Body-shame, Hunger and Redemption: Beyond Sexism and Diet Culture with David Bedrick

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Exploring Male Sexuality, Consent, and Tender Heartedness with Dr. Eric Fitzmedrud
22 Sep 2023· Sidewalk Talk
In this enlightening episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, your host Traci Ruble engages in a thought-provoking conversation with Dr. Eric Fitzmedrud, a prominent couple's therapist specializing in male sexuality. Their discussion delves into the complex world of male sexuality, consent, and the significance of emotional intelligence within relationships.
Traci expresses her deep admiration for Dr. Fitz's work and the unique lens through which he views male sexuality, emphasizing his dedication to issues related to consent and patriarchy.
One of the highlights of the episode is the exploration of Dr. Fitz's groundbreaking book published this week, "The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex." Traci feels so strongly about the potential of this book to radically alter sex from a pressure tug-of-war between partners to something magical.
Dr. Fitz underscores the importance of men reconnecting with their tender hearts and nurturing authentic relationships. He argues that this is key to unlocking their true power and satisfaction.
The conversation takes an intriguing turn as they discuss the potential conflict between tenderness and sexiness. Dr. Fitz illuminates how embracing tenderness can create safety within relationships and enhance intense sexual experiences.
Episode Timeline[00:09] Intro [0:58] Meet Dr. Eric Fitzmedrud aka “Dr. Fitz”[7:33] Men’s power comes from their tenderheartedness[9:04] Different erotic styles. [11:37] Consent leads to more pleasure[18:08] Gender essentialism and what transmen can teach all men about sexual pleasure.[23:51] How sexual shame shows up.[32:04] How to liberate men from patriarchy?[37:51] Dr. Fitz’s message to Sidewalk Talk listeners[39:50] Outro Resources Mentioned
The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex (Book)
Standout Quotes“...our love, our capacity to connect, our capacity to be in genuine, authentic relationship, is where our deepest power comes from - men or people of any gender.” (Dr. Fitz)“Consent culture can take place in the therapist's office or the boardroom or anywhere we meet and connect with each other.” (Dr. Fitz)“We get caught in these conflicting messages with very few messages that confirm for us the innate essence of goodness in us, that our sexuality is good, that our desire and capacity for love is real and needed in the world.” (Dr. Fitz)“...a penis being hard ejaculating the way that you think it ought to or somebody's told you it ought to, isn't essential to being a man. It isn't essential to being a good lover, because that trans man over there can be a good lover too.” (Dr. Fitz)“...if we don't attend to the flowing water of sexuality, it's still flowing. And if we don't attend to where it's going, it will continue filling up whatever reservoir we've bottled it up into until it will overflow our boundaries and it will feel out of control for us.” (Dr. Fitz)
Find | Sidewalk Talk
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Dr. Eric Fitzmedrud
At www.drericfitz.com
On Instagram: @drericfitz
On Facebook: @drericfitz
On TikTok: @drericfitz
On LinkedIn: @drericfitz
On Twitter: @drericfitz
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Reinventing Masculinity Will Allow Men to Live Longer Happier Lives | Ed Frauenheim
21 Apr 2023· Sidewalk Talk
Reinventing Masculinity Will Allow Men to Live Longer Happier Lives | Ed Frauenheim
Ed Frauenheim is a consultant and co-author of four books, including A Great Place to Work For All and Reinventing Masculinity: The Liberating Power of Compassion and Connection.
Ed and Traci share how old-school masculinity has harmed both of their lives. Ed gives concrete instructions on what all of us can do today to begin to reinvent masculinity.
Episode Timeline[00:09] Intro [0:58] Meet Ed[4:16] Ed’s Heartbreaks[8:25] Liberating masculinity from “bad guy branding”[11:55] Expressing feelings instead of getting violent[16:45] Men’s earliest friendships [23:03] Why men don’t listen[28:34] Men as unconscious ATM machines[39:47] Attachment wounds in marriage[45:50] Underneath men’s anger is a broken heart[47:40] Closing[49:35] Outro Resources Mentioned
Reinventing Masculinity (Book)
Standout Quotes“I've had my own heartbreaks, you might say, or a lot of sadness and struggle and shame around not fitting into the typical categories and not meeting the expectations of being a winner, a high-performing professional that rises to the top of an organization, a clutch sports performer, even a lady killer.” (Ed)“...elevating how important it is to be compassionate and connected as men today.” (Ed)“I'm interested in justice and liberation from confining roles that our society puts on all of us.” (Traci)“It's borne out in the data that when men really adhere to those conventional beliefs very strictly, they don't live as long. They have worse health outcomes in general.” (Ed)“The single biggest factor for health and a long, happy life is friendships.” (Ed)“Men get this message at some point, especially in adolescence, that you’ve got to be the smartest guy in the room. And to be curious and ask questions is seen as weak, and we can't be weak. We smush out that curiosity.” (Ed)“We've been told to be courageous and we are often courageous in the physical realm, in the financial realm, but not necessarily the realm of feelings.” (Ed)“You can tell how hungry we are as men, as human beings for connection.” (Ed) Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Ed Frauenheim
At www.edfrauenheim.com
On LinkedIn: @edfrauenheim
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How to Break our Addiction To Othering with Dawn Menken
23 Mär 2023· Sidewalk Talk
Dawn Menken, PhD. has been working in the field of psychology and facilitator development for over 35 years. She is an internationally respected educator, therapist, leadership coach, and conflict resolution specialist. She co-founded the Process Work Institute, a not-for-profit graduate school dedicated to the training of facilitators, where she co-created its Masters's programs and served as academic dean for more than a decade. She is the author of Facilitating a More Union: A Guide for Politicians and Leaders, which offers a radical and innovative approach to political discourse. She is also the author of the award-winning book Raising Parents Raising Kids: Hands-on Wisdom for the Next Generation. In all of her endeavors, she is moved to improve social discourse and inspire more meaningful civic engagement.
Join Traci and Dawn as they explore the foundations of process work and how it can help us shift out of polarization. Dawn reads the most beautiful speech she would give to the Charlottesville rioters. In this speech she overcomes her terror as a Jewish woman and models how we all can confront our addiction to “other” by speaking both ferociously and compassionately.
