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So many parents and teenagers fall into the traps independent college counselors set to sell their business as a foolproof way to get into good colleges. Today on Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are here to discuss why that simply isn’t possible! There are no guarantees when it comes to college applications and focusing on what you think colleges may want instead of placing emphasis on the individual and what is best for them is hugely problematic. In this conversation, you’ll hear all about what irritates us about independent college counselors, what is missing in the college admission profession, and how we do things differently. We break down some of the problematic messaging these companies use before reminding listeners that families and teenagers have a choice when it comes to how they handle the college admissions process. We also discuss why candidacy building and having an application persona is simply marketing. Finally, we stress the importance of values and authenticity when helping adolescents develop into their adult selves. Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to hear more!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:25] Our irritation with companies taking advantage of the college admissions process. [0:04:20] The dangers of ignoring the individual and focusing on what colleges want alone. [0:08:12] What is missing in the college admission profession and why it’s problematic. [0:10:34] A breakdown of some of the problematic college admission messaging. [0:10:42] The benefits of competitive environments, even if you do not win. [0:13:14] How to make room for time-consuming sports that you love and other activities. [0:18:48] Why we shouldn’t expect teenagers to do meaningful research. [0:21:34] A reminder that families have a choice in how they approach this process. [0:26:00] Why candidacy building and creating an application persona is just marketing. [0:26:42] Dangers of approaching college applications like this and the importance of values.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
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The college application process can be brutal and anxiety-provoking for parents, teenagers, and, in particular, college counselors! In this episode, we reflect on our experiences at the end of this season and even share some advice for parents approaching applications with their teens. In this conversation, you’ll hear all about why college counselors hate November 1st, the debilitating anxiety that teens may face during this time, the different ways they deal with it, and the importance of reading, writing, and communication skills. We even share some advice for parents who are planning for their juniors to apply, why so many kids only start preparing after summer, the importance of being realistic about your kids’ skills and encouraging them to form their own beliefs, and so much more! We go on to talk about what makes for a successful application process, what students who are meeting the deadline and doing well are doing right, the importance of being positive throughout, and when to hold back on feedback as a parent. Finally, we caution parents against hiring multiple college counselors and encourage them to empower their kids to make decisions for themselves and celebrate every single application they send. Thanks for listening in!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] Why November 1st is so frustrating for college counselors. [0:03:57] Today’s topic: some reflections on this application process. [0:04:14] The extreme anxiety teens are feeling and how they cope with it. [0:06:08] Some advice for parents of juniors about planning for applications. [0:16:31] The potential dangers of letting applicants prepare during the summer. [0:19:35] Why getting your child ready for application writing is the parent’s job. [0:21:05] The importance of encouraging kids to read the news and form opinions. [0:22:40] What kids who are successful in meeting the November 1 deadline are doing. [0:27:18] Why kids who have had to manage a busy schedule do well in their applications. [0:31:49] When giving feedback on these applications to your teen is and isn’t helpful.[0:35:25] Why we don’t recommend hiring multiple college counselors. [0:37:25] Encouraging parents to create an environment that is conducive to working.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
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When it comes to drinking, partying, and substance abuse, there’s a lot of stuff your teenager won’t tell you – but we will! Today, we get into all the challenges that come with teenagers and partying, what to expect as a parent, and how to start discussing these things with your kid before it’s an issue. We break down the types of limitations and rules to put in place while also making sure they feel comfortable calling you if they need help. With drinking at home, we talk about how to model healthy behavior for your kids before discussing supervised drinking, including when you should do it, and when you absolutely should not. Our conversation also gets into the transition to high school, why your kids might suddenly be much more interested in parties, and how to assess when you should allow them to go. Additionally, we cover what to do if you get a call that your kid is wasted, when to have a conversation with them, and what the consequences should be. Tune in to hear the full conversation on teenagers, partying, and how to safely navigate this tricky subject!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:33] What we’ll be talking about today regarding teen parties.[0:02:08] How we would approach rules and limits with teen parties and drinking.[0:04:31] Modeling healthy drinking behavior for your kids.[0:06:36] Cultural considerations to take into account with alcohol.[0:07:00] Different definitions of supervised drinking, and which ones to avoid.[0:11:48] The problem of binge drinking and how to address it.[0:13:30] Easy ways to discuss substances with your kids before it’s an issue.[0:15:16] Partying expectations kids face after the transition to high school.[0:16:54] When to start letting your kids go to parties.[0:18:34] Encouraging kids to take care of each other.[0:20:07] What to do if you get a call that your kid is wasted.[0:20:55] How to discuss it with them afterwards.[0:22:20] Next steps: contacting parents, and when to call the school.[0:24:33] Making sure your kids know not to party at a school event.[0:27:08] Having a conversation about edibles and fentanyl.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
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Bullying is annoying and damaging, leaving a trail of suffering in its wake; and we hate that. Today, we unwrap bullying from head to toe to bring you helpful information on navigating this complicated situation (and to help you understand just how difficult it is!). We begin with our definition of bullying, how it’s been normalized throughout American culture, troubling statistics that reveal how rampant it truly is, and why we believe that bullying is inherently bad. We explore the importance of having empathy for both bullies and the bullied, how parents and other adults should react when they witness a child being bullied, how parents should support their children after a bullying event, and why we should almost always believe our kids when they say they are being bullied. We end with a reminder to be loving, caring, and understanding when dealing with bullies or kids who have been bullied, and we explore what to do when an adult is the perpetrator.
