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"My child will punch and kick during a meltdown and it feels like I can't give them any support. What can I do to help them when they get this way?"
In this episode, we talk about CALMY RIDING THE WAVE.
When your kid is in meltdown mode and throwing punches and kicks, we need to do our best to maintain our cool at all costs.
Itâs not just about keeping everyone safe, but also about modeling calm behavior. It may help to say a mantra like, âWeâre going to get through this. Theyâre just having a hard time.â
We need to remember that our kids look to us for cues on how to handle their BIG emotions. If we can model regulation, itâs almost as if we lend them our calm through co-regulation.
It can take time, so try not to rush the process. Itâs so easy to get wrapped up in their storm, but we know that reacting strongly will just escalate the situation.
While giving them space, we recommend staying close by and offering support. Even though it may not feel that way, your presence is reassuring and will help them move through their feelings.
You may want to try opening your arms for a hug to show them that youâre there for them and arenât afraid of their big emotions. This can be a SUCH powerful way to let them know that youâre there to support them⌠no matter what.
Itâs not always easy, but letâs do our best to CALMY RIDE THE WAVE. All waves come down eventually. They just need time.
â¨Looking for more support? Come grow with us in The Happy Human Collective, our education and support community.
â Explore our growing library of self-paced workshops, live virtual meetups, and group chat threads free for 7 days! Tap here to learn more.
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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âItâs been hard for me and my partner to get on the same page with the kids. We have different ideas on boundaries and discipline, and it's been causing a lot of tension between us. What can we do?â
In this episode, we dig into the tip of: LEADING WITH VALIDATION.
Understanding and acknowledging each otherâs feelings and beliefs will always be the first step in finding common ground. Before we can even think about achieving a compromise, we first need to feel seen, heard, and validated.
To do this, we recommend setting aside dedicated time to give your partner space to share what they're thinking without ANY judgment. For us⌠this takes the form of a weekly 30-minute âteam meetingâ where we discuss the issues that we tend to avoid.
Though weâre not perfect at making sure it happens each week, itâs become a somewhat regular âcheck-inâ thatâs been helping us better align with and understand each other.
Although itâs easy to feel defensive (or even attacked) during these kinds of talks, just know that expressing defensiveness will only push your partner farther away. Itâs a challenge, but we need to do our best to avoid those kinds of reactions, and instead, focus on being an active listener who understands and empathizes.
LEADING WITH VALIDATION will open the door to compromise. Itâll put you both in a position to co-create boundaries and strategies that work for the TEAM. Remember, the goal is not to win and get your partner over to your side. Itâs all about letting go of control, being flexible, and compromise.
â¨Looking for more support? Come grow with us in The Happy Human Collective, our education and support community.
â Explore our growing library of self-paced workshops, live virtual meetups, and group chat threads free for 7 days! Tap here to learn more.
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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Fehlende Folgen?
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Struggle getting your kids to listen when it's time to get ready for bed?
We hear you! Itâs been a near-nightly struggle for us over the past 12 years with our four kids.
So⌠our big tip⌠LEVERAGE PLAY.
Transforming the bedtime routine into a fun and engaging experience will capture our kids' interest, but more importantly, their cooperation.
As a quick example⌠our toddler loves to pretend that heâs Spider-Man. Climbing the stool to brush his teeth becomes an adventure of scaling a building, or when we move from the bathroom to the bedroom, we have a thrilling web-slinging ride.
If youâre having a hard time tapping into play, let your kids lead! They are the ultimate play gurus, and by letting them take the lead, it just increases their investment in the whole process.
Letâs try to let go of our adult inhibitions surrounding play and join in on the fun! Our kids want to play with us, and we can use the bedtime routine as an opportunity to have some fun together.
â¨Looking for more support? Come grow with us in The Happy Human Collective, our education and support community.
â Explore our growing library of self-paced workshops, live virtual meetups, and group chat threads free for 7 days! Tap here to learn more.
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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If you struggle getting your kids to listen and follow through with even the simplest tasks, then this episode is for you!
It can be SO frustrating to feel like you're being ignored or to be met with constant whining, so in this episode, we discuss strategies to motivate your kids to listen without resorting to threats or nagging.
