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Yes, it’s possible to live well while holding our grief and sorrow for what’s been lost, and knowing that we are simply mortal beings. And Martha Crawford is the perfect guest to share some big ideas and deeply personal experiences in this episode of Living From Happiness. Martha earned a master’s degree in social work, followed by an advanced certificate in clinical social work from NYU. After working for 25 years in New York City, she relocated to Santa Fe just in time to hunker down when the pandemic took over the world. In 2016, she was diagnosed with a unique, unstageable, unprognosable cancer that transformed and reshaped her vocational goals, capacities and priorities. Martha now works as a mentor, teacher, writer, coach, psycho-spiritual director and as a group and workshop facilitator. This fascinating conversation ranges from archetypal and depth psychologies (curious about the Mad King and Dangerous Buffoon?) to the collective stressors we’re all facing these days. “Privilege is eroding.” “We’re living in the crack between worlds.” “Our problems are collective.” These are just a few of the provocative ideas from Martha Crawford. It’s a big-brain conversation you don’t want to miss. Martha Crawford’s website here: https://www.whatashrinkthinks.com/ Dr. Melanie Harth is a licensed psychotherapist in Santa Fe NM working with people who’ve lost their way. Her website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/
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Kelsey Blackwell is a cultural somatics practitioner and author dedicated to supporting women of color to trust and follow the guidance of the body.
She’s a facilitator, coach, and speaker who's brought abolitionist embodied practices to such diverse groups as riders on Bay Area Rapid Transit trains to students at Stanford University to the offices of LinkedIn.
She has a new book called "Decolonizing the Body: Healing, Body-Centered Practices for Women of Color to Reclaim Confidence, Dignity, and Self-Worth".
Finally, Kelsey believes that working towards personal and collective liberation must also bring joy.
She’s one of the most thoughtful, engaging guests Melanie’s had the pleasure of talking with.
This is a gentle conversation about what is too often conflictual and difficult with an important young voice in the worlds of happiness and healing.
Kelsey Blackwell website here: https://www.kelseyblackwell.com/
Dr. Melanie Harth website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/.
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Cheryl Alters Jamison is the Queen of New Mexico food (at least, that’s what Melanie calls her)! Cheryl is a 4-time James Beard award winning cookbook author. She’s published 22 cookbooks, and sold over 2 million copies. Not one to rest for very long, she’s also been voted Edible New Mexico’s Local Heroes Best Food Writer award twice, is the founder of the online Excited About Foods community, a Contributing Culinary Editor for New Mexico Magazine, culinary tourism consultant, and a radio host at Hutton Broadcasting, where she has a show about food called Heating It Up. Finally, in her spare time she leads foodie tours to Europe and exotic places like Morocco. Some of the convo topics include food and travel and happiness, the ways in which cultures and foods are connected, the political and social power of food, how to keep going when we’ve lost a loved one, and yep … … chickens. This show is full of stories, and laughter, and a lot of living that Cheryl shares with y’all. Finally, you’ve got to listen to the 2nd half, when she shares a few names of in-the-news northern New Mexico places to eat (not all of them restaurants). Cheryl Alters Jamison website, Excited About Food, here: https://excitedaboutfood.com/ Dr. Melanie Harth, the Santa Fe Therapist website, here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/
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Really! Melanie and guest Jon Baskin have a lot of fun talking about psychoanalysis in this episode. Things like what it is, why there are so many negative biases against it (at least on Melanie’s part), and what motivated Jon to become a candidate psychoanalyst-in-training at the Chicago Psychoanalytic Institute. Jon Baskin is already a seasoned psychotherapist. He’s a licensed clinical social worker, completing his bachelor’s degree in philosophy at UCLA along with a master’s degree in social welfare, also at UCLA. Over the course of his career, he’s worked with children with neurodevelopmental disabilities; military service members, veterans, and their families; first responders; education and mental health professionals; teenagers and young adults; and those experiencing crises related to severe psychological distress. Jon’s a warm, compassionate, engaging guest who’s articulate about a sometimes confusing psychotherapeutic modality. The prominent psychoanalytic therapist, Jonathan Shedler, shares this sort-of description about how it works: "Our patients recreate their problematic relationship patterns with us in the therapy relationship. Our unavoidable participation in these patterns provides a crucial window into their inner worlds. “Our unexpected participation in our patients’ problematic relational patterns necessarily stirs up difficult feelings for us. It is not a question of if we experience difficult feelings but of whether or not we can use them constructively, as a source of understanding.” Come along with Melanie as she learns more about psychoanalysis in this light-hearted (honest!) episode. Jon Baskin’s website here: https://www.baskinpsychotherapy.com Dr. Melanie Harth’s website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com The Santa Fe Therapist I’m Melanie, and I love helping people who are ready to work with a trauma therapist. In balancing the science of therapy with the art of healing, I’ll create an innovative program for you that sets you on a path of success from the very first session. My compassionate, creative approach weaves together my ability to hear below the surface of the words, advanced degrees, years of specialized training, professional experience, and my own healing around trauma. I use the latest neuroscience findings as I combine Western systems, Eastern wisdom, Earth-based practices, as well as creative, innovative ideas to help you process, heal and begin building your future. My hope for you is that you’ll feel safe every step of the way as you transform “I don’t feel safe” into “Yes, I’m safe and well and happy.” If you’d like a free, 15-minute phone consult, just send me an email: [email protected].
