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    Notes

    Luck is not real – “Luck is something we conjure in our minds to grapple with the consequences of whatever life may throw our way. Luck is a physiological concept. It’s determined by how we view a situation. Academic studies show that you can become luckier simply by telling yourself that you are lucky.” Pessimists sound smart, but optimists change the world. Believe in yourself. Have agency. Strive to make something happen. "Luck is the flip side of risk. They are mirrored cousins, driven by the same thing: You are one person in a 7 billion player game, and the accidental impact of other people’s actions can be more consequential than your own." - Morgan Housel Surround yourself with compounders and fire your boring friends– Being around other ambitious people who are willing to push you will make you better. Strike the balance between being loyal to longtime friends, and doing anything for them, but spending the bulk of your time around people who will push your edges and make you think bigger. Fire your Boring Friends - “If you are optimizing for living an extraordinary” life, you have to fire all the boring friends and find people living extraordinary lives.” You don’t get what you don’t ask for. I love the story of Anthony meeting his future wife, Polina, for coffee and asking for the next date for that same night. The answer is NO if you don’t ask. It’s worth the potential rejection because the upside is so great. In this case, they got married and have two children. The people who sustain excellence are not afraid to make the ask. Get on the plane -- When in doubt, go see them in person. "Experience is a liability when it comes to setting expectations." Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. Not knowing that something is supposed to be hard can be useful. Respect other people's time - “When I was playing football in college one of our coaches used to say, “5 minutes early is on time and on time is late.” By respecting other people's time they will realize you are a serious person. Childhood is not a crutch — Don't have a victim mindset to use childhood as a crutch for poor behavior. “It’s easy to use your childhood as a crutch instead of seeing it as a chisel.” - Cameron Hanes Simplicity signals mastery — Tim Urban is the master at this. As a writer and/or teacher, your writing should make the reader feel smarter, not dumber. Using big complicated words and sentences shows that you don’t know what you’re talking about. The world seems to separate itself into two groups - the people who never stop learning and everyone else. Document Good Ideas – Ideas run the world. “I created a system that works well for me. I broke everything down into four areas where I could find a good idea. Books, social media, conversations, and audio/video content. Advice: "Seek risk. What is the riskiest thing you can do? The greatest returns are on the other side of risk. Run towards the risk."
  • Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com

    The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

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    Dr. Meg Meeker has spent more than thirty years practicing pediatric and adolescent medicine and counseling teens and parents. Dr. Meeker is a popular speaker and bestselling author of several books, including the national bestseller, STRONG FATHERS, STRONG DAUGHTERS; THE 10 HABITS OF HAPPY MOTHERS; and BOYS SHOULD BE BOYS.

    Notes:

    One of the best things fathers can do is raise their daughters’ expectations of life. That will directly affect how your daughter talks, how she dresses, how well she does in school, and even what sports or musical instruments she chooses to play. You can help her set goals, help her define a higher purpose for her life, and as a result, her self-esteem will skyrocket. And it will bring you closer, because she’ll recognize you as a leader and an ally, helping her to chart a better course. Don’t post anything about your kids on social media. It makes them think they are your trophy to show off. And be mindful of how you talk about them to others. Do you only focus on their accomplishments? They are listening to what you say about them
 Be the man you want her to marry – See it, do it, teach it. What are the 5 strongest character qualities you want your children to have? How are you showing that to them every day? You are setting the standard. They are watching carefully. You will create what is quote, “normal,” in their life. Are you living with integrity, working hard, not speaking poorly behind others backs? You are showing them how they should behave. If you were watching yourself from outside your body, would you like what you see? We have to live it every day. Your daughter sees you (her dad) as her hero. The smartest, strongest, best person in the world. Kids want their dad's approval. "I want attention just for being me, not for performing a sport." "You don't just love them. You love their company." Always do good work, but don't boast about it. "He believed in me." -- The power of the belief that Meg's dad had in her. Teach her Humility - Genuine humility is the starting point for every other virtue. But teaching it is tricky. Your daughter needs to feel unique and important in your eyes. Humility doesn’t make sense unless it’s modeled. To fulfill her potential, your daughter needs to understand who she is, where she comes from, and where she’s going. Humility is seeing ourselves honestly
 Self-centeredness is a problem if we base our entire lives around our kids wants and desires. Clarify your morals (without apology) – If you want her to live by a code or set of values, you must first live by them. If you don’t want her to lie, then you should never lie. If you don’t want her to use cuss/swear words, then you should not use them. If you don’t want to her to drink, then don’t normalize it in your house. She wants to see conviction and leadership in her father. Teach your kids to serve in a soup kitchen. Be in service of others. Gain perspective by seeing how others who are less fortunate than you live. Embrace them when they fail. The dad plants the default in the minds of their children. What do you want that default behavior to be? How to approach your daughter's boyfriends? Shake their hands Be curious, ask questions Invite them over for dinner
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    Jack Carr is a former Navy SEAL who for 20 years led special operations teams as a Team Leader, Platoon Commander, Troop Commander, and Task Unit Commander. Jack is also the #1 New York Times Best Selling author of 8 books and his debut novel, The Terminal List, was adapted into the #1 Amazon Prime Video series starring Chris Pratt.

