Folgen
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There is a massive, misery-inducing downside of success:
While achievements are great, they aren’t enough to make life meaningful. But most achievers have been tricked into believing the exact opposite. And the more they achieve their wildest goals, the more empty they feel inside.
If you keep grinding without reflecting on why you’re so miserable, you may find yourself ready to call it quits with life—even if you have external success that makes others jealous. In fact, I found myself in this exact situation: I achieved every goal I had as a teenager… but ended up on a ledge on the 57th floor on a skyscraper ready to jump.
Why?
Because achievements alone don’t make life meaningful and conquering more goals without addressing your emotions will only make you more miserable.
But don’t worry - there’s a way out of this vicious cycle.
In today’s episode, I reveal how you can break out of this achievement trap, why your personal happiness improves your productivity and creativity, and how to stop seeking success for success’s sake.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The weird way groundbreaking achievements lead to “rock bottom misery” if you have this common flaw (1:21) A Nobel Prize-winning philosopher’s warning about how prioritizing your career torments your soul (3:48) An unusual way to improve your resilience, creativity, and better handle stress that most achievers never consider (5:27) How seeing your close friends on a regular basis can add 12 years to your life (8:25) Why dating a model and actress threw me into the deepest depressive funk I’ve ever been in—and how to avoid making this mistake in your life (19:08) How to unlock a constant stream of peak “flow state” according to hard, scientific data (26:30)For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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If you’re an achiever, whether you notice it or not, you’re on a dangerous path.
Why?
Well, most achievers fall into something I call the “Achiever’s Trap.” It’s an endless vicious cycle of achieving. Now, that might not sound dangerous at first, but a constant desire for success can only lead to burnout, isolation, depression, and even an early death.
There are other things which, believe it or not, are more important to your long-term happiness and longevity than success alone.
In today’s show, you’ll discover how the Achiever’s Trap mangles your happiness, why it can lead to an early death, and what you should focus on instead of success to live a long, healthy, and fulfilling life.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The insidious “Achiever’s Trap” which keeps you unfilled and unhappy despite your success (and how to overcome it) (0:49) This Harvard research study reveals the only way to find lasting happiness (1:34) Why chasing success leads to burnout, loneliness, and depression (4:29) The #1 predictor of long-term happiness and a long life (10:52) How your relentless pursuit of success can sabotage your physical health (13:05) The simple mindset shift that turns your feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction into fulfillment (27:21)For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Fehlende Folgen?
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After helping hundreds of thousands of people, from 87 different countries, find fulfillment, happiness and meaning in their personal and professional lives, I’ve decided to start a new journey to help you do the same.
Beyond Success is a brand-new show that explores the ideas that lead to lasting happiness and fulfillment—not just short-lived “success.”
If you’ve succeeded on the outside but feel like something deeper is missing, this show will pave the road for your happiness and fulfillment on the inside.
In this introductory episode, I reveal the key concepts and ideas that we’ll discuss on this podcast, explore how to invite more joy into your life, and shatter some of the biggest myths keeping you successful, yet unfulfilled.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Are you successful on the outside but feel like something deeper is missing? Here’s how to feel fulfilled and successful (1:10) Why striving for perfection fast tracks you towards failure (and why focusing on this instead unlocks true happiness) (2:32) Is there a way to enjoy life and achieve your goals with more ease and efficiency? Yes, and here’s how to do it (3:21) How embracing your emotions (instead of instantly shutting them down) improves your decision-making process (3:49) The single most dangerous word in the English language for your joy (4:19)For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Socially awkward guys don’t get girls, that’s the cold, hard truth. But hiding your social awkwardness and anxiety isn’t the answer either. When you repress, exile, and cut out your social anxiety in order to feel good about yourself, you force it further into your subconscious.
And when you cram it into the depths of your brain? It’s still active, and it’s still there sabotaging your success, but now you’re no longer aware of it.
That’s the bad news.
The good news?