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This episode takes a deep dive into healing the shame of childhood sexual abuse. National expert Beverly Engel is Melanie’s guest as the two of them explore some of the many unhealthy consequences of shame. An acclaimed advocate for victims of sexual, physical, and emotional abuse, Beverly’s a psychologist and best-selling author who’s published 22 books, including four bestsellers on emotional abuse. Her most recent book is Freedom at Last: Healing the Shame of Childhood Sexual Abuse. Even though the subject matter may feel dark and heavy, the reality is that millions of people, both men and women, suffer deeply from the shame of having been sexually abused as children. And that shame can become an insidious self-saboteur, holding you hostage, never allowing you to live a full, rich life. There are many, often hidden, negative health consequences of having experienced childhood sexual abuse (CSA). As Beverly writes: “CSA survivors have a significantly higher risk of medical, psychological, behavioral, interpersonal, and social difficulties. Systemic reviews have also specifically established that CSA is a risk factor for depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), dissociative patterns, sexual problems, relationship problems, sexual exploitation, intimate partner violence, suicidality, substance abuse, eating disorders, and educational difficulties. But all those effects and risk factors pale in comparison to one particular consequence of child sexual abuse—shame.” The very good news is that there is so much hope and healing possible, which is what the focus of the show is really all about. Bad things happen to very good people. When you understand how much can be done to heal the shame of those early childhood wounds, your life will change for the better, in ways you may not even be able to imagine at this point. As Beverly wrote in Freedom at Last, “being reminded of your own abuse is not necessarily a negative thing. This is because many former victims are in so much denial that being reminded of what happened to them can help them get out of denial, a major problem for many former victims. The more you can face the truth about what happened to you, the healthier you can become.” This episode takes a fearless look at the truth about what happened, and offers lots of ideas, suggestions, and evidence-based strategies to help folks begin the transformational journey of healing themselves into wholeness. Finally, please don’t expect this to be a horrible downer of a show. These two women offer wide-open, heartfelt personal experiences and professional guidance into a taboo subject that must be openly talked about. For that is where the healing lives. Beverly Engel’s website here: http://healmyshame.com/ Dr. Melanie Harth’s website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/about-santa-fe-therapist/ You don’t have to suffer alone anymore. If you’re struggling with the shame of childhood sexual abuse, CPTSD, or any other traumatic experience, please reach out to Melanie for a free 15-minute phone consult: [email protected].
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Who's the most fascinating French scientist-turned-baker in Santa Fe? It's Marcel Remillieux, of course!
This is a warm, gentle, delightful conversation about all things French and food (especially the sourdough bread) and families and growing up on the island of Corsica.
Marcel shares lots of stories about his family's legacy of baking, along with how he ended up as a scientist at Los Alamos National Lab for eight years.
He also gets up close and personal as he shares the story of why he chose to leave the Lab and take the huge risk of opening up a cafe and creperie, first in Los Alamos, and now in Santa Fe.
Marcel and Melanie have a lovely time together talking about:
happiness emotional health and wellbeing French cultural traditions psychological resilience how to define success for oneself yep, sourdough bread and French baguettesMerry Happy Holidays to everyone!