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:06] Why we absolutely loathe bullying.[0:02:55] Defining bullying, and exploring the rampant bullying culture at play in America. [0:06:17] How bullying has been normalized in schools from the very first initiation (hazing). [0:11:34] Troubling statistics and examples about bullying among the American youth. [0:14:30] Why bullying is inherently bad, and common traits found in most bullies. [0:20:04] The importance of having empathy for both the bully and the bullied.[0:21:51] What to do as an adult when you see bullying happening in front of you.[0:25:21] How parents react to having a bullying kid versus seeing their child get bullied.[0:27:00] Why most kids don’t lie about bullying, and exploring why they would.[0:29:00] More advice for parents on how to deal with bullying and how to support their child.[0:37:13] A reminder that bullies also need love and understanding.[0:39:34] Final words of wisdom toward our dream of eradicating bullying.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
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Today, we’re talking about modeling, and we don’t mean striking poses on the catwalk! Whether we intend to or not, we all end up looking to our parents as role models. In this episode, we explore the vital role of parent modeling in helping teens develop essential life skills. From effective communication and stress management to embracing new challenges, demonstrating the value of hard work, showcasing healthy relationships, and more, we reveal how you can lead by example rather than nagging or seeking to control your teens’ behavior. Get ready for a fun and insightful conversation full of practical tips to empower you to be the role model your teens need as they navigate these formative (and occasionally maddening) years!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:00] Introducing the theme of today’s episode: parent modeling.[0:02:57] Reasons that modeling behavior can be surprisingly challenging.[0:04:58] How we all look to our parents as role models, whether we intend to or not![0:06:25] What it might look like to take inventory of your own behavior.[0:08:08] The value of cultivating self-awareness and practicing self-compassion.[0:14:33] A handy list of important behaviors to model for your teens.[0:17:43] Ways that modeling can also be what you don’t do.[0:21:23] Modeling interpersonal skills by showcasing healthy relationships.[0:25:25] The benefits of mental health support for both parents and kids.[0:29:10] How your mistakes can be just as meaningful as your successes.[0:31:23] Why we’re on a mission to become famous (and how you can help)!Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
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Amid the pile of college applications, seniors are often encouraged to attend rep visits—but what exactly is a rep visit, and why should your child take full advantage of it? In this week’s episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, Cathy and Meredith explore how you and your teen can maximize the benefits of college rep visits at their school. They break down why these visits are important, and what to do (and what to avoid) while attending, and Cathy shares one of the most commonly missed opportunities during rep visits. You’ll also hear about the types of questions students should ask, which ones to skip, and what demonstrated interest is, and how it can sometimes play a role in the admissions process. If your child hasn’t mentioned anything about rep visits at school, be sure to check in with them or reach out to the school for more information. Tune in now for all this, and more!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:03:00] A timely, yet practical, issue that is today’s focus.[0:03:25] What we mean by “rep visits”.[0:04:00] Why it’s a good idea for students to attend these sessions.[0:05:10] We explain what these sessions encompass (from first-hand experience)![0:07:40] What to do when you show up to your scheduled rep visit.[0:08:45] What not to do at these rep visits.[0:09:23] The main purpose of the rep’s job.[0:10:20] A major missed opportunity Cathy has seen in these visits.[0:11:00] Our thoughts on the types and range of questions you can ask.[0:12:50] Why a little bit of prep in advance is not a bad idea.[0:13:10] What questions you should and shouldn’t ask.[0:15:30] Showing up to visits in respectful ways.[0:17:20] Why email communication is encouraged (for the right reasons).[0:20:00] Life as a rep and what makes it just that little bit better.[0:22:10] Why it’s not the end of the world if your child can’t make the rep visit.[0:23:18] We talk about demonstrated interest and how reps play a role.[0:24:13] How demonstrating interests varies but often involves attending formal programs that the school puts on.[0:24:46] What demonstrating interest can look like.[0:26:00] The types of schools that look at demonstrated interest.[0:26:40] Taking note of how reps respond to savvy questions.[0:27:15] Checking in with your child about school visits and doing some research on them.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