You can leverage your social anxiety and awkwardness to meet and date women in your life. You just need to know how to tap into it. And in today's episode, David reveals a few strange and unique ways to free yourself from crippling shyness.
Listen now!
Show Highlights Include:
The weird way shouting from the peak of a mountain you’re a nerdy comic book fan frees yourself from crippling shyness and debilitating social anxiety (1:55) How following the “normal solution” to inner conflict pollutes your subconscious with negative thoughts that sabotage your ability to have a loving relationship (2:34) Unable to find fulfillment? Here’s how to unlock the subconscious, repressed parts of your brain (and discover how to let go of the things you can’t change) (3:36) The outdated, and backward idea that “ego is the enemy” (and how to never rely on stress, anxiety, pressure, and deadlines in order to get things done ever again) (5:29) How proudly displaying your superiority complex magnetizes unconditional love, approval, and security in your self-worth (17:58)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Do you buy into the myth that success alone brings happiness and fulfillment? The techniques 95% of Americans use to strive for success, growth, and personal development guarantees they won’t be fulfilled in the long run.
There is a completely different and unique way to approach success. And it’s imperative you discover this way to gain personal happiness, success, and insane amounts of growth in your life.
In today’s episode, you’ll discover how to experience success and growth — while also being happy, fulfilled, and not having to wait until you succeed in order to be happy.
Listen now!
Show Highlights:
The polar-opposite method to build a financial empire comparable to Rome (without stress, anxiety, and depression) (1:20) How your parents lied to you about the concept of self-worth (and how this lie keeps you mired in a state of loneliness and poverty) (3:26) The counter-intuitive way dreaming of “sipping pina coladas on the beach” will force you to become a desperate workaholic who never spends time with your kids (11:15) How immersing yourself in “flow capital” will scientifically unlock a never ending state of high happiness (13:28) Why you’ll chain yourself down with concrete in the Hudson River if you wake up with nothing to do on Monday (14:25)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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From a young age, attractive women become masters at sniffing out neediness. Most men don’t discover this fact about life until they’ve sabotaged their dating lives and relationships.
But here’s the good news:
There’s a proven system for overcoming your neediness. It won’t happen overnight, but it will free you from the sadistic grip neediness has over you.
In this episode, you’ll discover the 7 steps to obliterate your neediness for good.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
- How your fear about relationships dupes you into making relationship-ending mistakes (even if you don’t realize it) (2:40)
- The counterintuitive reason becoming wealthy skyrockets your neediness (3:04)
- Why women can see through your inauthentic attempts to get to know their personality like Swiss cheese (4:41)
- The fundamental human needs that help you exterminate your neediness (9:03)
- Why having an agenda of picking up women when you go out subconsciously repels them from you (13:27)
- The 7 experiential steps to meet your own needs and obliterate your neediness (20:30)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery -
In order to find a loving relationship, you need to become somebody you’re not.
You need to rock a new haircut, fill your wardrobe with designer clothes, and hit the gym 24/7. You need to morph into Sean Connery’s James Bond.
Charming, handsome, seductive, and irresistible to modern women.
Here’s the thing: If you’re seeking a long-term relationship, this is easily the worst advice you could ever listen to!
Now, if you're optimizing your life for a short-term fling, have at it. Be the “player.”
But I’m assuming you're reading this because you want a long-term relationship. And if you are, then what you need to do is unburden the already naturally attractive parts in you.
In today’s episode, I reveal the 7 steps to unleashing the already naturally attractive parts within you.
Listen now!
Show Highlights Include:
- The “BSYANA” myth that sabotages your chances of finding a loving relationship with the “one” (3:28)
- How to unleash the naturally attractive parts of yourself with these 7 steps (9:03)
- Why most men fail to be the man that modern women desire most (hint: it’s not being a macho man like Sean Connery’s James Bond) (16:23)
- The “LASAE” strategy to be sexually attractive in the eyes of heterosexual women (21:01)
- How to form deeper emotional connections with women by teleporting back to your teenage self (23:33)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery -
A lot of guys struggle with dating for a fundamental reason:
They don’t even know themselves well enough to attract a kindred spirit. Relationships and dating become much easier when you have similar interests and values as your partner. This is particularly true at the beginning of the dating process. And it doesn’t rely on you getting lucky on a dating app.