Mille, a French cafe and creperie in Santa Fe, website here
Mille's Facebook page here
Dr. Melanie Harth's website here
*the phrase Joyeux Noel is the one Melanie forgot to ask Marcel to pronounce, just in case you're still wondering what it was
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Melanie shares several tips for enjoying the holidays in this episode. She also highlights some of the common holiday happiness traps that can cause folks a lot of sorrow, resentment and anger. As she says, “while almost everyone has fantastical dreams of perfect holidays that go all the way back before we were able to talk and encode explicit memories, almost as many of us are stressed, overwhelmed, sad or depressed, and can even become bitterly disappointed … every holiday season.” There’s a lot of good news, though! When you slow down and mindfully manage your holidays, you’ll feel a lot better. And your beloveds will, too. (If they don’t? They’re not really beloveds, are they?) Melanie also offers the latest neuroscience research findings to help you feel more ease-full and peaceful this year. Her first tip? Don’t give away your ability to choose how and with whom you spend your time. As she says, “You don’t have to keep giving yourself, or your very precious time, or your emotional health and wellbeing away to ideas about how it’s supposed to be, or to people who cannot see you, respect you and offer you, at the very least, kindness. “You don’t have to choose to keep on doin’ the holidays the same old ways it’s always been done. “We’re living in a new world. And to the extent we can accept that, even surrender to the new reality, then we’ve given ourselves some sacred space to begin building new rituals and ceremonies and traditions.” Can you give yourself some sacred space and create new rituals and ceremonies and traditions that are in alignment with who you are and what you need? As usual, Melanie doesn’t shy away from talking about the difficult things that most of us would rather not think about. Things like toxic families, grieving your losses during this supposedly “HappyHappy” time, and how to navigate the season as an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person). And she also shares that a couple of the creative ideas that showed up surprised her, including her favorite, which she’s calling The Soup Circle! She ends the show with a few poems to help sooth your nervous system and calm your weary mind, including this one entitled The Shortest Day, by Susan Cooper:
So the shortest day came, and the year died,
And everywhere down the centuries of the snow-white world
Came people singing, dancing,
To drive the dark away.
They lighted candles in the winter trees;
They hung their homes with evergreen;
They burned beseeching fires all night long
To keep the year alive,
And when the new year’s sunshine blazed awake
They shouted, reveling.
Through all the frosty ages you can hear them
Echoing behind us—Listen!!
All the long echoes sing the same delight,
This shortest day,
As promise wakens in the sleeping land:
They carol, feast, give thanks,
And dearly love their friends,
And hope for peace.
And so do we, here, now,
This year and every year.
Welcome Yule!
More about Dr. Melanie Harth here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/about-santa-fe-therapist/
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Silvia Stenitzer returns to the studio for this episode. Silvia’s a licensed professional clinical counselor in Santa Fe. She has a private practice as a psychotherapist. And she also trains the trainers, offering continuing education workshops throughout the year for licensed counselors. She has specialized training in some important areas, including somatic therapy and interpersonal neurobiology. Melanie and Silvia share ideas about how to manage the holiday season when it feels overwhelming, or if you’ll be spending time with toxic people, including family. Some of the topics include how healing can happen in relationships, and that sometimes the people who drive you the most crazy can be sources to help you deepen into your evolutionary journey. Narcissists and attachment styles are part of the discussion, as well. Melanie shares the 5 S’s, from neuroscientist and psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Siegel. The 5 S’s can be helpful to use when your nervous system has been activated, and you need some help with emotional safety and emotional regulation. The 5 S’s are five fundamental needs that all humans have. They are:
“1) Be SEEN—meaning our inner life is perceived, made sense of, and responded to in a timely and effective manner. The attunement of others helps us “feel felt” in the world.
2) Be SOOTHED—meaning that our distress is noted and the interactions with others helps us to feel calmer, more at ease. This interactive soothing becomes internal soothing as we develop.
3) Be SAFE—meaning that we are protected from harm and also that those we care about are not the source of terror. This is how we come to have a sense of trust in others.
4) Be SECURE—meaning that we develop an overall internal model of solidity, enabling us to feel that in general, we are worthy of being seen, soothed, and safe and that we can rely on others for this important sense of connection.