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Parenting is incredibly difficult and stressful as it is, but when you add the college admissions process, that stress multiplies! So how can we help you find the best way to help your child through this process? Today on the show, we are discussing the role of parents in the college admissions process. Tuning in, you’ll hear about the danger of controlling your kids and trying to get too involved in this experience, why parents often have a dated outlook on colleges, and the importance of reminding your child that you will be proud of them regardless of the college they go to because their success and worthiness is not defined by the college they go to. We delve into how you can support your child through this process before discussing how parents can manage their anxiety to protect their children from potential damage. Hear about how your approach to this process can make or break the experience for your child, be reminded to meet your kid where they are and bring humility into this process by accepting that there are people who know what they’re talking about and can help your child. Finally, we urge you to recognize the impact you will have on this process for your child. The children who have the most positive experiences can largely attribute that to the role their parents take on in this process. Thank you for listening to another episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:02:05] Why we decided to speak about the role of parents in college admissions.[0:04:04] Why trying to control your teenagers through this process only increases stress. [0:11:52] Being really careful about your level of involvement in this process as a parent.[0:18:07] The importance of telling your child that you’ll be so proud of the college they go to. [0:21:13] Some ways to support your teenager during this potentially difficult process.[0:26:21] Trying to maintain perspective and find healthy ways to manage your anxiety. [0:27:52] The danger of expecting a certain level of maturation from your teenagers. [0:33:32] Why parents need to bring humility into the college admissions process. [0:35:22] How you can affect your child’s college admission process positively or negatively.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
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When we come in hot, fully activated to defend and advocate for our children, we may end up causing more harm than good. Sometimes, as parents, it’s essential to check our tone, take a breath, and approach situations with curiosity. Think of it as a partnership. Join Cathy and Meredith on this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You as they dive into a discussion about when it is and isn’t, appropriate for parents to step in and how to handle school drama without the 'Mama (or Papa) Bear Meltdown!' They explore different examples, discussing how a parent’s tone can completely change the entire experience and why, when necessary, you shouldn’t be deterred by red tape when advocating for your child’s needs. They also highlight key aspects of a well-received intervention, what to consider when making requests, and why it’s crucial to think about what you say, how you say it, and to whom you’re saying it. Be sure to tune in for all this and much more!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:00] A timely discussion as the school year kicks off.[0:02:30] Subscribe and share our podcast![0:03:20] When is it, and isn’t, appropriate for parents to step in at school.[0:04:45] Some situations where parents shouldn’t be playing any role.[0:07:00] An example of when it could be appropriate for parents to step in.[0:08:35] The importance of your tone when stepping in.[0:09:15] We look at other examples of when stepping in would be appropriate.[0:13:10] Don’t be deterred by red tape when advocacy for your child is needed.[0:15:30] Any time you are concerned about your child’s safety.[0:15:45] What gets parents in trouble when reaching out to schools.[0:16:30] We delve into the best approach for stepping in.[0:19:45] An important aspect to remember when reaching out with requests.[0:22:00] Try to approach things with curiosity, and not as an activated parent-warrior.[0:25:40] How the college process can also bring forth bad parenting intervention.[0:28:50] Providing critical information and context about your child’s health.[0:33:55] We share the only time when parents reach out is bothersome.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episodes