Episode Timeline
[00:09] Intro [0:58] Meet Dawn[4:19] Professor Ben Thompson introduces Dawn to Arnold Mindell’s work during a class on the books of Carlos Castaneda about the Yaqui Mexican Indian Sorcerer, Don Juan Matus[9:29] What is the Dreambody?[11:47] Working On Body Symptoms[17:25] Norms or how we “should” be and busting out of stereotypes[21:11] The embodied unconscious[25:14] Otherizing and polarizing as a global human tendency[31:56] Dawn’s speech to the white nationalists in Charlottesville[36:09] Breaking our own addiction to othering people[43:32] OutroResources Mentioned
Facilitating a More Perfect Union (Book)
Raising Parents Raising Kids (Book)
The Process Work Institute
Standout Quotes“...it's more about trying to explore what is emergent and trying to happen in you.” (Dawn)“I want to add the idea that we don't just have a platform and advocate for our one-sided views, but the facilitator or the leader must position herself also as a facilitator because you're not just leading one section of the world. We have to find a way to get along and to facilitate dialog.” (Dawn)“It's about the human tendency to otherize someone.” (Dawn)“This whole idea of otherizing is about how we also, as individuals, marginalize different parts of ourselves. Wholeness is really about connecting and getting on with that with which we marginalize internally, in our relationships, and in the world at large. (Dawn)“With all my years on this planet Earth, I am more interested in my larger goals of democracy and people getting along.” (Dawn)“...how to reach out to a side that you feel is so repulsive to you, and at the same time, take a stand. How to do both at the same time.” (Dawn)“I want to tell those protesters that deep down you have more in common with those whom you battle. You're looking for your place, that precious feeling of belonging and pride. (Dawn)It is the deepest human longing for all people who risk everything and flee violent circumstances to reside in these United States of America. There is room enough for all of us. (Dawn)We all need to feel our pride and sense of home without denigrating others. It is the only way forward. Feel pride in your vision to live in a country that insists on freedom and belonging for all people. (Dawn)Being one-sided is very addictive.If you have a humanistic view, if you have a view of people and community, the deepest religions talk about that. If you want to connect, if you want to understand and get along, then you have to go beyond your one-sided position. (Dawn) Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Dr. Dawn Menken
At www.dawnmenken.com
On Instagram: @processworkinstitute
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Normalize Loving Conflict Everywhere with Rosa Zubizaretta
17 Mär 2023· Sidewalk Talk
Rosa supports leaders and groups around the world to work creatively with divergent perspectives. Her mission is developing our collective capacity to transform friction into useful energy and greater insight. Author of From Conflict to Creative Collaboration, a manual on Dynamic Facilitation. She also just finished her Ph.D. so soon we should say Dr. Rosa Zubizaretta. This has freed up her time to take on new clients after some time steeped in academia.
What would happen if helping a neighbor with a conflict was as normal as waking up in the morning? What if our companies had an ethos that conflict is not only natural but good and has a hearty system for restoring after conflict? That is what Traci and Rosa discuss as well as why we need to not start with our most difficult political rivals but make resolving conflict with those close to us our first order of business.
Episode Timeline[00:09] Intro [1:41] Meet Rosa[3:21] Rosa’s contribution to the Sidewalk Talk Bus Tour[5:23] German and European ties[7:16] We need each other[8:51] De shame yourself[11:42] Common causes of conflict[15:43] How conflict is in heaven[18:56] Dominic Barter’s restorative circles[25:40] Start where it is easy[33:30] Love wrestling with your husband[38:08] Passionate conflict is an energy turbine[41:32] The roots of violence[46:18] Closing[48:35] OutroResources Mentioned
From Conflict to Creative Collaboration (Book)
Standout Quotes“I just want to start with the fact that as human beings, we get into messes with each other” (Rosa)“Anybody can learn how to hold space productively for another person and listen deeply.” (Rosa)“If the 99 % could figure out how to do collaboration between us, we'd be so F* strong,” (Rosa)“But we grew up in a culture where we do not learn how to confront people with love. ” (Rosa)“Conflict happens when we're at our edge. It's like, there's an edge there. There's something that I don't know or understand yet, or something's getting triggered or something. And so it's a potential growth place. ” (Rosa)“I think conflict is a potentially renewable, sustainable source of energy ” (Rosa)“We just have to open the space so that we are not butt heads against each other, but that that passion gets harnessed.” (Rosa)Connect
Find | Sidewalk Talk
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Rosa Zubizarreta
At www.diapraxis.com
www.co-intelligence.institute
On LinkedIn: @rosazubizarreta
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Being A Sacredly Powerful Human with Julio Maria Muhorro
8 Mär 2023· Sidewalk Talk
Julio Maria Muhorro is a power coach, facilitator, and speaker. He uses his 10 years of experience in management, training, and research to enable entrepreneurs, leaders, and organizations to tap into their power so that they can engage with their stakeholders from a place of deep purpose, sharpen their offerings to deliver innovative services and digital products and tell transformational stories to drive long-lasting social and economic impact.
Join Traci in a conversation with Julio where Traci asks Julio, “How can I use my power wisely?” Julio will lay out three concrete steps you will need to take and give you a heads-up on the significant resistance you will likely meet. This is a podcast where you will likely want something to take notes with nearby.
Episode Timeline[00:09] Intro [2:58] Meet Julio[3:48] It isn’t about wealth and achievement[6:57] Saudade - Portuguese word to long to be with[11:16] It’s what you do with your power that counts[13:01] The will of nature and the will of the divine trumps human will[16:08] Three steps to using your power[25:54] Powerful on the sidewalk[29:55] Sharing your power with the right people[34:15] Boundaries and what is sacred[40:30] Closing[42:42] Outro Resources Mentioned
Never Been Done Before Global Facilitator’s Community
Standout Quotes“Power is tricky because we are real shitheads with power.” (Traci)“Power is not something that it can be given or taken from you because you are powerful because you exist.” (Julio)“...remember, you're not controlling your life. You are leading the co-creation of it.” (Julio)“A lot of the times there is a disassociation between what people are saying about you and how you see yourself.” (Julio)“We show up today not based on our performance and results that we achieved in the past, but based on what we believe is possible in the future.” (Julio)“It's getting in alignment with all the different wills, the human will, the natural will, and the divine will to choose the right people to be in this virtuous circle with.” (Traci)“What will it take for you to live in power now? Not to rest in power, not to have a powerful moment or a powerful day tomorrow, but to live in power now.” (Julio)“If you're not able to see the sacredness in you, everything else will fall apart. Because even if people are trying to honor that sacredness, you don't feel as though you deserve it. So you will sabotage it, you will deflect it.” (Julio) Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Julio Maria Muhorro
At Link Tree
On Instagram: @liveinpowernow
On LinkedIn: @juliomuhorro
On TikTokr: @liveinpowernow
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What this crisis manager learned from indigenous wisdom | Thomas Lahnthaler
3 Mär 2023· Sidewalk Talk
Thomas Lanthaler drops into hot spots of crisis all over the world and helps people make decisions to get through the chaos as peacefully as possible.