In addition, a “fifth S” might be the notion of “SENSE-making”—meaning how we rely on our interactions with others to make sense of the world. This making sense process enables us to feel a coherence between what we experience ourselves and how we are told the world actually is. With a coherent sense-making experience, we have what some researchers term, “epistemic trust.”
Furthermore, Siegel says “But if your family has not in the past provided these S’s of security for you or others, then this list may be helpful to keep in mind as you enter this holiday season. We have a saying that you can ‘name it to tame it,’ meaning that if you name an emotional state it will help you create equilibrium in your life. If you are at the dinner table and Aunt Mary doesn’t see you as you are discussing some important issues in your life, when the feeling of disconnection arises, say to yourself, with your inner voice, ‘Ah—how fascinating—agitation from not being SEEN. That’s one of those S’s of security, fully missing here from her reactions to me, no wonder I have this unsettling feeling of disconnection.’ You may not be able to change Aunt Mary, but you can change how you understand and respond to her non-secure ways of interacting with you. Finally, Siegel writes that you can be your own secure attachment figure. “You can see what is actually going on inside you with clarity and acceptance, you can soothe your own inner distress, you can keep yourself safe, and you can make sense of what is going on as you name it to tame it.” https://drdansiegel.com/expanding-your-holiday-hub/ Silvia Stenitzer’s website here: https://silviastenitzer.com/ Dr. Melanie Harth’s website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/ Questions or comments about the show: [email protected]. -
Kimberley Brown is the guest on this episode which focuses on how to navigate grief and loss. Kim is a popular meditation teacher and author. She leads classes and workshops that emphasize the power of compassion and kindness to reconnect us to ourselves and others. She studies in both the Tibetan and Insight schools of Buddhism and is a Certified Mindfulness Instructor. Kim and Melanie talk all about her newest book, titled Navigating Grief and Loss: 25 Buddhist Practices to Keep Your Heart Open to Yourself and Others. She’s a lovely teacher who’s written a very accessible book to help guide folks through how to feel safe feeling all of our emotions and understanding how to be compassionate and kind to ourselves, no matter what shows up. For the truth is that this is when healing begins. Her book chapters are titled by different kinds of losses, including sudden death, or conversely, when you know it’s coming, losing a child or grandchild, if your family disappoints you, grieving for strangers, and beloved pets, among others. One of the things that Buddhism teaches is that “everything is impermanent and death can happen at any moment, to anyone, at any age … it’s the nature of life,” as Kim writes. Further, “for us to live fully with this unsettling truth requires that we acknowledge impermanence and change, be willing to mourn loss and face grief, and meet the unexpected with gentleness rather than denial or blame.” Kim and Melanie share ideas for how to deal with emotions such as anger, compassion, anticipatory grief, collective grief, and how to hold our grief during the holidays. This is a lovely show, with many ideas to ponder. Kimberly Brown’s website here: https://www.meditationwithheart.com/ Dr. Melanie Harth’s website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/ Questions or suggestions: email [email protected]
Grief Counseling in Santa Fe, NM
Sadness and loss are part of being alive. And grieving our losses is part of what it means to live a rich, full life. If you’re stuck in the past and can’t seem to move forward on your own, or living with ambiguous loss, please reach out to schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation: [email protected].
I’m Melanie, the Santa Fe Therapist. My compassionate, creative approach to grief counseling in Santa Fe NM weaves together my ability to hear below the surface of the words, advanced degrees, years of specialized training, professional experience, and personal experiences healing from loss.
I use the latest neuroscience research as I combine Western systems, Eastern wisdom, Earth-based practices, as well as creative, innovative ideas to help you process and heal.
Clients usually work with me once a week for 8-12 months. As we work together, you’ll process your sadness and loss in an emotionally safe space, and begin learning how to step into the world again, on your terms.
Please know that I welcome ongoing conversations about making therapy the best experience it can be for you.
The Santa Fe Therapist Offers Online Counseling in Santa Fe, NM
Online therapy helps women who are struggling with grief and loss find the time away from day-to-day pressures to calm their nervous systems. It also makes it easy and convenient to process emotions and learn new neuroscience techniques cope with challenges, heal the past, and begin building your future.
I strongly believe in the power of online counseling. Along with the research that proves its effectiveness, I see the positive benefits for clients every week. Click here if you've got questions about online therapy.
Online counseling from anywhere in New Mexico, including Santa Fe, Albuquerque, Taos, Los Alamos, Pecos, Las Vegas, Tesuque and El Dorado.
