How does your personality bring value to what you do?
How, how do you talk about what you do that is unique from anybody else? All right. Start thinking and exploring that a little bit more when you've start to feel like competition is like poking you. It's like, oh, how am I unique? Okay. And so we got a few more increase control over your strong emotions.
Now I'm not saying don't have emotions. I'm not saying quiet down or become smaller, just increase control over 'em so that you're not responding. Like a firework. [00:27:00] When something happens, you're not responding and reacting. Instead you want to intentionally respond, transform your fiery, angry or anger and frustration that holds you back into fiery passion that moves you forward.
Okay. At this stage, if you at the stuck you're the victim. Of your own anger and your anger uses you. And I'm sure you've seen martial arts movies or some kind of action movie where the hero stays calm and collected and he GOs the bad guy and the bad guy explodes and, and does something stupid.
And the good guy. SWOS in and defeats the bad guy or vice versa. There there's always that dichotomy, there's a time in the movie where the good guy is just reacting and he is angry and, and the wise person says, [00:28:00] control your emotions. It's the angry person that loses. Okay. So it's kind of a TV movie film.
Trope. Okay. And so it's true here too. So transform your fiery anger into fiery passion that moves you forward. Okay. And so you can use it as a tool instead of being used by it. And we got two more move on from grudges. All right. Practice forgiveness, and letting go of grudges. When holding onto grudges, often the person who is hurt.
Most is you. And it's like, you are drinking poison to spite someone else. And you're punishing yourself and merely annoying or making somebody else uncomfortable if you have a grudge against them. And that's even if they [00:29:00] are even aware that you have the grudge. All right. So forgiveness, isn't so much for other people, and this is kind of a cliche too.
Forgiveness is mostly for you to make you feel better, to stop hurting yourself, to spite others. Okay. And trust life and business feel so much easier and so much better. And they flow so much smoother and are less scary when you're exploring trust and what that means for you and your business. What would bringing on skilled help do to help you free you up from the minutia.
So you can work in your zone of genius, and that might look like learning how to delegate effectively and creating clear processes that your new team can use to meet your business goals and move past the win lose scenario. At level two, the core thought tends to be, I win. You lose. Okay. How [00:30:00] can you start to find the win-win solutions take responsibility for how you're feeling and thinking . both level one and level two tend to be at the effect of, or feel like things outside of themselves are caus.
How they think and feel, however, it's how we think and feel that determines how we see the world. So start deciding how you want to feel and what you want to think and look for evidence of how doing that changes your experience, explore how it feels to find success with your own power instead of forcing things to happen.
Next episode, we're gonna be talking about level three. I win. If you win too, that is okay. And things start to feel better at level three, since it's the start of the anabolic healing and growth, energy stay tuned. You won't want to miss it.
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Energetic Perspectives Series: How to recognize and clear out the subtle forces that are holding you back from the momentum, and fulfillment that was meant for you.
31 Mai 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
🔥 First up will be Level 1: Victim energy and "I Lose".
How to recognize and clear out the subtle forces that are holding you back from the momentum, and fulfillment that was meant for you.
🔥 No one likes to be a victim. Nor do they like to feel or think of themselves as one. Even if life and biz are mostly great, you likely have subtle influences of this energy that prevent you from accessing opportunities that are right in front of you.
🔥 I'll be talking about how this "victim" energy, also known as Level 1 Perspective may show up for you, how to recognize it, how to stop being at the effect of it and break the cycle - so you can clear out the subtle forces that are holding you back from the momentum, and fulfillment that was meant for you.
Listen in to hear about this 1st energetic perspective:
How it feelswhat it looks like if you are stuck thereor are subtly affected by it (this is the tricky one) (minor head injury example)It isn't an all or nothing stateIt isn't always obviousIt's not good, nor bad (a place of hiding and a place of rest)it has both disadvantages AND advantagesStrategies (disruption & fiery passion) to get out of it and access the higher level energetic perspectives that will bring you where you want to go faster and more enjoyably.And so much more!
Remember: It's not what you say or do, but your intention behind it that matters
*****
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
*********
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Are you a Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?
If so, I'd love to interview you!
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TRANSCRIPT
87 - Energetic Perspectives Series: How to recognize and clear out the subtle forces that are holding you back from the momentum, and fulfillment that was meant for you.
[00:00:00]
[00:00:55] Trina: Welcome back to the field guide to awesome folks. Last week I spoke [00:01:00] about the seven different perspectives of lying that we all experience at some point or another. including How we recognize them in ourselves. And the worst type of lie that we need to recognize as soon as possible and stop it before it causes any more damage.
So if you missed it, go back and check it out.
But don't go yet, folks.
This week we are. Diving in to the energetic perspective series.
Each episode in the series will be focused on one aspect of the seven levels of perspective. Why is this important? You were about to find out this is going to be awesome.
Well, this first level is not so awesome. But we need to recognize. Figure out what it looks like, [00:02:00] and I'm going to also be sharing with you some strategies on how to get past it. All right. My name is Trina and I am a success and self-mastery coach. And today we are going to be talking about level one, victim energy, and the perspective of "I lose". What a fun way to start an episode. Right. No one likes to be a victim, nor do they like to feel or think of themselves as one. I know I don't. I know you don't - being a victim Isn't fun. Right? So who is this for? This is for you because there are times in your life when you will experience some of what I talk about here.
All right. [00:03:00] So have you ever been stuck in a pattern where you felt like you had no choice or stuck in a situation where. Well, maybe not you, maybe you don't recognize it as being stuck, but where you're doing mostly well or heck doing fantastic. Right? You still have some work to do. All right. Because serial success makers who are mostly working in their know and flow.
But still know that there's something more for them. All right. They can struggle to integrate this into their lives or those of you who are working towards something that seems to take a step back for every step forward you take. All right. It's like the goalpost is moving and Hey, even if you know exactly what you [00:04:00] need to do, but it's either not catching on or it's exhausting.
It's exhausting. You all out of proportion to the perceived tax. All right. You likely have the subtle influences of this energy that prevent you from accessing opportunities that are right in front of you. I swear. These opportunities are right in front of you. You just can't see them yet. Okay. And Hey human.
Yeah. You, you have experienced this kind of low energetic state that I'm talking about, even if it's a small. All right. And we're going to talk really briefly, a little later on today about how even like a small bit of this energy can pull you out of alignment and the hide major growth from you. Okay.
And so. I'm going to be talking about this victim energy, as well as it's also known as level [00:05:00] one perspective, how it will show up for you, how to recognize it and how to stop being at the effect of it. And break the cycle. So you can clear out the subtle forces that are holding you back from the momentum, the fulfillment, and happiness, that was meant for you. All right. So some things to keep in mind that it's not an all or nothing state, you could be regularly operating a successful business, building strong, compassionate relationships, leading like a boss and still into intuitively innovating solutions. But even a little bit of this energy's perspective can limit the health, happiness, wealth, and fulfillment that is possible for you.
And this perspective, isn't always obvious. If you're really stuck in it, it is pretty obvious. But if it's just a little bit in your energy and it's just a little [00:06:00] bit in there, it's easy to miss it and put the onus on something else. So for example, it's easy to look at a person or a situation that's vexing you and putting the onus on them.
If only the situation was different or the person was different. Life would be easier, right. This, there wouldn't be a problem. All right. So I'll be sharing some of the things that might be subtle influences that are pulling you out of alignment. And again, what I'm going to share with you
in this episode, at least these are things that aren't fun to look at. But I want you to keep in mind that none of them are good or bad. They all have advantages and disadvantages. All right. It's all in the perspective of how you look at them. And I'm [00:07:00] also not talking about blowing sunshine up your butt or guests, you, or gaslighting yourself because there are legitimate benefits to some of these.
I mean, we wouldn't do anything if it didn't benefit us in some way, even if it's not in the. That we desire to go. All right. It's serving us in some way also. Remember, it's not what you say or do, but it's your intention behind what you say or do that matters. Okay. Okay. So before we jump into the icy dark depths of level, one perspective, let's talk a little bit about what energy leadership.
Okay. Energy leadership was developed by Bruce D. Schneider. He's a renowned coach and founder of my Alma mater IPEC Institute for professional excellence in coaching and Luke Iorio who's the president [00:08:00] of iPEC described energy leadership like this. All right. As individuals, we view the world through filters based on our experiences, our values, our assumptions, and our perspectives.
And those filters will either limit what we see, like tunnel vision or expand what we see, oh, like a prison. And all of that together will impact how we perceive and what we think about our circumstances. Whatever those circumstances are. And this in turn impacts how we show up in different situations.
Okay. So the energy leadership index assessment, there's also an assessment by the way. So as I go through this, you can recognize, or not things that you experienced in your life and in your business. But there is an actual assessment that you can go through and be debriefed by a master practitioner.
like moi. All right. That will [00:09:00] help reveal what specific filters you've developed and how those filters are influencing the results that you're achieving. Okay. But you don't need the assessment to go through and do a self-assessment. All right. So that's what I'm giving you here. This is a process, that helps you develop a personally effective style of leadership that positively influences and changes. Not only yourself. But also those with whom you work, , you live with, people around you. Okay. And also your company, your business as a whole. And this is a research-backed system and it's utilized by companies like Boeing, Ikea, the us coast guard, as well as thousands of individuals and everyday leaders from all walks of life.
Okay, so this kind of energy leadership puts you in touch with the missing link between your ambitions and your ability to achieve them. I'm about to talk [00:10:00] about some uncomfortable things. So brace yourself. All right. If any of the things that I talk about start to feel like they're triggering you.
Give yourself some great. Give yourself some space and a great big self-hug. All right. It's going to be okay. And remember your focus is your energetic makeup. All right. That we're just looking at your energy right now, or you're looking at your energy. And so some things will resonate with you more than others.
Okay. And so I invite you to disregard the things that don't resonate at all with you at no point. As I talk about this, am I saying that you have this, although you likely have at some point in yours. Okay. So you might be able to remember back to a time when you've experienced some of these things, but I'm not finger-pointing and saying that you have this, but that these [00:11:00] are the qualities and characteristics that are common in this level. One perspective type of energy. Okay. So disregard the things that don't resonate and take note of the things that do. Okay. So this level of energy is catabolic. Ooh. I just threw out a big word. Catabolic energy is energy that breaks you down. All right. It's the process that the body uses to generate energy, to counteract a stressor.
All right. And the body will find available energy within you. All right. That's stored within you and pulls it to generate the action or the energy that you. Okay. They'll pull that stored energy from some other place in your life. All right. So a person who is at the effect of level one is under stress [00:12:00] and catabolic energy is most easily seen in our stress response.
So when we're experiencing. These are likely some of the experiences that we may have now noticed we're not always under stress. All right. And so we might not see them, but when you are under stress, these are more apparent. So if a person has any energy in this level, they are a victim of, or when I use the word victim, I mean, at the effect of like, oh, it's happening to me.
Alright of certain events, thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and perceptions that hold them back from success. And so again, when I use the word victim, I'm talking about someone who is at the effect of something. So emotionally a level one feels bad. All right. It feels bad. And the amount of [00:13:00] desire, engagement, and action for life or specific aspects of it is very, very low accordingly level one energy.
It may show up as avoiding certain situations or difficult issues, not taking action and then avoiding making decisions now. If you're an entrepreneur, you know how damaging it can be if you're not, if you're avoiding things because you are afraid of them. If you're not taking action for some reason. All right.
What ha have you ever experienced a time in your life or your business where you were afraid to take an action or you didn't make a decision and then. It was too late to make a decision and you suffered some kind of consequence. All right. So oftentimes making a decision in business, it's it behooves an [00:14:00] entrepreneur, a CEO, a leader to make a decision fast, get the results fast because then you can make a different decision.
All right. It's not failing. All right, you get results, you get feedback. And so you make a decision. You get a fast result, you make another decision. at this level of energy, The stress about making those decisions. It results from a feeling of helplessness. I'm helpless to make a difference in any given situation or circumstance.
It may show up also as a feeling of powerlessness, often feeling that things are just happening, all right to them, and they don't have any control over the situation. It's a feeling of lack of control. Someone at this level might feel tired all of the [00:15:00] time. They might feel stuck and held back from success.
Like something is holding them back from the success that they, they see that they want. Okay. They may feel stuck, blocked, and unable to move forward. You see the next step, but you just can't make yourself take that next. in the safety, security, and anonymity, I didn't say that word right. Of your own home or raise your hand if you've ever felt that way, like stuck, blocked, unable to move forward even though you know, the exact next step.
All right. So even if you're just listening to my voice, I am raising my hand. I have felt this. Okay. Everybody has. It's not that you're not aware of what the next step is. You can't make yourself do it. An example of this is doing lives. All right. You [00:16:00] know, you need to do a live, you know, you have amazing things to say, but you can't push that live button.
You just can't make yourself push it. All right. So that's an example of that. Let's see, they might experience circular thinking. They get lost in thoughts, but they don't move, but the thoughts don't move them forward. And it's another word for rumination. They feel trapped by external circumstances.
It's something external to them that is holding them back. All right. There's not enough money. I in a remote location, people aren't close enough. I don't know who to ask for. All right. So external circumstances and something external to them that is holding them back, they might feel guilt for things that they've done or not done.
Right. Who's never felt guilt. I better not imagine seeing any hands go up. Okay. So, you know, guilt [00:17:00] can happen for things that you do or things that you've not done. Let's see, fear of failure and fear of success. I used to think that I never had the fear of success, but it's not true. When you think about building a business, when you think about bringing in a massive income, that feels great.
When you think about serving clients and serving a massive amount of clients, that feels great, but then there's also the subtle and sometimes unconscious fear of like, how do you need to show up differently to serve those clients? What systems do you need to have in place? To serve those clients.
You know, what is your money story? Like, you know, what does money mean to you? Right. So the fear of success comes up too. Oh, the fear of trying. Why bother [00:18:00] when nothing changed? And that may be the evidence up to a certain point, right? Why nothing I do about this particular situation ever changes.
So I just got to suck it up buttercup. Right? This is what it is. All right. So there's a couple of different ways of thinking about it is what it is. But when it comes to the perspective of why bother when nothing changes and the emotion behind it is one of defeat and giving up, all right. That's where that energy and under that phrase comes from.
Okay. And overwhelm a person at this level of energy might be feeling some overwhelm. All right. And have difficulty focusing. All right. And [00:19:00] what that might look like is having a really big project due, but having no ability to focus on it until they do a totally unrelated task, how many people has had, have had some kind of big thing that they needed to do, they couldn't make themselves doing it.
And all of a sudden they find themselves cleaning, washing dishes, doing laundry. All right. That's me when I'm in this level one, if I find myself doing household chores, I know I am avoiding something. And also procrastination now procrastination is not laziness. And in fact, I think I compare or combine procrastination with self-worth theory and perfection.
Okay. So, procrastination shows up here a feeling of lack of choice and options. And that brings us to [00:20:00] lack mindset, not enough of anything, especially time and money to go around. And again, we talked about this a little bit before, but avoidance of difficult issues, difficulty making decisions.
So, and also no, or low productivity. Right. And this might look like being busy all the time, but at the end of the day, you found out that you were so busy thinking about all of the things and doing menial and various tasks, nothing was actually accomplished. All right. This is kind of common. All right.
Feeling helpless to make a difference feeling like you're losing at life and business.
And avoiding confrontations. This means looks like having avoiding, having difficult conversations with team members with vendors or with clients or with family members. Okay. Avoiding those confrontations, avoiding having those [00:21:00] difficult conversations and avoiding embarrassment because oftentimes embarrassment feels like that.
It feels like death. All right. This is a big one because the embarrassment that I'm talking about is the embarrassment that is prolonged. It's prolonged by continuous thinking about it, I'm thinking about what embarrassed the person, but they can't escape it because they keep reminding themselves about it.
So if something embarrassing happened, think yes, that was embarrassing. But now. I stopped thinking about it. I'm going to think about something else. I know. I know easy to say, hard to do. We're going to get to that in just a couple of minutes. All right. Just a couple more things at this level, a person in level one in the victim perspective, they feel unappreciated undervalued.
All right. And the thing is, [00:22:00] it's not other people who are undervaluing them, they are undervaluing themselves. Right. And they're just trying to get through the day and they're lonely in a crowded room. You could be surrounded by awesome people, but feel lonely, feel like you're alone and invisible and misunderstood.
And sometimes at this level, a person is lacking. Or they've forgotten their purpose, man. Okay. Oh, that was rough. If you are still with me through that slog of level one, how kudos pat yourself on the back, give yourself a great big hug. Okay. Being in level one is not fun Even though the list we went through might have shown you some of the things that we don't like to recognize in ourselves.
I want to remind you that no level of energy is inherently good or bad, all [00:23:00] have advantages and disadvantages, and now we're going to get to what those are. Well, the disadvantages are pretty apparent, pretty apparent right here. But the advantages for level one center. And this is a really abbreviated list.
And I'll get to the why in just a moment, level one energy, the advantages are, it allows people to protect themselves from harm. All right. You don't try or do anything because you, you protecting yourself from failing. They can receive attention and sympathy from others. If you've been on social media for any amount of time, I am sure you've seen some posts that seem as if they are trying to elicit attention and sympathy from others.
. The advantage for a person who is experiencing this level is they don't have to assume responsibility of any negative life events. It wasn't my fault. It was something [00:24:00] outside that did it, right. It's not my fault. And in regards to the disadvantages again, they are pretty apparent.
None of what I talked about earlier in this episode has feels any kind of good, but for a person with a lot of level, one energy, they have little to no engagement in roles and tasks. When we talk about being in business and working, doing work, there's no engagement. All right. There's no ownership of tasks.
They encounter great difficulty effecting change, creating change, and improving life circumstances because the why change, why change? Just the nothing I do will make a difference. So why try? And they lack the ability to lead themselves and others. So, no matter what [00:25:00] you are a leader, you're a leader, no matter what you do or how you act, all right, people will see what you do and how you act.
And, you know, even if you're just leading yourself, Okay, but you're not going to effectively lead yourself. You're not going to effectively lead your team or your clients in that way.
All right. Take a deep breath. We're going to get to better things now. Okay. So now we're going to talk about the strategies to shift to a higher level of energy. Ready. Okay. . Being a level one, does suck. All right. It is rough, but the good news is you have strategies you can use to pull yourself out [00:26:00] of level one and into higher levels of energy.
Okay. And so those are, this one is going to sound a little trite, but bear with me, focus on the present and let go of the past. I know, so easy to say hard to do, but recognizing that just because the past was a certain way, you can choose to think, believe, feel, and act differently in the future.
So just recognize it or write it on a sticky note, slap it up on someplace where you're going to see it. Okay. Because of this takes work to integrate. All right. Focus on the present what's happening right now. What's happening in this present? One of the things that I take my clients through is grounding, centering somatic exercises.
Close your eyes? What do you taste? What does the inside of your mouth [00:27:00] tastes like? Do you need to brush your teeth? Does it taste like your tea? Does it taste like your coffee?. All right. Does it still tastes like lunch or does it taste clean? All right. What do you smell? What does your head feel like? What are your shoulders feel like?
What are the clothes feel like on your body right now? Can you feel your butt in your seat? Can you feel your feet on the floor? All right. Focus on the present. Become deeply present. All right, the next one, focus on what is in your immediate control and take immediate action, even if it's a tiny, tiny, small step forward.
All right. What is in your immediate control? You know, maybe it is, you can brush your teeth, but maybe it is you can stand [00:28:00] up, change your physical state. Changing your physical state is a huge, huge strategy. All right. Maybe it is in your immediate control. I can take a deep breath.
All right. What is in your immediate control and take immediate action. What is the next step you can do within the next five seconds? That will take five minutes or less. All right. And do that step, no matter how tiny it is, find ways to fill your well and put on your oxygen mask. All right. Make sure you put your oxygen mask on first.
And so this can look again I'm sure you've heard these suggestions. All right. And I'm not just regurgitating them. These will legitimately change your physical state. All right. Getting six to eight hours of sleep, [00:29:00] eating healthy, bringing more physical movement into your daily life, and making meditation or prayer. If that's your thing, part of your daily routine and exploring interests, hobbies, and clubs. All right. Evaluate your current relationships and explore new friendships. All right. Spend time with those who lift you up and set boundaries with those who bring you down boundaries. Are there things that one needs to respect for themselves?
It doesn't matter what anybody else does. My boundary is my boundary. If somebody else crosses it or impinges upon it, I get to decide what I no longer tolerate. Okay. And so when we talk about spending more time with those that lift you up and setting boundaries with those that bring you down, this isn't about ending relationships, unless [00:30:00] that feels right to you.
This is about making a conscious decision about who you spend time. Realizing this isn't a judgment on the other person. It's focusing on how you feel when you are around them. So if you're around somebody who always brings you down or who, you know, is like a psychic vampire, you can decide not to spend time around them and you don't have to give a reason.
You can tell them the truth that I'm choosing to do this right now. You know, I value your friendship, but this is where I need to be right now, journal and create lists. All right. And that might look like doing daily gratitudes. I have very good friends who I see all the time putting up their daily gratitudes and you can do it publicly, or you can do it privately.
All right. Make lists about simple things, profound things about yourself and others list your skills and your [00:31:00] accomplishments to date. All right. Be as objective as you can, especially when you're talking about your skills and accomplishments. It's so easy to to forget about past accomplishments and discount skills that you've already achieved and built up because if you could do it, everybody else can, and that's not true. All right. Ask someone you trust for help. All right. Don't just ask for help blindly, because you're going to get a whole bunch of advice that you do not want. So find someone that you trust and ask for help.
All right. And again, I want to go back to goals and accomplishments because there are some people who, once they accomplish things or they get really good at something, they take it for granted [00:32:00] and they tend to discount it as something that everyone else can do. And really that is not the case at all.
All right. And another list is identifying the I'm not good enough thoughts. All right. Identify your inner critic. Pay attention to when you find yourself thinking things like I'm not good, I'm not smart or talented or skilled enough. Just make a note. All right, who am I to do this?
And challenge those thoughts. Don't just take it as fact, who am I to do this? Who am I to do this? It's like, who am I to do this? I'm the only one to do this. I'm the best one to do this. I'm the one to do this because, okay. And perhaps the hardest part of getting out of level one, is because I just talked about a whole bunch of [00:33:00] strategies, which are super awesome.
Okay. But one of the biggest challenges of getting out of the level one perspective is being stuck in a pattern of inertia. All right. And if that's the case, it's time for a disruption creating some kind of fire underneath your butt. And when, when someone is stuck at this level of this perspective, it can feel like you're caught in a cycle.
Like you can't get out. Awareness of the pattern is great. Being aware of it is great and it provides choices, but you can't stop there. Okay. You can't stop with just awareness awareness paired with inaction equals self torture. All right. So don't do that to yourself.. Practicing disrupting this level one state will increase your capacity to access the higher levels of energy things.
Get better things, get funner, things, get [00:34:00] more compassionate things, get more powerful things. Get more intuitive. All right. So that means you need to continually choose to disrupt any level. One pattern you see in yourself, light, a fire, whether it's under your butt or in your soul, what's pissing you off about the situation or how you're feeling or what the situation is.
What do you no longer have availability for. What are you done with what is on your not to do list now, right? What's the line in the sand, the final straw that will goose you into moving into action, light that fire. Initially it may even feel like anger and force. All right. And that may feel uncomfortable at first.[00:35:00]
I may feel uncomfortable in a different way from the discomfort that you're experiencing now, but it will get you out of the swampy mire and into the action that characterizes a level, two perspective energy. Okay. And we're going to talk about that in the next episode. Remember, everyone's energetic profile is normal for them.
And yours is normal for you to, okay. What you're going through is normal. It may not be fun. It may not feel good, but you do have strategies now to get yourself out and remember, you don't need to do this alone. If you want help or you want to explore what that might look like, reach out to me and book a call.
All right. And it will be a no strings attached call. We will just have a conversation. [00:36:00] All right. And see where it goes from there. And inevitably you will leave with personalized strategies that will help you move out of this level one and access. What is possible for. Right. So have a wonderful day and I will talk to you later.
[00:36:20] Outro
[00:36:20] Trina: next week, the energetic perspective series continues with level two. This is where movement starts to happen in a forceful and fiery energy. With the perspective of I win. Entrepreneurial leaders can be successful in this energy. But it's not sustainable. We are going to talk about how level two shows up and how to turn this conflagration of force conflict and "my way, or the highway" intentionality into the fiery passion that gets your momentum going. It's going to be a fantastic episode folks so tune in next week you won't want to miss it[00:37:00]
[00:38:00]
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The 7 Different Perspectives of Lying & The Worst Lie We Need to Stop Before it Causes Any More Damage
24 Mai 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
🔥 Lies.
We hate 'emSometimes We love 'em.We get lied to all the time.And…We ALLLLL tell them.
🔥 Recent research has found that other than a small percentage of outliers we humans don't lie as much as you'd think. That's great, however when we DO lie it can affect our mental, emotional & physical selves.
🔥 I'm sharing the 7 different perspectives of lying that we all experience at some point or another. I'll share how to recognize them as well as the worst type of lie that we need to recognize asap and stop before it causes any more damage.
Listen in to hear about:
The 7 Perspectives of lying that we all experience at some point or anotherHow to recognize the intentions and perceptions around them - both when being told lies, and when telling liesExploring emotions when telling liesHow our bodies respond to lyingThe worst type of lie, and why we need to catch it before it goes any further.And so much more!

*****
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
*********
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Are you a Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?
If so, I'd love to interview you!
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TRANSCRIPT:
86 - The 7 Different Perspectives of Lying & The Worst Lie We Need to Stop Before it Causes Any More Damage
[00:00:00]
[00:00:56] Intro
[00:00:56] Trina: Have you ever gotten asked a question and [00:01:00] then think at first you got nothing. Only to realize that there's so much. That it all wants to come out all at the same time. Recently I was asked about a personal and or professional story that helped me stand where I am today.
So that's what I did. Last week. I shared the story of how I learned to become truly fully alive. Eyes wide nostrils, flaring, fully awake, expansive. And filled with a deep mental, physical, and emotional peace. that Informed my emotional and entrepreneurial journey. I was so thrilled to share it with you. So if you missed it, go back and check it out.
But don't go yet, folks.
[00:01:43] Episode Start
[00:01:43] Trina: Today, I am going to be talking about the seven different perspectives of lying that we all experience at some point or another. I'm going to talk about how we recognize them in ourselves. And the worst [00:02:00] type of lie that we need to recognize as soon as possible and stop it before it causes any more damage. My name is Trina and I am a transformational self-mastery coach and I help visionary entrepreneurs stop the overwork overwhelm over delivery exhaustion cycle. So that success. Can actually feel like success. And today I am talking about lies. We hate them. Sometimes we love them and we get lied to all the time and we all tell them.
So there are seven levels of perspective on lying. The first level lies tend to feel expected. Like you expect to feel lied to there's a sense of [00:03:00] powerless and defeat. Like of course. They lied to me all. I hear a lies, right? When you perceive somebody telling you lies, it feels like everybody lies to me.
The truth is hidden to me.. And when you, now, when I say the word you, I mean, you, me, everyone, when we're at this perspective, at this level of perspective, this is what tends to be there. All right. So when we tell lies, we tell lies from the space of, I don't know, Or I'm afraid for others to find out. And there's a lot of guilt and shame there.
All right. Not me. Who did this? Not me, not me. All right. So it's a source of conflict and self-defense and cowering. All right. We've all had this. And so that's when we're at the effect of it. [00:04:00] And we'll talk a little bit more later if we have time about how we can use this level as a power. All right. Instead of just a perspective.
All right. So the second level lies, elicit. anger, outrage. It's a source of conflict. So we're level one. We were avoiding conflict with level two. It's a place of conflict we're settling in. It's "I win, or no one wins.". I win. Forget about all y'all all right. So the perspective at level two, when they perceive someone is lying, whether it's true or not, it feels as if they just don't want me to know how to get ahead, they can do it. They just don't want. So that's if the person at level two is working with a team, you know, when they say, oh, I [00:05:00] can't do it. Yeah. They can do it. They just don't want to. All right. How dare they lie to me? So oftentimes the response when told lies is outrage and. Force conflict and the person tends to feel threatened.
All right. There's a sense of deep betrayal. I'm not mocking anything because this is what a person who is reacting from this perspective is feeling. And I CA I can hear someone out there. I'm not saying that you, I'm not saying that's me saying, not me. I'm never that way. We all have an aspect of this in ourselves someplace, even if it's very tiny.
All right. So when they tell lies, there's a sense of subterfuge to get ahead. Like I'm not going to tell them this so that I can get ahead. All right. [00:06:00] So the idea at level two is. You don't, I'm going to win heck with y'all.
And oh, level three, things are getting a little bit better. All right. But there's still a perspective of lying at level three, the lies at level three, this is a space of tolerating making do, making some progress, things are doing okay. But there's a lot of tolerating, less than ideal. And a lot of managing people and manipulating people. All right. And so at level three, lies tend to be used to manage a person or a situation. There there's no, or very little, if any Malignancy in there, there, it's just, they're lying just to manage, to get things, to go their way.
All right. And so our response when a person at this level is feeling that they're being lied to is a deep sense of disappointment and a loss of [00:07:00] trust. All right. When a person at this level is in this perspective, experiencing telling a lie it's as if they don't need to know they as the other person outside of the person at this level, don't need to know, but I got to tell him something, right. They don't need to know the truth, but I need to tell them something just to get them to participate or to leave me alone. Often little white lies.
And honestly, I think the little white lies that's prevalent almost every day. There was some research out there that spoke to the fact that in any conversation, a person tells two or three lies, little tiny, tiny lies, even. All right. Lies of omission tend to be a little more prevalent here.
What people don't know won't hurt them. [00:08:00] Right. And more silence instead of having to tell a lie silent. Starts here and just to hold the peace and the silence isn't to make anybody else feel better or to hurt anybody or to suffer, but it just holds the peace.
At the level four perspective of lies, there's a deep desire to shield someone from pain, from sadness, from shame, from disappointment. All right. So if somebody is telling a person a lie, who's at level four and the person at level four, at that perspective perceived it as a lie. There's a sense of concern. All right. There's a sense of concern.
What if the person who is lying to me? What if they're lie causes them more pain or sickness or hardship. All right. There's concern for the other person who may be [00:09:00] telling the lie than the person who is perceiving the lie. It's worry about the other person or about other people. There's upset and worry about how the lie would affect another person or group.
All right. If you notice at the perspective of level four, there's no personal concern about how it might affect them. It's more about how it might affect the other person or persons that the lies being told about that the, the people that they're serving. When someone level four perpetuates a lie or tells a lie, it is to preserve and out of care and concern for the person that they're telling the lie to.
All right, because the truth may be hurtful or the truth wouldn't make things better for them in the long run. They're truly better off not knowing an example of this might be if [00:10:00] someone is on a deathbed, And they say, did you do something or I need this done. And the person at level four says, yes, it's done. It's taken care of you don't need to worry anymore. Okay. Or if there is something that the person asks or is worried about. And the person at level four will say something. It could be a lie, but it's the person who is receiving the lie. They could do nothing about the situation anyway. And so it's to relieve hurt it's to relieve worry it's to provide a sense of peace.