But how do you discover yourself and your true interests? And how does this naturally attract your ideal partner to you?
Well, here’s some good news:
This self-discovery process is fun!
And after listening to this episode, you’ll not only know how to take this self-discovery journey in the most effective way, but you’ll also figure out how to “twist” this into attracting your ideal partner.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How to optimize your lifestyle in a way that naturally brings potential partners into your life who are well suited to you (1:49) 5 simple exercises to figure out your favorite hobbies (even if you’ve never done them before) (5:03) Why discovering more hobbies can naturally magnetize your ideal partner (7:07) The “Social Aspects” secret for twisting your favorite hobby into a social activity (7:30) How to meet suitable romantic partners without wasting time swiping left or right on dating apps (9:14) How to build a balanced and attractive lifestyle (even if you’re naturally shy) (17:48) An unusual way to eliminate your neediness by simply having fun (21:43)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Do you ever wish you were more alpha?
It’s a big buzzword thrown around in forums by bitter and resentful men. And if you keep striving to be more alpha, you’ll suffocate your relationships, suppress your emotions, and sabotage your happiness.
Why?
Because the pop culture view of the alpha male couldn’t be further from the truth about how real alphas operate. It’s not about being feared or dominating, it’s about leading with compassion, connection, and empathy.
If you want to be a true alpha and embody real masculinity, you have to stop striving to be an alpha. It’s counterintuitive, but effective.
In today’s show, I debunk the myth of the alpha male, explain how striving to be more alpha leads you down a destructive and isolating path, and reveal how to embody a healthier, truer version of masculinity that leads to lasting happiness and fulfillment—both in your relationships and your life.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The insidious “Fake Alpha Male” trap men fall into when they frequent forums that leads you down a destructive and isolating path (0:31) Why true alpha males are actually the most empathetic, most protective of the weak, and the ultimate peace keepers (2:26) The root causes of wanting to be a toxic alpha male (and how addressing them leads to a happier, more fulfilled life) (6:59) Why striving to be seen as an alpha male automatically means you’re not (and how to be ok with yourself even when you’re not admired, respected, or feared) (12:51) How your desperation to be an alpha male suffocates your relationships, suppresses your emotions, and sabotages your happiness (17:44) The “Aragorn” secret for embodying a healthier and truer version of masculinity (28:12)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Today I’d like you to meet Ryan.
Ryan’s a first responder with a strong sense of fairness, and he loves to help people who need it.
Those are both noble qualities, so on the surface it all sounds great. But as Ryan processed the end of a marriage he tried to make sense of why some things bothered him so much, and why certain patterns kept repeating in his life.
He turned to me to talk about it, and together we explored how even great qualities can cause problems when they’re driven by unresolved issues lingering beneath the surface.
This episode is definitely for you if you get enraged when people offend you, or have trouble setting boundaries. You’ll learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries, and practical questions to ask yourself as you work through situations that make you mad.
You’ll also be reminded that you’re probably not broken, you probably don’t need fixing, but you, like everyone else, can still grow, improve, and mature. Remembering this can help you be more empathetic to yourself and others.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How to know when the high standards you have for other people are justified and when they aren’t. (8:29) The surprising reality behind that rage you feel and how embracing it can help you handle unprocessed resentment. (10:33) Why an empty chair can help you patch a damaged relationship. (13:03) How to set healthy boundaries so people can’t hijack your emotions and live in your mind rent free. (19:00) The clear difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries. (19:24) The stunning reason society is better when people have the right to be jerks. And the nightmare result if that right is revoked. (21:55) The only question you need to ask to know if your anger is misplaced. (23:29) Why spitting on your father’s grave could improve relationships. (23:43) The counterintuitive way focusing on yourself makes you more empathetic. (27:56) “Savior Cycle”: What it is and how to know when to jump in and help, and when to stand down. (34:16) The Jean-Luc Picard method to process trauma. (35:49) The Quicksand Strategy to love somebody through their problems. (45:17)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Inside Out 2 gives you a brilliant in-depth look into your inner world. Just by watching the movie, you’ll better understand yourself, your emotions, and how to handle emotions better.
