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This was supposed to be a well-thought-out, polished interview with artist and author Carissa Potter, better known as @peopleiveloved on Instagram. Instead, this turned out to be a vulnerable conversation about parents, religion, narcissism, and overall, our human-ness.
Our guest today, or perhaps more accurately our co-host Carissa has over 800,000 followers on social media but the first sentence on her website says that “Carissa Potter is a human longing for connection.” She writes books, makes art & public commissions, and hosts the series Bad At Keeping Secrets (one of Substack’s featured newsletter of 2022) where she talks to other humans doing really interesting things. Carissa is the founder of People I’ve Loved, her platform and stationary line that bridges the gaps between people by helping them have authentic and sometimes difficult conversations. She was named one of Cosmopolitan’s 24 People (Genuinely) Making the World a Better Place and I couldn’t agree more.
This is an extraordinarily raw and real conversation about...
- why Carissa wishes she had kids earlier in life - the nuances of both of our religious beliefs - what Mary’s father is like - how being chronically late might be a sign of intimacy issues
Remember: humans are complex creatures but at our core, all we want is connection with other humans.
Follow Carissa on Instagram: @peopleiveloved Subscribe to Carissa’s newsletter, Bad At Keeping Secrets: https://peopleiveloved.substack.com
And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @peopleiveloved
Mentioned In This Episode... Narcissistic Abuse: https://www.stopthespincycle.com/narcissistic-abuse
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If you’re going through a difficult time, here are 5 reminders to ground you in self-love.
You will learn...
Where mantras originate from and why they’re helpfulHow to work with your mindset to gain greater perspectiveWhat to tell yourself when you’re going through a hard timeWhich one of these affirmations resonated with you the most? Or do you have your own mantra that you love? Let me know by tagging @maryspodcast in your IG stories!
Get Mary's self-love book + journal:
The Gift of Self-Love: a workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself
*100 Days of Self-Love:* a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are
Mentioned In This Episode... 240 votes TikTok by @imdaven: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTFwo3So6/
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Fehlende Folgen?
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f you have a chronic health condition, then you know how extra difficult it is to navigate food and body-image struggles. Between wellness culture telling you to cut out this or that food and lose weight for “health reasons,” it can be triggering to manage your symptoms without slipping back into a restrictive mindset. And the worst part is, even medical professionals prescribe dietary restrictions without screening patients for a history of disordered eating. So is food freedom possible even while living with chronic illness? Nutritionist Abbie Attwood is here to help.
You will learn...
- how to challenge diet and weight-centric medical advice
- practical tips for finding p eace with your body amidst chronic pain and symptoms
- how to approach food with conditions like PCOS, Celiacs, Chrons, IBS, diabetes, and autoimmune illnesses
Remember: Your body deserves COMPASSION even and especially in the face of chronic health challenges.
Abbie Attwood (she/her) is an anti-diet, weight-inclusive nutritionist with a master's degree in clinical nutrition. She runs Abbie Attwood Wellness, offering virtual nutrition therapy and body image coaching through both individual sessions and group programs. Abbie is also the host of the Full Plate Podcast and writes a companion newsletter.
Abbie’s personal journey with an eating disorder emerged at the intersection of competitive running, neurodivergence, and chronic illnesses. These experiences fuel her passion for working with individuals who don’t always fit the traditional image of disordered eating, offering them a space to feel seen and supported.
Her approach is rooted in self-compassion, social justice, and body liberation. Abbie helps clients worldwide heal from disordered eating, chronic dieting, body shame, and compulsive exercise, guiding them towards a more peaceful and respectful relationship with their bodies.
She splits her time between Maine and the Bay Area, where she lives with her husband and their two quirky rescue dogs. Abbie is a lover of breakfast foods, good books, the ocean, and a scoop of ice cream any time of day.
Follow Abbie on Instagram @abbieattwoodwellness Learn more about Abbie’s group coaching: https://www.abbieattwoodwellness.com/group-coaching
And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @abbieattwoodwellness
Mentioned In This Episode...
The Full Plate Podcast Episode: No, You Can’t "Eat Your Way" To Diabetes With Erin Phillips, RD & Diabetes Specialist
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The common misconception is that feeling your feelings means sitting, sulking, and staying where you are until you feel good enough to move forward.
But there’s a much more effective way to process your feelings. Tune in to learn how + hear how Mary is applying this technique to her own life.
Remember: emotions need motion!
If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media!
And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love:
The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.