All right. And so if you notice the amounts and kinds of lies that are told throughout the level from level one and you're going to see as we go up to level seven, the amount of lying decreases the [00:11:00] quality of lying changes. All right. And so a person who is at level five at the fifth level of perception in regards to lying, there is little to no lying there.
There's more rationalization perspective shifting when they perceive that they're being told a lie, curiosity comes in. Okay. At level four, it was concern. Worry, how can I help this person? So the beginnings of curiosity, and now at level five, it is a full curiosity. Why might this person be lying?
You know, why, what is the reason behind it? How can we get to the truth so that we can both. Right. And when telling lies a person at level five generally does not lie. The truth is very important at level five. If there is anything like that, it might [00:12:00] be a lie of omission because the aspect might not be pertinent for the issues that they're dealing with at the moment.
So, so yeah, it's just omission .
With the level six level six is aware inspiration gets even bigger. Inspiration. Intuition comes alive at level six. There's a sense of oneness. I am me. I am you, you are me. Where a sense of oneness comes in at level six. And when it comes to perceiving that someone has lied to a person at level six, the response is pure curiosity.
All right. It's pure curiosity again. Why might they have told that lie? There's also some acceptance because everything at level six is there for a reason, serves a lesson provides opportunity. So. There's no judgment towards the other person it's pure curiosity, what [00:13:00] opportunities become available to us all in the face of the situation now by perceiving this lie where does this person not feel safe to tell the truth?
All right. And when it comes to a lying, a person at level six generally does not tell any lies. There may be some, a little bit of omission. There's a different perspective sharing, but there is no outright lying at level six. Little to none.
when we get to a level seven now level seven is kind of tricky because no one really fully resonates at level seven.
I mean, some maybe like Gandhi. If you follow the Christian Catholic religions, Jesus Christ, Mohammed with Islam... , these[00:14:00] are pure non-judgment we as humans, we tend to judge all right. That's how we survive. Right. And we tend to be quite judgmental creatures when we hit level seven. There is no judgment judgment.
As in regards to judging things as good or bad, I'm not judgment in regards to thinking and making decisions and that sort of thing. But in regards to good or bad in level seven, there's no judgment. Everything is, everything just is, as it is. There's no good. There's no bad. Everything's there's for a reason.
And there's a place of pure love, pure acceptance that happens at level seven. Holographic thinking is full on here. You get glimpses of the holographic thinking in level six holographic thinking is seeing hearing and expressing mind, [00:15:00] body emotions. Everything is in alignment and it is in a state of pure being.
But with level seven, there's really no such thing as a lie or a truth. Everything is there's pure, acceptance and love. And with level seven, you get to see beyond all of the other levels of energy, because the higher you are in the level of energy, the level of perspective, that means you get to see all of the lower perspectives.
Of energy. So in this case, when you're at the top with level seven, when you get glimpses and flashes of it, all right, this is a glimpses and flashes type of perspective. You get to see all of the lower levels of perspective. All right. Take into consideration that none of us are in any one of these levels all the time.
All right. It's like, people tend to think I'm a level six person. I [00:16:00] am pure intuition. None of us are all right. And we could be at any one of these or all of them at any point in the day, so that we could have a stressful experience and come at it with a level one. Something that scares us that makes us want to go clash against.
We could go into the level two. All right. So we could experience all seven of these throughout the day. All right. And so the, one of the reasons that I bring it up is that the more awareness you have of where you are and how you're experiencing a lie, it gives you more tools. You have all of the levels that you're below.
The one that you're currently at to use as a. All right, so I could talk forever on this, but because it is complex, but I think the next thing that I want to share with you just to give [00:17:00] you this, cause I gave you this primer of the seven different perspectives of lies, but now let me ask you, cause that was all very cognitive.
Now I want you to get into your body and think about how do you feel when you're telling a lie. You know, like psychopaths and sociopaths, they have very little empathy. And so telling a lie doesn't elicit any physiological or neurological changes, but in the majority of us, we experience neurological neurological physiological changes.
When we tell lies because telling lies is hard on our body, it creates a sense of anxiety and discomfort. Dishonesty puts our brain in a heightened state of alert. All right, because we have our, remember the story that we tell. It's so much easier to remember the truth because the truth is there.
It's always there in the [00:18:00] background and you know, it's the truth. And you know, the thing that you're, the story you're telling is not the truth. And you need to remember the story in case you need to tell the story again, right? So you don't get caught in a lie. So dishonesty telling lies, create stress in your body.
Why does it create that stress? Well, you know, we have reputations, we are social animals and we have reputations to maintain. Right. And so in our bodies or our respiratory system and heart rates increase we start to sweat, our mouth goes dry and our voice can shake. I think in NLP, the eyes go, you can track where the eyes go when somebody is recalling or when somebody is lying or thinking different eye positions can indicate whether or not somebody is lying.
And lying activates the limbic system and the [00:19:00] brain, which is responsible for the fight or flight response. That's triggered during stress and the gut brain axis. So if you're stressed about something, your gut, you know, you feel the butterflies in your gut and your stomach, and you feel the nerves in your gut.
And long-term lying is also associated with an array of negative health outcomes, including high blood pressure, increased heart rate vasoconstriction elevated stress hormones in the blood. All right. And because it affects your body. You can try to manage where you look and everything, but you're not going to catch the micro expressions.
You're less likely to catch how you're breathing. You might get shifty-eyed without thinking of it because you're not always aware. You're thinking you're trying to find the ideas or the story that you told. And [00:20:00] so those show up. Notice when I was talking earlier about how, when somebody perceives, they may not know that you told a lie or you may not know that somebody told you a lie, but you have a feeling a sixth sense that somebody might not be telling you the whole truth. You know, something's not right. Okay. It may not be because something, they said, cause it might make sense, but it doesn't feel right. There's something about their behavior and their interaction with you that you are picking up on.
All of these things come together and I'm not here to tell you to lie or to not lie because we're all going to lie. I'm not telling you to be angry or frustrated or forceful with anybody who's lying to you because everybody tells lies. All right.
But knowing what perspective you come to, [00:21:00] all right. What your dominant perspective is when you lie or you hear a lie or someone lies to you. It gives you more opportunities when you are aware of that. Okay.
One of the worst types of lies and here I, I used a judgment word, but you'll see why in a second, one of the worst types of lies are the ones we tell ourselves.
All right. They are one of the worst types of lies that we can tell are the ones to ourselves. Why do we do this to ourselves? Because there's some place within our body, whether it's our gut, our heart, our minds, that we know it's not true, no matter how many times we tell it, but it's our habit of, of saying this particular belief.
I'm not good at this, [00:22:00] or I like doing this or when instead, you know, that you don't like doing this task, you know, it's like you're talking yourself into something. There's no joy in it. There's no passion in it. Or saying that we believe something when we really don't, because in a way that's a form of gaslighting.
We're telling ourselves that we believe it when we really don't. We can use it as an affirmation and then reflect back to our body and say, oh my, you know, my I'm saying, I believe I'm a millionaire. And in my gut, my, my gut is telling me no, you're not. And so how can you shift that sense in your, in your abdomen, in your heart?
All right. And your sense of presence so that you feel as if you are abundant so that it aligns with what you say. All right. So it's when we say we believe something that we really don't, when we say we don't want something that we really do. [00:23:00] All right.
It's the lie we tell ourselves when we subconsciously believe, otherwise it eats away at us deep inside and it shows in our results. And when I say in your results, look around you, where do you live? What are the relationships in your life? Like what's your bank account look like? All right. What's a sense of freedom that you feel in your life.
All right. What are the relationships that you have? What are the quality of those relationships? All right. So there's no judgment on lying because we're all going to do it. We're all going to experience the lies, but it's how we allow the lies or the untruths or the omissions. To effect our inner energy. Okay. [00:24:00] So let me know what you took away from this. I would love to hear and have a wonderful day.
[00:24:10] Outro
[00:24:10] Trina: Next episode, I'll be starting the energetic perspective series. Each episode will be focused on one aspect of each of the seven levels of perspective and intention. Each of these levels determine our experience and outcome of how we move through life in business. First up will be level one, victim energy, and "I lose."
No one likes to be a victim, nor do they like to feel or think of themselves as one.
Those stuck in the victim energy pattern tend to feel like they have no choice.
Those of you who are doing mostly well or heck doing fantastic, still have some work to do. It can show up in serial success makers who are mostly working in their know and flow, [00:25:00] but still know that there is something more for them.
And they can struggle to integrate that know and flow into their lives. Or those who are working. Towards something that seems like it takes a step back for every step forward they take. Hey. Even if you know exactly what you need to do. But it's either not catching on. Or is exhausting you out of proportion to the perceived task.
You likely have subtle influences of this energy that prevents you from accessing opportunities that are right there in front of you. Hey human. Yeah, you. You have experienced this kind of low, energetic state. Even if it's just a small bit. And that small bit, will pull you out of alignment.
I'll be talking about how this victim energy also known as level one perspective, may show up for you. How to recognize it. And how to stop being at the effect of [00:26:00] it. And break the cycle. So you can clear out the subtle forces that are holding you back from the momentum and fulfillment. That was meant for you.
Stay tuned folks. You won't want to miss it.
[00:27:00] [00:28:00]
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How Travel Transformed My Entrepreneurial Journey
17 Mai 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
🔥 Have you ever gotten asked a question and then think at first you got nothing. only to realize that there's so much that it all wants to come out all at the same time?
🔥 Recently, I was asked about a personal and or professional story that helped me stand where I am today.
🔥 It's a story of how I learned to become truly fully alive, eyes wide, nostrils, flaring, fully awake, expansive, and filled with a deep mental, physical, and emotional peace... and informed my entrepreneurial journey.
Listen in to hear about:
What travel really isFeeling safe wherever I amExpanding self-awareness and choiceTurning off your default auto-pilotLiving a fulfilled purposeful lifeChoosing your "hard"Traditional paths aren't always saferTraveling "light"Entrepreneurship = Crash course in personal developmentCreating your personal Field Guide To Awesome
*****
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
*********
Would you like to be interviewed on the Field Guide To Awesome Podcast?
Are you a Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?
If so, I'd love to interview you!
Apply to be interviewed here on The Field Guide To Awesome podcast:
https://bit.ly/fg2aguestapplication
You can find me on social media:
Facebook Group: The Field Guide To Awesome Podcast Tribe
www.facebook.com/groups/thefieldguidetoawesomepodcasttribe/
The Field Guide To Awesome: Your Energetic Path To Flow free FB group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/fieldguidetoawesome
Transcript:
85 - FG2A - How travel has transformed my entrepreneurial journey
[00:00:00]
[00:00:00] Trina: Welcome back to the field guide to awesome [00:01:00] folks.
In my last episode, I spoke about emotional intelligence specifically on how to increase your EQ starting with a super simple 30-Second practice.
Highly successful entrepreneurial leaders tend to also have a higher than average EQ. So it's easy as busy visionary entrepreneurial leaders with many demands on your attention to get caught up in the busy-ness of business and to take your emotional intelligence for granted.
The problem happens when you are dealing with subtle stressors, like chronic tolerations and small frustrations. Or getting irritated at minor mistakes, whether made by you or someone on your team, a client or a vendor. Or Either dreading conversations or experiencing miscommunications or getting frustrated with team members for not delivering to your expectation. Or even noticing yourself [00:02:00] getting irritated at things you aren't usually irritated by. Then getting irritated at yourself for getting irritated in the first place. Or even noticing tiny mistakes or issues that slow your businesses. Momentum and give you that sinking exhaustion that has you girding your loins, ready to wade into fixing the things that should have been done right the first time. It's easy and common to have the thought of, well, that's the price of doing business. It doesn't have to feel that way though. Yes, mistakes and errors will happen.
And business will feel like work. And does require us to put in the effort. And we can't control anything outside of our own selves. But you don't have to feel like you're tolerating less than ideal and suffering through the process. There is a way to shift your own mental, emotional, and physical experience that can improve your results in your [00:03:00] business, get you better results from your team and give you a more fulfilling life as an entrepreneurial leader. I'm Sharing a simple 30-Second method. To increase your EQ to shift your mind, body and emotions so that you can start catching your mental, emotional, physical stress reaction either before it starts or before you get too deep into it.
If you missed it, make sure to go back and check it out.
but don't go yet, folks.
This week, I'm sharing a little story about how travel has transformed my entrepreneurial journey. As well as informed my resilience and self mastery coaching practice. I can't wait to share this with you. So stay tuned. It's coming up.
[00:03:42] Trina: Hey, Hey everybody. I'm going to share a personal story with you. Have you ever gotten asked a question and then think at first you got nothing only to realize that there's so much [00:04:00] that it all wants to come out all at the same time. Recently, I was asked about a personal and or professional story that helped me stand where I am today at first.
Yeah. Hi, drew a blank. There are so many moments. I remember that have formed me into who I am and inform me and drive my purpose. And I am overflowing with stories. So it's hard for me to pick out one single story, but one of the overarching stories of my life is my love of travel. Travel is for me, not just going on vacation, it's not a vacation.
It's not getting away from it all. It's not escaping from my day to day reality. To me travel is learning to be wherever I am. [00:05:00] It's immersing myself in being fully awake, aware, alive. It's learning that I'm safe wherever I am upon a re-entry quote, unquote, returning home to my normal life. I bring more and more of that into my daily experience.
I become more aware of my conditioned responses. Awareness increases the opportunity to choose how I want to show up differently when we're home. It's so easy to get lost in our default mode. Default mode is that state of being that is deep into autopilot and autopilot is grrreat for flying.
It's not so great for living a fulfilled and purposeful life. There was a day back in 1994, many moons ago. When I realized I'd been lost in my own personal autopilot, it felt like I was merely [00:06:00] surviving, traveling through a dark, foggy tunnel. When I looked backwards and looked forwards again, everything looked the same.
Gray washed out. No inspiration. I realized I didn't feel alive. It was at that moment, I knew something had to change and it had to be big. It had to be drastic. I hadn't heard the acronym BHAG yet, even though it was coined a couple of years earlier, but I had just had a glimpse of my first big, hairy, audacious goal.
I decided to backpack around great Britain for a couple of months. And this was way before I had access to the internet, mobile phones, digital cameras. All I had was a travel book called let's go great Britain, fabulous book, fabulous travel series. I planned for six months and I saved up enough to cover my [00:07:00] rent and car payments while I was gone.
And after buying my round trip ticket and my, Euro rail pass, I had $33 a day. I could spend on food, lodging and transportation. And at the time in pounds, it was 22 pounds a day. Not a lot of money. All while I planned and prepared, I told my family work mates and friends about what I was going to do. No one, one person, only one friend believed me.
No one else did family would laugh at me and tell me I wasn't going to go. That it was ridiculous. I remember looking at them with my head cocked to the side. Like a confused puppy and saying, don't you see every thing that I'm doing to get ready, look at all the things that I'm doing to prepare.
They continued to not believe [00:08:00] me up until the day I had to catch my flight from Boston to Heathrow. And I insisted that I needed a ride to the airport. My grandmother dropped me off at the bus station with a worried look and told me to give her a call.
If she needed to pick me up right back up, it was two months before I returned home and we saw each other again. It took a while years maybe before I understood what I was doing was so far beyond what those around me could imagine as possible that they couldn't see what was happening right in front of them.
And this was my first long-term solo travel experience. And I was hooked!. Again, and again, over the decades, I'd pack a bag, a small bag and travel for a month, two months or six months solo with a vague plan, my heart full of adventure, curiosity and [00:09:00] thrilled by the unknown. The more I flung myself into the unknown, the safer I'd feel I was building evidence that no matter what situation I was in, I'd be fine.
Whether it was exploring back alleys in Bangkok foraging for food and Hong Kong learning to live in Paris, Florence, Thailand, or Bali couch surfing in Singapore and Paris. I wouldn't even give up the hardships. I've had at least one cold or illness in each country. I've visited. I've defended myself from a pack of feral dogs and Costa Rica.
I had to brace worthy sprained ankles in Paris. I broke a tooth in Bali. Gosh, I thought that was a trip-ender. Thank goodness. Thank goodness. Only two instances of food poisoning. One of them was by eating the best Italian pizza from a Mexican restaurant in all of Southeast Asia, according to the sign [00:10:00] and thanks to the special ingredient food poisoning. I can now find a restroom wherever I go in the world.
I realized that I could choose my "hard". There will always be difficulties and hardships. Whether you stay in your comfort zone or you plot a path into the uncharted, choosing non-traditional paths can seem glamorous, fun, and exciting.
Some see leaving the traditional as giving up, taking the easier path. In actuality, forging your own path is also hard. If I had to choose between the "hard" of staying the same and the "hard" of growth, I choose growth. Every time I learned the less I carried the freer, I felt the more I let go of holding onto belongings or protective beliefs, because I might need them.
And allowed myself to release them and trust that whatever I needed would be there. My sense [00:11:00] of safety and freedom expanded. I learned that there are wonderful and amazing people everywhere. I learned to feel comfortable wherever I was. This kind of travel required me to open up my awareness. I learned to come out of myself and be very situationally aware.
I learned to turn off my autopilot and become more aware of my thoughts and my automatic reflexive responses. I learned I could choose how I felt. And that changed what I experienced each time I returned home transformed less afraid, more curious, my sense of adventure grew and I'm even more thrilled by the unknown.
I can still remember the first time I felt truly fully alive eyes, wide nostrils, flaring, fully awake, expansive, and filled with a deep mental, physical, and emotional peace. It felt like I was [00:12:00] flinging myself off a cliff with an almost painful joy, knowing that wherever I'd land would be awesome, truly awesome.
I wanted to feel that way as often as I could. So I embarked on the wildest trip of all entrepreneurship is perhaps the most profound journey anyone can undertake. The business side of things is essentially easy. You can find out how the, how to do anything online. The how to be part is the secret kicker.
We look up to those that consistently hit success after success and tend to think that it was easy for them, that they had a leg up that we didn't, that they didn't struggle. Their achievements seem so far beyond what we think we can accomplish. Sure. Some of these serial success makers had a leg up. And those that inspire me most have [00:13:00] started with nothing, either way, those that stay in the game and enjoy the process have had to transform themselves to become resilient, not just overcoming obstacles, but truly seeing obstacles as opportunities.
Entrepreneurship is a crash course in personal development and resilience. My podcast, isn't a travel journal, but it was inspired by my adventures. And the deep personal transformations I experienced life is an adventure. Entrepreneurship is a lifestyle of adventure on hyperdrive. Every weakness, every fear, every bit of self doubt is exposed.
The good thing is that once you see it, you can choose to accept it, decide how you want to be instead, and courageously traverse the space between as you embody your ideal self, then you get to do it again.
And again, it's a hell of a ride [00:14:00] and there's no one roadmap that holds you by the hand. Step-by-step that fits everyone. I use field guide in my show's name, because that's what we're all doing. Each for our own selves, we are creating our own personal field guide to awesome noting our vision and walking and running down our particular path, making fast decisions and when they work fantastic.
And when they don't give us what we expect. It's uncomfortable, but that's great too. Are unexpected results. Aren't failures, they're opportunities for us to grow. There are opportunities to see other paths. We take note of the results of our decisions. We ask other travelers on the road. What's ahead. We share our notes with those coming up from behind us and together we create a fuller, more informed experience.
We learn from our histories. We are all going someplace. We haven't been before [00:15:00] and we use both our experience and our vision of the future to inform ourselves because our point of power is in our present. So now it's your turn. I invite you to think back to a pivotal moment in your life that changed you fundamentally.
How did it change you? What became possible for you once you flipped that switch, what's your vision of your future and where in yourself do you need to expand your capacity to receive what your vision has in store for you? Remember your vision of your future is meant for you. You just need to expand your capacity to step into it.
[00:15:52] Outro
[00:15:52] Trina: Thank you so much for listening. So far I've shared over 80 interviews with experts and [00:16:00] visionaries about their struggles. Their triumphs and what they've learned along the way. And there are more to come. I'll also be sharing more insights with you on how you can expand your capacity to receive the connection, alignment, freedom, clarity, and fulfillment that you desire.
On that note. Lies. We hate 'em, sometimes we love them. We get lied to all the time. And we all tell them. Next episode, I'll be sharing seven different perspectives of lying that we all experience at some point or another. I'll share how to recognize them as well as the worst type of lie that we need to recognize ASAP.
And stop it before it causes any more damage. Stay tuned for next week. You won't want to miss it.
[00:17:00] [00:18:00]
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- Später hören Später hören
Increasing your Emotional Intelligence with The 30-Second Self Check-in Method
10 Mai 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
Highly successful entrepreneurial leaders tend to also have a higher than average EQ.
It's so easy as a busy visionary entrepreneurial leader, with many demands on your attention, to get caught up in the busy-ness of business, and take your emotional intelligence for granted.
When you are dealing with subtle stressors like:
chronic tolerations and small frustrations, orgetting irritated at minor mistakes, whether made by you, someone on your team, a client, or vendoreither dreading conversations or experiencing miscommunicationsor getting frustrated with team members not delivering to your expectationsor even noticing yourself getting irritated at things you aren't usually irritated by (then getting irritated at yourself for getting irritated in the first place.)or noticing tiny mistakes or issues that slow your business' momentum (and give you that sinking exhaustion that has you girding your loins, ready to wade into fixing the things that should have been done the right way the first time.)
It's easy - and common to have the thought of "well, that's the price of doing business." It doesn't have to feel that way, though.
Yes. Mistakes and errors will happen. Business will feel like "work" and does require us to put in effort. And we can't control anything outside of our own selves.
But you don't have to feel like you are tolerating less than ideal and suffering through the process. There is a way to shift your own mental, emotional, and physical experience that can improve your results in your business, get you better results from your team and give you a more fulfilling life as an entrepreneurial leader.
Listen in to learn a simple 30-second method to increase your EQ. To shift your mind, body and emotions, so that you can catch your mental/emotional/physical stress reaction either before it starts, or before you get too deep into it. Don't miss this!
Listen in to hear about:
What Emotional Intelligence is, and why you need to check yours.What's in your "cup"?The 3 step processHow often to practice
*****
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
*********
Would you like to be interviewed on the Field Guide To Awesome Podcast?
Are you a Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?
If so, I'd love to interview you!
Apply to be interviewed here on The Field Guide To Awesome podcast:
https://bit.ly/fg2aguestapplication
You can find me on social media:
Facebook Group: The Field Guide To Awesome Podcast Tribe
www.facebook.com/groups/thefieldguidetoawesomepodcasttribe/
The Field Guide To Awesome: Your Energetic Path To Flow free FB group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/fieldguidetoawesome

TRANSCRIPT
30-Second Self Check-in Method to Increase Your Emotional Intelligence
[00:00:00]
[00:00:56] Intro
[00:00:56] Trina: Welcome back to the field guide to awesome [00:01:00] folks. In my last episode, I spoke again with Koni Scavella.
Koni is a speaker, author and business and strategic advisor. For CEOs and entrepreneurs seeking a quantum leap in their lives and business simultaneously.
An entrepreneur for 17 years with degrees in theology and physics. She has worked with new startups, fortune five hundreds and Inc 500 companies in healthcare, real estate. Education sports, finance, oil and gas, retail ministry hospitality. Entertainment.
Big setbacks, including financial decisions gone wrong can brake entrepreneurs. But it doesn't have to be that way. Highly successful. Visionary entrepreneurs tend to exhibit not only more resiliency then their less successful counterparts. But also life outlook and professional habits that continually expand their capacity for resilience.[00:02:00]
That's why Connie and I continued our conversation. And this time we spoke about a 100 K loss dealing with betrayal and her turning point that took her from being burned by the industry to resiliently, committing to figuring it out.
[00:02:17] Trina: If you missed it, make sure to go back and check it out.
but don't go yet, folks.
Over the next few weeks, I have a combination of some more great interviews. And solo episodes.
This episode, is a special solo episode with me. On emotional intelligence specifically on how to increase your EQ starting with a super simple 30-Second practice.
Highly successful entrepreneurial leaders tend to also have a higher than average EEQ. So it's easy as busy visionary entrepreneurial leaders with many demands on your attention to get caught up in the busy-ness of [00:03:00] business and to take your emotional intelligence for granted.
The problem happens when you are dealing with subtle stressors, like chronic tolerations and small frustrations. Or getting irritated at minor mistakes, whether made by you or someone on your team, a client or a vendor. Or Either dreading conversations or experiencing miscommunications or getting frustrated with team members for not delivering to your expectation. Or even noticing yourself getting irritated at things you aren't usually irritated by. Then getting irritated at yourself for getting irritated in the first place. Or even noticing tiny mistakes or issues that slow your businesses. Momentum. And give you that sinking exhaustion that has you girding your loins, ready to wade into fixing the things that should have been done right the first time. It's easy and common to have the thought of, well, [00:04:00] that's the price of doing business. It doesn't have to feel that way though. Yes, mistakes and errors will happen.
And business will feel like work. And does require us to put in the effort. And we can't control anything outside of our own selves. But you don't have to feel like you're tolerating less than ideal and suffering through the process. There is a way to shift your own mental, emotional, and physical experience that can improve your results in your business, get you better results from your team and give you a more fulfilling life as an entrepreneurial leader. I'm Sharing a simple 30-Second method. To increase your EEQ to shift your mind, body and emotions so that you can start catching your mental, emotional, physical stress reaction either before it starts or before you get too deep into it.
I originally recorded it live and wasn't using my sweet, sweet [00:05:00] microphone. So the audio is a little rough, but the lesson is clear. And I hope you enjoy it. Let's jump in
[00:05:09] 30-Second Self Check-in Method
[00:05:09] Trina: Hey folks. Hey, how's everybody doing today? I'm sharing with you the 30-Second Self Check-in Method to increase emotional intelligence for visionary entrepreneurs. Okay. So why "EQ", why emotional intelligence, emotional intelligence helps you transform how you react in stressful situations. It also changes how you operate in your business and daily life.
. So what if you could reduce the amount of irritations and things that you tolerate? And improve the results that you get from your team. . Also how awesome would that be? . So the side effects include like better relationships in every aspect of your [00:06:00] life, as well as increasing your sense of fulfillment, you know?
And so that success actually feels like success, right? So do me a favor, if any of this resonates share how this is landing for you.
. Because I love getting that feedback and I love talking to you guys about this stuff. . So today, I, I was going through my daily practice well going through my day and just doing the things that I've always done and the things that I actually teach my clients to do, I walk my talk and I realized that I hadn't really spoken to you about it succinctly.
And so this episode is going to be relatively. So just as a reminder of this is Trina . I'm a transformational resilience coach and I help success, stalking visionary entrepreneurial leaders, [00:07:00] like you to regulate your nervous systems so that you can quiet your inner critic, prime yourself for flow.
And I'm talking neurological flow here, right? So that you can stop the overwork over-delivery overwhelm exhaustion cycle so that success can actually feel like success. And I'm also the host of the field guide to awesome podcast. And I interview multi-six and seven-figure entrepreneurs, and we dive into where they started the struggles they had along the way, and the unique way they think differently that's led to their current level of success.
And so again, today I'm talking about the 30-Second Self Check-in Method, that helps you increase your emotional intelligence. So let's jump in. So high EQ helps you transform how you react in stressful situations, and it also changes how you operate in your business in your daily [00:08:00] life. And so these are big claims, right?
They are. The big claims, but it's a simple process, this 30-Second Self Check-in Method,
and it only takes 30 seconds to do, but it's going to take just a few minutes to tell you about what it is, how to do it and why this is all important. Okay. So often we are operating by default, and reacting to life events as they arise. And so imagine you're walking with a cup , and it's full to the brim of liquid and you're walking through life and, and it's a crowded life. You've got a lot going on. You have a lot of things that you're doing and . A lot of people that you're talking to, and, and you're carrying this cup of liquid and somebody bumps into you, what falls out?[00:09:00]
Some people said, oh, it's coffee, coffee falls out. Oh, it's T T falls out, whatever falls out is whatever is in your cup. And so emotionally speaking, we are filled to the brim with emotions. We're filled to the brim with physical sensations. We're filled to the brim with thoughts, right? And so somebody bumps into you, the things that you are full of are going to spill out.
So if you're full of frustration, exhaustion. And somebody bumps into you. what do you respond with? . And that may not be your normal, but imagine back to a time when you were frustrated or you were irritated or you were over tired, or you had something else that was preying on your mind and a stressful event.
[00:10:00] Happens. Somebody bumps into you. Somebody says something that comes across as crappy. It wasn't their intention. Maybe it was, but we're not going to think about them. We're thinking about ourselves. All right. Somebody says something or you read something or you get a disappointing email. How do you respond?
What falls out of your cup? Let's build. And then think to a time when you were feeling good, right? Everything you are calm, you're happy. You are filled with the sense of peace and wonder you were full in your known and flow. Somebody bumps into you. What falls out, curiosity, maybe concern a willingness to help.
To listen, to hold the space. And so whatever you're [00:11:00] full of, that's what falls out. So how do we know what we're full of? And it can change moment to moment, hour to hour, day to day. Okay. So this 30-Second process is going to help you do that self check-in. So, you know, what's going on. And I'm going to share just the high overview right now.
And we'll, I'll do other lives in the future so that we can really dive into exploring that maybe at some point I'll do actually a meditation. . But , this 30-Second process is something that you can do anytime. . And so I'm going to walk you through it. Ready? It's going to be exciting.
It's also going to be super simple. Okay. So the first step is to pause for 30 seconds. And [00:12:00] during that 30 seconds, you're going to check in and say, ask yourself, what are the thoughts that I'm thinking? What is that thought?
What emotion am I feeling? Name the emotion,
and then what is going on in my body? What is my physical state? How does my body feel? So those are the three steps and it takes just 30 seconds to do just pause. I'm having this thought, oh, I feel this way. And this is how my body feels now. Oftentimes if the thought is not something that serves you in the direction that you want to go, because everything serves us, everything serves us to some degree or another.
But it's whether or [00:13:00] not that thought is something that we desire to think. . So what is that thought? Just observe it and accept it. What does that feeling? What is that emotion and what is that physical sensation? Don't go into this with the need to change it. And this is really important.
We don't do this process to change the thought, to change the emotion, to change the physical sensation, allow it to be as it is, just observe it. But the cool thing is that often when you have a thought , and you notice the emotion and you feel the physical sensation just by observing them, you'll notice that they start to shift a little.
. The observation is the catalyst. . And that just, and a [00:14:00] catalyst is something that happens and something else. It doesn't, you don't go to change something. You're not adding making a chemical reaction, but the mere presence of the observation tends to shift what you think, how you feel and your physical sensation, your physical.
Okay. Now you might wonder too, how often do I need to do this? Because look one 30-Second stint of checking in, you know, it's good for that 30 seconds for this next segment of your day, you know, to say, what am I feeling? And you have a better idea of like how you're going to react.
So how often.
As often as you need to. And in fact, the more often you do it, the faster that you're going to see a change. Now, some people might also think that [00:15:00] saving this process for when you're aware that you're thinking gremlin thoughts, limiting beliefs. Oh, I just had a limiting belief. . Or I'm feeling sad or I'm feeling exhausted at first.
That may be the trigger for you to say, oh, I'm going to do this 30-Second check-in okay. But the key to creating a longterm shift is doing this process regularly. When I work with clients, we co-create a process so that they can remind themselves of when they're going to do it. And it's mindfully making a choice.