But if you pair this movie with this podcast episode, you’ll also discover the actionable steps you can take today to balance your emotions, access your higher self, and lead the various parts of you more effectively.
The result?
You’ll become more attractive. You’ll have an easier time dating. You’ll develop healthier and stronger relationships. And you’ll create a better life for yourself all around.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why watching movies like Inside Out 2 are more effective for mastering your emotions than many books and courses (1:39) The weird way watching Inside Out 2 can improve your dating life (3:09) How to get a better understanding of how anxiety interferes with and sabotages your life (3:42) Why the “Be Yourself” advice shy guys usually hear increases their anxiety (and how to get over this feeling) (5:58) How to radically improve your self-confidence by using the “From Within” secret (8:30) How anxiety hijacks your imagination and weaponizes your thoughts against you (and one trick to help ease your anxiety) (10:35) Why cold water and exercise can dramatically decrease your anxiety (12:40) An in-depth look at how anxiety affects all of your parts from an IFS lens (16:53) How to apply the lessons embedded in Inside Out 2 to real life (19:13) Why balancing your emotions instead of suppressing them leads to healthier relationships and better decisions (25:12)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Perhaps the biggest lie spread by the Red Pill community is how humans are simple slaves to our biology. This is how they rationalize the obviously irrational myth that a woman will leave you as soon as she finds a more attractive, wealthier, or higher-status man.
Not only does this myth corrupt your relationship with women, but it can even corrupt the relationship you have with yourself. The sad truth is falling for the Red Pill lies is a fast way to end up lonely, miserable, and hopeless.
That’s the bad news.
The good news?
Despite how attractive the Red Pill mindset can be to some men, it’s based on blatant lies. And I'll prove it in this episode.
In today’s show, you’ll discover why women aren’t slaves to hypergamy and status-chasing, how you can boost your attractiveness to women, and the real characteristics women value more than wealth, status, or good looks.
If you’ve been stuck in the Red Pill trap, this episode will help free you from it—before you wind up bitter, resentful, and hopeless.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How adopting a “Red Pill Mindset” leads to bitterness and resentment at best—and pain, self-destruction, and hopelessness at worst (0:47) Why women aren’t only interested in status-chasing with their relationships (even if the Red Pill bros say they are) (3:45) The biggest misconceptions about hypergamy spread by Red Pill circles that will always make you feel less fulfilled in a relationship than you otherwise would’ve been (7:19) How to avoid projecting your deepest, darkest secrets onto your partner (13:28) Need proof that the Red Pill community is full of you-know-what? Look no further than at… (16:41) 3 powerful tools for couples to help them build their emotional intelligence and adopt a growth mindset so their relationship improves over time (instead of becoming another divorce statistic) (18:46) Hate getting into fights with your partner? Here’s how developing your EQ can transform dumpster fires into opportunities to strengthen your bond (20:13) 4 character traits that women value more than your looks, status, or wealth (27:22)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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There are two specific virtues characteristic of your higher self. These two virtues can turn your inner demons into inner supporters. They help you overcome deep-seated trauma and pain that keeps sabotaging your relationships. They can reduce your anxiety and depression. And they can make every aspect of your life—whether in relationships, in your career, or anything else—more fulfilling and enjoyable.
So, what are these two virtues?
Courage and compassion.
While courage is generally considered masculine and compassion feminine, the combination of the two is the only way to heal you of your traumas, free yourself from the burden of resentment, and start you on a journey towards true transformative change.
