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In this episode Ginger and Julie talk to Dafna Lender who is an international trainer, EMDR therapist, and supervisor for practitioners who work with children and families. She is a certified trainer and supervisor/consultant in Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy and Theraplay. Dafnaâs expertise is drawn from 25 years working with families with attachment issues in many settings. She is a leader in family therapy from an attachment perspective and is passionate about her work and regularly co-trains with Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine, Ed Tronick, and Dan Hughes. She is the author of Integrative Attachment Family Therapy and Theraplay: The Practitionerâs Guide.
https://www.dafnalender.com/
Listen in as Julie and Ginger talk with Dafna about therapeutic parenting, attachment, and more!
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Listen in as Julie and Ginger talk to Ginger Lewman about Bullying.
Ginger Lewman is a national consultant & keynote speaker with ESSDACK, a non-profit education service center based in Hutchinson Kansas. She holds a Master of Science in Psychology and Special Education and Gifted Education, With 30 years in education, she inspires and helps all levels of educators figure out the hard hurdles for innovative teaching and learning.
Why do people bully? There are many reasons but Ginger boils it down to the messages we hear as kids and feeling a lack of safety, dignity and/or belonging.
Ginger encourages us to get upstream and gives great strategies and tools and states that these and other tools are best utilized in an environment steeped daily in the foundation of the science of trauma and resilience-building and utilizing restorative practices whenever conflict arises anywhere.
âOnce we become unafraid of our own stories, we all become safer.â ~ Steve Halley
Resources:
www.stopbullying.gov
https://www.essdack.org/
Peaceful Schools and Families: https://www.essdack.org/psf
Favorite takeaways:
It is difficult work for someone who is hurt, for someone who has hurt other people to move toward conflict. Theyâve got to listen to them and they can only do that if I feel safe.
When weâre talking about bringing people into circle toward conflict this is an opportunity for each person to examine what their role has been. Itâs not just âyou did itâ, itâs âwe are experiencing this and this is not good for any of us in our community, this isnât about you just cleaning up what you did wrongâ. Itâs all of us.
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In Episode 82, Ginger & Julie dig into Oxytocin. Oxytocin is often called the âloveâ or âcuddleâ hormone.
High levels of oxytocin correlate with the speed of wound healing. Research is documenting the positive effects of oxytocin in treating many conditions including heart disease, schizophrenia, diabetes, and certain kinds of cancer.
For children who have experienced early adversities with attachment disorders and trauma-based impacts, increasing their oxytocin levels holds the promise of helping them emotionally, socially, relationally, and physically.
Besides physical touch and affection other things that increase oxytocin:
Exercise Healthy Diet Vitamin D MusicThe following additional resources were mentioned
Dr. Stephen Porges https://www.stephenporges.com/
Amelia and Emily Nagoski https://www.burnoutbook.net/about-the-authors
Dr. Louis Cozolino https://www.drloucozolino.com/
Drs. Dan Hughes and Jon Baylin -Brain-Based Parenting book- https://a.co/d/gUWRjQF
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In this episode Julie and Ginger interview ATNâs dear friend, Dr. Melissa Sadin. Melissa teaches us about Hope Theory based on the work of Gwinn and Hellman and their book Hope Rising. You can check out Dr. Sadinâs books and work here: http://www.traumasensitive.com/, https://a.co/d/9x4lPtk.
What is the definition of hope? Hope is setting a goal that you desire, creating a pathway toward the goal, and utilizing the willpower necessary to achieve the goal through connection to another person.
Dr. Sadin further states that Hope Builds Resilience and Resilience Builds Hope. She tells us that through the following three-step process we can build hope and resilience in our children at home and students at school:
1. Set an achievable goal
2. Set the pathway -the WAYPOWER
3. Get a cheerleader- the WILLPOWER, who will help revise and check-in
Melissa teaches us that:
- Hope builds executive functioning capacity
- Students with high hope have better attendance than students with low hope
- Students with high hope have better academic outcomes than students with low hope- despite cognitive ability
- Students with hope are more likely to find success in career or college sooner than students with low hope
Listen in and join us in building hope!
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In this Episode Julie and Ginger teach about the PolyVagal Theory and introduce us to Our PolyVagal World a new book by Dr. Stephen Porges and his son Seth Porges.
Link to the book: https://www.amazon.com/Our-Polyvagal-World-Safety-Trauma/dp/1324030259
How safe we feel is crucial to our physical and mental health and happiness.