And when we go about our day on default, we're just doing things and reacting to life as it happens. But when we take ourselves off default and act more mindfully, then [00:16:00] focusing. Choosing deliberately deciding to do this practice, you will notice there'll be times when you feel. What's my thought. Oh, I like that thought.
What's my emotion. Oh, I feel, I feel good. I feel happy what's my physical sensation wheww. I feel relaxed, open and. I'm aware. And you're going to have times like that. That is great. Okay. And then the next hour that you do it. Oh, I had a bad thought. No thoughts are good or bad, but I had a thought that didn't feel, or my emotions.
My emotion I'm sad. Or my physical sensation, I'm tired or I feel heavy or I feel pain in my body. Now I want to also give [00:17:00] you an example of a couple of times when I've done this for myself today. Earlier today, Wheww! I did a check-in and whew I felt a little sad. I started with my emotion this time.
I felt a little sad. What was the thought that went through my head? I, oh, I don't know if I have the energy to do this today. You know, I'm feeling a little pressured and then the physical sensation was when I checked in, it was like, I am legitimately tired. I'm legitimately low energy at this moment in time.
I didn't try to change it, but just by observing it, I could look at my physical sensation and see how it was informing my emotions and how my emotions were affecting how I thought. And when I realized why I was [00:18:00] tired. I went to a concert last night and didn't get home until very late. So no wonder I'm tired.
No wonder my physical energy is a little bit low. Right? And so when I reflected on that, it's like all of a sudden my emotions changed and I gave myself some compassion. Now, none of this did I do on purpose? It was just natural. That's why I'm tired, you know? Cause I went out and I had fun. So my, my emotions came up.
It's like, oh, I feel better. And then my thoughts were, it's like, yeah, I'm tired, but you know what? I can rally my energy. And there are things that I'm excited about doing today. . And that naturally changed. And then right before doing this live, I sat and did a self [00:19:00] in 30 seconds. I sat in and this time it went to my body were feeling some butterflies.
And then I looked at my emotions and I was like, Hmm, I'm a little nervous. And then I went to. Thoughts. It's like, oh, but I haven't gone live for so long. What are people gonna think? And just automatically things started to shift for me. Okay. It's shifted. Like all of a sudden the butterflies went away, the emotions, I just got excited about doing this live and my thoughts changed to, well, they're going to hear from me now.
Because this is something that I want to do and that I'm passionate about and that I love and that I enjoy. Okay. So those are just two moments that I wanted to share with you [00:20:00] of when I do this, but I do this self check-in quite often. . And one of the practices that I'm bringing back to myself as being more mindful of when I do these practices, because it has become second nature to me over the decades that I've been doing this work.
. So that's one of the things that I'm doing for myself. And I encourage you try out this 30-Second practice. What is the thought that I'm thinking. Name the emotion that you're feeling right now and check in on your physical state. How is your body feeling? 30 seconds.
Let me know if any of this resonated with you, if you're going to try out this practice or, Hey, if you've done this practice before. . And We'll talk to you later..
I'd love for you to [00:21:00] tune in next week. Folks, I'll be sharing a little story about how travel has transformed my entrepreneurial journey. As well as informed my resilience coaching practice. I can't wait to share this with you. So tune in next week
[00:22:00] [00:23:00]
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Koni Scavella, PhD: Overcoming financial loss & betrayal with Iconic Resilience
3 Mai 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
🔥 Big setbacks, including financial decisions gone wrong, can break entrepreneurs. But it doesn't have to be that way.
🔥 Highly successful visionary entrepreneurs tend to exhibit not only more resiliency than their less successful counterparts, but also life, outlook, and professional habits that continually expand their capacity for resilience.
🔥 That's why Koni and I are continuing our conversation. This time we're talking about a 100k loss, dealing with betrayal, and her turning point that took her from being burned by the industry to resiliently committing to figuring it out.
Listen in to find out about:What it means to be psychologically unemployableRemembering who she was againLeaving her multi-6 figure corporate jobTransitioning from corporate to working with entrepreneursSearching for mentors & MastermindsBelieving in herself enough to invest in a 100k famous-multi-mentor program...that evaporatedDealing with betrayal, humiliation, embarrassment, and immense loss of trustShe never lost the conviction that she could make a million dollars in a year.How learning what it felt like to be betrayed in that way taught her how she wanted to build her business going forwardThe turning point that took her from being burned by the industry to resiliently committing to figuring it outand so much more!Learn more about Koni:
Community: http://TheIconicEntrepreneur.com
Workshops: http://The7FigureWorkshop.com
Books: http://KoniScavella.com/SOAR
The SOAR Quiz: http://KoniScavella.com/quiz
Website: http://KoniScavella.com
Facebook: https://Facebook.com/KoniScavella
Linked In: https://Linkedin.com/in/KoniS
Instagram: https://Instagram.com/KoniScavella
YouTube: https://YouTube.com/KoniScavellaTV
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... AndGet a FREE Copy of the SOAR BOOK
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Save hundreds of hours of time and frustration with these ultra-simple methods to break free of your blocks.Gain instant clarity about your problems and the instant solution that will help you achieve your goals & dreamsAccess decades of proven tools, strategies and systems to help you elevate your mind and skyrocket your business in record-breaking time.Tap into the highest part of yourself and get 100% support along the way from our expert technologists.

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Transcript:
83 - Koni Scavella, PhD: Overcoming financial loss & betrayal with Iconic Resilience
[00:00:00]
[00:00:56] Intro
[00:00:56] Trina: welcome back to the field guide to awesome folks. In my last episode. [00:01:00] I spoke with Leslie Rochelle.
Leslie is a soul led leadership coach who supports new and emerging leaders to bridge the inner and outer connection with self. Cultivating the skills and confidence that support their foundational leadership platform. So they can powerfully claim their leader within. She's a wife, mama coach mentor, international bestselling author. And the founder of Leslie Rochelle coaching and consulting.
Companies love to promote new executive leaders up from their ranks. It reduces cost time to productivity and increases employee retention and team morale.
However research has shown that 40% of new executives fail within 18 months, whether it's the cultural fit, inability to build teamwork or they're unsure of their role as a new leader. So that's why I spoke with Leslie Rochelle about her leadership journey, as well as widely held [00:02:00] misconceptions and small shifts that can transform your leadership capacity.
Both of your sense of fulfillment and impact will skyrocket when you make these shifts.. If you missed it, make sure to go back and check it out.
but don't go yet, folks.
We're continuing our conversation. With. Koni Scavella.
Koni is a speaker, author and business and strategic advisor. For CEOs and entrepreneurs seeking a quantum leap in their lives and business simultaneously.
An entrepreneur for 17 years with degrees in theology and physics. She has worked with new startups, fortune five hundreds and Inc 500 companies in healthcare, real estate. Education sports, finance, oil and gas, retail ministry hospitality. Entertainment. And Connie, and I will be talking about becoming the difference maker reverse engineering, her success and niching [00:03:00] profitably. It can be so easy to take success for granted. - That is until your process stops working. That's why we're talking today with Koni Scavella about how she got her aha from experiencing failure after a string of successes.
Big setbacks, including financial decisions gone wrong. Ken brake entrepreneurs. But it doesn't have to be that way. Highly successful. Visionary entrepreneurs tend to exhibit not only more resiliency then their less successful counterparts. But also life outlook and professional habits that continually expand their capacity for resilience. That's why Connie and I are continuing our conversation. This time, we're talking about a 100 K loss dealing with betrayal and her turning point that took her from being burned by the industry to resiliently committing to figuring it out.
[00:03:59] Trina: Join me in [00:04:00] welcoming Koni. Scavella. .
[00:04:03] Interview
[00:04:03] Trina: So often we, we love talking about the successes
[00:04:07] Koni: Yeah. Hmm.
[00:04:10] Trina: they're fun and we love them, but we also need to take a look at the failures of when they happened and how they happened and what was going on doing that. The lessons learned because I feel like when we do that as well, there are people who are in it right now.
[00:04:36] Koni: MmmmHmm
[00:04:37] Trina: They're in those those points of failure right now. And when they hear and see how someone else overcame it and what became possible for them after it's like a Ray of hope and the stories become real and the possibilities become more real. And so are you comfortable [00:05:00] talking about some of the failures that you experienced in the past that you've overcome
[00:05:04] Koni: Absolutely.
[00:05:05] Trina: and what those were were like for you?
[00:05:08] Koni: Yeah, I'll give you two. Okay. And these were pivotal ones. They were huge for me. And I think a lot of people could probably relate to both of them. One is financial. One is emotional. All right. If we have enough time to do
[00:05:24] Trina: We have time.
[00:05:25] Koni: Okay. All right. And let me start with the financial one.
And so for me, I was here's something, a lot of people don't know is that over my career, like a lot of people, I I'm psychologically unemployable. I am a great employee. Right. All the way to the C-suite. I can do it all. I don't like it. I mean, there were so many times driving to my job, even though I know. Multiple six figures in jobs that I [00:06:00] sometimes I'd literally stop, pull over, throw up cry, wipe my mouth and go straight on.
Right. Because I hated it so much. And but I just kept going and I thought, well, that's all I can do. Then I finally remembered who I was again. I thought I'm going to go do my thing. I gave myself a an F-you date, the date that I'm going to go to the company and say, oh bye. Right. And I had it planned out..
I had the day I had how I was going to do it. I was going to come in late at night and had a prominent office. And I was going to come in late at night, clean everything out, and then they'd all walk in and oh, where is she? And I was so excited. I knew the date and then I decided do it early, right? The date was July [00:07:00] 4th. That was my independence day. And I thought, no, I can't take it anymore. And so I left in April, I got, I'm doing it, going back out on my own. I had, I had consulted with corporates, but what I really wanted to do is not have those chains in those boxes.
I had to fit in as a corporate consultant. I wanted to work with entrepreneurs. I love that. Like, somebody has a dream. It's like, get this out of me, help me make this grow. That's my passion. And I come from four generations of entrepreneurs. That's my thing. It just lights me up. So I'm like, I'm doing, I'm going.
I left a extremely high paying position. But I knew I smart. I can do it. I've had my own companies, no big deal. I hadn't done this. And this was in not too long ago. Early 20, 19 yeah, early
[00:07:51] Trina: So not long at all.
[00:07:53] Koni: No, no. And I had extreme success consulting. Right. But not in this venue with entrepreneurs [00:08:00] exclusively.
And so I thought this is it. This is easy. I'm going to go out and do this, but I know I've always succeeded. Well at look, why do I succeed? Always had good mentors. So you know how to, as we see all of these options, it wasn't so bad at this time to hit different masterminds and things like that. And I had attended a lot of them trying to get out and do it on my own, but I never did.
And I was at that job. For four years, I said, I'm, I'm building
[00:08:32] Trina: a long time. It feels like a long
time.
[00:08:35] Koni: It felt like 20,
[00:08:37] Trina: Yeah.
[00:08:38] Koni: but here's the lie. This is what made me like that self hatred, right. That just like, I'm lying to myself. And I kept saying, well, when I make on my business, what I make in my job I'll walk away. But that was a false safety net.
Right. And so I kept that up because I was [00:09:00] super successful at my work. And then the more successful, I put more time into it and less into the other and it became this the cycle. Okay. It really was a cycle of doom and gloom. And so I finally do leave and I start out and I go to this event and I had kind of planned out who my mentors were going to be.
It just so happened that three of the candidates were all coming into this one big event. And it w big event downtown. And there were 12 of the big gurus. Right. All of the names everybody knows, and this is amazing. And so I go to this event and I come in as a guest for one, for one of the people. So it was nice.
I didn't even have to pay and they all come up and they give their spiel. And there's 10 of. Amazing. I'm like, wow. And of course, you know, the pitch is coming and at the end, they're all specialists in different areas. It could be video and [00:10:00] email and, and coaching and hiring and training and all these things, internet.
And you're like, gosh, which one do I pick? You know, when they say here's our offer, we're all coming together. And we're all going to be your coach in one group. And I thought, oh, this is perfect. They all know what they're teaching me. This is everything unified. This is exactly what I want. And then they tell us the price and it's a hundred thousand dollars.
[00:10:29] Trina: Holy moly. Yeah.
[00:10:31] Koni: I'm like, well, you know, I guess you paid $10,000 anyway, a person over time. And so I, you know, I'm doing this check with my family. What do you think? They're like, absolutely not. Don't do this. I'm like, you, you know, come on, it's my turn, I'm fighting for this. Right. And so they offer financing and okay.
I've great credit. I do the financing thing, but this so happens to be at the same time that my mother is actually dying. [00:11:00] And so I'm going back and forth across country, up time with her trying to do this thing and I fly over there and then I'm supposed to have my orientation call. I sign up and I have a 15 minute call now.
Oh, we need to reschedule it for next week, which is fine. And that was the end. Never heard from anything. I was devastated. That was a hundred thousand dollars. I was on a loan for, and I had no business. I not working. Nobody, they all scattered like termites. As I try to find this, all of these famous people, if I, it everyone's jaw would drop.
If I named them all and they're still out there and nobody would help me. It was the me, the main person who did this whole charade and there was four or five of us that fell into [00:12:00] this and it was awful. And I worked and worked and tried, and I begged, I risked exposing that I didn't care at this point.
Right. I was going to put all their names out there. Bottom line, I was so hurt. I was hurt. And have you ever been
[00:12:19] Trina: like such a betrayal of trust.
[00:12:22] Koni: it's betrayal. My mentor, Dr. David Hawkins would say, that's the equivalent of a spiritual rape, where everything you put your faith into is stripped away and you don't know who to trust.
If that was the best of the best all together. And they do that, what's going to happen next. And it made me so angry because I locked up my heart. I didn't want to trust, and then I didn't even want to be in this business. I didn't want to have anything to do with it. And it took a long time. One person gave me a portion of his money back. They didn't all get paid either. They all got paid some, but not all of it. And that was [00:13:00] it. And I was humiliated. I was embarrassed. I had to go back to my family and say, I know, you know, you were right. I'm an idiot. And, but I didn't stop. I'm like, but that was what I wanted. Right. I wanted that.
And I never got the money
[00:13:16] Trina: And you trusted yourself enough in the moment
[00:13:19] Koni: Yep.
[00:13:19] Trina: to go all in, to go all in
[00:13:23] Koni: I knew I can. Yeah. And I knew I could make a million dollars in a year. That was the deal. Right. Of course I can, if I have all that, I can do that. So this was everything I wanted. And then it was all taken away and I was like, huh. So it took a little, a few months to recover from that.
But it became the silver lining because. I understood the betrayal. I understood a really dark side of this industry that I had no understanding of how slimy and sleazy and how many liars [00:14:00] and cheats there are out there. And I got behind the scenes and I saw these businesses that said they were so amazing.
They were shell games. And I was like, wow, I would never ever want somebody to feel what I felt that actually became the silver lining. And that that's when I decided to put my business together. So what do I want to do? I said, I want to do exactly what I wanted there. Right? I want to give everybody everything they need to have a business, not these little pieces and parts, you know, and hacks and tricks. A whole business, a whole business. And so eventually that became a blessing, right? Because I thought, how do I make a whole business and take people to a million dollars in a year? And that's my business now, but I don't think it would happen if I didn't fall so hard.
Right. At the same time. That is during that time, my mom passed who was like my best friend, my whole
[00:14:57] Trina: I'm so sorry for your loss.
[00:14:59] Koni: Thank you. [00:15:00] She's she was angelic. She was like I always say she was a combination of mother Theresa Jackie. Oh. With all her style and grace and she looked like Meryl Streep. So put all that together.
And I was absolutely blessed in a world where people are like, oh, I'll take your parents. Right.
[00:15:16] Trina: Yeah.
[00:15:18] Koni: So, and that goes a long way. Right. A lot of people don't have that benefit. I was very, very, very blessed to have that upbringing. And so that was. I thought that was my lowest of lows. Right. The money is gone.
The job is gone. My trust is gone. My faith has gone. Now. I don't even know what I want to do. Like that was what I wanted to do now. I don't even want to touch it. So
[00:15:44] Trina: what was that? What was the turning point that took you from that place of, you know, you just felt so burned, burned by the industry to heck with it. I'm going to do what I want to do [00:16:00] and figure it out. What was that?
[00:16:03] Koni: yeah, I'd love to say it just happened like the next week, but I was like dumb a couple more times.
[00:16:09] Trina: Yeah.
[00:16:11] Koni: And so, because I was still an open wound. Right. You know, they say until you heal from something, you don't really have the ability to not keep attracting it. And so I kept attracting. The same thing. I found it this time, I thought, well, I'm not going to do that.
I'm smart. I'll get a separate coach and this and a separate coach in this. I hired each coach, $20,000 a piece. I went backwards, $120,000. I'm a straight a student. I have a PhD in advanced, theoretical physics. I did everything they said to the letter and I went backwards $120,000. I could not understand.
I am just bleeding, bloody everywhere. And then yet to the world, I have to look like I got it together right [00:17:00] together.
[00:17:01] Trina: an important point, right there is you're going through struggling and trying to put on a fresh face to the rest of the world, like a fro a false front saying I'm doing great. And when really you're struggling.
[00:17:18] Koni: Huh. Huh.
[00:17:20] Trina: And so what kind of job does that do on your psyche, on your emotions?
[00:17:25] Koni: makes it impossible to attract anybody. Right. Because I don't feel worthy of, even though I know I'm great at what I do, I just didn't feel worthy if I can't make right decisions. What is going on? The other thing that happened was as I was looking at, why, why am I keep doing this? And I realized the golden key on all of it was yes, I needed mentors.
I've always had mentors my whole life, and that was vital. But this time I was looking at them [00:18:00] incorrectly, I was looking at these people as savior. Right as idols. And I thought I know nothing about this, just because I hadn't taken my business online in coaching. I'd done it and finance and other things.
I hadn't done it online in coaching. I hadn't done it with the entrepreneur. I'm thinking based on everything they tell me it's so different. It's not right. It's humans wanting a goal, but I believed them so much that I took all of my self-worth and put it on them. And it made me empty. Right. Because I took everything that I was, gave it to them and I was left with nothing.
And once they take that, I'm a shell. Right. And then I feel like a fraud. So it was hard. It was the hard year, hard, hard, hard year. And then it was at December that 2019, all of this happened very quickly. And then I looked up and it was November. It was almost Thanksgiving. I'm like, no way. I'm [00:19:00] not going to end the year.
And the red, I'm not going to have a losing year. I've never done it my whole life. I am not going to do it. And then I just stopped everything. Just basically threw everything out and said, okay, CA I've been a winner in everything. Right. And then you have to start accumulating your wins. Okay. Did this? I
[00:19:22] Trina: And trusting your wins because I think one of the challenges that a lot of people who are, who struggle with imposter syndrome is they have a whole series of wins, but they look back at them and think, oh, well, I was lucky. Or I snuck by, you know, somehow I got that. They, they didn't realize that I wasn't worthy enough for it.
[00:19:47] Koni: right.
[00:19:48] Trina: So it's looking at your past accomplishments and really feeling them as an accomplishment.
[00:19:56] Koni: And being totally self focused in a healthy [00:20:00] way, because you know, it's not what other people look at me as, or how they think of me or people would say, oh, well, you modeled it. Oh, you were in the C-suite and oh, you did all of
[00:20:11] Trina: Oh, it was easy for you.
[00:20:13] Koni: Right. Let me tell you it's the hardest job. Believe it or not ever was the modeling because you aren't put down for your skills or your talent.
You're put down, you're denied for something. You can't do anything about you can't change it. Nope. We wanted someone five, nine and a half. Nope. We need size seven shoe. No no freckles. No, we want freckles. Now only one dimple. I mean, It was like, oh, you're 108 pounds. Nope. We need someone 105 O M G.
Right. And you think, wow, you have this great life. No, that was the hardest, hardest thing. And you go on 10, 15 you know, go seas. It's like going on 10 job applications, you know, interviews a day and they say, no, no, no, no, [00:21:00] no, no, no. And then you wake up the
[00:21:01] Trina: How many times can you hear? No, and feel good about yourself and the answer is one or a million and have it not care. And you just show up and be yourself and show up authentically unapologetically.
[00:21:20] Koni: exactly. In order to make it in all of those places. Right. I'm at all these different levels. Is I had to stop treating it as me and start treating it as a business. Then I made it 10 years and modeling is because I treated myself as a business. I was a product, right? Yes. I was like a slab of meat on a hook going through.
But that was the business. And I learned to market that brand rather than make it about me. Again, I had great mentors guiding me from, you know, 14 years old. Thank [00:22:00] goodness, you know, and I didn't go down the wrong path with the drugs and the drinking and all of that. But when I understood it was a business, that's why it became something that made millions.
[00:22:11] Trina: Yeah, and it is true. I think it's true for many entrepreneurs. I think it's more so true for coaches because of the industry of coaching. We are quote unquote, selling ourselves. We're selling our philosophy, we're selling our coaching. But also because we believe so strongly in what we do. We are very immeshed in it.
We're very attached to it. And so it's very easy to conflate our business and what we do with who we are and our value as a person.
[00:22:55] Koni: Absolutely absolutely. In in
[00:22:58] Trina: a blessing that you [00:23:00] learned, learned that early on.
[00:23:02] Koni: you know, it's so funny. I wrote a book about the whole process. And that was part of the, the 12 years of studying predictable human behavior and human consciousness. And the second step in the whole process is the, oh, and the letter sore. That's the name of the bookstore. And in that, oh, is one of the most devastating things that happens to people and that, oh, as far as the behavior that brings us down and there's an antidote of course, but the, oh is what we call outsourcing.
And if I looked back, that's the thing that I kept doing. I kept just like a company would outsource their labor to overseas and maybe China or Taiwan or something like. We outsource our behaviors, our feelings we outsource for validation and approval, others comparison, or was it Roosevelt said, comparison is the thief of [00:24:00] all joy.
So by doing that, it, it destroys us. Right. And it happens all the time. Usually when we talked about first thing in the morning, right. What is that first thought? Well, how many people, the first thought is reach over, grab your phone, scroll, social media, and that determines your day. And you can't compare to everyone's a side because it's not even real anyway.
And so outsourcing. It's a huge issue. It's the problem with where we are in a society where we have all been compelled to stay home, go online, and then not be social where you can actually pick up what people are really like and that intimacy and the energy of them. But all we get is a one dimensional scene of that.
And then we share that and there's no way you can compare a three or four dimensional human being to a one [00:25:00] dimensional facade on a computer screen.
[00:25:04] Trina: Well, social media is so much of people showing their bright and shiny, and it's kind of like, The lockdown has shown us is that, we're all on zoom now. So we're all pretty from, the chest up and business on the top party on the bottom.
And the same thing is true. I think for much in the way of associate social media still. And so we're comparing our messy back-end with everybody's shiny front end.
[00:25:34] Koni: Yeah, absolutely. And it led to this whole cookie cutter environment. Right. And people are like, oh, well this is what's new. This is what's current. I'm going to do this. And especially in the space of now everyone's told, oh, just be a coach. Everyone can just be a coach. You knew something. You knew how to tie your shoes.
You should be the expert coach at shoe tying. Wow. [00:26:00] And you'll make a million dollars at it in your
[00:26:02] Trina: Oh my God. Yes. Yes. I think it's, it's been a disservice
[00:26:07] Koni: Yes.
[00:26:08] Trina: out there because it comes across as building a coaching business is easy and you were perfectly qualified to be a coach. Now I have certifications. I have training to be a coach, but I've also had very good coaches who haven't been classically trained as a coach.
The difference is they've had experience and, and not just doing the thing that I want to do because coaching isn't teaching coaching is taking people into learning more about themselves and really creating a process that they can follow on their own. Because as a coach where we're working to working ourselves out of a job, that's the goal of it kind of like consulting.
You know, you're not always going to be there. You want to set people up for success.[00:27:00] But there is quite a big industry out there to turn everyone who is sick of their job into a coach.
[00:27:10] Koni: Yes. The, the whole knowledge wave and expert a wave.
[00:27:14] Trina: And it's not coaching it's teaching, you're teaching people how to do things. Hmm.
[00:27:18] Koni: yeah, exactly. And, and I think it's, you know, everybody has that space. I love that. Right. This is one of the things that, that makes people excellent is you've got find your snowflake. What does that one thing right. Makes you so different from everybody. And that you can be unique and you can focus on that.
Why is that important? Because you're singularly focused on the one thing. And when you're focusing on one thing, just like when we were kids, we take the piece of glass over the grass, right. And the light shine, the sun into it, that kind of focused energy would make it burn. It would [00:28:00] light it up. Right.
And so there's. A good aspect of that. Right. And then focus on what you know, but there's a broader aspect on that is the whole one hit wonder thing. So, you know, one thing, and you just became the expert, so to speak because of a fad of the marketplace. But what happens afterwards, what you can predict.
And I always see, like, I always like to know what's the history behind somebody and, and there should be a buyers formula for people out there to know how do you find the right coach, but how do you become that person that is the right person for everybody. And you want to make sure that number one, are they an expert at what they do or have they just come from being a digital marketing agency and then they decide.
Oh, I'm a blogger. And now today I'm a Bitcoin expert or whatever. Okay. And just following the trends or do they have a history of excellence in what they do, but also [00:29:00] excellence in everything? Have they been an expert at multiple fields? Do they have what's called in, in the forest of requisite variety.
Right. So if you look at the greatest animal in the jungle, it's the one that has the most variety of skills and can do the most things, you know, hence the lion. So is it that kind of a person that they can do everything and you know, also the aspects of you know, in, in business, they say you want to find some, you have an option of getting something done for you done with you or done by you.
[00:29:30] Trina: Yes.
[00:29:31] Koni: And it's the same thing with being an expert coach. What aspects of you? Can you be that mentor in like, I've been there, I've done that before, right. And you can guide them. So when I was in the racing field, right, the driver would always have his helmet wired and the crew chief would be there, but we would also plot spotters around the track.
Right. So we could say, Hey, on turn three, there is an accident. Or, you know, [00:30:00] turn five is wet. Oh, the chicane you know, watch out and, you know, there's, there's too much tired tread on the track. So go inward. Right. And you have somebody who can spot ahead of where you're trying to go and have that mentor capability.
And then the consultant is the one that says, do this press on the gas, harder, let up on the brake here, don't do this right. And tells you exactly what to do. And then the coach is the one that says, great job, speed it up, man. You're doing awesome. Right. So how can you take all of those, the coach, the mentor, and the consultant and bring it into what you do, because that's what people are really looking for.
They're not just looking for, they want the whole skeleton, they just don't want the shinbone and the shoulder blade and the, you know, and the thoracic, you know?
[00:30:50] Trina: for a real solution.
[00:30:51] Koni: Exactly. And, and so having that whole thing, we call it ease and plastic. That's my favorite word. I have you, are you familiar with [00:31:00] that word?
It's an old, old English word is in plastic means one who has the ability to unite disparate parts into one unified whole. And that is what we'd like to look at as a business, right? Can we offer all these different parts of a business in one. Can you offer in yourself all of the different things that somebody would need for that problem that they're trying to solve in one place?
Or do they have to get this from you and this from somebody else in this, from somebody else and then need four or five different coaches. Right. So how can you be ease and plastic in your business?
[00:31:40] Trina: And that might even be, and you can correct me if you're taking in a different direction. But if you are the mindset expert, and then you have someone who is the copywriting expert, and then you have someone who you have a team supports, but all in one place.[00:32:00]
[00:32:00] Koni: And have it unified, right? Because if you, sometimes you can't right. And you can't get them, but do they at least have the same philosophy and are they of the same you know, direction that they're trying to go? Some people say, oh no, you have to do ads right away, for example. And then some people will say, Nope, don't do ads until you're making 10 to $15,000 a month.
Well, which one is it? Okay. So it still has to be in that unified field. We call it a biosphere, right? A sphere of life, all of these things have to be in and to make your business come alive. And so what's in your biosphere that will make you different. So you can stand out from everybody else, not be cookie cutter.
And once you can distinguish yourself as that, then you can disrupt the more. And then you can dominate it and that's it. That's the three steps, right? So that's how you can take what you do, but the way you do all that and not worry [00:33:00] about imposter syndrome is so easy. You just be better than you say you are.
Imposter syndrome is saying your better than you are okay. And to kill imposter syndrome is just be better than you say, which means inherently. You're going to be a lot more humble than all the hubris out there.
[00:33:24] Trina: Yeah. And oftentimes you are better than you say,
[00:33:28] Koni: Exactly.
[00:33:29] Trina: if you have a history of success, you are probably better than you think you are likely and as entrepreneurs. And I think you really illustrated that in your story of how you you've evolved as an entrepreneur, is that when you get into something that you've not done before, you're learning about it, you're starting a business on it.
You know, you don't know everything about it. You are an imposter, you are embodying your inner [00:34:00] imposter. And so I also think with being an entrepreneur, when you're creating something that hasn't been created before, or at least not be created by you. You have to be forward thinking when you also talk about disrupting the market, you have to do something that hasn't been done before, but you have the vision of it.
And so if you feel like you're a little bit of an imposter, good, because you're doing it right. You're doing it right.
[00:34:31] Koni: Yeah, absolutely. And, and entrepreneurship is just hard. It is anyone who tells differently is probably the imposter and it's all in the context. Okay. So if we are an entrepreneur we are always going to be entering into new territory. And you can't know the territory until you're in there. Right? Someone once told me in my professional career, as I was leaving, I was like, gosh, [00:35:00] how do you ever, do you ever feel like good enough for that job?
She goes, no, you don't know that job until you leave it. And it was so true every time I left or was fired 18 times get it. I was like, oh, I know what that should have been. I know how that looked. And every other time I was better and every single change, you know, 18 firings and, you know, five multimillion dollar companies, every single one, I was better and better and better because I took with me and I learned from each one of those.
But if you just do it and you don't learn or you're hiding it, or you're playing small, or you're not willing to fall down. And get up and get up and get up. Then you won't make it. You'll be operating from what we call reversion and living in the past. Well, that didn't work before, or it's always been that way or
[00:35:58] Trina: we'll always be that way going [00:36:00] forward.
[00:36:00] Koni: yes.
Yes.
[00:36:02] Trina: Some of the characteristics that I see again and again in highly successful entrepreneurs, such as yourself, is you define failure differently. You respond to failure differently. You expect failures to happen. And it seems as if you ha you have a very different physiological experience of failure, how true do you find that to be for yourself and in your experience?
[00:36:36] Koni: You nailed it. You absolutely. Now that, to me, I've never failed. Right. The only time I would fail is if I'm giving up and like throw it out, but it's feedback. And I used to date a pilot and so he failed his, his check ride. You know, where you have to go and, and you know, prove that you can actually fly your 7 37.
[00:37:00] He failed it. And so he had to stay behind. And so every night, just to get good, he'd go in at, like from 11, till about three in the morning and go into United. Go on, on the simulator. And so I'm like, let me come with you. And he's like, okay, I'll sneak you in. Right. Totally illegal. And so I'm in there and I'm, and what I had to do while he was trying to fly, I'd have to throw up all these obstacles.
Okay. Here's wind. Here's when shear here's fog, here's rain. Hey, your, your engine went out a bird winning. I mean, I'd have to flip all these switches and make all these things happen to try and get them to fail. And he just had to respond and, and make sure he could get through them all. So, he passed, but then I said, okay, he goes, you do it now, you fly.
