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This week, Iâm reading your anonymous confessions, and somehow they all point to the same question: When do we finally get to stop trying to earn our lives?
We talk about perfectionism disguised as self-improvement, feeling like you need permission to share your inner world, why healing can become another full-time job, romanticizing people and patterns that hurt us, the difference between chemistry and emotional safety, and what it means when a broken phone suddenly feels like proof that life is against you.
If youâve ever felt exhausted by the pressure to keep becoming a âbetterâ version of yourself, this conversation is for you. Maybe the goal isnât to stop growing. Maybe itâs to stop believing you have to hate who you are in order to change.
Because growth doesnât have to begin with self-rejection.
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You can be kind, loyal, self-aware, and deeply caring and still lose yourself.
In this conversation with therapist, author, and trauma specialist Cynthia Schwartzberg, we explore the subtle ways self-abandonment disguises itself as love, compassion, self-improvement, and being a âgood person.â
We talk about why so many people repeat the same relationship patterns, struggle to trust themselves, over-explain their boundaries, and spend years trying to earn a sense of worth that was never supposed to be earned in the first place.
If youâve ever found yourself people-pleasing, over-functioning, fixing, proving, or putting everyone elseâs needs before your own, this episode will help you understand why, and how to start coming back to yourself.
CONNECT WITH CYNTHIA—ïž
https://www.facebook.com/Cynthasis
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https://cynthasis.com/
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Fehlende Folgen?
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What if the problem isn't that you're too sensitive? What if you've spent so much of you life anticipating other people's needs, managing their emotions, and abandoning yourself in the process that you've mistaken self sacrifice for love? When you're highly sensitive, it's easy to assume that caring means doing for others what you wish they would do for you. You notice everything. You accomodate. You give grace. You make exceptions. You bend. And when someone doesn't do the same for you it can feel like they don't care. But what if they're not uncaring? What if they're simply not abandoning themselves the way you've been abandoning yourself? In this episode, we're talking about the hidden cost of sensitivity, why self abandonment can disguise itself as kindness, and how to step measuring love by how much someone sacrifices for you. We'll explore what it looks like to focus less on what you're not getting and more on what you actually what to create in your relationships and in your life. Healing isn't becoming less sensitive it's learning that caring for yourself counts too.
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Have you ever looked back at a relationship, friendship, or season of your life and thought, âThat wasnât really meâ?
Not because someone forced you to change, but because somewhere along the way you started making decisions around someone else instead of around yourself.
In this episode, weâre talking about one of the most overlooked forms of self-abandonment: giving someone so much influence that their attention, approval, potential, or presence starts determining your choices. You lower standards, ignore your needs, make excuses, stay longer than you should, and slowly lose sight of what you actually want.
Weâll explore why so many of us do this, how it quietly erodes self-trust, and what it means to become the chooser again, not by caring less about others, but by finally including yourself in the decision-making process.
If youâve ever found yourself over-explaining someoneâs behavior, sacrificing your values to keep a connection, or wondering why you feel disconnected from yourself, this episode is for you.
Because confidence isnât getting everyone to choose you. Itâs continuing to choose yourself.
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On this episode I am talking to you guys about the reasons I have been out of my mental fog and feeling good this last week. Not in an ĂĄdrenla line performative way, but in a very genuine way. I did several things in the last week that contributed to getting more aligned with the version of myself I picture in my head like creating a more real life morning routine, making my kitchen less chaotic and planning for a full wardrobe clear out. I also kept my goals at the surface and spent this week focusing on focusing on them. If you want to listen to something to get you in the mood to make your life feel good not just look good without listening to another advice episode that inevitably points out things you donât like about yourself and your life youâre going to want to come hang out with me on this episode. <3
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If youâve ever found yourself saying âitâs fineâ when it isnât, ignoring your own needs to keep the peace, or constantly prioritizing someone elseâs comfort over your own, this episode is for you.
In todayâs conversation, weâre talking about self-abandonment in relationships: what it is, why so many of us do it, and how to stop losing ourselves in the pursuit of connection.
Weâll explore the subtle ways self-abandonment shows up, the hidden beliefs that keep it alive, and the small but powerful shifts that help you build self-trust, communicate your needs, and stay connected to yourself while loving someone else.
Because healthy relationships arenât built by becoming less of yourself. Theyâre built by bringing more of yourself to the table.
