Episodi

  • I wish nothing but the best...for youuuuuuu *in Sofia's best Adele voice*

    Today is the big day Sloots. Well, every Thursday is a big day for us, but this one is MAJOR. Today Sofia is coming clean. We’re getting the FULL breakdown of Sofia’s break up. We know this has been a hot topic for quite some time now, surrounded by a lot of speculation - but you're FINALLY about to hear it from the horse's mouth...excuse me, Sloots mouth. Aside from the big news and juicy details you all have been dying for, Sofia also has a RIDICULOUS story about encountering ANOTHER ex in a way that would only happen to her...No seriously, if this situation didn't prove that we're living in a simulation, we don't know what will. Elon Musk, knock it the fuck off. Sofia also tells us about how she flew in Mother Sloot (because what else are you supposed to do when you're going through a breakup?), and not only did her mom come immediately - but also proceeded to kick her while she was down....Lola, you're a real one for that because sometimes you just NEED to hear it. Finally, Sofia tells us why in gods name was she dressed up as a stripper in front of "Rudy Giuliani". Whew, that was a mouthful and what a life Sofia lives...good thing we get to listen for pure entertainment! Listen with open arms, ears, and mouths Sloots - this one is a doozy. 

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  • Before getting into today’s AMAZING guest, Sofia gives a VERY important PSA regarding the potential overturning of Roe V. Wade. To be a Sloot is to be ENTIRELY about female empowerment, so you KNOW Sofia had some words to say about this public health crisis…and you ABSOLUTELY should too!

    Today Sofia is joined by entrepreneur and health and wellness GURU Mari Llewellen! In this episode Mari brings us into her world by explaining her journey starting from the VERY beginning to present day. Mari explains to Sofia step by step not only what it took to lose 100lbs SAFELY, but how she’s maintained her new lifestyle throughout life’s ups and downs. Mari then gets EXTREMELY vulnerable explaining what made her change her entire life around while also providing health and fitness tips for the Sloots. Together Sofia and Mari also unpack the stigma’s around mental health, more specifically with Mari educating us about her experience with Borderline Personality Disorder. Though this episode does not include a story about Sofia getting arrested or swinging from the Empire State Building, these two ladies are covering some REAL shit that sometimes we just need to hear. So come on Sloots: 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and get those sit ups righttt in…at your own pace of course! You got this.

    Follow Sofia on Instagram and Twitter @SofiaFranklyn
    Find merch HERE: https://sofiafranklyn.com/ 

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  • Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with

    That will be the sign you read as you enter the colony that Sofia and her friends are raising their kids on. No father in sight? No problem! Kidding (kind of). This week Sofia is joined by long time friend Ali Azemar! Together the two unpack the RIDICULOUS societal pressures surrounding women turning the big 3-0. What ever happened to thirty, flirty, and thriving? With Ali just turning the corner and Sofia’s birthday coming up in July, the girls express both their concerns and excitement about this new era they’re entering. From dealing with men who think you want to get married off the bat, to the idea of freezing your eggs sooner than later - the girls cover it ALL. But don’t fret! There are WAY more positives than negatives (like actually having money in your 30’s!) Next, Ali takes us on her unconventional journey that led her to where she is today as a product developer for a men and women’s healthcare company. She gives us ALL the tips and tricks to help us not only secure an interview, but land the job too! …And she may have told us some horror stories of what NOT to do as well. Finally, Ali exposes Sofia’s self proclaimed “worst trait about herself”. Sofia says these claims are blasphemous but we know by now to take her opinion with a grain of salt, right? 

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  • If giving head was a college she’d be summa cum laude!

    SLOOTS, she’s back. Reporting from Sofia’s FAVORITE place on earth, Los Angeles! Before we get into the good stuff, Sofia breaks down and gives her VERY unsolicited opinion on Coachella and more importantly, Revolve Festival (aka Fyre Festival 2.0) - this opinion MAY be slightly biased considering Sofia was NOT invited…but that’s besides the point! Next (in typical Sofia fashion) she spends time COMPLETELY contradicting herself by telling us about her new found morning meditation routine. Don’t worry, she hasn’t COMPLETELY changed on us nor is she saying her life is that of a stable person, it’s just not falling apart entirely anymore (thanks to these tips). Lastly, we cover one of our (least) FAVORITE past times: the art of blowjobs. No, we’re not re-teaching the Gluck Gluck. That’s old news. Tune in to hear why pleasing your partner is not only imperative for your relationship, but good for the mind, throat, body, and soul. Open wide Sloots!