I'm like, really? And so I'm in this cockpit of a 7 37 simulator and I'm like, oh, I'm so nervous. He goes, no, actually the takeoff is more [00:38:00] dangerous than the landing and that's true in entrepreneurship, isn't it, as we're trying to take off, that's where all the things happen. Right. And so I'm doing, I think I'm going along and then he starts hitting all these buttons and all these things pop out at me and like, oh wait, whoa, what did he say I have to do on this and or this?
And then there was this programming, right? As all these things, my, my jet is about to crash. And then the overhead announcement comes up, pull up, pull up, pull up, right, pull up, pull up, pull up. And. It's so true in running a business. Right? All these things are coming at you planned and unplanned. And if I crash right it's because I didn't follow the command to pull up.
How do I look from a higher perspective? And don't go down with it, pull up. Okay. Let me get a different vantage point. What else can I do? What else can I do? Right. [00:39:00] As long as I'm still in the air. I'm
[00:39:02] Trina: And listening to the messages that your body is telling you to pull the heck up
[00:39:07] Koni: Yes.
[00:39:08] Trina: down, maybe stop for a second, figure out what's going on.
[00:39:12] Koni: What's your bearings, right?
[00:39:14] Trina: Slow down to speed up.
[00:39:15] Koni: Right. Absolutely. Absolutely. So I just think there's so much in life that we can learn from as entrepreneurs and coaches. And when we think it's failure, it's not, it's just feedback. Right. And every time he'd flip a switch, it was just feedback. It didn't mean, oh, you're done.
No, I wasn't done. I just got feedback. A warning sign came on. Oh, okay. Now it's time to course correct. And so it's never really failure. It's how do you look at it? How do you respond to it? Are you a student? Is this like a scavenger hunt? Okay. Well, where can I find the answer? I mean, that's how you have to look at it.
And if you don't have that kind of mindset, if you have more of a doom and gloom kind of mindset, it's [00:40:00] changeable, right.
[00:40:00] Trina: It's changeable.
[00:40:01] Koni: completely changeable and
[00:40:03] Trina: just have to decide, you just have to decide.
[00:40:07] Koni: Exactly.
[00:40:08] Trina: Koni, thank you so much for such a long, beautiful conversation. What do you have exciting coming up in the next 12, 24 months?
[00:40:19] Koni: Oh, I, I am so excited all the time. So a couple of things. And so because I believe so much in people being their unique self every oh, about every two months I teach a free workshop called the celebrity factor where you actually take yourself and up your celebrity factor, not the influencer side of things.
That is not at all what we're talking about, but we're talking about being iconic thinking of those, you know, the Audrey Hepburn's and the, the classic black and white. Looks, you know, even the Jackie Kennedy-esk type of [00:41:00] things that you see and they have such longevity and, and there are classics and you
[00:41:08] Trina: The difference between style and fads
[00:41:11] Koni: yes, yes.
And the Coco Chanel. Right. So that aspect of it, where, you know, you can say something and everybody almost gets that same picture. And to boost that because that's how your business stays, right? Otherwise you are a fad and you're just hopping from platform to platform. And so it's important to be independent of the market and the platforms, but to be your own icon.
So, I do that five, six times a year, and then I do have a new book coming out. I've written two so far soar and the power of her wish. And then the new book is called beyond mindset. And it's really. About a lot of these principles that we talked about, how do you go beyond not the fixed and the growth mindset and your positive or your negative.
It's about really elevating your whole [00:42:00] consciousness and into whole different field where the miraculous happens all the time. And when you have that level and you elevate your mind, your business will skyrocket as well.
[00:42:14] Trina: Brilliant. And listeners, those links will be in the show notes,
[00:42:18] Koni: yes.
[00:42:21] Trina: Koni, It has been an absolute pleasure and honor talking with you today.
[00:42:26] Koni: Thank you so much for the invitation and I wish you, well,
[00:42:30] Trina: thank you. Thank you. Thank you again, Koni.
[00:42:35] Koni: My pleasure.
[00:42:35] Outro
Hey folks. Over the next few weeks, I have a combination of some more great interviews. And solo episodes. Next week is a special solo episode with me. On emotional intelligence specifically on how to increase your EEQ starting with a super simple 30-Second practice.
Highly successful [00:43:00] entrepreneurial leaders tend to also have a higher than average EEQ. So it's easy as busy visionary entrepreneurial leaders with many demands on your attention to get caught up in the busy-ness of business and to take your emotional intelligence for granted.
The problem happens when you are dealing with subtle stressors, like chronic tolerations and small frustrations. Or getting irritated at minor mistakes, whether made by you or someone on your team, a client or a vendor. Or Either dreading conversations or experiencing miscommunications or getting frustrated with team members for not delivering to your expectation. Or even noticing yourself getting irritated at things you aren't usually irritated by. Then getting irritated at yourself for getting irritated in the first place. Or even noticing tiny mistakes or issues that slow your [00:44:00] businesses. Momentum. And give you that sinking exhaustion that has you girding your loins, ready to wade into fixing the things that should have been done right the first time. It's easy and common to have the thought of, well, that's the price of doing business. It doesn't have to feel that way though. Yes, mistakes and errors will happen.
And business will feel like work. And does require us to put in the effort. And we can't control anything outside of our own selves. But you don't have to feel like you're tolerating less than ideal and suffering through the process. There is a way to shift your own mental, emotional, and physical experience that can improve your results in your business, get you better results from your team and give you a more fulfilling life as an entrepreneurial leader. Next week I'll be sharing a simple 30-Second method. To increase your EEQ to [00:45:00] shift your mind, body and emotions so that you can start catching your mental, emotional, physical stress reaction either before it starts or before you get too deep into it.
Stay tuned folks. You don't want to miss this.
[00:46:00]
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LESLIE ROCHELL: Revealing Your Leader Within
26 Apr 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
🔥 Companies love to promote new executive leaders up from their ranks - it reduces costs, time to productivity, and increases employee retention and team morale.
🔥 However, research shows that 40% of new executives fail within 18 months, whether it's the cultural fit, inability to build teamwork, or unsure of their role as a new leader.
🔥 So That's why I'm talking with Leslie Rochelle about her leadership journey, as well as widely held misconceptions, and small shifts that can transform your leadership capacity. Both your sense of fulfillment and impact will skyrocket when you make these shifts.
🔥 Leslie Rochelle, soul-led leadership coach, who supports new and emerging leaders to bridge the inner & outer connection with self cultivating the skills & confidence that support their foundational leadership platform so they can powerfully claim their leader within.
She is a wife, momma, coach, mentor, international best-selling author and the founder of Leslie Rochelle Coaching & Consulting.
Listen in to find out about:How she got started in her first big leadership roleMisconceptions regarding leadershipWhy it's hard for leaders to ask for helpThe signs that you need to do more self-discovery to become an even better leaderKeys to leading a more satisfied and engaged teamThe foundations of creating great teamsGetting curious about what is/isn't working, instead of "pointing the finger" at what isn't.Your job, as a leader, is to lead - not to know everythingInclusively sourcing solutions and creating a common sense of purposeIdentifying your needs, wants & desires allow you to be aware of them, and open up to the possibilities of what can beLeaders promote the diversity of thought that invite other perspectivesHaving courageous conversationsThe thing you need to pay attention to prevent subtle, but damaging, sabotage of your teamHow to allow everyone their "say" before you share your's to promote buy-inand so much more!

Find out more about Leslie:LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/leslie-rochelleInstagram: @theleslierochelleFacebook Profile: https://www.facebook.com/leslie.tremblay.14

Free gift for listeners:
www.Leslierochelle.com
10% discount on any SERVICE. Please use the contact form on the website to request your special discount code referencing this podcast.

*****
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success

Book a call with me.

We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
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TRANSCRIPT:
82 - LESLIE ROCHELL: Revealing Your Leader Within
[00:00:00]
[00:00:00] Trina: welcome back to the field guide to awesome folks. In my last episode. [00:01:00] I spoke with Sarah Stokes an award-winning strategist who scaled successful businesses to multiple millions. She's just founded the aligned business collective. A new place for B2B business owners to find their ideal clients and grow. I spoke with Sarah Stokes of the juicy Goodlife. About her journey from her career as a TV news, anchor to her current level of entrepreneurial success. So if you missed it, make sure to go back and check it out.
But don't go yet. Folks. My next guest is Leslie Rochelle.
Leslie is a soul led leadership coach who supports new and emerging leaders to bridge the inner and outer connection with self. Cultivating the skills and confidence that support their foundational leadership platform. So they can powerfully claim their leader within. She's a wife, mama coach mentor.
International bestselling author. And the founder of Leslie Rochelle coaching and [00:02:00] consulting.
One of the reasons that I'm bringing Leslie on to talk about this is that companies love to promote new executive leaders up from their ranks. It reduces cost time to productivity and increases employee retention and team morale.
However research has shown that 40% of new executives fail within 18 months, whether it's the cultural fit, inability to build teamwork or they're unsure of their role as a new leader. So that's why I'm talking with Leslie Rochelle about her leadership journey, as well as widely held misconceptions and small shifts that can transform your leadership capacity.
Both of your sense of fulfillment and impact will skyrocket when you make these shifts. Join me in welcoming. Leslie rochelle
[00:02:51] Interview start
[00:02:51] Trina: Hi, Leslie. Thank so much for joining me today. It's an absolute pleasure to have you on my show,
[00:02:57] Leslie: Trina. I am so excited to be [00:03:00] here. I always loved the conversations that we get to have.
[00:03:04] Trina: Well, we had wonderful conversations back in the summer of 2021 when we did the coaching business summit. And I absolutely loved what you shared there and I can't wait to continue our conversation.
[00:03:20] Leslie: This is going to be so much
fun.
[00:03:22] Trina: It is.
Yeah.
So Leslie, for those of my audience who don't know you very well yet, can you share just really quickly where you started from and how you got to where you are now?
[00:03:36] Leslie: Perfect. Thank you very much, Trina. I really, again, I really appreciate the great conversation that we're going to have today. I know, I know that it's going to be great.
[00:03:45] Where Leslie Started
[00:03:45] Leslie: Really where I started from is being, given an opportunity that I. I said yes to not really knowing what I was getting myself into and, Allowing myself to [00:04:00] really get consumed by the position that I was in.
And that really led to my own coaching experience with in my own mentoring experience. And that is having someone support me through, through those roles. And, you know, be being in that first time leadership like a greater leadership role versus some of these. Smaller ones that I've had really, really pushed me into a lot of discomforts.
And it's one thing that I really needed to really get a hold of. Cause it almost broke me to where I was, had a really, really difficult time. But what that led to was really the passion for me. And my coaching is to reach back to that earlier version of myself, just to be able to give somebody a hand.
So that's why I helped support new and emerging leaders with, solidifying their leadership foundation. So it's really. Mix of that life coaching, that leadership coaching all rolled into one that I can, [00:05:00] that I can really help that, that new and emerging leader that up and coming set up coming leader.
[00:05:05] Trina: I love that. It's so important. We all want to be leaders, you know, we all envision what it's like to be a leader and we all are leaders in some way or another in our lives.
But when it comes to stepping into big leadership, whether that's leadership of your own company as an entrepreneur or leadership in another business, you know how to do your job, and that's why you got elevated, but do you know how to lead. That's you know, and you may know how to lead, but if you have doubts about it, If you have your own stresses and anxieties, you're paying more attention to that than you are to the people that you are there to support and lead.
[00:05:56] Leslie: That's
[00:05:56] Trina: true is that?
[00:05:57] Leslie: Yeah. That is incredibly true. Some [00:06:00] misconceptions with regards to leadership as well. Some people want that leadership role because they just assume, oh, I have a little bit more power. This is a really the next step along the path for me. And they don't really consider that you're no longer in that. Subject matter expertise, role, you are now leading people, which is completely different. So I think that's sometimes where people really get stuck is that, understanding what leading people really does look like. You have to let your, your old role goal, so you can assume the new position that you're in and it's, it can be difficult to do that.
[00:06:39] Trina: It can be, I think it's stepping into your new zone of genius so that. The people on your team can work in their zone of genius. And when you're new in the role, you're still developing your zone of genius when it comes to leadership. How hard is it for new leaders to [00:07:00] ask for support? I think I know the answer to this one, but
[00:07:06] Leslie: Yeah, it can be incredibly difficult because one, one somebody giving you that given you that responsibility, and you've said, I'm so excited to be here and you may think you need to know about. all. And so you're afraid to ask for help, right? You're afraid to say I am struggling and I am stuck. How do I get unstuck? And that takes some vulnerability to put your hand up and say, please, please help me out. You know, it took me two years of as I mentioned before, getting to the point where I was utterly depleted, exhausted You don't lay on a couch or laying on the couch when they, where I said, okay, you know, something has to change here.
And I had to identify what that was. And that was me, right? There's no external change. That's that's going to happen here. It all has to do with do with me as the individual. And that's when I finally asked for help. So [00:08:00] I'd like to. You know, I would like to be able to support someone to not have to get to that point, right.
To that utterly utter depletion that it just takes you days to recover before you just have to go and do it over again. Yeah. That's that's and that's really where that passion lives. It's like, you know, how can I help me earlier? Right.
[00:08:19] Trina: Absolutely. Absolutely. Self discovery is probably one of the most important things that a leader can do, not just for themselves, not just to be a better leader.
You know, it, it just elevates their team as well.
[00:08:36] Leslie: It,
Yeah, it absolutely does. The
best thing we can
do.
[00:08:40] Trina: Yeah.
tell me
a little bit about the kinds of things that the signposts that led to your self discovery. What kinds of things might people notice in their lives that would be The signposts that they need to do more self discovery, but they need to learn more that they need to do this kind of inner work.[00:09:00]
[00:09:00] Leslie: Right. When you were looking around and thinking, how do I mimic somebody else? I like the way they do that thing.. How do I do it for myself? And then we try and we go, oh, that doesn't work for me. Like completely inauthentic. Right. You're spending so much energy outward that it is exhausting and it is overwhelming to you.
You have no idea what type of a leader that you want to be really. You know, some of the best leaders are the ones that speak last,
Great. Some of the, some of the best leaders will allow other people to express their opinions before they give their opinions. So, from that self discovery pieces that we really need to know who we are as a human being before we can Excel in anything.
And that includes leadership.
[00:09:50] Trina: Yeah. Yeah. I think in regards to being the last to speak is knowing that [00:10:00] no one else, no matter what anybody else says, that you aren't threatened to find that, that space of inner self security.
[00:10:12] Leslie: Yeah, a hundred percent because what'll end up happening is when you are secure in your role and you understand what your position is within, within that. And that is leading people. And. Team members want to be seen, heard cared for, have a sense of belonging. and , have a shared sense of purpose.
And when you can sit back and direct from, from the back, it's amazing what you can actually learn when you're back there. Not always having to be in the front, you will. have, people expressing their opinions and their ideas more freely than maybe they would have before because they're seeing other people doing it. And they're seeing you allowing them to do that.
[00:10:54] Trina: I love that because that's so true because you're giving them a chance to feel validated[00:11:00]
by, in their own, just being as they are and knowing that you trust them.
[00:11:07] Leslie: A hundred percent. And it's what the foundation of anything really is that trust peice is the base layer. You know, that, that foundation of creating some of those great teams as well. Yeah, but it really comes down to that leadership piece of. just saying, Hey, I will truly value your opinion. What is the feedback that you have for me and being open and receptive to what that is.
[00:11:33] Trina: Yes. You know, there's an intention behind that that changes the energy of that . I'm not using energy as Woo, I'm using energy and the ability to get work done and work as the ability to create change.
And so I love what you just said about being able to ask them what they want, , and what they need, but also asking it from a place of [00:12:00] calm and with the intention to listen, instead of feel the intention. To fix or the intention to defend yourself just in case they might say something that you're not comfortable with because that changes the entire dynamic.
You can ask the questions like Leslie, what do you think needs to change? Just asking out of pure curiosity.
[00:12:28] Leslie: That's one of the biggest things that you can do again, I'm going to use your word is really getting curious about something that's maybe not working or getting curious about something that is working. Why is it working so well, how can we implement this in other in, in the other areas that we have when we get into Being there for our team and being a little bit vulnerable for our team. It's just really important to be able to show that humility. That, that is, that is so incredibly necessary that you don't have to know all the answers cause I guarantee you won't and that's why you [00:13:00] have all these other amazing people around you because you've built them, that team up in that fashion.
And then, you know, they end up doing anything for you, right. Because it's not just about you know, did you get that project done? It's how are you today? Like really? How are you today? How's your family? What'd you do this weekend, et cetera, et cetera.
[00:13:16] Trina: It's not small talk.
[00:13:18] Leslie: It's not small talk.
[00:13:19] Trina: No, it's not small talk. And I need to call back to what you were saying about vulnerability and not needing to know all of the answers and. This is something that I see and you'll have to let me know if you see the same in new leaders and even established leaders they it seems as if they feel that they need to know the answers and they need to be the, the, the person who solves the problems. And so when they don't know, it's a very painful situation.
It's a very painful feeling. So how true do you find that to be? Because I've seen that to be the case.
[00:13:59] Leslie: Yeah. I think [00:14:00] that's incredibly accurate,
Yeah.
you know, how you actually, how you, how you describe that. You know, when I first got the, the, the big leadership role, I said, no, at first, because I said, oh, I don't, I can't sit in their seats. 'cause, I don't know what they know. And they say, well, that's not, that's really not what the role is all about.
And so I said, oh, okay. So your, your job is to lead the people, not to know everything. That's why you have a team of people that you can go to, to say, I don't know this. Can you educate me on this one? And you put it across that way and they will help you. They will, 100% help you out.
[00:14:39] Trina: Of course they will. You know, because they're the subject matter experts. You know, they're the people that need to be empowered.
[00:14:48] Leslie: That's right. And they know that you know that,
[00:14:50] Trina: Yeah.
[00:14:51] Leslie: right?
[00:14:52] Trina: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah You know, and how refreshing is it when, [00:15:00] when a leader comes in and says, I don't know what the answer is, but let's work together to figure it out
[00:15:08] Leslie: that really plays to the inclusion piece of leadership is bringing everybody in. It goes to that common sense of purpose. We have this, this thing, this concern, this problem that we need to solve, let's all get all of our heads together and identify. Some solutions to that problem because, you know, one of us may not have the answer, but I bet you, when we all get together and we can discuss it, there'll be a lot of ideas that will come out that, that will ultimately get us to fixing the issues that we're experiencing.
Yeah.
[00:15:42] Trina: Yeah. And, and that, it feels so good to talk about it in that way. And I think there's so many leaders out there who come from settings and other immeshed styles of leadership where it's really top down my [00:16:00] way or the highway.
This is what you're going to do style of leadership that it really is a shift.
[00:16:08] Leslie: It is a hundred percent of shift. And I think we're seeing less and less. I mean, there's a time and place for that type leadership. Are you in an emergency situation? Are you in a war? Right. But But what is then you just, just follow the orders, right? what you're being asked to do, but in the most of the cases, it's not. And if you get into. that Dictatorship type of leadership, which is just, I want you to do this or do you need to do this by this time micromanaging,
Micro-managing that is all you're going to get when you allow them to come into their own, when you can, you know, deeply care about the people in, within your charge, you're going to get a whole bunch more out of them because they will give you that extra 10%.
Right. They're not, you know, they, they might be there too. You know, there, there are some that just want to go there and [00:17:00] collect the paycheck, but then there's others that really want to go there to make a difference. So if you can tap into those ones that really want to be able to make that difference and, and really pour into them, you weren't going to get so much in return.
You're going to get more than just the job done.
[00:17:14] Trina: Yeah. The invested, engaged employees or team members . You mentioned the ones who aren't engaged, the ones who are really just showing up to do the job, to get the job done.
And there is a way to help them become more engaged while you can't control what they do. You can change how you interact with them that will make it easier for them to re-engage.
If that is something that they desire to do and what I love about what you do, what I do, what anybody who works with leaders does is working with them to do that inner work to do that self discovery, because it's not until you figure out, [00:18:00] like, where do you feel? Where, where are you when it comes to secure Confidence. How are you dealing with your own sense of perfectionism? How willing are you to ask for help and to receive it? You know, as a leader, you you're looking for people who are coating You know, this is a coaching conversation about leaders, but when talking about leaders, leaders need teams who are coachable.
And so how coachable are you as a leader? How willing are you to do the work for yourself? right. You don't go into coaching to expect other people to change. You have to choose the one to start it.
[00:18:42] Leslie: That's right. And if you can switch that around saying, I'm here to serve you, how can I inspire you to be the best version of yourself? Right. 'cause that's really you know, what that, what that leadership is. You're leading, [00:19:00] you're leading people. You're not managing people. You're not supervising people.
You're leading people. Right. So there is that difference there. And until you identify where you're currently at, you have no idea how to get to where you want to be. So, you know, getting into identifying your needs, your wants, and your desires, because they are going to, they're all going to be different from one another.
And when you can put that down and identify, okay, where am I currently at right now? And not thinking about those things, but really feeling into it. Right? Cause our, our brain will only allow us to go so far. Some things cause, cause ego steps in on us and, and stops us. Just cause it's trying to keep us safe and not allow us to grow.
But when we can feel into something say you're going to get a lot better results when you, when you just allow yourself to open up to the possibilities of what can be.
[00:19:56] Trina: I really believe that when you are willing [00:20:00] to look and examine your values. What's important to you and accept where you are. You're more open to listening to others values and where they are. And the values don't need to be the same. And often they're not conflict comes up when values clash, and you need to know what your values are and then inquire and explore what the values of your team are to find out what's with them.
And how can you find that? Win-win
[00:20:37] Leslie: And that's where perspective comes in
[00:20:38] Trina: yeah,
[00:20:39] Leslie: Right. Like, I don't have to agree with what somebody else is saying, but I am still going to listen to what their perspective on that situation is. And this is another piece of you know, my belief system, which is that diversity and inclusion, but that's diversity of thought, right?
That's diversity perspective. You, you mustn't be. Offended, because I think [00:21:00] that way that's great, but you don't have to, I'm not trying to make you think that way. But all I'm asking for you to do is consider my perspective on something. Right. And I will do the same thing for you. You had mentioned earlier about how do we get, maybe some of those people who need a little bit of that corrective action, one of the best leadership moments I've ever had is supporting somebody that they were incredibly difficult to work with.
Right.
But it's having those courageous conversations and that really some of that straight talk to say, Hey, this is what I'm seeing, and this is what needs to change. Right.
Yeah. Yeah.
[00:21:41] Trina: With that, then you're sharing with them and they, then they know the direction that they need.
to go because they know where they are. You were talking earlier about, you need to know where you are to, to know where you need to go. I'm using a map. And I think that's super, super [00:22:00] important.
What are your thoughts because I've seen this happen. And there's been a lot of other leaders who have mentioned it and leaders who coach other leaders as well. And we talked briefly about it at the beginning, talking about trying to solve things and you could be coming from such a compassionate and calm place. But if you don't pay attention to what the values are, the desires are the person that you're working with and you give them, this is the solution. I'll make it easier for you. I'll take more off your plate that while you're doing your best and your intentions are beautiful, could actually be a very subtle sabotage of them.
[00:22:50] Leslie: A hundred percent because you've just taken away their operation. Yeah You've taken away their opportunity to learn something new. One of the things that I would do and, you know, my team [00:23:00] at first would get frustrated with me because I would ask, okay, you know, I know you want an answer for me and I have one, but what would you do?
It's to allow them to solution that themselves. And we would do use if it wasn't an individual that needed that coaching piece it would really be from that team perspective,
what would you think we should. Right. Give them that space to open up to come up with maybe a better solution than I that I'm considering right now.
I have one for sure too, do you think we can do? Cause then, then it helps their problem solving skills as well.
[00:23:33] Trina: It does. And their idea may likely to be better
very,
more efficiently.
[00:23:41] Leslie: It definitely could be. And that's, and that's one reason not to go in there and say, okay, we have problem. And this is what the solution is because if they have this fear of speaking up to you, they're going to hold their, their, their opinions to themselves, which you've just really cut off a conversation really.
So let everybody else have their say. [00:24:00] And encourage the quiet ones to come out as well. Not just listen to the ones that like to speak a lot, cause there's always going to be those within a team, but really try and, and pull the pieces out of those quieter ones. But sometimes you're just sitting and they're reflecting. They're figuring out what they want to say. And then once everybody gets opinions together, then you can give what your opinion is, and you may have changed your mind three times throughout that conversation because you've allowed, cause you've allowed them to have their say you've allowed them participate that problem solving, which creates an incredible amount of buy-in as well for your team.
[00:24:34] Trina: And I would think as a new leader, that this takes some practice it takes some time for your team to trust you because they may have come from a setting where, Hey, give me your input was more like, what would you. do? And they give their input and then there's no you're wrong. Or if it didn't work, you suck. And instead, you know, having a [00:25:00] more welcoming attitudes. Okay. What would you do? And have them give their suggestion? It's like, okay, let's try it. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't out. If it does great, we have a new way of doing. it.
[00:25:13] Leslie: That's right. I ended up coming into a team that I had to break all the silos out of that team, there was competition going in within the team, but I had to come in and OK, you can't see any of this anymore. You're not seeing the KPIs that are giving you individual results. What we're going to be doing is now we're going to be measuring from a team perspective.
And that took some time cause they were like, who is, why is she doing this right? Is takes these things away from them
[00:25:37] Trina: their values were threatened initially, because this is how I recognize my own value is by these KPIs.
[00:25:47] Leslie: Yes. Yes, I did this much work. So yay for me. Cause you know, maybe there's going to be a financial incentive associated to it. But really that was detrimental from a team aspect [00:26:00] and we are better as a team. Right. We can get so much more work done. When when we're a fluid well-oiled machine,
[00:26:08] Trina: Yeah. I think it's so important when you mentioned silos. I was subtly triggered because I remember back in the day when I was in corporate, I was doing consulting. I was working in software. And the silos were tall and strong. The power of the silos was strong and you could see how it would slow down productivity. The competition between teams was was not supportive of a healthy work environment and it wasn't supportive of good and product productivity. And so I love that you talk about breaking down the silos. That is huge.
And now when we talk about entrepreneurs who perhaps have smaller teams [00:27:00] than huge corporations I think the value of breaking down silos is even more important.
[00:27:08] Leslie: It is. Yeah. I think everybody needs to understand what the roles responsibilities are and how they contribute to that larger, that larger goal.
Yeah.
[00:27:17] Trina: Yeah. Yeah. So Leslie,
tell me a
bit about what you have coming up in the next 1224 months.
[00:27:37] Leslie: 1224 months. There's lots of things that I have on my I'm looking at it right now, right? It's my, it's my vision board of the things that I, that I'm looking to do in 2022 and beyond. There is an ebook that I'm writing.
There's a solo actual book book that.
I'm writing.
[00:27:56] Trina: Awesome.
[00:27:57] Leslie: yeah, I will be [00:28:00] something along the lines of your leader within cause that's the name of the Facebook group that I have as well.
I will be launching a program right now. We're just doing some beta testing and things like that on it, making sure I have all the bits and pieces that in the order that I'd like to happen and that are the most transformational for people as well, as well as three new packages coaching package, coaching and mentoring packages that I have as well.
So I'm looking forward to. Speaking events and lots on the go for 20, 22. It's going to be a really good year.
[00:28:29] Trina: Yeah. 20, 22 is going to rock.
Yes, Leslie, where can people find out more about.
you?
[00:28:36] Leslie: Best place to probably find out more about me is if you go to my website, which is Leslie rochelle.com, L E S L I E R O C H E L L e.com. There is a contact form in there if you're wanting to have some more information as well, I do have a as I mentioned Facebook, a free Facebook group, which is your leader within it's
by
Leslie Rochelle.
Feel free to. [00:29:00]
Look
me up and join. That would love to have you
yeah. And listeners,
[00:29:04] Trina: these, those links will be in the show notes. Okay.
[00:29:07] Leslie: perfect.
[00:29:08] Trina: Leslie, it has been an absolute pleasure to have you back.
[00:29:13] Leslie: Trina. I always enjoy our conversations. So I want to thank you for giving me this, another opportunity to come and speak with you and for your listeners today. Thank you.
[00:29:25] Trina: Our absolute pleasure.
[00:29:26] Interview End
Next week. I'll be talking again with Koni Savella.
[00:29:31] Trina: Koni is a speaker, author and business and strategic advisor. For CEOs and entrepreneurs seeking a quantum leap in their lives and business simultaneously.
Big setbacks, including financial decisions gone wrong can break entrepreneurs, but it doesn't have to be that way. Highly successful. Visionary entrepreneurs tend to exhibit not only more resiliency than their less successful counterparts, but also life [00:30:00] outlook and professional habits that continually expand their capacity for resilience.
That's why Connie and I are continuing our conversation. This time, we're talking about a 100 K loss dealing with betrayal and her turning point that took her from being burned by the industry to resiliently, committing to figuring it out. Tune in next week folks you don't want to miss it
[00:31:00] [00:32:00]
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Sarah Stokes: TV News Anchor to Entrepreneur - Finding her Juicy Good Life
19 Apr 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
🔥 High Powered Visionary leaders with track records of success tend to continue creating success.
🔥 But often that "proven" strategy of success creation is a survival pattern that keeps you stuck in over-work and overwhelm.
🔥 When you are ready to level up, in a more satisfying and profitable way - it's time to go deeper into the common denominator in all your endeavors. That common denominator is you.
🔥 That's why I'm talking with visionary Sarah Stokes of The Juicy Good Life about her journey from her career as a TV News Anchor to her current level of entrepreneurial success.
Episode Notes:
How she became a TV News AnchorWhat led to her transitioning to EntrepreneurshipHow burnout followed herHow life coaching and spiritual healers sparked a whole new way of doing businessCentering and trusting ourselves as Visionary LeadersOwning your "Woo" - that's what is going to help you embody your visionary-leader-selfAnd so much more!
Learn more about Sarah:
As seen on:CBS, NBC, (all of them, actually!) Fox, CNN, ABC, Thrive Global, & multiple podcasts, etc.LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarah-stokes-51687135/Instagram: http://instagram.com/juicygoodlifeFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheJuicyGoodLife
Check out her free gift to listeners:

Finish Strong Video Workshop and E-book
If you are looking for strategies Business Breakthrough Coach Sarah Stokes has used to scale her companies and keep her sanity, this is it! Truly, these are the foundational principles to help you finish the year strong, even if it’s January 3!
https://the-juicy-good-life.mykajabi.com/Free-ebook?fbclid=IwAR0-rUel10WJZm7CNlJ40M8XSysTJLJXjqYZQZsIxVhitJHAViHGF-qw2uQ

*****
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
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Sarah Stokes: TV News Anchor to Entrepreneur - Finding her Juicy Good Life
[00:00:00]
[00:00:56] Trina: w
[00:00:56] Open Loop Intro
elcome back to the field guide to awesome folks. In my last episode. [00:01:00] I spoke with Koni Scavella. Koni is a speaker, author and business and strategic advisor. For CEOs and entrepreneurs seeking a quantum leap in their lives and business simultaneously.