If youâve ever struggled with people-pleasing, fear of disappointing others, or feeling disconnected from your own needs, this episode will help you understand whyâand what to do instead.
Remember: you can be loving without leaving yourself behind.
â€ïžâđ„Subscribe to finally feel good enough without the pressure of perfection xoxo
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1 page of the Weâre Not Really Strangers Journal https://amzn.to/3QwNv2fHow to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Othets Deeplt and Being Deeply Seen by David Brooks- https://a.co/d/3xFVUcnâ€ïžâđ©č COME GROW WITH US â mentally stronger, emotionally smarter, and unapologetically real â€ïžâđ©č
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On this weeks episode of Confessions of a Wellish Girly I thought we would just have a causal hang out sesh. I walk you guys through where my head has been at this past week from a total crash out to something happening that through me into victim mode and the realizations that my negative feelings gave me to try to create a better life for myself. I walk you guys through my manifestation practice I utilized this week to gain clarity about what I want, identity and eliminate my limiting beliefs. and what actions thoughts, and feelings would I need to actually receive those things that I want. I think the best part of a good yap sesh is that while we are in an empowering space of personal growth thereâs no talk of what you could be doing different or better. While thats helpful we can do without the feelings of inadequacy sometimes. If you relate this episode is for you <3
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In this episode of Wellish, Sarah sits down with Ashley Banek, founder and CEO of Samara Health, for a conversation about self-trust, boundaries, medical gaslighting, and what happens when you stop waiting for permission to believe your own experience.
Ashley shares how years of misdiagnosis and being dismissed in her endometriosis journey forced her to rebuild trust with herself, advocate for her needs, and stop outsourcing her decisions to people who seemed more qualified on paper.
Together, Sarah and Ashley talk about why so many women wait to be chosen, why suffering can sometimes feel easier than change, how fear of abandonment shows up in relationships, and what it actually means to have your own back.
This conversation is for anyone learning how to trust their body, speak up sooner, stop abandoning themselves, and become the chooser in their own life.
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Weâve been taught to chase chemistry.
The butterflies. The obsession. The excitement. The feeling that someone can completely consume our thoughts.
But what if thatâs not actually what creates healthy relationships?
In this episode, weâre talking about the difference between chemistry and emotional safety and why so many of us mistake anxiety, uncertainty, and inconsistency for connection.
Youâll learn:
âą Why chemistry isnât always a sign of compatibility
âą How your nervous system influences who youâre attracted to
âą The signs of emotional safety in relationships
âą Why healthy love can feel âboringâ at first
âą How to stop asking âDo they like me?â and start asking âDo I feel safe here?â
If youâve ever confused intensity for intimacy or found yourself addicted to relationships that kept you guessing, this episode is for you.
Because the goal isnât finding someone who makes your heart race. Itâs finding someone who helps it rest.
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May felt like a month of contradictions.
I spent part of it dealing with mental health ruts, anxiety about being hard to love, panic spirals around abandonment, and the uncomfortable realization that I might be the common denominator in some of my struggles. I also found myself confronting something deeper: the idea that I donât have to be happy all the time to be worthy of love, belonging, or a good life.
At the same time, there were so many things I loved this month. New friendships. Book club. Fruit making its triumphant return to my diet. A surprisingly meaningful lesson from delayed trains. Learning what it feels like to genuinely like someone without confusing chemistry for compatibility. And slowly stepping into a softer version of myself that doesnât feel responsible for protecting herself from everything.
In this monthâs Hates & Favs, Iâm sharing the products, books, mindset shifts, relationship reflections, and life lessons that shaped May.
If youâve been navigating anxiety, self-worth, dating, friendship, growth, or simply trying to become more yourself lately, this oneâs for you.
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This monthâs confessions revealed something interesting: a lot of us are learning that just because something feels true doesnât mean it is.
Feeling burnt out doesnât mean you have a bad attitude. Feeling guilty doesnât mean youâve done something wrong. Feeling afraid doesnât mean something bad is about to happen. And feeling unfinished doesnât mean youâre broken.
In this episode of Confessions of a Wellish Listener, we're talking about workplace burnout, people-pleasing in dating, dreaming bigger before you have proof, emotional regulation without losing yourself, and the hidden downside of consuming too much self-improvement content.
