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  • This podcast series accompanies the book.

    Mental models for parents, teachers, professionals dealing with their children's meltdowns.

    For Episode 1 we start with controlling the one thing we can control in the heat of the moment...tune in to find out what this is. 

    Episode Highlights:

    Personal Journey: I share my own experiences as a parent, including a haunting day at the school car park, and why these moments led me to create effective systems for managing meltdowns.

    From the Expert: Despite being a child psychiatrist, I admit that parenting expertise comes from practical experience, not just professional training.

    Unique Frameworks: Learn about the practical frameworks developed through real-life experiences, designed to help you manage intense emotional moments with your children

    Resources Mentioned:

    Download the Meltdown Solution Ebook: [Link to ebook]

    Watch the Old Video: [Link to video]

    Visit the Website: [Link to Huddle Wisdom website]

    Thank you for joining me on this journey to transform meltdowns from moments of crisis into opportunities for growth and connection. 

  • Are you a parent struggling with anxiety? Do you worry about how your anxiety might be affecting your children? In this episode of 'The Huddle Wisdom Podcast' with Dr Davin Tan explores practical strategies for managing parental anxiety. Discover how to identify your triggers, practice mindfulness, communicate effectively, and set healthy boundaries. Learn how taking care of your mental health can create a more positive and nurturing environment for your entire family.

    www.huddlewisdom.com/signup

    www.huddlewisdom.com/courses

     

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  • In the final episode of the Huddle Wisdom Podcast series, Empathic Guidance for Anxious CHildren, Dr. Davin Tan explores the importance of tailoring your approach to your child's mental age rather than their chronological age. Using the factory analogy, Dr. Tan explains how children develop at different rates across various domains and provides practical strategies for supporting them at their actual developmental stage.

    Highlights:

    Recap of the factory analogy for understanding child anxiety

    Differences between mental and chronological age

    Story of Emma, a 12-year-old with varied developmental stages

    Practical strategies for preschool, primary school, and teenage developmental stages

    Identifying your child's mental age through observation and interaction

    Introduction to the "developmental gradient" method

    Dr. Tan also introduces the Empathic Guidance course, a comprehensive program designed to help parents and caregivers develop a deeper understanding of child psychology and anxiety. The course offers in-depth insights and practical tools to nurture your child's emotional well-being.

    Tune in to learn how to adapt your approach to meet your child's changing needs. Thank you for joining us throughout this series!

    To learn more about the Empathic GUidance for Anxious Children course

    www.huddlewisdom.com/courses

    To sign up for our free newsletter: www.huddlewisdom.com/signup

     

  • Join Dr. Davin Tan in this episode of the Huddle Wisdom Podcast to explore the power of encouragement in helping anxious children thrive. Recapping the factory analogy from previous episodes, Dr. Tan highlights the importance of recognizing and reinforcing a child's efforts to build self-confidence and resilience. Learn practical strategies to implement encouragement and help children navigate challenges.

    Highlights:

    Recap of the factory analogy for understanding child anxiety

    Importance of empathy and positive reinforcement

    Story of Alex, a young boy overcoming his fear of speaking up

    Strategies for recognizing and reinforcing efforts

    Emphasizing intrinsic motivation over external rewards

    Creating a safe environment for mistakes and learning

    Tune in to discover how encouragement can be the steady hand guiding anxious children through challenges. Don't miss the next episode on matching your approach to your child's mental age!

    Learn more about the empathic guidance for children course:

    www.huddlewisdom.com/practice

     

  • Part 2 of the Empathic Guidance for Anxious Children series; based off the course. Here, we explore how to build strong, empathetic connections with children to help manage anxiety. Using the analogy of a factory, Dr. Tan explains the importance of improving communication between the emotional and rational parts of a child’s mind. Discover the S.A.V.E. protocol and practical strategies for consistent connection.

    Highlights:

    Recap of the factory analogy for understanding child anxiety

    Importance of secure attachment relationships

    Story of Sarah, a young patient overcoming panic attacks

    Introduction to the S.A.V.E. protocol: See, Acknowledge, Validate, Empathy

    Long-term strategies for maintaining consistent connection

    Insights on the "good enough" parent concept by Donald Winnicott

    Tune in to learn how to become a communication specialist and validation machine for your child. Don't miss the next episode on using encouragement to reinforce behavior!