How to Get Grief Counseling in Santa Fe NM
You don’t have to suffer alone anymore. Please, send me an email, and let’s schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation: [email protected], for grief counseling in Santa Fe.
Other Services From The Santa Fe Therapist
The Santa Fe Therapist specializes in several areas of health, wellbeing, healing and recovery. We know that one size never fits all. Our services are individualized to each client, and are based on your values, your needs and desires, and your goals.
We offer individual adult counseling and guidance in Santa Fe NM for:
dealing with overwhelming angst and despair anxiety help depression help emotional and spiritual healing processing grief overcoming low self-esteem learning how to make peace with the present PTSD and CPTSD/trauma helping you manage stress -
Have you ever been told that you’re “too sensitive,” thinking too much, or that you should be happy going to parties ‘cause the more the merrier? Do you hide you who are because you’ve been shamed or told there’s something wrong with you? You might be an HSP, a highly sensitive person. Melanie (Dr. Melanie Harth) explains what being an HSP means, and offers lots of ideas and strategies for coping with too much stress, overwhelm, and an over-stimulated nervous system. She references the work of the psychologist who developed the theory, Dr. Elaine Aron, author of several books on being highly sensitive, including her first one, "The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You.” One quote Melanie shares in this episode from the book is "If you are going to notice every little thing in a situation, and if the situation is complicated (many things to remember), intense (noisy, cluttered, etc), or goes on too long (a 2-hour commute), it seem obvious that you will also have to wear out sooner from having to process so much so thoroughly. Others, not noticing much or any of what you have, will not tire as quickly [or at all!]. "They may even think it quite strange that you find it too much to sightsee all day and go to a nightclub in the evening. … . Indeed this is often the behavior we and others have noticed most — that HSPs are easily stressed by overstimulation (including social stimulation), or, having learned their lesson, that they avoid intense situations more than others do.” Melanie shares information about what being highly sensitive can look like in different people, along with ways that an HSP can cause problems for themselves. Other areas she covers include HSPs and narcissists, HSPs and shame, HSPs and psychological/mental disorders such as anxiety and depression, and ways to help soothe yourself. Dr. Elaine Aron’s website here, including the free quiz: https://hsperson.com/ Dr. Melanie Harth’s website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/
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Dur e Aziz Amna is the guest who’s keeping Melanie on her toes in this insightful, wide-ranging, and delightful conversation. Aziz Amna grew up in Rawalpindi, Pakistan. She graduated from Yale College and the Helen Zell Writers’ Program at the University of Michigan. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, Financial Times, and Aljazeera, among others. Winner of the 2019 Financial Times Essay Prize, she was longlisted for the Sunday Times Audible Short Story Award 2020. Her brand-new debut novel is American Fever. And it’s a powerhouse of a novel. The protagonist, Hira, is an adolescent Pakistani girl who comes of age as an exchange student in rural Oregon. Hira's voice is impressive, with observations ranging from who she is to who she is not. Here's one example, “I don’t yet know how to react to life—its sadness and disappointments—without blaming those around me, because I am only half formed and so it feels to me that I am nothing but the sum of other people’s actions.” Another quote from Hira as the older narrator is, “At 16, I was tired of limits, aghast that life could be so small. Tired of the same girls I had known all my life, girls who called their periods their ‘visitors’… who didn’t know, didn’t desire to know, how powerful and clever and beautiful they were, who had already decided on the low, petty ceilings of their limits.” Finally, from Hira, as narrator/observer, comes this, “Stereotypes happen when you don’t understand the thing itself, and so you interpret it. This is not an account of how America was. It’s an account of who I was.” The conversation between Dur e Aziz Amna and Melanie touches on themes such as: emigration and immigration assimilation what “home” means globalization racism and Othering the challenges presented when we stereotype something the place of one’s culture and tradition the hubris, ignorance, and fear of at least some of “America” and Americans The two women also talk quite a bit about happiness and well-being in the 2nd half of this episode. Dur e has a lot to say about this and does so with style and grace. This show is for snuggling down with a cuppa on a lazy early evening and spending the hour with friends enjoying each other's company. Dur e Aziz Amna’s website here: https://www.dureazizamna.com/ Dr. Melanie Harth’s website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/ Questions or comments? Send them to [email protected].