But I won’t delude you: Developing courage and compassion can be difficult. That’s why it’s so rare when it happens in real life.
That said, it’s possible. And after listening to this episode, you’ll be steps ahead of the average person towards developing these two virtues.
In today’s show, you’ll discover how courage and compassion heal and integrate your inner parts, how to balance justice and mercy after someone wrongs you, why forgiveness benefits both the forgiver and forgiven, and realize how crucial these two virtues are for creating a life without regrets.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why hurt people hurt people—and how to break this vicious cycle instead of perpetuating it (0:38) How to morph your inner demons into inner supporters through the “Two C’s” method (1:02) The “respond, not react” secret for healing your deep-rooted traumas and pains in a healthier and more effective way (5:18) How scribbling in a journal or walking in nature can help you reconnect with your true self and heal your traumas (7:03) Do you have trouble forgiving people who have wronged you? Here’s how to free yourself from the burden of resentment (and why it’s crucial for your emotional health and relationship) (9:22) 2 exercises you can do today and for free to cultivate the skill of courage and compassion (20:11) How to react and respond better to life’s natural ups and downs (without being overwhelmed by negative emotions) (25:30)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Most men, especially hypermasculine men, feel like therapy doesn’t work for them. Or worse yet, that therapy could never work for them.
And I get it. Not only are up to 80% of mental health workers women, but traditional psychotherapy operates through a feminine lens that further alienates masculine men.
When men go through traditional therapy, they often feel discouraged, angry, and unheard. Because the feminine approach doesn't account for their lifelong conditioning about how emotions make you weak.
But nothing could be further from the truth: Not only do emotions add all the spice to life that makes it worth living, but mastering your emotions makes you more productive and more fulfilled too.
In this episode, I explain why traditional psychotherapy often doesn’t work for men, and I reveal four ways masculine men can start to accept their emotions, undo their conditioning, and use therapy to help them accomplish their goals.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why many men are on the path that only leads to emptiness, regret, and extreme loneliness (and how to jump off this path) (1:24) The single biggest barrier to effective therapy for men (6:14) The “color of life” mindset shift that instantly makes you feel more okay with your emotions (7:43) How the feminine approach to therapy practiced by most therapists renders therapy useless (and how to experience a more masculine—and effective—approach) (8:09) All men who have resistance to their emotions needs to listen here: (13:39) This one question will start to undo your conditioning that emotions are obstacles to be avoided or solved (15:16) How a relentless drive to be productive and successful robs you of all the joys of life and turns you into an emotionless robot (19:25) 6 ways to get buy-in from your masculine protector parts that can make therapeutic effective (and an example of how one of my clients went through this process) (22:15)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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This week’s episode is a special episode, especially if you’re an achiever (like most of our listeners are). Leon, a long-time fan from South Africa, reached out for a one-time session that doubles as a podcast interview.
While your situation might not be exactly the same as Leon’s, if you’re an achiever or struggle with abandonment issues or neediness, there will likely be several themes that apply to both your life, as well.
I treated this interview like an initial consultation. Listening will give you insights into how you could accept your inner child parts that have been filling you with emotional turmoil (even if you don’t have the same exact problems as Leon does).
Best part?
Well, about a week after we recorded this interview, Leon reached out to give me an update. It blew my mind—and his initial progress will blow your mind too.