We start by emphasizing the importance of LEADING WITH CONNECTION.
We should recognize that our kidsâ lack of listening is often a skill deficit, not an act of defiance. They aren't trying to annoy or hurt us, but instead, theyâre likely just preoccupied or arenât on the same timeline as us.
So letâs try to approach these situations as a TEAM. We shouldnât be there just to enforce rules. We should work together to tackle whatever problem there is.
It can be SO helpful to start by involving ourselves in THEIR world before expecting them to involve themselves in ours⌠even if itâs just for a minute.
Sitting with them and showing a genuine interest in what THEYâRE doing can make a huge difference in getting them on board with what WE want them to do.
This kind of connection will open up the pathway for better communication, because when children feel seen, heard, and valued, theyâre going to be more likely to listen.
â¨Looking for more support? Come grow with us in The Happy Human Collective, our education and support community.
â Explore our growing library of self-paced workshops, live virtual meetups, and group chat threads free for 7 days! Tap here to learn more.
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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Have you ever wondered how to handle situations where family members label foods as "good" or "bad" in front of your children?
In this episode, we dig into the following question from our community:
"My mother-in-law is always labeling foods as good or bad in front of our daughter. She came home yesterday telling me that Grammy said, 'All I eat is junk food.' How do we handle this?"
Hereâs our tipâŚ
Empower kids by educating them about the nutritional content of foods.
There's no such thing as inherently "good" or "bad" foods. Instead, it's about understanding the macro and micronutrients that foods provide (or lack).
By emphasizing education over stigmatization, we equip children with the tools they need to develop a healthy relationship with food so they donât fall victim to the diet culture that so many of us were raised in.
â¨Looking for more support? Come grow with us in The Happy Human Collective, our education and support community.
â Explore our growing library of self-paced workshops, live virtual meetups, and group chat threads free for 7 days! Tap here to learn more.
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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Are you struggling with disciplining your children? Do you often find yourself using threats or removal of privileges as a quick fix to stop unwanted behavior?
You're not alone! In this episode, we dive deep into the common parenting problem: "Should I be using removal punishment with my kids, or are there better ways?"
We all know how challenging parenting is, and it's easy to feel like you're running out of tools when your kids misbehave. We often turn to threats or punishments, like taking away toys or screen time, because it seems to be effective in the moment. But is this really the best strategy? Letâs dig in!
â¨Looking for more support? Come grow with us in The Happy Human Collective, our education and support community.
â Explore all of our self-paced workshops, live virtual meetups, and group chat threads free for 7 days! Tap here to learn more.
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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Are you struggling to manage screen time in your household? Wondering how much is too much for your kids?
In this episode, we explore the often asked question, "How much screen time is appropriate for my kids?" and we share our personal experiences and tips on finding the right balance.
The American Academy of Pediatrics provides guidelines and limitations, but like many parents, we often find that screen time can be a valuable tool. Whether itâs bonding over a family movie or using a kid-friendly show to keep them occupied while we handle essential jobs, screens can play an important role in our daily parenting practices.
It's all about setting limits while also being flexible and understanding the needs of your family.
â¨Looking for more support? Come grow with us in The Happy Human Collective, our education and support community.
â Explore all of our self-paced workshops, live virtual meetups, and group chat threads free for 7 days! Tap here to learn more.
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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âIâve heard about helicopter versus free range parenting and Iâm having a hard time finding a balance. How much freedom should we give our kids?â
In this episode, we dig into the world of parenting styles as we discuss helicopter vs. free-range parenting.
If you're struggling to find the right balance of freedom and guidance for your children, this one's for you!
We start off with a quick overview of what helicopter parenting and free-range parenting involve, and then discuss how much freedom is too much. We dive into the challenges of balancing control with independence, and how to tailor your approach to best suit your kid's age and maturity.
Youâll gain practical tips on how to be supportive of your kidâs interests and self-expression without overstepping, learning how to model flexibility, acceptance, and support. Let's dig in!
â¨Looking for more support? Come grow with us in The Happy Human Collective, our education and support community.