He is an experienced international crisis leader, experiential facilitator, and speaker with nearly two decades of experience across 30 countries. Thomas is the Founder and CEO of The Crisis Compass. This cross-sectoral consultancy acts as a partner and guide to companies genuinely interested in working with a crisis as a means for innovation. He advises leaders on all aspects of human-centered crisis management, confident decision-making, and making businesses crisis-ready using innovative tools to deal with uncertainty and challenging situations - all centered around learning and communication to reframe crises into means of reinvention.
In this episode of the Sidewalk Talk podcast, you will get an inside view of the life of a humanitarian crisis manager and learn what crisis management even is. Then you will have the chance to go on a deep and soulful journey with Thomas as he experienced a new way of thinking about community care and self-responsibility while training with aboriginal leaders in Australia.
Episode Timeline
[00:09] Intro
[0:58] Meet Thomas
[7:35] Becoming a crisis manager
[11:17] Fatherhood and how children are natural crisis managers
[13:32] What is crisis management
[17:21] When we label things a crisis
[25:15] What are your non-negotiables?
[31:40] Ritual and spirituality
[39:17] An earth-based practice of collectivism
[48:46] Closing
[49:40] Outro
Resources Mentioned
Navigating Beyond Crisis (Book)
Standout Quotes
“If you make a small difference with just one person, you've already made a difference.” (Thomas)
“A crisis is not an event. A crisis is basically the aftermath of it.” (Thomas)
“If it's not a life or death crisis, no one is dying in front of you, there's always time.” (Thomas)
“I deserve the acceptance here, but I also have to give acceptance because others are different and they will see it differently.” (Thomas)
“I'm talking about the awareness, what it does to me if I actually let go.” (Thomas)
“We're trying to do what you just talked about, sitting there on the land, trying to practice collectivism.” (Traci)
Connect
Find | Sidewalk Talk At sidewalk-talk.orgOn Instagram: @sidewalktalkorgOn Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci RubleAt Traciruble.comOn Instagram: @TraciRubleMFTOn Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Thomas LahnthalerAt www.thecrisiscompass.comOn LinkedIn: @thomaslahnthalerOn Medium:@thomas-89340
Subscribe to this podcast
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Going to Work is an Important Source of Happiness Despite Its Bad Press with Dr. Tracy Brower
21 Feb 2023· Sidewalk Talk
Dr. Tracy Brower is a PhD sociologist and vice president of workplace insights for Steelcase. She is the author of The Secrets to Happiness at Work and Bring Work to Life, as well as a contributor to Forbes.com and Fast Company.
Traci and Tracy sort through information on workplace happiness and how the workplace meets important needs in our lives for happiness, meaning, and belonging. Not everyone wants to be friends with their co-workers but we do get an important sense of identity and belonging from our work that cannot be overlooked.
Episode Timeline[00:09] Intro [0:58] Meet Tracy[4:19] Human connection and feeling of community is critical for our work.[7:19] The workplace is an important place of stability and identity that is important to our well-being. [14:19] Comparison goals like wealth and status don’t lead to happiness.[17:08] List of the top 5 happiness producers in our lives.[25:08] What leads to workplace burnout?[34:27] Friendship, friendliness, and trust in our workplace relationships. [43:06] Closing[43:32] OutroResources Mentioned
The Secrets to Happiness At Work (Book)
Bring Work to Life (Book)
Standout Quotesthe thing that I'm thinking about work is just how critical it is that we appreciate it as part of a full life, not the only part of our life, but part of a full life.” (Tracy)I think we can get into this almost like a vicious cycle of I don't feel connected, I don't feel as valued, therefore, I don't connect as much, and I don't feel as valued.” (Tracy)“Whenever we get our roots disconnected from our community, we have a psychological reaction to that from a deep attachment place, from a psychological place in us. For some of us, what happens is we do have to find a villain in that narrative.” (Traci)“One of the things that's correlated with happiness is focusing on the community, focusing on what I'm giving. More generosity is correlated with happiness, and more self-focus is negatively correlated with happiness.” (Tracy)Sometimes we think of purpose with a capital P, and if I'm not changing the world. But really, it's just the thing that we do well. We wake up in the morning and do well for the people that we care about and for our work community and our broader community.” (Tracy)Usually, the best team bonding happens through task where we're rolling up our sleeves together and working on a new initiative or solving a problem.” (Tracy)Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Dr. Tracy Brower
At www.davidbedrick.com
On Instagram: @tlb108
On LinkedIn: @tracybrowerphd
On Twitter: @tracybrower108
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Body-shame, Hunger and Redemption: Beyond Sexism and Diet Culture with David Bedrick
7 Dez 2022· Sidewalk Talk
David Bedrick is a psychological activist - an ally to the unheard and marginalized voices inside individuals and the culture at large.
Join Traci as she discusses body image, body-shame and diet culture with David, which is also the subject of David’s book: You can’t judge a Body by its Cover: 17 Women’s Stories of Hunger, Body Shame, and Redemption.