Mentioned In This Episode... When God Was a Woman by Merlin Stone
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I feel two paths diverging in my life and I feel drawn to one, but it’s more practical and potentially easier and less expensive to do the other, yet, my heart years for more. How do I know if I’m on the right path?
Tune in to hear Mary’s advice on choosing the right path for you.
Submit your questions: [email protected]
Get Mary’s self-love books:
The Gift of Self-Love, an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.100 Days of Self-Love, a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.Mentioned In This Episode... Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman
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My whole life I have strived to be a “good girl.” But after this conversation with Elise Loehnen, I no longer want to be.
You will learn... - the history behind the 7 deadly sins and how they've been weaponized by the patriarchy- who Mary Magdalene really was and how she got mislabeled as a prostitute - why thinness is the dominant beauty ideal in our current culture - the connection between PRIDE and ENVY - subtle ways women undermine each other
Elise Loehnen is a writer, editor, and podcast host who lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Rob, and their two sons, Max and Sam. She is the host of Pulling the Thread, a podcast focused on pulling apart the stories we tell about who we are—and then putting those threads back together. Ultimately Elise is a seeker and synthesizer, braiding together wisdom traditions, cultural history, and a deep knowledge of healing modalities to unlock new ways to contextualize who we are and why we’re here. She’s also the author of the instant New York Times bestseller On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good (Dial Press/PRH). The book weaves together history, memoir, and cultural criticism to explore the ways patriarchy lands in the bodies of women and embeds itself in our consciousness—and what we then police in ourselves and in each other. Regardless of our religious provenance, the self-denial implicit in each of the Seven Deadly Sins—Sloth, Envy, Pride, Gluttony, Greed, Lust, Anger—reads like a checklist of what it means to be a “good” woman. With awareness, we can begin to recognize these patterns of self-restriction, break the story, and move ourselves and each other toward freedom and balance.
Follow Elise on Instagram: @eliseloehnen Get Elise’s book, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good
And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @eliseloehnen
Mentioned In This Episode... Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb
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Let’s explore what it really means to trust yourself, why it's essential for your well-being, and how it impacts your decisions and relationships. I also share a personal story about my past relationships and how a lack of self-trust played a role.
You will learn...
3 big ways to think about self-trustHow to discern between fear and intuition3 small ways to build self-trust dailyPlus, I give you 2 powerful book recommendations to help you strengthen your self-trust.
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” ~Rumi
If you enjoyed this episode, share and tag @maryspodcast on social media!
Get Mary’s self-love books:
*The Gift of Self-Love,* an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.*100 Days of Self-Love,* a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.Mentioned In This Episode...
Ep. 177: The Power of Slowing Down on Mary’s Cup of Tea PodcastThe Gift of Fear by Gavin De BeckerThe Listening Path by Julia Cameron -
After burning out on exercise during my ED days, 7 years later, I’ve been able to find a much better balance with movement. So let’s talk about HOW I’ve been able to maintain this healthy relationship with exercise– what might help you, what might hurt you, and mindset shifts to make.
You will learn...
how to stay active in a way that’s sustainable, enjoyable, and free of toxic thoughts.what toxic thoughts or behaviors around exercise can look like (and how to spot them in yourself)the 3 phases of healing your relationship with movementmindset shifts to make if you want to stay active without slipping backRemember: Your mental well-being is as important as your physical, and if your priorities were convoluted for so long during those eating disorder days, it’ll take time to come back to a sense of balance. You have time. Take it.
If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media!
And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love:
The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.
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It’s common for wedding vows to mention how one’s partner is their “best friend.” But what does that say about our best friends who we’re not married to? And does this put too much pressure on one person to be everything for you?
Back in 2020, journalist Rhaina Cohen wrote an article for the Atlantic titled “What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?” Not only did this piece go viral, it also paved the way Rhaina Cohen’s book, the Other Significant Others about reimagining the role of friendships in our lives.
Today Rhaina joins us to discuss… - how/ why prioritizing platonic friendships actually makes your romantic relationship better - the historical role that friends and marriages used to play and how that’s changed over time - tips for taking your friendships from surface-level to depth
Relationships come in many different forms. Some are platonic, some are romantic, some blur the lines of both. As we grapple with what’s been declared as a loneliness epidemic, we must revere all types of relationships and give them the attention they deserve.
