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After many episodes of me talking with other parents, thought it was time to introduce you to my parents. Listen in as I chat with my parents about what it was like parenting me!
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About the Episode
Christian is a dad of a 7 year old Daughter, Malia. They live with his girlfriend
Go To Glitter
In the house hold - watching music videos is the Go To Glitter. Go back and forth between music that is current, music form Dad's childhood, music from before dad was born. Malia gets to decide first several songs :)
Dr. Marcie's Must Make Moves
1. Balance between technology and playing with 3D object. Having time on screens can help us learn and grow. As can playing with kitchen sets and blocks
2. Teach appreciation over entitlement. It is ok to have lots of things and for her to receive from so many. It is important to create ways for her to appreciate all she has and share with others who are less fortunate. Donation of her overflow is a great way to teach this.
3. Share your own experiences as an emotional guide for her learning. Even when our kids have great wisdom, they still need the lessons and we can give them that while sharing out our lives. When she asks how your day is, share the emotional experience to help her learn new tools and strategies!
Golden Nugget
This Golden Nugget was touched on as an underlying theme throughout the session, not one specific strategy. Just because I think she is great and in touch with her feelings and emotions, don't take for granted. Foster that. Don't assume she has it and let her do her own thing. She is going to come across problems of her own. I need to sit with her and go through them and give her the tools!
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Fehlende Folgen?
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About this episode
Julia is part of a family of 5. Her husband, Javon, who she has known for 18 years and been married to for 4. Her older daughter Lila, who is 11 years old. Her younger daughter Zora, who is 2 years old. The fifth family member is her dog, Jezze, a poodle mix. She is a doula and you can find her on instagram at @357HolisticServices
Got To Glitter
The go to glitter for Julia and her family is 'so simple' she says, it is walking to the park. Not a playground, the park that is a big open flied. When we get there there is conversation just flowing and they are learning things about each other and making jokes. Walking to the park brings out good, earnest conversation and makes the day great!
Dr. Marcie's Must Make Moves
1. Relationships are two way streets. If you want your child to share openly with you about their feelings and day, share with them about your feelings and your day. You modeling the open connected conversation, helps them know what it looks like and how to do it.
2. Create a space for deep meaningful connection. That does not mean that every time that you are in this space together, there will be deep meaningful connection. It does mean that it is more likely to happen during this time. It also means that the meaningful connection might not happen in words but the action you take together during this time is building deep meaningful connection. For example a once a week cooking time together becomes a memory your child will hold onto.
3. Tell your children you love them. Tell your children what you like about them. Have your child share what they like about themselves. Sometimes we know that we love our kids, so we don't say the words. The action of telling someone you love them, ensures they know it. The action of telling someone what you like about them, ensures they know it. Don't let your kids guess how you feel, tell them often and clearly.
Golden Nugget
Trusting my mom feelings...trusting my mother intuition and having grace.
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About the episode
Go To Glitter
Hard because of the widespread of ages. Simplest answer is being at home - Saturday mornings on the couch each doing their own thing in PJ. Cleaning and coffee for the adults. Meals together and try to connect - breakfast and dinner as a family of 5. Thrive on being connected
Dr. Marcie's Must Make Moves
1. Time together is important, so is everyone getting their unique needs met. Perhaps it is helpful to create times when you are meeting the family’s needs and other times when each individual in the family gets needs met. These are two different things and can be addressed at different times.
2. Reactive parenting versus responsive parenting. Take a breath before you react. Take a moment to assess the best way to respond because not every moment in parenting is a crisis. Do not react as if it is a crisis when it is not.
3. Parenting is hard and has many challenging moments. Make time to see the success/joy that is happening along the way. As parenting is a never ending experience, create chunks of time or goals so that you can feel the same sense of accomplishment as you go through life.
Golden Nugget
Biggest thing is the shift in perspective...your story is so close to you. Talk to a professional about it and it is a hole other level of what we think it is. All the positive. We are having joyful moments, have options, intentionality as a positive thing.
Dr. Marcie's Golden Nugget
Find the mile markers - the successes you have along the way as you continue down the hard path. Language is different for each of us - use the words that are right for you and see what they.
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About the episode
Martika has a 2 and 1/2 year old son who she is raising with he partner Max. They have been together for 8 years.