Episode Timeline[00:09] Intro [0:58] Meet David[2:39] How David (a white man from New York) came to write a book about women’s bodies[9:33] How David’s longing to be witnessed led to him become a witness to others[13:42] Psychological Activism[14:48] What’s cooking?[29:40] The inner paradox of diet culture[38:12] How you can find David[41:43] David’s message to the Sidewalk Talk volunteers[43:06] Closing[43:32] Outro Resources Mentioned
You can’t judge a Body by its Cover: 17 Women’s Stories of Hunger, Body Shame, and Redemption (David’s book)
Standout Quotes“The idea of having a witness to somebody else's suffering my own and other people's bodies and difficulties became a very important thing to me.” (David)“So my fascination or hunger to learn from other people was really important to me.” (David)“The word that's just coming into the foreground is this deep longing that you had to be witnessed, that you've now been transmuted into as the witnesser.” (Traci)“What happens if I'm not seen or I'm looked at as a problem and not as a source of brilliance or beauty or creativity?” (David)“Are you trying to make everyone a sliced piece of really boring American cheese where we're all plasticy wrapped up in that cellophane wrapper so that we're convenient and we go back to work and we're not a pain in the ass?” (Traci)“And what I hear you advocating for is the beauty, the wisdom, the complexity, the nuance, the multigenerational story that a soul holds, and the fixed idea of psychology sometimes doesn't do a very good job of gestating.” (Traci)“Research says 98% of women have violent voices in their head every day about their bodies. And it's not minor violent. Not like that doesn't look good on you. I'm not talking about that. I would repeat them, but then we'd have to slow down and hear them because they're so gross.” (David)“Oh, my god. So what if what if all of us women are going on diets and choosing to fail the diets because it's the actual way that we're trying to rise up against patriarchy to say fuck you to the diet.” (Traci) Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | David Bedrick
At www.davidbedrick.com
In Two Deep (David’s podcast): https://www.intwodeep.com/
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Seeking Wonder with Andrea Scher
22 Nov 2022· Sidewalk Talk
Andrea Scher is a writer, artist and life coach whose work is driven by her belief in the transformative power of wonder for creativity and wellbeing. For nearly two decades, through her award-winning blog Superhero Journal, her international workshops, her Creative Superheroes podcast, and bestselling e-courses, she has thrilled others with their own power to find magic all around them.
Join this conversation for a celebration of joy, love, friendship and the wonder of wonder.
Episode Timeline[00:09] Intro [0:57] Meet Andrea[3:20] A peek inside Andrea’s birthday and book release party[4:43] How Andrea’s experiences of depression and anxiety led her to become a seeker of wonder[6:26] Who Andrea is in the world [8:12] How Andrea leads people to their own joy and delight[9:27] How to recognise a Full Body Yes[10:37] How Andrea used her Full Body Yes to meet some extraordinary people through online dating[11:36] Desire tracking (and what gets in the way of us doing it)[13:00] The people who have most inspired Andrea[17:34] The creative spark that birthed Andrea’s book[21:14] Putting on your Wonder Goggles[26:11] Negativity bias[29:27] How we can cultivate wonder in our relationships[30:54] Andrea’s (platonic) rendezvous with a beautiful man on a flight from Milan[37:34] Andrea’s message to the Sidewalk Talk volunteers[39:49] Closing[40:44] Outro Resources Mentioned
Wonder Seeker (Andrea’s book)
Superhero Journal (Andrea’s blog)
Standout Quotes“I think what I like to do is help people move toward their delight and move toward what feels joyful for them, what feels delicious to them.” (Andrea)“a lot of times we're just living this life in this sort of default, unconscious way, and we're not pursuing what actually makes us feel joyful. So that's what I'm sort of orienting people toward.” (Andrea)“Isn't the body amazing at giving us cues and how often we're living in our heads?” (Traci)“We’re not even tracking our own desire and our own wanting, because we're already thinking about, well, what does this other person need and what do they want and what's convenient for them?” (Andrea)“I'm so grateful that this dream happened when I turned 50 because I feel like I can hold the joy of it fully.” (Andrea)“It's not an accidental thing that when you invite it in and put yourself in the way of wonder, you actually set your life up to have more and more of it.” (Traci)“we need to train our brain to also scan for what's good and what's beautiful and what's working in order to sort of, like, kind of balance the scales neurologically so that we have a chance at feeling more joy.” (Andrea)“There's a way that your life is always speaking to us, whether that means, like, our higher self is speaking to us, our spirit is speaking to us, or the mystery, it really doesn't matter how you name it, but yeah, I think that's so beautiful and absolutely the way I move through the world, and it feels like magic.” (Andrea)“Curiosity is key because we think we know things. We think we know. We think we know what wonder means. We think we know who our partner is. We think there's nothing new to discover.” (Andrea) “finding our wonder inside of the messiness is exactly where we need to tend it most. So tending our joy, tending our wonder is crucial at moments like this.” (Andrea) Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Andrea Scher
At www.andreascher.com
On Instagram: @AndreaScher
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Why I don’t want to die anymore with Johnny Crowder
10 Nov 2022· Sidewalk Talk
Johnny Crowder is a suicide and abuse survivor. You've probably seen him. He's tatted up, and he's been a TEDx speaker. Johnny’s a billboard charting rock musician and a certified Recovery peer specialist. But what he's most known for is as the founder and CEO of Cope Notes, which is an online mental health platform that provides daily support to people in over 100 countries around the world.
If you have ever doubted whether you matter (and let’s be honest, how many of us haven’t?), this episode will be a balm for you. Johnny brings rock n roll vibes, vulnerability and a wisdom beyond his years to this emotional and essential conversation.