    Learn more here about the course - Empathic Guidance for Anxious Kids

    www.huddlewisdom.com/practice

  • In this episode, which is part 1 of a series based on the course 'Empathic GUidance for Anxious Kids'. 

    We dive into the complexities of anxiety in children. Discover how anxiety manifests, with examples and statistics from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. Dr. Tan shares personal anecdotes and practical strategies, like the "balloon breath" and "worry box" techniques, to help manage anxiety. Tune in for insights on recognizing signs and providing effective support.

    Highlights:

    Definition and forms of child anxiety

    Signs and symptoms to watch for

    Real-life example of a young patient, Tommy

    Importance of understanding root causes

    Strategies like breathing exercises and cognitive-behavioral techniques

    Upcoming topics on building empathetic connections

    Join us as we support our children through the challenges of anxiety with empathy and practical tools. Don’t miss the next episode on fostering strong, empathetic connections!

    Learn more:

    www.huddlewisdom.com/practice

  • Dr Rucklidge is a world renowned researcher and psychologist. She shares findings from her research in easily digestible pieces and I believe this will give parents and other listeners useful things to think about when working out what to do about nutrition, diet and micronutrients. Her book the better brain is a great resource and I recommend that you read it!

     Here's the link to the trial that was mentioned at the end of the episode.

    The M&M Trial investigates the efficacy of micronutrients and mindfulness as interventions for children struggling with emotional dysregulation.

    https://www.canterbury.ac.nz/research/about-uc-research/research-groups-and-centres/te-puna-toiora-mental-health-and-nutrition-research/The-M-M-Trial 

  •  In this episode of “Parenting with Huddle Wisdom,” we delve into the controversial topic of free-range parenting, exploring its benefits and potential pitfalls, while emphasizing the importance of context and individual circumstances.

    We start with the definition and origins of free-range parenting, tracing its roots back to Lenore Skenazy’s 2008 article where she described letting her 9-year-old son take public transit alone.

    Next, we examine a case study of Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard’s experience in Copenhagen, highlighting how cultural context influences parenting styles.

    I provide my insights on safety, appropriateness, and factors like location and age. This includes a light-hearted moment featuring Liam Neeson’s unconventional advice.

    We discuss the balance between independence and security, supported by child safety statistics and the perception versus reality. The influence of different cultural contexts and the legal implications in various jurisdictions are also touched upon.

    Finally, I offer practical advice for increasing independence and safety skills in children. The goal of parenting is to raise well-adjusted, independent children by balancing individual needs, environmental factors, and community support.

    If you have concerns about your child’s development or how to balance safety and independence, reach out to a child psychologist or psychiatrist for guidance.

    Stay informed, engaged, and make parenting decisions based on your unique circumstances, prioritizing your children’s mental and emotional well-being.

     

    credit: Film, Taken, Liam Neeson 

     

  •  

    Struggling to connect with your anxious child? In this game-changing episode, we reveal 18 powerful questions that will transform your conversations and help your child open up about their anxiety. From understanding physical sensations to identifying triggers, these expertly crafted questions cover every aspect of childhood anxiety.

    You'll discover:
    ‱ The surprising origin of your child's anxiety (Question #1 is eye-opening!)
    ‱ A creative way to visualize anxiety that kids love (Question #6 will amaze you)
    ‱ The one question that unveils your child's secret coping strategies (Don't miss #12!)
    ‱ How to uncover the hidden impact of anxiety on your child's life (Question #13 is crucial)

    Plus, we'll share tips on dealing with the dreaded "I don't know" responses and the silent treatment. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or caregiver, this episode is your key to fostering open communication and supporting the anxious child in your life. Don't miss this opportunity to strengthen your relationship and help your child thrive!

    Tune in now and transform the way you talk about anxiety with your child!

    TO go deeper: Foundations of Connection COURSE

  • In the final installment of our three-part series, Dr. Davin Tan tackles the controversial question: Should parents monitor their children’s social media accounts? Join us as we explore the delicate balance between online safety and privacy, and discover practical strategies for navigating this complex issue.