When we feel safe our nervous system and entire body undergo a massive physiological shift that primes us to be healthier, happier, and smarter, to be better learners and problem solvers: to have more fun; to heal fast, and generally to feel more alive. It is in this safe state that we can learn.
When we feel safe we feel a sense of connection to ourselves and others. We are born wired to connect but when trauma enters the picture it rewires us and we feel disconnected from people, society, and our own bodies. The impact of trauma stretches through our brain and nervous system through every part of our body changing our physical and mental health.
Link to the video on our Autonomic Nervous System and how we are impacted by trauma:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdIQRxwT1I0&t=15s
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In this Episode Julie and Ginger talk to Dr. Rick Cain. Rick specializes in the neuroscience of stress and well-being. He helps us explore how wellness practices in the biological domain of self-regulation, such as healthy eating, restorative sleep, and regular exercise, aid in our ability to regulate our nervous system and are pivotal for optimizing cognitive function, forming habits, and managing emotions.
Rick teaches us about the concept of the "body budget," as coined by Lisa Feldman Barrett, PhD -https://lisafeldmanbarrett.com - and he ends with talking about how we can use mindfulness to help us avoid functioning on autopilot.
Autopilot is a state of mind in which one acts without conscious intention or awareness of present-moment sensory perception. It's common for us to go through our days on autopilot, just trying to get through them. It's a normal part of the human experience, and it's okay sometimes to lose track of the present moment.
It's important to recognize that when we're constantly on autopilot, we risk missing out on the small moments that make up our lives. The choice between operating on autopilot and cultivating a state of awareness is within our control.
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In todayâs episode, Ginger and Julie talk to Dr. Amy Fast. Dr. Amy is currently a superintendent in Oregon. She is an author, and education commentator, former HS principal and elementary school teacherâŠand she is a mom! Her book, Itâs the Mission, Not the Mandates can found at https://a.co/d/4ZtW5Kg .
Listen in for these great takeaways:
âWhere I find kids thrive and are the most well, is when there is the magic balance of being pushed hard and loved hard. You can't have one without the other because if you have the love without that developmental push, that just right push, so that they are just enough outside their comfort zone where they're growing but not falling off the edge of the cliff then kids do become entitled or enabled, but if you have the opposite where you are always pushing them with no support, or love or affection then you have kids with suicidal ideation or poor self-concept.â
âThe work doesn't feel good when it's easy, it feels good when it matters and that's part of why so many educators are suffering. There is a lack of congruence between what we are asking and mandating and telling them to do and what they know in their guts actually matter for kids.â
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In todayâs episode, Ginger and Julie dive into Step-Parenting.
Approximately 40% of all families are blended families, which are defined as divorced and/or remarried families or those living together that have children residing with one parent and possibly visiting the other, and have another adult in their lives who is the stepparent figure.
Divorce is widespread, (hovering around half of all marriages.) For children, divorce is considered a traumatizing event and being raised by stepparents can be a landmine of potential trauma.
That doesnât mean we at ATN are against divorce or that we blame the adults for their decision to separate. We want parents to understand how divorce can potentially impact your children â for the rest of their lives. And how best to help them come out of it in a positive way.
Here are some takeaways.
Listen to your children. Give them a safe space to express themselves.
Discuss and decide as a couple how youâre going to handle family dynamics and what you want for your family.
Whenever possible, try to be on the same parenting page. Take co-parenting seriously.
Professional help will be needed as you blend your family, Interventions can help these struggles from becoming complex traumas and resources and support are available through ATN.
If you want more information about our Trauma-Informed Certification program, go to certification.attachtrauma.org.
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Co-Regulation: Stepping in with soothing, responsive interactions to help a person be able to regulate their emotions. OR Borrowing the ability to attain a regulated state from another person who is emotionally regulated and responsive to our need for assistance.
First â you need to regulate yourself.
Be aware of own triggers Find /create your own system of support Find activities, interests to help you regulate (music, movies, hobbies, exercise) Find what grounds and anchors you, a source of strength, comfort, and clarity of purpose like personal faith, nature, meditationsSecond - let them borrow some of your regulation.
Be (and remain) present Reflect back calm and responsiveness Hold spaceThe final step of regulation is to actively teach children how to regulate themselves, giving them tools to use.
