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In the words of Tom Cochrane (who?!) "Life is a Highway - I wanna ride it all night long". And in keeping with this theme and my motto of living life with curiosity, hope and humour - in this episode I'm shining a light on a healing modality that is gaining traction when it comes to resolving trauma.
Body-Centred psychotherapist Briony Pilkington and I first met about 18 months ago when I sought to further my quest to become more whole and less held back by forces such as will power (or a lack of), distraction (an oversupply of), lack of impulse control and self sabotage.
It led me to Briony and a journey of discovery into how trauma (outside but not excluding shock and major trauma) can lie lurking deep within our somas (bodies) for decades, and hamper our best efforts and intentions to live full and productive lives - both professionally and personally.
This episode is part 1 of a 2 part interview I did with Briony. In this episode we unpack the modality and Briony's training and experience in the field.
In the episode that will follow - we will explore our client/practitioner journey together - so that people can get up close and personal with what it actually looks (and feels) like to embark on a body-centred healing pathway.
I hope you enjoy this conversation.
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Hello Lovelies. Full transparency - I don’t know whether this is a newsletter or a podcast or a combo-fiasco of both. But in the spirit of curiosity and sometimes leaping before I look…
On the eve of the 2024 Oscars - it's been a busy cinematic leadup to the red carpet rollout for tomorrow's glittering (politically charged no doubt) event.
With the internet a-buzz with terms such as 'Oscar-bation', 'Vanity Projects', 'Award-whoring' and more - it will be an awards ceremony awash with more controversy than ever before.
More controversy, more botox, more diversity, more glitter and - of course - more great films (and some....well...)
As you get ready to pop your corn, and dust off your diamonds in preparation for the event - Megs and I have been busy in recent weeks (months even) dragging ourselves to the cinema (and the couch in some instances) to view all the nominated films in the Best Picture Category.
As Mark Antony in Shakespear's Julius Caesar said 'lend me your ears'.
Well - lend us your ears and we'll give you a round up of all to look out for for Oscars 2024. What we think will win, what we think should win, and what we think should have been left on the cutting room floor.
Thanks for being part of my tribe. Your continued support is so appreciated on this journey of life, love and general craziness.
Mwah!! Nathy G
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Fehlende Folgen?
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If you identify as a procrastinator - chances are you beat yourself up about the fact. You might feel like you lack self discipline, willpower, focus - and any number of other personality traits that our determined, tenacious, productive, get s**t done type friends possess.
Well despair no more, because in today's small talk episode I share a revelation that came to me courtesy of The Huberman Lab. In this episode Andrew (Hottie) Huberman talks to super habit genius Professor Adam Grant about the fact that not all procrastination is equal.
It's true - if you live in denial about s**t that needs to get done and just blatantly ignore doing things until the last minute - you do indeed fall into the procrastinator pot.
But for the others out there - who (like me) put off getting started - while they mull over, muse, brainstorm, mentally massage their ideas/problems/projects and tasks - you could be what is called the 'Delayer'. And it may just be - that your end game is one that is more creative, allows for more innovative solutions and a more expansive approach to problem solving and decision making.
It is a fascinating episode - all 3 hours of it, so if you want the small popcorn mini meal version - I've taken the highlights and squeezed them in here.
If you haven't seen Tim Urban's TED Talk on Procrastination - STOP PROCRASTINATING - and watch it now. It's bloody funny.
Tim Urbanhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arj7oStGLkU
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Are you prone to the odd bout of procrastination? In this episode of Suck it and See, Nathy shares her (many) dances with the Procrastination Devil, and uncovers some interesting reasons why some people put s**t off more than others…and what you might be able to do about it.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nathygaffney.substack.com -
It's been an eventful week. I've had a tree die and crash through my window and witnessed a woman nearly drown in front of me. It's got me pretty agitated, so I figured now would be as good a time as any - to embark on an experiment to quell my relentless need for distraction. The agitation that goes along with not being good at focusing for long periods can cause huge dips in productivity - and now that I'm running my own business - and have no boss to answer to - the only person who suffers if yours truly isn't working efficiently - is - well - yours truly.