If you feel stuck, abandoned, needy, or just can’t get over your desire to achieve (because you’re unconsciously looking for love), this episode will help you get on the right path.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How being a “Parentified Child” forces you to take on your parent’s emotional struggles and become a needy adult (and how to break free from this restraint after growing up) (0:29) What to do when you feel lonely on your self-development journey and constantly ask yourself when your journey will actually end (8:52) How to start opening up and being more vulnerable when you feel like you’ll be ridiculed and judged when you do (13:01) Why resisting reality is the most painful thing you can do (and how your life starts to change subtly as soon as you accept reality) (23:04) How living in a single closet in a big city as a single man can present you with more exciting opportunities than having a lavish house in a small town (26:53) Do you constantly worry that you’re not meeting your potential? Here’s why it’s impossible to fulfill your potential (40:40) Why meeting your therapist in person is actually the worst way to leverage the therapeutic process for your self-growth (48:17) How to stop being ashamed by your neediness (and how to use it to find the relationship you want) (1:00:09) Why learning how to embrace sadness, anger, and fear is one of the best ways to embrace love (1:07:18)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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One problem that haunts every relationship, career, and life is falling into a victim mindset. When you blame others for your problems and fail to acknowledge your role, you remain stuck and helpless in this vicious cycle.
Worst part?
As your relationships start to crumble, you’ll likely experience a heightened sense of anxiety and depression. And if you don’t address this, your life becomes a series of missed opportunities, and unfulfilled dreams, leaving you with a sense of regret and dissatisfaction.
That’s the bad news.
The good news?
While it’s tough to break out of this cycle, it’s possible. And by taking full responsibility, like we discuss in today’s episode, you can improve your relationships, your mental health, and your life’s accomplishments.
It won’t be easy. Learning how to take full responsibility takes time and patience. But tuning into this episode is a good first step.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The ONLY way to break free from the stuck, powerless feeling in your relationship (0:34) How to transform from a helpless victim into an active creator of your life (1:00) Why blaming your partner for every argument you have hijacks your power to improve the relationship (and eventually leads to heartbreak) (2:17) The “author of your story” secret that liberates you and enhances your closest relationship (It can even save your marriage from the brink of divorce!) (2:55) The “4 Ultimate Concerns” created by a renowned psychotherapist that can help you steer your life in the direction you want (5:45) How to stop relying on your girlfriend or best friends to feel complete and whole (8:25) Do this the next time you feel lonely and wish you had a partner (it’s a more effective long-term strategy that eliminates your loneliness) (9:06) Why asking yourself this question while in a heated argument with your partner allows you to resolve conflicts faster and strengthen your bond (22:51)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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When was the last time you felt true joy and fulfillment in your life?
For many achievers, this is something that they never experience. Each achievement and accomplishment is followed by another pursuit, always keeping happiness just out of your reach.
The worst part?
This relentless pursuit of success makes finding lasting happiness and fulfillment impossible.
But it’s possible to break free from this toxic cycle. In fact, there are 5 simple ways to help you break free from this cycle that I reveal in this episode.
If you’re constantly feeling like something’s missing in your life no matter how much you achieve, listen to this episode now. Your future self will thank you.
Show Highlights Include:
How chasing achievements leaves you unhappy and unfulfilled (even if it boosts your self-esteem in the short term) (1:04) The “Deranged Tree” secret for ignoring societal standards that keep true happiness always out of reach (6:57) The cold, hard truth about why your successes feel hollow and isolating (12:16) Asking yourself this simple question can help you discover your ultimate purpose in life (15:46) The “Karma Yoga” method that forces you to become fully present in the moment (16:49) How to deeply understand what brings you true joy and fulfillment with this simple weekly exercise (18:00) Why reading books for pleasure is one of the quickest ways to shift out of an anxious state of being and into a calm one (20:54) The “dancing with the music” mindset shift that leads to healthier relationships, better mental health, and more joy in your day-to-day life (23:26)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Neediness plagues every relationship, and achievers tend to be more needy than other people.
Why?
Well, the achiever’s desire to achieve often stems from neediness itself. Achievers think they have to earn every bit of love and approval in their lives. And then the success you achieve from this mindset tricks you into believing that this is a good trait.
However, look closely into a successful achiever’s life, and you’ll see that no matter how much they achieved, there’s a deep void of loneliness in their lives. Look closely into their relationships, and they’re riddled with neediness.
But you know what?