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  • Second chances they don’t ever matter people never change!

    UNLESS you’re Jlo and Ben Affleck that is. ATTN SLOOTS: PLEASE do not take this as a sign to back to your trifling, good-for-nothing ex. BUT on the off chance that they don’t fall directly in the “piece of shit” category, Sofia has some choice words for you this week. But wait! Not only Sofia, we are FINALLY joined by our OG producer Alex Franco! Yes, everyone's FAVORITE e-girl is BACK! Together the two catch up on each other's lives discussing Sofia’s most recent vaginal crisis (STD free though!) and much like Jenny from the Block, Alex’s rekindled flame with her ex. Since love (or some other odor) seems to be in the air, Sofia felt it was appropriate to dive into the PAINFUL discussion of THEM vs. THE IDEA of them in today's Sloot University. I know it hurts Sloots, but it needs to be discussed. We know you envision a life of romance and 401K’s with Brad, but you need to open your eyes to your current reality, which is someone who punches walls when he gets “mad” and crusty sheets and cum towels that haven’t been washed since you last did it for him 3 months ago. Sometimes it’s better to rip the bandaid off now. But you know what they say, if you love something, set them free. If it comes back it’s yours - even if it's 18 years and three husbands later! 

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  • “It’s not my fault he’s like in love with me or something!” - John to Sofia after he made out with her boyfriend

    YES SLOOTS…Our king is BACK. 53 episodes later John Like the Bible has returned from war…and by war we mean the one he recently conquered with “Lisa”, Bitcoin, and the metaverse. More on that later. This week Sofia brings us up to date on ALL things John including his ~thriving~ love life, career, AND skateboarding skills. Promise it’s FAR more interesting than it sounds. The duo also dives into some interesting topics such as the “gay best friend” controversy, AND a fun game of “What Kind of Gay Are You?” (PS: If you’re a Lana gay we are JUDGING you - kidding…kinda). Finally, instead of Raya, John has a NEW dating app (website?) for us that is by far the WILDEST shit we have ever stumbled across. Just know going forward: no Macy’s bathroom is safe. 

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  • Get in Sloots, we’re self-accepting

    Sloots, we are FINALLY getting Sofia to ourselves again this week. So you know what that means: clear your schedule for your weekly dose of debauchery and shenanigans. 
    In the past 7 days, Sofia has managed to embarrass herself in front of the ENTIRE West Village impersonating Neil Armstrong AND was (almost) forcefully removed from her apartment building. Some may call it trouble in paradise, we just call it another day in the office. More importantly, for today's Sloot University we talk about a VERY necessary concept: FUCK SELF-HELP. Yes, you read that right. Throw out the books, unfollow that matcha-drinking, journaling girl on Tik-Tok, and PLEASE do not blow your paycheck at Sephora in the name of “retail therapy”. It’s NOT worth it. The real “self-improvement” begins when you SELF-ACCEPT, not when you throw out all your club clothes in place of the Lululemon BBL jacket. Think about it Sloots, actually don’t think - listen to this episode.

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  • WE JUST WANNA DO CRAZY SHIT AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS

    Drum roll please…Our favorite Sloot-by-association has returned for a SURPRISE back-to-back episode! Sofia is joined by Stella Barey aka The Anal Princess yet again for an even WILDER episode than last. This week Sofia asks Stella for all ALL of the dirty details regarding well…EVERYTHING your dirty mind can think of. When we say this week is DIRTY, it’s a fucking understatement. Prepare to have your mind blown with the different tips, tricks, and kinks you probably haven’t even heard of yet…and TBH, some you may never want to hear again after this episode. Gynecologist and daddy daughter kinks, golden showers, and even scat play (don’t look it up) - Sloots, we cover it ALL. Together the girls also discuss their relationships with their parents and their jobs since they MAY be considered “less than admirable” by society, AND how you can learn how to orgasm EIGHT times in a row (good luck walking afterwards though). Finally, Stella leaves us with a story about an exclusive topless LA hotel where she left with multiple orgasms, AND gummy bears up her asshole. If we never had to give you a parental advisory before, this is the episode that needs it. Put your headphones in because you may be kicked out if they hear this. 