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Today’s episode is about perseverance, resilience, and letting go of the things we can’t control. Earlier this year, Cathy received news that the lump she found on her body was indeed malignant, but the most important thing is everything she did after receiving the news. In today’s conversation, we learn about Cathy’s diagnosis and how she processed this revelation before exploring how Meredith came to terms with the news. We discover why and how Cathy’s plight fits perfectly with the themes of this podcast, how she’s maintained an optimistic outlook throughout her journey, how you can build a similar mindset of positivity, the keys to harnessing resilience, and the value of community in helping you overcome life’s struggles. To end, we unpack the dangers of toxic positivity, and Cathy shares her final words of gratitude – yes, you heard right, gratitude!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:55] Cathy lets us in on her recent cancer diagnosis.[0:03:33] Meredith’s first experience of seeing Cathy receive treatment.[0:05:38] Why Cathy’s struggle complements the themes of this podcast.[0:07:13] How she’s managed to maintain a positive mindset since discovery.[0:12:26] The best practices for cultivating and maintaining optimism.[0:18:31] Why Cathy continued to work even while in treatment – building resilience.[0:21:43] A reminder of the undeniable power of community in navigating life’s storms.[0:26:00] How to manage your worrying habits, and a side note on toxic positivity.[0:30:17] Cathy’s final words of gratitude – yes, gratitude.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
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It’s mid-August, and college application deadlines are fast approaching. So, get ready for more 'college stuff' as we dive into how to write kick-ass supplemental essays that will make you stand out to admissions! In today’s world, most schools require at least two to three different supplements with their application, and highly selective schools often ask for even more. Join Cathy and Meredith as they share their insights on all things college supplements, including why colleges ask for them and why you need to take them seriously. They’ll explore different themes and templates, discuss how supplements can reveal what a college truly values, and guide listeners through a few key essay questions. Be sure to tune in for all this and more! And remember, make sure your kids don’t phone it in because admissions officers can tell!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:00] College applications are due any minute, have you turned on the Common App?[0:01:30] What today’s episode is all about.[0:02:15] Our views on supplements: the feelings and thoughts behind them.[0:07:28] Using supplements to discourage applications. [0:08:00] Why colleges are asking for supplements and why they have to be taken seriously.[0:09:25] Why you need to have a nice, small, tight list of potential colleges.[0:10:35] A quick look at the book Lifting the Veil of Enrollment Management.[0:11:44] The themes often seen in the template of college supplement requests.[0:13:28] How supplements can reveal what a college cares about (do your research!)[0:15:25] Biggest mistakes we’ve seen in the college essay-prompt format.[0:16:30] The importance of belonging to a community.[0:19:00] We talk about a certain trend and “haze of skepticism” around adolescents that doesn’t seem to play well in a community.[0:21:40] An asterisk for those who don’t know what they want to major in.[0:23:00] Identity and the challenges with this essay.[0:26:30] Love yourself for who you are and show up as your authentic self.[0:27:30] The hard parts of the social issue essay.[0:28:30] A great place for parents to model and open up conversations.[0:31:20] Why Meredith doesn’t necessarily like the social question.[0:32:20] The adolescents of today versus those in the past.[0:34:00] The roommate letter.[0:35:15] The boom in popularity for the one-liners.[0:38:00] What not to do in the favorite quote section.[0:39:11] The net takeaways from our thoughts on college supplements.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Common App
Lifting the Veil on Enrollment Management: How a Powerful Industry is Limiting Social Mobility in American Higher Education
The Daily Pnut
Dear Kitten
Village Coaches Free Webinars
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As children grow and transition from middle school to high school, their world inevitably becomes bigger and more complex. And rightly so! Welcome back to another episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You. Today, we're turning our attention to the ‘littles’, our middle schoolers! Join us as we explore how to best prepare your middle schooler for the journey to high school. We dive into how to best prepare your middle schooler for the journey to high school by exploring two of the biggest transitions: academic and social. We also discuss some of the most common issues freshmen struggle with, the evolving role of parents, and how boundaries begin to shift, along with why it's crucial to create a safe space for your kids to have those confusing conversations with you. Don’t miss out as we cover all this and much more about getting your littles ready for high school. Thanks for listening!