[00:01:13] Trina: An entrepreneur for 17 years with degrees in theology and physics. She has worked with new startups, fortune five hundreds and Inc 500 companies in healthcare, real estate. Education sports, finance, oil and gas, retail ministry hospitality. Entertainment.
We spoke about how she became the difference maker reverse engineering, her success and niching profitably. It can be so easy to take success for granted. - That is until your process stops working. That's why I spoke with Koni Scavella about how she got her aha from experiencing failure after a string of successes. So if you missed it, make sure to go back and check it out.[00:02:00]
But don't go yet, folks. My next guest is Sarah Stokes an award-winning strategist who scaled successful businesses to multiple millions. She's just founded the aligned business collective. A new place for B2B business owners to find their ideal clients and grow.
High powered visionary leaders with track records of success, tend to continue creating success.
But often that proven strategy of success creation becomes a survival pattern that keeps you stuck in overwork and overwhelm. When you are ready to level up in a more satisfying and profitable way, it's time to go deeper into the common denominator in all of your endeavors. And that common denominator is you
that's why I'm talking with visionary, Sarah Stokes of the juicy Goodlife. About her journey from her career as a TV news, anchor to her current level of [00:03:00] entrepreneurial success.
Join me in welcoming Sarah Stokes. Sarah. Thank you so much for joining me today. I am so excited about our conversation.
[00:03:11] Sarah: I am so glad to be here. This has been like anticipation galore. I've been bingeing every episode and they are so good. So thank you for this honor.
[00:03:21] Trina: And this one is going to be one of the best. Oh, so it is, so it is so motive to be, so Sarah, I elevated you to my audience before we started.
But give us a couple of minutes and tell us a little bit about where you started from the very beginning, because again, you've had this television career, which has been just amazing and you know, you didn't just like wake up one morning and say, I'm going to do that.
[00:03:57] Sarah: No I didn't. [00:04:00] Yeah, that was a far off possibility.
So way back, little girl, little town in Minnesota, you know, my mom owned the gift and floral shop down on main street. So we were literally like public facing customer service, like little ones from the time I could reach the cash register. It was, how may I help you today? What, what can I help you find?
Right. So my mom instilled that really, you know, sense of public relations before I knew what that was. And no TV was not on my radar. I wanted to be a veterinarian. Then I figured out, you have to like see hurt animals that didn't compute. Right. But my first taste into broadcasting came when my friend got a gig as a radio DJ and like, oh my goodness, we were, we were young.
We were 15. And they were like 10 year old radio DJ. Yeah. So right. This is, you know, this is what in the nineties and this [00:05:00] radio stations, like we need people to work weekends. Nobody wants to, none of the grownups wanted to work Saturdays. So they figured out this my friend, Matt, he did a pretty good job.
He showed up for work and had a great experience. And they were like, do you have any friends like you? And he said, well, my friend Sarah is pretty great. And so he and I were radio DJs way back then. And then the TV station in town, which was an affiliate for the Minneapolis stations, like a little tiny satellite station.
They were like, you guys are using teenagers and they're working out. And so pretty soon I got hired at the TV station and I was behind the scenes, you know, running cameras. Putting the cassette or like the VHS tapes in the back room. And I got to see all of the inner workings of what TV news was all about.
And I made friends with the anchors and they were my first mentors. And so not knowing anything. I was like, well, how do you do this? And they're like, well, you go to school for journalism. I'm like, tell me more. And so I, I [00:06:00] met a couple of them and one of them, I really appreciated. The school I ended up graduating from.
She's like, well, I went to Drake, it was great. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to go to Drake. And my parents were like, right. I was the first one to graduate from four year college and my whole, both sides of my family. And and away we went and Drake set me up beautifully for a life in TV news. And so I got to go all over the country and Fargo, North Dakota and free.
And as if I didn't have a Northern accent enough, I went to Fargo and then I went to Missouri and that's where I met my husband. We would be co-anchors and then literally like fell in love and the rest is history. So he and I then moved to Wisconsin and we were co-anchors for nearly a decade together.
And having our babies really showed that. Mom and dad being done until 11 at night. So they were in daycare. Second shift work. It worked [00:07:00] until it worked until it didn't. And our son was two and our daughter was an infant and he did not want to go to bed at daycare. And so that was the tipping point for me to get into business.
And it was a big enough pain point. We loved our careers in TV but it was a big enough pain point that it's like, this is not what life is about. So one of us had to had to go, we did our pro and con list and it was me. I was still the food source for one of the children. So that tipped the scales and away we went and I bought my friend's women's magazine as a wonderful bridge. And I use my journalism skills and then dove head first into business. And my husband's six months later is like, I want to be in business too. I want to be home with our kids at night. And we laughed because he's like, I want to see a sunset sunset with you, not on sky cam because night, yes, we had this sky cam over a Walgreens and that's where we would see the sunsets together.
And we were like, yup. sunsets [00:08:00] in real life are really nice. And so he and I founded our marketing company and that was literally on independence day. And he put in his notice to TV and we both plunged into both of us being business owners as if one of us, you know, it wasn't enough, two toddlers at home and the rest is history and we have built and scaled businesses ever since.
And it's been a beautiful. Thrilling exciting, terrifying ride. And we are all in for it. And here we are today. Eight years later.
[00:08:33] Trina: Wow. What an amazing journey.
[00:08:38] Sarah: Yes.
[00:08:39] Trina: Yes. It's an amazing journey and it sounds like a fairy tale, so beautiful. Was it always that easy?
[00:08:51] Sarah: Oh no. I mean, I look back at how intense I was in the news world.
Oh man. Was I intense? And guess what? I brought [00:09:00] that intensity to business and there's a recipe to just fry. I mean, Yeah, we were always so, you know, driven to be first and best and like that competitive be the first with the scoop. It served us very well in business though, because urgency and that mentality to be best for your clients, they, they can smell that and they want to be a part of it.
So in my early business years, yeah, it was a, that was a really big part of my success and a really big part of burnout too, though. It's a double-edged sword. You're going to say. Yeah. So it wasn't always easy. No.
[00:09:41] Trina: Oh, talk about taking parts of your past life, parts of your formative life into your new endeavor into your new business.
What went into
creating. Embodying [00:10:00] and being in the kind of business that you wanted. Oh,
[00:10:10] Sarah: well it was falling face first into total burnout is what happened. And that's what led to truly my spiritual awakening, which has led to everything I have created. That's actually an alignment in business now and in life. So with that time in the women's magazine and beginning our startup marketing agency, which was a, it's still going today, beautifully full service, but full service means 24 7 in marketing and crisis communications and PR.
But what happened was I, I took all of that urgency and all of that seriousness and all of that drive I had, and I forgot to get help. I forgot to, I forgot to give myself the gift of rest because the deadlines were always there. [00:11:00] The next client was always there. We were feeding our family. We were building a team.
The payroll was always knocking on the door, the $5,000 a month printing bill for my free magazine meant I had to hustle my tushy to get advertisers. And so what happened was I got to the point where I was hallucinating. I could not. Yeah. I mean, I was that tired. Wow. Right. And who needs daycare? Because, Hey, we work from home now, hilariously poor choice.
Yet we left for our kids to be home with us. So we're juggling two toddlers all the stress of business life. And I forgot to tend to myself because I just didn't even know. I didn't even know until it was way too late. And so yeah, a life coach, spiritual healers sparked a whole new way of me doing business.
And I know. I looked back and, yeah. And to tell you how far I was down my life coach said, maybe you should just [00:12:00] start by smelling your shower gel really mindfully, because I was gone. That first tool was that, that was my self-care was smelling my shower, gel mindfully, and now I look back and I'm like, oh my gosh, how did I make it?
[00:12:17] Trina: How did I make it? Yeah. And you know, the thing is you know, this, I know this, that it's not a unique situation. It's not a unique experience. I think probably most ambitious high powered visionary CEO-like leaders, especially women have experienced this at some point or another, or are at risk of experiencing it when they're transitioning into having their own business.
I talked to[00:13:00] leaders and entrepreneurs and of those kinds of people. And you don't know what you don't know. You have a vision, you have a very strong work ethic. I mean, entrepreneurial-ism and being a leader, you can't be lazy. I think there's a lot who fear being lazy, who gets stuck in the burnout and they see that they're not producing.
Or the endeavors that they're working on are not becoming what they envisioned. And so they just need to work harder doing the same thing that they've always been doing. All right. It's not that people aren't motivated, you're motivated AF [00:14:00] you know, it's not lack of motivation. It's, you're using the tools that you, that got you through before, through like a coping mechanism through a survival mechanism, and they've become at some point detrimental to your experience, but you can't see.
What other options are. That's kind of what I saw in your story there. And you need somebody to call you, call you out a little bit.
[00:14:31] Sarah: Yeah. Yeah. I had no idea that there was such a thing as a life coach. I had never heard of it and she changed my life. She literally changed my life. Thank goodness for someone who told me, you know, I think maybe a life coach would be a great idea.
Because they were like, so when's the last time you did something for yourself and I'm like, huh, there's no time. And I was just so in my rut. But yeah, you cannot see straight, which is why coaching is such a powerful thing, right? [00:15:00] Even coaches need coaches because we sometimes can't see through our own junk and we have all the tools.
We have all the tools and still, we need someone to bounce them off of because we get caught in our patterns and they do serve us well... Until they don't. And then when we become, you know, a weapon against ourselves and our wellbeing, especially as visionaries, I think that's one thing I'd love to myth bust is like, what if you just own the fact that you're a visionary and it's okay.
That you're not good at all the technician stuff it's okay. Because that's where the in fact, I believe the burnout happens is the visionary thinks faster, has more ideas than, and it doesn't make integrators wrong or anything. We're just speaking about visionaries, period. We have more ideas before breakfast than some people do in a lifetime.
And then we want to take action on all of them and it
[00:15:57] Trina: can be overwhelming. Yes. [00:16:00] Because as a visionary, you see all the pieces. You see all the pieces and you're like, oh, I can do all that. Can you, can you do all of that in the timeline to make your vision come true before you die? Yeah. Yeah.
[00:16:15] Sarah: And when you were talking about the results, I think that's the piece where when we can center ourselves enough to not feel like we have to do all the things and trust that the ideas that are meant for us to take action on will be there tomorrow, if they still need to be there, but we can trust ourselves enough to know if I act on what's actually calling, I can create some results, then I don't have to feel like I have to do my, all, all of my ideas to have success, right?
Like we can hone in on those beautiful things that really serve our people well, right. The people we're here to help. And that's just, it it's like I have stopped worrying about being the person to do all the [00:17:00] things long ago. And I have stepped into the visionary superpowers that are that deep belief in what can be right.
Like you said. Yeah.
[00:17:10] Trina: When you stop worrying about the, how, and you look at the who, who can help, who can support, who can work in their zone of genius to support me as I work in my zone of genius, you know, it's get out of the zone of competence in the zone of excellence. Because Sarah, let me tell you, I am good. A lot of stuff, you are good. I mean, you could do whatever you want to do. And the people that I talk to are they're brilliant. They're capable. They can do all the little bits and pieces, but what is the return on investment of doing those little pieces? How can you pay somebody else to support you so that they can get that done?
The stuff [00:18:00] that you know might be kind of fun, but where if you acted in your zone of genius would bring so much return, you know, and it's not all about money, but let's be honest. You know, we need to have an exchange of energy.
[00:18:15] Sarah: Yeah, no money, no mission,
[00:18:17] Trina: no money, no mission. And this goes into I call it radical self care, doing all of the little things that may not be fun, but that allow you to really perform at your best to serve at your best to feel your best.
Because when you feel your best, when you have enough energy coming in, you're going to have better relationships with your family, you're going to have incredible deep, powerful relationships with your clients. Your clients are going to feel it, even if it's just on a video, even if it's through an email you know, and it sounds woo, but I think Wu is [00:19:00] sometimes just science that we don't understand yet.
And to get a little deep into the, the science, our micro-expressions, how we hold our body, how we breathe, how we feel about ourselves, the beliefs. And when I talk about beliefs, it's not just the thoughts. It's like, what do you feel? And believe and trust, mind, body, and emotions. All right. And that is what is going to come through in your facial expressions, in the words you choose in your ability to be present in your ability to listen.
And so, so yeah, that, I mean, being a visionary is great. But you have to believe it. You have to feel it. You have to embody it fully. And so that brings me on, because I know you're really big into the power of intention. I want to talk a little bit about values, the power of belief and and a little bit about mission because these things [00:20:00] are incredible.
When you understand how they can be used as tools,
[00:20:08] Sarah: absolutely. The biggest tools. Truly. Yeah. And I have no problem fully owning my woo. You know why? Because I have the major street credit and results to be like, if you need proof, I can show you proof that blue ends up in the bank. I can show you proof that Wu ends up as your kid saying, mom, you're the most joyful person.
I know those things that people consider woo or not valid. Like I think we're seeing this sea change visionaries, especially like give yourself that gift. What lights you up in the morning and your practices, like when you feel off, I bet you can point back to, I forgot to whatever show up on your yoga mat, forgot to do my breathing.
Right? You will find that 10 times out of 10. If you're off, you have forgotten the [00:21:00] thing that centers you for the day and just give yourself that. Everything else will get better.
[00:21:05] Trina: Yeah. And Sarah back me up here. Cause I know that we're not saying that the strategies that you're learning don't work, they do the tips, tricks, techniques, they all work, but there's something that has to come first, you know?
Cause inevitably when you look in the business world, do you see what people did? This technique that I learned and they have like explosive success, but I did the same thing, followed it step by step, step by step. I did the same thing and I got nothing. I got nada. Right. And so I think the mistake that people start to think is that they're doing something wrong.
So they start looking at the, the technique tricks, step strategy as they just keep pounding [00:22:00] that. And ignore the internal and they just start getting even more frustrated and anxious. And so people, if, if you're out there and you're doing something and it's not working, I'm going to suggest that you listen very closely to this next section that we're going to be talking about.
All right. So, and honestly, I think if people are listening to the show they're already kind of bought in, but we're going to talk about it a little more deeply.
Sarah, this has been such an amazing conversation. I would love for you to come back sometime. Would you be open to
[00:22:47] Sarah: that?
You know, I'm a yes. Awesome.
[00:22:51] Trina: Awesome. So Sarah, I want because there's so much more that I would love to talk with you about because values of has come [00:23:00] up a few times. I would love for that to be a conversation because that is man, you can use your values, like a compass.
Yes. You can figure out where you're going to go and how you're going to do things. Even if you have no idea in the moment and the power of belief and mission. There's just so much to talk about. But before we go, I want to also mention that I love pressies and you have Prezis. And I love to give my listeners Prezi's from my guess.
So tell me about. What you have, it's called the finish strong video workshop and ebook. What is that?
[00:23:40] Sarah: So it is the set of keys that I use, no matter what's going on in my business, no matter what's going on my life to finish anything strong. So this, even if you find it on January 2nd, right, you can use this to finish your year strong.
You can use it to finish a project strong. It [00:24:00] gets us back to the basics of what actually works, takes you out of the how, right. It's very tactical and strategic, which is a very big part of who I am. I am a strategist who also knows, all right, these are the five strategies I use to build success in whatever it is I'm doing.
So that's what this finished strong ebook or video course. You can use them both at once. If you want. It just offers, you know, different ways of consuming the content. It will help. Do anything you want to do, period.
[00:24:32] Trina: Brilliant. Yep. Because you know, as visionaries, we know we're great at starting, but holding that vision and finishing strong so that you can create the next part of your vision.
Yeah. I love that. Yes. I love that. And Sarah, how can people find out more about you? So
[00:24:54] Sarah: I am everywhere. Everywhere. You are. The juicy good life is on all of the [00:25:00] platforms. I personally hang out on Facebook myself. Someday I have, you know, I have hopes and dreams of being an Instagram lady, but I have a great helper for that.
Yeah. I'm okay with that because I am still just, I go where I'm inspired to be. And so I'm mostly on Facebook, LinkedIn. Instagram we're everywhere, but yeah, come hang out with me at the juicy good life. And we'll have a great time. I like to consider myself that front porch, best friend for female founders, because I don't want you to feel alone anymore.
Like you're not, you're not alone.
[00:25:33] Trina: You're not alone leadership, especially for women can feel like a very lonely place. And it's lonely because you isolate yourself. It's time to spend time with other leaders. That's
[00:25:48] Sarah: right.
[00:25:49] Trina: Right, Sarah, thank you so much. And listeners, all of those links will be in the show notes.
Sarah, thank you again. And I can't wait to talk to you in another
[00:25:59] Sarah: [00:26:00] interview. Thank you for this beautiful opportunity. Thank you for your light shining in the world and thank you for everything you do.
[00:26:06] Interview End
[00:26:06] Trina: Next week, I'll be talking with Leslie Rochelle.
Leslie is a soul led leadership coach who supports new and emerging leaders to bridge the inner and outer connection with self. Cultivating the skills and confidence that support their foundational leadership platform. So they can powerfully claim their leader within. She's a wife, mama coach mentor.
International bestselling author. And the founder of Leslie Rochelle coaching and consulting.
One of the reasons that I'm bringing Leslie on to talk about this is that companies love to promote new executive leaders up from their ranks. It reduces cost time to productivity and increases employee retention and team morale.
However research has shown that 40% of new executives fail within 18 months, whether it's the cultural [00:27:00] fit, inability to build teamwork or they're unsure of their role as a new leader. So that's why I'm talking with Leslie Rochelle about her leadership journey, as well as widely held misconceptions and small shifts that can transform your leadership capacity.
Both of your sense of fulfillment and impact will skyrocket when you make these shifts.
So tune in next week, folks, you don't want to miss it.
[00:28:00] [00:29:00]
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Koni Scavella: Becoming the Difference-Maker, Reverse engineering her success & Niching profitably
12 Apr 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
It can be easy to take "success" for granted - that is...until your process stops working. That's why we are talking with Koni Scavella about how she got her "Ah-ha" from experiencing failure after a string of successes.
Listen in to hear about:Becoming the difference-makerCuriosity & The Beginner's MindHow she discovered her pattern of success when entering new businessesShedding layers of imposter syndrome and taking imperfect actionHer "Ah-Ha" experiencing failure after a string of successesThe importance of surrounding yourself with amazing peopleNiching "golden nuggets"And so much more!
Learn more about Koni:Community: http://TheIconicEntrepreneur.comWorkshops: http://The7FigureWorkshop.comBooks: http://KoniScavella.com/SOARThe SOAR Quiz: http://KoniScavella.com/quizWebsite: http://KoniScavella.comFacebook: https://Facebook.com/KoniScavellaLinked In: https://Linkedin.com/in/KoniSInstagram: https://Instagram.com/KoniScavellaYouTube: https://YouTube.com/KoniScavellaTV
Take the 2-minute SOAR QUIZ to Discover What is Holding You Back From Success
... AndGet a FREE Copy of the SOAR BOOK

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If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
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If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
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TRANSCRIPT
Koni Scavella: Becoming the Difference-Maker, Reverse engineering her success & Niching profitably
[00:00:00]
[00:00:56] Trina:
[00:00:56] Intro
[00:00:56] Trina: welcome back to the field guide to awesome folks. In my last episode. [00:01:00] I spoke with Lauren Hughes about radical self-acceptance. What she thought was a weakness and how it became her superpower. These are seven figure secrets people. So if you missed it, make sure to go back and check it out.
But don't go yet, folks. My next guest is Koni Scavella . Koni is a speaker, author and business and strategic advisor. For CEOs and entrepreneurs seeking a quantum leap in their lives and business simultaneously.
An entrepreneur for 17 years with degrees in theology and physics. She has worked with new startups, fortune five hundreds and Inc 500 companies in healthcare, real estate. Education sports, finance, oil and gas, retail ministry hospitality. Entertainment. And Connie, and I will be talking about becoming the difference maker reverse engineering, her success and niching [00:02:00] profitably. It can be so easy to take success for granted. - That is until your process stops working. That's why we're talking today with Koni Scavella about how she got her aha from experiencing failure after a string of successes.
Join me in welcoming Koni. Scavella. .
[00:02:21] Interview Start[00:02:21] 1 Koni Scavella: Becoming the Difference-Maker, Reverse engineering her success and Niching profitably
[00:02:21] Trina: Hi Koni. Thank you so much for joining me today.
[00:02:24] Koni: Oh, it is my pleasure. I'm so happy to be here.
[00:02:28] Trina: I'm thrilled to have you now, Koni, would you share with my audience a little bit? I introduced you before we started. But would you tell us a little story about like where you started to, where you are now?
[00:02:42] Koni: Absolutely. So my journey started far, far, far away in a land called Germany. And so actually that's where I'm from my mother's German Austrian. My father is Italian, Puerto Rican, and I come out like this. So, [00:03:00] it was perfect. I had a wonderful childhood. Bucollic beginnings. And then it all came to a screeching halt when we came to America. And the reason I bring this up is, you know, I don't want to go back to the, you know, the cradle days, but it's important because when I came to America, that's when everything changed.
[00:03:18] Trina: How old were you when you came to America?
[00:03:23] Koni: That's going to be another point. I'm a little challenged by that. Believe it or not still is because I had a near-death experience, which I lost a lot of memory, a lot of concepts of time. So I have no concept of time. And so people would say, well, how old were you then? And what were you doing in 1990? And where were you there? And I have zero ability to gauge that to a timeframe. But I would say somewhere around nine or 10 or something like that. And, but it was so different. Right. And when I came to America, I had [00:04:00] no idea that I was different. In Europe everything looked the same. There was no biases.
It wasn't about how much money do you have? Where do you come from? You know, who were your parents? We didn't have any of that. And if we did, my mother did a great job of not letting us know. So when we came to America, I was completely different. Right. I looked different. In the suburbs we lived in, everybody was blonde, blue eyes, thin lipped and, and little tiny little people.
And here I am, five, nine, you know, dark hair, thick eyebrows, full lips of, and really long thick hair. And I was completely an outcast. And of course I sounded funny because I still had an accent. So you know how kids are very cruel growing up before there was a name for it, there was bullying. And so I was.
The tail end of that, the harsh end of that. And [00:05:00] it was really hard. And then I finally kept coming to my mom. I mean, the beat ups were terrible. And I said, you know, we gotta do something here to stop this. And so I was tutored how to speak English without an accent. I speak five languages, but then my mother did something brilliant and she said, Koni, you're always going to be different.
And your difference is the differenceMaker.. And so that was my rock. That's what I leaned on. And that was sort of my own name. I call him an auto responder. I'd always play that automatically. If somebody said something to me and that became a theme for me. And so going into school, I was different.
I started studying, okay, well, who are the different people and how do you not have disharmony by being different? How do you have to blend in? So very early age, I became a student of human behavior. And so I realized [00:06:00] to be popular means you're safe. So we thought, okay, I'll be popular. So it became popular.
And that lasted for a while. It's like imposter syndrome in high school.
[00:06:11] Trina: Yes. Yes.
[00:06:12] Koni: Right. And so I morphed, but I was miserable. And so then I was walking down the streets of Seattle. And I got discovered by an agent and started modeling and they said, well, you're not the "look". You don't look, you know, like an American model, we'll have to send you to Europe.
And that was music to my ears and off I went. So all of a sudden the thing that people would make fun of me and laugh and point and jeer was the thing that made me millions of dollars before I could get a driver's license. And so that completely changed me and it solidified. What my mother said, right.
My difference is going to be the difference maker. And so that's how it started. And then I went into multiple careers. It seems like all of them started with [00:07:00] M. So I went from modeling. I went into medicine and to the field of medicine, again, completely out of my element became the fastest rising youngest, female, and the third largest $200 billion pharmaceutical company.
And I did it how all off of launching, I became an expert and I created a new way. That was my way to launch new drugs.. And so, that was the thing, you know, back in the day. So that became my thing. I went from there. I went into the money field, finance mortgage companies. I did it different. I didn't know what I was doing.
Again. I go into everything cold what's going on, locked myself in my house for three months and tried to figure out the internet. And so I became one of the largest mortgage companies in the country in 13 states. Of course I thought, well, what do I do next has to start with an "M" so, I thought, well, I haven't done motor sports.
And so I [00:08:00] started a professional racing company.. And so we raced all over the country and I wore every hat but the helmet and then I went into studying the mind and that's where I really kind of came full circle and started looking at what changes people, what makes people Excel and what makes people fail.
And I looked at, is there a syntax of failure and a syntax of success that we could follow? Is there a formula for that? And I spent 12 years looking into that and doing that and I realized, oh, this is what I did. Has it right. Trying to fit in. I studied human behavior and then I realized I've spent 12 years studying predictable human behavior.
And how do you perform in different environments to get the maximum success out of that? And so I'm out of "M's". I suppose now I take people from six figures to seven figures in a year. So I help people become millionaires in a year.
[00:08:56] Trina: There you go.
[00:08:57] Koni: But I think I have to stop here because I can't [00:09:00] find any more M's that I could complete, but that's the whole journey.
And each one of those was a piece, right. A piece to a puzzle. And every single time I had a pattern and I would go into something completely new, I'd be the outcast. I'd still always be made. Fun of people would bet against me in one place, they had a football pool bet. One of those, you know, things where you pick a square.
[00:09:24] Trina: Yeah.
[00:09:25] Koni: I didn't know this until about four months in that they all picked a square. Like what month and day would I quit and leave? Because of the harassment. So, you know, you just, you deal with what you deal with. But I think once I realized my difference was the difference maker I was unbreakable.
[00:09:46] Trina: Such an incredible story. And before people, listeners, before you think, oh, I can't identify with this story because it sounds like she started with success right away. You [00:10:00] didn't, you started off with bullying. You started off with being the underdog and trying to figure things out. But very early on, it sounds like you were quite fortunate with your mother who says your strength is the thing that is stumbling you right now.
And that is you are a difference maker. You are a change maker, you're a difference maker. You're different and that is your strength. And it's so exciting to see how you, you pick that up and ran with it. With each new business that you got into you pretty much just picked an M field and said, I'm a do that.
[00:10:47] Koni: Yeah.
[00:10:48] Trina: I would do that and figure it the heck out. So let me ask you this. You experienced quote unquote imposter [00:11:00] syndrome. When you were a kid, how did you find, or did you find that similar things kept coming up for you in each new level of business that you went into?
[00:11:13] Koni: Oh, you know, it's so funny, you think? Okay, well I've mastered it. I got, I got success at this level and it's just going to continue. And it doesn't, it is that onion, right. I just peel that layer and now, oh no, I'm starting a new layer, right? It's like picking at a wound, right? Sure. It has a scab on it.
It's sealed up and then you pick at it now it's totally exposed again. And every new place I went. It's almost like I just needed to keep shedding layers and layers and layers like a snake, every new place I went, imposter syndrome came up and for me, I have a short attention span. Right. I, I love the challenge.
I have most entrepreneurs are like this, right? Where we [00:12:00] have ideas, we're visionaries and we want to create and then now you take over, right? I'm not going to go create something new. Most of us are designed that way and I'm no different, but each time I want to go into something new, I realize, I don't know anything about this.
So, I would have to study, I have a researcher's brain, I'd study everything, trying to figure things out. That was my. One of my I guess superhero qualities, I was just a constant researcher. And so then I'd figure it out. And then I do it now. I never figured it out well or perfectly, or like anybody else.
[00:12:38] Trina: So, let me interrupt for a second, because there's so much in there. You overcame perfectionism, you weren't trying to do everything perfectly. You were an action taker, you were curious and you saw something that caught your attention. And I'm going to figure out how to [00:13:00] do that. Is, is this viable?
Let me figure it out. It's like, oh, this is doable from the little that I know about it so far. And then you take, start taking steps. You take the steps that you are that you understand that. And each step you take you understand more and you can take the next step.
[00:13:21] Koni: Exactly. You did such a great job of unpacking that like you exactly. And so what, what I finally realized, and honestly it took me until the last three years after some huge failures I suppose we'll get to those too.
[00:13:37] Trina: Oh, yes.
[00:13:38] Koni: so after some huge failures, I'm like, what is going on? Why am I failing more massively now than I ever have?
And why did I not fail before? And so what I started doing is exactly like what you said, I had to reverse engineer, what was I doing? Right. And in different areas in [00:14:00] different environments. And then how do I repeat that success? And I, and I look at it from all avenues, right? From the way I am internally to the way I am externally.
But most important of all is my mind, my consciousness, how am I thinking, how am I believing then? How am I feeling? And how am I acting? And those are the key things that have to happen, right? What is that first thought? And that first thought is that first thought, the second, my eyes open, what is that?
Right. And for me, somebody told me about Napoleon hill long time ago. Now I remember this year because. It was just so pivotal and it was 1989 and I saw it and I got the book in an audio tape to go with it. That's just telling you how old it is. And I did it and I followed all the chapters and I was absolutely addicted to the mastermind principle and [00:15:00] surrounding myself with amazing people.
Now, if I didn't have him physically, I made them up in my head and that's exactly what the principal talks about. And so I had amazing success again. So I took little things like that and where I had amazing success, I'd hang on to it. The things that led to repeated slide backs or falls, then I'd figure out, okay, where was the, where was the gap?
And now I analyze it and then I either let it go or fix it, but I never really got stuck on something. And think this is important for people to understand, especially as things are changing so fast right now, right? You're looking at Moore's laws, the advance of technology, things are going faster than we can keep up with.
And that's another thing that ignites imposter syndrome. Like I was just barely keeping up, but now it's going twice as fast. Right. You have to look at what can you do and what can't you do? Part [00:16:00] of that comes down to really knowing yourself. Intimacy is key with, with business and with clients these days with too much technology, but also self intimacy and self integrity and honesty.
Like I can't do that or that's not my thing and just admit it and move on. And that is, is one of the keys which we can talk about later, as far as what I would call singularity. I am really good at a very few number of things. I strive for excellence in it. I don't care about perfection because I believe we're all perfect with everything.
We know, every experience we had. We're perfect, but I still want excellence and I still want to be iconic and preeminent. And so I'll strive for that. But I can only do that in certain places and the rest, forget it, cooking, forget it, cleaning, forget it. You know, doing my books for get it right. So you have to be honest.
[00:16:59] Trina: That's when you [00:17:00] hire
[00:17:00] Koni: a team.
Yes, exactly. And say, what can you do? And what can you not do? And you know, in, in the coaching consulting environments, the same thing you want to know who is that exact audience for you? Right. I can show anybody how to make a million dollar business. But who do I really, really work best with. Right. And once I narrow that down, realizing that audience is so tiny, that's when everything grew.
[00:17:29] Trina: Yeah. Narrowing your niche so you can speak directly to them. Like you're speaking to one person.
[00:17:40] Koni: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. And you know, it's such a big, like stumbling block for people that like, oh, I can't find my niche. I run into coaches two, three years down the road. They're not going to, I'm still working on my niche. I almost have it. You know, and then six months later they're bored with it and they're going down another [00:18:00] rabbit trail.
But what I want to tell people is stop looking at the market and start looking at the problem. Right. Niche, the problem, not the market. Right. And you know, that niche is not that 35 year old woman with a Volvo and the white picket fence who lives in the suburbs of Pennsylvania with two kids, one in college.
