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Strap on your Manolo Blahniks and pour yourself a Cosmopolitan, because weâre jetting back into the dating world circa 2004!
On the latest episode of âThriving Between the Linesâ - the podcast examining personal development books through the lens of intersectionality, we do a cheeky little dive into one of the most influential dating books of the 2000s, Heâs Just Not That Into You: the No Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys, by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo.
These authors were key contributors to Sex and the City, hence our sloppy references to the show đ.
So, do these so-called âtruthsâ about dating hold up 20 years later? Listen to our queer, neurodivergent, polyamorous, and otherwise traumatised arses give OUR take on yet another book that clearly wasnât meant for âusâ! Whether youâre a Charlotte or a Carrie, an Ayden or a Big, or thinking âwho the hell are you even talking about?â This one is for you!
Send us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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Meka used to hate the movie Labyrinth. I know, can you believe that?? It took him YEARS to understand, as a trans person, what was behind that hate.
I think y'all might see where this is going đ.
Have a listen!
Kindest regards,
Leslie Crudup Villagarcia
-Your No-Nonsense Life Coach-Send us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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Fehlende Folgen?
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How can we balance our energy levels to ensure our partners are being treated equitable? How can we prevent New Relationship Energy (NRE) from derailing our existing relationships? In this footnote, Meka explores these questions from the perspective of a person with chronically low energy levels.
Send us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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This footnote explores Meka's experience of one of the questions most frequently asked to polyamorous folks, 'But, don't you get jealous?'
There are many ways to respond to jealousy and not every polyam person reacts to it in the same way. So what is our take on the subject? Listen and find out!
Kindest regards,
Leslie and MekaSend us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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The subject of polyamory often comes up in our book-specific episodes, as it is one of the lenses through which Meka and I experience the world. In personal development writing, especially where relationships are concerned, there is often an assumption that readers are both monogamous and cisgender/heterosexual (cishet).
Of course, WE know the truth! đ We are loud and proud about our queerness and our ethical non-monogamy, so we figured now is a good time to give a little rundown of some useful books and learning resources for folks interested in learning more about polyamorous relationships.
So check it out!
Kindest regards,
Leslie and Meka
Visit leslievcoaching.com to book a free intro polyamory coaching session!
Reference (content warning for sexual violence and misogynoir):
https://ualr.edu/socialchange/2018/04/15/reflection-history-sexual-assault-laws-united-states/Send us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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In the latest episode of Thriving Between the Lines, Meka shares his powerful journey of self-discovery, courage, and embracing his true identity! Meka speaks very openly about his own experience transitioning from female to male and how it allowed him to finally see a future for himself.
With all the references we make to the lack of trans representation in personal development books, we figured now is a good time to give a more in-depth look at where Mekaâs perspective on the subject comes from.Please note that Mekaâs story is very much his own! He cautions against using his story as a representation of all trans peopleâs experiences. And as much as HE loves to share all the details of his bottom surgery (phalloplasty), please donât go around asking other trans folks about whatâs happening between their legs!!
Have a listen and send us some love :)
Kindest regards,
Leslie Crudup Villagarcia
-Your No-Nonsense, Wonât-Let-Anyone-F***-With-My-Trans-Homies, Life Coach-
Send us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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In this Footnote, Leslie tells a story about how her ex weaponised non-violent communication against her.
Let this be a reminder that power imbalances need to be taken into consideration when recommending NVC as a mediation strategy! Otherwise, those with oppression in mind can use it to bolster their oppressive behaviours.Send us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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In this footnote, Meka explores the main points from an article by Lori S. Katz Ph.D. In the article, she offers 5 essential strategies for communication in the context of sexual trauma.
Read the full article below:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/healing-from-sexual-trauma/202008/5-essential-strategies-for-effective-communicationSend us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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"What could possibly be wrong with Non-Violent Communication? Haven't you two gone a bit too far with your cheeky deep dives this time??" I hear you ask. Well, listen to what we have to say and decide if, perhaps, we haven't gone far enough! We expect a more responsible presentation of influential concepts from people as world-renowned as the late Marshall B. Rosenberg.
Look, it's not that the concept of non-violent communication (NVC) is bad, as such. In fact, we both dig it as a method of communication. Howeverrrrrr....as usual, it's the way the source material presents the concept that we need to dive into. And dive into it we did! We expect a more responsible presentation of influential concepts from people as world-renowned as the late Marshall B. Rosenberg. For anyone out there pushing NVC as the be-all-and-end-all of mediation techniques, take note that it's extremely important to carefully consider how parts of the process may hit very differently for people from marginalised backgrounds!
Content warning: mention of sexual assault and LOTS of racial gaslighting!
more resources:
My first Black Lives Matter speech: https://youtu.be/2i3LbOTYGco?si=7EAyqeKfxh7MA25h
My 4th of July Black Lives Matter speech: https://youtu.be/YsVHHaBQrZI?si=tMdQaYW1cvTChuWh
Music Video: "Black" by Dave - https://youtu.be/mXLS2IzZSdg?si=RJxnoThFm_C7RC0LSend us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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Content warning: Frank discussion of pregnancy loss
This footnote is about things not to say when someone has had a miscarriage.
Have you ever wondered what to say to support a friend who has experienced pregnancy loss? Well, most of the time it's not about what you say, but about how well you listen! Leslie speaks very openly about her history with recurrent pregnancy losses, and in this footnote, she shares some of the most frustrating responses she heard repeatedly during that period in her life.
And here's some bonus content from the Leslie V. Coaching Youtube channel:
What NOT to say to someone who has miscarried
And on that cheerful note, happy listening :)Send us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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Poor people donât want money enough, apparently đ. And in other news, the reason you attract bad people is that you are a bad person! âŠ.Yeah, this was all news to us as well.