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] What listeners can expect from today’s episode.[0:01:30] Common topics in the transition from middle school to high school.[0:03:00] The most noticeable differences to expect from middle school to high school.[0:06:00] How the social dynamic also changes.[0:07:45] The culture shift for students who change schools (to a new high school).[0:08:30] We discuss some of the things freshmen often struggle with.[0:09:30] The lack of high school coaching on how students should learn.[0:10:45] Why students need to build and adjust good study habits.[0:11:30] How students can become proficient in advocating for themselves.[0:12:45] The parent role and how they can help their kids with these transitions.[0:15:00] The importance of teaching kids how to reflect.[0:16:16] Normalizing asking for help.[0:16:40] The freshmen social concern.[0:20:20] We talk about the shift in grades freshmen often encounter.[0:21:40] How the boundaries of what is appropriate for a parent start to shift.[0:25:55] Going over the school’s handbook with your child and other school policies.[0:27:10] Attending the parent orientation sessions.[0:27:50] Getting familiar with the content in content your children will be exposed to.[0:30:55] Let’s talk about parties! (And what exactly the word “party” means)[0:31:50] Boundaries, parents. Adjust them to be appropriate for your high schoolers.[0:32:40] Setting up the stage for your kid to feel safe to have confusing conversations with you.[0:34:15] We look at screen time and how that changes as kids enter high school.[0:36:30] Keeping the long-term goal (college) in your focus.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
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Welcome to Season 4 of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You! Join Cathy and Meredith as they dive into the real conversations and hidden truths of teenage life, bringing you more fresh insights and practical advice to help you navigate the teen years with confidence and understanding. Are you ready for candid discussions, expert tips, and plenty of laughs? Stay tuned for a season packed with stories and strategies (and maybe even some songs) to make parenting your teenager a little bit easier and a whole lot more rewarding!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:45] Welcome to Season 4 of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You![0:02:10] What to expect from our upcoming episodes.[0:03:08] Your invitation to subscribe and leave us a positive review.[0:04:36] Insight into our recent goal-setting getaway.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
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As the end of senior year approaches, a widespread affliction known as senioritis begins to affect many American high school students. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we explore how to recognize telltale symptoms of the “itis,” address some of its more serious consequences, and offer practical advice for encouraging seniors to make wise choices, even as their motivation wanes. We also share strategies for striking the right balance between letting teens enjoy all the fun and excitement of senior year while emphasizing the importance of a strong academic finish. Tune in today for your comprehensive guide to conquering senioritis, overcoming high school burnout, and ensuring your teen’s success!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:04:03] Trademark indications that your kid has come down with senioritis.[0:07:41] Consequences of senioritis, from summer school to losing scholarships.[0:12:32] Why it’s important to discuss these consequences with seniors.[0:15:41] Advice for parents to help their kids make better choices.[0:19:01] Reasons that absences and tardiness should not be tolerated.[0:21:20] Opportunities to remind seniors of their place in community.[0:22:41] How much assertiveness and guidance is required from parents.[0:28:06] Why this is a special time to bond before your kids go to college.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
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It’s May, so our seniors are heading off to college! And as the sun sets on high school, fatigue, burnout, or even simple wanderlust may lead many to explore the option of a gap year. Welcome back to Shit Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You as today, we explore the highs and lows of taking a year’s break between high school and college. After explaining why we chose today’s topic, we learn about the reasons for wanting to pursue a gap year, the first steps toward taking a gap year, the dangers of taking leave to improve your academic record, and our guidelines and best practices to carry you forward during your year off. We also dive deeper into exploring the value of a gap year, gap year pre-package programs, the power of intention, and how a gap year can also be a way for you to take the time to focus on your mental health.