Enter: The Art Challenge. A 3 hour exercise in focus and patience - pioneered by art historian Jennifer Roberts. One piece of art. 3 hours. No phones. No laptops. No friends. Just you, a notebook and pen - and the art of your choice. How hard could it be? Right?? Right?? hmmmm....
So - having committed to meeting a friend at the art gallery who would help me choose a painting for the 3 hour art challenge - I knew there was no backing out.
Happy to report - I made it to the full 3 hours. Was it uncomfortable? Hell yes. Did I learn anything? Oh yeah baby. It was a fascinating experiment and one I highly recommend (if you can find 3 hours to spare). If you can't even begin to think of finding 3 hours to stare at a piece of art - well - the next 30 minutes will give you the next best experience. :D
https://inews.co.uk/inews-lifestyle/wellbeing/wellbeing-oliver-burkeman-patience-four-thousands-weeks-book-1168413
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nathygaffney.substack.com -
After a several month long haitus - I'm delighted to be back at the microphone. To kick off 2024 and my renewed and reinvigorated committment to 'Suck It & See with Nathy G' - I've lured my podcasting bestie and regular guest, the witty, wise and wonderful Meaghan Archunde into the chair, to review this season's most talked about and TikTok'd film - Saltburn.
For all of you who have seen it - 'Murder on the Dancefloor' will never be the same again - of that there is no doubt. But is 'Saltburn' Gen Z's Talented Mr Ripley? Or is it sooooooo much more?
So great to be back, and if you are here with me - welcome and thankyou for your support. Your loyalty will be rewarded fortnightly from now on in. Mwah!!!
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nathygaffney.substack.com -
Uncertainty - not knowing or being able to control the outcomes of situations (or life in general) can really mess with some people's heads.
The reality is - we can never be certain what's going to happen, and coming to a place of acceptance and peace with that fact can reap us rewards that we can't even foresee. Wayne Dyer famoulsy said 'Noone knows enough to be a pessimist', and yet we spin our wheels and overload our fragile nervous systems fretting about things - that we feel certain about - but that often turn out completely differently.
Like the guy who had a cancer diagnosis. His whole life with his wife and young family - was plunged into uncertainty and trauma. He coudn't possibly see what was around the corner. He did what most people do in these positions - got laser focused on his priorities - his family and his health, and made massive changes. 3 weeks later - they cancelled his cancer! That's right - 'sorry buddy, we got it wrong - that thing we saw in your scan? Turns out someone breathed on the film' (Hey that's not what actually happened!) The piont is - it was only when his whole existence was plunged into uncertainty - that he went on to make some really good choices about his life!!
What if we could reframe the way we look at and deal with life's uncertainties? See them as gifts and opportunities? What then?
https://www.amazon.com/Curious-Discover-Missing-Ingredient-Fulfilling/dp/0061661198Link to my new 'Substack Space' Coming soon!
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nathygaffney.substack.com -
How can you tell the difference between intuition and paranoia? I'm sure I've been both at various times and occasionally one has probably masqueraded as the other. Sound familiar?
Well it turns out there is a difference and in today's super short small talk episode - I explore the differences - and the perils of ingnoring your intuition.
If you're interested in knowing more about the difference between intuition and paranoia - I found this article to be super helpful:
https://www.womenshealth.com.au/an-energy-expert-explains-how-to-tell-the-difference-between-intuition-and-paranoia/#:~:text=Intuition%20is%20an%20inner%20'knowing,from%20a%20place%20of%20fear.
And if you're interested in developing and growing your intuition into a part of your inner counsel that you can tune in to, listen to and trust - there are some great strategies in this article right here:
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-strengthen-your-intuition
Thanks for supporting the Suck it & See podcast. If you'd like to be notified every time a new episode drops - just hit follow or subscribe. Ciao ciao for now lovelies and see you next time. Mwah XXX
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The doom and gloom of 'the change' in a woman's life is EVERYWHERE (okay. maybe it's just the algorhythms are just picking up on my age, but it does feel like overkill!)