Listening to this week’s episode is a good first step to help you take off the mask of achievement that leads to loneliness and neediness.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The insidious “Do More” trap achievers fall into to eliminate their neediness that only makes it surge (0:42) 3 survival strategies you tried as a kid and how they still dominate your behaviors today (4:05) How needing external validation poisons every relationship you have from the inside out (7:38) Why success serves as a mask for your deepest insecurities (and how to take the mask off) (9:38) A key questions achievers must ask themselves to stop feeding their neediness (14:33) Downloading this app is the first step towards eliminating your neediness (23:22) Will you lose your edge if you stop striving for success and achievements? (26:54)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Here’s a harsh truth for many men to understand, especially the pleasers and fixers:
It’s not your job as a man to continuously attract your woman or to make her happy. Instead, it's about understanding the elements that naturally cultivate attraction and happiness within a relationship.
But this approach to dating and attraction is a lot harder because it requires improving yourself at the deepest levels instead of putting on a façade.
But you know what?
Despite it being harder, it leads to a more fulfilling relationship. And yes, this includes sexual fulfillment too.
In today’s episode, I’m answering some tough questions like:
What are women actually attracted to?
What keeps women committed in a relationship, especially a long-term relationship where the initial spark has died?
And how do you not only attract a woman, but keep her?
And I reveal my 3H and 3P methods for helping you understand the complex dance of attraction and commitment that are the cornerstones of building a successful long-term relationship.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why the initial spark in your relationship dies when you don’t understand this… (0:56) How wondering how to attract your ideal woman is a sneaky way to display your neediness (and how to stop being needy) (3:59) The “CRW” secret for naturally attracting women without even trying (7:08) Are women sexually attracted to wealth? Here’s why they’re not (even if they say they are) (13:08) How meeting the emotional needs of your partner naturally sparks, and intensifies, your attraction to her (and the “P-word” that strengthens these emotional bonds) (18:09) Why downloading a meditation app on your phone can significantly enhance your attractiveness to women (20:06) How to both improve the sexual relationship with your partner while also strengthening the emotional bonds that glue the relationship together (28:57)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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One of the most common and deadly fears people have is the fear of failure. And this fear in particular has dire consequences:
It creates a life where every decision is clouded by the terror of making a mistake. Where opportunities are left unexplored because the risk of failure looms too large. A life shackled by the fear of failure leads to stagnation—professionally and personally. Even your relationships suffer because a fear of failure prevents you from being your true self. Living with this fear for too long means never truly knowing the full extent of your capabilities or the depths of who you are.
That’s the bad news.
The good news?
When you liberate yourself from the gripping fear of failure, you view every setback as a stepping stone to something greater. Your relationships improve because you show up as your true self. Your career takes off because you’re no longer shackled by this pervasive fear. And by embracing failure, you unlock a more adventurous, spontaneous, and fulfilling life.
It won’t be easy—it takes time and effort to address and overcome this deep-seated fear. But it’s possible.
In today’s episode, you’ll discover where the fear of failure comes from, and even more, how to use both modern and ancient wisdom to overcome it and live a more fulfilling life.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why attaching your value as a person to your success and failures is a recipe for fear and disappointment (4:54) The Buddhist monk’s secret for overcoming your fear of failure (7:38) How striving for happiness keeps it out of your reach (and how to find joy without searching for it) (8:24) 2 simple, yet wildly effective ways to find peace and fulfillment within yourself right now (even if you haven’t achieved everything you want) (10:37) 4 exercises to help you directly engage with different parts of yourself and understand why they manifest as fear and anxiety (14:34) The daily “Radical Self-Acceptance” practice that not only enhances your personal relationships, but also deepens your relationship with yourself (18:55) How to become more aware of your intrusive thoughts and transform them into positive ones in just 5 minutes each day (20:06) The dire consequences of living a life controlled by your fear of failure (and how it bleeds into every aspect of your life) (26:15) How embracing failure improves your relationships, boosts your attractiveness, and infuses your actions with a sense of purpose and freedom (27:17)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, I’ve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. I’m therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian’s step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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