â Explore all of our self-paced workshops, live virtual meetups, and group chat threads free for 7 days! Tap here to learn more.
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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In this episode, we dive into a topic that every parent grapples with: kids testing boundaries.
We discuss the challenging moments when our kids push limits and how we should respond to them.
Is constant kindness and support realistic? Should empathy and understanding be unconditional?
We all face those tough parenting moments when our kids are confrontational or are just getting under our skin and it's natural to wonder if we need to maintain a facade of âperfectâ patience and understanding.
Whether youâre a new parent or have been in the trenches for years, we provide insights into managing and understanding our kidâs boundary-testing behaviors. Let's dig in!
â¨Looking for more support? Come grow with us in The Happy Human Collective, our education and support community.
â Explore all of our self-paced workshops, live virtual meetups, and group chat threads free for 7 days! Tap here to learn more.
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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In this "burning question" episode, we remind ourselves that our young children are still in the process of developing a slew of skills, so even though they donât always follow directions immediately, we need to approach these situations with patience and empathy.
We discuss the importance of first connecting with your child, spending a few minutes in their world before expecting them to engage in yours.
Our goal is to move away from traditional fear-based parenting and towards more connection-based parenting. But what does this look like in practice?
We provide actionable tips like breaking tasks down into small, manageable steps, as well as offering choices to tap into their innate need for autonomy and control.
Whether you're struggling to get your child up in the morning or battling the dreaded bedtime resistance, weâre here to help!
â¨Looking for more support? Come grow with us in The Happy Human Collective, our education and support community.
â Explore all of our self-paced workshops, live virtual meetups, and group chat threads free for 7 days!
Tap here to learn more.
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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In this "burning question" episode we talk about how we can ease sibling rivalry and dial up the sharing.
We dig into why being a bit possessive is totally normal and how to gently steer our kids toward more sharing.
We encourage cooperative play (think fun stuff like building forts and playing board games) to build the skills of turn-taking, teamwork, compromise, and flexibility.
Also, we share how we should lead by example (i.e., model the behaviors we want to see) and set clear family expectations around the concept of sharing.
â¨Looking for more support? Come grow with us in The Happy Human Collective, our education and support community.
â Explore all of our self-paced workshops, live virtual meetups, and group chat threads free for 7 days!
Tap here to learn more.
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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In this "burning question" episode we dig into the common (yet challenging) area of preschooler behavior.
If you're struggling with your 3-year-old's emotional rollercoaster, just know⌠you're not alone!
It's totally normal to feel overwhelmed when our little ones are pushing, hitting, or roaring, but our first major takeawayâŚ
Letâs forget the idea that your kid needs âfixingâ... and instead⌠let's focus on how we can adapt their environment to better meet their needs.
We share our own toddlerâs journey at preschool where some simple adjustments transformed his experience and also discuss the power of co-regulation (e.g., offering calming activities and support to guide them through their storms).
â¨Looking for more support? Come grow with us in The Happy Human Collective, our education and support community.
â Explore all of our self-paced workshops, live virtual meetups, and group chat threads free for 7 days!
Tap here to learn more.
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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In this "burning question" episode, we share strategies to nurture your kids' self-esteem.
We discuss how we need to first validate their feelings while promoting a growth mindset that encourages effort and perseverance.
From specific praise to modeling confidence and resilience, we share our practical tips thatâll help your child develop a more positive self-image like engaging in confidence-boosting activities and the importance of celebrating small wins to promote self-efficacy.
â¨Looking for more support? Come grow with us in The Happy Human Collective, our education and support community.
â Come explore all of our self-paced workshops, live virtual meetups, and group chat threads free for 7 days!
Tap here to learn more.
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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In this "burning question" episode, we discuss common triggers that lead to sibling conflicts and offer practical strategies to support your kids (and yourself) during these challenging moments.
It's important that we reframe these conflicts as opportunities for learning rather than viewing our kids as being "mean". Understanding that they're still developing conflict resolution skills can help us approach these situations with a bit more empathy and some much-needed patience.
When weâre in the middle of a conflict, the most important thing that we can do is stay calm, and as we like to say, âstay on their teamâ. We need to remember that their emotional regulation and problem-solving skills will be lacking in the moment, so we should focus on helping them regulate their emotions instead of assigning blame or dishing out punishments.