Follow Rhaina on Instagram: @rhainacohen Get Rhaina’s book, The Other Significant Others:
Rhaina Cohen is a long-form journalist, author of the bestselling book The Other Significant Others, and producer and editor for NPR’s Embedded. Outside of NPR, she’s written for various publications, including The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post, and The New Republic. Rhaina Cohen has a B.A. in American Studies from Northwestern University and an MPhil in Comparative Social Policy from Oxford, where she was a Marshall Scholar and did research in Denmark and Iceland on paternity leave policies. She has given talks at NASA and at universities in the U.S., U.K., and Ireland and lucky for you, on the Mary’s Cup of Tea Podcast!
If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @rhainacohen
JOIN THE PORTUGAL SELF-LOVE RETREAT: https://maryscupoftea.com/portugal-retreat
Mentioned In This Episode... The Moth conversation cardsAtlantic article “What If Friendship, Not Marriage, Was at the Center of Life?”
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We are starting a new series on Mary’s Cup of Tea! “Dear Mary” is your new self-love advice column where Mary answers YOUR questions.
Question: “I’ve been second guessing myself so much and feeling my confidence and self-belief waver. How do I come back to feeling in my full power?”
Answer: tune in to hear Mary’s advice on how to get your confidence back.
Submit your questions: [email protected]
If you like “Dear Mary,” please let us know by leaving a comment or review!
Mentioned In This Episode... Mary's book, The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. It’s a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
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The biggest mistake people make with self-love is explained this episode. We talk about how a scarcity mindset is emblematic of low self-worth and why we must be PROACTIVE when it comes to self-love.
You will learn how to...
Identify scarcity thinking in your daily lifeUnderstand the societal roots of scarcity mentalityPractice proactive self-care to avoid burnoutRemember: Take care of yourself in small ways before you burn out in a big way.
If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And please consider leaving a review/ rating of the show!
Links to Mary's self-love book and journal:
The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.
Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 150 with Dr. Anita Johnston: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marys-cup-of-tea-the-self-love-podcast-for-women/id1495128359?i=1000597710471
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You are extraordinary– here’s why.
Mary talks about…
the dual meaning behind the world “extraordinary”why we should stop trying to be extraordinaryhow to be a more interesting personIf you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media!
Sign up for Mary’s newsletter for more self-love musings: https://maryscupoftea.myflodesk.com/emails
And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love:
The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. -
Mary’s hot take on why “being happy” is not that great of a goal. Chasing happiness can leave you feeling empty because happiness is a fleeting state.
You will learn about... - why searching for happiness is NOT good for body-image - how hedonic adaptation gets in the way of our happiness, no matter how much we achieve or accomplish in life - what to focus on instead of “being happy”
Remember: Happiness is fleeting. Meaning is fulfilling. Ditch the happiness treadmill and start creating more meaning in your everyday life.
If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media! And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love:
- The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
- 100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. Mentioned In This Episode... Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl: https://amzn.to/3gdszZN The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson: https://amzn.to/3uH7fzO
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This is a wide-ranging conversation with my friend Jessi Jean, a binge eating and mindset coach.
You will hear about... - how to navigate health concerns without diet culture - what to do if you want kids, but feel anxious about pregnancy/ birth - how motherhood can change you for the better - tips for creating a vision board and setting intentions - the key to creating lasting behavior change and achieving your goals - advice for feeling lost, paving your own way, and getting unstuck
Remember: don’t get caught in the trap of constantly contemplating. No one has life completely figured out, but doing the best you can with what you have is better than waiting for the answers to appear out of nowhere.
Follow Jessi on Instagram: @jessijeannn Learn more about Jessi's Food Freedom Online Program here: https://jessijean.com/foodfreedomonlineprogram
And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @jessijeannn
Mentioned In This Episode... Pure by Anne Geddes (coffee table book with mothers and newborns): https://amzn.to/4eM1hW5 4 Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman: https://amzn.to/3Wa1TxA The War of Art by Steven Pressfield: https://amzn.to/3xA8FmO
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People-pleasing is engrained into so many of us. In attempts to be nice, we neglect our own needs, trading authenticity for approval.
You will learn how to...
be honest with other peoplehow people-pleasing relates to self-trusttips for aligning with your authentic self before making decisionsRemember: don't trade short-term approval for long-term authenticity.
If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media!
And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love:
The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.
Mentioned In This Episode... Getting Real by Susan Campbell: https://amzn.to/4cqguuo Radical Honesty by Brad Blanton, PhD: https://amzn.to/3W4EDRk
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Negative self-talk is a form of lying to yourself. Let’s explore the power of honesty as a gateway to self-love.