    Key Points:

    Statistics on Parental Monitoring:

    60% of parents check their teen’s social media profiles, while 40% do not.Concerns about online safety, cyberbullying, and exposure to harmful content versus privacy and trust.

    Research Insights:

    Teenagers who believe their parents are monitoring their social media are more likely to engage in online risk behaviors.Open, honest communication between parents and teens reduces risky online behaviors.

    Practical Solutions for Parents:

    Set Clear Guidelines: Establish rules for social media use, including privacy settings and acceptable behavior.Use Monitoring Tools Transparently: Inform your child about monitoring tools and explain the reasons behind their use.Foster Open Communication: Encourage discussions about online experiences and create a safe environment for your child to share concerns.

    Adjusting Monitoring as Children Grow:

    Tailor your approach based on your child’s age and maturity.Gradually reduce monitoring as your child demonstrates responsible online behavior.

    Regular “Tech Talks”:

    Have weekly or monthly discussions about online activities, new apps, and any concerns.

    Resources Mentioned:

    Huddle Wisdom Courses:“Supporting and Guiding Anxious Kids” – Empathic parenting strategies for emotional and behavioral challenges.“Connecting with Anxious, Sensitive, and Neurodiverse Kids” – Enhancing communication skills, fostering empathy, and managing emotions.

    Conclusion:

    Monitor your child’s social media with transparency, respect, and a goal of teaching them to navigate the online world safely and responsibly.Stay informed, stay connected, and adapt your approach as your child grows.
  •  

    In this episode of we explore the contentious topic of violent video games and movies and their impact on children. We look at the potential risks and offers practical advice for parents.

    Key Points:

    Statistics on Violent Media Exposure:

    90% of movies, 68% of video games, and 60% of TV shows contain some form of violence.Concerns about increased aggression, desensitization to violence, and emotional distress in children.

    Research Insights:

    Mixed findings on the impact of violent media.Younger children and those with pre-existing emotional or behavioral problems may be more vulnerable.

    Practical Solutions for Parents:

    Monitor Content: Be aware of what your child is watching or playing. Use content ratings as a guide.Set Limits: Manage screen time and restrict access to violent content. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than one to two hours of screen time per day for children over the age of two.Encourage Alternative Activities: Promote non-violent games and activities that foster creativity, problem-solving, and social interaction.

    Prosocial Video Games:

    Games that reward helping and cooperation can increase empathy and decrease aggressive thoughts.

    Context Matters:

    Different types of violent content can have varying impacts. Help children understand and process what they see.

    Catharsis Theory:

    The idea that violent media can serve as a safe outlet for aggression is not widely supported by research.

    Resources Mentioned:

    Huddle Wisdom Courses:“Supporting and Guiding Anxious Kids” – Empathic parenting strategies for emotional and behavioral challenges.“Connecting with Anxious, Sensitive, and Neurodiverse Kids” – Enhancing communication skills, fostering empathy, and managing emotions.

    Conclusion:

    Err on the side of caution with violent media, especially for younger children and those with behavioral issues.Monitor content, set limits, and provide alternatives.Every child is different; tailor your approach to your family’s needs.

    Next Episode:

    The impact of social media on teenage self-esteem.

    Outro:

    Thank you for tuning in. Stay informed and engaged with your children’s media consumption.
  • Part 1: Why Your Child Shouldn’t Have a Smartphone Until 16: Shocking Truths Revealed!

    Welcome to “Technology and Media with Dr. Davin Tan,” where we delve into the profound impact of modern technology on our lives. In this episode we address a pressing question for many parents: When should children be allowed to have their own smartphones?

    Join us as we explore surprising statistics about early smartphone ownership and discuss the potential risks and benefits of these powerful devices for young, developing minds. Dr. Tan shares practical advice for parents, emphasizing the importance of setting clear boundaries, utilizing parental controls, and maintaining open communication with your child.

    Tune in to gain valuable insights and make informed decisions about your child’s digital life. Stay involved, provide guidance, and keep the lines of communication open to ensure your child’s well-being in the digital age.