Whilst I fully embrace the need for far more information and easy access to the appropriate support and care required to navigate this stage of life that every woman will experience - what I have noticed is that the vast majority of information targeting women talks about the negative health impacts, the parts of our life and womanhood that are dying, drying up (or the case of hot flashes) frying up!
I also believe we have an opportunity to craft a narrative around this 'transition' into women's next stage of life, with far more optimism, empowerment and joy. Let's face it - if you're a woman in your 50's - just to have been born in this day and age - means you have so much more opportunity to have a say in how your life plays out.
Don't complain about becoming invisible - become visible. Claim this time in your life when you can craft a narrative, and present a story that contributes to a legacy that our daughters can claim as something to embrace when it's their turn, rather than something to be afraid of.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nathygaffney.substack.com -
As a card carrying procrastinator, one of my favourite things to do is to research why I procrastinate, instead of doing all the things I know I should be doing. It has a dual advantage: not only do I get to delay doing the thing that I'm feeling discomfort and apprehension around, I also get to kid myself that I'm actually doing something productive, and therefore am justified in putting off tackling said annoying or uncomfortable task.
Don't you love how humans can absolutely kid themselves into believing almost anything?!
However, in the case of this episode of the podcast, it seems that I've managed to create something productive (a podcast episode) out of an activity (researching procrastination), that I was doing to avoid doing something uncomfortable that I was putting off (recording a podcast episode). See what I did there? Frikkin genius!!!
But all self-congratulation aside, I have been working with a really cool productivity hack - the Pomodoro Technique - that is definitely helping me to tackle tasks. So in today's episode I share how it might work for you. https://todoist.com/productivity-methods/pomodoro-technique
I also talk about a topic that is rapidly growing in interest for me - and that is the disregulation of the nervous system. So I also share a snippet of what I'm discovering in that space and how it relates to procrastination.
Finally - I mention a brain function called 'Focus and Diffuse' - which relates to how we learn and retain information - really cool stuff.
https://barbaraoakley.com/books/learn-like-a-pro/ Dr Barbara Oakley is a guru in this space. Check out her book 'Learn Like a Pro'.
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In this super short episode I share why I've been quiet these past few months and share the output of my monk-like period of contemplation. Apart from changing the cover of the podcast (hope you like me sans showgirl wig!!) - I've decided to bravely go forth into the gig economy, forgoing the safety and security of a guarunteed monthly paycheck and launch myself into coaching entrepreneurs-ville. Will she stumble (likely), will she fall (if she stumbles - probably), will she give it a red hot shake (absolutely) and will she eat up the experience like a kid in a cake shop (definitely).
It's an exciting time to be Nathy, and I hope you join me as I make 2023 the best year yet on my dance card!
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There's no hiding it - I've been absent for a few months. Ironically - in the midst of Season 3 - which was dubbed 'The Confidence Season' - I lost my confidence and hid in a cupboard for several weeks. Occasionally peeking out and looking at the lonely microphone, but just unable to commit myself to speaking out loud and putting it out there.
For those who walk amongst us seeking to grow and develop as people (isn't that everybody? Apparently not I've recently been informed, so I had to make the distinction), building confidence is part of that human development journey. But whether you want to become a more confident speaker, a more confident cook, or a more confident lover - there will be times when you stand on the platform with your ticket for the Confidence Train in your hand - and when it pulls into the station - for reasons unknown, you find yourself pocketing the ticket and saying 'not today'.
Anyway, that's been me - boohoo! Poor little snowflake Nathy isn't sure if what she's doing is good enough to be out here in the podcast playground with all the other impressive pod-people.
The good news is - I picked up Mark Manson's book 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k' https://www.amazon.com.au/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713 and slapped myself round the head with it - particularly the chapter about not being special. If you haven't read this book, and you're interested in growth - I highly recommend. Anyway - I'm not that special (according to Mark Manson - although he's never met me, so I still have that ace in the hole), so I can just put out whatever the f**k I like and say whatever the f**k I like and noone will care. I suddenly feel free. If you've been struggling with any of the above - my darlings - this episode is for you! Mwah!!!