Mindfulness Name It to Tame It Creative Expressions of Emotions Movement & Rhythm Breathing Sensory Engagement Hunger or Thirst Grounding Techniques PlayResources:
Mona Delahooke https://monadelahooke.com/
Deb Dana https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/
The Whole Brain Child- Dr. Siegel and Dr. Bryson
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In this episode, Julie and Ginger share the Five Neurodivergent Love Languages from @neurowonderful.
Info dumping. Sharing information about topics that excite you and that you have an interest or passion in and sharing them in detail and length.
Body Doubling/Parallel Play/Sharing Space. When people do separate activities with each other, they are not trying to influence each other's behavior.
Seeking Support/Support Swapping. Helping each other look out for themselves in small ways.
Deep Pressure. Finding a way to be grounded physically through pressure and weight
can alleviate stress.
Penguin pebbling/gift giving. This is when an ND person shows another person affection by offering them little objects, like trinkets or even memes.
Listen in as Julie and Ginger discuss that the Five Neurodivergent Love Languages are a Tool for EVERYONE!
Share these with the children in your care to open dialogue about how we see and value each other and how we can better connect and understand each other. It can be a very effective way to increase communication and inclusivity.
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In this Episode Julie and Ginger seek to increase awareness and acceptance of the strengths that neurodivergent children have.
Neurodiversity means valuing all types of thinking and learning equally, without considering any as superior. It focuses on equitable inclusion by accepting diverse ways of engaging with the world, rejecting the ideas that difference from the norm are problems to be fixed. ATN aligns with the belief that societal and physical barriers create disabling environments, and that impairments result from these barriers rather than from focusing on what is wrong with the person.
âNeurodivergentâ describes someone whose brain works differently. A neurodivergent person often has different ways of thinking or processing the world around them than someone whoâs âneurotypicalâ or who has whatâs seen as a more standard experience.
Neurodivergent people arenât any less capable than their peers, and in fact tend to excel in more particular or specialized areas. But often our school and social structures arenât built to accommodate ND individuals, which makes life more difficult for them.
Neurodivergent students LEARN DIFFERENTLY. Dr. Mona Delahooke teaches that we should take âdifferencesâ off a diagnostic checklist and see these differences as adaptations in the way the student processes information in the classroom.
So what should educators be doing? Experts who work with neurodiverse students suggest Using Trauma-Informed strategies in the classroom and regulation-driven teaching models.
They also highlight the importance of adapting systems and environments to support success by honoring all forms of communication as valid
Resources noted in the episode
https://www.templegrandin.com/
https://www.axismunditherapy.com/
https://www.kelly-mahler.com/
https://monadelahooke.com/
Listen in and Julie and Ginger share their vulnerable stories of parenting and educating their neurodivergent children in hopes of helping others walking in their shoes.
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In this Episode, Julie interviews Joe Brummer and Marg Thorsborne about their new book, Becoming a Trauma-Informed Restorative Educator.
Both Joe and Marg have years of experience and are experts in the field of restorative justice.
Marg talks about how we can move away from punishment and the harm of behaviorism, and encourages us to look at how to build lagging skills and view behaviors through a lens of canât vs wonât. She says that punishment doesnât have the capacity to teach a skill that is missing.
Joe tells us that restorative justice is a community-building program vs. discipline program and goes on to say that RJ is any practice that builds, maintains, and repairs relationships. Itâs going upstream and creating a school climate that doesnât create negative behaviors - when we focus on relationships and see the value of every student because they arenât disposable.
Itâs a way of being that says to the student, âWe will love you, we will help you clean up your mess, and repair your mistakesâ. Accountability is there. There are consequences, And it requires system change because the system helps them make the change. Itâs a paradigm shift.
Marg reminds us that we are wired to be connected and redemption is important for our healing.
Listen in as Julie interviews Marg and Joe and dives into the why behind their new book that will lead to a systems change starting with the creation of restorative educators.
Pre-order this book now - released June 21, 2024:
Jessica Kingsley Publishing
Amazon
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In this episode, Julie and Ginger welcome Ingrid Cockhren into the studio to discuss parenting in todayâs societyâŠor, as Dr. Gabor Mate calls it, Horticulture on the Moon.
Dr. Gabor Mate, a renowned expert, brings a unique perspective to the table. He points out that Western society has taught us to ignore our parenting instincts. He cites indigenous parenting practices as examples, which were more likely to meet the infantâs needs while supporting the mother and family with the community. We echo his sentiments. Our current culture often makes raising children a challenging task, akin to cultivating plants on the moon.