That's not it. It is what is that problem? What is that earth shattering thing that they can't sleep. They don't want anyone to know that that bothers them, that they're covering up. But gosh, if you could, if you could fix it, if you could find this, you could give them a way I'd give you anything. And when you can find that niche, it's golden.
[00:18:47] Trina: it is golden. Oh, speak to the problem. Speak to the problem.
[00:18:54] Koni: Absolutely.
[00:18:56] Trina: Koni, thank you so much for such a [00:19:00] long, beautiful conversation. What do you have exciting coming up in the next 12, 24 months?
All excited about
[00:19:09] Koni: oh, I, I am so excited all the time. So a couple of things. And so because I believe so much in people being their unique self every oh, about every two months I teach a free workshop called the celebrity factor where you actually take yourself and up your celebrity factor, not the influencer side of things.
That is not at all what we're talking about, but we're talking about being iconic thinking of those, you know, the Audrey Hepburn's and the, the classic black and white. Looks, you know, even the Jackie Kennedy-esk type of things that you see and they have such longevity and, and there are classics and you
[00:19:57] Trina: The difference between style and [00:20:00] beds
[00:20:00] Koni: yes, yes.
And the Coco Chanel. Right. So that aspect of it, where, you know, you can say something and everybody almost gets that same picture. And to boost that because that's how your business stays, right? Otherwise you are a fad and you're just hopping from platform to platform. And so it's important to be independent of the market and the platforms, but to be your own icon.
So, I do that five, six times a year, and then I do have a new book coming out. I've written two so far soar and the power of her wish. And then the new book is called beyond mindset. And it's really. About a lot of these principles that we talked about, how do you go beyond not the fixed and the growth mindset and your positive or your negative.
It's about really elevating your whole consciousness and into whole different field where the miraculous happens all the time. And when you have that level and [00:21:00] you elevate your mind, your business will skyrocket as well. So that,
[00:21:04] Trina: brilliant. And listeners, those links will be in the show notes,
[00:21:08] Koni: yes.
[00:21:11] Trina: Koni, It has been an absolute pleasure and honor talking with you today.
[00:21:15] Koni: Thank you so much for the invitation My pleasure.
[00:21:18] Interview End
[00:21:18] Trina: we'll be talking again with Koni Scarvella, a few episodes from this one about how she recovered from a major emotional and financial setback. Dealt with betrayal and never lost the conviction that she would make a million dollars in a year. Make sure to follow this podcast. So you don't miss out.
Next week, I'll be talking with Sarah Stokes and award-winning strategist who scaled successful businesses to multiple millions. She's just founded the aligned business collective. A new place for B2B business owners to find their ideal clients and grow.
High powered visionary leaders with track records of success, tend to continue [00:22:00] creating success.
But often that proven strategy of success creation becomes a survival pattern that keeps you stuck in overwork and overwhelm. When you are ready to level up in a more satisfying and profitable way, it's time to go deeper into the common denominator in all of your endeavors. And that common denominator is you.
That's why I'm talking with visionary, Sarah Stokes of the juicy Goodlife. About her journey from her career as a TV news, anchor to her current level of entrepreneurial success. It's going to be a fantastic episode. So tune in next week, folks, you won't want to miss it.
[00:23:00] [00:24:00]
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- Später hören Später hören
Lauren Hughes: Radical self acceptance - What she thought was a weakness, and how it became her super power (7-figure Secrets)
5 Apr 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
This week I'm talking again with Lauren Hughes. Successful CEOs need to make fast decisions, but worrying about the consequences slows them down. Indecision and lack of action lead to consequences of their own. That's why we are talking with Lauren Hughes about failing fast & radical self-acceptance - What she thought was a weakness, and how it became her superpower (7-figure Secrets)
Listen in to hear about:
Making fast decisionsHow she likes to fail fast and get fast resultsRadical self-acceptance: We are perfect just as we areHave the courage to accept things as they are so you can address them asapTelling yourself a more empowering storyHow she learned what a panic attack was, and what she had to give up to stop the cycleCatching the warning signsWhat she thought was a weakness, and how it became her super powerChanging the story of what failure meansThe mind is powerfulIt’s normal - people just don’t talk about it because we think we need to be perfectSuccessful entrepreneurs don’t quit Entrepreneurs are inherently Imposters and why this isn’t a bad thingThe “ice cube principle”
You can learn more about GUEST here:
www.luxurycoloradolifestyle.comlinkedin.com/in/laurenschneidewindwww.facebook.com/soldbylaurenhugheshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCByDIyz6nRS5CeW73IRz3xQAnd: Voyage ATL, Hypopotemus, Best and Brightest
*****
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
*********
Would you like to be interviewed on the Field Guide To Awesome Podcast?
Are you a Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?
If so, I'd love to interview you!
Apply to be interviewed here on The Field Guide To Awesome podcast:
https://bit.ly/fg2aguestapplication
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TRANSCRIPT
79-Lauren Hughes: Radical self acceptance - What she thought was a weakness, and how it became her super power (7-figure Secrets)
===
[00:00:00]
[00:00:56] Trina: welcome back to the field guide to awesome folks. In my [00:01:00] last episode, I spoke again with Willow Sana. Willow has been a self-employed creative for over 20 years. She's a sought after business coach who empowers visionary entrepreneurs with heart-centered action. And we talked about what you need to do before you can show up powerfully and compassionately for others.
If you missed it, make sure to go back and check it out.
But don't go yet. Folks. My next guest is Lauren Hughes, serial entrepreneur, realtor, and investor, currently working on her fifth business. Hugh's capital. She started it last year and she's planning to grow it to be over 10 million within the next five to seven years. Lauren and I are talking about radical. Self-acceptance and about what she thought was a weakness and how it became her superpower. Join me in welcoming, Lauren Hughes
[00:01:47] open loop
---
[00:01:48] Trina Serrecchia: I want to go back really quickly to talk about when you talk about decisions and from my research, from working with high level people, [00:02:00] the rapidity of. Decisions making fast decisions and failing fast.
Now I use fail as
[00:02:09] Lauren Huges: no. I like to fail fast because it's not, I don't see failure as a negative. Right. My negative is when you quit and you quit without a real reason. And that's that's the negative, but failure.
[00:02:21] Trina Serrecchia: It's, you've just learned one way that it hasn't worked yet. Exactly.
[00:02:25] Lauren Huges: And next time you're going to be faster.
[00:02:28] Trina Serrecchia: Yeah. And it's, it's like you're creating a field guide. It's like, well, that doesn't work. So let's try this new thing. When things don't work, as you expect. It sounds as if that you were telling yourself a different story than what you would have told yourself earlier in your career.
[00:02:46] Lauren Huges: Yes. I would have told myself a gentler story, I think at the beginning and it's not, and I think it takes maybe more courage or maybe. I in order to have courage, you have to [00:03:00] be afraid, I suppose. So, when at the beginning I think I tried to, put stuff under the rug and not oh, that's not important versus, now it's yeah, you know what?
I'm going to have bad thoughts, or I'm going to have bumps that aren't great. Or, this little dumpster fire needs to be dealt with now. Let's not push it off for another week or, and something. And just accepting that. That's just me versus trying to like, oh, that part doesn't exist. And the reality oh, no, it does.
It's just going to get bigger if you don't address it.
[00:03:34] Trina Serrecchia: Yeah. And early on, it's easy to avoid. And hide and bury things as you develop as an entrepreneur, as a leader you learn that, you can't ignore those things because they do get worse. They do, they do get worse. And then as you get further on in your business, you realize that.
You know what? I don't have to be afraid [00:04:00] of it. I can deal with it now. It may be unpleasant now, but it's going to be a lot worse later. So let me take care of it now. And it's okay.
[00:04:07] Lauren Huges: Yeah. And I think that's the biggest thing is because before I was, so I think, so it comes back to the
[00:04:14] Trina Serrecchia: story of let's hide that because I'm embarrassed about it.
I'm scared about it. I'm not able to deal with it. And so the new story is it's okay. I can do something about it now. It's more empowered. Yeah, the story that you're telling yourself as more empowered.
[00:04:30] Lauren Huges: Brilliant. I love that it's more empowered. And I think that, that goes a lot with, self-acceptance and we don't have to be these perfect people because there that doesn't exist.
And, and just because, I'm not a great speller doesn't mean. Cool. I use spellcheck or, it's not negative. I think, it's not, we don't live in the, leave it to beaver era anymore where people are perfect or consider, we're [00:05:00] just who we are and it's not negative or positive.
It's just, we just are who we are. And we're perfect. Just the way that we are which might be a little bit. Shay, but I think it it's very true. It's very true. Accepted.
[00:05:14] Trina Serrecchia: Perfection does not exist. Perfection keeps us in inaction and it keeps us in anxiety and it keeps us in shame. When we let go of the need for perfection and we allow ourselves to just be who we are.
And, and knowing that as who we are is enough are what we had originally thought of as our weaknesses or our failures. As human creatures are actually our super powers because it allows us to think a little differently to solve problem, solve a little differently. And to feel enough because we are enough.
Yeah.
[00:05:56] Lauren Huges: Yeah, very important words right there. And it's, it's, [00:06:00] we are enough and perfection doesn't exist. I know that we're about to run out of time, but I have actually, I had a complex with being perfect for a long time. And it would tell us about
[00:06:11] Trina Serrecchia: that story. I have time if you have
[00:06:13] Lauren Huges: time.
I do. And I actually put myself in the hospital twice because of it. Because of anxiety because of trying so hard to be perfect. I then learned what a panic attack was. Oh, body goes numb and you think you're dying, but it's all. It's all in your head and discovery. It was fun and an expensive little endeavor, but I'm glad to know I wasn't dying.
So that was the good part. But when your whole body goes numb, you don't know. You're just like, I can't feel my arms. And that actually happened to me. I think between 20 and 22, it was kind of too. And then I had to take a step back. Cause it's this is not, this is not productive. If B and I was when I was in college and I [00:07:00] was struggling to not fail my classes.
And it kind of goes back to the, I struggle on tests and actually one of the panic attacks was in a calendar. Calculus exam and I just panicked. And so, and I think that's when I have to start to give up this whole perfection that you think that you have to be perfect or I did for a very long time.
And. But it was caused like putting yourself into the hospital. Most people don't do that. So I'm really good at failing fast or, having to address some or I like, I'm very intense maybe. And so I'm going to bring something to the extreme, which is good to know about my personality. And, but it made me, I had to deal with it.
This, with this, this is not like you, you don't want to keep doing this. And now, I haven't had a panic attack. I don't think in. I don't know, 10 years or so, but I know the warning signs and that's when I, that's when you get your self reflection and you can. But, and letting go of the perfection and if something is messed [00:08:00] up, it's okay.
We can fix it. And that took me a long time to understand if that makes sense.
[00:08:09] Trina Serrecchia: It does. I mean, perfection is, and it comes from, our childhood or, we can't show weakness. We have to be perfect to fit in. And it sounds that as you released that need for perfection, you became healthy.
Absolutely. You learn to reflect more. You grew as a human being and you started to see what were your weaknesses? What were your failures as superpowers? You're you're. Different way of thinking as a superpower, the way which
[00:08:49] Lauren Huges: is it's, it is a super power. If I, I would not be where I'm at. If I wasn't just the way that I am with, Different which is, it takes a long time to, [00:09:00] accept our uniqueness, which is legitimately our superpower.
[00:09:05] Trina Serrecchia: Yeah. I want to give you some kudos on, actually getting to the point where you were having panic attacks that you need even needed to be hospitalized for and finding your way out. What was the. Early on. What was the key to that with? Just recognizing that you had panic attacks and stopping the,
[00:09:32] Lauren Huges: stopping the cycle.
Yeah. And I would say the cycle. It, it's that, it's almost that imposter syndrome, I think, but when you don't deal with it, it gets to a point where, you can't feel your body or I would. And so if I ever. And that's what happens when you skirt stuff under the rug auger. That's what happens when I skirt stuff under the rug.
And so I noticed that I have a cycle if I get, if I start to [00:10:00] get anxious. And it's all because I don't want to fail. Right. And so that's where my, my anxiety comes from is I want to produce well, or at the time I was like, I have to be perfect. I can't have any flaw oh my gosh. If I have lipstick on my teeth, it'll be the worst day of my life.
When in reality, It doesn't matter. Probably no one noticed if they did, they're going to forget within two minutes because it's really not that important. And so with that cycle, I learned that, if I start to get anxious that's why I take little, like many walks if I remove myself from a situation and then it's, and then it's fine.
But it took me a long time to, realize. Like all the triggers were coming from me, not wanting to fail or trying to be perfect. Me trying to be, fit in. And when I was not doing that, like failing my calculus exam it was me. Or that concern of, oh my gosh, I'm not going to fit in.
Someone's going to judge me. [00:11:00] I'm going to look stupid. And so I think now it's, I, you deal with it head on and if you fail, just take it again. It's okay. Try, it's, as long as, and I changed the town, my mindset thought of failure and, failure, failure's not a bad thing, but knowing if I start to get angry that's usually the cause.
And it goes back to, when I was little, saying that I was not going to succeed. And so it's I know the warning signs now and it's just, and why, I don't think failure is like a negative, it's a learning experience. Which is the mind's very. And understanding how to like, just make small little tweaks.
It has helped. And one of the biggest things that's helped is just listening to other people's stories with the books on tape
[00:11:46] Trina Serrecchia: and knowing
[00:11:46] Lauren Huges: that you're not alone. Yes. And that it's normal. Just no one ever talks about it. No one ever admits it, but. We're all, we're all very similar in the, the struggles that we go through and we, different people are struggling with different things at different times and [00:12:00] at different degrees, but, we aren't alone and we just don't talk about it very much because we have this perception of, we have to, be perfect.
[00:12:10] Trina Serrecchia: Yeah. Yeah. None of us are perfect people. Not even you, not me. So Lauren, thank you so much for being so candid, so vulnerable and sharing about your story. What do you have coming up in the next. 12 to 18 months that you're excited about.
[00:12:32] Lauren Huges: Ooh. Yeah, that's a great, that is a great question. So I am now working a hundred percent on or a full-time I should say which I define as 40 to 60 hours, which is kind of a lot mostly focused on real estate.
Expanding the mine. Real estate portfolio and expanding the, the amount of real estate I move in a given year in Denver and Boulder, [00:13:00] Colorado.
[00:13:02] Trina Serrecchia: Awesome.
[00:13:03] Lauren Huges: Yeah. So that's my, that's the primary focus right now, which I'm really excited about. And it's, it's nice that, well, I loved it for a long time and I'm glad that.
We've reached this point and being able to expand at the rate we are which is, it's, it's not, what does that expansion look like? Yeah, absolutely. So the expansion from my investment portfolio, it, it took a, it took, I think. Oh, darn near 10 years to get to a million dollar portfolio.
And now I'm able to grow it at an over a million dollars a year. But it didn't start that way. And so now we're working on the next five years or so to get it up to 10 million. But it. It took a very long time to get the wheels, wheels turning. And we're right at the cusp of, I guess, scaling would be the proper term.
We're right at the cusp of, [00:14:00] working 12 years on this project, it's now starting to really move. So there's 12 years behind the scenes that no one saw. And to get to the point that now. Now it's just, it, it looks easy. And so that's, it's not but we're at the point where, the perception is it's easy, which is a good place to be because the struggle is it was 12 years,
[00:14:24] Trina Serrecchia: 12 years.
That there is a saying that, you have to work repeat something 10,000 times to be an expert. And you've, it sounds like you've done that. And over already in what you've done, what you're doing and. I think looking at when you are going through those 10,000 steps, even if you're early on in your entrepreneurial journey.
Imposter syndrome is going to come up. If you were doing anything new, like you're going from where you are [00:15:00] now a million dollar business to multi-million dollar business. Right. You're, you're going to have to find new ways to do that. And, and that means that as entrepreneurs we're always. Imposters, because we're doing something where we're trying to do something that we haven't done yet.
We're creating solutions that haven't been created before. And so we're always going into. Try stepping into our next level self who we, who are million dollar multi-million dollar self is, is very different from who we are now. And, but slowly step-by-step, we're embodying that person. And so until we're there until we have it, then yes, we are a little bit of an imposter.
And something that I've seen in most. Of the people that I've worked with is that they're always trying to grow and expand [00:16:00] and
[00:16:02] Lauren Huges: always growing and growing, expanding. I think you hit the nail on the head is entrepreneurs by definition. We kind of are imposters a little bit because we're trying something new.
And so it's always, we, it is kind of can be seen as an imposter and that's, we have to embrace that. Instead of letting us it stopped. Yeah. Which I think is, and that's the biggest key to my success or what I think the biggest key has been. And it's not that I have any innate ability or I'm not like this super person it's that I don't quit.
It's that when we get knocked down, we get back up and it's, that part is, I mean, it's, it's simple, but it's not easy. Sounds
[00:16:45] Trina Serrecchia: great up and are happy all the time. There've been times that I've fallen and you just sit there, cry for a second. You climb back up and sing up, but I don't want it, but I got gotta.
And then you're up and then you're off and running again.
[00:16:57] Lauren Huges: Absolutely. Yes. And it's, it's all [00:17:00] about, getting up and doing it again the next day. And that's what makes that imposter. Say what you want, let's address it and we'll be better today than you were yesterday. And it's, it's simple, it's not easy,
[00:17:12] Trina Serrecchia: it's simple.
It's not easy. And if you can be 1% better than you were yesterday, if you could do just one little bit that. A little bit better than you did yesterday. And you did that every day for a year, your 365% better then. A year ago. Yeah.
[00:17:38] Lauren Huges: So love that. You said that because that is actually, my goal is to be 1% better.
There's a book atomic habits. Yes. I love that. And it's, and that, that has been a game changer because it's 1% it's not that. 1% changes and I love that that's brilliant. And it's it's baby steps. And, we don't see the progress from day to day, but [00:18:00] from one year. Oh, that's, that's huge.
[00:18:03] Trina Serrecchia: Yeah. Yeah. And there's but ice cube principle is also something that I'm fascinated with. Because, when we do like 1% better, we don't always see the improvement right away. But the ice cube say, if you start at a hundred degrees below freezing, right, and each day you increase the temperature by one degree each day, another degree, but you're not seeing that ice cube melt yet.
Right. You're not seeing that ice cube melt yet. And it can be frustrating. It's like what? I'm increasing the temperature. Why isn't the ice cube melting you're hundred degrees below zero. So each time you increase, you increase, you increase. And then once you get to two degrees below, zero. Below freezing the next couple of degrees, you increase, it's become a habit it's become easier [00:19:00] to do because you've kept up with that.
Then, then once you go up above freezing that ice cube is going to melt fast. And that is what overnight success looks like.
[00:19:13] Lauren Huges: I love that, that I love that. Yeah, cause it's spot on. Yeah,
[00:19:21] Trina Serrecchia: Lauren. Oh goodness. Thank you so much for joining me today. It has been an absolute pleasure. Where can people learn more about.
[00:19:29] Lauren Huges: Yes. Thank you so much. And thank you so much for having me and I love having honest conversations and it's one of my favorite things to do. So I'm on all the social media just joined TechTalk and so I'm so proud of myself. I it's Lauren Hughes, investor realator and investor on any of the social media platforms.
[00:19:51] Trina Serrecchia: And I'll include the links in the show notes. Perfect Lauren. Thank you again.
[00:19:57] Lauren Huges: Thank you so much for having me.
[00:19:59] Interview End[00:19:59] Close Loop outro
---
[00:19:59] Trina: [00:20:00] next week, I'll be talking with Connie SCA Vela. Connie is a speaker, author and business and strategic advisor. For CEOs and entrepreneurs seeking a quantum leap in their lives and business simultaneously.
An entrepreneur for 17 years with degrees in theology and physics. She has worked with new startups, fortune five hundreds and Inc 500 companies in healthcare, real estate. Education sports, finance, oil and gas, retail ministry hospitality. Entertainment. And Connie, and I will be talking about becoming the difference maker.
Reverse engineering, her success and niching profitably. It's going to be a fantastic episode folks. So tune in next week. You won't want to miss it.
[00:21:00] [00:22:00]
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- Später hören Später hören
WILLO SANA: What you need to do before you can show up powerfully compassionately for others
28 Mär 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
Heart-centered, creative entrepreneurs are needed today more than ever. However, the current atmosphere of oppressive judgment and criticism leads to self-judgment and self-criticism that silences us. That’s why Willo Sana and I are talking about what you need to do BEFORE you can show up powerfully & compassionately for others.
Listen to hear about:
*Self-judgment and making others wrong“Hurt” people hurt peopleWe are shifting our relationship with power and oppressionThe importance to increase our compassionWhat you need to do before you can show up powerfully AND compassionately for others(hint: it’s to have compassion & acceptance for yourself FIRST)Unexpressed creativity creates grief within the bodyRetraining our nervous system to be able to expand beyond our comfort zone
You can learn more about Willo here:
Checkout Willo’s Alignment Quiz to discover what’s needing your attention RIGHT NOW to truly get out of your own way & thrive in your business: https://willolovesyou.com/alignment-quizLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/willolovesyou/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/willolovesyou/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/willolovesyou
*******
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
*********
Would you like to be interviewed on the Field Guide To Awesome Podcast?
Are you a Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?
If so, I'd love to interview you!
Apply to be interviewed here on The Field Guide To Awesome podcast:
https://bit.ly/fg2aguestapplication
You can find me on social media:
Facebook Group: The Field Guide To Awesome Podcast Tribe
www.facebook.com/groups/thefieldguidetoawesomepodcasttribe/
The Field Guide To Awesome: Your Energetic Path To Flow free FB group:
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TRANSCRIPT
78: WILLO SANA What you need to do before you can show up powerfully compassionately for others
===
[00:00:00]
[00:00:00] Trina:
[00:00:56] Intro
---
[00:00:56] Trina: welcome back to the field guide to awesome folks. In my [00:01:00] last episode, I spoke again with Vince Warnock, an award-winning business and marketing strategist, coach author. And host of the chasing the insights podcast. We talked about the entrepreneur's brain's way of saying that you are exactly where you need to be. If you missed it, make sure to go back and check it out.
But don't go yet. Folks. My next guest is Willow Sana. Willow has been a self-employed creative for over 20 years. She's a sought after business coach who empowers visionary entrepreneurs with heart-centered action. And We'll be talking about what you need to do before you can show up powerfully and compassionately for others.
Join me in welcoming, Willow Sana.
[00:01:41] Willo's Interview
---
[00:01:41] Trina: Willow. Thank you so much for joining me again. We had such an amazing conversation last time, and I'm just thrilled that you're back and I'm ready to dig in. Again, there was so much gold in that last conversation.
[00:01:56] Willo: Yeah, me too. I mean, if you, and I could probably talk all [00:02:00] day, but I'm really, really excited to help expand upon that.
Anyone who really got some big sparks and things lit up for them, or they were curious, we are going to dive into it and give some juicy details, right now..
[00:02:12] Trina: Yeah, so, and listeners, one of the things that we talked about last time was canceled culture, the which wound and how it's more important than ever to source within and to speak our truth.
And I'd love to jump in and talk about cancel culture first because cancel culture, it, we see it a lot in politics, but when we look in to the business world, We see entrepreneurs really creative. Heart-centered. Entrepreneurs who are sharing of themselves. I mean, they wouldn't be doing that.
I mean, being an entrepreneur is not the easiest job. There are easier ways to make money, but these entrepreneurs, if they're anything like you, if they're anything like me, they're here to make an impact. And, and this is the only [00:03:00] way that they can see to make the kind of impact that they desire. And so I know from those that I know.
You'll have to tell me if it's the same for you, which I'm pretty sure it is that they're passionate about what they do. They believe in what they do and they're sharing from their heart and they're sharing their truth. And when they go online and it's sad to say that, that there are some out there, who poop on their parade?
Who, who criticized, who cut them down, who try to cancel them because they're not perhaps maybe mainstream or they speak about something that the person who's commenting doesn't understand. How do you see that happening in the [00:04:00] world of social media?
[00:04:03] Willo: Yeah, well, in particular, you hit the nail on the head because one of the things I want to presence here, that's at the root of.
Cancel culture is ultimately judgment. And so often, Brené Brown has that beautiful quote about how, essentially something about being in the arena. Right. And how so often there's people that are, throwing the stones and casting the judgment, but they're not even in the area.
Yeah. I'm no expert on cancel culture, but it is. I always really presents it as, because the thing is, this is that if you are watching and you are watching, possibly leader people, you know, who have been taken down specially, I mean, we've seen this so much as we've, black lives matter.
That's come around. Really being aware of racism amongst, and just the entire thing we've seen with race and really [00:05:00] acknowledging privilege as a white woman. And so lots of white coach, white women coaches have been torn down in the last year or two. Of course white men, me too movement. Right?
It's just, it's across the board. That there's a lot of this. So as we're seeing it, we cannot unsee it. Right. And these little things are living not only in our nervous system, but also in truly our DNA and our ancestry from a long, long time. That's where we linked it to the witch wound. So the one piece I want to presence here is recognizing how often judgment.
Comes from this, like, or cancel culture comes from judgment it's it was absolutely. I think I there's a, a core value that is being triggered for people when they are wanting to stand up for what's. Right. And I get that. I totally get that. And there's a point we've seen where it has gone to.[00:06:00]
Style. And so it's just presencing that even if you're just witnessing it and you are like, you only have a couple of hundred followers on Instagram, or you're just starting your little tiny baby business. These are the things that are all of a sudden making you be like, well, shit, I better not speak up.
I better not actually make waves or that might be me too. And so even though you're mild, Away from that ever happening, you're still being impacted it cause it already, your nervous system is how to, you haven't even gotten to the point of expanding your nervous system to potentially have, I wasn't of followers let alone tens of thousands of followers, but this happens at every level.
There's people also that are at, 10 and 20,000 and they're afraid to go bigger. They're afraid to claim we have many layers, right. That we're peeling off. So, yeah, but just recognizing it, acknowledging that this judgment often is something that I always think about this. When I hear somebody who has a lot of judgment or criticism for others is how much [00:07:00] criticism and judgment they must have for themselves.
[00:07:03] Trina: Yes. You spoke so many powerful things right in there, and I need to unpack some of them. There was so much in there. Okay. So I absolutely love that. You talked about energy, that you talked about judgment because those things go together. When I talk about energy, energy is the ability to do work and work is the ability to create change.
And when you were talking about judgment, judgment limits our view.. It reduces the amount of opportunities we see and the, the opportunities that we can grasp the opportunities are always there right out in front of us offering themselves up to us. But if we can't see them, we can't grab them
[00:07:54] Willo: We're judging other people. Because we [00:08:00] also hold ourselves, we are, we're judging ourselves so harshly and it just spills out. I mean, ultimately, even on some of the work that I do, right, this is the, the villain, the villain wants to point fingers at other people and blame people and make them wrong.
Well, we also have villains that point, our fingers at ourselves. Of what's the matter with you, what's wrong with you. You're not doing this right. You don't know what you're doing. Right. And so there's some element and that's where then we get into this power dynamic, right? Where the ego feels so satisfied by making someone else wrong because that all of a sudden it somehow makes us feel superior or better.
[00:08:43] Trina: Right. Energy is so, interesting in how we judge. Because we can judge at many different levels. And you were just talking about when we judge other people, how are we judging ourselves the same way?[00:09:00]
[00:09:00] Willo: Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it just recognizing that ultimately there's, it's almost like, hurt people, hurt people, you know, there's and, and actually even in this, a lot of what we're seeing is as we're shifting our relationship with power and all of this, there's actually elements of which we're raising massive awareness around oppression yeah. So whether it's your voice has been oppressed, you have been oppressed at a, as a race, as a culture, whatever that may be there is oppression. And I think some of the, kinks that we're working out as people are starting to truly like educate themselves on.
all of us are start having to educate ourselves. We're all seeing new things clearer. We're learning as a, literally a human race together in this. But as we work out those kinks, some of the things that happen is oppressed people, oppress people. They [00:10:00] it's genuinely. And again, I'm not saying. It's not okay to stand up for our rights, and to really care about something that you are willing to like fight for it.
Hell Yes.. Right. It's I think I just have such compassion for the individual at the core of it. And in particular, those who by proxy are seeing this and having it be any kind of an invitation or. red flag for you to stay quiet or stay small. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, wait a second. We need you to actually rise up.
So if I can help you find your voice, speak your truth, feel more confident and grounded within yourself so that you can powerfully show. Heck. Yes. Cause then we're all gonna benefit from
that, right?
[00:10:48] Trina: Yes. Yeah. And it's important to understand that people react from where they are from their experience and to have that compassion when it [00:11:00] is obvious that they're hurting in some way that they're angry in some way.
And knowing. That anger, that hurt is not yours. You have your own, you have your own, but how can you have compassion for them? And when you have compassion for yourself, you'd know what it feels like. So it starts with you first.
[00:11:21] Willo: That's exactly right. Yeah. The core of all of my work is just this deep self-acceptance self-compassion because when you have that for yourself, you're then yeah.
You're not running around blaming other people. You're not. You're going around and judging other people or telling them they're wrong or bad, or just going around and telling yourself that you're wrong or you're bad, or you can't figure this out or whatever those things, all of those are limiting. This is, I know you're jam too.
My eyes are all limiting beliefs and that's genuinely at the core. What is driving so much of this, right? What are the thoughts and the beliefs and the feelings that are creating this [00:12:00] entanglement, right. When our purpose here, the other side, and what's possible is being a conscious, clean, clear beacon of truth.
And that usually when you're in your own lane and you're just like, totally here downloading your message. You're recognizing that it's not for everybody. We cannot be everything for everybody. And you're also recognizing it's going to reach the ears and hearts and the lives of those who need it. And that there's plenty of room.
[00:12:32] Trina: There is plenty of room. People can hear things a million times from a million voices, but the moment that they hear it from you, It will click for them. All of a sudden it will be as if they have never heard it before. And especially not in the way that you shared it and you'll sparkle, you'll sparkle in their eyes.
[00:12:58] Willo: And we're not for everybody, there's [00:13:00] so many messengers out there that you, that people don't, they don't like the message, so they won't even listen to it. Right. And that's the thing I always say to all my clients. I'm like, there's a lot of business coaches out there, but you chose to work with me.
There's a resonance. And there's other people that didn't choose to work with me. And they chose to work with somebody that I would never work with, but they chose to work with them. Right. So I'm not here to be something for everybody. Right. I'm not, I'm not for everyone. And that's okay. But those who are right for me, But those reach you and find you, they're like, oh my God, this is exactly what I was looking for.
And that's beautiful. And there's, like I said, plenty of space. In fact, I wanted to connect this back to what you were saying earlier about judgment. Oh, often judgment is coming for and criticism is coming from a place of not enough scarcity, right? So when we can be living in that overflow of love and acceptance for [00:14:00] ourselves, and then others, not to know this is not a Pollyanna, unicorns and puppies, and everything has to be great spiritual bypassing world, but it's genuinely just recognizing.
If we are not so critical of ourselves and others and, and committed to tearing people down, wow, what else could emerge? What else could be possible in our lives? Right.
[00:14:22] Trina: Absolutely.
Absolutely. And I love that you brought up spiritual bypassing. That is one of the things that is one of my pet peeves.
Where everything is sunshine and roses. The coaches blowing sunshine up your butt and everything is easy. If you think it's easy when they're not tying it back to their own experience, when they're not being authentic, things do get to be easy if you allow them to be easy. But at first they're going to feel.