Proactively, we can model what collaborative problem-solving looks like by engaging in cooperative activities that promote teamwork and communication. By practicing âgetting on each other's teamâ in low-stakes situations, we'll be helping them build the skills of flexibility and compromise that theyâll need to resolve conflicts throughout their lives.
⨠Looking for more support? Come grow with us in The Happy Human Collective, our education and support community.
â Access all our interactive workshops, live virtual meetups, and group chat threads free for 7 days!
Tap here to learn more.
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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After listening to this episode, youâll better understand how to guide your family through smooth transitions using the following three tips:
Tip #1: Establish Predictable Routines
Tip #2: Communicate and Explain
Tip #3: Involve Your Kids in the Decision-Makingâ¨Looking for more support? Come grow with us in The Happy Human Collective, our education and support community.
â Come explore all of our interactive workshops, live virtual meetups, and group chat threads free for 7 days!
Tap here to learn more.
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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In this video we dig into a common concern among parents who grew up in homes where yelling was the norm and offer practical strategies to break the cycle of yelling.
By acknowledging how we were raised and understanding the triggers that set us off, we can begin to move beyond our default emotional reactions and better show up as the calm and supportive parents that we want to be.
We offer strategies for managing outbursts in the heat of the moment, but also touch on what we can do proactively to make it so those outbursts happen less and less.
Letâs break free from the cycle of generational yelling!
Get your âHappy Human Freebiesâ at happyhumanlife.org
Access our interactive workshops, live virtual meetups, and support threads within our membership community!
Tap here to join us free for 7 days!
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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In this "burning question" episode, we talk about the underlying causes behind our kidsâ angry expressions, emphasizing that it's not about defiance but rather a lack of developed communication skills and immature brains (specifically the frontal lobes).
We discuss how to initiate a mindset shift, which is crucial for maintaining your composure during these kinds of heated moments, and dig into the power of modeling calm communication to set the tone. We discuss the concept of co-regulation and the importance of validating your child's feelings in order to help them feel seen and heard. This will calm their nervous system which is likely in âfight or flightâ mode.
But we donât stop there. We discuss actionable steps to help them develop better communication skills proactively, like using play to simulate challenging situations and practice how to use alternative responses that will help them develop the skills they need to self-regulate.
Get your âHappy Human Freebiesâ at happyhumanlife.org
Access our interactive workshops, live virtual meetups, and support threads within our membership community!
Tap here to join us free for 7 days!
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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In this âburning questionâ episode, we discuss effective strategies to prevent our kids from lying by first understanding their motivations for lying and fostering honesty by creating a safe and supportive environment.
When we can discover why our kids are lying, we can address the root causes behind their behavior. If we can create a nurturing home environment where we explicitly show that honesty is valued and mistakes are accepted, weâll strengthen our bonds with our kids which will encourage them to be truthful.
Ideally, we want to avoid punishments, and instead, focus on building trust and connection.
Get your âHappy Human Freebiesâ at happyhumanlife.org
Access our interactive workshops, live virtual meetups, and support threads within our membership community!
Tap here to join us free for one week!
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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Letâs all better understand how to begin parenting as a team while recognizing our shared family goals and values as well as meeting each othersâ needs.
The three actionable tips that we share in this episode are:
Tip #1: Schedule Team Chats
Tip #2: Define and Divide Responsibilities
Tip #3: Prioritize Each Othersâ Self-care NeedsGet your âHappy Human Freebiesâ at happyhumanlife.org
Looking to be a part of our membership community? Become a member here!
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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7. Stop Yelling and Find Your Calm
Weâll dig into 3 Actionable Tips thatâll help us all better manage our emotions so we can show up as the calm and regulated parents that we want to be.
Tip #1: Discover Joyful Movement
Tip #2: Practice Mindfulness and Mind-body awareness
Tip #3: Develop Time Management StrategiesGet your âHappy Human Freebiesâ at happyhumanlife.org
Looking to be a part of our membership community? Become a member here!
Thanks for listening. đ
-Jenilee and Greg
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