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In this episode, we explore the hidden struggles behind avoidant attachment through a candid conversation with someone whoâs lived it.
We discuss:
đč Why he resisted change in past relationships â believing emotional distance was a strength
đč How self-protection became self-disconnection
đč The breakup that made him realize his avoidant patterns were the root cause
đč Why avoidants do love deeply â and how fear keeps it buried
đč Reconnecting to his emotional self and finding fulfilling love
đč Closure for anyone hurt by someone with avoidant attachmentThis one is for anyone whoâs struggled to love â or be loved â with a guarded heart.
Learn about Attachment Coaching with Jessica HERE.
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In this personal episode, I take you behind the scenes of a recent dating experience that stirred up both growth and grief â and revealed just how far Iâve come on my attachment healing journey.
As someone who used to operate from a fearful avoidant (leaning anxious) attachment style, I now move through dating with much more self-trust, clarity, and compassion. But that doesnât mean the old patterns donât still surface â especially when connection, chemistry, and unmet needs collide.
Iâll walk you through how I navigated this dynamic from a secure place, the conversations I had, and ultimately, how I honored myself enough to walk away when alignment wasnât there â even when it felt good in the moment.
If youâve ever struggled to balance attraction with long-term compatibility, or felt pulled between your heart and your values, this episode is for you.
Takeaways include:
The difference between chemistry and compatibility
How to identify your unmet needs in real time
Why even "kind and available" people might not be the right fit
What it looks like to actually date from your secure self
How to exit with integrity when your paths donât align
đ§ Plus: Only 2 more days to join the My Secure Self Membership for just $1 your first month! Get access to group coaching, monthly workshops, and tools to help you build secure, aligned relationships HERE.
Looking for 1:1 support, learn more about attachment coaching here.
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Today on the podcast, weâre joined by the lovely Meghan Gatto.
Meghan went through the My Secure Self group coaching program this past summer with the goal of deepening her understanding of anxious attachment â and learning practical tools to break unhealthy relationship patterns.
In this episode, we dive into:
âBreaking the cycle of anxious attachmentâAttraction to avoidant partnersâand how to stop thatâHow your body signals when youâre in the wrong relationshipâApproaching dating from a secure lensâKnowing your needs, raising your standards, and setting boundariesâAnd we finish off with my signature Secure Self visualization to help you shift from anxious to secure attachmentMy Secure Self Membership - Join for $1 today đ
1:1 Attachment Coaching
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Today, Iâm excited to introduce Joe Reilly, an incredible human and former coaching client of mine, who has been actively working to break his anxious attachment patterns and step into his secure self. We dive into:
The challenges of anxious attachmentHis pattern of dating avoidant partners and where that inclination comes fromHealing through a recent breakupLearning to be okay with being aloneHow heâs been building a secure relationship with himself through this season so that he can be more intentional about his next partner, rather than make decisions from a place of scarcity or insecurity.If youâre looking for a heartfelt conversation about attachment, healing, and self-growth, this episode is for you.
Contact Joe Reilly:
www.joereilly.org
Instagram: @joereillymusic
Attachment Coaching with Jessica:
1-1 Attachment Coaching (8-weeks)
My Secure Self E-Course
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If youâve been listening to the podcast for a while, you know I love exploring how attachment styles impact all areas of lifeânot just relationships with people. Through my own healing work, Iâve noticed that as I became more secure and confident within myself, that same transformation began to reflect in my relationship with everythingâincluding money!
Thatâs why I invited Shamina Taylor, a former attorney turned Wealth Consciousness Mentor and author of the Amazon #1 Best Seller Unlocking The Quantum Woman, to share her expertise on:
How attachment styles influence our relationship with moneyThe importance of wealth consciousnessUnderstanding masculine and feminine energy in making moneyHow a scarcity mindsetâwhether with people or moneyâkeeps us stuck in insecure attachment patternsPractical tips to shift your attachment to money and open yourself to more abundanceFind Shamina:
Daily CEO Money Making Moves
www.shaminataylor.com
Instagram: @shaminataylor
Podcast: Unapologetically Rich
Attachment Coaching with Jessica:
1-1 Attachment Coaching (8-weeks)
My Secure Self E-Course
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In this episode, I explore the difference between commitment and compatibility, sharing my personal experience navigating these challenges in a past relationship. I also discuss how to recognize the distinction, helping you better assess whether youâre in the right relationship.
Learn about attachment coaching with me here.
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Today on the podcast, I'm joined by dating coach Sabrina Zoharâbest known for her transformative podcast, The Sabrina Zohar Show. She brings a no-nonsense, straightforward approach to relationship advice.
In this episode, we discuss:
Sabrinaâs journey from anxious to secure attachment. The reality of managing anxietyâit doesnât just disappear. The power of nervous system regulation for those with anxious attachment. How to spot emotional unavailability in dating. Low-effort vs. high-effort behaviors in dating & relationships. Key qualities to look for in a secure partnership.Tune in for insightful and actionable advice on building healthier relationships!