And it's going to take work [00:15:00] to change how you feel, and you have to go in deep and really do that inner work of shifting how you feel, because you can say money comes to me easily. But if inside, if your gut is feeling like, no, it ain't, all I see is lack, but I'm just saying the words then no money is not going to come to you easily.
It's a full mind, body and emotional tie in.
[00:15:29] Willo: Yeah. And it is. Either the only way is through, to really, we have to truly feel it. I always like to say too, that it's, I mean, this is shadow work ultimately, right. Which is that we've got to be willing to face what is not working. And that means even in the limiting beliefs piece, I know you and I both work with it's like we have to first surface and name and see clearly what are the tapes that have been playing?
What are the [00:16:00] scripts that have been playing that are actually. Usually oppressing you, keeping you small, keeping your voice, damped quiet, keeping your light, from, from shining too bright. Right? So when you can actually recognize what are cause you have unique scripts, yours are unique to you.
Mine are unique to me. We might have some overlap in some but it's genuinely, we have to name those first so that we can start consciously. We have to bring them from the subconscious nonconscious to the current. So we can start hearing them. And then we have the opportunity of rewriting those scripts.
[00:16:32] Trina: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. You can't slap a band-aid on a dirty wound. You can't just slap an affirmation on top of these stories that don't serve us. All right. Don't well, at least they don't serve us in the direction that we want to go, that we desire to go in. Everything that we do say believe serves us in some way, I'm not [00:17:00] perhaps pushing the needle in our business, not making us feel better, but keeping us safe.
And so figuring out what those stories are and, and how they're actually serving us. And do we want that to continue? When we can see one side of it, we can choose to do something different. Without being controlled by those subconscious stories.
[00:17:27] Willo: Yeah, that's right. And exactly, that's exactly what it is. Bringing them to the conscious awareness, such that they're no longer unconsciously driving, but instead you then are creating that, that conscious choice because all of those thoughts and those beliefs, which then have you feeling a certain way, they're all, what connects to the actions or behaviors. Or Inaction as it were, that is how you're, you're showing up or not showing up in the world. And so it's, [00:18:00] it's fascinating too. And I often will share it's inspired another inspired from Brené brown where she talks about how unused creativity is, is really almost like manifest as grief in our bodies
yeah. And that that's huge. If you, if any of you out there have had something knocking on your door, a message coming through, if you haven't listened to it yet, it starts really actually, calcifying in your body and starting to feel really tough. And so it's, we have to, I always like to say. Don't overcook, the baby, right?
It's like, you got to birth that baby out into the world. Like it needs to get out. It's not healthy. It literally it's, it's terrifying and scary. And that birthing process. And even though like, what's going to happen after this baby's out in the world, we don't know all we know as we got to get it out, gotta get it out in the world.
Right.
[00:18:56] Trina: Absolutely. I've absolutely had that experience [00:19:00] myself done is better than perfect. And this was back in early 2021. It was like in may. And I said, I was just sitting there innocently. I think I'll do a summit I'll interview. Some people we'll put it on. It'll be awesome. And then that, then it just started growing from there.
I put out the word, say who, who would like to be on the summit. And I got like these amazing, amazing guests, like over 30 interviews about over a dozen masterclasses out of just like 14 days worth of of summit. And I'll tell you. That was amazing, but it never would have happened if I didn't go with my gut and, and that little curious tickle in my brain saying, huh, maybe I'll do a summit
and it was so fun. It was a lot of work, but it was so much fun. And, and this is what [00:20:00] I'd like to pull back to the conversation about choosing the story changing the narrative from. What has been going on something that doesn't serve us in the direction that we want and making the choice to think, believe, act, feel something different.
Once you understand what the choices you can make it. And at first you're going to have to continue to make that choice every day, sometimes a few times a day, because your habit is conditioned. In story and that is your brain is like, well, I know that I know how to do that. Yeah. But it's not working.
So I'm choosing to do this today. I'm choosing to do this right now. I'm choosing to feel calm right now. I'm choosing to feel bold right now. I'm choosing to speak my truth right now. And that might have to be [00:21:00] a multiple times a day. And if it's work, it's work, but it's worthy work. It's worthy work because you, my audience, you Willow, I am, we are worthy of, of making that commitment to ourselves of unreservedly committing. Devoting ourselves to making that decision every day. And it sounds like a lot of work, but after a while, it becomes our second nature.
[00:21:36] Willo: Well, and this is in my program. What I call like commit and recommit. We think sometimes that we just commit once and that's what commitment is, but commitment is a process of recommitment over and over and over again.
It's the choosing and this is why all the. The frameworks and systems that I have set up in my program are [00:22:00] designed to support us with this, but we have to, you heard me talk a little bit about embodied experience? That's one thing there's also the. Truly our, our vision of what's possible. So when we go out and set big goals and what have you.
And so I have a whole process that I take people through because we have to actually help our nervous system get used to this new thing. Right. We all will stay in our. Our comfort zone. What I like to call the uncomfortable comfort zone, because it's really not comfortable. It's not actually where we want to be, but it just is that the other side, even though that's what we want so bad, and we may even know exactly what it's going to take, there's just something that's stopping us.
Right. And that's the piece that requires the commitment and nervous system. Yeah. And like, to be able to expand your nervous system every single time you realize you're not going to die, that it's going to be okay. That it might feel hard. It might feel [00:23:00] messy, might feel scary, but that every little step of the way, next thing you know, I was talking about this with someone the other day, my in-house house coach of how grateful I am for the fact that I have faced my fears and followed my heart anyway, for so many years now, 20 years that I have so much content, Messed around and hit record and hit, publish all those many times, creating a bunch of different things that now it's so neat that I can go back and I don't care how messy it is, because guess what I can see, even for my self to witness holy cow, I have been preaching this and sending this message through like, I couldn't even.
I couldn't even have stopped if I tried, this is clear, clearly the message that is coming through me and that I am here to do, which has been so affirming. Right? It's like, this is coming through me. All I have to do is get out of my way and that's the same press report. [00:24:00] Yeah, get out of your own way and like, make it happen and realize you won't die.
And if you need support with that, right, you hire a Trina, you hire me and let's actually do this together because the worst thing is not taking action at all. Or letting that those unconscious or even conscious fears stop you dead in your tracks. Right?
[00:24:20] Trina: Absolutely. I mean, you could do this work on your own, but it will willows 20 years.
My 20 years. We can get you past the, you can learn from our fails and get there faster. And one of the things that I've learned with hiring my own coaches You probably felt the same way Willow is that we can't read our own labels from inside our jar.
[00:24:53] Willo: I love that saying. Yeah.
[00:24:54] Trina: We can think, we know what's holding us back, but our subconscious is saying, this is [00:25:00] what's holding you back, but they're not going to tell you the real thing that's holding them back because of that is behind the shield.
Yup.
[00:25:06] Willo: It's tangled up in all your stuff. Right.
[00:25:09] Trina: It's too scary to look at..
[00:25:12] Willo: Yeah. I always say we can't see the forest from the trees cause we're too close to it. It's usually very tangled. And so what I do in my, my, in our work together is we're really untangling these bits where all of a sudden light can start to shine through.
You can start to see. Oh, I can now see the strand clearly. Right. Which you couldn't see it before. And that, that reflection, I mean, I'm just somebody that's like that. And everyone that I hired to support me, I'm a huge fan of support. If I stand on any soap box it's that we all need support. Right. And that every person I now am just so unapologetic about the fact that.
I want people to hold my hand. I don't want to do this alone. And that's a lot of the work that I do with others is like they're prolific creators, absolutely brilliant tuned [00:26:00] in women that I get to work with, but there's no shame in wanting support and they too want to have somebody in it with them to give them that reflection and that guidance and hold their hand.
And heck yes, we all need that. So good,
[00:26:15] Trina: Absolutely absolutely Willow. This conversation has been spectacular. And I can't believe that we have so much more to talk about Willow. I have a feeling that you'll be coming back. .
[00:26:34] Willo: Yeah,
I would love to, I'm going again. We could talk all day. We've just barely scratched the surface then, with our collective 40 years doing this, that there's a lot of stuff that we could deep dive into.
So yeah, I I'd be happy to, I think this is so cool. I would love to hear from anyone who is listening. What has sparked for you, cause I think that's the beautiful thing about sharing ideas like this, and really being able to open up these [00:27:00] doorways. Right? I do the untangling. So some of the light shines through as messengers and all of you who are listening also have your own message coming through.
What are the messages that you have received? Might not even be something we directly said, right? You may have just had a download or an insight or something clicked all of a sudden. So. Would love to hear those from anyone who is listening. You're welcome to reach out to me or reach out to Trina, leave us a comment or leave a review, because that is what is going to help everyone else also be like, oh yes.
Let's keep sharing these with each other. Absolutely.
[00:27:33] Trina: And I love that you mentioned that. So listeners, if, if something really did resonate with you, leave a review and let us know what that was. So the others, as they're looking for insight, as they're looking for inspiration, as they're looking for some kind of support, they'll see your review and they'll know that this is where they need to come.[00:28:00]
[00:28:01] Willo: It's the work I love doing. I know you love it too. So it's, it's really, I've just, I love the quote that is, we're all, we're just here to walk each other home, and like Ram Dass and just how. Beautiful. That is, I really do believe it is so true that, again, coming back to how we are shifting out of the patriarchy, which is really also this, this hierarchy that we don't have to, we are stepping into such more of a collaborative co-creative vibe and nature of the way that we're living in this world that is more of the feminine way.
But it's also just even the healthy masculine as we're stepping into that, because really then through that balance, right of the masculine and feminine, it means that we can have the beautiful structure that loving holding container of support the court so that we can also be wild and free share our voice, share our light and know that we are safe within that container in [00:29:00] this like really sweet, loving, sacred union between the masculine and feminine with that within us, as well as literally within the ecosystem of the world.
[00:29:11] Trina: Oh, that's beautiful. Willow. Thank you so much for being my guest. Thank you so much for this glorious conversation. One of many I hope. Willow, let us know how we can find out more about.
[00:29:33] Willo: Absolutely. So one of the things that really connects to what we were talking about today, that I think you would all love.
If you are all looking for a starting point for unpacking some of this work and really looking at where you might be derailing yourself or where you. I have some of these limiting feelings and beliefs are what needs your attention? I have two resources for you. One [00:30:00] is I have an alignment quiz and this alignment quiz really helps you sort of see what is needing your attention right now.
Right now, this isn't like a personality quiz. That's going to give you, this is who you are forever. It's genuinely like right now, where are you derailed or what. Really needing your support and attention in order for you to break through to that next level. And so that's really insightful. You can, you can find that at willowlovesyou.com slash alignment quiz.
And it, or just Willow loves you.com. You can find it on all, all of my I'm at Willow loves you on everything. There's the alignment quiz. And then there's also, I've got a workshop that is called insourcing versus outsourcing. And this is what I call this is insourcing. In-powerment right. That when we learn to stop giving away our power, outsourcing our approval or permission our worth, what have you.
Right. And you're really [00:31:00] building that from within. This is when you then had become sovereign and in -powered, right. When you can truly, truly be in the, your own agency, which means that you will act on behalf of yourself, you know, how to set better boundaries, right? All of these pieces that you're not afraid of sharing your truth and sharing your voice, even in the face of disappointing another.
Right. This is what I want all women to feel out there, men and women, for sure. But Jen genuinely, this is the piece that when you learn to do this, I want, it's like, I'm, like I said earlier, I'm like not on my watch, man. I'm here to help. As many women rise up as possible. So insourcing versus outsourcing is the workshop.
If you guys want to find that and all of this, you can find that Willo loves you.com. If you can't find it, just reach out to me on Instagram or one of the other platforms I will. I loves you on everything.
[00:31:54] Trina: Awesome. And listeners, the links will be in the podcast notes. [00:32:00] Awesome. Willow again.
[00:32:03] Willo: Thank you.
Thank you, Trina, this is such a joy.
I loved it. I loved meeting you and I love these deep juicy conversations we have. So thank you for doing the amazing work you're doing in the world.
[00:32:15] Outro
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Next week. I'll be talking again with Lauren Hughes, serial entrepreneur, realtor, and investor, currently working on her fifth business. Hugh's capital. She started it last year and she's planning to grow it to be over 10 million within the next five to seven years. Lauren and I will be talking about radical. Self-acceptance what she thought was a weakness and how it became her superpower.
These are seven figure secrets people. It's going to be a fantastic episode. So tune in next week, you won't want to miss it.
[00:33:00] [00:34:00]
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Vince Warnock: The Entrepreneur brain’s way of saying you are exactly where you need to be
22 Mär 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
This week I'm talking again with Vince Warnock. Vince Warnock is an award-winning Business and Marketing Strategist, coach, author, and host of the Chasing the Insights podcast.
An ex-radio announcer with over 20 years in marketing. Vince has been recognized by his peers with numerous awards including being named a Fearless50, a program designed by Adobe to recognize the top 50 marketers in the world who drive bold, fearless marketing and digital transformation.
Previously the CMO at Cigna, Vince has founded multiple companies including the Chasing the Insights Academy where he empowers entrepreneurs and business owners to make sense of marketing and grow the business they have always dreamed of.
We talk about:
The mental health challenges that being an Entrepreneur presentsImposter Syndrome - that feeling like I don’t belong, I don’t deserve this, people will find out that I’m making up as I go alongThe common unhealthy view of successLearning that you aren’t alone - MANY highly successful people feel the same wayHow we self-sabotage, shut down and go darkThe value of mentors and peers who call you out and support youEntrepreneurs should be out of our comfort zone You don’t get success and prosperity in your comfort zoneThe discomfort you feel when out of your comfort zone is your brain’s way of telling you you are right where you need to be.When you are a “new” entrepreneur you don’t know what you don’t know (this is a bit of a blessing)Curiosity is an entrepreneur superpowerThe pivotal moment where he learned that by understanding others can transform your impact.How he learned his heroes were human and what that made possibleAll the best and most successful coaches and entrepreneurs have coaches - having support does not make you “less” We need to reframe asking for help as a successand so much more!
You can learn more about Vince here:
Website: https://chasingtheinsights.comLinked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vdub01/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chasingtheinsights/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vdub01/
Media outlets:
CIO Magazine, Yahoo Finance, Bloomberg, Forbes, TechCrunch, and many many podcasts
Vince is offering a Free Marketing Strategy Call:
Not sure what sets you apart from everyone else?Unsure if your website is best set to convert your customers?Want someone to look over your messaging or pitch?
This is where I come in. I want to help you get a sense of clarity.
Book here:
https://chasingtheinsights.com/free-strategy-call/
******
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
*********
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Are you a Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?
If so, I'd love to interview you!
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77: Vince Warnock: The Entrepreneur brains way of saying you are exactly where you need to be
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welcome back to the field guide to awesome folks. In my last [00:01:00] episode, I spoke again with Claire sweet about why we need to talk about money and how creating a flexible life prevents the biggest end of life regret. If you missed it, make sure to go back and check it out.
But don't go yet. Folks. My next guest is Vince Warnock. And we're talking about the entrepreneur's brain's way of saying that you are exactly where you need to be. Vince Warnock is an award-winning business and marketing strategist, coach, author, and host of chasing the insights podcast. An X radio announcer with over 20 years in marketing, Vince has been recognized by his peers with numerous awards, including being named. A fearless 50, A, program designed by Adobe to recognize the top 50 marketers in the world who drive bold, fearless marketing and digital transformation.
Previously the CMO at Cigna Vince has founded multiple companies, including the chasing the insights academy, where he empowers entrepreneurs and business owners to [00:02:00] make sense of marketing and grow the business they have always dreamed of. Join me in welcoming vince warnock
Trina: So whew!, all right, this conversation is just amazing. I wanted to ask you. A couple of things we haven't gotten to either of the two things that we said we were going to talk about, but we talked to
Vince Warnock: them so much gold.
Yeah. As soon as you and I started talking, this is going to be like five hour long episode.
Trina: Ah, all right. So I want to pop in and talk about some of the mental health challenges that being an entrepreneur can present because and I know that one of them, which is a combination of mental health challenges is imposter syndrome.
And that's one of the things that I'm passionate about. And I know you are too , Vince.
Vince Warnock: Yeah, no, I always say imposter syndrome is my old, old friend. And yeah, for those. I'm pretty sure every entrepreneur [00:03:00] knows what imposter syndrome is, but every now and then you find some of the doesn't and it is just that feeling. Isn't it of, I don't belong here. I don't deserve what this is and people are gonna find out I'm a complete, and utter fraud. They're going to find out I'm making this up as they go along. And when you grow up in a family where you don't have role models, you don't have people like anybody. Basically, when I was a kid, anyone who had success was the enemy because my parents would look at anybody that had made money and go, well, they obviously don't deserve that money.
We do, but we never get the opportunity, which is a really unhealthy view around money and success and
Trina: things.
I think it is quite common.
Sadly, I think you're right. Yeah. But it was, it was really difficult growing up in there. And I had to break through that myself. And as a result, anytime that you succeed, you feel like you don't belong there.
I feel like I'm an imposter of these scenarios. And I remember early on I, I was I was quite young back in the day, as my son says, when it's black and white, you know? But I went to, I went to gets to this business breakfast and they had one of the heads of Adobe speaking, there, for Oceania [00:04:00] and, and he was going to be talking about his journey and how success comes, all this kind of stuff.
And I'm like, oh my goodness , first of all, I had no money. Right. I was real young businessperson. I had no money whatsoever. So I'm going somewhere with this free food and free drink. I'm like, yes, sign me up. I'm going to eat and drink everything, but also get to hear from this legend. And I'm like, right. So I knew if I'm going to this business breakfast I'm going to have to dress up.
I didn't own a suit. I, in fact, basically. Jeans or track pants and a t-shirt was pretty much all I ever owned. So I went down to a Goodwill shop and down to a secondhand shop and I found a suit there for $10. It was disgusting. It was gray. Like this light shiny gray, it was double breasts. I had no idea what fashion was back then.
Um, my daughter would argue, I still don't. So I bought this suit there. It was ill fitting. Like honestly, the sleeves went down to my lower knuckles. It was, it was horrible. And I had a long hair at the time, which I turned up at, tied up in a ponytail. So nothing about this scream, success or, or fashion or anything whatsoever.
But I turned up at the [00:05:00] Event and the second I walked down and I went, what am I doing here? I stand out like a sore thumb. I don't belong here. Everybody else looks like they do belong here. I sat at this table that were allocated for, I got my food and everything, and I was enjoying the food and I thought, you know what, screw it.
I'm just going to enjoy the food. And obviously this is not for me, but you know, I'm going to do this. And I remember looking around the table and in my mind, like picture it right now. It just looks like everybody's wearing Armani suits or Tom Fords. Everyone looked distinguished and I'm here in this tacky, shiny gray piece of crap.
So I'm like, no. So I felt like a complete outsider. And anyway, the speaker got up and he shared his journey and, oh my goodness. It was inspiring. Like really was. And I just loved it. I'm like, I want to be the sky I want to, I want his life. Why can't I have that? There's a new company, cars a brand new Audi and this is way back then, and I was just like, oh man. And at the end of his presentation, he went around to every table and he asked the same question, which has, have you got any questions? And I heard him a couple tables away and I'm like, right. And I remember this, I can still picture it. This conversation right [00:06:00] here. My brain goes, OK, Vinny,, listen up.
You have a one shot man. One shot to ask something intelligent to at least like, look like you're partially belong here. And then we got one shot. You got one shot. That's don't let me down. I won't let you down. I will leave that. Okay. Yeah. I turned around and realize he's standing right next to me. And he goes, have you got any questions?
And then my mouth does this thing where I just speak words. And then my brain kicks in afterwards and I just went, oh, at what point did you know, you'd made it? And my brain just went you moron. And I looked around the table and there's a lot of people rolling their eyes, like, amateur question.
And I was like, ah, damn it. And he just turned around and he shocked me. Just said, actually, that's a very good question. Knowing what my brain was like, walking out the door, just went, wait, what? Come back. And he said, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. And the moment you hear that from someone successful.
You're like, if I'm hearing a secret from someone successful, I'm writing this stuff down. So I grabbed my peanut paper and he told me, he goes, I've got this morning routine. I go through events and I'm like, I've heard that morning routines are really important. So I started writing down every word out of his mouth.
He gets [00:07:00] every morning I get up deliberately early and I'm like, Ooh, I like this deliberately early. And he says, ah, I get out of bed. And I go to the bathroom. I said, interesting, not the kitchen straight to the bathroom. Gotcha. And he goes, I fill up the sink with cold water and I'm like, Hmm. So I ask him what temperature exactly is already in cold water.
Yes. Yeah. And I fill out the single cold water. I splashed that water on my face. I look in the mirror and I go, ha today's the day they find out you're a fraud. And I went, what? And he goes, I've never felt like a success. I've never felt like I fit in that's. He said most of us, he indicated around the table.
He said, most of us feel the exact same. And I looked at these people that I felt like I didn't belong with a lot of the, all these people that I was looking up to essentially at this table. And they're all nodding as well. And I was like, oh my goodness. And that's when I realized a couple of things.
First of all, we're all as much of a hot mess as each other. And I realized that I had judged all these people as being these perfect business people, these like super successful people, but all of them [00:08:00] felt like they didn't belong. What's up with that. And that made me also realize that actually exposing that thinking really helped me, but also, I mean, I had as much right to be at that table as everybody else.
Um, now I'd love to say that that kind of cured imposter syndrome and everything. Obviously I struggled with that for the rest of my career. Even when I published my first book Trina, that was the emotional roller coaster I was talking about was I should've felt amazing publishing that book. Right.
Vince Warnock: I poured my heart and soul and sweat and blood into that book.
Trina: How'd you feel, instead?
Vince Warnock: I was depressed. Because I went to the book launch, everyone said, don't do a book launch. I'm like, oh, I'm a Marketer, hold my beer. So went into this book, launch, got a hundred people there to sign copies. It was an amazing atmosphere. It was a beautiful event.
Everyone was so supportive, but people kept telling me I can't wait to read the book and that stage. Yeah. And I felt very vulnerable and very exposed. And
I really,
Trina: You write a book, then think...Oh shit, they might read it.
Vince Warnock: I know, I know. I know. So I went to bed that night. I should have been, cause I'm a high extrovert when I'm around that many [00:09:00] people, I should be buzzing all night, but no, I was, I couldn't sleep in the bad way.
And I had these conversations going over and over my head saying, who do you think you are? What makes you think you have the right to write about what makes you think anyone wants to read this rubbish ? In fact, they're going to read it and think what an amateur. So in the morning I made a dumb decision.
I decided that I was going to sabotage myself. Because I had lined up interviews with Forbes, with CIO magazine Diginomica they all wanted to profile me in my book and I'm like, ah, so I contact them all and said, look, super appreciate it. But I'm way too busy at the moment, which was a lie I could have made it.
I was really busy, but I could have made the time for this. And I went back, I didn't talk about it on social. I turned down any press. I just didn't want to talk about my book anymore. And it wasn't until I got called out by one of my mentors. And he's the type of mentor by the way that he doesn't call you. You've got to book time with him. But he called me out of the blue and he said, look, I'm just checking in on you. How's the book sales going? I told him, he was like, oh, okay, good numbers. But I haven't seen [00:10:00] anything at the events. Like you've gone down, there's no social posts.
It's no press what's going on. And I said, oh, you know, it's all good. I'm just relying on word of mouth. Cause I'm so busy. And he goes, yeah, No he called me out, but he said to me like, now this is a guy, by the way, who's an eight times best-selling author and I'm not doing an Amazon business. I'm talking New York times bestselling author.
Right. Every book he puts out there just goes ballistic. And I've, I've really, really like this. Guy's a legend. And he, he said to me, I'm going to tell you the process. I go through every single time I publish a book and I'm like, oh, okay. And then you just relayed my story back to me the same, self-doubt the same Imposter syndrome, the same everything I'm getting, but that doesn't make sense.
Cause you're so successful. And he goes, I never feel like I'm successful. And that's when I realized that talking about this as really, really important, this is why I'm writing a book on it at the moment is actually the more we talk about an imposter and the more we shine light on it, more we realize something and that's something.
Why Imposter Syndrom isn't a "Bad" thing...
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Vince Warnock: That it's not actually a bad thing. And this is a crazy thought, but bear with me when I say this imposter [00:11:00] syndrome in itself, isn't actually bad. If you look at what it is, all it is is your brain going, Hey Trina, Hey Vince, Hey listeners. You're outside of your comfort zone right now. You're in fact, you're way out of your comfort zone and I want to keep you safe.
So I'm going to use fear to get you come running back to me so I can wrap you up in my arms and keep you nice and comfy and cozy. Now the problem with that is we're entrepreneurs. You know, when we talk about the fact that we're worried that we're making this up as, we go along, guess what? We are making them up as we go along, this is exactly what we should be doing.
We should be out of our comfort zone.
Trina: Oh my God. I absolutely love this. And it is absolutely true. We are a little bit of the imposter because we're making, we're creating something that hasn't been created before.
Vince Warnock: And that's a good thing. Yeah. But we don't get breakthrough in your comfort zone. You don't get success and prosperity and your comfort zone, you get it outside of there.
So when you can recognize that, that's when that's, when something interesting happens, because you realize that imposter syndrome itself is just a bunch of signals from your brain to [00:12:00] say, you're outside of your comfort zone. So in other words, it's your brain go, Hey, guess what? You're exactly where you need to be.
Well done, and you get to choose what to do, what you want with that information. So you can either choose to do what I did, which is sabotage myself and go, okay, I'm going to run from those feelings or you get to reframe it and go, you know what brain really appreciate you. I appreciate you telling me I'm exactly where I need to be.
I know you worried about this, but you know what? I've got this I'm good at this. It's okay. So hi, honestly, imposter syndrome strikes every entrepreneur, unless you're a sociopath and then you're probably okay.
Trina: Or very new. I remember being very new and just not knowing. Wasn't I'm using air quotes, listeners, what isn't supposed to be possible, and I'm going to do, and people saying it's not possible.
It's like, but I'm doing it. It's actually happening. I wasn't already, pre-programmed pre programmed that it wasn't [00:13:00] supposed to get done. And so then you get some more experience under the belt and you realize that, Hey, there's this entrepreneurial thing and I can do it. And, but now, you know, The trip wires and the falls and the, and the scary things and what could actually happen if you fail and then what could possibly happen if you succeed.
And that's scary too.
Vince Warnock: Well, you know what it's like? Cause I was talking about this concept of curiosity, which is one of the superpowers of every entrepreneur. But we are born curious, we're born without limits. If you think about it, right when we were a kid and anyone who's a parent knows this, every question when you get, why, why, why, why, why until you like, ah, because I said so, but they born naturally curious the problem with it is if we get it beaten out of us and what, by that, I mean, we get to the point where we go. If I ask a question about that, someone's going to judge me on that. Think you probably should know that by now or someone's going to go, why you dumb?
Trina: And they're going to ask that question because either they don't know [00:14:00] themselves and they can't answer the question or they're intimidated because. They have their own fears. They have their own lack of understanding of how important they are or how valuable they are.
Vince Warnock: I said, I still remember Trina. So I used to work at a not-for-profit called education in New Zealand and the government looked at it and went, Hey, you guys are just smashing it with all the money we give you, but we've got these government departments that are failing with the money we give them.
So we're going to, we're going to bind you all together and create what's called a crown agency, which is a new government department here. And I'm like, wait, I now work for government. Oh man. But we're bringing these companies together and we didn't have an IT person there, but I was the person who knew how to turn on the computer.
So even though I'm the marketing guy, I was also the proxy IT guy. So I'm sitting in this room for these super nerdy IT people, and I'm a nerd myself. But they were talking about these systems and these things that we need to set up in a new environment because we've got a new building, we've got to bring all the computers in and they were talking about this SRB, [00:15:00] something, something, something system.
And I'm, I'm no idea what that is. So I asked the question, I said, oh, sorry, can someone explain to me what the SRB system is? You all keep saying, we need this, but I don't know what it actually does. And around the room that everybody did the same thing. They'll roll their eyes and go, oh, like you don't know.
And I'm like, I'm sorry, guys. I didn't grow up in your environment. You know, I'm, I'm actually a marketing guy. I'm fulfilling this roles. I'm here, as part of this. So you're going to have to work with me here. Just, I know I'm dumb around this, but, and they were like, oh, well, let's see.
So what does it actually do? Art? It's hard to explain. Well, humor me explain it, no, not a single person and funniest part of it. It was something that this project group for the last 10 years, every time they set up a new agency or set up a new thing, we're bringing the system with it because obviously we need to pay for that.
We need to bring it on board, but no one had actually used it for the last 10 years. They were just implementing it to all these organizations and it had no function, but no one knew that. And nobody questioned it. Took it dumb, guy coming in there going, I don't know what I'm doing then, then. [00:16:00] Maybe we don't actually need this.
So, oh, it was the best feeling ever. Honestly,
Trina: the curiosity, the beginner's mind because frequently we have our habits of acting our habits of believing. This is what has always been done in business or what has always been done in my life. This is how I've always done it.
That's not a good enough answer anymore. Especially not if you want something different than what you already have.
Vince Warnock: Yeah. Oh, you've just got to get curious honestly, and not just in business as well. I genuinely do believe. That if we can get curious in every aspect of our life, we're just going to become better people.
And if you look at, I mean, the world's a mess in the moment. If we get really honest about it, the world's a mess. You got pandemics everywhere. You've got, political and social divides. You've got people who don't want to talk to others. But if we got really curious and tried to understand people, try to ask questions that would normally embarrass ourselves.
Like, I don't understand why that is, please explain then honestly, you will [00:17:00] start to grow as an individual. And I, I remember this is something that from my childhood where, so growing up in an abusive house, School for me was a happy place, right? So it was a place where I was always, I was safe until I got to that age 11.
It was quite a pivotal year for me. Then I went to a transitional school. It's called an intermediate, which has just two years, 11 and 12, before you go off to high school. And I'm at this intermediate and I encountered something in the classroom that I've never come across before, other than at home.
And that was a bully. And this guy made my life hell for two years, I had no safe space anymore. I was tormented at home. I was tormented at school. I was, I didn't even want to exist. I thought it was an alien for a long time. I thought somehow someone's going to come and rescue me and take me off the stupid planet.
It was horrible. But then when I got to age , 12 were in their last year intermediate or found out that he was going to a different high school and I'm like, yes, I am free. So I went to mine, he went to his, there was all good. Never had to see him again in my life, but also realize I was sick of being a victim.
And I was [00:18:00] sick of people being able to take advantage of me. So I threw myself into learning how to box and handling, learning how to do martial arts and do that for a number of years. And I would train every single day. And I wasn't, I wouldn't say I'm any good at it, but enough to be able to defend myself.
Definitely. Yeah. And age I think it was just about 17 I'm at school and I found out he got transferred back to my school. And I'm like, oh my goodness. I had seen every eighties movie. I'd seen all the revenge of the nerds, all these things about the underdog. Finally coming out on top of like, this is going to be a glorious day.
I could play it out of my head. I knew what was going to happen and sure enough, he walks past me and I'm like, so I yelled his name and a few expletives and I knew what was going to happen. He turned around, he took a swing at me and I'm like nope to another swing at me I'm like "Ha, ha, ha!", and then finally I laid him out.