Go To Glitter
Love going to the children's museum together. Having full as a family with the interactive elements. Watching Harry Potter, Miko loves the magic and runs around the house with his wand. The final piece is going to the park all together, time outside makes everyone happy!
Dr. Marcie's Must Make Moves
1. Miko was just diagnosed with Autism so that tells us a bit about how his brain works. He thinks in a linear fashion that is very clear - left or right; right or wrong - the more specific and clear you can be in your language the easier it will be. He also is most likely a visual learner, so use visuals to support directions and vocal communication.
2. When asking a question, ask a question. When giving a direction, give a direction. It is not about being stern and yelling versus sweet and kind. It is about clarity and teaching Miko to listen.
3. Pick one priority as a parent. You can't change everything at once and it is exhausting to try. So pick one area of focus at a time. If it is potty training, great! If it is sleep training, great! If it is listening skills, great! The other areas, keep moving forward as you are and know you will get there in the future.
Golden Nugget
Using visual instructions and incorporating pictures into communication. Doing this while making sure to use clear and effective communication - asking questions for questions and directions for directions.
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About this episode
Cam is a white straight cis man in a heterosexual relationship with his wife. They have 3 children together, Lucy who is 9 years old, Marlo who is 7 years old, and Teddy who is 4 years old.
Go To Glitter
We live by the ocean in Massachusetts. We are a good beach family. The activity we love as a family is going to the beach. In a more micro sense, family dinner. Everyone is there and it is a home cooked meal. Sitting around and going around the table to talk. They do this at least a couple times a week. Always on Sundays, usually one other night a week. Often Taco night is family dinner night, they all love tacos!
Dr. Marcie Must Make Moves
Started with a celebration that your daughter is going to therapy. Help and support from professionals is really important when there are big situations in your family.
1. Regular communication, specifically around who is going to be home when. Currently the only conversations happen when you are leaving. Need to create a regular time to talk about who will be home when, sometimes everyone is home and sometimes mom or dad will be leaving. Don't always have the conversation be around hard moments.
2. Since she thrives with the family calendar, keep it going. You need to be in charge of the calendar, the adults need to be responsible for sharing the information. Create a routine and predictable time when you as a family will reset it.
3. Create a night time connection routine based in positive activities. Build a routine for 15-30 minutes that you will do together each night. Activities that will keep her mind away from spiraling, think about positive things and safe things and what is great in her day. Maybe a body scan or journaling together or highlights of the day.
Golden Nugget
Lean into daily radical transparency! Really trying to increase the amount we are talking about everything. Creating more routines, routines that make her recognize and live in the present moment. This will help her get out of the future worry and fear and into the present moment where she can thrive.
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About this Episode
JoAnna has an awesome family that is comprised of her husband Fan and their three wild children. Her oldest, G is 7 years old. Her middle, E is 5 years old. Her youngest, B is 21 months old. We are using initials for the podcast, they have full names in other places in their lives :)
JoAnna also shares lots of her parenting and educational perspective on her channel @positively_parenting on Instagram. Go check her out!
Go To Glitter
In the summer, the family favorite is swimming. Playing in the water is something everyone can enjoy, even though her husband does not generally love being outside. Water allows for a fresh start, reset during the day. In winter she will throw her youngest in the tub and bring them all into the shower together, with bubbles and coloring to make it even more fun. Even playing in the snow is part of what the family enjoys or is learning to enjoy!
Dr. Marcie's Must Make Moves
This is the first time you are doing this, each of you (as a parent and for your children). Remember you are learning, so there will be bumps in the road.
1. Being in relationships does not mean always getting along. It is about teaching them to have compassionate conflict and to communicate their needs. Communicating needs can look likes using the words "I feel..." and "I love you and I need ... right now" or "Not now, we can play later when...". So that everyone can get their needs met with specific communication.
2. Modeling is not enough for your kids to learn skills. You need to model and teach them. Say in clear and direct language what you need from them, what you are doing that is supporting them, and how they can use these same tools to support each other. Give them a script and context to use the tools themselves.
3. Emotional regulation - when you are having a hard day, say it and enroll them in supporting you more proactively. Then model what it takes to stay in the emotional transparent conversation as the day unfolds.
Golden Nugget
The golden nugget for JoAnna is clear, concise communication. Being clear of with expectations and boundaries. It can be for everything! Being clear about interactions and what you would like to see/expect and our own thoughts. Be clear and explicit will fix so many things! Such a universal tool for so many relationships!
