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The court system is a whole culture unto itself! It has its own language and customs and procedures, and if you do not understand how the system works, that could hurt you in your divorce case. Kris breaks down what questions to ask when hiring an attorney all the way to what to do when in court.
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the family court system and what questions to ask when you go to hire an attorney. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
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Have you ever had your parentâs voice come flying out of your mouth? Nine times out of ten that happened when you were stressed out, and it was a knee-jerk reaction. What can you do when that happens? Are you aware of all of the bad parenting that your dysfunctional family of origin gave you and how that plays out in your own parenting?
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses bad parenting that we experienced from our dysfunctional families of origin and the possible fleas that we picked up. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
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Fehlende Folgen?
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For many of us that came out of families of origin that were toxic, we truly do not know what healthy looks like. So what behaviors are healthy? What should we be looking for in family, friends, partners, or even co-workers? What does healthy actually look like?
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses what healthy family, friends, partners etc. look like.
The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
Resource/link mentioned in this episode: Six Characteristics of a Healthy Family
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When a person comes out of an abusive relationship, they almost inevitably have anxiety. When a person is stressed out and at survival the amygdala enlarges and the anxiety increases. The good news is that with mindfulness, the amygdala shrinks.
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses anxiety and why almost every single survivor of abuse has anxiety. She also discusses what you can do to help mitigate it.
Link mentioned in this episode: Signs of Anxiety, PsychologyToday.com
The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
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Have you ever wondered why the other parent did not protect you? Have you wondered why people just allow abuse to occur? What gets in the way of people acting to protect? These and many more questions will be answered in this weeks episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez discussing When People Do Nothing!
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses why the other parent did not protect us and what might get in the way of by standers actually jumping in to help. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
Links to resources mentioned in this episode:
When Good People Do Nothing Supreme Court Overturns Stalkerâs Conviction In First Amendment Case Over âTrue Threatsâ Child Abuse and the Role of Parental Denial -
Have you ever wondered why some people just cannot make a decision without asking everyone and anyone?
What causes a person not to trust their own judgment?
Have you ever met someone who just wanted to be taken care of to the point of clinginess? That would be someone with a dependent personality.
In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses people with dependent personality. What it is, why it is, and what to do about it!
The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
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In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the smear campaign, why they do it, how it âbenefitsâ them, and who believes it.
When a breakup with an abuser happens, have you ever wondered why they suddenly go on a rampage trying to discredit their former target of abuse? What does an abuser get out of such egregious behavior? Why do people believe them? What is a flying monkey anyway? These and many more questions will be answered in this weekâs episode!
The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
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Did you know that most survivors of abuse, either by the family of origin or by a significant other, have eating disorders or issues with food? Yeah! Yet another lovely side effect of abuse. Survivors of abuse are more likely to have anorexia, bulimia, binge/purge, or overeating issues. How to help yourself is to get with a damn good trauma therapist that understands eating disorders. Write and burn letters to the people who made food/weight/looks, etc., an issue.
The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
Links mentioned in this podcast:
Your teen wants to get in shape this summer? What to say and when to worry, CNN.com
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Have you ever had someone either pooh, poo, or dismiss or actively destroy your dreams?
Have you ever wondered what would possess someone to do such a heinous thing? What drives an abuser to stop their target of abuse from reaching their potential or from doing what they love?
Well, wonder no more! Kris will break down what the payoff is for abusers who crush dreams!
The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
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In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez Kris talks about standing up for your self to your narcissistic boss, disrespectful doctors and standing up to anyone else who is being a jackwagon!
The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
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When we have been unjustly accused of doing things we didnât do, the desire to clear the air is strong. Now, if you were dealing with healthy people, clearing the air would be the right thing to do. You arenât dealing with healthy people.
Narcissists, Dark Triads, and the like LOVE to accuse the target of abuse of all sorts of things that THEY are themselves doing and then argue with or ignore the target of abuse when they try to defend themselves. It is a game where the rules are constantly changing and one in which you will never win!
The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
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Articles mentioned in this episode:
How to Set Boundaries in an Age of Oversharing. It's on Psychology Today. It's by Andrea Brandt, PhD.