I, and I'm not a violent person at all. In fact, I abhore violence, but I hit him, knocked him out. He was on the ground unconscious. And this moment where the underdog finally came down on top of him, like, yes, except I felt terrible. [00:19:00] Yeah. And I remember suddenly finding myself in the principal's office, which funny enough is what happened when you fight
and I'm there with the principal and he turns to me and he said, look, do you know why he got transferred to the school? And I said, no, I don't care. I'm trying to be all staunch. You know, I'm not very good staunch person, "I don't care". And he goes, well, you probably should care. I mean, oh. And he said he started explaining this, this guy's back story in his life.
And he said, look, he grew up in an abusive household, I'm thinking Yeah same. So what, he goes so much so that his dad used to beat him, his mum and his sister every day, since he was a baby. And recently what happened was the father beat the mother so badly in front of the two children that she actually passed away.
So he murdered the mom in front of the two of them now, rightfully he got arrested and he went to jail, which is great. And they went to stay with an auntie and uncle and their, and the auntie and uncle were closer to our school. And that's when he got transferred there. And I was like, but I didn't know that.
And he goes, no. And I wouldn't expect you to know that Vince, he goes, but funny enough of all the people that I thought might [00:20:00] understand what he went through. And all the people that might've been able to actually talk to them about that you were the one. And that's when I had this big revelation that I'm not the hero in the story.
I'm not the underdog coming out on top. And by the way, all those eighties movies lied to us. Like they are horrible movies. But an extra fact, I'm the villain of this story because I'm the one person that had the opportunity now, not, I'm not saying I would have turned his life around anything.
He may not have chosen to talk to me about these things, but I had the opportunity to be there for him. If I had taken the time to try and understand why he behaves the way he does, why he was doing what he does. And that's when I realized we just have to understand each other, we have to get super curious and in doing so, by the way, your businesses will grow, your connections will grow.
You will understand people a lot more deeply. You understand yourself more deeply. You'll just be a better human being. So we just have to do that.
Trina: Amen and amen, Vince, you're speaking, you're speaking the truth.[00:21:00]
When you work on yourself, when you know why, when you go into the depths and you understand yourself more and how you respond and know that you're safe, you have the ability to be curious and to ask and to stop mind reading, because it's not mind reading, you're actually putting thoughts into your, putting your thoughts and your thinking.
Other people are thinking your thoughts and they're not, and, and when we to pull it back to imposter syndrome, I think we often go into a room or an environment or a niche thinking everybody already knows what we know. And we know such a small portion of. Yep. When instead what it, we know we have like this vast well of knowledge and we know a little bit about everything and everybody knows a little bit about what we [00:22:00] have, but there's the magic that, that you bring to your industry, whatever that is.
Vince Warnock: I'll tell you something I found interesting, Trina. So getting recognized by Adobe as one of the top 50 marketers is an interesting thing. When you suffer from imposter syndrome, by the way, because I'm sitting there again, I could list, I could run a list of a hundred people, more talented than me. What are you on about?
And then they, so how it kind of played out was Adobe had this big conference, they asked me to speak at it and I said, yep. So they're going to fly me to San Francisco business class, five star hotel, all the whole shebang. And I went, No, I can't do that. I'll come and speak at your conference, but I'll pay my own way because I was chief marketing officer.
I didn't want anyone to think there's conflict of interest. Luckily Cigna found out about it and they're like, this is a massive opportunity. We'll pay for it. I'm like, yes, back to business class. I couldn't justify it otherwise. Yeah. They adamant with me. You have to come and speak at this conference.
I'm like, yeah. Okay, chill. I'm going to be there. So finally I get over to this conference and they, the way they structured it, they had 25 keynotes plus what they call celebrity [00:23:00] keynotes. So the celebrities were like Jamie Fox. They had. Flo rider, some Olympic athletes, and this is amazing. You get to hobnob with all these people.
It's like, this is awesome. Every one of my heroes, I realize those 25 keynotes I'm to me, I'm the one that stands out here. I'm the, I'm the sore thumb, because I had Brian solace and Henry I think Seth Goden was it. Incredible speakers. I'm like, this is going to be awesome. I get to hear them all. And then we got there and then they turned around that day, they opened up the conference and then the CEO came out and he's like, welcome to the conference, blah blah.
And he said, we've got a very special thing that we're launching here because there's, there's a reason that we've got these 25 people as the keynotes. And I'm like, huh. And he goes, because these are part of our new program where we recognize the top 50 marketers in the world. We've chosen the top 25 of those, but I'm like, oh, there must be 25.
And me and I really, my brain did not cope. It really didn't cope with this very well at all. I was really, I was struggling with this whole concept, but then it got even worse because he goes, and I really want to highlight three of those that I think [00:24:00] are challenging the industry in the right way. And he goes in the first, it was all the way from New Zealand.
I'm like, oh, another Kiwi. And then suddenly I see my face on the screen. That Kiwi looks exactly like me and then my name come up, knowing what the hell he's got the same name as me. Like my brain's just disengaging, but it was because of the work I've done around morality and ethics, ethics to marketing, and actually challenging the industry to be decent custodians of care, you know, for, for people that we market to.
And I'm like, oh man. So some at this conference, I'm getting recognized, I'm struggling with this, but I got to go out to dinner with all of my heroes. I got to hear them speak. And it was, it was better than I even thought. Like honestly, Brian solace blew my mind and handy was just one of the sweetest people ever.
Seth Goden, anytime you get to hear him, he's like, yeah so I'm just like, this is incredible. And I've got to go out to dinner with these people. And the more that you start talking to them, the more you start drinking lots of whiskey, by the way, love my whiskey also found that Americans I'm sorry, but Americans, a lightweight drinkers compared to Kiwis, putting it out there.
We can drink all the top shelf stuff and you guys are on the floor, [00:25:00] sucking the air again.
But the more, the more we were, well, we were getting into this center. It was just such a wonderful time. Some of the sweetest people ever, but they started opening up about their problems. And when they start talking about relationships, falling apart, struggling, financially, all these kinds of things were coming out and I'm going, but these are the people I look up to.
These are the people that I want to be. And weirdly they're as much of a hot mess as I am. And that's what I realized. None of us are really that different. All of us are dealing with things. All of us have our own struggles and our own stuff. So why don't we just actually try and support each other? Why don't we talk about this kind of stuff?
Why don't we be honest about I had this with a peer of mine in the UK. She was really struggling. At one point, she went kind of dark on me and I'm like, Hey, hang on, jump on zoom. She's not up to zoom. Haven't done my hair and makeup , and I'm like ha! Neither have I..
So I finally got her on a zoom call and she just burst into tears and said, look, I'm just really ashamed. I'm really embarrassed. I've been asked to put together this [00:26:00] this press release for Forbes. I've been asked to put together this quote for the slash corporate over here, but I procrastinated so much on both of those because I was overwhelmed that now I'm at the point where I'm really embarrassed and really ashamed.
And so I'm avoiding all of the calls. I'm avoiding all of their emails. And I was like, oh man, I did that last week. And she was like, what I said, yeah, that happens to me all the time. But you know, I'm not surprised. And then we realized that by talking about it with each other, we remove the shame from it.
We removed our assessment and we realize, hang on a minute, this can't be then uncommon. So we started asking other entrepreneurs and sure. Just about everybody started with struggles with the same thing, but we don't talk about it because of that embarrassment. So yeah, we're all,
that was one of the questions that I was going to bring up eventually was because all of my questions have gone out the window.
The conversation has been amazing. But absolutely imposter syndrome that the guilt for. Stepping away from what isn't working for you, [00:27:00] the embarrassment is like, you know, this, isn't making me happy and how does this, how dare this, where I am not make me happy, look at where I am. Anybody else who would be here would be thrilled.
And if I gave this up, people would think I'm crazy. And then getting to the point of, being recognized or something and like thinking I, I can't even go forward with this and finding subtle ways to self-sabotage and not asking for help. I think this is a common thing. For pretty much everyone who has a certain degree of success.
Yeah. You know, can I ask for help? Because if I ask for help, that means I'm not successful or that means that has some kind of story.
Yeah, we totally need to reframe that though, because, and I know, you know this as well, but yeah, it's this weird mentality we have that if we, if we asked for help, we're failing or if we ask for help, then you know, we can't do an actual fact.
I'll tell you now. And this is the weird [00:28:00] thing. So I always talk to people about getting a coach and yes, I'm biased because I am a coach and you're some awesome ones. So if you want one, Hey, you know, but the fact is everybody should, every business, every entrepreneur or business person should have a coach.
And the reason is because guess what? All of the top coaches have coaches all the top entrepreneurs have coaches are. Yeah, exactly. Richard Branson has multiple coaches. I know for a fact, I know that Russell Brunson, he's got his own ones, I'm trying to think about the high profile names.
I know Seth Godin has at least two mentors and two coaches that speak into his life. There's all these people that have. All the support. And yet we think if we do that for ourselves, it makes us less, or it takes away from us the best entrepreneurs, the most successful people surround themselves with those that can help and ask for that help, which means we need to reframe asking from help, asking for help is weakness or failure.
And actually as a success, in fact, we should be asking for it more often and getting advice more often as well.
I agree. [00:29:00] I agree. Nobody has nobody is an island. It was a cliche. When you look at the most successful people, they did not do it. Yeah, they may have been the figurehead, but they did not do it alone.
Yeah. And, and having those people speak India as well as really important because I mean the civil multiple purposes, I, I, so I have two coaches and I have an accountability coach and I've got four peer coaches where we coach each other and help each other out. And honestly, that's probably the best relationships of all, because you get to send a quick message going.
And they're like, quick jump on zoom. I remember doing that. I had a summit where one of my VAs just went Mia, like honestly, and just lift me in the lurch. And I had to do everything myself while trying to move house into this place while also preparing for a wedding for a friend of ours, all this stuff and, and watching my group program.
So all of this happening at the same time, and I had to fulfill their roles. Couldn't just hand it over to someone straight away, the whole policy stuff behind it. And I was just like, oh my goodness, this, this is not, [00:30:00] this is nuts. And I hit the wall one night where I had to get this email out and I was trying to, trying to think of the wording.
And I just went by. And I just seen it. So is to one of my peer coaches and just said help. And she's like, what's up? And I said, I'm trying to wipe words, English not good, tired out. Now she goes, jump on zoom. And we co-wrote that. And I tell you now she didn't look at me as a failure at all. She didn't look at me and go, oh, I can't believe that's going to do this.
She was like, I'm so glad I got to help. I'm so glad I got to be part of this as well. And then I returned the favor. I see many times where as well, but it's that whole thing of, I surround myself with these people and I can tell you now I wouldn't be where I am. If I didn't have these people surrounding me, because they will, they will encourage you when you hit the wall and you're going to hit the wall a lot.
You're an entrepreneur. That means you have days where you're crushing it. And days where you're like, I can't get out of bed. These are the people that get you out, be in a case, they remind you why you're doing what you're doing, but they also see your blind spots. They see the areas that you don't even know are problematic and they call you [00:31:00] out on that.
And they bolster the areas where you're weaker as well. And more than that, they're just become ridiculous friends. So just got to do it anyway.
Trina: Yeah. Well, yeah, it's the power of community and creating your own community, creating your own little mastermind. That's beautiful. Yeah. Listeners, if you don't have a community of peers who are on the same journey in some degree or another, I encourage you to find one.
I know that I've had made the biggest growth as when being part of a community when I'm surrounded by people who are on a similar journey, because family, friends, strangers on Facebook, that they do not understand what you're going through, what you're experiencing, what your struggles are. And when you have those peers, you can just say a few words [00:32:00] and they will know exactly where you're coming from and be able to support you.
And you will be able to do the same for
Vince Warnock: them. Definitely. It's super important. And it's funny because family and friends is a really good example of it. They mean? Well, like family and friends. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But the thing is they can't see your vision. They've never been where you're going. And this is why you get people that have been where you're going, you know, because they were, their thing is I want to protect you.
So therefore, that's never going to work. What are you doing? Come on trainer. You're never going to be successful if you do that,
Trina: your inner critic on the outside of your body.
Vince Warnock: Yeah, exactly. So you want to surround yourself with people that have been there, done that and go TriNet. You're on the right track.
Please keep doing.
Trina: Yeah. Awesome. Yeah. And for the family, just tell them it's going to be okay.
Vince Warnock: I got this. Yeah, I got this. I know what I'm doing. Yeah. Or come and talk to me when you've done this before one doesn't go down well at dinner parties.
Trina: Well, [00:33:00] Vince, this has been an absolute pleasure. You mentioned during our conversation that you have at least what four new books coming out.
Vince Warnock: Yes. I've got two new books coming out in December and as well as republishing my first book, because I made some changes to it. And then two other books which are going to be published in January and then another two by the end of 20, 22 and two children's books as well. Cause I love just the cheesy dad jokes that are in there
Trina: Vince, this conversation we could go on for hours, but I want to respect your time.
And would you be willing to come back for another interview? At some point,
Vince Warnock: Ahhh, let me
think about that for more than two seconds. Of course I would come on, any time with you Trina is devine..
Trina: Fantastic. Because it's an absolute pleasure. There's nothing but gold that happens during our conversations. [00:34:00] And it's been that way from the very beginning, which was not that long. And I expect it to continue. So this has been an absolute pleasure having you. How can people find out more about you, Vince?
Oh, man, I made this so complex, nasty marketing expert. Exactly. Just go to Chasingtheinsights.com. You'll see a few things on their pages. Obviously the home of my podcast and that's the home of my books.
But you'll see on there, two things really important. One. I link to all my social networks. So just connect with me everywhere, unless you're a spammer, don't connect with me if you're a spammer. Cause I don't like that, but everybody else feel free to reach out to me. But also you'll see a link to where you can book a free strategy call with me.
If you have any area of marketing where you're really struggling or imposter syndrome or anything like that. And just book some time with me, they are no obligation whatsoever. In fact, like I said, nine times out of 10, I'm going to forget to tell you about what I do anyway. So it's really just there to serve you.
Vince Warnock: I'm on a massive mission Trina. Help as many entrepreneurs as I possibly can. I [00:35:00] just think it's a high calling. I think it's something that's really special as the backbone of our economy and entrepreneurs of just bad ass. Awesome individuals. Yeah.
That's a beautiful end listeners. Those links will be in the show notes.
Thank you again, Vince. It has been an absolute pleasure and honor to have this conversation with you.
I see. We just have to do this again and this time we'll bring, I'll bring some whiskey and we'll make them out of it. Yeah. Sounds good. Yeah.
Insert close loop outro here
---
next week. I'll be talking again with Willow Sana. A self-employed creative for over 20 years and sought after business coach who empowers visionary entrepreneurs with heart-centered action. About what you need to do before you can show up powerfully and compassionately for others. It's going to be a fantastic episode so tune in next week folks you don't want to miss it
[00:36:00] [00:37:00]
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76: Claire Sweet: Why we need to talk about money, and how creating a flexible life prevents the biggest end of life regret
15 Mär 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
This week, I talk again with Claire Sweet
Claire Sweet is an award-winning Financial Adviser, Money Coach, and International Best Selling Author, who has a thriving business and is regularly asked to speak on BBC Radio Kent as an expert in her field.
She is a popular keynote speaker and it is her mission to encourage women to build the dream life they really want, by creating a plan and taking action on it!
Claire has a vibrant business, employing 4 staff, and has been helping clients organize their finances for more than 14 years. Known for her approachable but straight-talking manner she helps her clients to see their vision come to life in a way that ensures they have an amazing quality of life along the way.
Now having moved to their 'forever house' on a 4.5 acre plot, Claire and her husband Phil, love spending their time outside with their small herd of alpacas.
Listen in to hear about:
Why we don’t like to talk about moneyShame around moneyThe biggest stress for business owners is that biz income varies month to monthValues & priorities are different for entrepreneurs: “Enjoying the journey”Preventing the biggest end of life regretCreating a flexible life
You can learn more about Claire Sweet here:
message me here >> https://m.me/ClaireSweet01YouTube >> https://bit.ly/ClaireSweetYouTubeFacebook >> https://www.facebook.com/peacetogethermoneycoachInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/peacetogethermoneycoach/
Telegraph, Guardian, BBC, Sheerluxe, Mirror, Work in progress podcast (plus many others), Speaker at Womanifest 2019. This girl is on fire, plus grown up podcast.
Claire’s {FREE} Guide: "6 Reasons Your Successful Business Feels Like it's Running Out Of Money"
Turnover's great...but there's never any money?!
Get your free guide now + discover 6 simple ways to transform your cashflow!
Tips from a qualified financial adviser with 14 years experience of helping clients just like you to organize their finances and build their dream
https://www.facebook.com/ClaireSweet01
*****
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
*********
Would you like to be interviewed on the Field Guide To Awesome Podcast?
Are you a Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?
If so, I'd love to interview you!
Apply to be interviewed here on The Field Guide To Awesome podcast:
https://bit.ly/fg2aguestapplication
You can find me on social media:
Facebook Group: The Field Guide To Awesome Podcast Tribe
www.facebook.com/groups/thefieldguidetoawesomepodcasttribe/
The Field Guide To Awesome: Your Energetic Path To Flow free FB group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/fieldguidetoawesome
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75: Elaine Turso: The “Ruby Slippers” effect and The mindset shift that makes sales easier
8 Mär 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
This week I'm talking with Elaine Turso.
Elaine Turso, known as "Elaine The Brain" has been a creative, self-made, problem-solving entrepreneur since 2001. As a Business Consultant and Launch Strategist for the Insource It Marketing Agency, Elaine enjoys supporting other entrepreneurs with their businesses, getting shit done for them, so they can focus on their zone of genius.
Listen in to hear about:
We learn when we teachHow she learned that the messages her inner imposter were telling her didn’t matterHow she learned to not firehose her studentsImplementation tends to be a bigger challenge than learningStay in your Zone of GeniusWhat got me here, will not get me there. What do you need to learn to get to the next level?Breaking it down into the smallest bite-sized steps, and take one step at a timeKnowing the difference between pure non-directive coaching and teachingThe “Ruby Slippers” effectStop “living life on lay-away” - I’ll be happy when…Asking yourself better questionsDiscipline, accountability, and consistencyThe mindset shift that makes sales easier
Curious about Polka Dot Powerhouse?
Here’s a referral link to check it out: https://www.polkadotpowerhouse.com/referral?atid=9387
Check out her free gift!:
Speedy Launch System Starter Kit https://www.insourceitmarketing.com/speedy-launch-infoLaunching your own offer/ program/ course/ book/ idea can feel overwhelming, time-consuming, and out of your zone of genius. Get my Free Starter Kit and you'll receive a Master Class, Workbook + Free Strategy Call!
You can learn more about Elaine here:
facebook.com/elainethebraintursoinstagram.com/elainetursotiktok.com/elainethebraintursowww.elaineturso.comwww.insourceitmarketing.com
******
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for the success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
*********
Would you like to be interviewed on the Field Guide To Awesome Podcast?
Are you a Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?
If so, I'd love to interview you!
Apply to be interviewed here on The Field Guide To Awesome podcast:
https://bit.ly/fg2aguestapplication
You can find me on social media:
Facebook Group: The Field Guide To Awesome Podcast Tribe
www.facebook.com/groups/thefieldguidetoawesomepodcasttribe/
The Field Guide To Awesome: Your Energetic Path To Flow free FB group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/fieldguidetoawesome
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FG2A 74 - Lauren Hughes_ Neurodivergence & thinking differently leads to innovation - Learning to use your inner imposter as a tool
1 Mär 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
This week I'm talking with Lauren Hughes. Lauren Hughes is a Serial Entrepreneur, Realtor, and Investor, currently working on her 5th business, Hughes Capital, started last year, which she is planning to grow to be over $10 million within the next 5-7 years.
Listen in to hear about:
Her journey to her current level of success as a serial entrepreneur with 5 businessesHer drive and confidence knowing she could do it wellThe inner work that made it possibleEvery decision you make affects every area of your lifeInnovating in real estate that made the software industry seem tameHow imposter syndrome showed up for her early onYou don’t know what you don’t know..early onImposter syndrome shows up more the more you know, and the more experience you haveDiagnosed with dyslexia and told she wouldn’t be successful in life She learned that because she thinks differently from others it gave her a way to innovate success Life-long inner reflection helped her understand that neurodivergence and thinking differently leads to innovation.Learning to use her inner imposter as a tool to reduce mistakes
You can learn more about GUEST here:
www.luxurycoloradolifestyle.comlinkedin.com/in/laurenschneidewindwww.facebook.com/soldbylaurenhugheshttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCByDIyz6nRS5CeW73IRz3xQAnd: Voyage ATL, Hypopotemus, Best and Brightest
*****
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
*********
Would you like to be interviewed on the Field Guide To Awesome Podcast?
Are you a Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?
If so, I'd love to interview you!
Apply to be interviewed here on The Field Guide To Awesome podcast:
https://bit.ly/fg2aguestapplication
You can find me on social media:
Facebook Group: The Field Guide To Awesome Podcast Tribe
www.facebook.com/groups/thefieldguidetoawesomepodcasttribe/
The Field Guide To Awesome: Your Energetic Path To Flow free FB group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/fieldguidetoawesome
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Jon Paul Crimi: Addictions & relationships, and using breathwork to stop running your life based on fears and past trauma
22 Feb 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
This week I'm talking with Jon Paul Crimi .
Originally from Boston, in his early 20s, Jon Paul moved to Los Angeles and quickly became one of the most sought after Celebrity Trainers and Sober Coaches in the Country. Unexpectedly, he found himself in a breathwork class and had a massive transformation that first time. Knowing he had to share this technique, he not only began teaching but developed his own unique style and quickly began selling out classes all over Los Angeles.
Jon Paul currently resides in Bend Oregon with his wife and two children, but returns monthly to Los Angeles to teach his sold-out classes and workshops, as well as, lead his in-demand Breathwork Teacher Trainings
What makes Jon Paul stand apart is his east coast no-nonsense approach. He has taken the “New Agey” part out of breathwork and both companies and corporations are filling his calendar. CEOs and the Forbes set have found themselves in his classes and have hired him to teach all their employees. Jon Paul has broadened his classes into customized workshops and corporate retreats of all sizes all over the country.
Jon Paul has appeared on Good Morning America and has been featured in The Huffington Post and The Hollywood Reporter. You can find him on countless talk shows and podcasts both domestically and internationally, as he continues his work to make breathwork more accessible and mainstream.
Jon Paul believes there is no one who can’t benefit from this practice and he has the Olympians, Oscar, Emmy and Grammy winners to prove it. Witnessing people visibly transform, often after just one session, is why he greets each day excited to turn people towards their most authentic selves and he has made it his life work to reach as many people as possible.
Listen in to hear about:
Addictions & RelationshipsJon Paul shares his early life of addiction, loss, violence & walking around with PTSDWhat led to his sobriety, exploration into self-help, and helping other peopleA meeting Tony Robbins that changed his lifeHow people are running their lives based on their fears and past traumaWhat Breathwork does Turn off your head, and tune into your heartHereditary traumaClearing trauma out of your nervous systemClearing out stress & anxiety
You can learn more about Jon Paul here:
You can check out his breathwork classes and teacher trainings here:
https://www.breathewithjp.com/
Good morning America, Huffington Post, Los Angeles Magazine, Heal Hay House Summit, Hollywood Reporter, Voyage LA
https://www.breathewithjp.com/press/
*******
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
*********
Would you like to be interviewed on the Field Guide To Awesome Podcast?
Are you a Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?
If so, I'd love to interview you!
Apply to be interviewed here on The Field Guide To Awesome podcast:
https://bit.ly/fg2aguestapplication
You can find me on social media:
Facebook Group: The Field Guide To Awesome Podcast Tribe
www.facebook.com/groups/thefieldguidetoawesomepodcasttribe/
The Field Guide To Awesome: Your Energetic Path To Flow free FB group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/fieldguidetoawesome
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FG2A 72: Vince Warnock: How he made the easiest hard decision of his life: Decision making & resourcefulness vs fear of failure
15 Feb 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
This week I'm talking with Vince Warnock. Vince Warnock is an award-winning Business and Marketing Strategist, coach, author and host of the Chasing the Insights podcast.
An ex-radio announcer with over 20 years in marketing. Vince has been recognized by his peers with numerous awards including being named a Fearless50, a program designed by Adobe to recognize the top 50 marketers in the world who drive bold, fearless marketing and digital transformation.
Previously the CMO at Cigna, Vince has founded multiple companies including the Chasing the Insights Academy where he empowers entrepreneurs and business owners to make sense of marketing and grow the business they have always dreamed of.
Listen in to hear about:
Vince’s journey as an entrepreneur started when he was a resourceful (out of necessity) 10yoHow one of his first businesses was blacklisted by Apple and failedWhat made him step away from his multi-million dollar business How he became the CMO of Cigna, transformed their marketing, wrote a book, won awards…and was still miserable… and made the easiest hard decision of his life.Became a full time author and accidentally started his marketing coach.Fast decisions lead to fast results, and allow you to adapt by making another decisionResults: It’s not about success/failure - it’s about proving or disproving your hypothesis (either way you win and learn) (ALSO: you are not your results - they are separate)Vince shares a crazy but brilliant tip (based on neuroscience) on how to make fast decisions.Resourcefulness vs fear of failureWhat’s the story your ego is telling you?
You can learn more about Vince here:
Website: https://chasingtheinsights.comLinked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vdub01/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chasingtheinsights/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vdub01/
Media outlets:
CIO Magazine, Yahoo Finance, Bloomberg, Forbes, TechCrunch, and many many podcasts
Vince is offering a Free Marketing Strategy Call:
Not sure what sets you apart from everyone else?Unsure if your website is best set to convert your customers?Want someone to look over your messaging or pitch?
This is where I come in. I want to help you get a sense of clarity.
Book here:
https://chasingtheinsights.com/free-strategy-call/
******
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
*********
Would you like to be interviewed on the Field Guide To Awesome Podcast?
Are you a Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?
If so, I'd love to interview you!
Apply to be interviewed here on The Field Guide To Awesome podcast:
https://bit.ly/fg2aguestapplication
You can find me on social media:
Facebook Group: The Field Guide To Awesome Podcast Tribe
www.facebook.com/groups/thefieldguidetoawesomepodcasttribe/
The Field Guide To Awesome: Your Energetic Path To Flow free FB group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/fieldguidetoawesome
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FG2A 71: Italina Kirknis: Authenticity in Marketing- The Difference Between Personal & Private
8 Feb 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
This week I'm talking with Italina Kirknis.
As an Online Presence Expert & Speaker, Italina helps you upgrade your presence online through LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram.
Italina and her team of Social Media Managers, help you gain more visibility online, driving a steady stream of clients to your business.
Italina is trained as an attorney; she has a Juris Doctorate Degree and has a legal background. However, like many recovering attorneys, Italina is now practicing her passion, Online Branding & Marketing.
I had a wonderful conversation with Italina Kirknis, and want to share a snippet from our conversation about Authenticity in Marketing: and the Difference Between Personal & Private shares.
Listen in to hear about:
Taking ourselves for grantedDiscovering what makes us unique in our industryAuthenticity in marketing: difference between personal & Private
You can learn more about Italina here:
https://www.instagram.com/italinak/https://www.linkedin.com/in/italinakirknis/
*****
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
*********
Would you like to be interviewed on the Field Guide To Awesome Podcast?
Are you a 6-7 figure Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?
If so, I'd love to interview you!
Apply to be interviewed here on The Field Guide To Awesome podcast:
https://bit.ly/fg2aguestapplication
You can find me on social media:
Facebook Group: The Field Guide To Awesome Podcast Tribe
www.facebook.com/groups/thefieldguidetoawesomepodcasttribe/
The Field Guide To Awesome: Your Energetic Path To Flow free FB group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/fieldguidetoawesome
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FG2A 70: Claire Sweet: The Entrepreneur’s way of planning for retirement - You'll never feel wealthy without this...
1 Feb 2022· Field Guide To Awesome
This week, I talk with Claire Sweet
Claire Sweet is an award-winning Financial Adviser, Money Coach, and International Best Selling Author, who has a thriving business and is regularly asked to speak on BBC Radio Kent as an expert in her field.
She is a popular keynote speaker and it is her mission to encourage women to build the dream life they really want, by creating a plan and taking action on it!
Claire has a vibrant business, employing 4 staff, and has been helping clients organize their finances for more than 14 years. Known for her approachable but straight-talking manner she helps her clients to see their vision come to life in a way that ensures they have an amazing quality of life along the way.
Now having moved to their 'forever house' on a 4.5 acre plot, Claire and her husband Phil, love spending their time outside with their small herd of alpacas.
Listen in to hear about:
Entrepreneurs: Don’t put off retirement planningThe Entrepreneur’s way of planning for retirementHer wakeup call to leave corporate and start her businessIf you don’t plan, nothing happens to change where you are“Money Pots” Making sure your money is in the right place at the right timeRule of 3rdsStart before you think you’ll need itPay yourself firstHealing your money trauma so you can use the practical solutions - it can be easier than you think when you get out of your own wayYou are not your business
You can learn more about Claire Sweet here:
message me here >> https://m.me/ClaireSweet01YouTube >> https://bit.ly/ClaireSweetYouTubeFacebook >> https://www.facebook.com/peacetogethermoneycoachInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/peacetogethermoneycoach/
Telegraph, Guardian, BBC, Sheerluxe, Mirror, Work in progress podcast (plus many others), Speaker at Womanifest 2019. This girl is on fire, plus grown up podcast.
Claire’s {FREE} Guide: "6 Reasons Your Successful Business Feels Like it's Running Out Of Money"
Turnover's great...but there's never any money?!
Get your free guide now + discover 6 simple ways to transform your cashflow!
Tips from a qualified financial adviser with 14 years experience of helping clients just like you to organize their finances and build their dream
https://www.facebook.com/ClaireSweet01
*****
If you are a driven entrepreneur who’s:
At the top of your game, yet find your consistent successes aren’t feeling like you thought they would,And you are ready to root out any vestiges of imposter syndrome self-sabotage that are holding you back from expanding out of your comfort zone and into your next level,AND you are ready for success that truly feels like success
Book a call with me.
We'll have an intimate conversation about you and your business. We’ll explore what what might be holding you back from enjoying your success. You’ll leave with your next step.
If you still need more help at the end of the call, and it makes sense to both of us - we'll talk about what it would look like to work together.
If this sounds good to you, click the Book Trina link ==> https://bit.ly/BookTrina
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Would you like to be interviewed on the Field Guide To Awesome Podcast?
Are you a Coach and an Entrepreneur?Have you had a major mindset shift that helped you overcome a major business challenge, and allowed you to increase your impact?Would you love to share how you are multiplying your impact using your unique skills and abilities?
If so, I'd love to interview you!
Apply to be interviewed here on The Field Guide To Awesome podcast:
https://bit.ly/fg2aguestapplication
You can find me on social media:
Facebook Group: The Field Guide To Awesome Podcast Tribe
www.facebook.com/groups/thefieldguidetoawesomepodcasttribe/
The Field Guide To Awesome: Your Energetic Path To Flow free FB group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/fieldguidetoawesome
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