If you've ever felt exhausted from trying to be a better version of yourself, this episode is for you.
In this episode:
Why burnout and a "bad attitude" aren't the same thingThe dating lesson that changed how one listener views rejectionWhat a listener's incredible Jay Shetty story teaches us about possibilityThe difference between emotional regulation and emotional suppressionWhy self-improvement can quietly turn into self-rejectionBecause sometimes the biggest growth isn't changing yourself. It's questioning the stories you've been believing about yourself.
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What if the real problem is that youâve become so self-aware, self-critical, and growth-focused that youâve forgotten how to stay on your own side?
In this episode, weâre talking about what self-compassion actually looks like when youâre someone who values accountability, emotional intelligence, and personal growth. If youâve ever struggled with feeling like being kind to yourself is lazy, delusional, or letting yourself off the hook, this conversation is for you.
Weâll unpack why self-compassion feels so uncomfortable, the hidden ways you might be abandoning yourself every day, and the mindset shift that helped me stop turning every mistake into evidence that something was wrong with me.
Because self-compassion isnât pretending youâre perfect.
Itâs refusing to become your own enemy while youâre still learning.
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Everyone wants to be emotionally intelligent until they realize it doesnât mean becoming perfectly calm, healed, or unbothered all the time.
In this episode of Confessions of a Wellish Girly, Sarah talks about the difference between hyper self-awareness and actual emotional regulation, including a very real moment this week where she reacted unfairly toward her boyfriend while trying to stop herself in real time.
She also shares a surprisingly healing moment involving lost AirPods, nervous system regulation, and the quiet ways emotional growth actually shows up in everyday life.
This episode is for the people who are trying to heal without becoming robotic. The people who are learning that emotional intelligence isnât about never reacting â itâs about taking responsibility faster, regulating sooner, and no longer glorifying your emotional chaos.
Topics include:
- emotional intelligence vs hyper self-awareness
- emotional regulation in relationships
- therapy speak vs actual healing
- nervous system regulation
- emotional maturity
- reacting vs responding
- healing perfectionism
- self-awareness and accountability
- relationship triggers
- realistic healing & growth
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If youâve been trying to become better for years but still secretly feel like youâre not enough this episode is going to hit hard.
In todayâs conversation, Iâm sits down with trauma-informed coach and intuitive healer Tori Jenae to unpack the hidden wound behind perfectionism, overachievement, people pleasing, hyper-independence, and the constant need to âfixâ yourself.
Together, we explore why chasing enoughness can actually become a form of self-rejection and how so much of modern wellness culture quietly reinforces the belief that who you are right now isnât enough.
This episode dives into:
- Why perfectionism is often a trauma response, not ambition
- The nervous system patterns behind overworking, overgiving, and burnout
- Why achieving the âdream lifeâ still doesnât create fulfillment
- How childhood wounds shape relationships and self-worth
- The difference between healthy growth and self-abandonment
- Why your body canât heal when it thinks youâre unsafe
- How to stop outsourcing your worth to productivity, appearance, relationships, or validation
- What it actually looks like to feel enough without needing to earn it
If youâve ever felt exhausted from constantly trying to improve yourself⊠this conversation will feel like exhaling.
This isnât about giving up on growth. Itâs about learning how to grow without abandoning yourself in the process.
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What if the habits you call âself-improvementâ are actually destroying your self worth?
In this episode, weâre talking about 3 extremely normalized behaviors that look like growth in self improvement culture but quietly teach you that who you are right now is never enough. From turning yourself into a constant self-improvement project, to using productivity to earn your self-respect, to confusing emotional isolation with confidence, this episode is for the person who is exhausted from trying to optimize themselves into feeling worthy.
If youâve ever felt like:
your self-worth disappears when youâre unproductiveyou canât stop âfixingâ yourselfrest makes you feel guiltyhealing has started to feel like a full-time jobyou only like yourself when youâre doing everything rightâŠthis episode is probably going to hit harder than you expected.
This isnât about becoming your âbest self.â Itâs about finally stopping the daily behaviors that make you feel like youâre never enough in the first place.
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This weekâs episode is for the people who are exhausted from abandoning themselves in the name of being âgood,â loyal, understanding, forgiving, or easy to love.