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This is an intimate episode with Melanie sharing an essay from the scientist, activist, humanitarian and writer Barry Lopez. The essay is from his last book, “Embrace Fearlessly the Burning World,” published posthumously. Lopez makes a poignant plea to not fall into despair and hopelessness at the state of the world.
Building on the foundation of Lopez’s essay, Melanie shares several suggestions for how to find joy in dark times. The focus is on simple ways to help reset your nervous system in challenging times. For instance, did you know that trying to resist painful emotions increases psychological suffering? Or that helping other people or a cause that’s important to you has been proven over and over again to helps get you out of your little mind and ego and into something more important? It helps manage the non-stop ruminating monkey mind thing. Also, nature is a powerful healer! Hanging out in nature can help elicit joy and happiness. She also shares several pieces of writing from the poets David Whyte and Mary Oliver, educational visionary Maria Montessori, and the Zen Buddhist teacher and writer Thich Nhat Hanh. Dr. Melanie Harth’s website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/ -
Shepherd Siegel, PhD, has written a lot of books, including two in which he writes about the importance of the Trickster mythology.
Shep is an activist, writer, musician, researcher, prankster and author of the book we talk about in this episode — “Tricking Power Into Performing Acts of Love: How Tricksters Through History Have Changed the World.”
The Trickster archetype, or myth, or god/goddess, is one of the most ancient deities, found in almost every indigenous culture around the globe. In the southwestern United States, the Trickster is often portrayed as Kokopelli.
In his book, Shep writes "about how grown-ups who have retained the ability to be playful as they were when a child view and behave in the world. Such a grown-up will consciously or unconsciously engage with the Trickster."
One of Trickster's main characteristics is having fun and playing, no matter what else is going on around him or her.
Shep brilliantly leads us through his research findings, tells beautiful stories of different Trickster deities, and Melanie asks a lot of questions.
As he writes, "The trickster just sets out to have fun, and somebody might get hurt, but the intentions are never to deliberately hurt others. In fact, quite the opposite: this book is about the role of the trickster (human), and the Trickster (demigod, archetype), in opening our eyes and our minds to the tangible possibility of a more perfect and playful society, a utopia if you will.”
Dr. Melanie Harth’s website: www.TheSantaFeTherapist.com. -
September 7th, 2022
There are a lot of ways to help reduce anxiety. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), mindfulness (especially MBSR, Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction), and emotional regulation can absolutely change your life for the better if you're struggling with anxiety.
There are also plenty of ways to get creative when you're feeling overwhelmed.
Journaling is one powerful way to help calm your nervous system and manage those anxiety gremlins. Bringing your mind back home to the present moment is a simple, effective way to ride the wild horse of your anxious mind, even if it's just for a sec. Music is super-powerful for self-soothing an anxious mind. Sometimes when my mind is scurrying around in too much worry, I listen to quiet jazz (or classical and all dance music, from 60s soul to contemporary salsa). Find your happy place with music and listen away (yep, I had to get up offa' my thing and dance listening to this!). Finally, if you're curious about divination tools such as Tarot cards, the I-Ching, Runes, or astrology, learning more about whatever's calling you can also provide creative ways to work with anxiety.Note: if anxiety symptoms are getting in the way of work and relationships or causing health issues, please talk to a professional anxiety counselor and get help.
Can Astrology Help Reduce Anxiety?Maybe. Sometimes. Sometimes a lot.
I recently spent an hour interviewing the nationally known astrologer Elisabeth Grace. We talked a lot about events and people in the news. We also talked about how understanding the bigger astrological picture of why things happen the way they do can help you feel less anxious.
In my experience, it can be a helpful tool along with psychotherapy when struggling with how to reduce anxiety. And according to The Atlantic, astrology is having a moment.
Astrology offers an understanding of the planetary patterns that reflect your life's potential.
Another way it can be helpful is that, once you understand those planetary patterns reflected in how you make choices, you can learn how to surf the waves of the inevitable life changes and curve balls everyone has to deal with.
Elisabeth and I talked about the chaos that seems to be happening these days. She mentioned the esteemed American historian Heather Cox Richardson (her free Facebook page; her paid substack page). If you're interested in current events and politics and how history repeats itself, check her out.
