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Have you ever been told you’re too emotional? That you need to better control your feelings?
Or have you been a life-long feeling controller? Emotion pusher-downer? Do people praise you for being strong but you know deep down you’re actually just staying numb?
Jennie Allen is a NYT Best-Selling author and bible teacher, and she is finally giving us not just the permission but the sales pitch and sisterly call to embrace and untangle all our emotions. Why???
-Because God made them (even the “bad” ones)
-Because emotions are tools that inform us and connect us
-Because when we reject hard feelings, we miss out on the joyful ones too
-Because naming, feeling, and sharing our emotions is the pathway to peace
Need more convincing? Jennie herself claims to have lived much of life as a “fix-it” girl rather than a “feel-it” girl. But in the years of living through the struggles and practical strategies her book offers, she is a walking testimony for the depth, peace, and richness of life that comes when we do the brave work of untangling our emotions.
Follow Jennie here! https://www.instagram.com/jennieallen/
Order Untangle Your Emotions: Naming What You Feel and Knowing What To Do About It here! https://www.amazon.com/Untangle-Your-Emotions-Naming-Knowing/dp/0593193415
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Have you seen this meme before? The one that always says something along the lines of: “adulthood is the cycle of constantly saying, I just have to get through this week, over and over again until you die”? Do you laugh or want to scream when you see it? Why have we allowed exhaustion and depletion to become the status quo? Should it be? And is there any realistic way to slow things down?
We don’t have all the answers. But this week, we’re talking about the practice of pruning – what it means and how it’s helped us apply some small adjustments, or cut backs, to life’s taxing cycle of demands. A few questions for you to consider as you look at what to prune from you own life right now:
What causes me to accept living in this exhaustion/depletion cycle?
What’s the why behind my yes to this commitment?
Who am I investing in who’s no longer investing in me?
What do I need to stop “should-ing” myself about?
Where can I reset my expectations of “above and beyond” to a realistic “good enough”?
These are just a few of the filters Shannon and I are working to set up in our lives to help us prune spots of excess. Yours will certainly be different and unique to your family, your schedule, your season. The bottom line is, we all run greater risk than we realize when we don’t practice occasional pruning. I love how the necessity of pruning grapevines in winemaking applies so aptly to us as well:
“Left on its own, a grapevine will sprawl and spread itself out, huge crops can ripen unevenly and usually result in grapes that lack the intensity of flavor needed to make great wine.”
Sound familiar??? What filters can you put in the place to do a little needed pruning as we move into this summer season?
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Fehlende Folgen?
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Have you ever done a fast? It’s not incredibly common in our culture anymore (unless it’s giving up something for Lent or a juice fast to drop a few quick pounds, it seems!). Well, it’s an age-old practice that pastor and author, Darren Whitehead, can save us from our phones.
https://www.instagram.com/darrenwhitehead/
The 40-day digital detox started a year ago with his Franklin, TN church congregation either fully or partially fasting from all apps not considered utility on their phones. (So yes, you can still work and call/text!). And it was an overwhelming success! They’ve now done it multiple times, and Darren is giving us the inside scoop on the program in his new book, The Digital Fast: 40 Days to Detox Your Mind and Reclaim What Matters Most.
https://www.amazon.com/Digital-Fast-Detox-Reclaim-Matters/dp/B0CQD95HG6/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.qd9yqmvJ6NE9ijyqqDmiLdpUMskrvkeAgOjwpj2xrm2czkTnKA8zDb3IlVbkulTjqF-ucKlK5eGOVD0Y-MSnS6cff_w_S8yekHAnuEYKTWE.n3BjnYH6B-ET-nNl4nZ-iw_gBe6kYrgQcKp0RYqC1aQ&dib_tag=se&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwxeyxBhC7ARIsAC7dS3_6J-f9KELoV4upgizDsgoAAWZgW9bfjpbSAl5UvttHD7u-fm-abaMaAqSNEALw_wcB&hvadid=693190154324&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9013186&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=2766643418922460592&hvtargid=kwd-2281601668473&hydadcr=22594_13493210&keywords=the+digital+fast+darren+whitehead&qid=1715203206&sr=8-1
Darren’s major concern is that “our smartphones are now taking from us more than they’re giving to us.” Yikes! But it’s so true. And the beautiful outcome of this fast for nearly all who’ve embraced it is restored time and attention and joy. Darren reminds us that these devices, while a necessary and helpful tool, have gone from something we have mastery over to things that have mastery over us.