    **If your household has not yet considered the principles or there are certain pillars that are not yet built or developed in your space...then I tend to err on the side of caution and say no to smartphones. If you are unsure, I would hold, delay, don't succumb to pressure. 

     

  •  

    Today’s episode: “Noodles, Not Sandwiches” – a simple concept to support your anxious child.Did you know? Nearly 1 in 3 adolescents experience an anxiety disorder (National Institute of Mental Health). Supportive parenting can reduce this risk by 46% (Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry).

    The Noodle Analogy

    Compliment Sandwich vs. Noodle Analogy: Toss out the old “compliment sandwich” and embrace the noodle analogy for flexibility and fun.Noodle Recipe for Parenting Success:Water (Warmth): Create a comforting environment for your child.Noodle (Growth): Help your child grow and become more flexible.Flavor (Empathy): Acknowledge and validate your child’s feelings.Spice (Courage): Encourage bravery and use humor to reduce anxiety.

    Real-Life Applications:

    Tantrums: Start with warmth and empathy, use humor, and offer comforting touch.School Stress: Create a calm environment, listen, use gentle humor, and celebrate efforts.Facing Fears: Validate feelings, use humor, encourage bravery, and celebrate courage.

    Key Takeaway:

    Just like noodles need time to become tender, kids need patience and the right support to flourish. Use warmth, empathy, humor, and encouragement to help them transform.

    Special Treat:

    Check out our new ‘Noodles, Not Sandwiches’ merchandise! T-shirts, mugs, and plush noodles available at our Fourthwall store. 

    https://huddlewisdom-shop.fourthwall.com/?source=dashboard

  • Discuss the common challenge of whining in children and its impact on family dynamics. 

    Psychology Behind Whining:Reinforcement Through Response: Parental attention can reinforce whining (85% of cases).Cry for Attention: Whining as a tool for emotional needs; consistent positive attention reduces it by 60%.Emotional Regulation Challenges: Whining as a manifestation of frustration, fatigue, or hunger; emotional regulation skills reduce it by 40%.Effective Strategies to Address Whining:Make Whining Ineffective: Consistently refuse demands made through whining; 75% decrease over six months.Proactive Positive Attention: 15 minutes of undivided attention daily reduces negative behaviors by 50%.Fostering Emotional Expression: Teaching verbal expression of emotions reduces whining by 65%.Handling Meltdowns and Tantrums with Empathy:Key Strategies: Stay calm, validate feelings, offer comfort and reassurance.Impact: Empathetic responses improve emotional regulation skills by 70%.Conclusion: Emphasise the importance of understanding the causes of whining and implementing targeted strategies for a harmonious home environment.

     

    FREE tools

    www.huddlewisdom.com/gettools

    [for navigating meltdowns]

    www.huddlewisdom.com/connections

    [for more effective communication with sensitive kids]

     

  • Today we're diving into a topic that keeps many parents up at night - childhood fears and anxiety.

    Imagine this: It's 2 AM, and you're jolted awake by a blood-curdling scream. Your heart races as you dash to your child's room, expecting to find a burglar or perhaps a particularly menacing spider. Instead, you're greeted by your six-year-old, trembling under the covers, insisting there's a scary thing in the wardrobe. Is this normal childhood fear, or should you ring the local child psychologist at this ungodly hour? Stick around, because we're about to dive into this very question.

    In this episode, we'll explore:

    - Common Childhood Fears: From fear of the dark to koumpounophobia (fear of buttons), we'll discuss the wide range of fears children experience.

    - Age-Related Fears: Learn about typical fears at different developmental stages, such as loud noises for infants and social situations for school-age children.

    - Distinguishing Normal Fears from Anxiety: Understand the red flags that might indicate your child's fears have crossed into anxiety territory.

    - Statistics and Studies: We'll share insights from recent surveys and studies, including data from the UK's National Health Service and the British Journal of Developmental Psychology

    - Practical Strategies: Get actionable tips for helping children manage both normal fears and anxiety, including validation techniques, gradual exposure, and mindfulness practices.

    Join us as we navigate the complexities of childhood fears and anxiety, offering insights and practical advice to help you support your child's emotional well-being.

  • Master the art of balancing empathy and challenge in parenting with practical tips and a touch of humor.