In the second half of the episode, I get personal with part of my astrology chart so Elisabeth could explain how a chart works.
Elisabeth Grace website here
more from Dr. Melanie Harth, The Santa Fe Therapist: https://thesantafetherapist.com/
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David McRaney is an author, science journalist, lecturer, and the creator of the blog You Are Not So Smart, which became an internationally bestselling book, later followed by You Are Now Less Dumb.
He hosts the popular YANSS podcast and speaks internationally about irrational thinking and delusion.
And David has a new book called “How Minds Change: The Surprising Science of Belief, Opinion, and Persuasion.”
This is a big show, covering a lot of ground. He and Melanie discuss the psychology of changing minds, both our own as well as others. How to have conversations that might be difficult is part of the thread.
As David said, “It’s more about how you’re approaching the conversation.”
And he gets into the particulars of what contemporary interdisciplinary scientific research says is most effective at helping us approach a difficult conversation and maybe even persuade someone to change their mind.
David’s got an intriguing interdisciplinary approach, encompassing the fields of psychology, sociology, conflict, tribal psychology, and yes ... even more.
As he writes in his book, “How Minds Change”:
Societies aren’t fixed. Large social systems, though they seem stable, are always changing in subtle ways that are imperceptible to the people living within them. Even if thresholds remain constant in a way that prevents a cascade from building momentum within a single group, all manner of circumstances can affect the average number of connections between groups, altering the conditions in ways that randomly create percolating vulnerable clusters. Any society can, without its knowledge, change from one in which a global cascade is impossible to one in which it could happen at any time. Repeated shocks to the system that before seemed futile now have the potential to change the world.Change can creep along with no signs of meaningful progress for decades. It makes the status quo seem like it was unanimously agreed upon, stable and eternal. It makes mind change seem impossible — until one day, a lucky strike causes so much change that everyone’s thresholds are met within a percolating cluster. Then the culture-wide spread begins. A social change cascading this way reach everyone except those who have difficult-to-meet thresholds who are part of a cluster that is disconnected from the network, cult, an insulated religion, or a remote community.
Living from happiness includes many moving parts, including psychological resilience and the ability to adapt as change happens. Especially important skills to cultivate in this rapidly accelerating era of
change, right?David’s an engaging, articulate, super-smart, and fun guy. Listen in to the pod, and let us know your thoughts: [email protected].
David McRaney’s book "How Minds Work" here: https://www.davidmcraney.com/
Dr. Melanie Harth, The Santa Fe Therapist, website here: https://thesantafetherapist.com/ -
Linda Durham has been one of the most influential people in the Santa Fe contemporary art scene for over 30 years.
Her professional and personal lives center on art, artists, global travel, and humanitarian causes.
She's the founder and director of Santa Fe’s Wonder Institute, which sponsors art exhibitions, lectures, workshops, and salons focused on discovering and implementing creative solutions to contemporary social and cultural issues.
For more than three decades, Durham promoted New Mexico-based artists as the hands-on owner of a contemporary art gallery with seven exhibition locations through the years: six in Santa Fe, and one in New York.
In 2012, the New Mexico Museum of Art acquired her extensive gallery archives.
A prolific writer and speaker, she has been guest lecturer or workshop presenter at Brigham Young University, the University of Wisconsin, Ohio Wesleyan University, Yale University, the Sundance Institute, the College of Santa Fe, Santa Fe Community College, and the New Mexico Museum of Art.
For her seventieth birthday, Durham circumnavigated the world in seventy days, meeting Indigenous women, educators, artists, entrepreneurs, and peace activists, and planting “Seeds of Peace” in gardens, schoolyards, and parks in South Africa, Lesotho, Madagascar, Thailand, Myanmar, and Hawaii.
Linda's fascinating life is chronicled in her memoir "Still Moving."
In this episode, she and Melanie share an intimate conversation sitting at Linda's dining room table. The two riff on beauty as a healing balm, transitions and transformations in a life well lived, and some personal acts of generosity on Linda's part that've meant a great deal to many friends and acquaintances.
They also talked about courage, one of the hallmarks of Linda's professional and personal lives. She quotes the following in her memoir:
Long before morning, I knew that what I was seeking to discover was a thing I’d always known. That all courage was a form of constancy. That it was always himself that the coward abandoned first. After this all other betrayals came easily.
