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Martyn has a conversation with second-time guest Ali Goldie. They talk about the pressures people can feel at Christmas time, how they manage these pressures themselves, and offer some ways to find self love and true peace over this festive period.
Wishing you a peaceful holiday season and thank you for supporting Healing Together, lots more to come in 2023!
Links from the episode:
MIND Christmas Support - https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/christmas-and-mental-health/why-christmas-is-hard/
Poem - https://tinybuddha.com/fun-and-inspiring/if-the-mountain-seems-too-big-today-then-climb-a-hill-instead/
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This is the second part of Episode 17. Martyn continues the decent into his 'Dark Night of the Soul' experience and comes out of the other side. He talks you through what led to him being in, and struggling with, an emotionally abusive relationship, continuing to turn up for himself with his Lakesman training, shedding what was no longer needed and coming out of the darkness feeling refreshed and more him than ever. As the world around him helped him recognise how he had abandoned himself his whole life, he managed to finally fall in love with himself and this wonderful experience of life - all of it.
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Fehlende Folgen?
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Martyn uses the concept of 'Dark Night of the Soul' to discuss with you the unravelling he encountered following the 'failed' adoption experience he shared in Episode 16. He uses his social media history to recount the experiences of the time. He filled the gap created after deciding to not adopt with a deep dive into yoga, starting to train for the Lakesman (an Ironman distance event), continuing to overwork, seek perfection and consequently becoming extremely vulnerable.
This is part 1 of Episode 17, in part 2 he will explore the dissolution he had to go through, perfectly catalysed by a deeply unfulfilling and emotionally abusive relationship, and shedding so many unhelpful layers of who he knew himself to be. From this empty and dark place the Lakesman training was a constant and brought him out the other side stronger, more resilient, lighter and ready for the next chapter.
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Today you have a solo episode with host Martyn talking about the story of his failed attempt at becoming a parent through adoption.
The enthusiasm he felt following his change of career and leaving an unfulfilling 10 year relationship meant he definitely overdid things, entering into several toxic relationships, personally and professionally, which ultimately led to a painful unravelling after deciding to give up on the adoption process. This unravelling will be detailed in Episode 17.
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***Content Warning: Self Harm, Emotional Abuse***
Martyn is joined by Jonny Simpson, enlightened coach and Cystic Fibrosis survivor, to talk about his many years of suffering physically and emotionally which eventually led to his first 'awakening'. They explore the often inaccessible concepts of awakening and meditation, using their own experience and reflecting on their work with clients.
Martyn also sets up the next solo episode, where he will share his difficult experience of a failed adoption, then reaching new depths through completing an Ironman distance event at the same time as coming through an emotionally abusive relationship. The themes of awakening and meditation will be further explored through these difficult life experiences he will share with you.
Links from this episode:
4 Soul Questions -
Get comfortable, sitting or laying down as you would for meditation. For each of the questions below relax and be receptive to whatever comes to you. For the first question try to be in the presence of your Being/Spirit which is different from your ego. For the other questions, be open and allow any sensation, image or thought flow to you. Breathe and repeat each question until you feel satisfied and are ready move on. You might want to record your answers or write down what came to you afterwards.
Who am I?
What do I want or what is my deepest desire?
What is my purpose?
What am I grateful for?
I hope you find this as helpful as I did. As a yoga teacher once told me, “We’re perfect just the way we are, we just need a little work.” ♥
Book Jonny mentioned - The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment https://g.co/kgs/zo1Em8
Jonny's Instagram - @jonnypopsimpson
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***Content Warning: HIV and suicide***
Matt was floored when he discovered his HIV+ status aged 25, only a few months after coming out as gay. His mental health was significantly impacted as he tried to come to terms with his diagnosis and the difficult process of integrating it into his life and relationships. He also talks about the unexpected highs of recently 'coming out' about his positive status and his gratitude for it. A shining example of finding strength, being open, kind and grateful.