Do you want to reclaim your time? Your attention? Your focus? Your joy??? Don’t throw out your iPhone, but do embrace the millennia’s old practice of fasting, the point of which is to put something aside in order to pick something more life-giving up. What would you have room to enjoy, to pick up again, if you put down your phone for a detox?
See more resources from Jonathan Haidt here https://www.amazon.com/stores/Jonathan-Haidt/author/B001H6GAXW?ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true
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This week’s guest is speaking my language on every level!! He’s been studying joy as a pastor and researcher for 5 years and, in his words, “mining the book of Philippians for joy for 27.” As a But Randy Frazee’s mission is not just to teach us about joy. He’s here to teach us how to build our joy muscles; how to, as his new book The Joy Challenge’s subtitle assures: discover the ancient secret to experiencing worry-defeating, circumstance-defying happiness. Who doesn’t want that??
Randy walks us through the spiritual, the scientific, and the practical of seeking and sustaining life-changing joy. Not just temporal happiness, but a lifestyle and mindset of joy despite our circumstances, our people, our pasts, and our greatest worries. Randy draws ancient wisdom from the apostle Paul in Philippians as well as modern neuroscience and physiology to give us a full picture understanding of how our minds and spirits work together to lead us into lives of daily joy.
Follow Randy here https://www.randyfrazee.com/
Get The Joy Challenge book here https://www.amazon.com/Joy-Challenge-Experiencing-Worry-Defeating-Circumstance-Defying/dp/0718086163
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What if the dreaded, unexpected thing in your life is actually the beginning of becoming your truest, most flourishing self?
This is Jillian’s story. This is my story. This is all of our stories at some point in life if we learn to yield to the God who redeems EVERYTHING. After receiving a life-altering diagnosis for her unborn son, Jillian Benfield faced not just unmatched grief as a young mother, but also a dismantling and rebuilding of all she believed, in her faith and in her overall worldview of personal value and worthiness.
Overcoming her unexpected circumstance wasn't an option. She would have to undergo it instead. She would learn to find God’s goodness in a situation that she couldn’t qualify as good. She would discover who she truly was and who God was leading her to become.
In her own transforming journey through the challenges of the unexpected, Jillian proves how many good gifts seasons of grief can offer. In her book, The Gift of the Unexpected, she helps you break down the false constructs you've built around God and your identity. You won't avoid your pain, but you'll learn to feel it, in a healing way. And you'll discover how your internal transformation leads to external purpose.
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I’d be willing to bet you’ve found and are listening to this week’s episode on your phone, right? So let me start by saying – phones are not evil! But we’re lying to ourselves if we don’t admit their power to addict, distract, and ultimately steal from many of life’s joys given the CONSTANT connection and attention most of us give them. Did you know…?
91% of adults have their phone within arm’s reach all day, every day.
63% are trying to limit screen usage somehow but struggle to do so successfully.
This week’s guest has fallen victim to constant phone absorption, as we all have, but he is offering us a solution. Joey Odom, co-founder of the Aro box & app, is bringing us the first solution designed specifically for families looking to reduce screen time and increase quality time together. The beauty of Aro? They’re not calling us back to flip phones or swearing off technology – they’re a tech company after all! Their ultimate purpose is to give us the tools, structure, and the emotional investment necessary to reset our relationship with our phones, and thus, reprioritize all the other relationships that have been suffering as a result of our devices.
There’s no shame here. Just the courage to face a tough reality along with a much needed, real solution. Thank you, Aro!
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Well friends, this is the one either you’ve been eagerly waiting for OR the one that scares you the most to open 🤪. This week, we’re talking all things marriage and intimacy. This was obviously such a gift for me as Connor and I approach our first anniversary next month, but Lindsey’s work as a marriage and intimacy coach, writer, and podcaster serves those in any and every stage of marriage.