Ingrid Cockhren, M.Ed., is a seasoned professional with a career spanning two decades. Her expertise in stress, trauma, and human development has allowed her to transform her research and knowledge into trauma-informed and healing-centered solutions for communities, workplaces, and organizations. Her diverse roles in juvenile justice, family counseling, early childhood education, professional development and training, and community education further underline her comprehensive understanding of the subject.
Ingrid states, âAs long as we continue to focus on individual wants and desires and not the collective public good, then we will continue to have struggles, and our society pushes for those individual wants and desires. We are mainly driven by consumerism and capitalism and the pursuit of individual liberty and happiness. These are our founding principles, but what is required when we have children is the village, the collective. This is in opposition to the values that go along with our society. As long as we continue down this path of putting the individual's wants and desires ahead of the collective good then we will continue to have environments that are not conducive to parenting."
You can find more from Ingrid here
https://cockhrenconsulting.com/
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In his book, The Myth of Normal, Dr. Gabor Mate points out that all children have 4 irreducible needs:
a sense of security trust in the world interrelationships with others connection to your authentic emotionsâŠAnd the way that they get these needs met is the availability of an attuned, non-stressed and emotionally reliable caregiver. The more stressed or distracted the caregiver, then the shakier the emotional architecture of the childâs mind will be.
And thatâs the crux of it allâŠhow do we set up parents and families to be able to be those attuned, non-stressed and emotionally available caregivers?
Julie and Ginger want to share this message from Dr. Mate and talk about how it aligns with so much of what ATN believes about Attachment being the Antidote, but also about how we have to advocate for what families need in todayâs society.
We highly recommend The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate, MD and Daniel Mate
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In this episode, Julie and Ginger talk with Rabbi Heather Altman about Attachment, Yoga, and Somatic Experiencing. She is a trauma specialist and a parent coach. She specializes in disruptive behavior in families. Her goal is to help her clients experience more comfort, more calm, and more compassion in their lives. She helps families develop deeper connections between the parents and children. Isnât that what we all want.
AND ⊠she is mother of triplets!!!!
Heather says that âWe need to find some level of OKness. Pleasure and joy are a goal, but OKness is actually OK.â
Listen in to learn more about somatic experiencing. Find out what it is and how Heather combines that with yoga.
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In this episode Julie and Ginger talk about the 3Es of trauma. SAMHSA, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration of the US government, coined the term âthe 3Esâ and this has become core to the definition of trauma. The 3Es is a very basic concept but, while it is very basic, it isnât simple. To determine if something is traumatizing, we canât judge based on whether we think the event should be traumatizing. It is very individualized.
SAMHSA says, âIndividual trauma results from an event, series of events or set of circumstances, that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or life-threatening, and that has a lasting adverse effect on the individualâs functioning and mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual wellbeing.â
The 3Es are: Event, Experience, and Effect.
Events happen and that doesnât mean it is traumatizing. Not everyone present at the event is traumatized. It depends on how you experience the event and how it affects your life. It is truly individualized.
Listen in as Julie and Ginger talk about what makes an event more likely to be traumatizing and how this can be mitigated.
Remember â Your trauma is not my trauma! And, no one gets to pick their trauma. It is truly the nervous systemâs response.
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In this episode, Julie and Ginger invite Robyn Gobbel into the studio. Robyn loves cultivating deep, resonant connections with anyone who is up for it, and especially loves teaching anyone who will listen how to harness the power of neuroscience so they can cultivate deep, resonant connections, too. Robyn says, âReally, what would change in the world if we could all see, be with, feel, and deeply know each otherâŠand ourselves. I think everything would change!â
Before the COVID-19 pandemic, Robyn was a therapist for almost 20 years, specializing in complex trauma, attachment, and adoption. Now, she creates communities and educational experiences grounded in regulation, connection, and felt safety for parents and professionals all over the world. Robyn is an author, podcast host and parenting coach.
Robynâs approach is based in neuroscience. She takes that complex topic and brings it to a level where parents can grasp it. Once we understand neuroscience, we can really begin to trust our intuitions. Neuroscience helps us stop applying band aids to behaviors. Instead, we can comprehend what is going on underneath the behaviors. This changes our approach.