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:49] Why we’ve chosen to speak about gap years. [0:01:53] Everything you need to know for your first steps toward taking a gap year.[0:06:13] The reasons that kids and their families push for gap years.[0:08:18] Assessing the dangers of a gap year to improve your academic record.[0:10:23] Gap year options, guidelines, and best practices.[0:12:55] Understanding the value gap year, and why it can always be seen as a gift. [0:14:06] Gap year pre-package programs. [0:15:26] How to overcome the fear of falling behind.[0:17:32] The disadvantages of taking a gap year; why intention matters.[0:20:45] Gap year programs for mental health.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
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One of the questions we hear several times a week is about applying to college. We kick off our conversation by weighing in on whether or not you should tell your high school college counselor that you are also consulting with an IEC, or private college counselor. We touch on what you should and shouldn’t disclose in your application, how many times you should take the SATs, and the role of AP scores in building your profile. Join us as we chat about all things waitlists, letters of continued interest, recommenders, and more. Lastly, we unpack whether or not it is worthwhile to add in portfolio work or any other documents that you think may strengthen your case. Tune in today to hear all this and more!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:47] What this episode is dedicated to: FAQs related to the college application process. [0:02:11] Should you tell your high school college counselor that you are working with an IEC or private college counselor?[0:05:09] Whether or not you should disclose a learning difficulty or mental health challenge. [0:10:24] A different perspective on the influence of disclosure on your college application.[0:12:00] The number of times necessary to take the SAT.[0:15:14] Answering whether or not you should include AP scores.[0:16:35] How to get off of a waitlist and whether or not it’s worth it to send a letter of continued interest.[0:20:03] How to choose a recommender and ask for their letter.[0:24:23] The appropriate number of letters of recommendation to include in your application.[0:28:52] Considering whether or not it is worthwhile to include a portfolio of work unrelated to the field of study.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
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Are your kids spending more time glued to screens than engaging with the world around them? Do you find yourself wondering if your child's love for video games is crossing the line into addiction? In this episode, hosts Meredith and Cathy delve into the pressing question: Is my teen addicted to video games? They explore the reasons behind the allure of video games and screens, challenge the notion of demonizing all video games, and discuss how certain games can offer benefits in various aspects of life. They highlight how parents can tell when it becomes problematic and share insights into navigating conversations around potentially addictive gaming or screentime behavior. In the end, it all boils down to finding the right balance for your kids and your family, inviting your kids into inquisitive and caring conversations, and reminding them that gaming and screentime are (and should be) considered a privilege and therefore something that can essentially, be taken away.
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:50] Is your child staring at a screen all day long?[0:02:40] We dive into why kids love spending time playing video games or on a screen.[0:04:20] Why we wouldn’t want to “demonize” all video games.[0:07:20] Positive things that can come from gaming.[0:08:45] The importance of building rapport with your child (about the game they’re playing).[0:10:00] How you can tell if something is problematic.[0:11:25] Strategies for navigating problematic (or addictive) gaming/ use of a device.[0:14:00] Why it’s all about finding a balance.[0:14:35] Approaching the conversation with inquiry and care (and not shaming).[0:16:00] Setting boundaries, even if it isn’t a problem.[0:17:00] Recommended boundaries for parents to implement.[0:23:30] As you work toward balance, remember to set your kids up for success.[0:25:00] Dropping the hammer: consequences that what work and those that perhaps don’t.[0:27:45] The difference between a lecture and a conversation with your children.[0:29:40] How to avoid pushing kids into becoming shady.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
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College counseling can become a really tedious process that is often treated as a ‘one-size-fits-all’ blueprint model. At Village Coaches, we prefer to place emphasis on helping teenagers build important skills that they will use for life and figure out who they are while doing college counseling. In this episode of Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You, we are breaking down what college counselors do, why our model is different from the norm, how meeting with students every week assists the process, and when the best time is to start college coaching. At Village, we don’t offer a generic model for every single student and instead, we help our kids thrive and learn about themselves while building skills they will use in college and beyond. For us, it’s about the long game and college counseling is just one of the many times your kids will encounter uncertainty and challenges. We even discuss why our students come to discuss college issues with us once they have already transitioned from high school. Lastly, we remind you that teenagers are smarter than we think and know themselves more than we give them credit for. You don’t want to miss this one so tune in now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:41] Why we want to discuss what college counseling looks like. [0:02:51] How we define college counseling and the role of a college counselor.[0:08:24] The Village college counselor model and why that feels different from others.[0:13:21] Why we love meeting with students every week. [0:18:02] How our students manage transitioning into college and why they talk to us about it.[0:21:32] What Village Coaches offers that other college counselors don’t.[0:25:11] The best time to start college counseling.[0:30:28] The beauty of getting to do college coaching the way that we want to.[0:32:26] Why we approach kids with curiosity and trust that they know themselves.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Village Coaches