Over her past decade of working with women, she’s curated 3 online courses to help us enrich specific life seasons that often need a little extra TLC. The Wife Project: From Roommates to Soulmates, The Sex & Intimacy Project for Couples, and The Modern Proverbs 31 Woman course all stem from her passion for thriving, God-centered relationships and are rooted in her own decade plus-long marriage as well as her work alongside women and men far ahead in years and wisdom.
I love her because she is a beautifully and confidently open book. Anything you’ve walked through, wondered, or struggled with, Lindsey likely addresses with us or on her podcast, the Living Easy podcast. No one sits down with Lindsey and leaves feeling alone. Her heart is for all of us to walk in rich, flourishing relationship, and she’s here to help us do just that.
Follow Lindsey
https://www.instagram.com/livingeasywithlindsey/
Check out all Lindsey’s courses here
https://stan.store/lindsey
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I couldn’t ask for a more perfect guest for Easter week than Molly Stillman. Her debut book, If I Don't Laugh, I'll Cry: How Death, Debt, and Comedy Led to a Life of Faith, Farming, and Forgetting What I Came into This Room For, releases TODAY and is a start-to-finish witness that God is always working to redeem our messes.
From the tragic loss of her mother at age 17, to incurring and digger her way out of a mountain of debt at 21, to thoughts of ending her own life, Molly chronicles her “emotional, financial, and spiritual rock bottom” for readers with the ultimate hope that they never give up hope for their own stories.
As a former improv and sketch comedian, our conversation is all that it implies – big laughs and occasional tears, all rooted in her since found unshakeable foundation of faith. More than anything, Molly wants YOU to know that YOUR STORY has power, potential, and endless kingdom purpose in the hands of the God she knows and loves. No one is too far gone. Nothing is beyond redemption.
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Do any of these exasperating statements sound familiar to you?
That really was the last time.
I’m going to do it differently than they did.
I can’t keep letting this affect me.
I’ve got to move on.
Me too. And this week’s guest’s personal story and his life work is to help people like you and me get past our pasts. Jason VanRuler is a liscenced therapist, coach, and speaker working with clients from high-level business execs and artists to those transitioning out of incarceration. And the one thing he sees we all have in common: the tendency to let our pasts rob our present and threaten our futures.
Jason is kind. He is wise. And he is so generous to equip us with the tangible ways to start actively working through the parts of our story we continue to feel or fall victim to. And the best part of all of this? When we learn how to get past our broken past, it leads to greater connection – with our loved ones, with ourselves, and with all the goodness around us.
Follow Jason
Order Get Past Your Past: How Facing Your Broken Past Leads to Connection
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This week is super fun because we’re flipping the script and having Shannon interview ME! I’ve loved our one on one time with y’all, talking through different topics and issues that affect all of us. But I thought with season 3 underway and so much exciting change happening in my world, why not take a pause and share a little more detail about my day to day right now.
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If you’re a country music fan like me, you likely already know Granger Smith as a platinum-selling country singer/songwriter, but did you know he is now a NYT best-selling author??
Granger’s story, Like A River: Finding the faith and strength to move forward after loss & heartache, is devasting and tender and ultimately, charged with hope. Following the tragic, sudden loss of his 3-year-old son, Granger walks us through not only the crippling fears and failures of his grief journey but also the radical spiritual and mental transformation that has led to his healing.
For anyone struggling with loss or simply battling the how’s and why’s of life’s heartbreaks, Granger is your friend and guide through darkness.
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I think it’s safe to say all of us have felt that churning inside, that unwelcomed angst, when a friend or family member seems to overstep or under appreciate or fail to communicate yet again. No one wants to be trapped in cycles of less safety and more stress with the people you love, but many of us do and simply learn to “live with it.” Courtney Burg knows and shows us a better way.
Through decades of both personal struggle and professional coaching around co-dependency and boundaries, Courtney calls and equips women to the work of pursuing freer and richer love in their relationships. In her new book, Loyal to a Fault: How to Est. New Patters When Loving Others Has Left You Hurting, she helps us identify patterns of disfunction/tension in our closest relationships and then showers us with empathy and instruction on how to live better boundaried and, thus, more lovingly with those around us.