Additional Episodes
If you enjoyed this episode you may want to check out Season 2, Episode 6.
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About the episode
Cassy is the mom of twins 9 year olds who are headed into 3rd grade. Rae, her son, is introverted and reserved. Rose, her daughter, is energetic and outgoing. Cassy and her husband look for ways to balance their seemingly very different children.
Go To Glitter
We always have a good time when we go places! That can be staying in a local hotel and visiting a water park or taking a cruise or traveling internationally. We love to travel as a family and spending time in new environments.
Dr. Marcie's Must Make Moves
1. Continue to parent each child differently. Support your son to see the bigger picture. Support your daughter to see her value outside of what she is giving.
2. Ask questions to help them both see the areas they need to extend. Rather than provide scaffolding for your son, ask him questions to realize the support he is receiving and build his awareness. For your daughter help her reflect on what she needs first, before she helps others.
3. Create proactive goals. Set up ways for them each to grow in new ways, as you enter into situations rather then as a correction after the moment has passed.
Golden Nugget
Asking more questions. For my son, that will be asking 'what do you think your sister might want?' instead of telling him to do something. For my daughter, that will be asking her to think beyond her giving.
Here are some additional questions you can ask your kids
5 Questions to try with your kids who are like Ray:
1. Do you think anyone else would want a ___ also? 2. Who else would enjoy this? 3. Before you get started, what else/who else needs to be included? 4. How do you think this will impact _____ (your sister/friend/teacher)? Is that the impact you want to create? 5. What would make someone else smile today?
5 Questions to try with your kids who are like Rose:
1. What would you like to do? 2. Who shared with you today? 3. Before you help ____, what do you need for yourself? 4. How are you feeling? 5. What friend made you smile today? What did they do?
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About this episode
Mel is the mom in a family that is on the go. She is married to Jacob, her husband. Together they have 2 children; Mickey who just turned 10 and JJ who will turn 7 a month after this episode was recorded.
Go To Glitter
When there is time on the weekend, everyone meets on the couch and together they play MarioCart. Sometimes they play a game of Sorry or another board game that does not take long to play. Generally it is about a half hour of just fun! These times, don't happen often. Mel says not even once a week.
Dr. Marcie's Must Make Moves
1. Have time daily to enjoy time together. Just 5 minutes can make a big difference! When we are having fun together, it is easier to navigate through the hard moments because the relationship is stronger
2. Communicate with the kids about the schedule. Talk to them when there are changes. Often we talk to each other as the adults and forget to relay the reasons, decisions and changes to the kids. Sharing a little more with them can go a long way. This can be done through a Sunday family meeting talking about the week or just a simple update when a different parent shows up at school pick up.
3. We have to set the tone and lead our children. If your child wants more independence, how do you make an intentional plan to give them more independence? Do not just wait for them to ask for something and you respond, build it with intention and talk about how being responsible with independence makes you more likely to give them more. Leading the tone also means that when repairs in relationships are needed, we as the adults need to go first. We need to show up and be excited to spend time with our child, even if we have not been getting along. We need to say it is time to have fun if things have been crunchy lately. It can be hard and you can do the hard thing to repair the relationship because your child will follow your lead!
Golden Nugget
The golden nugget that resonated most was daily fun, engaging with Go To Glitter regularly. Mel said she is going to do her best to have just 5 minutes of play time as a family everyday and a larger chunk weekly. The second nugget she is taking away is the need for more communication. She now sees how many of their problems center around lack of communication. The impact of vocalizing needs or discomforts was highlighted and she wants to start making sure that everyone knows all the important details.
If you enjoyed this episode, check out Episode 8, Season 2!
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Michael has 3 wonderful women in his life. His two daughters: Juniper who is 6 and Diana who is 3, and his wife Nora. As a family they make an event of Sunday swim classes, walking together to class and then out to brunch after. While the girls love their time in the pool, the family gets to have a joyful day together with swimming being in the center of it.
Lately Michael has been thinking about re-parenting, a concept Dr. Marcie had not heard before. The idea is that we parent the way we were parented, which certainly makes sense. Michael was raised with an authoritative dad is finding that is not how he wants to parent and yet instinctually does at times. The stern disciplinarian comes out and he is curious how to change.
Dr. Marcie asked when are the moments he is more likely to go into these responses. Michael shared that it is often when others are around or when the girls are not listening.