    Blog Post: https://www.huddlewisdom.com/blog/parenting-tightrope-empathy-challenge

    LinkedIn Profile Follow me! https://www.linkedin.com/in/huddlewisdom/

     

  • In this episode, we explore the trials and triumphs of parenting, drawing from a familiar scene of childlike mischief and adult frustration.

    Let's think about the motives behind children's behavior, the importance of fostering a sense of belonging, and the lessons learned from natural consequences rather than employing a power-over authoritarian approach that doesn't work for you in the long run. 

    Whether you're feeling overwhelmed by the chaos or cherishing a sweet moment of redemption, remember, we're all in this together.

    Tune in for a fresh perspective on parenting and remember, there may not always be chocolate at the end of the day, but there are always opportunities for growth and connection. 

    #ParentingJourney #ChildBehavior #UnderstandingKids #HolisticParenting #GrowthAndConnection #EverydayChaos #TrialsAndTriumphs #FreshPerspective #ParentingPodcast

  • In this enlightening episode, I sit down with my friend and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu coach, Professor Felipe Santos. A champion in many respects, Felipe is a kind, passionate family man and an all-round good sort. I’ve learned a lot from him over the years.

    Our conversation evolves naturally, flowing with the go, as Master Rickson Gracie would say. We cover a lot of ground, discussing topics such as:

    Resilience, perseverance, and gritDealing with complexity, uncertainty, fear, and anxietyThe importance of family and traditional valuesThe power of communityThe significance of structure and disciplineRespect for others, self, and higher powers

    This episode was suggested by Prashant Kumar, the mat enforcer at our gym. His wonderful idea led to a conversation that I believe will be the first of many more to come. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, we find, is a metaphor for life. Any difficult-to-master skill can be a rich resource of lessons that teach us so much about life and how to live meaningfully.

    I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did! To find Professor Santos and the gang at Mount Maunganui Jiu-Jitsu, check out the details in the show notes. They offer a one-week free trial, which I highly recommend. Not only does BJJ give you a competitive edge in BBQ rumbles, but it also provides an advantage in many areas of life, including business, family, love, friendships, finances, and conflict resolution.

    https://www.mountjiujitsu.co.nz/

    https://www.facebook.com/mountmaunganuijiujitsu 

    https://www.instagram.com/mountmaunganuijiujitsu 

    Don’t forget to check us out on LinkedIn, Instagram, and Facebook. Visit huddlewisdom.com for free parenting resources, especially if you have anxious kids at home or at school. For the neuroatypical tribes out there, we have resources for you too. If you enjoy our content, feel free to contribute at www.buymeacoffee.com/huddlewisdom to keep this good thing going. Enjoy the episode!

     

  • Welcome to this episode of "The Power of Self-Reflection: A Guide for Parents of Anxious Children". In this episode, we delve into the challenges parents face when their children experience anxiety and explore the transformative power of self-reflection as a tool to navigate these challenges.

    We discuss the difference between reactive and self-reflective practices, highlighting how easy it is to revert to old habits in stressful situations. We explore the concept of self-reflection, a practice that involves acknowledging our roles in conflicts and dissecting our actions. This enlightening journey can enhance our ability to think before we act, fostering personal growth and better understanding of our reactions.

    We guide you through a journey of self-reflection with reflective questions designed to help you understand your reactions and their impact on your anxious children. These questions serve as a starting point for introspection, helping you to explore the principles that guide your actions, understand the notions carried over from your own childhood, and identify the ideas that influenced your response or reaction at that moment.

    Remember, this is a personal journey with no right or wrong answers. It's about understanding ourselves better to support our children more effectively. We encourage you to take some time to reflect on these questions and share your reflections and discoveries on your social media platforms, fostering a supportive community for parents facing similar challenges. Join us in this episode as we embark on this enlightening journey of self-reflection to better support our children and navigate the challenges of parenting.

     

    The QUESTIONS

    What principles guide my actions?
    What notions have I carried over from my own childhood?
    What ideas influenced my response or reaction at that moment?
    How confident am I in identifying problems?
    Am I considering all the relevant factors?
    Do I feel like I’ve lost control over a situation?
    Is this because I feel the need to be heard or listened to?