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We all have a resident 'mean girl' right? That b***h that lives inside our head and loves to tear us down when we're trying really hard. Yup - the Inner Critic is a massive confidence crusher!. In this super speedy bite size episode I share 5 tips to help calm that b***h down!
For further reading on the topic and to explore the 5 elements in greater depth, here is a link to an article written by actual psychologists (so you know I'm not making it all up!!!)
https://positivepsychology.com/self-compassion-5-steps/
Ciao Ciao for now lovelies! Mwah!! XXX
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"Comparison is the thief of joy" - Thanks Theodore Roosevelt - ain't it the truth! We all know the epidemic of Comparisons on social media, compounded by filters to make you look younger, thinner, more tanned, more taught - but what it really results in, is a massive decline in the agency over our own journeys through this sweet and sometimes challenging life. By comparing ourselves to others - whether it's looks, jobs, houses, cars, income or lifestyle - we are swimming in other people's lanes. But not only is comparison the thief of joy, it's also a massive underminer of confidence.
Learn from observing and studying others for sure (to be clear, don't be coming to me if you ever want to get a tennis ball over the net), but boo'hooing cos you'll never beat Serena Williams at Wimbledon is just asking for trouble if you want to become a better tennis player. It will set you up to feel hopeless and overwhelmed and never quite good enough.
Comparison is a major Confidence Crusher. Be aware of when you fall prey to it and and repeat this mantra 'stay in your own f*****g lane'!
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nathygaffney.substack.com -
Think about how excited you get (Scale of 1 - 10. 10 being 'I'm about to go off like a fire cracker', and 1 being "I'd rather stick hot needles in my eyes'), when someone suggests you go roller skating, or get up on a dance floor, or speak in front of other people. Your score will largely be determined by how confident you are in partaking (successfully) in this activity.
If you know you can deliver a roller disco worthy performance, bust out some serious moves, or nail a TED Talk - your score is likely to be high. If however, you're neither confident nor competent in these areas, not only will you be filled with apprehension, self doubt and perhaps dread, but you are also likely to want to avoid these activities at all costs.
The irony of course is that if you want to develop your confidence in any area of your life, you're going to have to fall on your ass, mess up some steps and fudge your lines in the quest to develop mastery in anything!
But we're human right - and as humans, our default position is to avoid pain and discomfort (and public humiliation and ridicule). So how can we challenge ourselves to lean into the areas of our lives where our skills are wanting.
In today's episode of Season 3 -the Confidence Season - I share the benefits of increasing your levels of curiosity as a great pathway towards building confidence.
Curious? Check out the episode.
Todd Kashdan has been researching the power of curiosity in amplifying our fulfillment in life for over 20 years (he's a curious guy!!) His book is definitely worth a read.
https://www.amazon.com.au/Curious-Discover-Missing-Ingredient-Fulfilling/dp/0061661198
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In this episode - I'm exploring one of the things that can actually undermine and crush our confidence - even when we're not looking!
Be on the lookout for 'Crazy Makers'. I first read about these people about 25 years ago in a book by Julia Cameron, called "The Artists Way". https://juliacameronlive.com/the-artists-way/ (get her book or courses here if you're up for more from her).
Julia describes Crazy Makers as "people who thwart the creativity of those they purportedly love". Heavy s**t right? And while in her book she focuses on Crazy Makers in the context of the artist's life, let me tell you, Crazy Makers aren't just hanging out in painters and potters studios. They are literally everywhere and can be anyone... and you don't need to be an artist to be impacted by them.
So today I'm sharing about who these people are, where and why they turn up in our lives, how to spot them, why sometimes we're even drawn to them to our own detriment, and some simple steps to take to short circuit the damage they can do to your confidence.