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
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Parents and teens often put way too much emphasis on extracurriculars for college applications when the truth is, they’re not as important as they’re made out to be! Today we dive into a discussion on whether or not colleges care about extracurriculars. Tuning in, you’ll hear all about the importance of choosing activities based on passion and interest and not for the sake of applications, why unique activities are overrated, why the reason for selecting extracurriculars is more important than what is selected, and the negative effects of selecting curated summer programs for teenagers. We delve into why a college resume is not as important as you may think it is and why your actual transcript is far more important before we discuss anchoring decisions about activities based on values. Finally, we break down some examples of purpose and value-based extracurricular activities teenagers have come up with to inspire you. To hear all of this invaluable advice and wisdom, press play now!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:04:28] Why extracurriculars are not as important for college applications as people think. [0:06:05] The danger of doing activities for the sake of college applications and not based on passion.[0:11:42] Why you need to abandon the concept of trying to find unique extracurriculars to do for your college application.[0:12:34] Extracurricular activities being more about the ‘why’ than the ‘what’. [0:18:38] The danger of pre-packaged curated extracurricular programs.[0:23:35] The college resume: not as high-stakes as parents and teens make it out to be. [0:28:20] Why you should anchor decisions surrounding extracurriculars in your values.[0:30:08] Examples of value and purpose-based extracurriculars teenagers have come up.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
The College Essay Guy Presentation
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
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We are very excited to welcome another guest to the Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You podcast! Joining Cathy and Meredith today is Mark Westerfield, a clinical psychologist who focuses on cognitive, social-emotional, and academic evaluations for children, adolescents, and young adults. He’s here to delve into a conversation about an important topic, psycho-educational assessments; what they are, when they are indicated, and what to do with the results from the assessments. Mark unpacks several aspects of the assessment process, the reasons families would seek these services, and the importance of including children in the process, and shares his expertise on how to work with schools to deliver individualized accommodations and recommendations. He also shares advice on how to deal with parents and students who push back or don’t make use of their accommodations. To hear about all this, and much more, make sure not to miss out on this episode! Thanks for listening.
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:01:20] What to expect from today’s episode.[0:01:48] More about our guest today, Mark Westerfield.[0:03:15] Mark unpacks the process of a psycho-educational assessment.[0:04:30] Reasons a family would seek out these types of services.[0:07:20] What Mark would advise families to watch for regarding learning disabilities.[0:11:00] He delves further into the process behind the tests.[0:13:15] How long the process usually takes.[0:14:45] The importance of including the child in the process.[0:16:40] Mark details what a neuro-psych report includes/looks like.[0:18:45] Working with schools on delivering individualized accommodations or recommendations.[0:21:50] Advice to parents/ students who aren’t making use of their accommodations.[0:23:24] Dealing with parents who are giving push-back on using accommodations.[0:26:50] Middle-schoolers and their need to fit in socially.[0:28:25] Ideal ages for the different assessments.[0:30:40] Dealing with the different reasons parents push back from getting their children assessed.[0:36:00] A reminder that all our brains, simply, aren’t the same!Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Mark Westerfield on LinkedIn
Westerfield Psychological Assessment
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
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How many of you actually felt like doing your homework as a kid? During this episode, we’re talking more about motivation; a topic that keeps resurfacing in our conversations with kids. What if discipline was more valuable than motivation? Join us as we explore how to respond to kids who cite a lack of motivation as their reason for achieving below their capabilities. Delving into our childhood experiences, we consider our respective approach to working as Deans and unpack what it might look like to encourage your kids as they develop the muscle of discipline by doing hard things. We also take a look at what may lie below what kids experience as a lack of motivation and discuss an alternative way of understanding what might cause them to feel that way. Listen in to hear all this and more!
Key Points From This Episode:
[0:00:50] The topic we are revisiting during this episode: motivation.[0:01:19] Feedback Cathy has received from her students on motivation. [0:04:01] Weighing in on how we all felt about our homework as children. [0:06:52] What kids are really looking for in the moment: motivation to do their homework.[0:09:46] How Meredith and Cathy would define their style of work as Deans.[0:13:10] Teaching kids to develop the muscle of discipline.[0:18:51] Why it is beneficial to push your kids to do hard things.[0:22:31] Managing your own discomfort at seeing your kids suffer.[0:28:40] How technology robs students of sitting with their own discomfort. [0:30:49] What kids can conflate motivation with: fear.[0:35:00] Why discipline is ultimately more valuable than motivation.Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
The Value Sort App
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You
Sh*t Your Teenagers Won’t Tell You on Instagram
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