Contact Sabrina Zohar:
www.sabrinazohar.com
Instagram: @thesabrinazoharshow
Podcast: The Sabrina Zohar Show
TikTok: Sabrina.zohar
Youtube: Sabrina Zohar
Work With Jessica:
1:1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica HERE
My Secure Self E-Course (Self-Study)
Instagram: @thejessicadasilva
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Today on the podcast we have Melina Charis. She is a writer and mentor for women moving through grief and heartbreak. She has 10+ years experience with ceremonial + somatic healing practices and 6+ years experience holding space for others, but her greatest teachers by far have been motherhood, death, grief and life itself.
We cover:
Grieving breakups, death, identity shifts, and more.How unprocessed grief manifests in daily life.The ways grief can resurface years later.Understanding that grief is an ongoing process.What it truly means to process grief.Different healing approaches and ways to move through grief.*Find Melinaâs offerings at melinacharis.com and read her writing at [/14b27051b990809ab0a4e21d62ab80a3?pvs=25]melinacharis.substack.com.
*Learn about attachment Coaching with JessicaHERE.
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If you've been following my breakup journey, I wanted to share an update on my healing process now that it's been 1 year. My hope is that this gives you insight into the grief cycle, the messiness of healing, and reassurance that things do get better.
Work With Me : Attachment Coaching - â CLICK HEREâ
Previous recorded break-up updates:
- Recovering From Heartbreak - 8 Month Update (Through a Secure Lens)
- Recovering From Heartbreak - (Through a Secure Lens) Almost 6 Month Update
-To Stay or Breakup - Leaving My Relationship of 6 Years
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In todayâs episode, former client and dismissive avoidant attacher Randy Hamama shares his journey of navigating insecurities in a new relationship. He discusses common avoidant struggles, such as discerning fears from authentic desires, staying present when the urge to withdraw arises, identifying what makes a partner feel safe for avoidants, and understanding when itâs worth staying with an avoidant partner or when itâs time to walk away.
Whether you have an avoidant attachment style or are in a relationship with someone who does, this conversation offers valuable insights and practical takeaways.
Learn about attachment coaching with Jessica here.
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Today on the podcast, Vanessa Scaringi, PhD, CEDS-C, a licensed psychologist and certified eating disorder specialist supervisor, and Kathryn Garland, LCSW-S, CEDS-C, a clinical social worker and certified eating disorder specialist supervisor, discuss:
How attachment styles influence our relationship with our body and eating habits How different attachment styles may experience eating disorders The impact of early relational experiences on eating behaviors Tools to heal and rebuild a positive relationship with your body And so much more!Vanessa and both co-own a group practice Calm Counseling in Austin Texas that specializes in the treatment of disordered eating and body image issues.
Contact Vanessa and Kathryn:
www.keepcalmtx.com
Instagram: @calmcounselingatx
Work with Jessica:
www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
Instagram: @thejessicadasilvacoaching
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In today's episode, the wonderful Hannah Flynn, a former client of mine, shares her journey of navigating her avoidant attachment style, overcoming deception and heartbreak, and ultimately finding healthy, secure love.
We discuss:
The challenges of communication with an avoidant attachment style. The importance of addressing conflict rather than avoiding it to maintain peace. The pain of being deceived in a trusted relationship. Learning your relationship needs and desires through trial and error. The journey to finding love again.Learn about Attachment Coaching with Jessica here.
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I had a revelation recently with a big life change. I noticed similar insecure ways of thinking and feeling surface that resembled how I used to feel in unhealthy relationship dynamics. The goal with this episode is to help you reflect on how you may be "insecurely attaching" to things outside of your relationships, such as your home, belongings, items, routines, goals, dreams, by highlighting similar attachment patterns that could be harming you rather than helping you. Most importantly, how to shift your approach!
ATTACHMENT COACHING WITH ME:
Book a free clarity call here.
www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
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Today on the podcast we have Chris Rackliffe, also known as @crackliffe. He is a trauma healer, mental health advocate, anxious attachment style coach, and author of the new self-help book, Needy No More: The Journey From Anxious to Secure Attachmentâavailable exclusively on Amazon beginning November 19, 2024. Chris has worked with countless clients across five continents to help them heal their anxious attachment style and grow more secure, sharing everything heâs learned on his own healing journeyâfrom how to integrate trauma and regulate the nervous system, to how to effectively communicate and set boundaries. With a B.S. in Psychology from the University of Miamiâand an honorary Ph.D. in the âSchool of LifeââChris has made it his sole purpose to help others find peace, perspective, purpose, and power through their trauma.
We discuss:
-Why it's important to know your needs for relationship health and satisfaction.
-How to identify and meet your needs.
-How to measure if your needs are being met within your relationship.
-Creating a balanced approach of give and take.
-When to stay or leave your relationship.
Contact and work with Chris:
Check his my website and TikTok!
Get your copy of his first book, It's Good to See Me Again, on Amazon now.