Here are the 3 big suggestions that Dr. Marcie shared:
1. Do not assume that other people's opinions are right. When relatives or friends are around and they comment on your kids behavior, you are more likely to jump to stop something and make a change. However, their opinion might not be right. Make sure to pause and assess for yourself. Sometimes the right course of action is to reinforce that what your kids are doing is a-okey with you.
2. When it comes to listening skills, the authoritative perspective is a correction. Instead try to use positive action based directions. Tell the girls what to do in specific language and then keep guiding them until the action happens. This keeps everyone on track and teaches them to listen.
3. We know when our hard moments are. We know what routines are more challenging. So proactively talk about this, pre-frame the event with positivity, rather than waiting for it to fall apart. Share that you are heading to a certain activity and you know it is going to be smooth sailing. It helps everyone stay in a productive and positive state of mind.
Michael's one small step take away was about the division of his attention and how to make sure he is providing positive attention when things are going well, rather than corrective attention when there are hard moments. Specifically this guidance was around hitting. Listen to the whole episode to get all the details on this golden nugget!"
Subscribe at DrMarcie.com/podcast for the latest episodes.
Go to DrMarcie.com/podcastguest to be a guest on a future episode.
Visit DrMarcie.com/contact to connect directly with Dr. Marcie and her team.
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Anna is the mom of 3 exciting children. Her daughter, Lucy is the middle child and in 7th grade. Anna said that she is the most self sufficient of her children and happy to off and do her own thing. This can be a great thing and a challenge, depending on the circumstances. Mom sees a lof of herself in Lucy and loves her independence and passion.
The challenge we discussed is that when there is something that Lucy does not want to do, she doesn't do it. Not in a loud and defiant way, she doesn't fight about it. She simply does not do it. The avoidance of controntation and the difficulty in having emotional conversations is on Anna's mind and she has been exploring different tools to help support Lucy. Anna knows there will be situations in her future that will require her to get out of her comfort zone and wants her to be prepared.
Dr. Marcie first talked about reflecting on the current baseline. To change any behavior we need to look at where we currently are and take just one small step in a positive direction. Focus on progress and not the end result. This will allow Anna to see the hard work that Lucy is putting in each day to grow. Dr. Marcie encouraged Anna to think about what is one small step out of Lucy's comfort zone (a 2 minute conversation about emotions), rather than the full behavior she wants to see (sharing about a challenging moment in school). The next thing that Anna and Dr. Marcie talked about is the difference in different personalities. Dr. Marcie used herself as an example as someone who loves talking to new people, which is very different from Lucy who is quieter and prefers to connect with people she knows. It's not that one of them is right and one is wrong, it is simply different preferences.
The final piece was talking about how to make it easier to do hard things. When asking Lucy to read a new book, could Anna do it with her in a cozy bed, with a delicious snack? Bringing in comfort as support when doing new things may make it easier for Lucy to engage.
Subscribe at DrMarcie.com/podcast for the latest episodes.
Go to DrMarcie.com/podcastguest to be a guest on a future episode.
Visit DrMarcie.com/contact to connect directly with Dr. Marcie and her team.
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Mariah is the mom of two children. Joe is 9 and 1/2 and Clara recently turned 7. Over the past few years they have been on a journey with Joe of evaluations, medications, and support as they navigated his neurodiversity. It has been a long journey with many bumps. Todays conversation is not about Joe. Today Mariah wanted to talk about her daughter Clara, who experienced the rage and explosions since she was 4 years old. Recently she has been exhibiting her own challenging behavior, demonstrating behavior similar to what her brother used to do. Mariah is sensitive to the differences in her children and realizes that her daughter is not having the same struggle as her son, so she is not sure what to do.
Clara watched as her brother received help and the family received support, she is now verbalizing that she wants help also. She is able to self regulate and able to express that she is 'doing what her brother did'. Receiving the right support for her is different than her brother and she still needs support.
Dr. Marcie suggested having her see a therapist to talk through her trauma. In conjunction with that, she highlighted additional elements that might support Clara:
1. Creating moments where Clara receives 100% of Mariah's attention. During the intense moments her brother had, all the family attention was on him. Now she, unconciously, wants that same intensitiy of attention. Create moments, intentionally, where Clara can receive this focused attention without the breakdown.