Episode Timeline[00:09] Intro [0:58] Meet Johnny[4:31] Johnny’s reflections on how entrepreneurship is one of the most challenging of human experiences[5:57] Johnny’s relationship with his mental health (“not lovers, but roommates”)[8:14] Traci’s own experiences with her mental health[11:16] Johnny’s simple realisation that inspired him to create Cope Notes [13:11] Tech companies and rock stars (Johnny’s unique way of bringing together his identities)[18:29] What Johnny’s learnt about human needs for connection[20:48] Johnny’s reflections on his (and our) needs for relationship and support[27:47] Johnny’s experience of sexual abuse… and then eventually starting a romantic relationship[34:52] The familiarity of drama and intensity when we don’t believe we matter[40:12] How the You Matter sentiment would solve 90% of human suffering[41:21] Closing[42:58] Outro Resources Mentioned
Why I don’t want to die anymore (Johnny’s Tedx Talk)
Cope Notes
Standout Quotes“I would estimate that entrepreneurship is one of the most physically and mentally and emotionally challenging things and spiritually challenging things that anybody could ever embark on.” (Johnny) “Imagine doing like a tough mudder competition where you're like climbing stuff and you're running swimming through this muck and you're exhausted and your feet are blistered and stuff, and you come out the other end, and when you get to the finish line, the finish line is the start of the Boston Marathon. And you're like what?” (Johnny)“I actually find people struggling with mental illness to be having a healthy response to a very sick society.” (Traci)“So if I really wanted to analyze my fierce pursuit of changing the world, it is half because I have a deep empathy for people who are just feeling the same kind of stuff that I am. But there has to be some component in there that I'm not aware of that's, like, wanting to feel like it's a good thing that I was born.” (Johnny)“If I felt like I deserved nice things and I was enough and I've done enough, I would be the most chill human being on the planet.” (Johnny) Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Johnny Crowder
At https://johnnycrowder.com/
On Instagram: @JohnnyCrowderLovesYou
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High Conflict (and how we get out) with Amanda Ripley
25 Okt 2022· Sidewalk Talk
Amanda Ripley is a New York Times bestselling author, an investigative journalist, and the co-founder of Good Conflict, LLC. She writes for the Atlantic, the Washington Post, and Politico, and she spent a decade writing about human behavior for Time magazine in New York, Washington, and Paris.
Listen in as Amanda and Traci explore what High Conflict is (and how we get out) drawing on research, insights, and experience across astronauts on space missions (yes, really!), the Israeli-Palestine conflict, intimate relationships across political divides, gang warfare, and racism.
Episode Timeline[00:09] Intro [0:58] Meet Amanda[3:44] Amanda’s journey to becoming a writer - and how she’s not like Stephen King[8:14] Journalism, Conflict Entrepreneurship, and our need to matter[10:17] Gossip: the art of creating intimacy through a common enemy[11:46] Conflict in space missions (NASA studies with astronauts)[15:09] “Us versus them” and dehumanization[15:50] Curtis Toller’s story of gang rivalry… and redemption[19:38] The paradox of internal and external conflict[22:00] The “exhausted majority” who want less toxicity in politics[23:40] Sidewalk Talk’s Wish you knew Me project, designed for couples who have conflict around politics or vaccines[27:12] Bringing Black and white communities together in the wake of George Floyd’s murder[29:20] The impact of positional power on the need to be heard [31:38] The art of political speech[33:35] Social media and automatic responses[39:32] Friendship, stereotyping, and how a lack of listening shuts down conversations[41:35] Learning to dialogue differently around issues of righteous callout… like racism, vaccines, mask-wearing.[45.09] Amanda’s message to the Sidewalk Talk volunteers[47:14] Closing[48:01] OutroResources Mentioned
High Conflict: Why we get trapped, and how we get out (Amanda’s book)
Standout Quotes“you'll never get out of external conflict until you work on the internal conflict” (Amanda)“I feel like that's why we're in this situation. We'd rather just continue othering.” (Traci)“Meanwhile there's this “exhausted majority”... who really want major social change and they want less toxicity in the conflict. So both at once they don't necessarily want moderation or centrism, but they want less toxicity, less dehumanization.” (Amanda)“There’s something like 40 million Americans who stopped speaking to someone in their lives over the 2016 election.” (Traci)“So we're not marrying, dating, or living next to or working with people of other political persuasions is a big problem.” (Traci)“yes, you shouldn't let people get away with saying racist things. And what do you say in response? Like, where is the skill, the craft, the learning, the education, the nuance of sophistication emotional, intellectual around what you say, how you respond to that?” (Amanda)“We could make lasting change that really solves racism in America or dehumanization of any kind by developing the capacity to dialogue differently.” (Traci)“When you really listen to someone, even if you disagree, there is something that opens up. There's an opening that happens in your mind and in your heart. And most people who experience that kind of opening across a big difference want more of it. It's almost like a drug, like a very good drug.” (Amanda) Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Amanda Ripley
At https://www.amandaripley.com/
On Twitter: @AmandaRipley
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Rule Makers and Rule Breakers with Michele Gelfand
19 Okt 2022· Sidewalk Talk
Michele Gelfand is a Professor at Stanford University, and an expert on negotiation and cross-cultural psychology. Her book Rule Makers, Rule Breakers explores how tight and loose cultures wire our world, and in doing so offers unique insights on how we might bridge today’s cultural divides.
Michele and Traci chat about the impact of culture on everything from international negotiation to couple’s arguments over chores… in a wide-ranging and fascinating conversation that might just shift how you see yourself and the people around you.
Episode Timeline[00:09] Intro [0:58] Meet Michele[3:33] “Tight” and “loose” culture as a puzzle[5:25] Michele and Traci share traveling stories and how they illuminate cultural differences (and subcultural similarities)[8:58] What is culture?[10:19] How countries develop a tight or loose culture[12:17] How understanding culture can create empathy[16:27] The polarization at play in the USA’s culture[17:40] Why experiencing threat can lead people to want a tighter culture[19:31] Michele shares the behind-the-scenes of a fascinating study challenging the views of people from Pakistan and the USA have of each other[21:33] Cultural intelligence as a way of connecting more deeply[26:32] How tight and loose cultures responded to the pandemic[29:16] Getting curious about psychology in international negotiating [34:07] Negotiations in couples (the impact of leaning tight or loose)[35:45] Household chores and the surprising thing they reveal about attitudes and culture[40:51] The relationship between rules and social class[44:48] Michele’s life advice (including a touching reflection from her late father-in-law)[47:35] Closing[48:01] OutroResources Mentioned
Rule Makers, Rule Breakers (Michele’s book)
Standout Quotes“Cultural intelligence is critical for connection because then you're really open-minded to people's lives and why they evolved the way they did. And it's really hard sometimes not to be judgmental.” (Michele)“In the US, individualism and doing your own thing is so part of the culture. And partly it's something that we've inherited because we have more wealth than other cultures and so in contexts where there's not a lot of wealth, you need to have strong support. You need to kind of help out the family. Like, it's just absolutely necessary.” (Michele)“there's less debt and there's less alcoholism, less obesity in tighter cultures.” (Michele)“loose cultures did far worse during COVID. But loose cultures are really open and creative and tolerant.” (Michele)Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Michele Gelfand
At https://www.michelegelfand.com/
On Twitter: @MicheleJGefland
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Sensitive Striving with Melody Wilding
11 Okt 2022· Sidewalk Talk
Melody Wilding is an executive coach for Sensitive Strivers - smart, sensitive high-achievers who are tired of getting in their own way. Melody is a Sensitive Striver herself, a licensed social worker, professor of Human Behavior and a contributor to Harvard Business Review, Forbes, and Business Insider. She’s also the author of Trust Yourself, described by Susan Cain as “essential reading for every introverted, sensitive professional”.