I walked away from this conversation feeling freer to communicate clearly, better aware of my own needs and core values, and practically equipped to establish boundaries for myself and for others. What a gift her hard-won wisdom is to all of us!
Follow Courtney: Instagram & Online Community
Buy Loyal to a Fault
Join her in reading 5 Days to a Value Driven Life
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Season 3 is here, and I can think of no better place to start than with my new friend, Justin Whitmel Earley. As both a corporate lawyer, man of God, and dad of 4 boys under 10, Justin has cracked the code on HABITS. Seems simple right? Don’t we all want to foster good habits in our lives and in our families? Sure, but Justin’s 3 books focus on just that – the powerful creation and rhythms of habits in work, in the household, and most recently, in friendships.
His latest book, Made for People, addresses the devastating epidemic of loneliness plaguing our country and invites us to follow his lead in the “fight for a life of friendship” and connection. His wisdom has been found and lived in real time, and he’s giving us the roadmap with 10 of his arts and habits of relationship – a few we touch on being vulnerability, honest encouragement and rebuke, and the courage to say the awkward things.
There’s no time in history I believe we need the up-close love and support of our people more than right now. Justin tells us not only is it possible, but it can actually save our lives.
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Do you fall victim to resolution regret every year? Maybe you go into the new year strong, with genuine, I-can-do-it-this time convictions and then come March, you’re right back where you started. Ever think maybe we’re teeing all this up wrong?
What if in place of rules or resolutions, this year we focused on rhythms? What if instead of shooting for that 180 degree turn in our health or relationship or professional life, we chose to get 1% better each week? What if we mapped out who we wanted to be 5 years from now instead of what boxes we wanted to check in 6 months? What if we worked backward with our goals – setting not undoable finish lines to cross but establishing core values through which to filter our decisions and plans?
Shannon and I are no experts - we’ve done it wrong plenty of times. And this year, we’re flipping the script. Join us in changing our approach to New Years growth and goals, including the attached, customizable vision board for you and your family to adjust your vision for 2024.
Happy New Year, y’all!
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As we grow nearer and nearer to Christmas, I hope this week’s jolly episode brings you a burst of joy as you shop, wrap, bake, or hustle to get whatever checked off your Christmas list this week! In part 1, you’ll hear from some of my favorite elves (BFFs) on some fabulously easy and delicious Christmas app & cocktail recipes as well as some insider tricks for parents reeling in the face of two more weeks of elf on the shelf.
In part 2, I get to chat with Santa himself!!! We get a little insight on his health journey over the past year (don’t worry, he hasn’t given up cookies, and neither should you!), how he and Mrs. Claus celebrate Christmas, and more.
I hope this festive episode brings you a little lightness and joy this week as we continue the advent and Christmas season!
Follow Santa J. Claus on Instagram
Elves’ fav recipes:
Emily’s easy bacon crackers: https://www.aforkstale.com/easy-bacon-cracker-recipe/
Emily’s Boursin, prosciutto crostinis: https://www.hungryhooker.com/new-recipes/cheesy-crostini-bites-84maf
Madison’s homemade shortbread: https://thehappyfoodie.co.uk/recipes/stem-ginger-shortbread/
Ryba fudge & treats: https://ryba.com
Rahaf’s spicy sweet potato bites (serves 4):
2 sweet potatoes, cut into rounds and then halved
Your favorite chili oil (recipe discussed in episode)
Toss in salt, pepper and chili oil
Roast at 425 for 15 minutes or until soft
Relish topping (chopped by hand or in food processor):
1/4 cup pistachios, almonds or walnuts, chopped
1/4 cup figs or dates, chopped
zest of 2 limes
1/8 cup olive oil
1 bunch of mint, roughly chopped
salt to taste
Put on top of sweet potatoes and enjoy.
Elf on the shelf creative tips:
https://creativelykaty.com/products/elf-on-shelfs-journey-to-the-manger-2023?_pos=1&_sid=fc9e9840f&_ss=r
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Shannon and Chase Willardson may as well be brand ambassadors for this podcast. Their family’s story, their enduringly hopeful hearts, and their unending commitment to choosing joy during lifelong difficulty is inspiring. Within the first year after the birth of their second child, Shannon and Chased learned that their daughter, Charlie, suffered from an extremely rare disease called CDG, a lifelong prognosis with no treatment or cure. And even more, as they worked to accept and adapt to Charlie’s profound lifestyle needs, they became pregnant with their third child who was diagnosed in utero with the same disease.