    Notes

    When Jack was little, he hoped to grow up and do two things. Be a Navy SEAL and become an author. Jack's grandfather died at war. "It's in my blood." "You have to prove that you can add value to your tribe." "Great warriors run to the sound of the guns to be with their fellow service members." Commonality of the best SEAL Leaders: Trust, up and down the chain of command High character Good decision-maker: The decisions you’ve made in the past are your currency. Do things you don’t have to do. Run with the squad, put rounds down range. You don’t have to be the best at it, but you should be very good at all of the things the people you’re leading are doing. Reading novels: "When I was young, I was reading for the magic in those pages." PUT IN THE WORK
 Jack has been putting in the work since he was little. He read books for the magic in those pages. All of that reading has helped inform him of what great storytelling looks like. And then he PUT IN THE WORK. If you want to be a published author, you need to WRITE. It’s that simple. Do the work, and get the manuscript done. And then take the next step. A lot of people want to be published authors. Not everyone wants to write. Like Ronnie Coleman said, “A lot of people want to be a bodybuilder, but nobody wants to lift these heavy weights every day.” Mentor, Brad Thor: “Brad told me that the only difference between a published and unpublished author is that the published author doesn’t quit.” Writers Block – One thing I’ll share from Steven Pressfield is that he said “Hey, you never hear of a trucker getting trucker’s block”. Writer’s block does not exist - you just have to go do it. Books to recommend: ONCE AN EAGLE by Anton Myrer. It is advice that a wise Sam Damon shares: “You can’t help what you were born and you may not have much to say about where you die, but you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.” In the end that really says it all. Advice: Never miss an opportunity to make someone’s day
 Make that your default setting. Work to add value to others' lives. Make their day. Help them. Make introductions, LISTEN to them, offer ideas to help solve their issues
  • The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

    Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com

    My books:

    Welcome to Management - https://amzn.to/3XWyZAH

    The Pursuit of Excellence - https://amzn.to/4eX9vtP

    The Score That Matters - https://amzn.to/3zPub7Z

    Seth Godin is the author of 21 international bestsellers that have changed the way people think about work and art. They have been translated into 38 languages. His breakthrough books include Purple Cow, Tribes, The Dip, Linchpin, and his latest book is called This is Strategy. He writes one of the most popular daily blogs in the world and has given 5 TED talks. He is the founder of the altMBA, and the former VP of Direct Marketing at Yahoo!

    Notes:

    "If you want word of mouth, you have to create something remarkable, and that means it’s worthy of remark." The elegant path is the most useful way forward. “My neighbor is a barefoot runner. He glides without apparent effort.” Elegance is simplicity, efficiency, and effectiveness. Dorothy and Her Crew. How did Dorothy persuade the Lion, Tin Man, and Scarecrow to join her on the trip to see the Wizard? Did she make a case about how much she missed home? No. She created the conditions where the others could get what they wanted by joining her. Seeing Strategy Clearly. Strategy is a flexible plan that guides us as we seek to create a change. It helps us make decisions over time while working within a system. Low-Hanging Fruit Isn’t. It’s all been picked. The easy, direct, obvious paths are unlikely to get you the results you’re working so hard to obtain. In fact, these paths are probably a trap. Seth, at one point, got 800 rejection letters. Have to keep going... "I wouldn't call Steve Ballmer a good leader." An example of Seth making a difference... He went to Kenya and talked with 60 people who started a book club based on his book Linchpin. "They decided to be leaders." Make decisions in the moment: Examine the issue Get feedback Look for patterns "Taste is knowing what the market wants before it knows it." Rick Rubin Reality distortion field Johnny Cash "What do you think?" "Objections are your friends." What are the commonalities among leaders with whom Seth has worked and who have sustained excellence? They are all different, but the one thing they have in common is they all have chosen to be leaders. And that means that they are here to make a change happen. Management doesn’t just exist. It was invented. When you race to the bottom, You see people as resources, not as people. Questions That Lead To Strategies. 84 questions. They’ll force you to think through your strategy. By answering them, you’ll be better prepared to make a difference
 And make a ruckus. Some of them: Who is this project for? What is my timeline? What systems would need to change for my project to succeed? Where will I cause tension? What resistance should I anticipate? Where is the empathy? What asset would transform my project? What can I learn from comparable projects? Is the change I’m making contagious? Can I make it easier for others to decide? How can I design for network effects? What are common objections I expect to encounter?
  • The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

    Full show notes at www.LearningLeader.com

    My books:

    Welcome to Management - https://amzn.to/3XWyZAH

    The Pursuit of Excellence - https://amzn.to/4eX9vtP

    The Score That Matters - https://amzn.to/3zPub7Z

    My guest: After years of serving as a high school government and law teacher, Sharon McMahon took her passion for education to Instagram, where more than a million people rely on her for nonpartisan, fact-based information as “America's Government Teacher.” In a time where flashy headlines and false information often take the spotlight, Sharon is a reliable source for truth and logic. Sharon is the author of: The Small and The Mighty – Twelve Unsung Americans Who Changed the Course of History, From the Founding to the Civil Rights Movement.

    Notes:

    What did Teddy Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, and FDR have in common? The ability to articulate a vision that others wanted to follow. They were great communicators. If you want to lead people, it helps to become a fantastic storyteller. It helps to be able to stand up in front of a group of people and share the vision in an entertaining and informative way. And then execute on that vision. Be a doer. “The best Americans are not the critics, they are the doers. They are the people who went for broke when everyone else yelled to turn back. They are those who know that one becomes great because of who they lift up, not who they put down.” I’ve never observed anyone, regardless of field, achieve lasting prominence while voicing rancor or focusing much on the failings of others. Create and share, support others, and enjoy. Givers and creators always prevail. - Andrew Huberman Door-to-door sales helps you deal with rejection. It's good for you. When you see a new person at the gym, celebrate them. Help them get acclimated. The Hello Girls -- AT&T -- Pioneer of telephones. They were doing their jobs wearing gasmasks with bombs exploding around them. Echo Chambers – As a leader, what you don’t know, can hurt you. Do not surround yourself with “yes men” or “yes women.” You need a diversity of viewpoints. You should feel uncomfortable on a regular basis. You should told you’re wrong from the people you surround yourself with. If you’re not, then you’re living in an echo chamber. Also, pay attention to a broad spectrum of media. If you only watch one news channel or read one newspaper, you will probably end up in an echo chamber. Then develop friendships with people who think differently than you. They’re not wrong because they think the way they do. Instead of judging them, why not be curious and learn more about their viewpoint. Gouverneur Morris – One of Alexander Hamilton’s best friends and one of our founding fathers. He contributed as much or more to the early republic than Ben Franklin or John Adams. He conceived America’s great statement of purpose, the one still recited by schoolchildren. He’s the author of the Preamble of the new United States Constitution. “The best Americans are not the critics, they are the doers. They are the people who went for broke when everyone else yelled to turn back. They are those who know that one becomes great because of who they lift up, not who they put down.” I have learned that no one reaches their final moments of mortal existence and whispers to their loved ones, “I wish I had gotten in some more sick burns in the comments section on Facebook.” Advice: "Be the "can-do" person. Have the best attitude in the room. Be amazing at whatever you choose to do. Be the person that others love to work with."
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    Michael Easter’s investigations have taken him to meet with monks in ancient monasteries in Bhutan, lost tribes in the jungles of Bolivia, US Special Forces soldiers in undisclosed locations, gene scientists in Iceland, CEOs in Fortune-500 boardrooms, and more. He’s a professor at UNLV and he’s the best-selling author of The Comfort Crisis and Scarcity Brain.