Listen in is as Melody and Traci take us on a tour of what it means to be a Sensitive Striver, the constellation of challenges facing sensitive people, and how the characteristics of Sensitive Strivers make them the leaders of the future.
Episode Timeline[00:09] Intro [2:20] Melody shares the personal and clinical experiences that led her to the work she does now, including her experience of extreme burnout[9:32] The constellation of challenges Melody sees facing sensitive, Type A people[13:22] Melody’s wake-up call moment[16:42] The Honorable Hangover (a form of achievement addiction)[19:30] The 3 characteristics of the Honorable Hangover (perfectionism, people-pleasing and over-functioning)[24:43] The mindset shift needed for success as a Sensitive Striver[27:27] Melody’s own experiences of being a Sensitive Striver[29:53] Creating intuitive flow (and leaving behind “butt in chair” time)[30:31] Why Sensitive Strivers need processing space and time[31:00] Behind the scenes of Melody’s book-writing process[33:14] How Sensitive Strivers are perfectly placed for leadership and the future demands of workplaces[35:12] Is Sensitive Striving a Millennial thing? [39:22] Melody’s message to you, if you’re a Sensitive Striver[39:50] Closing[41:10] Outro Resources Mentioned
Trust Yourself - Stop Overthinking and Channel Emotions for success at work (You can download a free chapter of Melody’s book)
Standout Quotes“I was working with very high achieving, career-driven people and saw this constellation of challenges imposter syndrome, self-doubt, the people pleasing, perfectionism, over-functioning, and really came to see that it fell into two patterns. It fell into a profound sensitivity towards the world, as well as this striving side, this high achiever, pushing, want to be the best and grow yourself sort of side.” (Melody)“The Honor Roll Hangover is usually one of the biggest blockers to trusting yourself and to really becoming a more empowered, balanced, sensitive driver. And with it, some signs of it. You are fixated on goal setting. You set a lot of goals, you enjoy hitting them. But if you don't have something that you're moving towards, you feel like you're worthless, you're never doing enough.” (Melody)“So that's what I would offer people is to think about how you might see those three elements of the honor roll hangover, perfectionism, people pleasing, over functioning coming up in your life. Because really being able to shake that to put in its place is really key to moving on and getting the best out of your qualities as a sensitive driver.” (Melody)“And so the work isn't “butt in chair” time. It's the time that we create so that we can be more intuitive.” (Traci)“(Sensitive Strivers are…) highly empathetic, and that is classic because we need processing time. We need processing space and time. And neurologically speaking, we're wired differently. If you look at research on the highly sensitive brain, we have more activation in areas related to mental processing. So our brains make novel connections. We see nuances, we spot opportunities that other people miss. We synthesize and are able to take in and process complex information more deeply, which is why on your run you're having those great insights.” (Melody)“30% of the population that has this genetic trait difference that leads to a highly attuned nervous system, which is basically all sensitivity is.” (Melody)“you are not crazy for being so affected by everything around you. The fact that you are doing this work, that you are receptive and perceptive and empathetic to other people's needs is your superpower and find other ways to lean into that fully and let that be your greatest strength because it's a gift to yourself and a gift to the world.” (Melody) Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Melody Wilding
At https://melodywilding.com/
On Medium
On Instagram: @melodywilding
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Black Feminism and Sensuous Knowledge with Minna Salami
4 Okt 2022· Sidewalk Talk
Hailed as a “blistering new literary voice”, Minna Salami is a Nigerian-Finnish and Swedish writer and social critic, and the founder of the multiple award-winning blog, MsAfropolitan, which connects feminism with critical reflections on contemporary culture from an Africa-centred perspective.
Traci talks with Minna following the publication of her new book, Sensuous Knowledge, which was described by Bernadine Evaristo as “intellectual soul food”. Their conversation is a deep, rich and wonderful romp through Minna’s muti-faceted identity and how her experiences have shaped her writings on Black feminism, Minna’s fresh cultural insights and the need to create space for growth and grappling in today’s world.
Episode Timeline[00:09] Intro [00:57] Meet Minna[2:38] The five(!) languages Minna speaks, and how they have shaped the way she thinks of Black feminism [10:55] how Blackness is tied to the African American experience[14:50] the impact Minna wants to create through her writing[20:26] Making room for growth and grappling[26:00] Minna’s intuitive writing process[43:12] Having ownership of your inner world[45:56] Closing[46:35] OutroResources Mentioned
Sensuous Knowledge (Minna’s book)
Standout Quotes“Blackness right now is very much tied to the African American experience and the kind of definitions of Blackness as African Americans. It formulates them. And the way that Blackness would be formulated in a kind of Diasporic sensibility outside of America and in the African continent certainly overlaps and is connected. There would be context, sort of dialectic contexts that are siblings, but there are also differences.” (Minna)“I think the closest analogy to how I feel when I'm writing is a bit like an archaeologist might feel when they're trying to find some very specific object and they have to sort of excavate everything that's in the way and remove obstacles in order to gain the kind of clarity of how they might find their objects.” (Minna)“a personal process of growth is of course completely tied to a collective process of growth.” (Minna)“I also started the blog out of frustration and rage, maybe even because of the state of exclusion that Black women face, especially in the ideas world, which is a world that I very much see myself as contributing to, as well as the kind of feminist theory and feminist activism world.” (Minna)“I think there's this invitation that how we move from our unconscious bias is that we do have to begin to learn a different kind of knowledge and we have to make it a regular practice where we're listening to more stories, the land, people from different viewpoints, our own bodies.” (Traci)“...is wanting to think up or to conjure a way of knowing that is simultaneously utopian and pragmatic. There's a lot of radical ideas in the world, many of which I am really inspired by and thankful for but many that I also can feel are impractical and I sometimes approach more as poems or something to kind of plant a seed of something.” (Minna)“I will say that the inner world and the things that you choose to pay attention to, things that you choose to be preoccupied with. Those are the spaces which have not been taken over… And so it's very important, it's incredibly important that you cater to that space and that you have ownership of that space. And it's by no means a space that isn't full of complex feelings. It's that inner world where joy resides, but also sorrow and suffering. But it's the space you own.” (Minna) Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Minna Salami
At https://msafropolitan.com/
On Instagram: @minnasalami_
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Being seen, just as you are with Natalie Koussa
26 Sep 2022· Sidewalk Talk
In this episode of the Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci is in conversation with Natalie Koussa, a trauma-sensitive visibility coach and podcast guesting strategist who supports high-integrity entrepreneurs to bring their work into the world in a bigger way.