Links from the episode:
Terrence Higgins Trust: https://www.tht.org.uk/
National AIDS Trust: https://www.nat.org.uk/
NAM AIDSMAP: https://www.aidsmap.com/
George House Trust: https://ght.org.uk/
Lunch Positive: https://lunchpositive.org/ (this is the charity Matt volunteers with - they are only based in the South East)
Tackle HIV: https://tacklehiv.org/
Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/
MIND Suicide Toolkit (for sufferers and loved ones): https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/suicidal-feelings/about-suicidal-feelings/
Matt's Instagram: @meandhiv
Matt's YouTube: youtube.com/c/MattWebster1986
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***Content warning: Graphic descriptions of domestic abuse and suicide***
Martyn and Ruth talk about her horrific experiences of domestic abuse when she was younger. She describes how easily she became the subject of the darkness of generational abuse due to her naivety, and how difficult it was to escape. She talks about the additional struggle with Endometriosis and how she was later diagnosed with PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder), a consequence of bio-psycho trauma she holds in her body for years after the abuse ended. She is the personification of how bathing darkness with light can soothe such horrific abuse, and has found healing through community and her love of fitness and yoga.
Links from the episode:
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-abuse-how-to-get-help
Women Out West - https://www.facebook.com/womenoutwestcumbria
It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle https://g.co/kgs/xCAVw8
Endometriosis - https://www.endometriosis-uk.org/ending-endometriosis-starts-saying-it
PMDD - https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd/getting-a-pmdd-diagnosis/
http://www.westcoastyogastudio.co.uk/
Ruth's Yoga group - https://www.facebook.com/groups/450586498659278/?ref=share
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Martyn has a very inspiring conversation with Cyn (short for Cynthia). Cyn orignally hails from New York and has had a wonderful life, full of joy and fulfilment and loved living her life being a highly positive person. Since moving to the UK 20 years ago she has been diagnosed with Parkinson's, resulting in a loss of who she knew herself to be, exacerbated by the painful loss the love of her life, her beloved Brian, 2 years ago during the Pandemic. She came to Martyn for support in warding off the darkness of the depression that followed these losses; she wasn't at all keen, but little did she know that unwillingly facing her vulnerabilities would be so healing for her.
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Martyn guides you through a cord cutting and forgiveness meditation. The first 10 minutes or so describes energy cords and the purpose of forgiveness. If you want to go straight to the meditation then forward to 10 minutes 48 seconds.
Credit to debbieguidinglight.blogspot.com for the meditation script.
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Today Martyn's sister Clare is joining him for a family show! Clare shares her responses to Martyn's solo Post-Holiday Reflections episode (9) and then goes on to talk about her last couple of years supporting her daughter through Anorexia, as well as trying to find balance in her own life.
Links from the episode:
CEDS - https://www.cntw.nhs.uk/services/community-eating-disorder-services-ceds-carlisle-north-cumbria-cntw269/
BEAT - https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/
Hope Virgo - https://www.bewellcollective.co.uk/hope-virgo
Clare's Instagram - @clarys36
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***Content Warning: Death, Sex and Drug Addiction and Self Harm***
Today Martyn and Bethany talk about her early experience of death, which resulted in health anxiety, and general anxiety throughout her life. She then experienced intense and devastating loss and very quickly found herself in the throws of drug and sex addiction, maladapted coping mechanisms for her impermissible grief and pain. Some very dark times were ultimately enlightened by her loss and led to her facing the truth of her pain finally. An embodied approach to her healing, including yoga, breath work, talking and writing, and a bloody good scream and shout liberated her from her addictions; she now shines inside and out, inspired by the very losses that almost permanently broke her.