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nathygaffney.substack.com -
**Spoiler Alert**
In this bonus episode, Nathy & Megs lift the lid on Tom Cruise's return to the role of Maverick. Join them in the cockpit as they review the long awaited and highly anticipated Top Gun sequel.
After a brief sidetrack to wrap up Johnny Depp's recent win over Amber Heard and his celebratory $87 000 Indian dinner, we head out into the danger zone where Tom returns to the role of Maverick and tackles a new team of 'Top' Guns. Goose has defied genetics and given birth to a Rooster, but we can be assured of the lineage, because he plays the piano whilst wearing a cheap Hawaiian shirt. There's tension in the air to be sure, but none to match the sexual tension between Tom and Jennifer Connoly as they attempt to look like they still have the hots for each other - after all these years. There's plenty of shirts off action as the cast returns to the beach, oiled up and playing with not one, but two balls - both of them Tom's - as he reimagines the game of football, as only Tom can.
There is a mission - not sure who it's against, but they're super bad and only Tom and his merry band of freshly squeezed Top Gun recruits can save the day!
Buckle up, grab a martini and settle in for Top Gun Maverick Mayhem!
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nathygaffney.substack.com -
There are so many quotes and sayings that relate to success right? 'Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration'. How about 'It always seems impossible, until it's done'. And then 'A bend in the road isn't the end of the road, unless you fail to make the turn'.
I could go on - and on. But all of these quotes (there's one above by Nelson Mandela, and another by Helen Keller) are by people who dug deep and did the uncomfortable thing - in order to get to a better place.
And what does any of that have to do with confidence? Well at the heart of it all is a commitment to (here's another one) 'just keep showing up'.
In th isepsiode of the Confidence season, we put another great C-Word under the spotlight - Consistency. It's a small (cos sometimes the steps ARE small) act of committing to being uncomfortable over and over again in the quest of gaining more confidence.
You see - and absence of confidence, simply means that fear is present. Fear is currently taking up valuable real estate where you want Confidence to be. Many people mistakenly think that once they 'feel more confident' - then they can (or will) take action. Well I hate to burst your bubble - but it just doesn't work that way. In fact - i's the other way round.
Consistency is the key. Showing up time and time again - in the face of discomfort is the best and most assured way of gaining confidence.
Let's talk about why, and how you can do it for yourself!
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nathygaffney.substack.com -
Welcome to Season 3 lovelies. They say good things come in 3's (or is it bad things? - never mind). I'm excited to be back at the microphone with a bonafide 'theme' for Season 3 - and that is 'Confidence'.
This season we're going to dissect this personality trait and look at it from every possible angle. Where it comes from. Why it's important. Can you have too much of it? Was she really 'born with it'? The things that make it, shake it and break it.
Each episode throughout the season will explore a different element of Confidence. Today we kick off with 'Context'. 10 out of 10 people who attend the workshops I run, say they want to 'feel more confident' at the end of the session. But what does that actually mean?
So let's start by exploring the fact that somewhere in your life - even if you don't feel it - you already have confidence in spades. The trick is to find out where. Once you do - you've already got a head start on this journey!
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nathygaffney.substack.com -
Yes it's been a long time between drinks, and I thank you lovely listeners who have been waiting patiently for me to get my s**t together and sit back down at the microphone.
We all know life gets in the way sometimes eh? Well my life is no exception. It just barges in and demands s**t of me that quite frankly I could do without having to deal with, but it just needs doing.
I've put my little season hiatus to good work though and have come up with a theme for Season 3. Another fabulous 'C' Word. A little less controversial that the previous C word me and Megs got amongst (Season 3 Episode 5 if you missed it - highly recommend) - this season's word is 'Confidence'. I'm going to put that C word under the microscope and explore it from all angles. Where it comes from, how tough it is to find it sometimes and how easy it can be to lose it. We'll look at how to build it, make it and fake it, and what to look out for when others try to crush it. I've got some great guests lined up who'll share thier own journey's in the quest for it and just generally have a good time!
I'm back and I'm happy about it - I hope you are too!! Mwah! XXX
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nathygaffney.substack.com - Mehr anzeigen