Traci and Natalie explore how Leadership Designs (a trauma-aware way of understanding how you move through the world, show up, create and lead from your core) can support us to understand our core needs, and the vulnerabilities of letting ourselves be seen, just as we are.
This episode will be a balm for you if you’re feeling the call to show up in your life in a bigger, more true-to-you way. Listen in, and let yourself come home to yourself.
Episode Timeline[00:09] Intro [00:57] Meet Natalie[3:43] What it means to be seen, just as you are[5:53] The role of relationships in helping us fully step into what we’re here for [10:00] The experience of living in a country that’s not your own[11:22] Natalie’s decision to leave her non-profit career [13:58] The impact of the sudden loss of a colleague[19:10] The impact of trauma on how able we are to let ourselves be seen[26:40] The Leadership Designs as a way of understanding your core needs[29:30] Traci sharing her experience as a Visionary (her Leadership Design profile)[31:21] The characteristics of a Visionary[34:35] How can you invite in validation? (The Visionary’s core need)[35:29] Experiences of the Sidewalk Talk volunteers[37:19] The Nurturer Leadership Design profile[38:55] Understanding what we have to offer, just as we are[44:29] Closing[45:45] OutroResources Mentioned
The Leadership Designs Assessment
Standout Quotes“I want people to be seen just as they are, and I want them to feel safe in doing so.” (Natalie)“My intention is always that the people that I touch through my work feel closer to themselves than they did before.” (Natalie) “This is kind of a constant, coming home to ourselves and learning ourselves and being with ourselves, including the bits of ourselves that we really don't want to be with.” (Natalie)“I think good relationships, wholesome relationships are about holding each other in our wholeness.” (Natalie)“(It’s) about supporting people to reconnect with themselves in such a way that they're able to connect with others.” (Natalie)“I think what I'm pissed off about is that even in the personal growth space, there is this mould of the ideal person, and there's also this mould of the ideal growth person. And this idea that growing happens in this one particular way.” (Traci)“I think it's about really intentionally understanding what it is that we do offer when we are ourselves. So not trying to become a louder version or a shinier version, but what do we offer just as we are?” (Natalie)“I love people and I love people's complexity.” (Traci) Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Natalie Koussa
At www.uncommon-people.com
On Instagram: @nataliekoussa_
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The 3 Flows of Compassion with Dr. Stan Steindl
20 Sep 2022· Sidewalk Talk
Dr. Stan Steindl brings a fresh take to compassion in this week’s Sidewalk Talk conversation. Stan’s a clinical psychologist with over 20 years experience as a therapist, trainer and researcher, and he’s also an adjunct associate professor at the School of Psychology at the University of Queensland, Australia. Last year, Stan published his first book: The Gifts of Compassion.
Stan and Traci explore the 3 flows of compassion, bringing a new light to a timeless topic. If you’ve ever been curious about what compassion truly is, how to cultivate more of it in your life, and why it can be so damn tricky to receive… Stan brings some fascinating ideas and practical ways of incorporating compassion into your daily life.
Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Dr Stan Steindl
At www.stansteindl.com/
On Youtube
On Instagram: @dr_stan_steindl
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Living and breathing the archetypal realm with Kristina Dryza
9 Sep 2022· Sidewalk Talk
Traci and Kristina share a deep and rich conversation, in which Traci asks the kind of big questions Kristina thrives on. Questions like…
what is the psyche, and what is the soul?what's the point of Greek mythology and how can it be meaningful?
You’ll leave this episode with a renewed sense of wonder, and a deeper understanding of how archetypes can help us access wisdom and creative energy beyond the confines of our rational mind.
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Getting weird and vulnerable with Aziph Mustapha | Aziph Mustapha
17 Aug 2021· Sidewalk Talk
Aziph Mustapha is a weirdo. As the head of culture transformation and employee engagement at Malaysian telecommunications giant, Celcom, Aziph has built a career on disrupting social norms. But being weird isn’t just good business, for Aziph it’s the only authentic way to live.
On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci gets to talk with—and really, make space for—Aziph as the two discuss creating psychological safety in the workplace, what it means to be a weirdo in a formal culture, and the importance of vulnerability and authenticity. As their conversation progresses, Aziph gets real with Traci, sharing that he’s struggling to process a number of the tragedies happening in the world right now, including the latest Israeli-Palestinian conflict and the COVID-19 pandemic. Traci thanks Aziph for his willingness to share, and together the two embark upon a time of listening and making space for the other. This is a powerful exchange between two great listeners that you won’t want to miss.