This wasnât a normal rut. It wasnât âif I fixed my routineâ or âif my life looked different.â It was deeper than that. It was the kind of spiral that makes you question your entire existence and whether youâre even lovable as a person.
In therapy this week, I realized Iâve spent years stuck between two values: honesty and loyalty. And almost every time, I chose loyalty even when it meant betraying myself.
Today weâre talking about what happens when two core values collide, why breaking old patterns can feel guilty instead of empowering, and how to tell the difference between being selfish and finally being honest.
If youâve ever called yourself âloyal to a fault,â this episode might explain why you feel so emotionally stuck.
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If youâve ever thought âwhy am I like this?â âwhy canât I just get it together?â or felt like no matter what you do, itâs never enough this episode is going to hit.
Because what if you don't actually hate yourself? What if youâve just been grading yourself your entire life, scoring your body, your productivity, your emotions, your progress, against standards you didnât even consciously choose?
In this episode, weâre unpacking the subtle but exhausting habit of turning your life into a performance review and why itâs the real reason you feel like youâre always falling short.
Youâll learn:
Why âself-hatredâ is often just constant self-evaluationHow you unknowingly built your internal grading systemWhy you never feel good enough (even when youâre doing well)How to stop living like a report card and start actually experiencing your lifeSimple, realistic ways to build self-worth that isnât based on performanceThis is your reminder that youâre not behind, broken, or not doing enough. Youâve just been measuring yourself in a way that makes it impossible to ever feel like you pass.
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In this episode, weâre getting real about what your daily life actually says about you because your habits, routines, and patterns arenât random!!!! Theyâre a reflection of what you believe you deserve, what you prioritize, and where you might be a little out of alignment.
If youâve been feeling like youâre âfailingâ your routine or lifestyle, constantly starting over, or trying to keep up with habits that look good online but feel impossible in real life, this episode is your reset.
Weâre talking about:
why youâre probably being way too hard on yourselfhow your life might be more performative than alignedthe subtle ways social media is shaping a routine that doesnât actually fit your lifeand how to build a lifestyle that actually feels good to live, not just one that looks goodThis isnât about fixing yourself. Itâs about finally understanding yourself, so you can build a life that feels like yours.
Because a Wellish life isnât perfect. Itâs human, repeatable, and livable.
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This is your reminder that self-improvement doesnât look like having it all together, it looks like paying attention and getting to know yourself on a deeper level.
In this weekâs Confessions of a Wellish Girly, Iâm breaking down what actually worked for me in April and what didnât. From the small habits that quietly kept my mental health afloat, to the patterns that still trip me up (hi reassurance + abandonment wounds!!!!), this episode is a real look at what growth actually feels like in real life.
Weâre talking:
the truth about movement + mental healthwhy ânot self-abandoningâ feels uncomfortable at firstthe difference between emotional reactions vs claritywhatâs shifting for me in relationships, routines, and career pressureand the little things that made life feel so much better this monthIf youâre in a season of figuring yourself out, softening your standards, and trying to build a life that actually feels good (not just looks good) this oneâs for you.
Items discussed:
Sweet Water Decor Self Care Candle: https://amzn.to/4e7OPlJLilac Yankee Candle: https://amzn.to/3P19kpSMicellar Clensing Water with Salicylic Acid: https://amzn.to/3P1fCWvGeeneiya Venus Lash Clusters: https://amzn.to/4mOWB69Attached by Amir Levine, M.D., and Rachel S.F. Heller, M.A.: https://amzn.to/4u6gE2e -
Somewhere along the way, we started believing that for our lives to be good enough they have to be full. Full schedules. Full calendars. Full routines. Full potential. So we keep adding more. More goals, more habits, more plans, thinking eventually it will feel like enough.
But what if the problem isnât that youâre not doing enough, itâs that your life is overpacked?
In this episode, I sit down with Brian Pultro, former Navy Commander turned financial planner, to unpack why so many of us feel the need to fill every inch of our lives in order to feel worthy, productive, or âon track.â
We talk about the pressure to do it all, why slowing down feels uncomfortable (even unsafe), and his philosophy of âmonk speed,â a more intentional, grounded way of living that prioritizes presence over pressure.
Because a life that looks full isnât the same as a life that feels full.
If youâve been chasing the feeling of âenoughâ by trying to do more, this episode will help you rethink what actually makes a life feel good to live.
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