    “The modern world is designed for short-term survival and pleasure. It is not set up to help us thrive in the long term.” “Have fun, don’t die, read books, and do strange things.” Be a 2 percenter. 98% of people do the easy thing. We are programmed to do the easy thing. The world was uncomfortable a while ago... It makes sense to do the easy thing. You get the short-term reward for it. Handle adversity, adapt, do the slightly harder thing Some ideas: do walking meetings, work in silence, embrace hunger, don't cut corners, pick up the trash, call people on the phone. Ruck the airport. Don't sit down, walk. Read while exercising. Workout outside. Sprint. Lift weights. The ability to move a limb quickly is what helps old people not fall. Need to be powerful and springy to move quickly (and not fall). Diet - One ingredient foods. Tribe in Bolivia with the healthiest hearts in the world. Be outside, eat one ingredient foods. Scarcity brain - We all suck at moderation. We overconsume... Casinos, slot machines. Quick, repeatable, predictable. The speed makes it powerful. Silicon Valley learned this from casinos and it's how they build their apps. The smartphone withdrawal effect. Worse in short term. Better in the long term. Break bad habits - Slow down. Respond, don't react. Wait 72 hours to buy the thing in your online cart. Junk food is super easy to eat fast. It was designed that way. Your body doesn't know it's full because of the speed. What did Michael learn from a tribe in a Bolivian jungle?
    They seemed very happy. What did they do? They ate single-ingredient food. They spent a lot of time outside. And they spent a lot of time together. What can we learn from that? Eat healthy, go outside, and spend time with people you love. “A lot of problems are not our fault, but they are our problems to solve.” Remember, we are wired to choose the escalator, fast food or to cut the corner. We need to be intentional in taking the stairs, slowing down, and responding instead of reacting. How the scarcity loop works: It has three parts: opportunity, unpredictable rewards, and quick repeatability. Becoming aware of it can help you fall into it less often. Michael has been sober for 9 years. His drinking addiction stemmed from having a boring life (job he didn't like). Needed to explore the edges. Booze did that for him. Iraq - Sandstorm. We don't read books here. We don't have that luxury. We have too many problems to deal with. In America, we live in a country where we can read books.
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    “Have I ever mentioned how much I f’n love these Phase 2 calls?!? Free cocaine. Straight outta the Dope Factory.” – Geron Stokes "Another thing that I found is an intense interest of the subject is indispensable if you are really going to excel. I could force myself to be fairly good in a lot of things, but I couldn’t be really good in anything where I didn’t have an intense interest." – Charlie Munger Our Team Values & Behaviors: Curious: practice invested listening Honest: give direct feedback Intentional: provide purposeful action What is our edge as a TEAM? Our purpose, our values, and our behaviors. We are ACTIVELY doing it. Raw and Simple: We cut through the noise and address the fundamental issues leaders face. Our straightforward approach helps teams confront what they’re not doing and empowers them to take actionable steps toward improvement. In The Arena: We don’t just talk about leadership principles—we live them. Every member of our team actively practices the strategies we coach, ensuring real-world insights and practical solutions. Take Risks: We’re unafraid to push boundaries and challenge conventional thinking. We help leaders take bold actions, even if it means stepping out of their comfort zones or facing tough consequences. Love being on a team that "makes the water rise." We all are better for being together on the same team. Gratitude – You can’t roll up your sleeves and clench your fists at the same time. Living with gratitude is about recognizing and appreciating what you have. This will change the lens in which you view the world. Geron (overheard from Coach Mike Gundy): “I can’t believe they pay us to do this.” It is so much fun working with this team and the reward is that we get to keep doing it. So grateful. The makeup of a great team
 They are tough, they have fun together, they care about each other, and they have that gritty humility about them. “Humble enough to listen, gritty enough to apply." Our prep calls – The calls before the calls. We learn so much from our preparation together. It's an open forum to share ideas, disagree, talk through stories, and figure out how to make people better. Some of my favorite times. How to work with the employee who just won’t fully buy-in. Be curious, not judgemental. Ask questions. LISTEN. Care. As Sherri said, “Nobody wants to sleepwalk through life.” We need to figure out what makes them come alive and help them bring that to the team.
  • The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

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    This is Episode #601 with the CEO of Automattic, Matt Mullenweg

    Notes:

    What is your creed? I will never stop learning. I won’t just work on things that are assigned to me. I know there’s no such thing as a status quo. I will build our business sustainably through passionate and loyal customers. I will never pass up an opportunity to help out a colleague, and I’ll remember the days before I knew everything. I am more motivated by impact than money, and I know that Open Source is one of the most powerful ideas of our generation. I will communicate as much as possible because it’s the oxygen of a distributed company. I am in a marathon, not a sprint, and no matter how far away the goal is, the only way to get there is by putting one foot in front of another every day. Given time, there is no problem that’s insurmountable. "People need something to believe in." -- That's what draws talent to the company. What do you look for when hiring a leader? "The four qualities that you can't train..." Work ethic Taste Integrity Curiosity Coaching -- Expose your leaders to coaches. Mirror Ask questions Reflect Commonalities of leaders who sustain excellence: Optimism in dark times Player coaches -- They can do the work AND lead others Hire well -- They spot talent, hire, train, develop, and retain them Commencement speech -- Encourage others to think bigger. Raise their ambition. From Tyler Cowen -- The high-return activity of raising others’ aspirations - (PhD instead of Masters) At critical moments in time, you can raise the aspirations of other people significantly, simply by suggesting they do something better or more ambitious than what they might have in mind. It costs you relatively little to do this, but the benefit to them, and to the broader world, may be enormous. Matt's Twitter Bio -- I can think. I can wait. I can fast– This comes from Hermann Hesse’s Siddhartha. Siddartha said “if you can think, wait, and fast, you can do just about anything.” Don’t constrain your mentors by their availability, engage with their work! Jim Simons was a mentor for Matt. Be guided by beauty. Will Durant - Health lies in action, and so it graces youth. To be busy is the secret of grace and half the secret of content. Let us ask the gods not for possessions, but for things to do; happiness is in making things rather than in consuming them.” Matt's goals -- My goals in life are to democratize publishing, commerce, and messaging. I travel a lot. In 2023 I visited 63 cities, and 18 countries, and my average velocity was 41.9 miles per hour. I was born and raised in Houston, Texas. I write code, poetry, prose, and music, often in support of those three goals, but sometimes just to make the world a more beautiful place. I love taking photos and have posted over 30,000 to this site, hence my common username photomatt.
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    The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

    We are celebrating episode #600 with Keith Hawk and AJ Hawk

    Tell a story about an awesome leader you worked with... Ron Ullery – I’m a firm believer that people either live up to or down to your expectations. And most people set their expectations for themselves too low. So it’s on you as a leader to raise those expectations for them. Demand more because you know they can do more. Tyler Cowen – The high return activity of raising others’ aspirations. Encouraged someone who was going for an MBA to get a Phd. At critical moments in time, you can raise the aspirations of other people significantly, especially when they are relatively young, simply by suggesting they do something better or more ambitious than what they might have in mind. It costs you relatively little to do this, but the benefit to them, and to the broader world, may be enormous. What helps you give a great speech? How do you prepare? Ask, "What do I want my audience to do after seeing my speech?" Interview members of their team. Learn their terminology, challenges, what's going well, what's not, what are their goals, etc... Practice, practice, practice. Say it out loud. Rehearse so that once you're on stage, you can let it rip. What did the best teams you’ve been on do differently than the average teams? The best players on the best teams always practiced the hardest. They set the tone for the work ethic of the team. They chose extra work. They set high standards and they demanded others raise their level of performance. The best teams hung out together outside of work. AJ was a Captain of the Green Bay Packers Super Bowl-winning team in 2010-2011... That team regularly hung out together outside of working hours, shared lots of meals, and knew each other extremely well. They trusted each other. Tell a story about how you’ve shown resilience
 Failed and what did you do next? The Miami/Ben Roethlisberger story - The world doesn't care what you think you deserve. The primary goal is focused on adding value to others' lives. AJ shared a story from his sophomore year at Ohio State. His defensive coordinator, Coach Mark Dantonio sat with him 1 on 1 watching each play of the Michigan game. A day he’ll never forget for how hard it was, how upset he was, and how determined he was to respond. AJ never lost to Michigan again in his career after that. Pistol shared a story about the time when the new CEO wanted to bring in his own head of sales (which was Pistol's job). Instead of complaining and leaving the company, he got creative and offered a new idea and a great way to leverage all the skills and knowledge he developed from being at the company for so long. It is amazingly rare for the head of sales to stay at a company after he’s been replaced. But he thrived in the role and made the company better. Front line obsession – Pistol’s story of the legendary Mert McGill going to the Supreme Court to demo LexisNexis and earning the most important sale in the company's history. I love stories about leaders proactively taking action and not being afraid to do the work. Update since Episode #500: Built the Learning Leader Team -- Officially working full-time with Sherri Coale, Brook Cupps, Geron Stokes, and Eli Leiker. We are working with leaders from a wide variety of companies throughout the U.S. The magic of the Pat McAfee Show -- They are unafraid. They say what others are thinking but are too afraid to say. They are authentic and fully themselves. They have great role clarity. Everyone knows and embraces their roles and excels at them. The End of the Podcast Draft – You’re stranded on a deserted island. You have one iPad. On that iPad has 5 TV shows (and nothing else). Which shows do you choose? This is a competition with a clear winner and losers. The object is to win the draft.
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    Sustaining Excellence Good get at getting stuff done Make a change from an expert to a learning machine Apply to be in my Learning Leader Circle Leadership is: Teaching – sharing with others what they need to know, how to do something Mentoring - Help them see the world from our eyes Coaching - Help them see the world through their eyes. To do that, we must be good listeners, ask questions, and challenge them Follow what’s interesting to you
 To figure out your passion, you have to do stuff. That’s the only way to fully learn what you’re good at and what you want to do. Have to be willing to try, fail, keep going, and figure out where you excel and what you’re curious about. That’s how you find your passion and do it for a living. They set up leadership dyads and triads at the Mayo Clinic. Group up a doctor, a nurse, and an administrator to help make decisions. This way you gain the perspective from different angles, people, and experiences. You have to context-shift radically, from an ER to a boardroom to a coaching session. Not everybody can wear all those hats, and yet Rick does it really well (with grace and humility). What’s the difference between a coach and a mentor? When you mentor: You share your experience & subject-matter expertise. You help a colleague see the world & its potential—through your eyes. When you coach: You help your colleague make sense of their world—from their perspective. Effective leaders: seek diverse perspectives recognize the bias of individual opinion make decisions methodically Ineffective leaders: make reflexive decisions amplify the thoughts of a few see alternate perspectives as obstacles Hiring -- What are the must-haves for a leadership role? Knowledge Fit with the team Collaborate Align with the values How to run 1:1s Consent to an agenda Ask useful questions LISTEN Career and Life Advice: Ask Who, How, What, Why Seek multiple perspectives Atul Gawande's Checklist Manifesto is useful.
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    The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