Episode Milestones
[00:07] Intro
[03:02] Meet Aziph
[06:15] What Aziph makes for breakfast and dinner in Malaysia
[09:08] Creating psychology safety and cultural transformation in the workplace
[14:19] Aziph’s vision for Celcom
[20:46] Being a weirdo in a formal culture
[25:31] Discerning when to be contrarian versus when to go along with social norms
[30:07] Volunteering, community, and providing space for one another
[37:38] Aziph’s willingness to be vulnerable and authentic
[44:42] Aziph’s word for you
[47:04] Outro
Resources Mentioned
Ted Talk: To Be the Best, Be a Weirdo
Celcom
Standout Quotes from the Episode
“Every person or group we touch with our business we consider a distinct society, and our job is to advance them in one way or another.” —Aziph Mustapha
“Sometimes you need to make those conscious efforts to change even simple things, like language, simple terms people use to humanize that relationship.”—Aziph Mustapha
“Success gives you confidence.”—Aziph Mustapha
“You need to grasp on something, you need to have a bit of control in this vast, chaotic storm.” —Aziph Mustapha
“Maybe these human beings just talking to each other could help in small way.”—Aziph Mustapha
“People need to be listened to, and there’s just not enough people willing to listen to them in the world.” —Aziph Mustapha
Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Aziph Mustapha
On LinkedIn: @AziphMustapha
On Twitter: @aziph_mustapha
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Anna Katharina Schaffner on the timeless truths of self-improvement | Anna Katharina Schaffner
10 Aug 2021· Sidewalk Talk
Restless in the often too structured world of academia, Anna Katharina Schaffner carved her own path as a professor, researcher, writer, coach, and modern thinker. In her forthcoming book, The Art of Self-Improvement: Ten Timeless Truths, Anna sets out to shift the way we think about self-help and how to better ourselves by taking cues from our ancestors’ ways of thinking and living that still remain true today. Traci was thrilled to sit down with Anna for this latest episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast to chat all about Anna’s new book, how metaphor shapes our human experience, and where to find the soul in today’s culture of human as computer.
As the two talk, they make discoveries about the benefits of growing as a collective versus as an individual, explore the concept of loneliness, and talk about mutual messy interactions they’ve had in the past. Towards the end of the episode Anna shares a few of the “timeless truths” from her new book, including the truths of controlling your mind, using your imagination, and being humble. In a time where we’ve increasingly been told that we simply need to “rewire” our brains in order to function better as humans, Anna and Traci explore a different way of thinking—one that helps us examine the metaphors we use about ourselves, and become more vulnerably human in the process.
Episode Milestones
[00:07] Intro
[02:25] Meet Anna
[06:40] What made Anna restless in academia
[08:41] Provoking to leave a legacy
[12:09] How metaphor shapes our human experience
[16:32] A shift to growing as a collective
[20:28] Learning from Eastern cultures and ways of thinking
[23:39] Where’s the soul?
[26:35] Questions and definitions of loneliness
[29:40] Messy interactions
[33:25] Anna’s discoveries about self-improvement
[37:06] “Timeless truths” of self-improvement
[39:57] Anna’s word for you
[42:15] Outro
Resources Mentioned
Perspectiva
Exhaustion: A History
The Art of Self-Improvement: Ten Timeless Truths
“You’re not a computer, you’re a tiny stone in a beautiful mosaic”
Standout Quotes from the Episode
“I like to take issue with what everyone accepts to be the case. I like to look at ideas that we take for granted, and that we don’t really investigate very much.” —Anna Katharina Schaffner
“I think it’s always very important to have a questioning mind.”—Anna Katharina Schaffner
“The language we use to talk about the psyche is very very telling because it reveals the models of the psyche that we believe in as people, but also as a culture.”—Anna Katharina Schaffner
“This focus on self-actualization and self-realization has begun to sound very tired, and very unsatisfying.”—Anna Katharina Schaffner
“Stories can give a lot of solace.”—Anna Katharina Schaffner
“Self-help reveals our models of selfhood.”—Anna Katharina Schaffner
“Be aware of the kind of language you use to think about yourself, and inner voices, and reflect on it because they will tell you a lot about your deeper values and deeper models.”—Anna Katharina Schaffner
Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | Anna Katharina Schaffner
At AnnaKSchaffner.com
On LinkedIn: @AnnaKatharinaSchaffner
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Street Wisdom’s David Pearl on finding magic in the everyday | David Pearl
3 Aug 2021· Sidewalk Talk
David Pearl is a true Renaissance man. A self-title “experience engineer,” David has done it all—from writing books and starting a nonprofit to advocating for social change and even working as an opera star. Our current reality may seem anything but magical, that’s far from the truth in David’s eyes.
On this episode of The Sidewalk Talk podcast, Traci gets the chance to sit down with one of her new favorite European friends to talk about his nonprofit Street Wisdom, doing soul-work in the paradox of the here and now, and why simplicity is at the heart of what David and Traci are both doing with Street Wisdom and Sidewalk Talk. This is a playful and fun conversation between two people with an urgency to see our society, and the world at large, become a more inclusive, and magical, place. Come along for the ride and discover your own version of magic, today!
Episode Milestones
[00:07] Intro
[03:34] Meet David
[11:09] David’s time on the street and what it taught him
[15:00] Street Wisdom and serendipity
[19:37] Making connections with perfect strangers on the street
[23:30] How Street Wisdom is finding its future
[27:42] Finding the magic in the everyday
[35:25] Play and breaking the rules
[39:23] Doing work in the paradox
[45:14] The urgency to grow Street Wisdom and Sidewalk Talk
[47:25] Embodied intelligence
[49:40] Simplicity and a shared sense of being seen
[57:49] David’s word and song for you
[1:03:02] Outro
Resources Mentioned
Street Wisdom
Wanderful: Find wonder in the every day. Every day.
Standout Quotes from the Episode
“For me, the brushes I had with mental breakdown were the wellspring of why I’m here today.” —David Pearl
“Serendipity is only surprising if you think you’re a separate human being who ends at your skin.”—David Pearl
“How could you be the perfect stranger for those strangers?” —David Pearl
“As soon as we take the problems to be real, they become heavy and difficult to move.”—David Pearl
“People don’t always see the work behind the apparent spontaneity.” —David Pearl
“The wandering is the new straight and narrow. When the world is as wobbly as ours, you’d have to be nuts to go in a straight line—you’d end up in the wrong place.”—David Pearl
“The way we change things is through a million simple things.”—David Pearl
“If you’re prepared to see the magic in the ordinary you can have a conversation, you can have a dialogue. And we need a dialogue because the one inside your head isn’t great.”—David Pearl
“There’s a certain urgency, and yet we can enjoy everything that happens.”—David Pearl
“Being lost and feeling lost are not the same thing.”—David Pearl
Connect:
Find | Sidewalk Talk Podcast
At sidewalk-talk.org
On Instagram: @sidewalktalkorg
On Twitter: @sidewalktalkorg
Find | Traci Ruble
At Traciruble.com
On Instagram: @TraciRubleMFT
On Twitter: @TraciRubleMFT
On Facebook: @TraciRubleMFT
Find | David Pearl
At DavidPearl.net
On Twitter: @DavidPearlHere
On LinkedIn: David Pearl
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