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  • I think I just fell in love with a porn star…turn the camera on, she a born star!

    SLOOTS, gather around, we have a VERY special guest this week! Today Sofia is joined by Stella Barely aka The Anal Princess. Stella is a top 0.01% creator on Only Fans, a VIRAL sensation on Tik Tok, and a TRUE Sloot. Together the ladies cover A LOT of questionable but expected topics such as: narcissistic fathers, fucking men from homeless shelters, LA’s members only sex parties, and the realization of how many true geniuses work in the porn industry. Next, Stella lets us in on her upbringing by telling us about her history at NYU and UCLA, and about the time her dad bribed her with an unlimited AMEX card so she wouldn’t tell her mom he was cheating. Of course, we get to the good stuff as well. Like her namesake, Stella tells us about her FIRST anal experience and also gives us tips on how we can accept back door deliveries MUCH easier. Lastly, Sofia and Stella discuss making at home videos and how the hottest nude is the one we probably hate the most…raw and uncut. That goes for dicks we prefer too. Get comfy Sloots, there’s A LOT to take in here - and you never know, you may be hearing from The Anal Princess again VERY soon. 

    Follow Sofia on Instagram and Twitter @SofiaFranklyn
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  • CONCRETE JUNGLE WHERE DREAMS ARE MADEEE OF
    YES! You heard it right! Sofia is BACK in the city so nice they named it twice…NEW YORK…NEW YORKKK *Frank Sinatra voice* This is a BIG deal…because well, IFYKYK. She barely made it there - but if she can make it there, she can make it anywhere, right? Okay we’re done with corny references, just had to get it out the system. This episode is an EXCITING one. Tune in to hear Sofia take you along her first few days back in New York City. Listen as she takes you through her luxurious new building, and the not-so-luxurious maggots she brought with her (a very traumatic experience for all parties involved). Next, Sofia lets us in on some ground breaking technological advances that literally EVERYONE else in the world knew about besides her. And in true Sofia fashion, the way she learned about this technology was NOTHING short of chaotic. You know how at 3 AM you think back to that REALLY embarrassing thing you did in 2012 and want to die? This is definitely gonna be one of those for Sofia. Finally, we have a not-so-appropriate Sloot University lesson on one of TikTok’s favorite buzzwords: LOVE BOMBING. We know the signs, we know how this is gonna end…but can we have some fun? Like is it THAT bad to be told that you’re someone's sun moon and stars only 36 hours after meeting them? Probably…but let’s use it to our advantage Sloots. 
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  • For a final farewell episode from the Utah home base, Sofia is joined by the people who know her best…Mother and Brother Sloot! Shockingly, all parties were able to make it through this recording with MINIMAL tears shed. Though this episode had every intention of being sentimental, leave it to Sofia’s family to make it fucking CHAOTIC. Together, Drapers Finest discusses Lola’s newfound mental clarity (thanks to a witch doctor?), Sofia’s fugitive status and how it’s actively ruining her life, and the MANY times Lola’s children have nearly sent her into cardiac arrest. We also felt it would be a good exercise for Sofia’s family to go through the men she’s dated and give their HONEST opinion…and to answer what you’re already thinking: YES, we talk about him too. SO much is covered in this episode like Lola’s nudes and Lucas’ take on modern maternity wear? A lot is going on, so gather round Sloots, we’re having a family dinner tonight. 
    Follow Sofia on Instagram and Twitter @SofiaFranklyn
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  • It isn’t sex…it’s the next best thing!
    Sleep-fucking, scamming, and sexting oh my! We cover A LOT this week, so buckle tf up Sloots. This week Sofia had A LOT to say…per usual. Have you ever woken up next to a male creature before and felt *something* poking you ever so slightly in the bum? Us too…well Sofia had a revelation about that this week which may make you hate your significant other. Sorry. Next, we discuss the man, the myth, the legend, Simon Leviev aka THE TINDER SWINDLER (PS…PLEASE check your DM’s sir, we are ready and willing). Sofia discusses her opinion on the swindler and the swindled and that one time she paid a guys phone bill (extremely embarrassing please respect our privacy at this time. Finally, we have a very necessary Sloot University on one of America’s favorite past times…SEXTING! We give you the ins and outs, ways to spice up the most bland sext, AND if you’re as lazy as Sofia, a generated sext-bot that can come up with some spicy things for you on the spot. If you’re listening to this with virgin ears around you, turn this shit UP because it’s time for them to learn a thang or two (if they’re above 18 of course!)
    Follow Sofia on Instagram and Twitter @SofiaFranklyn
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  • Runaway fast as youuuu can…seriously
    Welcome back Slooties! Not to be a hater of love and all things happy, but this week we focus on some of the perks of Valentine's Day ENDING. Don’t lie, you know you’re happy that shit is over too. Next, Sofia unpacks the wild world that is Keeping up with the Kardashians…and Kanye West. We unpack it from a micro level and discuss how dangerous the behavior we’re seeing truly is. Which leads us gracefully into this week's Sloot University which hones in on the MANY various types of abuse, and how it’s not always what you see in the movies. Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sloots - just because he says it, it doesn’t mean he really loves you. We learn behaviors to watch out for and how to really look certain things in the eye, no matter how much it hurts. 
    TW: Domestic violence and abusive behavior
    National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233
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  • This just in: being canceled is the new blue checkmark!
    Home is where the heart is, and that’s why Sofia is FINALLY coming at you live from her home base AKA Lola’s house in Utah. Well, for half of the episode at least. Today Sofia is joined by podcasting royalty, Claudia Oshrey of The Morning Toast. Cheers to that! Get? Anyway, together, the two talk about some hard-hitting issues in the world…like how chaotic this season of RHOSLC has been. Get ready for a deep psychoanalysis of ALL of the housewives (when in reality Sofia should probably be doing this on herself). Next, the two shamefully discuss the times they were both canceled, how your embarrassing moment on social media WILL pass, and Claudia’s stint on Say Yes To The Dress. The two also give top tier advice on the reality of being an influencer and content creator, and trust…not all that glitters is gold Sloots. I know, sounds superficial but it’s real. Of course, even though we have a special guest, Sofia needed to talk about herself. She takes us along her NYC trip that she just returned from and explains how it turned into a 3-week bender filled with fireball, Pete Davidson, and a “girl” named Molly. It really never ends with Sofia, but that’s why you’re all still here right? Talk soon Sloots!

