Folgen
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A pizza toast to a three-day weekend, even if that’s not a true statement when you’re listening. Make sure to use a food probe device (patent pending) before tasting it. You can find them at any old consignment store, right next to the dozens of knockoff copies of that book by a former president businessman.
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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart
Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t
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Recording this podcast takes finesse, much like fly fishing. Chris drops some knowledge about drippy adventure gear (not his pants), Eli lands the perfect Leo-based alternative title, and we’ve decided to change the show name to D’Best ArthurP’cast.
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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart
Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t
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Fehlende Folgen?
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Our contractors had some concerns during their inspection of this episode. They found too many inaccurate Oppenheimer references. Also, a complete inability to roll r’s (or l’s or any consonants really). They recommend re-specing into luck to address these problems. Your best bet to find clovers would be that patch of dirt and garbage where the marble players are at. NOW SCATTER!
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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart
Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t
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Three ways to tell if your crush is into you:
They grab pizza like a book.
They wear funeral clothes to the opera.
Their armpit farts kill at the Nobel Awards Presentation.
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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart
Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t
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“Time gets weird, I think it’s been looped. Binky dreams big, and Arthur gets duped. Seinfeld is dangerous, bad for your health. If it’s a mafioso’s birthday, you better share the wealth.”
A poem from a 20th century writer you’ve never heard of (but now you have!)
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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart
Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t
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History buffs are in for a TREAT, unless they’re fans of a certain type of economic system that will not be mentioned. Hint: It’s modeled after Monopoly (which Eli won’t play if there are too many rules). Yabba dabba doo!
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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart
Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t
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Your top headlines this week: “America’s Horn Shortage: Fact or Fiction?” “Horses Hoof it out of Elwood to Erie” “Bitzi’s Beau No Mo Fo Sho” and “Top Ten Thangs to Protect Those Fangs”
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Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t
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You’re traveling through another dimension…one where bicycle helmets are a cultural taboo. Where apology videos no longer cut it. And everyone’s neighbor teaches life lessons the hard way. Your destination? The Sugarbowl eerie music cue
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Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t
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You don’t need to tell us your childhood nickname to listen to this episode, but… it would even the playing field a bit since we both reveal ours. We see Ed in the best light he’s ever been in, and Binky carries out his diabolical “Silence is Golden” master plan.
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We hope you’ve got your magical hoods over your normal clothes, because it’s about to get mystical up in here. Join Eli on his “Independent Studies” or Chris for “Passable Impressions 101”. But whatever you do, do not feed the Sorting Sow lippy bacon.
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Hello good sir/madam/person! May I interest you in a mouse-watering podcast episode? It’s for a good cause. Our August Rush band got "Whiplash"ed out of college and need new instruments to slap. We followed the podcast recipe EXACTLY, so if hives show up on your skin, it’s unrelated.
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Honk!
That’s goose for, “What have you got in your pockets? Fleshy hand tongs? Rustling bushes? Unorganized forks from the dishwasher? Those will all fetch you a pretty penny at the evil pawn shop.”
Honk.
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The internet's favorite Arthur Heads unite for this special collab episode with Will of Elwood City Limits! With the new official Arthur pod coming out, we had to get together and share our thoughts. We hope you enjoy it; it was a blast to record!
A HUGE thank you to Will for inviting us; we're looking forward to more collabs in the future!
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We’ll let you leave the podcast once your plate is clean. Just kidding, you can eat what you want…even your own grandma! Speaking of grandparents, be nice to them. You don’t want to be too late and have to use a ouija board (NOT RECOMMENDED BY THE AMBIGUOUS WITCH COUNSEL)
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We’ll let you leave the podcast once your plate is clean. Just kidding, you can eat what you want…even your own grandma! Speaking of grandparents, be nice to them. You don’t want to be too late and have to use a ouija board (NOT RECOMMENDED BY THE AMBIGUOUS WITCH COUNSEL.)
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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart
Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t
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Are you familiar with “stocks”? If you know someone who is, please send them our way because Chris invested in some weird stuff like cow cud and Leo Dicaprio masks. Plus, our lawyer turned out to be a stack of three or four 5-year-olds in a business suit. At least this episode is funny (not like Eli’s knock-knock jokes). #Bruhster
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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart
Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t
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Why don’t you make like a tree and listen to this episode? Uh oh. Looks like there’s a naughty cat up in your branches. Better call it out with “Stern Pet Parent Voice”. If the cat breaks a branch, just move the pain somewhere else! Maybe to Tim Allen! Use code “SUGARBOSE” at checkout.
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Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t
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If we are elected as podcast presidents, we promise to do the following:
A personal alarm DJ for every citizen!
A creepy groundskeeper for every haunted house!
And of course…Pizza Fridays nationwide (not including Alaska, Hawaii, and island territories.)
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You are becoming Chris and Eli…
What should we put in the description? The ostrich-sized chimps were a great bit. Maybe sprinkle in the Crosswire Lore Dump and combine it with crabs? Whatever we pick will be fine, it’ll be a treat for a very particular kind of listener who reads these!
Okay, now GET OUT OF OUR ITCHY HEADS
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Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t
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Oh, so you want to listen to an episode of our podcast huh? Well now you have to listen to ALL OF THEM! That’s called good parenting. We don’t want to do a bad job and get called out by literally everyone on the street. We’d be trash, like Thomas Edison’s reputation!
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Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t
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