    Ep # 598: Sam Parr

    Notes

    Sam’s mantra (which he has tattooed on his thigh): “Bold. Fast. Fun.” It’s really hard to beat someone who moves fast, takes risks, and has fun doing it. Think big, but you have to get started. We see Hustle Con and the 2,500 people and think that’s just how it always was. It started as a small book club, then a small event that made a little money... And YEARS later it’s HustleCon which helped launch The Hustle, which then eventually sold for 10’s of millions. We have to get started and keep going. The most important skill set (according to Sam) is the ability to convince people of something. Persuading others. You have to believe in it yourself, be a clear thinker, and know how to communicate that to others to make them believe in it too. This skill will help you accomplish a lot. Writing – Write like you talk. Writing clarifies your thinking
 Think in headlines – Thinking in headlines will make you a clearer thinker. It will help you see how an idea should be framed, identify different ways to tell your story, and show you the soul of your topic. Back against the wall - “I firmly believe in putting my back against the wall.” Deadlines, pressure, and harsh goals will pull out the best from you. Copy by Hand – Sam copied the best sales letters of all time by hand. Let the writing you admire pass through your fingers. This method is called copywork. What Sam learned backstage at his events with rich people/CEOs - "They weren't smarter than me." We're all just figuring it out as we go.: " Cold emails -- Work that muscle. AirBnB cold email story: "I cold emailed this guy named Brian. And he had a company called Air Bed and Breakfast. I said, 'Hey, this sounds like a cool thing. I want to interview. I think I can help make it better by doing a few things.' And they said, 'Are you in the Bay Area?' 'Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm there.' And he said, 'Alright, great. Come to the office on Monday.' So I booked the flight and I flew out and got an interview there. That's how I got introduced to startups. And then I eventually moved to San Francisco." Sports - Love them because they are objective. The time doesn't lie. Same with business. The numbers don't lie. You know you're going to feel pain (before running a 400m), but you do it anyway and push through it. That's what makes them great. How to raise tough kids? "I'm scared. I think about this all the time. Will need to remove the things that make my life easy like all the service providers have now." Hiring - Freaks, weirdos. The others. Want people passionate about something. Anything. Bottom 4th of the resume. Be skilled at something, not a generalist. Writing/communication - No typos. Clear writing = clear thinking. We want clear thinkers. Especially for leadership roles. Fame - "I don't want that anymore, but I still want to be taken seriously by the big boys. I'm still insecure about building something other than a media company." Advice: "Be a fucking animal." Don't let anything stop you. Excellence - "Like your shit. Enjoy it. Must have endurance. Be like a cockroach and stay alive. Survive. Don't quit. Don't be vanilla. Do dope shit."
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    The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

    Episode #597 -- Daniel Pink

    How to give a great townhall speech: Begin with the end in mind. What do you want the people in the audience to do? Prepare, don’t wing it. Be ready. Practice Sound like you. Don’t try to sound like Steve Jobs or someone else. When you’re on stage or presenting at work, sound like you. Be genuine. Ideas for persuading others: Make it easy for others to say yes Social proof - Show that others are doing it (this is why companies put the logos of their customers on their website) Know when to appeal to the head or the heart. Typically, it’s the heart and emotion when speaking to those who work for you. And it’s your head when speaking to your boss. This is nuanced though and not black and white. Remember, there are two types of people: Those who make their boss's life easier or harder. Be the former. Pitching... Miles Teller in the TV show The Offer. Instead of trying to convince the mob boss to allow him to make the movie, he offered to show him the script and collaborate with him. The best pitches invite others to be co-creators. The motivation framework: Autonomy: The desire to direct our own lives. Giving people more control over their work or tasks can enhance motivation and performance. Mastery: The urge to get better at something that matters. People are more motivated when they see progress and can develop their skills. Purpose: The feeling that what we do is important and has meaning. Connecting tasks or jobs to a larger cause can be a powerful motivator. "If you're not confident, don't be self-deprecating." To Sell is Human - "We're all in sales... Convincing, cajoling, persuading." Make it easy for people to say yes... That's what the best salespeople do. Social Cues -- From Robert Cialdini - People look around for cues. That's why companies put logos of their customers on their websites. So others look and say, "Oh, they are with them, I guess we can be too." Know when to appeal to the head or heart. "When managing up, it's usually their head. When managing down, it's usually their heart." Processing fluency - Make it sticky. Memorable. Rhyme. Repetition. Repetition. Repetition.
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    Notes:

    Arthur grew up with one goal - To be the world’s greatest French horn player. He learned that striving for something was fungible across all fields of life. It was a great laboratory for learning. Intrinsic vs Extrinsic motivation - Intrinsic motivation comes from an internal desire to accomplish a goal, while extrinsic motivation comes from external rewards and praise. "Misery comes from excessive auto-focus." Misery comes from thinking about yourself too much and not enough about helping others. The curse of the strive... All happiness comes from progress. The arrival is not the goal. How to be happy while striving: Be grateful - Write it down. Do it daily. Always look to help others. "All research is 'me-search.'" The Four Idols: Money, Power, Pleasure, and Prestige/Fame. We talked through ours
 What are yours? The Four Focus areas to help with happiness Faith Family Friendship Serving Others Define your purpose. Write it down. Understand why you're here. Mine = "To inspire others to value and pursue excellence." Too many people are ok with mediocrity. We should strive for more. Oprah Winfrey is the same person everywhere she goes. She is genuine and authentic to all. Arthur's column helped Oprah stay positive and happy through the pandemic. So much so that she called him and asked to meet. And eventually, write a book together. That book became a #1 best-seller. #1 Life Hack: "Don't lie ever." Arthur is jacked (in great shape). Taking care of your body helps with unhappiness. Wake up 1.5 hours before dawn. Work out hard. Lift weights. Do challenging cardio. Life/Career Advice: Don't worry too much about the first job out of college. Don't sacrifice relationships. Bring love to every relationship and be great at what you do. Be excellent. Emanate love and show excellence.
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    “I looked at these guys (homeless) and demanded nothing but pure excellence from them. And it was almost as if they were waiting for someone to do that.” Set high expectations for people. Believe in them. Care for them. Support them. Love them. And watch what happens. This is leadership. Nobody runs by themselves. What a great life motto. We all need people. Anne believes in the importance of community and doing hard things together. Her mindset was fostered, in sometimes complicated ways, by her childhood home life, she says. At age 16, her parents divorced after her father gambled away their family savings. To cope, Mahlum started running and became hyper-focused on the idea of controlling her own life. When others are playing defense, go on offense. When others are scared, get aggressive (easier said than done). Anne did it. "Running is the vehicle we're using to create community and positive reinforcement." "If you want to make change, you have to help others see that they can do it. You can't force it on them." How to build a great non-profit: Identity - Each group had team names Need team leaders, people to map out logistics, and volunteer coordinators Need to make day 1 incredible. Launch BIG. Target the right people - In Anne's case, it was executives who were runners... Decision makers who appreciated running. Goals - Work backwards. Set a date and then do whatever it takes to hit that launch date. solidcore -- Anne thought big from the beginning. She was opening her second location almost the same time her first location went live. She always wanted to scale it and thought about it from Day 1. Important to hire great coaches. They needed a great personality and had to make every member feel welcome. Learn everyone's name. Say their name. Anne learned from How to Win Friends and Influence People Risk-Taker - Step into uncertainty. That's how you build confidence. "I always bet on myself." Action builds confidence. Push past the uncertainty. Create evidence for yourself. Make the things that were previously uncomfortable for you more comfortable now by taking action. When others are playing defense, go on offense. That creates your edge
 Anne's plan was always to sell Solidcore... Her strength is in bringing concepts to life and building communities, rather than sustaining them over time. The same month she exited the company, she opened her next venture, a New York-based fitness studio chain called Ambition.
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    Ask deep questions – A deep question asks about someone’s values, beliefs, judgments, or experiences, rather than just facts. A deep question asks people to talk about how they feel. Asking a deep question should feel like sharing. NASA listened to how people laughed and if they possessed a genuine matching quality. Not performative or inauthentic, but people who connect with others by matching their energy. The 4 Rules of a learning conversation: Pay attention to what type of conversation is occurring Share your goals, ask what others are seeking Ask about others' feelings and share your own Explore if identities are important to this discussion The How Do We Feel conversation: What can we learn about listening from Nicholas Epley? (Psychology Professor). (Everyone knows how to listen deeply. If a podcast or something is interesting, nobody struggles to listen). Epley didn’t teach them how to listen. He urged them to have more interesting and meaningful conversations. To talk about feelings. When we talk about feelings, something magical happens. Other people can’t help but listen to us. Practical actions to take: Ask Deep Questions: Instead of sticking to surface-level topics, ask questions that invite people to share their values, beliefs, or significant experiences. For instance, if someone mentions they are a doctor, ask them what inspired them to pursue medicine. Prove You're Listening: Demonstrate that you are actively listening by asking follow-up questions or repeating back what the other person has said to ensure understanding. Match Emotional Tone: Pay attention to the other person's emotional state and match it appropriately. If someone is sharing something emotional, respond with empathy rather than attempting to offer solutions immediately. Understand the Social Identity: Be mindful of the social identities that might be important in a conversation. This awareness can enhance understanding and connection by showing respect for the experiences and viewpoints shaped by those identities. Charles shared that understanding whether a conversation is emotional, social, or practical is crucial, especially in leadership and educational settings. Teachers, for instance, are taught to ask students if they want to be helped, heard, or hugged—a reminder that recognizing the intent behind communications is key to providing appropriate support and connection. Time Stamps 01:06 Educational Choices and Parental Guidance 02:03 Reporting from Iraq: A Journalist's Perspective 03:41 The Bike Messenger Experience 05:47 The Harvard Study and Its Impact 09:23 Felix Sagala: The Art of Deep Communication 13:30 Mastering the Skills of Super Communication 20:25 Connecting with Strangers: Nicholas Epley's Experiment 21:20 Emotional Intelligence in Space: NASA's Challenge 24:51 The Matching Principle: Authentic vs. Fake 32:27 Insights from The Big Bang Theory Writers 35:36 The Art of Learning Conversations
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    Episode #593: Kim Campbell - Contingency Planning, Responding to Adversity, Earning Trust & Respect, Flying in the Face of Fear, and How To Run a Debrief