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  • F is for friends who do stuff together U is for U and Me…
    Welcome back Slootiez. This week we’re keepin’ it short and sweet in preparation for doomsday next week…aka Valentines Day. ANYWAYS - we cover the most important news of the 21st century this week aka Rihanna being pregnant. While we are SO happy for our kween, we’re already manifesting ways to figure out how we can come back in our next lives as her second child. We also go into a serious but necessary Sloot University regarding friendship. Not just friendship by itself, but being a friend when it’s HARD to be a friend. Everyone speaks so openly about mental illness, but how much do you really show up for your friends who are suffering from it? Today we’re learning how to show up for others while still saving time for ourselves. If there’s one thing about Sloots is that we stick TOGETHER, even when the going gets tough. 
    National Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255
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  • Alexa, play “Yes Sir” by Chief Keef 
    Today Sofia is joined by some ILLUSTRIOUS guests: Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein of the Stiff Socks podcast! Much like the raunchy title of their show, things are about to get REALLY dirty around here. Together, the three dive into the many different aspects of a relationship including (but not limited to): finishing inside a girl, dirty talk, and anal play. You know, the important stuff. We also discovered that the new go-to name in bed is “Sir”…Daddy is DEAD. The trio also unpacks the many financial dilemmas that arise within relationships such as splitting the dinner bill, rent, and when you should and shouldn’t Venmo your partner (spoiler alert ladies: NEVER). Aside from a spicy conversation with our incredible guests, Sofia also recaps her most recent trip to LA, teasing an unsuspecting collaboration in the works and her soon-to-be RHOSLC cameo…needless to say, stay tuned Sloots.  
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  • There are 3 things that are for certain in this life: death, taxes, and being force-fed information about MGK and Megan Fox.
    We’re happy to have you back Sloots. We have A LOT to fill you in on. In case you haven’t heard, Sofia is now TikTok’s newest star! Shout out to the NY Post for making this possible. This week Sofia dissects her latest media debacle and how this podcast will soon come to an end due to her newfound fame. Once she snapped back into reality, Sofia then covers the most blood-sucking news of the week…Megan Fox and MGK’s engagement. At this point, we (unfortunately) know more about their relationship than we do ourselves. After devising her plan to sneak into their Twilight-themed wedding, Sofia moves on to the most important period of the week: SLOOT UNIVERSITY. This week, Professor Sloot embraces her motherly role and brings us in with a warm embrace. Whether you’re just entering or exiting your twenties, Sofia’s Declassified Survival Guide will help you get through them (or at the very least let you know you’re not the ONLY shit show around here). From student loans to job hunting, and outgrowing friends - Sofia has it ALL covered. Pencils and paper out Sloots, we know you needed this one. 