You will learn how to...
embody a mindset of radical honestyconquer fears by being truthfulstop absorbing other people’s opinions as factsRemember: You must be real with how you feel so that you can heal.
If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media!
And make sure to get Mary's books two on self-love:
The Gift of Self-Love: https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love. This is a self-love workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.
100 Days of Self-Love: maryscupoftea.com/journal. This is a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.
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Our culture is OBSESSED with female bodies and their appearance making us all “beauty sick.” From constricting clothes to anti-aging skincare products, beauty culture eats up our precious time, money, and energy. This is an eye-opening and deeply-relatable discussion with Dr. Renee Engeln about “beauty sickness,” the disease that plagues so many women (to no fault of their own).
You will learn about... - what the research shows about beauty culture and objectification of women - the performative aspects of femininity - the psychological effects of aging in a beauty-obsessed society - how we can fight off beauty sickness both individually and collectively
Renee Engeln, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Northwestern University, is the author of Beauty Sick: How the Cultural Obsession with Appearance Hurts Girls and Women. Her lab (The Body and Media Lab, a.k.a. “BAM”) conducts research exploring issues surrounding women’s body images, with a particular emphasis on cultural practices that create or enforce the frequently contentious relationship women have with their bodies. The research, which has appeared in numerous academic journals, focuses on Objectification Theory, Fat Talk, and Idealized Media Images. She is regularly interviewed by the New York Times, the Chicago Tribune, BBC, the Huffington Post, and other national media. Her TEDx talk has over 800,000 views on YouTube.
Remember: Though we won’t heal from beauty sickness overnight, we have the power to minimize how much we participate in it.
Get Dr. Renee’s book, Beauty Sick: https://amzn.to/4c67da9 Learn more about Dr. Renee’s Body and Media Lab: http://bodyandmedia.com Watch Dr. Renee’s TEDx Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63XsokRPV_Y
And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @beauty_sick
Mentioned In This Episode... Ep. 18, Mary’s first interview with Dr. Renee: https://open.spotify.com/episode/155JFBTBxSGCCA2UMK12qk?si=gWFYNVAjQxu2S2J8j69Z-w
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What would you pursue regardless of the result? Let’s reflect on how being results-oriented removes the joy of the process. Though sometimes results do come, maybe we’d be happier if we were more immersed in the process itself.
You will learn how to...
Trust your unique process and let go of the need for immediate resultsEmbrace activities that bring joy without a focus on outcomeShift your mindset to find peace in the present momentRemember: "Trust your process, release the result."
If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media!
Sign up for Mary’s monthly newsletter: https://maryscupoftea.myflodesk.com/emails
Learn more about upcoming retreats: https://maryscupoftea.com/retreats
Get Mary’s book, The Gift of Self-Love: https://amzn.to/3yJKYII
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When you find yourself hitting the wall of EXHAUSTION, you could be experiencing burnout. What most people don’t know is that our biological stress cycle is not equipped to deal with our modern-day demands. Luckily, there is a cure for burnout and Amelia Nagoski is here to share it with us.
You will learn...
what causes burnout (and the only CURE for it)how to actually “listen to your body”how the stress cycle worksthe difference between burnout, depression, and self-sabotageRemember: When you think you need more grit, what you actually need is help.
Amelia Nagoski, D.M.A. (it stands for Doctorate of Musical Arts) is the co-author, with her sister Emily, of the New York Times bestselling Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle and the Burnout workbook. Her job is to run around waving her arms and making funny noises and generally doing whatever it takes to help singers get in touch with their internal experience.
Get Amelia and Emily Nagoski’s book, Burnout: https://amzn.to/449tPUC And the Burnout Workbook Audiobook with original songs by Amelia: https://www.amazon.com/Burnout-Workbook-Advice-Exercises-Unlock/dp/B0CD2S9CBF
And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast
Mentioned In This Episode... 5-part series on how to listen to your body: https://www.feministsurvivalproject.com/episodes/episode-58-how-to-listen-to-your-body
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Feeling conflicted can be overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to hold you back. Let’s explore how to cope with conflicting thoughts and emotions across different areas of life, from body image to career decisions, and even current events.
You will learn how to...
navigate conflicting thoughts and feelingsmake decisions more confidentlymake peace with all the different parts of youRemember: "The whole is greater than the sum of its parts." ~ Aristotle
Interested in Mary’s next self-love retreat? Go to maryscupoftea.com/retreats to be the first to get all the details!
If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and tag @maryspodcast on social media so we can see who’s listening!
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