Listen in as Robyn talks about specific behaviors, such as lying. That a big one! She breaks down the difference between normal lying and abnormal lying. And then she talks about what is really going on beneath the lying. She says that it all boils down to felt safety, connectedness and regulation.
For more information about Robyn, go to her website at RobynGobbel.com. There you can find a lot of free resources. To order her book, Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors, go to ATNâs Bookshop at https://bookshop.org/p/books/raising-kids-with-big-baffling-behaviors-brain-body-sensory-strategies-that-really-work-robyn-gobbel/19679331?aid=22880&ean=9781839974281&listref=resources-for-parents-912ec909-948a-4642-aa54-957538d26cb8.
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In this episode, Julie and Ginger invite Yvonne Johnson into the studio. Yvonne is the 58th president of the National PTA. She is committed to being intentional about creating more inclusion and diversity in schools, and she focuses on strengthening family and school partnerships. Yvonne has been involved in the PTA for over 30 years!
The PTAâs mission is âMaking sure that every child reaches their full potential by engaging and empowering families and communities to advocate for all children.â Yvonne says that she serves as the voice for families around all education issues.
Listen in to learn what led Yvonne to be so passionate about trauma-informed education and learn more about the PTAâs current initiatives. These initiatives include federal, state, and local policies that keep our students healthy, supported and safe. A safe school is a priority for the National PTA.
ATN is so honored to be mission aligned with the National PTA.
If you want to learn more about the initiatives that were mentioned, go to:
https://www.pta.org/home/advocacy/ptas-positions/Individual-Position-Statements/Position-Statement-Trauma-Informed-Care
https://www.pta.org/home/events/National-PTA-Legislative-Conference
https://www.congress.gov/bill/118th-congress/senate-bill/1426?q=%7B%22search%22%3A%22The+RISE+Act%22%7D&s=1&r=3
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In this episode, Julie and Ginger invite Jen Alexander and Jennifer Dickey into the studio. They have come to talk about executive function skills and working memory. You may recognize Jen Alexander, as she has been in the studio several times. She is an educator, national certified counselor, school based registered play therapist and a leader in the movement to build trauma-sensitive schools. Jen is the author of Building Trauma-Sensitive Schools: Your Guide to Creating Safe, Supportive Learning Environments for All Students.
Jennifer Dickeyâs passion is in designing academic and effective support for divergent learners. She is the founder of Lotus Cognitive Solutions Groups, which provides coaching for children and adults with ADHD and Dyslexia. She is a classroom teacher, a gifted and talented specialist, an academic language specialist, and a full-time college professor.
Together, they have developed a new guide to help educators, entitled Supporting Studentsâ Executive Function Skill in the Trauma-Sensitive Classroom: Focusing in on working memory. The guide has 8 colorful panels with practical advice broken into bite sized chunks. It explains how to recognize working memories challenges and how to shift your paradigm from âWhy arenât you doing your work?â to âWhat is difficult about this work?â
Listen in to learn exactly what working memory is and why it is critical to school success.
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Today, Julie and Ginger invite Dr. Susan Hopkins into the studio. Dr. Hopkins, along with Dr. Stuart Shanker, will be keynoting at ATNâs 7th Annual Creating Trauma-Sensitive Schools Conference in February 2024. Dr. Shaker is the MEHRIT Centre and Self-Reg Founder, and Dr. Hopkins is the Executive Director of the Self-Reg organization. Together they have authored several books. They are a powerful team! To learn more, go to www.self-reg.ca.
Dr. Hopkins has over 20 years of experience in all levels of education, including roles as teacher, vice-principal, curriculum developer, and inclusion coordinator. Oh, and she is a mom. All of this experience has made her well-equipped to show us the need to be self-regulated.
In this episode, Dr. Hopkins tells us exactly what Self-Reg is about, and she explains how it is anchored in understanding the brain-body science of stress. We all understand the meaning of self-regulation, but the Self-Reg Framework consists of 5 steps to deal with stress so that we can experience calm in our minds and bodies. At the MEHRIT Centre, people who care for and work with children and youth are taught the skills needed to better support dysregulated kids.
Listen in as Dr. Hopkins reviews the five steps of this framework and gives examples of how to implement each one. You donât want to miss this! And, you donât want to miss hearing Drs. Shanker and Hopkins speak at our upcoming conference. For more information, go to www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org/conference.
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