2. Provide predictability in the time she gets with her parents. Have 1:1 time that is scheduled. If she knows that it happens every day or every week, reliably, she will not need to create situations for it happen.
3. Create moments of hight intensity emotions that are positive and fun. Dr. Marcie suggested Positive Yelling, during which parents use all the characteristics of yelling yet done with positive words when something good happens. Kids have big emotions and seeing their parents have big emotions helps them feel seen and safe. Positive Yelling is a great way to show Clara that big feelings can be a positive experience.
Overall, Dr. Marcie suggested to bring in more joy to the family. Things are in a good place with Joe and Clara seems to be looking for connection with her behavior. Brining in more happy moments, intentionally will be a healing place for the entire family.Subscribe at DrMarcie.com/podcast for the latest episodes.
Go to DrMarcie.com/podcastguest to be a guest on a future episode.
Visit DrMarcie.com/contact to connect directly with Dr. Marcie and her team.
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Liz is part of a big blended family. She and her husband are both the 3rd of 4 children in big, connected, caring families. They have two children with another coming in 3 months. They are culturally diverse, dad is from Argentina and mom is from the United States and the family is bilingual. Together they travel a lot, spend time with extended family and love doing anything in/near the water.
Asher, the oldest at 3 1/2 years old, heard that he was having another brother soon and he was not excited. At first he asked if that could not happen. Liz talked about how he was going to have to be a helper and all the exciting things about being a big brother. Soon he started to share with others that he was having a brother, this is a great sign. Dr. Marcie shared strategies that may help any upcoming bumps by creating jobs for him to do when the baby is here and setting up some individual intentional time together so he knows when his mom time is happening.
There are a lot of changes happening and Liz shared that there are a lot of tantrums also happening. What Dr. Marcie shared is that perhaps while Asher is getting excited about being a big brother again, he is having feelings about all the changes and uncertainity. Liz travels a lot for work and does not always share when she will be gone in advance. They travel a lot as a family. With so many moving pieces, Asher might need some clarity. Dr. Marcie suggested creating a calendar so that he knows when is mom traveling, when is the family traveling and when are people coming to visit their home. Dr. Marcie also suggested creating small moments each day of reliable interaction. When Liz works from home, share with Asher when she will have a break and come out of her office to connect with him. The final suggestion was to create rituals around her travel, routines that she can do with Asher when she leaves and when she comes back that will help him adjust to the changes.
In the final part of the conversation Liz shared that she finds herself getting frustrated and giving in more often, especially as her pregnancy progresses. Asher asks and asks and asks, eventually she caves. Dr. Marcie suggested saying yes more often. When he asks for something, if she thinks he could wear her down, just start with yes. More important than any one request is that Asher learn that yes means yes and no means no. Right now he is learning that no means ask again with louder behavior. This is Liz's one big take away, to say yes more!
Subscribe at DrMarcie.com/podcast for the latest episodes.
Go to DrMarcie.com/podcastguest to be a guest on a future episode.
Visit DrMarcie.com/contact to connect directly with Dr. Marcie and her team.
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They are a family of two, Amanda is the mom and Isaac is her 13 year old son. Amanda knew her life would not be complete without a child, so she adopted Isaac. As life unfolds, Amanda sees how different they are and how they learn so much from each other. Mom is a self proclaimed nerd who is happy curled up with a book and Isaac loves soccer and is always in motion. When asked what they enjoy doing together, Amanda had a hard time answering, even though she came up with a long list. Together they ride bikes, go on road trips, play chess, and watch movies.
Lately, Amanda has been feeling like she has not had as much time with her son and wanted to discuss ways of strengthening their relationship. Through her conversation with Dr. Marcie, they came up with several ways to bring more intentionality to their time together:
1. Notice when you are actually spending time together, it may be more than you think. When we focus on lack, we see the lack. Shifting view can make a big impact!
2. Talk to Isaac about what he would like to do together. Amanda has been thinking about this all by herself, yet it is about a relationship with her son. It is important to make him part of the conversation, transition, and decision.
3. Create intentional time together. Perhaps dinner 1 night a week and 1 adventure a week. Given that they both have busy schedules, Dr. Marcie recommended that they sit down Sunday nights and make a plan for the week together.
4. Consider what traditions still serve the family and what needs to adjust. There are some things you did each week/month/year that were great when he was a little kid and now that he is a teen do they still support both of your needs? Traditions are important and so is reflection on those traditions. Keep the ones that support the family and shift the ones that are no longer meeting your needs.