Mom and Dad and TMI, and that was on Psychology Today by Peggy Drexler, PhD
Attachment in the Search for the Inner Child by Hal Shorey, PhD on Psychology Today
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In this episode of We Need To Talk With Kris Godinez, Kris discusses the difference between Dependent Personality Disorder and Codependency. The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
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So many of us have read romance novels or watched tv shows and movies, especially rom-coms, that send the wrong message. Messages like âYou CAN change them!â âStockholm syndrome is okay and will end well!â âTreat the partner like crap; they will love you more!â âLose who you are in order to become what the partner wants!â
Many of those novels, tv shows, and movies have normalized abuse in some form or another. Fairy tales are read to children, and they are particularly dysfunctional and have many themes of unrealistic relationships and abuse. Little ones grow up having those âBut it should be this way because of this book, tv, or show I saw in their heads. When our inner child is running the show, those thoughts become prevalent.
The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
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CBT works with mistaken thoughts and mistaken beliefs. One way to process said mistaken thoughts and beliefs is to JOURNAL! You probably didnât like that suggestion and you are probably wondering why I and so many therapists recommend it. Well, it all has to do with the amygdala.
Journaling, writing and burning letters, and making poetry out of our pain all take the trauma out of our heads and puts it in black and white on to paper. Some people resist journaling because they feel that it then makes the trauma ârealâ. Others are afraid of their journal being found. The funny thing is when the client finally gives themselves permission to journal, they start being able to put things in perspective and really begin the healing process! That and you need to be able to document abuse, especially if you are taking your abuser to court!
Link mentioned in the episode: 10 Good Reasons to Keep a Journal
The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
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Have you ever wondered why abusers seem to lie all the time, about, well, everything? Iâm sure youâve heard the term âpathologicalâ liar. Did you know that personality-disordered abusers lie upwards of 20 plus times a day, compared to non-personality-disordered people? Did you know that they KNOW they are lying and that it is done on purpose to create confusion and cognitive dissonance in the mind of their target of abuse?
Abusers use gaslighting, rewriting history, and denial all to create cognitive dissonance in which in coming information does not match what the victim of abuse had been told by the abuser and because the cognitive dissonance is uncomfortable the target of abuse will ignore the seemingly glaring red flags and stay with the abuser.
The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
Links to articles mentioned on the show:
Deepfake porn could be a growing problem amid AI race
Some Lie a Lot
Why Liars Tell Pointless Lies
How Cognitive Dissonance Relates to Relationships
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Do abusers use the âself-harmâ card to control and manipulate? How do you tell the difference between a real self-harm threat and one that is about manipulation? Do you have a working knowledge of the way abusers use verbal abuse and derail discussions about their behavior?
Did you know that abusers often need a âharemâ of supply and will often intentionally not introduce a target to family and friends so they donât get caught two-timing? If youâve ever been on the receiving end of a disrespectful eye roll and a dismissive âWeâve already talked about this!â then you have been an unwilling game participant of an abuser. Listen to this podcast on games they play so you can choose to opt out of their nonsense!
The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
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What is coercive control? How do abusers make their targets do what they want them to do? Did you know that trauma bonding using intermittent positive reward is coercive control? Gaslighting and hoovering, isolating the target, and controlling what the target wears or eats are all examples of coercive control.
Coercive control starts early, as in you can see it in abusive relationships in middle school and high school. Abusers push the envelope slowly, they donât come out of the gate being abusive. If you recognize any of these in your relationship or in a relationship that someone you love is in, get to a good therapist to help you either get out of the relationship or help you deal with the pain of seeing a loved one in an abusive relationship.
The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
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Have you ever noticed some people either create chaos and drama or chaos and drama seems to follow them where ever they go? Have you also noticed that as much as they claim not to like chaos and drama, they still seem to be at the center of said chaos and drama? Red flag alert! You are dealing with someone who is disordered.
You may ask yourself, âWhy? Why does this person blow up every relationship? Why does this person seem to enjoy the chaos and the drama? Why and who would want that in their lives?â Rest assured, the chaos and the drama are absolutely intentional on the part of an abuser. It serves many purposes, such as distraction so people are not focused on their wrongdoings and excitement, as many dark triads need adrenaline the way the rest of us need oxygen!
The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
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What is the definition of a toxic mother? What causes women to turn on their own children? What does that kind of physical/verbal/emotional abuse do to a child, and how does that affect adult children of toxic mothers? Toxic mothers can present one way to the âpublicâ and completely different behind closed family doors.
Growing up with a toxic mother is a roller coaster. Sometimes the abuse is obvious, and sometimes, the toxic mother is subtle but deadly. Any parent who uses fear, obligation, or guilt to manipulate and control their adult children or any child, is toxic. Either overt or covert, realizing your mother is not a âmomâ can be heartbreaking.
The full transcript of this episode can be read on our website.
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