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  • I never fucked Wayne I never fucked Drake…yet
    Welcome home Slooty Pebbles! It’s a new week and Sofia is BACK from Miami and more specifically, straight out of a stripper’s asshole! No, seriously. This week we dive into A LOT of topics. First, Sofia gives us a rundown of her trip and tells a special story about how a Sloot spotted her out and about and felt it was appropriate to attempt to embarrass her in front of her friends. Next, we dive into the hottest (literally) story of the week regarding an Instagram model, Drake, a condom, and condiment. Something out of the four doesn’t belong! We dive into the topic of “trapping” and how no matter how rich he is…it’s pretty much NEVER worth it. Finally, In this weeks Sloot University we cover a very important topic: anxiety. Sofia unpacks the many different forms of anxiety, the harsh yet humorous reality about her struggles, and how much therapy honestly fucking sucks. But we support it! 2022 has started off HOT (Frank’s Red Hot specifically) and we are back to our regularly scheduled program! Love you Sloots
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  • HAPPY NEW YEAR SLOOTS! 
    Well honestly…New Years are a little overrated so you will NOT be getting any “New Year New Me” BS here. This week Sofia gets real about the pressure that surrounds going into a new year and how it is OKAY to not wake up on January 1st ready to change your entire life. So don’t worry, you’re not alone. There is one thing we’re doing a little different in the new year…and that is empowering all the short kings! Seriously this is NOT a joke. If Zendaya can do it, so can you! Sloots, we are leaving the no-good, bad credit having, broken down car 6’2 losers in the past, and finding someone who treats you right, EVEN IF he’s 5’9. Get over it. Finally, we have a Sloot University seminar that really brings us back to our roots: The Lost Art of Fingering. When was the last time you had a really good finger sesh? Don’t worry, we’ll wait…exactly. It’s almost as if once sex came into the picture, fingering was left in the 9th grade. It’s okay though because we are bringing it BACK. Stretch those fingers and wrists out, they’re gonna need it. 
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  • It’s beginning to look a lot like Slootmas
    After some much needed TLC, Sofia is BACK from Hawaii and ready to celebrate Slootmas with her favorite people…THE SLOOTS! Today Sofia dives into the painfully stressful topic of in-laws, specifically for those that are lucky enough to have to spend the holidays with them! I know Sloots, it’s REALLY exhausting pretending that your boyfriend's mom's cooking is good and having to make fake conversation for three days but YOU GOT THIS. Mainly because Sofia is here to endure the pain with you. Listen along as you learn all the quick tips and tricks to survive the holiday break with your S/O’s wonderful family. In other more important news, the Kardashian kids are on Tik Tok! Naturally, Sofia had a ton to say about this - specifically Mason Disick, who is currently Sloot Media’s favorite star-child. Lastly, we cover aux cord etiquette, including all the do’s and dont’s of being the DJ of your friend group - an honor you TRULY don’t wanna mess up. 
    Happy Holidays Sloots, without you guys none of this would be possible. Be kind to yourselves and those around you this holiday season. Don’t forget to take care of yourselves. You deserve it.
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