Subscribe at DrMarcie.com/podcast for the latest episodes.
Go to DrMarcie.com/podcastguest to be a guest on a future episode.
Visit DrMarcie.com/contact to connect directly with Dr. Marcie and her team.
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Mary Ann lives with her husband Jeff and 12 year old son Carter. They love spending time together just hanging out, especially in the summer around the pool. As a full time working mom, Mary Ann found that the lockdown from COVID allowed her more time with her son, something that she is grateful for. She, like most parents, starting doing more for him in an effort to make a really hard moment in time easier. This moment in time lasted 18 months. In order to make space for this additional parenting and life demands, Mary Ann stopped taking time for herself. Three years later she is still finding her way back - building independence for her son and scheduling self care practices for herself.
For her son, Mary Ann continues to help her son each night with his homework. He is in 6th grade and independent in so many ways, but not with homework. We talked abou tthe difference between this being something he needs and something he wants. Seems like he is able cognitively to do his homework himself, just likes have the emotional support. So, Dr. Marcie encouraged Mary Ann to think about how she can emotionally support Carter while stepping back from supporting his actual work. This could be sitting with him while he does his work and reading a book (being present, not engaged) or having him do homework in the kitchen while she cooks dinner (near by and doing other needed tasks). Talking to him about this switch will help them both remember that he is capable and ready for this next step.
As for her self care, that is something Mary Ann is working to bring back in. She revealed that she feels like it needs to be her doing all the parenting, even though her husband is more than capable and willing. This belief is stopping her from asking for help and taking time to take care of herself. Self care will make her a better parent and model for her son what it is like to prioritize yourself. It will teach him not just to take care of others but to take care of himself as well. It is a valuable lesson for them both! Mary Ann is taking small steps on her self care journey by journaling a few minutes a day and exploring new practices that help her stay grounded and organized.
If you liked this episode - you may also enjoy Episode 3 of Season 1 - all about perfectionism in parenting.
Subscribe at DrMarcie.com/podcast for the latest episodes.
Go to DrMarcie.com/podcastguest to be a guest on a future episode.
Visit DrMarcie.com/contact to connect directly with Dr. Marcie and her team.
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Jan and Cookie have a 4 1/2 year old son Mika. Last year they move from Canada to Germany to be closer to family. Having grandparents just 5 minutes away has been a great change for their family. Mika is an active boy who loves going on bike rides with his mom and swimming with his parents when they have the chance.
The tricky moments feel like they come out of nowhere. Something happens and he gets mad. At times, mom also then gets mad, though she knows that this does not help. We talked about the impact of her modeling what to do when she feels angry to help Mika learn what anger can look like. Yes, this is easier said then done!
What helps when he is angry? A hug from dad or taking some deep breaths together. Dr. Marcie shared some new possibilities that included mom and dad modeling taking deep breaths when Mika does not want to and proactively creating activity to move his anger before he feels it. The proactive moments would be when they ask him to do something that often creates an angry response. Instead of waiting for the anger to come, get him moving to shift the anger before it explodes.
Big feelings happen for a lot of kids and we ended the conversation talking about ways to teach feelings. Often kids don't have words for their feelings. So rather than asking them to label their feelings, ask them about the sensations they are having in their body, do a body scan where they can check in on different body parts to see how they feel. Once they have this skill, then you can work on moving and changing the sensations to shift emotions. Jan and Cookie plan to make this a daily practice in their home where they will all learn together to be more aware of their feelings.
If you liked this episode, you may also enjoy Season 1, Episode 4. Listen to another couple talk with Dr. Marcie about the power of positive parenting!
Subscribe at DrMarcie.com/podcast for the latest episodes.
Go to DrMarcie.com/podcastguest to be a guest on a future episode.
Visit DrMarcie.com/contact to connect directly with Dr. Marcie and her team.
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Kat Ruiz is the mother of two children. Her son Sebastian just turned 13 years old and her daughter Nina is 9 years old. Sebastian has always been an energetic child and when he was in 4th grade, he was diagnosed with ADHD. Then the pandemic hit. Kat shares her journey as she, her husband and 2 kids left New York City and ultimately relocated to their home in Montauk.