Links from the episode:
Dr Gabor Mate Addiction - The Power of Addiction and The Addiction of Power: Gabor Maté at TEDxRio+20 https://youtu.be/66cYcSak6nE
Bethany's Social Media - https://instagram.com/bethanydemelza?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
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Back from a lovely break away in Cyprus Martyn discusses some realisations made during time away from the usual routine of life at home. He discusses 'readily available responses' when under stress, including Amram's anger and how that works alongside the symptoms of Martyn's ADHD. Martyn also shares some of the early childhood experiences that shaped who he is, and how they helped him AND continue to hinder him. Finally there is some exciting news about the future of Healing Together. Don't mention mushrooms!
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https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/ss/slideshow-adhd-relationship-tips
https://www.bacp.co.uk/bacp-journals/therapy-today/
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***Content Warning: Rape and Traumatic Childbirth***
Today Martyn talks to Nikki Wetherall (remotely so you'll notice a difference in the sound - we will be releasing the video of the conversation soon). Nikki talks about how it feels to feel broken, suppressed and missing parts of yourself. Being raped at 15, going into The Priory following the birth of her child and then realising new parts of her sexuality, and how she has used these experiences to heal herself have helped her find deep peace, pleasure from life and a sense of at being home in who she really is. Her marriage has been a safe container for all this self work and she demonstrates how love and compassion, even in the most challenging of circumstances, are the route to healing and liberation.
Links from todays show…
Nikki’s website (all social media links available within the website) - https://www.celestialsoul.co.uk/
Esther Perel talk on infidelity- https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved
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In this bonus episode Martyn shares some feedback from the growing Healing Together Community; listeners, the guests and Martyn - as each of you are equally valuable members of this community.
Keep the feedback, questions and any episode suggestions coming to Martyn at [email protected]. If you feel you would like to share your story with the community then please let Martyn know, this is your podcast and your input is so valuable - we want to know about you, and help you feel how special you are by being listened to.
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Amram returns to chat with Martyn about their restful summer, about finally accepting their path and what that means for them and their community as they begin their new season together.
Links from the episode:
What is Kundalini? kundalini-energy-what-it-is-and-how-to-awaken-it-within-you-a542f8aa39ed
Tree of Life: Tree_of_life_(Kabbalah)
Sky Sonique :Sky
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This guided meditation is to help people to deal with nervous or unsettled energy. It begins with using the breath to move the energy out of the body. The listener is then instructed to become the water and learn to flow with change. This is also a great meditation for those that want to work with the element of water. It is best listened to while sitting and with the use of headphones.
Credit to Angela Levesque for her meditation from which this was adapted.
Credit to NaturesEye for the music.
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Martyn shares the Death Meditation with you (as mentioned in Episode 5). Grab a pen and paper, some tissues and set aside an hour to complete this transformational meditation. You will be guided to pause the meditation at several points where you can make notes, to refer to afterwards if needed.
Please note, this is an intense experience where you will be guided to visualise your death to face what's really important to you. Anyone experiencing difficulties with death please be kind to yourself when considering doing this meditation.
Links from the podcast:
Fierce Medicine Book (from which the meditation was adapted) - https://g.co/kgs/kw3xob
Music credit - The Honest Guys : Power of the Shamanic Drum The Complete Collection
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This week Martyn's ex-client Phil talks about how yoga, death, motherhood and complex family dynamics has helped her realise she is indeed important; and how all of that has helped her transform her relationship with food, her emotions and herself.
As always, thanks for the support in these early days of the podcast and please do send me your feedback and questions to [email protected]
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In today's bonus episode Martyn shares the impact his ADHD has had on his life, the more difficult aspects and some really enlightening consequences. He shares an alternative perspective that can give meaning and hope to all who struggle with who they are, not just those with ADHD but broadening out this perspective to all oppressed groups, indeed shining light in some dark corners of peoples' lives.
The card reading for our beautiful Healing Together community at the end is just perfect.
Links from today's episode:
ADDitude Mag - https://www.additudemag.com
Kintsugi - https://www.lifegate.com/kintsugi
ACT - https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/therapy-types/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy
Scattered Minds Book - https://g.co/kgs/gGXL2r
Black Magic Book - https://g.co/kgs/dGkx6q
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