Contact and work with Jessica:
10 Week Attachment Coaching
Instagram: @thejessicadasilva
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Today on the podcast we have Lisa May Francisco who is a first-generation Filipino womenâs empowerment coach, Kundalini yoga teacher, EFT practitioner, and host of the Sacred Femme Alchemy podcast. She leads women to bust through their emotional blocks, reclaim unshakable self-worth, and unleash their wild, authentic selves through potent spiritual coaching and transformative practices.
We talk about:
-The benefits of using somatic techniques to address our attachment challenges.
-A guided EFT session for anxiety.
-Retraining our nervous system for secure attachment.
CONTACT LISA: Free 45-min EFT coaching session - https://calendly.com/sacredfemmealchemy/free-eft-session
Sacred Femme Alchemy Podcast
Instagram: @sacredfemmealchemy
Work with Lisa
CONTACT JESSICA:
1-1 Attachment Coaching - https://www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2
Instagram: @thejessicadasilva
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In this episode, I discuss identifying subtle forms of dismissiveness in a partner and its impact on our well-being from a personal and general perspective. It's easy to overlook milder forms of rejection, especially if we consider our loved ones "good people." But if we don't become aware of these troubling mild behaviors, they can perpetuate our feelings of disconnection and insecurity within our relationships, leaving us confused.
1-1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica:
https://www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2
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Today on the podcast, we have a special guest: Rebecca Haddock. She is a badass businesswoman, scientist, inventor, and president of her company, Equitape. Rebecca is also a former client of mine who originally came to me seeking support in breaking her unhealthy attachment patterns, specifically tendencies associated with avoidant attachment.
In this episode, we talk aboutâŠ
-Typical relationship challenges for those of us with an avoidant attachment style.
-How attachment science can help us understand our relationship patterns (specifically those toxic or unhealthy ones that we just tend to keep re-creating in our lives).
-The importance of separating chemistry versus compatibility for long-term relationship satisfaction.
-Conscious dating and how empowering that process can be when we have this attachment insight.
-The importance of knowing your values and needs so that you make wiser relationship decisions.
-And most importantly, connecting to your authentic (aka secure self) for true personal and relational fulfillment.
Book a free Clarity Call with Jessica to learn about Attachment Coaching:
https://calendly.com/attachmentcoaching/20minute
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On this podcast the podcast we have Lucy Price. Lucy is a breakup and relationship coach who helps individuals heal from heartbreak, get over their exes, and create fulfilling lives. Lucy specializes in guiding clients through the emotional challenges of breakups, teaching self-love, and helping them rebuild confidence and clarity for the future.
We talk about:-How our attachment styles are reflected in a breakup.-How to navigate a breakup depending on our attachment tendencies.-Going no contact and is that the best move?
-Filling the void when we are feeling lonely.
-When its time to start dating again or enter a new relationship.
-Tools on how to get over your ex, heal from the heartbreak, and move forward in the most empowering wayâŠ
And so much moreâIncluding intimate details about our own break up journeys.
Attachment Coaching With Jessica:
My secure Self (3 month Group Coaching Program)
One-on-one Attachment Coaching
www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
@thejessicadasilva
Contact Lucy Price:
IG: @lucy.m.price
TikTok: @lucy.m.price
Website: www.shiftyourstory.net
Podcast: Breakups and Breakthroughs
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Today on the podcast, we have Patch McCormick, a former ad man turned relationship therapist for men, couples, and groups. Individually, he helps men earn secure attachment with a combination of IFS, EMDR, CBT, and various somatic tools. He's incredibly passionate about teaching assertiveness and how to build confidence. Patch was bold enough to agree to come onto my podcast and share his personal experience with having a dismissive avoidant attachment style and his process over the years to becoming more secure.
We talk about:
-How our hypermasculine society reinforces the dismissive avoidant attachment style characteristics and behaviors.
-The importance of normalizing male emotionality.
-Common dismissive avoidant fears hindering them from commitment.
-What makes a âsafe partnerâ and motivates them to change.
-Debunking the misconception that dismissive avoidants don't have feelings and don't want relationships.
-Why avoidants are subconsciously attracted to anxious attachers (and vice versa).
-How avoidant and anxious attachers can actually serve as catalysts for each others individual growth and healing.
-How to best determine when to stay or leave your relationship with an avoidant attacher.
-Strategies Patch has used to overcome his avoidant attachment style and earn secure attachment.
Contact Patch:
www.talktopatch.com
Instagram: @talktopatch
Attachment Coaching with Jessica:
One-on-one Coaching (10 weeks)
My Secure Self Group Coaching (12 weeks)
Email: [email protected]
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I wanted to share an update on my break-up recovery process, as I know many of you have found comfort in hearing about my experience, understanding you're not alone and finding ways to navigate the challenges through a secure approach.
In this episode I share:
-How I've been feeling after 8 months post break-up.
-How I've been navigating the 5 stages of grief and it's natural highs and lows.
-Entering the dating app world!
-Opening myself up to new experiences (and people).
-Navigating my fearful avoidant and anxious attachment tendencies as they surface while dating.
Work with me:
â My Secure Self Group Coaching (3 month)â
â 1-1 Attachment Coaching (10 weeks)â
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