    Aviate, Navigate, Communicate - "Aviate, navigate, communicate" is a fundamental principle in aviation that pilots learn early in flight training. It's a priority order that helps pilots stay focused and in control, even when they're under pressure or distracted: Aviate: Keep the plane flying Navigate: Figure out where you are and where you're going Communicate: Talk to air traffic control (ATC) or someone else as needed On March 20, 2003, Kim wrote letters to her loved ones in case she died in battle. Prepare, practice, and plan for contingencies. My college football coach, the late great, Terry Hoeppner used to always say, have a plan, work the plan, plan for the unexpected. As leaders, it’s on us to prepare, practice, and plan for contingencies. You don’t have to get ready if you stay ready. I love the way Kim’s dad helped support her dream to be a fighter pilot. If you want to do this, you have to put in the work. Run hills, and do pull-ups every time you go to the bathroom. He didn’t just tell her you can do whatever you want
 He created opportunities for Kim to do the necessary work to achieve what she wanted. Kim’s telling of the story of how she was hit and how she responded. An amazing example of responding in the face of fear, dealing with adversity in a calm, poised manner, and making a tough decision. Kim’s training and her attitude is what set her apart and saved her life. Response to Rejection: Initially Kim was rejected by the Air Force Academy because of a low SAT score. In response, instead of quitting and moving on, she wrote a letter to them every week stating why they should accept her
 Which they eventually did. Dealing with fear: What's most important is what we do in the face of fear. We can't freeze. We must take action. The Debrief: Check your rank and ego at the door. Write all the objectives down. Next to each one, grade it a plus or a minus. Find the root causes of each mistake. What lessons can we learn from our mistakes? What will we change for our next mission based on what we learned? Share lessons learned beyond that room. Johnny Bravo - Be humble, approachable, and credible. That's how you earn trust and respect and inspire others to follow.
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    Notes:

    Commonalities of excellent coaches: Not defensive Respond well to feedback Ability to learn "Leadership can't be taught but it can be learned." Coaching is not therapy, but it can be therapy-adjacent. It's not telling people what to do and it's not just asking questions. It's a combination of all of them. There is ample research on the benefits of writing. It clarifies your thinking. The questions to ask someone who might need an executive coach: Why do you want a coach? Why now? What do you hope to get out of it? What do great leaders do? First, do no harm. Walk the talk. Be an embodiment of the culture. Have high standards Take risks Coach people up Train people "Coaching is accomplishment through others." "Feedback is not a gift." Feedback is data. Signal and noise. Signal - Important and good. Noise - Byproduct of someone's distorted lens. "Praise, Criticism, Praise (PCP) is terrible." Don't give the compliment sandwich. It's disingenuous. How leaders best overcome adversity – The most critical skill is "adaptive capacity..." It’s composed of two primary qualities: the ability to grasp context, and hardiness. Coaching - Asking evocative questions, ensuring the other person feels heard, and actively conveying empathy remain the foundations of coaching. Connect: Establish and renew the interpersonal connection, followed by an open-ended question. Reflect: Having elicited a response, reflect back the essence of the other person's comments. Direct: Focus their attention on a particular aspect of their response that invites further exploration. Support and Challenge - A client once said, “It feels like you’re always in my corner, but you never hesitate to challenge me.” Master the Playbook, Throw it Away - Coaching involves a continuous and cyclical process of learning, unlearning, and relearning. Power Dynamics - The longer I coach, the more I appreciate and value the work of Jeff Pfeffer, a leading scholar on power. philosopher Ernest Becker: "If you are wrong about power, you don't get a chance to be right about anything else." "Meaningful coaching is always an emotionally intimate experience, no matter what’s being discussed. In part this is a function of the context: two people talking directly to each other with no distractions... Intimacy in a coaching relationship also results from a willingness to 'make the private public'--to share with another person the thoughts and feelings that we usually keep to ourselves... And yet an essential factor that makes such intimacy possible is a clear set of boundaries defining the relationship, which creates an inevitable and necessary sense of distance..."
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    Ryan Holiday is one of the world's bestselling living philosophers. His books like The Obstacle Is the Way, Ego Is the Enemy, The Daily Stoic, and the #1 New York Times bestseller Stillness Is the Key appear in more than 40 languages and have sold more than 5 million copies. His latest book (a #1 NY Times Best-Seller) is called Right Thing, Right Now. This conversation was recorded in person at Ryan's bookstore, The Painted Porch, which sits on historic Main St in Bastrop, Texas.

    Notes:

    June 16, 2024 – Birthday and Father’s Day. How does stoicism impact you as a dad? “What’s at stake today is how they remember you 20 years from now.” Choose a North Star -- Choosing a North Star can function as a compass professionally, personally, and morally. Most people don’t do the work to figure out what their North Star is
 Most people default to what others do, and then they end up comparing themselves to others. Ryan Holiday's North Star? Writing... Pay the taxes of life gladly: Not just from the government. Annoying people are a tax on being outside your house. Delays are a tax on travel. Haters are a tax on having a YouTube channel. There’s a tax on everything in life. You can whine. Or you can pay them gladly. Oscar Wilde wrote in The Portrait of Dorian Grey “The aim of life is self-development. To realize one’s nature perfectly. That is what each of us is here for.” —- What are you here for? Stoicism - "A stoic doesn't control what happens but they focus on how to respond to what happened. The virtues of stoicism are courage, discipline, justice, and wisdom." Build a coaching tree -- Popovich reference - and his coaching tree - how do we get better at making a goal to build a forest of leaders? What’s interesting about Pop’s coaching tree is there is a huge diversity of what he’s created. What’s interesting is the coaches who have learned from him are all different - they’re not replicas of Coach Popovich. RC Buford (GM of the San Antonio Spurs) said, "We have a good coaching tree. That's what we do here. In all roles." A shocking number of players have decided to stay in San Antonio, so much so that they have an alumni locker room in their practice facility because they choose to stick around afterward. "I love the idea of “hey we’re an organization, and we want to win, but our ultimate job is to bring good people in, and bring them better, and learn from them along the way." "We don’t talk enough about the bad coaching trees
 ultimately you measure greatness about how replicable their system is and others can take it and use it as well. Don’t just judge people on their wins, but on their coaching tree
 or lack thereof. When you’re hiring someone, can you both be on the same page - and there’s clarity. When I get invited to something, who am I bringing? Or when it’s a specific project, who on my team will crush it with me or on their own? Understanding that this will be a tour of duty. Robert Greene - "Robert knew I wanted to be a writer and he knew what I wanted to do, and it allowed me to realize that he was letting me do this to understand how the whole writing process works. If somebody wants to work with someone else, what’s the best way to reach out to that person, to try and get your foot in the door." Mentors: (Advice to mentees) "Don’t say 'I’ll do whatever, or I’ll do anything,' I don’t need anything done, I have very specific things that need to be done. Don’t present them with the problem of you
. Present them with the problem they have and several ideas that you have to potentially help. Be specific and present a solution to a potential problem that maybe they haven’t thought about yet." Keep your hands clean - the difference between Patrick Reed and Rory McIlroy. Be kind — JM Barrie, the creator of Peter Pan said in 1902, “Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight? Always try to be a little kinder than is necessary.” Discipline is a “me” virtue. Justice is a “we” virtue. Make "Good" Trouble - "If you got into this to gain a lot of fans, you’ll never do anything to lose fans
.. you don’t have the fans, the fans have you
 it’s the other way around. There’s a balance, I don’t want to speak up on every divisive issue, but at the same time if you’re not speaking up on things that you think are important, and you keep silent, then you’re creating a form of death, and you’re hurting other people that could potentially learn from your words and thoughts
 You have to think about how you want to use your platform and the authority you have. It’s easy to say politicians live this way, but when’s the last time you spoke up on something you didn’t agree on?" President Truman - "An incredible example of an ordinary person doing extraordinary things
 the last president to not have a college degree. He educated himself and had core values and a sense that he was obligated by the constitution, human decency, and trying to do what was right. He had a strong moral code that guided him in difficult stances, and he had confidence and security. When we think of Presidents and Generals who have outward accomplishments, what I love about Truman is that he watched everyone else steal millions of dollars and he continued to pay off his bankruptcy debts. It doesn’t matter that everyone else is doing it
 I’m not going to do it." Goal Setting - "I don’t set any goals
” I just do the work every day, our goals are usually outcome specific and they’re rooted in what are other people going to think about the outcome of this. If I have a goal, they’re not geared towards a win or an outcome
 the goal is to wake up and do
 and I do it daily." The desk where we recorded: Was owned by Joan Didion... "Objects of history get me excited. My vice is I collect historically significant things, at some point, I’m going to re-sell the table
 now other people have sat at it, and so I’ll probably re-sell it and donate the money
 ”significant objects”.. a guy buys a random piece of junk on eBay, and then he’d have a writer write a story about the item and then they’d resell it and people would pay more money for it." Why is his publisher having him re-do the entire audio for the 10th anniversary of The Obstacle is The Way (instead of Ryan just reading the updated parts): "My voice is ten years older. A lot has happened in those ten years."
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    Notes:

    Nat Eliason studied philosophy at Carnegie Mellon University. Since he started publishing his writing in 2013, his work has been read by millions of people and spun out multiple businesses ranging from a marketing agency to a cafe. He’s the author of Crytpo Confidential: Winning and Losing Millions in the New Frontier of Finance.

    How to make our days more memorable? Throw parties with 3-4 different phases. When taking your loved one out on a date, have 3 different parts. Implement homework for life. Write down the stories of each day. This helps you remember them more. Do Hard Things – Our self-image is composed of historical evidence of our abilities. The more hard things you push yourself to do, the more competent you will see yourself to be. "Build up your identity of being a capable person." "Money corrupts quickly." It’s never the right time. Any time you catch yourself saying “Oh it’ll be a better time later,” you’re probably just scared. Or unclear on what to do. There is never a right time for the big things in life. Moonwalking with Einstein -- Memory competitions. Die with Zero -- Create memory dividends (Bill Perkins). Be in the moment. Homework for Life (Matthew Dicks). Nat's birthday this year was the first time he ever felt sad (on a birthday)... Why? "It feels like it's going by quicker than it ever has." Create time with texture? "Mine workers have time with texture. I'm not sure that's memorable or desirable." Crypto Confidential is the roller coaster story of getting rich, going broke, scamming, and getting scammed. It’s a narrative of Nat’s personal journey through the world of crypto, but it’s also a revealing look at exactly how the crypto sausage gets made—and how we can all be more educated participants during the next inevitable bull run. Money can buy happiness. So long as you spend it on upgrading and expanding the things that make you happy, instead of using it to play status games or on fleeting experiences.
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    Notes:

    How to create a learning organization - Set the tone at the top. The senior leader needs to model this behavior. Create peer groups at your place of work. Team learning is important. Give people the responsibility to lead training sessions. Support your teammates. Pay for them to go to conferences, hire coaches, and learn. Commonalities among leaders who sustain excellence: They are curious. They have no confirmation bias. They have high standards. They respect all members of their team. They have a vision and goals and they share them with their team. GPS - Goals, Perspectives, Strategy. Process -- Full transparency, one meeting per week. Start with a story about a member at each meeting. "If you know what to do, what would you do?" Help high-integrity leaders make good decisions for their company, family, and community. Hiring "must-haves" They believe in the mission They don't think they're better than others They listen They collaborate well Advice: Give back what you can to help others. Be generous. Learn. Get away from bad bosses. Be balanced. The power of being part of a peer accountability group – I’ve learned firsthand the impact this has on leaders through my Learning Leader Circles. The differences between leading, managing, and coaching, and why you must do all three... Leader - Set direction, make sense of the outside world Manager - Know the details Coach - Help you activate what you already know