Shannon and Chase share openly the spiritual and emotional turmoil that facing these diagnoses brought on their family, but even so, never stray too far from the hope that their foundation of faith and resilient relationship have provided. They are courageously honest about the struggles and darkness of their reality and yet always return to active gratitude and celebration of the family they love. They are admirable and enduring allies on this journey and in their marriage. They are truly such a joy!
Follow Shannon on Instagram
Listen to the Willardsons on Don’t Judge, Just Love podcast
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Sissy Goff has not only spent 3 decades counseling children and their families but is a prolific author and speaker and just pretty much spews joy and wisdom everywhere she goes. Her most recent book is a MUST READ for all parents and really all humans. The Worry Free Parent: Living in Confidence So Your Kids Can Too offers empathy, intellect, and endless tangible resources for all of us to better identify and manage anxiety.
A few of the awesome topics we cover:
-5 ways to identify when anxiety shows up (in our bodies, minds, and hearts)
-How to “stop, drop, and flip” intrusive, anxious thoughts
-Learning to trust your gut
-The power in “letting the bottom 20% go”
I could not love Sissy or her heart for people and families more! This is truly a don’t miss for everyone, in any stage of life.
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Are you in a relationship that continues to feel depleting, unhealthy, even toxic? How do we know when it’s time to create some space, have a conversation, or – as we talk ALL about in today’s episode – set a much-needed boundary with a partner, family member, colleague, or friend? Boundaries are at the foundation of healthy relationship in the counseling world, but what do they mean practically for us? Shannon and I discuss: · What are boundaries?· Why do they matter?· Why they are NOT selfish when the motive is love.· Why they are the key to preserving healthy relationships.· How they build foundation and margin for necessary self-care.
This is conversation applies to everyone, in all types of relationships. At the end of day, boundaries are to preserve, not to punish, and to help all of us “identify where the other person begins and where we end.” They are the start of better health and honesty in relationship – don’t miss Shan’s professional wisdom and practical direction on boundaries!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=1&v=gyojvztu_9Y&embeds_referring_euri=https%3A%2F%2Fmail.google.com%2F&embeds_referring_origin=https%3A%2F%2Fmail.google.com&source_ve_path=MjM4NTE&feature=emb_title
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If you’ve ever seen the reality show Married at First Sight, you know what a challenge those first months and years of being married to a full-on stranger proves to be for couples. Doug and Jamie Hehner, from the show’s first season, are the quintessential arranged marriage success story. Ten years and two beautiful kids later, the Hehners commit their podcast and public platforms to share the real ups and downs of their lives and invite all their followers to do the same on their show, Hot Marriage, Cool Parents.
We cover everything in this episode from attraction and how it changes shape over the course of relationships to prolonged seasons of post-partum anxiety and depression. Whether you’re single, newly married, or have been in this for a decade like them, we can all relate to the everyday humanness and hope Doug and Jamie’s story offers. They’re real. They’re resilient. They’re a couple who has refused to give up on joy in their marriage.
Follow Jamie & HMCP on Instagram
Hanging with the Hehners on YouTube
Hot Marriage, Cool Parents podcast
Insight Timer for meditation
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Madi Prewett Troutt has run the gamut of dating experiences and disappointments. From high school heartbreaks many experience, to publicly defending her faith on the Bachelor, to seasons of longing and wrestling with God when she was “always a bridesmaid, never a bride,” Madi teaches us as much about waiting and contentment than she does love itself.
Madi’s latest book, The Love Everybody Wants: What You’re Looking for is Already Yours, is chock full of practical, doable strategies for dating intentionally and faithfully. She’s done it wrong and done it right, and she’s such an honest guide through the struggles of pursuing relationship. But more than that, her life is a powerful testament to the security, peace, and confidence that comes when we start to define our worth and identity, not by relationship status, but by the love that’s already ours – the love of Christ.
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