–Cormac McCarthy, All the Pretty Horses
Dr. Melanie Harth, The Santa Fe Therapist website here
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Dr. Mike Rucker is an organizational psychologist and charter member of the International Positive Psychology Association. His work has been published in the International Journal of Workplace Health Management and Nutrition Research.
Mike's ideas about fun and health have been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Vox, Thrive Global, mindbodygreen, and more. Named one of ten digital changemakers by the Healthcare Information and Management Systems Society, he currently serves as a senior leader at Active Wellness.
Mike's newest book, "The Fun Habit: How the Disciplined Pursuit of Joy and Wonder Can Change Your Life," sounds a little frivolous and silly during this time of so much upheaval.
Melanie was surprised, and heartened to discover just how much serious a researcer Mike is, and how much deep thought and wisdom he poured into his book.
Topics in this episode include happiness, positive psychology, neuroscience and how the mind works, how fun keeps us healthy, toxic positivity, mindfulness, and yes ... so much more.
Give a listen to this enlightening and light-hearted conversation, won't you?
“Extraordinary experiences require us to make deliberate choices. Transformative moments don’t often fall out of the sky, but there are definitely ways to increase their frequency. If you want a twist of fate, starting twisting. Chosing fun every day in small, seemingly superficial ways can, over time, lead you to new patterns of behavior—new and better choices. What starts as a dance with whimsy may lead to you discovering The Mystery, with your joy lighting the path.” - Dr. Mike Rucker
“We all have the agency to live more joyful lives; we just don’t have the right tools.” - Dr. Mike Rucker
Learn more about the "fun" guy at MichaelRucker.com.
Dr. Melanie Harth, The Santa Fe Therapist, website here
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Daniel Bergner is a contributing writer for the New York Times Magazine and the author of five previous books of award-winning nonfiction. His writing has also appeared in the Atlantic, Granta, Harper’s Magazine, Mother Jones, Talk, and the New York Times Book Review.
Finally, his newest book, the most personal, is "The Mind and The Moon: My Brother’s Story, the Science of Our Brains, and the Search for Our Psyches."
So many issues are explored in this fascinating episode. From questioning our understanding of psychosis to biological treatment modalities, and from exploring the differences between brain and mind to how biological psychiatry has contributed real harm to millions of people, this is one.big.episode.
Meticulously researched, Daniel's latest book lends weight to the growing national conversation questioning the medicalization of mental illness.
Daniel and Melanie talk about some of the many paradigm-shatteirng interviews he did with renowned neuroscience researchers. A few examples are:
“The more drugs [antipsychotics] you’ve been given, the more brain tissue you lose.” “Psychiatry has lacked a ground truth. It’s a house of cards built on serendipitously discovered drugs. How people could think that mediocre — important but mediocre — drugs like the SSRIs could give us any comprehension is beyond me.” Steven Hyman “The big picture is that we really know very little about psychosis and what is going wrong in the brain. It’s remarkable why we don’t know." Donald C. GoffWhat happens to your psyche (translated from ancient Greek as "soul") when your brain works differently from the norm, and is too medicated to function?
What's the result when mental illness has been medicalized based on faulty or non-existent science?
As Daniel writes:
… Maybe the way biological psychiatry most stigmatizes and isolates is by alienating us from ourselves, by defining and circumscribing and sometimes damning and imprisoning us in our own eyes. It is interesting that the profession may do to its patients precisely what we are advised not to do in raising our children.
One of the fascinating people Daniel met as he wrote the book was Caroline, who has intimate, in-depth, personal experience with mental illness and psychiatric interventions. Caroline is a leader in the Hearing Voices Network and the creator of a groundbreaking suicide prevention program. She calls the current mental health system, especially treatment for severe mental illness and psychosis, a “system of oppression. … . People have been in need of support, and what they’ve received is risk management.”
The idea that medicating our brains will lead us to mental health has been criticized by the World Health Organization. As Daniel writes,
Last June [2021], the World Health Organization published a 300-page directive on the human rights of mental-health clients — and despite the mammoth bureaucracy from which it emerged, it is a revolutionary manifesto on the subject of severe psychiatric disorders. It challenges biological psychiatry’s authority, its expertise and insight about the psyche.
This is an incredible episode with a brilliant thought leader about matters that affect so many of us. Listen in, share, send us your thoughts: [email protected].
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