Join us, Leslie and Meka, as we dissect yet another book that completely dismisses the role of privilege on success, You Are a Badass, by Jen Sincero. While there are some things this book gets right, there are many things it gets veryâŠvery wrong. In this episode, we dive into the authorâs perspectives on self-perception, the law of attraction, and money. We also share our own perspectives on what it really takes to be a badass, especially as members of marginalised communities.
So have a listen and hear what we have to say about this book through the lens of intersectionality!
Donât forget to shoot us a message and tell us what you think about this episode! Find us on Instagram @leslievcoaching
Links to things referenced in this chapter:
Bail: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)
One the subject of âinternalised homophobiaâ, hereâs a luscious take-down of one of Sinceroâs other books, by Savy Writes on YouTubeRANT REVIEW: Jen Sincero's BIG BOOK OF BISEXUAL ERASURE
Send us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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Here's another previously unpublished footnote from our episode on No Excuses, by Brian Tracy. In this footnote, Leslie goes off about toxic behaviours that are accepted in too many monogamous relationships.
We speak very openly about being both queer and polyamorous, so when Tracy insists that married people must avoid engaging with members of 'the opposite sex' except for the purpose of business, there's no way we're not going to have something to say about this!
Note: Toxic Monogamy is very different from healthy forms of monogamy. We hope that this footnote will help more people understand the difference.
Also, Meka will be back from the US soon, so we're going to get back into publishing full episodes ASAP! Watch this space.Send us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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Here's another previously unpublished footnote from way back in Chapter 2, in which we spoke about The Lifechanging Magic of Tidying Up, by Marie Kondo!
In this footnote, Meka tells us about an app he uses to prevent gaining clutter by accidentally re-buying things.
Different systems work for different people, and for those of us who are neurodivergent, it's even more important to find our own ways to keep ourselves...reasonably organised :)
So, do you have a system for staying organised? Do you need one? Let's talk about it! Book a free introductory life coaching consultation at leslievcoaching.comSend us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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Here's a previously unpublished footnote to keep y'all warm while Meka is away being a genius! This was originally attached to Chapter 8: Girl Wash Your Face, by Rachel Hollis.
In this footnote, Meka explains the difference between Toxic Positivity and having an overall positive mindset. Toxic Positivity is incredibly harmful, yet so heavily present in a lot of self-help media. So why is it such a problem? Listen and find out!
Kindest regards,
Leslie Crudup Villagarcia
-Your No-Nonsense Life Coach-Send us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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content warning: eating disorders, spiritual abuse, suicidal ideation, cult mentality
This is the story of why Meka had to stop watching to documentary part way through. Let this be another cautionary tale for anyone who still turns to Robbins and people like him for 'guidance' or puts self-help gurus on a pedestal.Send us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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This is a story about Leslie's first Success Resources experience (2018), which was also her first and only live Tony Robbins experience. Like, seriously, she had to make herself a Bingo card for day 2 just to stay engaged. Have a listen!
A screenshot of the Bingo card in question
Also, Mike Winnet gets a mention here, so definitely check out his videos about Success Resources and similar organisations. Here's one to get you started:
The Contrepreneur Formula ExposedSend us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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Tony Robbins has been upheld as the number 1 personal development guru of our time. BUT is he doing more harm than good? And should someone with such power in the self help world be held to a higher standard of ethics?
In this chapter, weâve changed things up a little bit and sunk our teeth into a documentary, Tony Robbins: I Am Not Your Guru, rather than a book. Weâve done this for a few reasons:
Meka is heading overseas to be a genius for a few weeks and has been super busy preparing for the trip.This documentary gives enough of a look at what Tony Robbins is about that we donât have to cover one of his many bestselling books in order to examine the influence he has had on society.We just kinda felt like it, oKAY!So, letâs get this content/language warning out of the way firstâŠ
This episode deals with challenging themes including suicide, abuse, trauma, and masculine/feminine polarity. Do you suppose the doco deals with these in a sensitive, trauma-informed manner?.......nahhhh. Also prepare for loads of F-bombs because #edgy đ€
Get us in your ears!
Kindest Regards,
Leslie Crudup Villagarcia
-Your No-Nonsense Life Coach-
Resources:
Youtube: Tony Robbins Does Not Understand The #MeToo Movement | NowThis
Punishing Followers And Preying On The Vulnerable: A Timeline Of The Tony Robbins Investigation - GQ MagazineUnlimited Power: A Buzzfeed News investigation
Youtube: The Problem with Tony Robbins (Deep-Dive - Pt.1) - mĂŒnecatSend us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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So, we've been producing Thriving Between the Lines for a little while now so, we figured it's about time we do a little roundup of our experience thus far.
When we set out to create a podcast examining personal development books through the lens of intersectionality, we weren't exactly sure what we were signing up for. We just knew that the topic was so important to us that we were ready to endure whatever headaches were required to get the project off the ground!
In this episode, we tell the story of how we got started and some of the things we've learned so far. We also talk about some of the original plans that didn't quite pan out, as well as how we've overcome the challenges we've faced along the way.
Have a listen, will ya? :) And don't forget to rate us!
Kindest regards,
Leslie Crudup Villagarcia
-Your No-Nonsense Life Coach-
Send us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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This is a little story about the sorts of things that used to give Leslie anxiety and how that all changed once she became a mum.
Send us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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This is a little story about a piece of art Meka once made as an illustration of his worry and anxiety.
Have you ever tried to shove your worries into a box? Then perhaps you can relate. Click below to see the image in question:
Meka's worry boxSend us a text
linktr.ee/leslievcoaching - Get in touch with us and book a free intro. Life Coaching consult!
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