We talked about what parenting was like before his evaluation and the stigma of having a 'bad kid'. We talked about the privilege of being able to get a private evaluation and understanding what was happening for her son. We talked about positive impact of therapy and medication. Kat shared how she learned, through going to therapy with her son, that his behavior is not personal. A sentiment that Dr. Marcie often shares behavior is communication of a need, it's not personal.
Parenting is a journey and one of the big themes throughout the conversation is that parents are part of the solution and have to be active in the process of change. Kat has been growing and learning with her son through this journey and sees the positive impact is has made. One small step at a time, they keep moving forward.
If you connected with Kat's story and want to learn about the wellness work she does in the world, you can find her on instagram @Katruizwellness
If you liked this episode, check out Season 1 Episode 8 to hear from another mother about their journey with special needs.
Subscribe at DrMarcie.com/podcast for the latest episodes.
Go to DrMarcie.com/podcastguest to be a guest on a future episode.
Visit DrMarcie.com/contact to connect directly with Dr. Marcie and her team.
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Gary has been with Courtney for over 20 years in a long and happy marriage. They have two boys together. Garrett is 5 years old (almost 6) and Cameron is 6 months old. They are an interracial family, with Gary being black and Courtney is caucasian. Having time together as a family is one of Gary's favorite activities.
Our conversation focused on one comment Garrett made to his dad recently. He came home from school and said, "My hair and my skin are not cool." Heartbroken, Gary reached out to discuss the best ways to talk with his son in light of this comment.
I broke it down into two different elements:
1. Making sure Garrett loves himself....skills to build resiliency and positive self identity.
2. Talking about racism and bias in an age appropriate way to help him face the challenges he may face as he grows up.
Gary had not yet started having conversations with his children about racism and the systemic ways it creates imbalance in the world. Today is the day he is starting. Using story telling, intentional modeling of amazing and diverse people, and many many many small moments to teach Garrett that his is cool!
If you enjoyed this episode, then you may also enjoy Episode 9 of Season 1 where Dr. Marcie shares ways to advocate for your child.
Subscribe on this platform or at DrMarcie.com/podcast for the latest episodes.
Go to DrMarcie.com/podcastguest to be a guest on a future episode.
Visit DrMarcie.com/contact to connect directly with Dr. Marcie and her team.
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Elisabeth is the mother of Angus and step-mom to Imogene. Most of our session focused on Angus or the dynamics of co-parenting. Her and her husband Joel have different parenting styles and that is typical in most families with two parents. The challenge is accepting that your partner will parent differently than you and that is ok!
The main topic in our conversation is that her son has ADHD and Elisabeth is not always sure how to communicate to school or with camp about his unique needs. She wants to honor the expertise of the professionals and knows that her son does not fit in the boxes that most teachers or counselors put kids in. We talked about boldly sharing about Angus. Sharing how he engages in environments and solutions to help them make his days easier. Not just saying he has a hard time with transitions, but also giving strategies the teachers can easily use to help him thrive.
We also talked about how hard it can be to let your child learn, which sometimes means letting them fail. Elisabeth has a hard time watching Angus struggle and I reminded her that this is part of life. Learning to do hard things and struggle is a critical life skill. Helping her son learn this now will make him a resilient adult and that is an important skill for a long and happy life.
At the end of the podcast Elisabeth shares that her one big take away is that she can do hard things, just like she wants to teach her son to do hard things. So she will sit down and write the letter that she knows will help him be successful in school and camp!
Subscribe at DrMarcie.com/podcast for the latest episodes.
Go to DrMarcie.com/podcastguest to be a guest on a future episode.
Visit DrMarcie.com/contact to connect directly with Dr. Marcie and her team.
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Jess and her wife have two wonderful children. Both of her children have a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder. As a family they use many tools to help the days go smoothly and help keep everyone on track. Jess wanted to know, how can she stop herself from yelling at her kids. She finds that when frustrating moments hit, her volume increases. Not only would she like to be a parent who does not yell, she also finds that her behaviors makes it harder for her eldest to stay on task. Her eldest, A, finds it hard any time she perceives she is being yelled at. We talked about ways to address moments when Jess is actually yelling, as well as, how to navigate moments when A feels like she is being yelled at.
Subscribe at DrMarcie.com/podcast for the latest episodes.
Go to DrMarcie.com/podcastguest to be a guest on a future episode.
Visit DrMarcie.com/contact to connect directly with Dr. Marcie and her team.
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